Andy Cohen Quotes

I was a good kid, but I've had one Achilles' heel that's stayed with me through the years: talking. I simply could not shut the fuck up-I still can't and that small issue has gotten me in all sorts of trouble.

Sometimes, the only option is to say you’re sorry, even if you have no idea what someone is talking about.

Time stands still when someone dear vanishes from life.

Someday we will all be dead and you will be praying for a Saturday night at Marie’s with the gang.

I HAVE SOCIAL DISEASE. I HAVE TO GO OUT EVERY NIGHT. IF I STAY HOME ONE NIGHT I START SPREADING RUMORS TO MY DOGS. —ANDY WARHOL

Bless me, readers, for I have published. It's been five years since my last book. Greetings, fellow sinners! If you picked up a copy of this book, it means you are either: 1) wracked with guilt and are looking for penance, or 2) need to spend over $10.00 at the airport newsstand so you can use your credit card. Either way, welcome to Stephen Colbert's Midnight Confessions. As America's foremost TV Catholic, it was natural for me to do a segment inspired by the church. After all, the Catholic Church and late night TV actually have a lot in common: our shows last about an hour, we're obsessed with reaching younger demographics, and the hosts are almost always men. This religious-adjacent tome contains all my favorite confessions from The Late Show. These are things that aren't necessarily sins, but I do feel guilty about them. For instance, repackaging material from the show and selling it in a book. I've always been a big fan of confession. The confessional is a great place to go to relieve yourself of your sins. Unless you're claustrophobic, in which case it's a suffocating death trap of despair! And while most confession books just give you run-of-the-mill mortal sins, I go one step further and provide you with mortal sins, venial sins, deadly sins, and even sins of omission (Notice that the previous sentence didn't have a period!) This book is a throwback to a simpler life when people would go to a priest to confess their sins. As opposed to how it's done now - getting drunk and weeping to Andy Cohen on Bravo. Confessing your sins is a great way to get things off your chest. Second only to waxing. The only downside is that you get introduced to it as a kid, before you have any juicy sins to confess. Oh, you stole a cookie? That's adorable, Becky. Come back when you total your dad's Chevy. Now you might be asking yourself, "What if I'm not Catholic - can I still enjoy this book?" Of course. After all, no matter what religion you are - be it Jewish, Muslim, Lutheran, Pagan, or SoulCycle - we all have things to feel guilty about. For example, not being Catholic.

I usually don't know these women. I literally don't know their names sometimes. More often than not, I meet them when I step into the car my manager sends to pick me up. And then the minute we walk into whatever venue we're going to, they go talk to Leonardo DiCaprio or Andy Cohen, or one of the Desperate Housewives-" "Do you mean the Real Housewives?" she asked as an impish smile overtook her face. "I mean, maybe they're snubbing you to go talk to Teri Hatcher...

ferkakte

bars crowded with World

the canary, with my parents “This afternoon. I just saw on the

Joan—seated across from me—took an empty Ziploc from her purse and tidily filled it with meat for her dogs.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2015 SantaCon today (again—it feels like it’s twice a year) in the 60-degree weather. Gay people don’t seem to take part in it, which is interesting because it’s all about costumes and drinking. It’s all straight, buffoonish guys who I’m pretty sure wind up doing it with dudes at the end of the night. I don’t know why.

Ran into Anderson on the street

Gay people will eat other gay people alive.

early days.) Went to Laura

Every time I go from Manhattan to either Boston or DC, I endlessly ruminate about whether to take the train or the shuttle.

Andy Cohen: She followed in the footsteps of our other Housewives and did a song next, naturally. The more songs the better, as far as I’m concerned. It’s theater of the absurd.

I just love bossy women. I could be around them all day. To me, bossy is not a pejorative term at all. It means somebody’s passionate and engaged and ambitious and doesn’t mind leading.” —Amy Poehler