Ant Middleton Quotes

It was just a case of working out exactly where the fear was in space and time, then visualising it, before making a conscious choice to step into it and – finally – doing what had to be done.

Staying in that corridor doesn’t just mean remaining where you are, being the same person forever. It means you shrink. You get weaker. More pathetic. Fear is a magic shrinking potion. If you don’t learn to harness it, it will make you smaller and smaller and smaller.

You don't look backwards to walk forwards.

I’ll then take a deep look into the three kinds of fear: fear of suffering, fear of failure and fear of conflict.

People who treat change as a positive force are able to adapt to any situation, because the human mind is incredible

Negative people hate other humans being positive and will always try to attack them.

Forget the past. You can’t change it. It has no power over you. And forget the future too. You can’t control that either. You can only change your life in the present. All that matters is right now.

By contrast, if you stay in a negative environment for too long you’ll become a negative person. Fact. It will suck the life out of you. It’s the same with negative people. If you’re surrounded by people who think and act negatively, then it’s for fucking sure that you’ll start doing the same. It’s up to you, really.

This is why I always tell people, don’t try to better your life, don’t try to better your work, don’t try to better your relationships. Don’t try to be rich, happy, successful. Don’t do any of that. You’ll be wasting your time. It doesn’t work. Nothing will change, and you’ll get disillusioned and burned out. Instead, you should work at trying to better who you are as a character. Be the best version of you that you can imagine, and I guarantee that all the rest of it will just fall naturally into place.

Even in this genuinely fearful situation I was able to switch out of that default ‘Be careful’ mindset. It starts with clear thinking.

The blue streams on the map looked like veins on a tea-lady’s leg.

How we think defines how we act, and how we act defines the events of our life.

the fear of giving offence creates more problems than it solves. Ultimately what you’re scared of is that your hosts won’t like you because you’ve, say, thrown a chewing-gum wrapper on the fire. But most people are reasonable.

The people who love you will offer you constructive criticism, because they want you to be the best version of yourself that you can be. They know you’re better than that. They know what you’re worth. They’re not having a pop because they want to bring you down a peg or two.

It’s like I’m two different people. That’s why I think it’s crucial that you don’t define yourself as just one person. That, to me, is the sign of a fake. It’s the sign of someone who has this fantasy model of who they want everyone to think they are and just tries to act up to it all the time. When you’re true to yourself you know that you’re a different person in different situations, and you’re totally relaxed about it.

If a parent behaves in a negative way around their child, then, guess what, their child is going to grow up with a negative mindset. This means that as parents we carry a huge responsibility on our shoulders. And yet how many of us can really say we’re leading by example? I worry that we’re becoming a nation of lazy parents. We’re so concerned with ourselves, we’re so narcissistic, that we forget that if we start acting like kids, our kids will start acting like babies. There’s a knock-on effect. Adults, increasingly, are acting like teenagers. Teenagers, more and more, are acting like children. Children are regressing into babies. There are adults who can barely look after themselves. They play the victim all the time and think only of me, me, me. Their kids don’t stand a fucking chance. No wonder there’s a whole generation of children who stick their heads in their laptops or tablets and never come out. We’re supposed to be taking steps forward in life, not tumbling back!

It goes against the grain of our being to be stuck in that mode of existence. That’s not who we are as a species. Mankind has always thrived on danger and excitement, on pushing itself beyond boundaries. That’s us at our best. We used to spend our energy trying to put people on the moon; now mankind’s main aim seems to be seeing how much of its existence it can conduct without ever having to leave the couch.

known.

De flesta av dagens män är inlindade i bomull. Ingen hålls ansvarig för sina handlingar. Män tillåts inte att vara män längre.

Jag var inte där för att vara deras polare, jag var där för att vara deras ledare.

Have the strength to realise what’s happening and ensure that you define yourself. Meet that negativity with positivity, every single time. Fear of taking action is fear of the unknown. True leaders don’t underestimate the potential destructive power of what lies behind that door, but neither do they let that stop them bursting through it, as long as it’s done carefully and intelligently. You have a choice. Allow that negativity in, and let it obsess you and eventually poison you. Or turn it around. If you’re smart, these enemies become a gift – a battery that never runs out. A part of the reason I struggled at Pre-Para was the length of my legs. Rather than throw my hands up, which I very nearly did, I realised I could compensate in another area. We all have reasons to make excuses for failure. Most people use them. Be the exceptional person – find the route around. There’s an expectation, especially when you’re new, that you’ll ‘join in’ and become one of the gang. You need to hit that balance. If you completely separate yourself, you won’t win trust. But never forget – if you have your sights set at the top, you need to resist coming across as just another dog in the pack. Every group you’ll ever belong to will tell themselves they’re the best. As a leader, you need to let that myth flourish, because it creates motivation. But you should also be constantly on guard not to believe it yourself. Do what you have to, even if people judge you for it. I know some of the lads probably found my attitude to letters and calls to my family harsh or unfeeling. But I had my reasons, and I wasn’t going to let their preconceptions bully me into not doing what I knew was best for me. It’s allowing that mistake to take you over that’s the real problem. When you make a mistake you should accept that it’s happened, push all the self-recriminations aside and calmly make a new plan. Don’t be intimidated by all the people you have to beat to get to the top. It was a dizzying moment for me, in Sennybridge, when I saw the amount of bodies in that room, knowing that only a handful would pass. The numbers are irrelevant. The only thing that counts is you. You can’t trust your body. It tells you it’s got nothing left when it’s still a hundred miles from breaking. And when it does actually break, it heals. The only true war you’ll ever fight is with your own mind. Wins are rarely clean. Life is complex, people are dangerous, and real fights usually cause damage to both sides. I was furious when I discovered that Khalida’s mother had been assaulted, but I also knew that there was nothing I could have done about it. . I guarantee that life will offer you the opportunity to prove why you’re the leader. And when it does, it’s all up to you.

When your mind and body are in harmony you can push yourself to your limits and beyond. Work hard to make them operate in unison, and you’ll soon see the benefits. When you’re struggling physically, it will affect you mentally. If your mind isn’t strong, your body will suffer. We are all a work in progress. None of us is perfect, none of us is the finished article. We all have so much space to grow and change. Embrace your potential, shrug off your fears and take another step towards becoming the best version of you. Your confidence should be based on what you know you’re capable of not the opinions of others. When you have internal confidence you’ll be more resilient, more willing to try new things, and you’ll be able to take whatever life throws at you in your stride. Confidence is not a natural trait. Confidence isn’t a quality that some people are born with and others aren’t. Everyone who is willing to put the right work in can become confident. Don’t wait for somebody else to tell you what you’re capable of; go out there straight away and prove it to yourself. You won’t become confident overnight. Nothing worth anything comes together instantly. You build your confidence step by step. No setback is ever final. The process of building your confidence slowly but surely can help us address those traumatic experiences in our past that are stopping us from enjoying our future. Imposter syndrome is forced on us by other people’s negativity. Fight back by reminding yourself of everything you’ve achieved and everything you’re capable of. Building your confidence isn’t the work of a day, it’s the work of a lifetime. If you rest on your laurels for too long, you’ll find that your confidence starts to ebb away. Never stop challenging yourself. If you’re feeling uncomfortable, you’re heading in the right direction. Don’t be a square peg in a round hole. When you suppress your instincts and personality to fit somebody else’s agenda, you’ll end up living a crushed, unsatisfying life. Your authentic self is precious. Guard it fiercely. Resist any attempts to make you go down paths you know aren’t right for you. There’s only one person whose opinion should matter: you. ‘Normal’ is a concept designed to make us conform. You should never forget that everybody’s ‘normal’ is different. So don’t let anybody persuade you otherwise. Pay attention to individuals, not identities. You should never make assumptions about somebody based on the colour of their skin, their gender or the faith they follow. Look past these to the person behind them. If you demand respect, you’ve got to give it too. If I need to explain this to you, I don’t think I can help you. Don’t live your life on default. Make the most of every day by following a sensible routine. Set up good habits when you’re young. The older you get, the harder it becomes to change the way you eat, sleep and – most importantly – exercise. You must constantly exercise your body and your mind. If you let one languish, you can be sure it will drag the other one down with it. Your body is the best guide there is to what it needs to function at its best level. Your body is constantly communicating with you. All you have to do is listen. Sleep isn’t an optional extra. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you can skip this crucial, irreplaceable chance to repair, restore and recover. Never pass the buck, never point the finger. If you’ve crashed and burned, you’ve got to front up and take responsibility. Blaming others might make you feel better in the short term, but it also means you’re never going to discover the amazing lessons that failure teaches us. One step back, two steps forward. You might think failures are the end of something. But it’s much better to think of them as steps on the way to success. Each failure brings your ultimate triumph a bit closer.No setback is ever final. Don’t let your failures define you.

Don’t get trapped in the world of ‘what if?’ We can’t predict the future. We can’t change the past. So work hard to live in the moment. Work out what is and isn’t in your hands. Use your time and energy to focus on what you can control. Don’t dwell on what you can’t control. Remember that nothing endures. Try to take the long view. Whatever you’re going through now won’t last forever. It will soon be little more than a memory. The future is bright. Free yourself of the assumption that the future is littered with trouble and strife. It’s just as likely that it will contain exciting opportunities. The power of humour. Laughter can be a brilliant antidote to stress and allows you to get a new perspective on your situation. No matter how bleak things seem, see if you can find a way to see the funny side. Anxiety is a negative form of energy, but you can flip it into a positive. If you’re worried that you’re not in good enough shape for that marathon you’ve got coming up, use that anxiety to drive you on in your training. Your body is amazing and unique. Cherish it. Celebrate the things that make your body different from anybody else’s. No body is ever perfect. Everyone has parts of their physique that they dislike. Work out what you can change, make peace with the things you can’t change. You fit 100 per cent into your own skin. Learn as much as you can from other people, but never try to imitate them. Your health is paramount. There’s no cosmetic improvement that justifies compromising your physical or mental well-being. Internet trolls are inadequate leeches. They feed off attention, so don’t give it to them. Don’t be ashamed of taking care of yourself. Wear nice clothes, get fancy haircuts, go to salons. Do whatever makes you feel happy. Just make sure that you’re doing it for your benefit, not other people’s.

Good relationships are built on strong connections. Don’t be swayed by superficial qualities. Make sure that you share similar values and priorities. Lust is not enough! Every relationship is a shared project. The true value of that bond isn’t in how good it is in the first month, it’s how it looks after five, then ten years. Energy never lies. We’re all constantly giving off energy that tells other people who we really are. No matter what we say about ourselves, the energy we throw out will always tell the truth. Life is too short for small talk. Avoid bullshit conversation. Talk about things that you actually care about. Find common ground. Common ground is the bridge that allows human beings to make meaningful connections. Work out what’s important to other people, then engage with them using what you’ve learned. You can learn to control your emotions. If you don’t make that effort, they will end up controlling you. Your emotional make-up is unique to you. Only you can do the work of becoming intimately familiar with your emotions. Break what you’re feeling down. What is it? Why is it happening now? Keep asking questions until you know those feelings inside out. Expose your emotions before they expose you. You have to go out and expose your emotions to the world. Make sure you know what anger or fear feels like. Never underestimate yourself. You’ve survived so much shit in life and you’re still standing. Use the resilience you already possess as a foundation, and keep on building on it. The war against pain is as much mental as it is physical. If you’re ever contemplating taking on an awesome physical challenge, don’t neglect your mental preparations. You have a body and a mind – use them both. Share the load between your mental and physical faculties. If you can lean on your body to give your mind a rest, do it. You’ll be grateful later. Confrontation doesn’t need to be aggressive. Take the emotion out of the situation. You don’t need to attack the other person; just let them know that you have a problem and you want them to help you solve it. You’re responsible for what you say and how you say it. You’re not responsible for how the other person reacts. Be as kind and considerate as possible, but don’t let the fear of hurting their feelings stop you from telling them what they need to hear. If they get upset, that’s up to them. A bully’s negativity isn’t your problem. All that bullies want is to pass their negativity on to other people. Just ignore them. Don’t give them the chance to infect you with their misery

The moment you tell yourself, ‘I’m gone, I can’t do this,’ the moment you let that negative thought penetrate your mind, then you’ve lost. You’re giving your mind permission to surrender power. Giving your physical self the psychological affirmation it needs to shut down. To quit.