Zoya Quotes

Zoya of the lost city. Zoya of the garden. Zoya bleeding in the snow. You are strong enough to survive the fall.

Stop punishing yourself for being someone with a heart. You cannot protect yourself from suffering. To live is to grieve. You are not protecting yourself by shutting yourself off from the world. You are limiting yourself.

Most women suffer thorns for the sake of the flowers, but we who wield power adorn ourselves with flowers to hide the sting of our thorns

I would give you a crown if I could," he said. "I would show you the world from the prow of a ship. I would choose you, Zoya. As my general, as my friend, as my bride. I would give you a sapphire the size of an acorn." He reached into his pocket. "And all I would ask in return is that you wear this damnable ribbon in your hair on our wedding day.

Fear is a phoenix. Words Liliyana had spoken to her years ago and that Zoya had repeated to others many times. You can watch it burn a thousand times and still it will return.

Get a message to the Crow Club,” she said. “Tell Kaz Brekker the queen of Ravka has a job for him.

You’re late,” said Zoya. “I’m the king,” said Nikolai. “That means you’re early.

Is that all?' said Zoya. 'Will you be taking up juggling as well?' 'Don't be ridiculous,' Nikolai replied. 'I already know how to juggle. Literally and figuratively.

Say something spiteful.” “Why?” she asked faintly. “Because I’m fairly certain I'm hallucinating and in my dreams you're much nicer.” “You're an idiot, Nikolai.

You are strong enough to survive the fall

I suppose that's why I love you." His eyes flew open and his face lit in an extraordinary grin. "All Saints, say it again." "I will not." "You must." "I'm the queen. I must do nothing but please myself." "Would it please you to kiss me?

This is what love does. In the stories, love healed your wounds, fixed what was broken, allowed you to go on. But love wasn’t a spell, some kind of benediction to be whispered, a balm or a cure-all. It was a single, fragile thread, which grew stronger through connection, through shared hardship and trust.

He knew what Zoya would say: You are owed nothing. Steel is earned. Remember who you are.

You do realize you just referred to yourself as the queen. That means you agreed." "I am going to kill you." "So long as you kiss me again before you do.

And if...if I wished for more?" She felt his fingers on her chin, turning her head. There was an unwanted ache in her throat. Zoya forced herself to meet his gaze. In this light, his hazel eyes looked almost golden. "Then I would gladly be your prince, your consort, your demon fool.

That squash is as wide as I am tall, " Nikolai said beneath his breath as he smiled and waved. "And twice as handsome. " "Half as handsome," he protested. "Ah, " said Zoya, "but the squash doesn't talk.

He had wanted her for so long that it seemed impossible he should actually have her beside him every day, that he might lay down beside her every night. Not impossible, he supposed. Just improbable.

Alina nodded. "The real question is how you're going to outdo this gown for the royal wedding." "Don't get ahead of yourself," Zoya said. "Nikolai hasn't asked." "Can you blame him?" Genya said. "He hasn't had much luck with proposals." Alina snorted. "Maybe he should have offered me a dynasty and not a piddly little emerald.

Sorry,” I mumbled. “Maybe you’re hungry,” said Zoya. “I always get mean when I’m hungry.” “Are you hungry all the time?” asked Harshaw. “You haven’t seen me mean. When you do, you’ll require a very big hanky.” He snorted. “To dry my tears?” “To stanch the bleeding.

Zoya and I gaped at him. Then she scowled. "You know, if you turned a bit of that poetry on me, I might consider giving you a change." "Who says I want one?" "I want one!" called Harshaw. Zoya blew a damp curl from her forehead. "Oncat as a better chance than you." Harshaw held the little tabby above him. "Why, Oncat," he said. "You rogue.

Hand me that brandy,” said Zoya. “I can’t tolerate this degree of stupidity on a clear head.

I would make you my queen because I want you. I want you all the time.

I will put a bullet in your brain before I let that happen, Nikolai." "My ruthless Zoya, I'll load the gun myself.

Toss him over,” Zoya said. “Break his heart cruelly. I will gladly give our poor prince comfort, and I would make a magnificent queen.” I laughed. “You actually might, Zoya. If you could stop being horrible for a minute.” “With that kind of incentive, I can manage a minute. Possibly two.

I will always seek to make it summer for you.

There was nothing else to do but keep moving forward. You chose your path. You walked it. You hoped to find a way home again.

In that moment, he wished things might have been different. That he might not die tomorrow. That he could be led by his heart instead of duty. Because Zoya was not kind and she was not easy. But she was already a queen.

Why do you never kiss me sweetly in the morning, Zoya?” “I do nothing sweetly, Your Highness.

He would not beg Zoya to stay. It was not in his nature to plead with anyone, and that was not the pact they shared. They did not look to each other for comfort. They kept each other marching. They kept each other strong. So he would not find another excuse to get her talking again. He would not tell her he was afraid to be left alone with the thing he might become, and he would not ask her to leave the lamp burning, a child's bit of magic to ward off the dark. But he was relieved when she did it anyway.

I will kneel to only one ruler, and I will se only one person crowned this say. The age of the Lanstovs is over." He sank to one knee. "Let the Nazyalensky dynasty begin. All hail the Dragon Queen.

Your heart is in your eyes, Your Highness," murmured Tamar, wiping the sweat from her brow. Tolya poled his twin in the arm with a sparring sword. "Tamar knows because that's the way she looks at her wife" "I am free to look at my wife any way I please." "But Zoya is not Nikolai's wife.

We told the Grisha to come alone,” said Kaz. “I’m afraid that wasn’t possible,” said the man. “Though Zoya is, of course, a force to be reckoned with, Genya’s extraordinary gifts are ill-suited to physical confrontation. I, on the other hand, am well suited to all forms of confrontation, though I’m particularly fond of the physical.” Kaz’s eyes narrowed. “Sturmhond.” “He knows me!” Sturmhond said delightedly. He nudged Genya with an elbow. “I told you I’m famous.” Zoya blew out an exasperated breath. “Thank you. He’s going to be twice as insufferable now.

Don’t go,” he said, still half asleep. “I have to bathe. I smell like a forest fire.” “You smell like wildflowers. You always do. What can I say to make you stay?” His words trailed off into a drowsy mumble as he fell back asleep. Tell me it’s more than war and worry that makes you speak those words. Tell me what they would mean if you weren’t a king and I weren’t a soldier.

None of this had been fated; none of it foretold. There had been no prophecies of a demon king or a dragon queen, a one-eyed Tailor, Heartrender twins. They were just the people who had shown up and managed to survive. But maybe that was the trick of it: to survive, to dare to stay alive, to forge your own hope when all hope had run out.

I’ll call it a victory.” “Then enjoy it,” Tolya said, climbing atop his huge gelding. “People only say that when they know it won’t last.” “Of course it won’t last,” said Zoya. “What does?” “True love?” suggested Tamar. “Great art?” said Tolya. “A proper grudge,” replied Zoya

Only he looked to the stars and demanded more.

He'd come to recognize the bizarre phenomenon of Zoya's beauty, the way men loved to create stories around it. They said she was cruel because she'd been harmed in the past. They claimed she was cold because she just hadn't met the right fellow to warm her. Anything to soften the edges and sweeten her disposition--and what was the fun in that? Zoya's company was like strong drink. Bracing--and best to abstain if you couldn't handle the kick.

Stop punishing yourself for being someone with a heart.

I'm fairly sure you're trying to frighten me," said Nikolai, reaching out a finger to touch the tip of the thorn. "I'm not sure why, but may I suggest a spider wearing a suit?" "Why a suit?" asked Zoya, frowning. "Why not just a spider?" "Where did he get the suit? How did he fasten the buttons? Why does he feel the need to dress for the occasion?

Has she at least done it before?" said Kaz. "For this purpose?" asked Sturmhond. "I've seen her do it twice. It worked splendidly. Once".

I think fatigue suits you, Zoya. The pallor. The shadows beneath your eyes. You look like a heroine in a novel. " "I look like a woman about to step on your foot. " "Now, now. You're managing remarkably well. And the smiling hasn't killed you yet." "Yet.

As long as I live, the demon will remain inside you,” said the Darkling as Nikolai used a knife to saw through the ropes at his wrists. “We’ve made our peace.” “Some treaties do not last.” “You do love a dire prophecy, don’t you?” “Zoya will live a very long life,” the Darkling said. “Despite the demon, you may not do the same.” “Then I will love her from my grave.

My king lies bleeding. I am his subject and his soldier, and I come to fight for him.

Do you read novels?" "I read when I have time." "So, no." "I read when I can't sleep." "So, regularly then.

Zoya was surprised to find she liked seeing Alina’s name on churches, liked hearing it spoken in prayers. Ravka had given too much of its love to men like the Darkling, the Apparat, even the Lantsov kings. They owed a little of it to an orphan girl with no dress sense.

If he gets any more charming, men and women may start lying down in the street for the privilege of being stepped on by the new Ravkan King.

She brushed the hair back from his face, placed a kiss on his forehead. "I would stay forever if I could", she whispered.

Zoya stared up at Nina in wonder. “You’re alive,” she said. Her gaze slid to Matthias, thrashing like the biggest, angriest butterfly ever pinned to a page. “And you’ve made a new friend.

Zoya used to say that fear is a phoenix. You can watch it burn a thousand times and still it will return.

If this stains my teeth orange—” said Zoya. “It will,” interrupted Genya, “but I promise to put your teeth back whiter than they were before. I may even fix those weird incisors of yours.” “There is nothing wrong with my teeth.” “Not at all,” said Genya soothingly. “You’re the prettiest walrus I know. I’m just amazed you haven’t sawed through your lower lip.” “Keep your hands off me, Tailor,” Zoya grumbled, “or I’ll poke your other eye out.

You are strong enough to survive the fall. They were plummeting toward the sea. Zoya felt Genya’s arms around her, Liliyana holding her tight. She felt Nikolai’s presence beside her and Juris’ sword in her hands. With a wild, gasping breath, she felt her wings unfurl.

Who would speak for Lilyana, for Genya and Alina and Baghra if she did not? Who will speak for me?

I believe in all kinds of things. Ghosts. Gnomes. True love.

Zoya placed her hands on her hips. “Is anyone going to thank me—or Genya, for that matter—for this little miracle?” “Thank you for nearly killing and then reviving the most valuable hostage in the world so you could use him for your own gain,” Kaz said. “Now you need to go. The streets are almost empty, and you need to get to the manufacturing district.” Zoya’s beautiful blue eyes slitted. “Show your face in Ravka, Brekker. We’ll teach you some manners.” “I’ll keep that in mind. When they burn me on the Reaper’s Barge, I definitely want to be remembered as polite.

I would choose you Zoya. As my general, as my friend, as my bride.

I am Zoya Nazyalensky and I am getting truly sick of the cocktail party in my head, you old lizard.

You should have said yes, she thought for the hundredth time. You should have told him you love him.

From somewhere in the distance, we heard a rolling crack of thunder. "He's coming," moaned one of the Inferni. "Oh, Saints, he's coming." "He'll kill us all," whispered Sergei. "If we're lucky," replied Zoya.

That first winter, when it was time for her friends to leave, the girl ventured out into the show to say goodbye, and the stunning raven-haired Squaller handed her another gift. "A blue kefta," said the math teacher, shaking her head. "What would she do with that?" "Maybe she knew a Grisha who died," replied the cook, taking note of the tears that filled the girl's eyes. They did not see the note that read, You will always be one of us.

Huh,” Zoya said to Adrik. “I’m impressed.” At the elation that burst over his face, she groaned. “Never mind. I’m downgrading that to grudging approval.

Everyone found a justification for themselves, an explanation. I experimented on myself. And basically I found out that the frightening things in life happen quietly and naturally. Zoya

All right,” said Kaz. “Let’s talk in the solarium. I’d prefer not to sweat through my suit.” When the rest of them made to follow, Kaz halted and glanced over his shoulder. “Just me and the privateer.” Zoya tossed her glorious black mane and said, “We are the Triumvirate. We do not take orders from Kerch street rats with dubious haircuts.” “I can phrase it as a question if it will make your feathers lie flat,” Kaz said. “You insolent—” “Zoya,” said Sturmhond smoothly. “Let’s not antagonize our new friends before they’ve even had a chance to cheat us. Lead on, Mister Brekker.

It occurs to me that even though Zoya and I are both still alive, my life is already over. She will be taken from me soon and there will be no reason for me to continue without her. We are one person, you see. We are GeorgyandZoya.

Blessing and curse are different words for the same thing.

I'm sorry we don't visit more often. There's a war on and, well, no one likes you." The Darkling touched a hand to his chest. "You wound me." "All in good time," said Zoya.

What if I say I can't bear to lose you?" A smile tugged at her lips. "I'd say you're a liar. That claims like that belong to romantic ninnies." She raised her hand and let her fingertips trace the line of his beautiful jaw. He closed his eyes. "We would go on, you and I. If I couldn't be queen, you would find a way to win this battle and save this country. You would make a sheltering place for my people. You would march an bleed and crack terrible jokes until you had done all you said you would. I suppose that's why I love you.

I can't do this," Genya whispered. Her face was swollen from crying. Her vibrant hair lay limp down her back. "You don't have to do anything," Zoya said. "Just be here. Stay standing." "Not even that." "I've got you. I won't let you fall.

Because you are strong enough to survive the fall.

I'm not the queen Ravka needs. "And if you're the queen I want?

It's only my loyalty to the king that keeps me from pulling the air from your chest and crushing your lungs like hollow gourds. " "I've seen her do it, " said Nikolai. "Makes a funny sound. " "Kind of a pop? said Tamar. " Wetter, " Nikolai said. "More of a squelch.

They said she was cruel because she’d been harmed in the past. They claimed she was cold because she just hadn’t met the right fellow to warm her. Anything to soften her edges and sweeten her disposition—and what was the fun in that? Zoya’s company was like strong drink. Bracing— and best to abstain if you couldn’t handle the kick.

If he gets any more charming, men and women may start laying down in the street for the privilege of being stepped on by the new Ravkan King. However did you resist him?" "Good question," Mal murmured from beside me. "Turns out I don't care for emeralds," I said. Zoya rolled her eyes. "Or royal blood, blinding charisma, tremendous wealth--" "You can stop now," said Mal.

Only one person can unite this country and bring peace to our nations. Soldier, Summoner, and Saint.

Perhaps you should put me down?” suggested Nina. Reality crashed in on Matthias—the guards’ knowing looks, Zoya and Genya in the doorway, and the fact that in the course of kissing Nina Zenik with a year’s worth of pent-up desire, he had lifted her clear off her feet. A tide of embarrassment flooded through him. What Fjerdan did such a thing? Gently, he released his hold on her magnificent thighs and let her slide to the ground. “Shameless ,” Nina whispered, and he felt his cheeks go red. Zoya rolled her eyes. “We’re making a deal with a pair of love-struck teenagers.

I can’t help but notice,” Alina said. “The too-clever fox gave up his throne, but still managed to stay a king.” “A prince,” Genya corrected. “Prince consort. Or is he your general?” Zoya didn’t really care what title he took. He was hers, and that was all that mattered. Her eye caught on the blueprints she’d found waiting for her on her desk that morning, designs for an extraordinary structure Nikolai had designed to protect her garden. The plans had been bound with her blue velvet ribbon and accompanied by a note that read, I will always seek to make it summer for you. Zoya had been courted by men of wealth and power, offered jewels, palaces, the deed to a diamond mine. This was a different kind of treasure, one she could not believe she’d been lucky enough to find.

Matthias,” Nina said breathlessly, and then they were kissing again. She was sweet as the first rain, lush as new meadows. His hands curled along her back, tracing her shape, the line of her spine, the emphatic flare of her hips. “Matthias ,” she said more insistently, pulling away. He opened his eyes, certain he’d made some horrible mistake. Nina was biting her lower lip—it was pink and swollen. But she was smiling, and her eyes sparkled. “Did I do something wrong?” “Not at all, you glorious babink , but—” Zoya cleared her throat. “I’m glad you two found a way to spend the time while you waited.

I need to go to him,” Genya whispered. “One last time.” She had pulled a notebook from her pocket, the pages held open. It took Zoya a moment to understand what it was. She glimpsed a few words in David’s scrawl: Ideas for compliments—hair (color, texture), smile (causes and effects), talents (tailoring, tonics, sense of style—inquire on “style”), teeth? size of feet? “His journal,” Zoya said. Where David had written down all his little reminders for how to make Genya happy.

As your general, I should tell you that would be a terrible decision." [...] "As your king, I should tell you that no one could dissuade me. No prince and no power could make me stop wanting you. [...] I would give you a crown if I could, I would show you the world from the prow of a ship. I would choose you Zoya. As my general, as my friend, as my bride.

Sometimes, I think one should only live in the present. The past is only a heavy burden to carry with you. And yet… it’s so hard to let them go… to forget… to move ahead…

گلی به زمین افتاده به شاخه بازگشت: وه! یک پروانه!

Come back home with me, Princess." "Why?" "I bought new glasess. And plates. There's nobody there to throw them at me.

True,” said Nikolai. “But they know what you are too, Sankta Zoya.” “Do not call me that.” “It has a nice ring to it,” said Tamar. “Our Lady of Dragonfire?” Suggested Nadia. “Sweet scaly vengeance?” Said Genya. Zoya turned her back on all of them and strode towards the tents. “I’m going to go live in a cave.

But lately it felt hard not to be known, like keeping herself together was all the more difficult without someone to see who she truly was.

I stared at them in disbelief. "You meant to get caught?" "Turns out the easiest way to schedule a meeting is to get arrested.

We're not helpless. Novels are full of ragtag bands facing impossible odds.

She bobbed her chin toward the walls. “Do you see what grows around this place?” Nikolai peered at the twisting gray branches that ran along the perimeter of the garden. “A thorn wood.” An ordinary one, he assumed, not the ancient trees they needed for the obisbaya. “I took the cuttings from the tunnel that leads to the Little Palace. It’s all prickles and spines and anger, covered in pretty, useless blossoms and fruit too bitter to eat. There is nothing in it worth loving.” “How wrong you are.” Zoya’s gaze snapped to his, her eyes flashing silver—dragon’s eyes. “Am I?” “Look at the way it grows, protecting everything within these walls, stronger than anything else in the garden, weathering every season. No matter the winter it endures, it blooms again and again.

Zoya said. “I need Sturmhond to take a message to Ketterdam for me.” “I hear he’s very busy these days.” “I think he’ll appreciate the reward.” He lowered his voice. “If it involves you out of that dress, I have no doubt I can convince him.” “You won’t stop until you’ve created a scandal, will you?” “The demon made me do it.

I am a queen,” Zoya said. “I should be borne aloft on a litter so that my delicate feet never touch the ground.” “I could ask the demon to carry you.” Zoya sniffed. “Thank you, no. The last time you let it out, it tried to bite me.” “I think it was meant affectionately.” “Are you certain?” asked Genya. “Not entirely,” he admitted.

War can make it hard to remember who we are.

She stood with her perfect profile turned to the glittering night sky, her hood sliding back. Snow was beginning to fall, and it caught in the dark waves of her hair. “I plant something new for every Grisha lost. Heartleaf for Marie. Yew for Sergei. Red Sentinel for Fedyor. Even Ivan has a place.” She touched her fingers to a frozen stalk. “This will blossom bright orange in the summer. I planted it for Harshaw. These dahlias were for Nina when I thought she’d been captured and killed by Fjerdans. They bloom with the most ridiculous red flowers in the summer. They’re the size of dinner plates.” Now she turned and he could see tears on her cheeks. She lifted her hands, the gesture half-pleading, half-lost. “I’m running out of room.

None of this had been fated; none of it foretold. There had been no prophecies of a demon king or a dragon queen, a one-eyed Tailor, Heartrender twins. They were just the people who had shown up and managed to survive. But maybe that was the trick of it: to survive, to dare to stay alive, to forge your own hope when all hope had run out. For the survivors then, Zoya whispered to herself as the people before her knelt and chanted her name. And for the lost.

None of that. A full night’s sleep might put you in a good mood, and I need you at your most disgruntled.” “Keep spewing inanities and you may see me at my worst.” “All Saints, are you saying I haven’t seen you at your worst?” Zoya tossed her hair. “If you had, you’d be under the covers, gibbering prayers.” “A unique way of getting me into bed, but who am I to question your methods?

I hope you’re all enjoying yourselves.” Tamar hooked a scarf over Nadia’s neck and drew her in for a kiss. “Oh, for Saints’ sake,” complained Zoya. “Is everyone pairing up now?” Genya snickered. “Take heart. I’ve seen Stigg casting mournful glances your way.” “He’s Fjerdan,” Zoya said. “That’s the only kind of glance he has. And I can arrange my own assignations, thank you very much.

Nikolai winked at her. "If I had anyone but Genya Safin in charge, I might be worried." Zoya rolled her eyes. "She doesn't need your flattery. She already thinks enough of herself." "Let him go on," said Genya. "David never gives me pretty compliments." "Don't I?" asked David. He patted his pocket absently. "I have the list of your good qualities you gave me somewhere." "You see what I endure?

Tell me I’m not seeing what I think I’m seeing,” he said, meager hope in his heart. “What do you think you’re seeing?” asked Tamar. “Mass destruction. Certain doom.” “Not entirely certain,” said Zoya. Nikolai cut her a glance. She’d tied back her black hair with a dark blue ribbon. It was eminently practical, but it had the unfortunate effect of making him want to untie it. “Do I detect optimism in my most pessimistic general?” “Likely doom,” Zoya corrected.

Kirigin cleared his throat. "It's of no matter to me. I just wondered if I should have that cordial she likes waiting. Is Commander Nazalensky well? " "Pretty as a picture and brimming with spite." "She is lovely, isn't she?" said Kirigin dreamily....

I am a soldier, I've been a soldier since I was a child. Would you have a girl who has spent her life down in the trenches of battle wear a crown? Would you have a soldier queen? I am a Squaller, a Grisha. Some of our enemies will call me a witch. And some of our own people will agree. Will you have a Grisha queen? My father's name was Suhm Nabri, and I am his only daughter. Will you have a Suli queen?

You’re the boy Nina tailored to look like Kuwei,” Genya said. “And you want me to try to undo her work?” “Yes,” Wylan said, that one word imbued with a whole world of hope. “But I don’t have anything to bargain with.” Genya rolled her single amber eye. “Why are the Kerch so focused on money?” “Says the woman with a bankrupt country,” murmured Jesper. “What was that?” snapped Zoya. “Nothing,” said Jesper. “Just saying Kerch is a morally bankrupt country.” Zoya looked him up and down as if she was considering tossing him into a pool and boiling him alive. “If you want to waste your time and talent on these wretches, feel free. Saints know there’s room for improvement.” “Zoya—” “I’m going to go find a dark room with a deep pool and try to wash some of this country off.

I relied on him to find answers I couldn’t, to blaze a path when I found myself lost. David saw things no one else did. He saw through the world to the mysteries on the other side. I know that he’s gone on to solve those mysteries.” A faint smile touched Nikolai’s lips. “I can see him in some great library, already lost in his work, head bent to some new problem, making the unknown known. When I enter the laboratory, when I wake in the night with a new idea, I will miss him…” His voice broke. “I miss him now. May the Saints receive him on a brighter shore.” “May the Saints receive him,” the crowd murmured. But David hadn’t believed in Saints. He’d believed in the Small Science. He’d believed in a world ordered by facts and logic. What do you believe? Zoya didn’t know. She believed in Ravka, in her king, in the chance that she could be a part of something better than herself. But maybe she didn’t deserve that. All eyes had turned to Genya now. She was David’s wife, his friend, his compatriot. She was expected to speak. Genya stood straighter, lifted her chin. “I loved him,” she said, her body still trembling as if it had been torn apart and hastily stitched back together. “I loved him and he loved me. When I was … when no one could reach me … he saw me. He…” Genya turned her head to Zoya’s shoulder and sobbed. “I loved him and he loved me.” Was there any greater gift than that? Any more unlikely discovery in this world? “I know,” said Zoya. “He loved you more than anything.” The dragon’s eye had opened and Zoya felt that love, the enormity of what Genya had lost. It was too much to endure knowing she could do nothing to erase that pain

I would give you a crown if I could,” he said. “I would show you the world from the prow of a ship. I would choose you, Zoya. As my general, as my friend, as my bride. I would give you a sapphire the size of an acorn.” He reached into his pocket. “And all I would ask in return is that you wear this damnable ribbon in your hair on our wedding day.” She reached out, her fingers hovering over the coil of blue velvet ribbon resting in his palm. Then she pulled back her hand, cradling her fingers as if they’d been singed. “You will wed a Taban sister who craves a crown,” she said. “Or a wealthy Kerch girl, or maybe a Fjerdan royal. You will have heirs and a future. I’m not the queen Ravka needs.” “And if you’re the queen I want?” She shut her eyes. “There’s a story my aunt told me a very long time ago. I can’t remember all of it, but I remember the way she described the hero: ‘He had a golden spirit.’ I loved those words. I made her read them again and again. When I was a little girl, I thought I had a golden spirit too, that it would light everything it touched, that it would make me beloved like a hero in a story.” She sat up, drew her knees in, wrapped her arms around them as if she could make a shelter of her own body. He wanted to pull her back down beside him and press his mouth to hers. He wanted her to look at him again with possibility in her eyes. “But that’s not who I am. Whatever is inside me is sharp and gray as the thorn wood.” She rose and dusted off her kefta. “I wasn’t born to be a bride. I was made to be a weapon.” Nikolai forced himself to smile. It wasn’t as if he’d offered her a real proposal. They both knew such a thing was impossible. And yet her refusal smarted just as badly as if he’d gotten on his knee and offered her his hand like some kind of besotted fool. It stung. All Saints, it stung. “Well,” he said cheerfully, pushing up onto his elbows and looking up at her with all the wry humor he could muster. “Weapons are good to have around too. Far more useful than brides and less likely to mope about the palace. But if you won’t rule Ravka by my side, what does the future hold, General?” Zoya opened the door to the cargo hold. Light flooded in, gilding her features when she looked back at him. “I’ll fight on beside you. As your general. As your friend. Because whatever my failings, I know this: You are the king Ravka needs.