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Those who unlock your compassion are those to whom you've been assigned.

You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You’re moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into… the Twilight Zone.

Kazi of Brightmist...you are the love I didn't know I needed. You are the hand pulling me through the wilderness, The sun warming my face. You make me stronger, smarter, wiser. You are the compass that makes me a better man. With you by my side, no challenge will be too great. I vow to honor you, Kazi, and do all I can to be worthy of your love. I will never stumble in my devotion to you, and I vow to keep you safe always. My family is now your family, and your family, mine. You have not stolen my heart, but I give it freely, And in the presence of these witnesses, I take you to be my wife." He squeezed my hand. His brown eyes danced, just as they had the first time he spoke those vows to me. It was my turn now. I took a deep breath. Were any words enough? But I said the ones closest to my heart, the ones I had said in the wilderness and repeated almost daily when I lay in a dark cell, uncertain where he was but needing to believe I would see him again. "I love you, Jase Ballenger, and I will for all my days. You have brought me fullness where there was only hunger, You have given me a universe of stars and stories, Where there was emptiness. You've unlocked a part of me I was afraid to believe in, And made the magic of wish stalks come true. I vow to care for you, to protect you and everything that is yours. Your home is now my home, your family, my family. I will stand by you as a partner in all things. With you by my side, I will never lack for joy. I know life is full of twists and turns, and sometimes loss, but whatever paths we go down, I want every step to be with you. I want to grow old with you, Jase. Every one of my tomorrows is yours, And in the presence of these witnesses, I take you to be my husband.

Raise your hand if you've asked yourself, How much more do I have to do before I've done enough? How much of myself do I have to give? How smoothly do I have to polish myself before I can move through the world without friction?

We assume success is about being famous, rich and owning expensive things. But if you’ve pulled yourself out of a dark place, that’s a great success in itself. Don’t forget that you’re winning each day you don’t give up and you make it through to the next.

Nietzsche (ugh) told us, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." You've been hearing this for years, in one form or another, but let's be specific. Like, if you're hit by a car and don't die, does the car make you stronger? No. Does injury or disease make you stronger? No. Does suffering alone build character? No. These things leave you more vulnerable to further injury. What makes you stronger is whatever happens to you after you survive the thing that didn't kill you. What makes you stronger is rest.

REGARDLESS OF WHY YOU’VE MADE BITTERNESS AND HATRED YOUR BEST FRIENDS, IF YOU CARRY THEM AROUND LONG ENOUGH, THEY WILL EVENTUALLY EAT YOU FROM THE INSIDE OUT.

We assume success is about being famous, rich and owning expensive things. But if you’ve pulled yourself out of a dark place, that’s a great success in itself. Don’t forget that you’re winning each day you don’t give up and you make it through to the next.

You've managed to unlock the door to the library - now it's time to learn how to read.

Every financial challenge holds the key to a lesson—unlock it, and you grow in both wealth and wisdom.

What frightens you? What makes the hair on your arms rise, your palms sweat, the breath catch in your chest like a wild thing caged? Is it the dark? A fleeting memory of a bedtime story, ghosts and goblins and witches hiding in the shadows? Is it the way the wind picks up just before a storm, the hint of wet in the air that makes you want to scurry home to the safety of your fire? Or is it something deeper, something much more frightening, a monster deep inside that you've glimpsed only in pieces, the vast unknown of your own soul where secrets gather with a terrible power, the dark inside? If you will listen I will tell you a story-one whose ghost cannot be banished by the comfort of a roaring fire, I will tell you the story of how we found ourselves in a realm where dreams are formed, destiny is chosen, and magic is as real as your handprint in the snow. I will tell you how we unlocked the Pandora's box of ourselves, tasted freedom, stained our souls with blood and choice, and unleashed a horror on the world that destroyed its dearest Order. These pages are a confession of all that has led to this cold, gray dawn. What will be now, I cannot say. Is your heart beating faster? Do the clouds seem to be gathering on the horizons? Does the skin on your neck feel stretched tight, waiting for a kiss you both fear and need? Will you be scared? Will you know the truth? Mary Dowd, April 7, 1871

Life is funny. I'd applied to the wrong graduate program, but that eventually led me to the right grad program. I'd taken what I thought was the wrong undergraduate major, and that was the thing that set me apart and allowed me to find my niche. I don't know if there are any lessons to take from that except to realize that the things you think are mistakes may turn out not to be mistakes. I realized wherever you are, if you make the most of what you've got, you can find a way to keep moving forward.

The goal is something like personal sustainability. I hate to use that word, but it's the one that makes the most sense. Eat what you can eat without getting fat. It's easy to do that once you've unlocked the secrets of how your body uses what you put into it.

And the resource abundance of the environment you’re in changes how you decide to quit or stay. In a resource-rich environment, people actually quit and move on to the next opportunity sooner, because the risk of the move is lower. It’s easier to change jobs when you’ve got four offers. It’s easier to leave a bad relationship when you can go straight to a loving relationship with someone else.

I think that the process of giving your true love to someone, mainly surrounds the act of opening a door inside that's all locked up. Behind that door lives the small child that is the real you. The small child who hurts too much and feels too much and laughs too loud and always believes... true love involves unlocking the many padlocks on that door, taking her by the hand, and guiding her to the arms of the one you've chosen to love. And I think this is why some people change forever... because they loved someone in this way, but it only hurt too much. The little one was wounded. So this is why you take her back and tell her she's better off staying inside. It is a poetic, lyrical tragedy. Some people die this way, before they ever are dead. Or maybe we don't die; maybe we live on, behind that door.

Right now, your company gets the results—good or bad—that it was designed to get. If your vision of the future differs from your current situation, if you want to get better results, then you must change the way you do things. If you don’t, how can you expect results that are any different from what you’ve already achieved?

when you’ve already lost a parent, it’s not easy to watch the living one age. i try never to take our time for granted, but what i’ve sometimes failed to realize is that living in fear of what the future will bring is a way of taking our time for granted, albeit unintentionally. i try to remember that i’m a being of the here & now—not the future days, & sure as hell not the ones of the past. i need to live here, within every single delicate moment we’ve been so graciously gifted. —that’s what i try to do, even if i’m imperfect at it.

Happiness is not about getting what you want--it is about wanting what you've got.

You’ve unlocked something inside me I thought I killed off.

...the very act of empowerment can be as subtle as a kind word, a look which says, ‘you’ve got this,’ an example that shows what’s possible.

Education is the key; only when you've got the MASTER key to unlock all the locks!

/A weekend toward the end of September, the bell above the door rang and there he was in the shop. Same old feeling in my guts. I’ll go if you want me to, he said. I smiled, I was so fucking happy to see him. You’ve only just got here, you twat, I said. Now give us a hand with this, and he took the other end of the trestle table and moved it over to the wall. Pub? I said. He grinned. And before I could say anything else he put his arms around me. And everything he couldn’t say in our room in France was said in that moment. I know, I said. I know. I’d already accepted I wasn’t the key to unlock him. She’d come later. It took a while to acknowledge the repercussions of that time. How the numbness in my fingertips traveled to my heart and I never even knew it. I had crushes, I had lovers, I had orgasms. My trilogy of desire, I liked to call it, but I’d no great love after him, not really. Love and sex became separated by a wide river and one the ferryman refused to cross. The psychiatrist liked that analogy. I watched him write it down. Chuckle, chuckle, his pen across the page.

Inadequate sleep impairs brain functioning, including working memory and long-term memory, attention, decision-making, hand-eye coordination, calculation accuracy, logical reasoning, and creativity.20 People who’ve been awake for nineteen hours (say, woke up at 7 A.M. and now it’s 2 A.M.) are as impaired in their cognitive and motor functioning as a person who is legally intoxicated.21 People who’ve slept just four hours the previous night are similarly impaired, as are those who’ve slept six or fewer hours every night for the last two weeks. Anything you wouldn’t do drunk—drive, lead a work meeting, raise a child—don’t try it if you’ve been awake for nineteen hours, slept only four hours the previous night, or slept fewer than six hours every night for two weeks.

Maybe you’ve had one of those moments when you realized the awful truth: you’re just trying to survive, running out the clock, hoping someday something magical will happen that changes everything for you.

Join the PKM community. On Twitter, LinkedIn, Substack, Medium, or your platform(s) of choice, follow and subscribe to thought leaders and join communities who are creating content related to personal knowledge management (#PKM), #SecondBrain, #BASB, or #toolsforthought. Share your top takeaways from this book or anything else you’ve realized or discovered. There’s nothing more effective for adopting new behaviors than surrounding yourself with people who already have them.

Imagine trying it. Let your madwoman put down the whip. The next thing that happens is that those wounds you’ve been inflicting and reopening for years…finally begin to heal. And here’s a fact about healing that most self-help gurus are not honest about: Healing hurts.

DAD—LEX KEEPS LOOKING OUT MY WINDOW!” “IT’S NOT YOUR WINDOW!” “YES, IT IS—I’M STANDING IN FRONT OF IT!” “SO AM I!” “NOW YOU’RE NOT!” “DAD—REX SHOVED ME INTO BEX. AND SHE SMELLS LIKE ROTTING FLOWERS!” “YEAH, WELL, YOU SMELL LIKE YOU’VE BEEN ROLLING IN POOP!” “HE WAS!” “NO, I WASN’T!” “OW, DON’T POKE ME!

Your purpose needs to be the most important mission of your life. If you’re not walking in your purpose, you’re just working and living to die,” said Nicole Lynn, the first female agent to represent a top NFL agency, when she chatted with me on my podcast. “You’ve got to figure out what that purpose and calling is.

Writing will show you the stories you’ve made up about your life. It will show you how those narratives are just that - made up. And it will help you change the narratives so you can change the outcome. Writing helps us step outside of our stories and see them differently. It helps us reclaim our stories for ourselves again.

You start to grow up and you learn from all the stories around you what the world is like, and yous tart to lose freedoms. Not because anybody actually tells you that you've lost them, but because you know you need to take care...Beware darkness, isolation, the outdoors, unlocked windows, men you don't know. And then you realize too that even men you know, or thought you knew, might not be okay.

And it’s a new kind of pain; it can’t be managed by the same strategies you’ve been using to manage the pain of the whip. You were good at managing that old kind of pain, and now you have to learn a whole new way to deal with this whole new kind of pain. As one client of “compassionate mind therapy” put it, if they started practicing self-compassion, they “would open up a well of unbearable sadness.”13

Don't be afraid to start over. This time, you're not starting from scratch; you're starting from experience. It's like a video game—you’ve already unlocked some levels & collected the cheat codes. You’ve got the wisdom, the know-how, and the battle scars to guide you. Embrace the fresh start with a grin, knowing you’re smarter and stronger than before. Starting over isn’t a setback—it’s a chance to play the game with insider knowledge. So go ahead, hit reset and show life who's boss!

Out of all the cells you've been in, your first cell is a very special one, the place where you first encountered others like yourself, doomed to the same fate ... I had been dueling for four days with the interrogator, when the jailer, having waited until I lay down to sleep in the blindingly lit box, began to unlock my door ... I wanted to lie for another three-hundredths of a second with my head on the pillow and pretend I was sleeping. But ... the guard ordered: 'Get up! Pick up your bedding!' ... [B]y the time I arrived, the inhabitants of Cell 67 were already asleep on their metal cots with their hands on top of the blankets. At the sound of the door opening, all three started and raised their heads for an instant ... And those three lifted heads, those three unshaven, crumpled pale faces, seemed to me so human, so dear, that I stood there, hugging my mattress, and smiled with happiness. And they smiled. And what a forgotten look that was - after only one week! 'Are you from freedom?' they asked me.

Inertia: Inertia means giving in to old habits and conditioning. Whatever the cause of depression, anxiety, trauma, insecurity, or grief, these states linger if you take a passive attitude. “That’s just how things are” is the motto of inertia. Become aware of how doing nothing is actually the way you’ve trained yourself to keep things the same. Do you sit and dwell on your suffering? Do you reject helpful advice before even considering it? Do you know the difference between griping and genuinely airing your feelings with the intention of healing them? Examine the routine of your suffering and break out of it.

Minutes after Eve stepped into her office to coordinate her next move, Peabody rushed in. “I’ve got the initial sweeper’s report on the room the Lombards vacated—nothing,” Peabody said hurriedly. “Canvassing cops found the bar—one block east, two south of the hotel. Door was unlocked. Zana’s purse was inside on the floor. I have a team heading there now.” “You’ve been busy,” Eve said. “How did you manage to fit in sex?” “Sex? I don’t know what you’re talking about. I bet you want coffee.” She darted to the AutoChef, then whirled back. “How do you know I had sex? Do you have sex radar?” “Your shirt’s not buttoned right, and you’ve got a fresh hickey on your neck.” “Damn it.” Peabody slapped a hand to the side of her neck. “How bad is it? Why don’t you have a mirror in here?” “Because, let’s see, could it be because it’s an office?

Now that you've taken charge of me, milady, what's your next command?" The question was casual, with a hint of friendly teasing. But she was stunned by the reservoir of feeling he'd unlocked in her, so vast she was drowning in it. A feeling of pure longing. And until this moment, she'd never even known it was there. She tried to think of some clever reply. But the only thing her mind could summon was something impulsive and silly. Kiss me. She would never say something so brazen, of course. It would appear desperate or mad, and it would embarrass both of them. And for a business owner to behave in such an unprofessional manner with a customer- well, that didn't bear thinking of. But as Merritt saw his blank expression, a horrid realization made something inside her plunge. "Oh, God," she said faintly, her fingers flying to her mouth. "Did I say that out loud?

Kazi of Brightmist...you are the love I didn't know I needed. You are the hand pulling me through the wilderness, The sun warming my face. You make me stronger, smarter, wiser. You are the compass that makes me a better man. With you by my side, no challenge will be too great. I vow to honor you, Kazi, and do all I can to be worthy of your love. I will never stumble in my devotion to you, and I vow to keep you safe always. My family is now your family, and your family, mine. You have not stolen my heart, but I give it freely, And in the presence of these witnesses, I take you to be my wife." He squeezed my hand. His brown eyes danced, just as they had the first time he spoke those vows to me. It was my turn now. I took a deep breath. Were any words enough? But I said the ones closest to my heart, the ones I had said in the wilderness and repeated almost daily when I lay in a dark cell, uncertain where he was but needing to believe I would see him again. "I love you, Jase Ballenger, and I will for all my days. You have brought me fullness where there was only hunger, You have given me a universe of stars and stories, Where there was emptiness. You've unlocked a part of me I was afraid to believe in, And made the magic of wish stalks come true. I vow to care for you, to protect you and everything that is yours. Your home is now my home, your family, my family. I will stand by you as a partner in all things. With you by my side, I will never lack for joy. I know life is full of twists and turns, and sometimes loss, but whatever paths we go down, I want every step to be with you. I want to grow old with you, Jase. Every one of my tomorrows is yours, And in the presence of these witnesses, I take you to be my husband.

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There are so many ways a plan can go wrong, some of which you can control and some of which you can’t, all of which will frustrate your Monitor.1 For example, imagine you’re working toward a simple goal: driving to the mall. And you know it usually takes about, say, twenty minutes. If you’re getting all green lights and you’re zipping right along, that feels nice, right? You’re making progress more quickly and easily than your Monitor expects, and that feels great. Less effort, more progress: satisfied Monitor. But suppose you get stuck at a traffic light because someone isn’t paying attention. You feel a little annoyed and frustrated, and maybe you try to get around that jerk before the next light. But once you’ve hit one red light, you end up stuck at every traffic light, and with each stop, your frustration burns a little hotter. It’s already been twenty minutes, and you’re only halfway to the mall. “Annoyed and frustrated” escalates to “pissed off.” Then you get on the highway, and there’s an accident! While ambulances and police come and go, you sit there, parked on the highway for forty minutes, fuming and boiling and swearing never to go to the mall ever again. High investment, little progress: ragey Monitor.

Later in the evening, Devon and West had dinner in the dilapidated splendor of the dining room. The meal was of far better quality than they had expected, consisting of cold cucumber soup, roast pheasant dressed with oranges, and puddings rolled in sweetened bread crumbs. “I made the house steward unlock the cellar so I could browse over the wine collection,” West remarked. “It’s gloriously well provisioned. Among the spoils, there are at least ten varieties of important champagne, twenty cabernets, at least that many of bordeaux, and a large quantity of French brandy.” “Perhaps if I drink enough of it,” Devon said, “I won’t notice the house falling down around our ears.” “There are no obvious signs of weakness in the foundation. No walls out of plumb, for example, nor any visible cracks in the exterior stone that I’ve seen so far.” Devon glanced at him with mild surprise. “For a man who’s seldom more than half sober, you’ve noticed a great deal.” “Have I?” West looked perturbed. “Forgive me--I seem to have become accidentally lucid.” He reached for his wineglass. “Eversby Priory is one of the finest sporting estates in England. Perhaps we should shoot grouse tomorrow.” “Splendid,” Devon said. “I would enjoy beginning the day with killing something.

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Blood pressure check!” The doorknob rattled, as if the nurse were intending just to walk in, but the lock held, thank God. The nurse knocked again. “Oh, shit,” Gina breathed, laughing as she scrambled off of him. She reached to remove the condom they’d just used, encountered . . . him, and met his eyes. But then she scooped her clothes off the floor and ran into the bathroom. “Mr. Bhagat?” The nurse knocked on the door again. Even louder this time. “Are you all right?” Oh, shit, indeed. “Come in,” Max called as he pulled up the blanket and leaned on the button that put his bed back up into a sitting position. The same control device had a “call nurse” button as well as the clearly marked one that would unlock the door. “It’s locked,” the nurse called back, as well he knew. “Oh, I’m sorry,” he said, as he wiped off his face with the edge of the sheet. Sweat much in bed, all alone, Mr. Bhagat? “I must’ve . . . Here, let me figure out how to . . .” He took an extra second to smooth his hair, his pajama top, and then, praying that the nurse had a cold and couldn’t smell the scent of sex that lingered in the air, he hit the release. “Please don’t lock your door during the day,” the woman scolded him as she came into the room, around to the side of his bed. It was Debra Forsythe, a woman around his age, whom Max had met briefly at his check-in. She had been on her way home to deal with some crisis with her kids, and hadn’t been happy then, either. “And not at night either,” she added, “until you’ve been here a few days.” “Sorry.” He gave her an apologetic smile, hanging on to it as the woman gazed at him through narrowed eyes. She didn’t say anything, she just wrapped the blood pressure cuff around his arm, and pumped it a little too full of air—ow—as Gina opened the bathroom door. “Did I hear someone at the door?” she asked brightly. “Oh, hi. Debbie, right?” “Debra.” She glanced at Gina, and then back, her disgust for Max apparent in the tightness of her lips. But then she focused on the gauge, stethoscope to his arm. Gina came out into the room, crossing around behind the nurse, making a face at him that meant . . .? Max sent her a questioning look, and she flashed him. She just lifted her skirt and gave him a quick but total eyeful. Which meant . . . Ah, Christ. The nurse turned to glare at Gina, who quickly straightened up from searching the floor. What was it with him and missing underwear? Gina smiled sweetly. “His blood pressure should be nice and low. He’s very relaxed—he just had a massage.” “You know, I didn’t peg you for a troublemaker when you checked in yesterday,” Debra said to Max, as she wrote his numbers on the chart. Gina was back to scanning the floor, but again, she straightened up innocently when the nurse turned toward her. “I think you’re probably looking for this.” Debra leaned over and . . . Gina’s panties dangled off the edge of her pen. They’d been on the floor, right at the woman’s sensibly clad feet. “Oops,” Gina said. Max could tell that she was mortified, but only because he knew her so well. She forced an even sunnier smile, and attempted to explain. “It was just . . . he was in the hospital for so long and . . .” “And men have needs,” Debra droned, clearly unmoved. “Believe me, I’ve heard it all before.” “No, actually,” Gina said, still trying to turn this into something they could all laugh about, “I have needs.” But it was obvious that this nurse hadn’t laughed since 1985. “Then maybe you should find someone your own age to play with. A professional hockey player just arrived. He’s in the east wing. Second floor.” She lowered her voice conspiratorially. “Lots of money. Just your type, I’m sure.” “Excuse me?” Gina wasn’t going to let one go past. She may not have been wearing any panties, but her Long Island attitude now waved around her like a superhero’s cape. She even assumed the battle position, hands on her hips.

Take the famous slogan on the atheist bus in London … “There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.” … The word that offends against realism here is “enjoy.” I’m sorry—enjoy your life? Enjoy your life? I’m not making some kind of neo-puritan objection to enjoyment. Enjoyment is lovely. Enjoyment is great. The more enjoyment the better. But enjoyment is one emotion … Only sometimes, when you’re being lucky, will you stand in a relationship to what’s happening to you where you’ll gaze at it with warm, approving satisfaction. The rest of the time, you’ll be busy feeling hope, boredom, curiosity, anxiety, irritation, fear, joy, bewilderment, hate, tenderness, despair, relief, exhaustion … This really is a bizarre category error. But not necessarily an innocent one … The implication of the bus slogan is that enjoyment would be your natural state if you weren’t being “worried” by us believer … Take away the malignant threat of God-talk, and you would revert to continuous pleasure, under cloudless skies. What’s so wrong with this, apart from it being total bollocks? … Suppose, as the atheist bus goes by, that you are the fifty-something woman with the Tesco bags, trudging home to find out whether your dementing lover has smeared the walls of the flat with her own shit again. Yesterday when she did it, you hit her, and she mewled till her face was a mess of tears and mucus which you also had to clean up. The only thing that would ease the weight on your heart would be to tell the funniest, sharpest-tongued person you know about it: but that person no longer inhabits the creature who will meet you when you unlock the door. Respite care would help, but nothing will restore your sweetheart, your true love, your darling, your joy. Or suppose you’re that boy in the wheelchair, the one with the spasming corkscrew limbs and the funny-looking head. You’ve never been able to talk, but one of your hands has been enough under your control to tap out messages. Now the electrical storm in your nervous system is spreading there too, and your fingers tap more errors than readable words. Soon your narrow channel to the world will close altogether, and you’ll be left all alone in the hulk of your body. Research into the genetics of your disease may abolish it altogether in later generations, but it won’t rescue you. Or suppose you’re that skanky-looking woman in the doorway, the one with the rat’s nest of dreadlocks. Two days ago you skedaddled from rehab. The first couple of hits were great: your tolerance had gone right down, over two weeks of abstinence and square meals, and the rush of bliss was the way it used to be when you began. But now you’re back in the grind, and the news is trickling through you that you’ve fucked up big time. Always before you’ve had this story you tell yourself about getting clean, but now you see it isn’t true, now you know you haven’t the strength. Social services will be keeping your little boy. And in about half an hour you’ll be giving someone a blowjob for a fiver behind the bus station. Better drugs policy might help, but it won’t ease the need, and the shame over the need, and the need to wipe away the shame. So when the atheist bus comes by, and tells you that there’s probably no God so you should stop worrying and enjoy your life, the slogan is not just bitterly inappropriate in mood. What it means, if it’s true, is that anyone who isn’t enjoying themselves is entirely on their own. The three of you are, for instance; you’re all three locked in your unshareable situations, banged up for good in cells no other human being can enter. What the atheist bus says is: there’s no help coming … But let’s be clear about the emotional logic of the bus’s message. It amounts to a denial of hope or consolation, on any but the most chirpy, squeaky, bubble-gummy reading of the human situation. St Augustine called this kind of thing “cruel optimism” fifteen hundred years ago, and it’s still cruel.

CHANGING YOUR LIFE TO ACCOMMODATE THE SIXTH SECRET The sixth secret is about the choiceless life. Since we all take our choices very seriously, adopting this new attitude requires a major shift. Today, you can begin with a simple exercise. Sit down for a few minutes and reassess some of the important choices you’ve made over the years. Take a piece of paper and make two columns labeled “Good Choice” and “Bad Choice.” Under each column, list at least five choices relating to those moments you consider the most memorable and decisive in your life so far—you’ll probably start with turning points shared by most people (the serious relationship that collapsed, the job you turned down or didn’t get, the decision to pick one profession or another), but be sure to include private choices that no one knows about except you (the fight you walked away from, the person you were too afraid to confront, the courageous moment when you overcame a deep fear). Once you have your list, think of at least one good thing that came out of the bad choices and one bad thing that came out of the good choices. This is an exercise in breaking down labels, getting more in touch with how flexible reality really is. If you pay attention, you may be able to see that not one but many good things came from your bad decisions while many bad ones are tangled up in your good decisions. For example, you might have a wonderful job but wound up in a terrible relationship at work or crashed your car while commuting. You might love being a mother but know that it has drastically curtailed your personal freedom. You may be single and very happy at how much you’ve grown on your own, yet you have also missed the growth that comes from being married to someone you deeply love. No single decision you ever made has led in a straight line to where you find yourself now. You peeked down some roads and took a few steps before turning back. You followed some roads that came to a dead end and others that got lost at too many intersections. Ultimately, all roads are connected to all other roads. So break out of the mindset that your life consists of good and bad choices that set your destiny on an unswerving course. Your life is the product of your awareness. Every choice follows from that, and so does every step of growth.

Pokémon with a blue glow surrounding it in your menu simply indicates that you have caught this Pokémon in the last 24 hours. If you tap on a Pokémon, you can check its name, HP below the Pokémon, CP above the Pokémon, various traits, different attacks and the location and date you caught this particular Pokémon. You can rename your Pokémon by tapping the pencil next to its name.   You may also want to give your Pokémon a power up to boost its maximum health and CP, and thus making your Pokémon more powerful. This will cost you Stardust and Pokémon candy. If you wish to get rid of a Pokémon, you will want to tap the “Transfer” button in order to transfer your Pokémon to the Professor. Note that once you transfer a Pokémon to the Professor, this Pokémon will be lost forever and cannot be retrieved.   The last category features your items. In your items you will find all the items with their quantities you currently own. Pressing the trash allows you to toss an item if you wish to do so. Your maximum capacity is 350 items, but you can buy an upgrade in the Shop if you wish to expand your capacity.   An additional feature of the main menu is the Settings panel, which you will find in the upper right of your screen. If you open up the Settings, you can toggle the Music, Sound Effects, Vibration and Battery Saver. You may also revisit Professor Willow if you missed any of his speeches using the Quick Start option. Another feature is being able to sign out. This could be useful in case you wish to log in via another account. You can check the version of the application in the Settings too.   Toggling the Battery Save option will allow you to enter the Battery Save state. To enter this state simply tick the box and hold your device upside down. Your device will enter a battery saving state, indicated by a dark screen featuring the Pokémon Go logo, until held in its authentic state again. This feature is especially useful when your device is below 5% of its battery life. To utilize the remaining battery life to the fullest extent, simply hold your device upside down and put your device where it’s most comfortable for you. Mind that you may want to have your device in a position where you can still notice vibration, because whenever a Pokémon approaches you, your device will notify you through vibration, if you’ve enabled vibration in the Settings. Whenever your device vibrates, you can turn around your device with ease to continue playing without having to unlock your device. Note that you will not be notified when passing a gym or PokéStop.   The

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James unlocked the door. “But maybe you’ve watched enough video feeds this week. All that staring at the monitor and such can’t be good for the brain, you know.” Even though she could tell Mr. James wasn’t happy, he was smiling. It was pained, but it was a smile. Serena picked up her book bag. “Look

First, you make sure you’re clear on what you need to address. Then, you determine that you have all the facts in front of you. Next, you make sure you’re dealing with the issue with a positive perspective. Then, you get real about the challenges you’re facing, and allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling about it. After this, you allow yourself to attack the problem from perspectives you might not have considered before, letting your imagination run free. And then you circle back to make sure you’ve addressed what you set out to address during this session

When you complete a major quest and return home, do take a few moments to celebrate with friends and family, or simply celebrate alone with your thoughts. If there’s a chance to capture a memento or stick your achievement on the wall, go for it. You’ve earned it, and you should be proud of your accomplishments. However, after a little while it’s time to grab the sword, don your cape once again, and set out on another adventure. If your life is a movie, then you just got green-lit for a sequel with an even bigger budget.

you’re going to find yourself in a flow state, eliminating distractions is absolutely essential. It can take you up to 20 minutes to reconnect with what you’re doing after you’ve been distracted from doing it.

If you have lots of outside stressors in your life—deadlines, relationship issues, family problems, worries about your job security, etc.—they’re likely to sneak up on you at any given moment. I’m sure you’ve had the experience of thinking about something entirely different when you’re suddenly ambushed by an anxious reminder that you’re facing some troubles at home. Once that thought is in your head, any opportunities for flow are crushed. Defeating this supervillain requires two expert moves. The first is to look the supervillain in the eye before you start and ask yourself if there’s anything that you absolutely must deal with before you can get into flow. If the answer is yes, address that first. But in all likelihood, the answer will be no. It isn’t that the stressors aren’t real, but they often don’t need your immediate attention, and they aren’t going to be worse two hours from now. If that’s the case, contend with this supervillain by putting up your force field. Make your space impenetrable by outside stressors so you can concentrate completely on the task at hand.

The De Bono approach to problem-solving is an ingenious and elegantly organized method for getting the most from your thinking. At its core, it is a neatly defined way of looking at an issue from all sides. First, you make sure you’re clear on what you need to address. Then, you determine that you have all the facts in front of you. Next, you make sure you’re dealing with the issue with a positive perspective. Then, you get real about the challenges you’re facing, and allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling about it. After this, you allow yourself to attack the problem from perspectives you might not have considered before, letting your imagination run free. And then you circle back to make sure you’ve addressed what you set out to address during this session.

You need to tie your shoe; your brain is automating the solution to that problem. That’s what a habit is. It’s the solution to a recurring problem that you face throughout life, one that you’ve employed so many times that you can do it without thinking. If the solution doesn’t work anymore, then your brain will update it.

I never would have been able to deliver that particular keynote if I hadn’t been a quick study. And just like the other skills we’ve been addressing here, this isn’t an ability you either do or don’t have. Instead, it’s an ability you’ve either cultivated or haven’t. You can learn how to unlimit your studies.

if you feel that something you’ve learned is valuable in the moment, but that you’ll never use it again, you are unlikely to create a memory of it.

A Tidy and Organized Home… Makes you feel calm. You can relax and unwind in a tidy home. There is space to do things, and you know where everything is. When you walk into a hotel room, you immediately feel a sense of peace because the environment is tidy and organized. Makes you feel healthy. Dust and mold accumulate in messes. Are you always coughing and sneezing? Do you suffer from allergies? It’s probably because you are breathing in all the dirt in your home. Give your home a spring clean and your health issues will improve. Makes you feel in control. How does it feel when you know where everything is? Clutter prevents positive energy from flowing through your home. Remember, energy attaches itself to objects, and negative energy is attracted to mess, which creates exhaustion, stagnation, and exasperation. What does it feel like when negative energy is stuck in your body? You want to lie in bed and shut the world away because everything becomes more difficult and you can’t explain why. Here is how decluttering your house will unlock blocked streams of positive energy: You will become more vibrant. Once you create harmony and order in your home, you will feel more radiant and present. Like acupuncture, which removes imbalances and blockages from the body to create more wellness and dynamism, clearing clutter removes imbalances and blockages from your personal space. When you venture through spaces that have been set ablaze with fresh energy, you are captured by inspiration, and the most attractive parts of your personality come to life. You will get rid of bad habits and introduce good ones. All bad habits have triggers. Do you lie on your bed to watch TV instead of sitting on the couch because you can’t be bothered to fold the laundry that has piled up over the past six months? Or because the bed represents sleep, and when you come home from work and get into bed, you are going to fall asleep instead of doing those important tasks on your to-do list. Once you tidy the couch, coming home from work will allow you to sit on it to watch your favorite TV program but get up once it’s finished and do what you need to do. You will improve your problem-solving skills. When your home has been opened up with a clear space, it’s easier to focus, which provides you with a fresh perspective on your problems. You will sleep better. Are you always tired no matter how much sleep you get? That’s because negative energy is stuck under your bed amongst all that junk you’ve stuffed under there. Once you tidy up your bedroom, you will find that positive energy can flow freely around your room making it easier for you to have a deep and restful sleep. You will have more time. Mess delays you. An untidy house means you are always losing things. You can’t find a shoe, a sock, or your keys, so you waste time searching for them, which makes you late for work or social gatherings. When you declutter your home, you could save about an hour a day because you will no longer need to dig through a stack of items to find things. Your intuition will be stronger. A clear space creates a sense of certainty and clarity. You know where everything is, so you have peace of mind. When you have peace of mind, you can focus on being in the present moment. When you need to make important decisions, you will find it easier to do so. It might take some time to give your home a deep clean, but you won’t be sorry for it once it’s done. Chapter 5: How To Become an Assertive Empath The word assertive means “having or showing a confident and forceful personality.

The fundamental difficulty of creative work is that we are often too close to it to see it objectively. Getting feedback is really about borrowing someone else’s eyes to see what only a novice can see. It’s about stepping outside your subjective point of view and noticing what’s missing from what you’ve made.

The idea of dividing our work into smaller units isn’t new. You’ve probably heard this advice a hundred times: if you’re stuck on a task, break it down into smaller steps. Every profession and creative medium has its own version of “intermediate steps” on the way to full-fledged final works. For example: “Modules” in software development “Betas” tested by start-ups “Sketches” in architecture “Pilots” for television series “Prototypes” made by engineers “Concept cars” in auto design “Demos” in music recording

you are much more likely to remember information you’ve written down in your own words. Known as the “Generation Effect,”10 researchers have found that when people actively generate a series of words, such as by speaking or writing, more parts of their brain are activated when compared to simply reading the same words. Writing things down is a way of “rehearsing” those ideas, like practicing a dance routine or shooting hoops, which makes them far more likely to stick.

After submitting to God, the second key is to resist the Enemy by closing any doors in your life that give him access. If you leave your doors and windows open and unlocked in your home, you might as well extend an invitation for others to rob you. Burglars don’t need to break in because you’ve made it easy for them. Similarly, don’t leave yourself open to the dark thief.

You can design your hour of power (or 35 minutes or 45 minutes) to be what you need to perform at your best. With your hour of power, you can start your day strong, organized, and tracking toward your goals, starting by reconnecting to what matters most.  Here are some things you can schedule in your Hour of Power: • Goal Review: Review the goals that you’ve set for yourself and reconnect to what it feels like to have achieved that goal. Cover the delta between where you are now and where you need to be to achieve your goals.

Men are seeking a divinity to serve and adore. But the reality is, most women are so disconnected from their sensual feminine self that, as men, the only option we now have is to turn inwards to our own anima, or turn to other men for sensual feminine affection. A lot of men are becoming accustomed to embracing romance from the same sex, others opted to having sex with ANY woman they can get to console themselves. Problem is, we are living in a generation of women that are constantly protesting “Accept me for who I am!” IN THEIR MASCULINE ENERGY. They don’t know what it truly means to be a woman. But there’s a new breed of men that are awakened and of high quality in every respect of the word, and they’re not willing to settle for any woman that simply wants to be accepted for who she is. They want a woman who wants to be challenged for growth purposes. “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” ~Anaïs Nin Listen ladies, you have not yet fully become a woman if no man is seeking to serve and adore you. Now, understand the meaning of ‘serve and adore’. This means that a man has to NOT want to see you struggle in any way, shape or form that he can change for the better. So, if you’re still struggling in ANY way that a man can change for the better for you as a female, then you have not yet become a full grown WOMAN. The ultimate sign that you’ve become a full grown woman is when you are constantly being served and adored, especially by an emotionally healthy masculine man, without you having to ask. So tell me, are you a woman yet? "One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman." ~Simone de Beauvoir Too bad that so many of you are so hellbent on fighting to be ‘yourselves’ (masculine selves), yet that very ‘self’ isn’t serving you like you need to be served. For many of you, fighting to be ‘yourselves’ is, for the most part, fighting to be independent of the masculine and of your divine purpose which is to be a WOMAN. It’s easier to be disagreeable than it is to surrender to your true calling. A lot of women are just fighting to be a nonentity and they don’t even know it. They resent the divine masculine with passion, not realizing that it is the ultimate key to fully unlocking their WOMANHOOD.

Should you have children, you’ve probably seen the same phenomenon when you check in on them late at night: arms and legs dangling out of the bed in amusing (and endearing) ways, so different from the neatly positioned limbs you placed beneath the sheets upon first tucking them into bed. The limb rebellion aids in keeping the body core cool, allowing it to fall and stay asleep.

I know you’re scared.” Everyone turns back to me. “I’m scared, too. But I know your reason for fighting is stronger than your fear, because it’s led you here. Each of us had been wronged by the guards, by this monarchy that’s sworn to protect us. Today we strike back for us all. Today we make them pay!” The shouts of agreement ring through the air; even the mercenaries join in. Their cries bolster my spirits, unlocking the words trapped within. “They may have a thousand men in their army, but not one of them has the support of the gods. We have magic on our side, so stay strong, stay confident.” “And if everything goes to hell?” Roën asks when the cheers die down. “Strike,” I answer. “Fight with everything you’ve got.

The difference between falling short or fulfilling your true potential is how well you’ve designed your life

Embrace Efficiency, Elevate Flavor: Smart Kitchen Tools for Culinary Adventurers The kitchen, once a realm of necessity, has morphed into a playground of possibility. Gone are the days of clunky appliances and tedious prep work. Enter the age of the smart kitchen tool, a revolution that whispers efficiency and shouts culinary liberation. For the modern gastronome, these tech-infused gadgets are not mere conveniences, but allies in crafting delectable adventures, freeing us to savor the journey as much as the destination. Imagine mornings when your smart coffee maker greets you with the perfect brew, prepped by the whispers of your phone while you dream. Your fridge, stocked like a digital oracle, suggests recipes based on its ever-evolving inventory, and even automatically orders groceries you've run low on. The multi-cooker, your multitasking superhero, whips up a gourmet chili while you conquer emails, and by dinnertime, your smart oven roasts a succulent chicken to golden perfection, its progress monitored remotely as you sip a glass of wine. But efficiency is merely the prologue. Smart kitchen tools unlock a pandora's box of culinary precision. Smart scales, meticulous to the milligram, banish recipe guesswork and ensure perfect balance in every dish. Food processors and blenders, armed with pre-programmed settings and self-cleaning prowess, transform tedious chopping into a mere blip on the culinary radar. And for the aspiring chef, a sous vide machine becomes a magic wand, coaxing impossible tenderness from the toughest cuts of meat. Yet, technology alone is not the recipe for culinary bliss. For those who yearn to paint with flavors, smart kitchen tools are the brushes on their canvas. A connected recipe platform becomes your digital sous chef, guiding you through each step with expert instructions and voice-activated ease. Spice racks, infused with artificial intelligence, suggest unexpected pairings, urging you to venture beyond the familiar. And for the ultimate expression of your inner master chef, a custom knife, forged from heirloom steel and lovingly honed, becomes an extension of your hand, slicing through ingredients with laser focus and lyrical grace. But amidst the symphony of gadgets and apps, let us not forget the heart of the kitchen: the human touch. Smart tools are not meant to replace our intuition but to augment it. They free us from the drudgery, allowing us to focus on the artistry, the love, the joy of creation. Imagine kneading dough, the rhythm of your hands mirroring the gentle whirring of a smart bread machine, then shaping a loaf that holds the warmth of both technology and your own spirit. Or picture yourself plating a dish, using smart portion scales for precision but garnishing with edible flowers chosen simply because they spark joy. This, my friends, is the symphony of the smart kitchen: a harmonious blend of tech and humanity, where efficiency becomes the brushstroke that illuminates the vibrant canvas of culinary passion. Of course, every adventure, even one fueled by smart tools, has its caveats. Interoperability between gadgets can be a tangled web, and data privacy concerns linger like unwanted guests. But these challenges are mere bumps on the culinary road, hurdles to be overcome by informed choices and responsible data management. After all, we wouldn't embark on a mountain trek without checking the weather, would we? So, embrace the smart kitchen, dear foodies! Let technology be your sous chef, your precision tool, your culinary muse. But never forget the magic of your own hands, the wisdom of your palate, and the joy of a meal shared with loved ones. For in the end, it's not about the gadgets, but the memories we create around them, the stories whispered over simmering pots, and the laughter echoing through a kitchen filled with the aroma of possibility.

Find anything you’ve learned, touched, or thought about in the past within seconds. Organize your knowledge and use it to move

If you’ve ever played the word-tile game Scrabble, you know the best way to come up with new words is to mix up the letters in different combinations until a word jumps out at you. In our Second Brain we can do the same: mix up the order of our ideas until something unexpected emerges. The more diverse and unusual the material you put into it in the first place, the more original the connections that will emerge.

Hey friends, ever feel like life’s passing you by & there’s more behind you than in front? Now, if that’s because you’ve gracefully transitioned into the “wise elder” stage of life, all power to you! But if you’re still young at heart, hold on a sec! Hold that thought, because guess what? Science says it might all be in your head! Here’s the thing: age is just a number (a stubborn number, but a number nonetheless). What matters more is your spirit! So, ditch the age filter & embrace your inner youthful self! Sweetheart, Practice Feeling Younger Not Older ! Darling listen – while it’s impossible for a person to actually make themselves younger, it is possible to practice feeling younger! Try some of these ideas to unlock the fountain of youth (well, the feeling of it, anyway): Stop just talking about doing things, go out & do them! Figure out quickly what you like & try to become the best in the world at it. Get Ahead of The Curve. Experience & Travel. Smile More. Learn New skills.. (at least to delay gratification) & embrace every experience life throws your way. Wishing you all a life filled with endless youthful energy & endless fun! Here’s to feeling fantastic, friends! Blessings!

What you haven’t been addressing, you’ve been allowing. Having company values written on an office wall that you don’t actively Revisit doesn’t activate accountability. We can only productively hold people accountable for contributing to a specific result with a previously asked and agreed upon expectation paired with active Revisiting.

When you harbor and hold on to the painful memories of your past or the wrongs you feel you've encountered, you paralyze yourself from moving forward.

you’ve moved elsewhere, I wrote after getting home from Amren’s apartment, you could have at least given me the keys to this house. I keep leaving the door unlocked when I go out. It’s getting to be too tempting for the neighborhood burglars. No response. The letter didn’t even vanish. I tried after breakfast the next day—the morning of Starfall. Cassian says you’re sulking in the House of Wind. What un-High-Lord-like behavior. What of my training? Again, no reply. My guilt and—and whatever else it was—started to shift. I could barely keep from shredding the paper as I wrote my third one after lunch. Is this punishment? Or do people in your Inner Circle not get second chances if they piss you off? You’re a hateful coward. I was climbing out of the bath, the city abuzz with preparations for the festivities at sundown, when I looked at the desk where I’d left the letter. And watched it vanish. Nuala and Cerridwen arrived to help me dress, and I tried not to stare at the desk as I waited—waited and waited for the response. It didn’t come.

When it comes to learning, the Pomodoro technique works for reasons related to memory, specifically the effect of primacy and recency. The effect of primacy is that you’re more likely to remember what you learn in the beginning of a learning session, a class, a presentation, or even a social interaction. If you go to a party, you might meet 30 strangers. You’re most likely to remember the first few people that you meet (unless you’ve been trained to remember names with my method, which I’ll teach you later in this book). The effect of recency is that you’re also likely to remember the last thing you learned (more recent). At the same party, this means that you’ll remember the names of the last few people you met. We’ve all procrastinated before a test and then, the night before the exam, sat down to “cram” as much as possible without any breaks. Primacy and recency are just two of the (many) reasons cram sessions don’t work. But by taking breaks, you create more beginnings and endings, and you retain far more of what you’re learning.

Passion is unpredictable; it doesn’t follow the dictates of cause and effect. What works on Monday might not work on Thursday. The solution is often a surprise, not the result of the kind of work you’ve been doing until now.

Life conditions you. It swings at you, it kicks you while you’re down and it stamps on you. And yet you survive and walk around as the new and improved version of yourself. Because the challenges that some people still find hard, you’ve overcome.

Just as you listened for a feeling of internal resonance in deciding what content to save in the first place, the same rule applies for the insights within the note. Certain passages will move you, pique your attention, make your heart beat faster, or provoke you. Those are clear signals that you’ve found something important, and it’s time to add a highlight.

You’ve already learned an effective way to do what performance reviews have been failing to do for decades. Using the Results Model regularly will meet these exact objectives without the ineffectiveness of reviewing a year’s worth of work through a triggering experience that statistically (and neurochemically) decreases performance.

Like I’ve… unlocked another level of you.” “A video game metaphor. You’ve been hanging around me and Jack too much. We’re rubbing off on you.

You know you've leveled up in self-respect when you choose to walk away. It's like hitting the next stage in a game—suddenly, you're stronger, wiser, and no longer willing to put up with nonsense. Walking away isn’t about giving up; it’s about knowing your worth and refusing to settle for less. So, take that stride with confidence because every step away from what doesn’t serve you is a step toward something better. Congrats, you've unlocked a new level of self-respect!

Locksmith Austin Key Kong Locksmith. Have you ever found yourself locked out of your house with no way to get in? Or maybe you forgot the combination to your safe and now it's just a fancy paperweight. Well, fear not, my friends! Key Kong Locksmith is here to save the day and unlock your confidence in the process. So, who is Key Kong Locksmith? They are the superheroes of the locksmith world, ready to swoop in and save the day with their expertise and skills. With over 100 happy customer reviews, they have proven time and time again that they are the go-to locksmith service in Austin. But what sets Key Kong Locksmith apart from the rest? It's their mastery of the art of safe unlocking. Whether you've forgotten the combination or the mechanism is jammed, these guys have got your back. They can work their magic and have your safe open in no time.

You have to stop comparing yourself to everyone else. You’ve got to stop being who you think you should be, and start being who you truly are.

You’ll remember. I genuinely believe that.” “The memories are asleep in my heart, and when awakened, I worry I’ll be overwhelmed.” “Almost like you’ve been in love before.” “In another life. If I’m lucky, my soul will find it’s mate again. I just have to wait.” “Maybe you don’t wait. Maybe you just need a key.” “A key to unlock the past? I prefer that rather than sitting around. How do you suggest I get started?” “I think you’ll know it when you see it.” “I like your faith.

None of those things would have happened, however, if I did not believe they were possible. If they can happen for me, they can surely happen for you, too. You’ve just got to believe. You’ve got to believe, with all of your heart, that you can make it happen for yourself. You must believe you are worthy of your desires, and that you have all the tools within you to achieve success. You must release blame, guilt, fear, stress, and any other negative emotion that does not serve you.

Cassy walked up to Taylor and hugged her. “I’m really sorry about Tara. We’ll find her.” Taylor wiped her eyes. “Thank you.” Cassy looked into her eyes. “I mean it.” “I know you do.” “Where’s Corbin?” I asked Nichelle. “He went back to the hotel.” “Probably for the best,” I said. “He figured it would be.” Quentin, McKenna, and Tessa arrived a few minutes after us. No one spoke much. The sadness on their faces said it all. I texted my father. We’re here Almost immediately the loud buzz of an electronic lock echoed through the lobby, followed by a sharp metallic click, unlocking the glass door that opened to the elevators. I held the door while everyone walked inside. All ten of us crowded into one elevator. I pushed the button for the twelfth floor. My father and mother and the Ridleys were waiting for us as the door opened. Julie was crying. The two men wore grave expressions. Julie hugged Taylor as she got out of the elevator. “I’m so sorry, honey.” Taylor cried into her mother’s shoulder. My father said, “Let’s meet in the conference room.” We followed my dad down the hall to the glass double doors of a large conference room. He opened both doors, then gestured for us to enter. “Please, everyone, take a seat.” We sat down in the black leather seats that surrounded the polished mahogany table. The setting lent a stark formality to the gathering. Taylor and her mother were the last to enter. Even though I had kept a seat for Taylor, she sat down at the opposite end of the table next to her mother. After everyone was seated, my father said, “I understand that you’ve all been briefed on Jack and Grace. I can answer more questions about that later, but right now Tara’s abduction is our most time-sensitive issue.” He looked around the table. “Just to be clear, our first priority is to make sure that we don’t lose anyone else.” “I’ve already told everyone to stay in pairs,” I said.

Grateful she had locked it, she crept to the door and peered out the peephole, then smiled as she unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door. “Kyle. I didn’t expect to see you tonight.” “I couldn’t leave you all by yourself. And I’ll bet you haven’t had dinner. Am I right?” “Yes, but only because I fell asleep.” “My point exactly. You need someone to take care of you.” Jessica laughed and allowed him to enter. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” “I know you are. But I think you deserve a little pampering, don’t you?” “I won’t argue with that.” Though she knew having him here would just make it harder to say good-bye later, she was willing to put it off for a little while longer. “What did you have in mind?” He held up a bag. “I brought Chinese.” He winked at her. “Your favorite.” Surprised by his apparent need to take care of her, if she didn’t know he was engaged to Melanie she’d think he was flirting with her. But he was engaged to Melanie, so she could only take his actions to mean that he was taking care of an old friend. He walked into the kitchen and set the bag on the table. “Where are the plates?” When she started walking toward the cabinets, he gently held on to her arms and steered her toward the table. “I can find them myself. You need to sit.” She smiled, loving the attention and soaking it up while it lasted. He found the plates as well as utensils and glasses, and set the table before sitting across from her. “I know you like the orange chicken and the fried rice, so I got plenty of both.” He scooped out a generous helping onto her plate, then filled his own. Jessica dug in, surprised by how hungry she was. “This is delicious. Thanks for bringing it over.” “My pleasure,” he said, grinning. He took a few more bites, then set his fork down. “I have to admit, it bothers me that your fiancé didn’t make the effort to be here with you after all you’ve been through.” Jessica froze, her fork midway to her mouth. She set it down and straightened the napkin in her lap before meeting Kyle’s eyes. “The truth is, I didn’t

I receive emails daily from people who are in crappy situations or are unhappy about the path they’re on, and my advice to them is generally the same: You MUST find a way to be happy today, because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Yes, that’s easier said than done. But if you follow the techniques and tactics in this book, and you actively work on bettering yourself, making those around you better, and being grateful each day for the opportunity you’ve been given, you truly can level up your life. Here

First things first. “What are you doing here?” she whispered after shutting the door behind them. Kyle folded his arms across his chest. “Are you kidding me? I find you in the kitchen, with your ex-boyfriend declaring his undying love for you, and you ask me what I’m doing?” “Well, I assumed your cross-examination was going to be quite lengthy, so I figured I’d get all my questions out of the way first.” He pointed. “Don’t try to be cute when I’m pissed like this. And for the record, I came back because I forgot my watch on your nightstand. I heard a guy’s voice inside your apartment, and the door was unlocked, so I walked in.” Did he now? “When you’re feeling a little less prickly, we should probably have a talk about boundaries and this whole possessive side of yours.” “Fair enough. The next time I hear a strange man inside your apartment and find your door mysteriously unlocked, I won’t check to make sure you’re not being robbed or held at gunpoint by some lunatic felon that you’ve prosecuted.” Rylann paused, thinking that over. “Perhaps this wasn’t the best time to take issue with the whole possessive thing.

As pointed out by Christopher Vogler in The Writer’s Journey: We seekers look at one another with growing smiles. We’ve won the right to be called heroes. For the sake of the home tribe we faced death, tasted it, and yet lived. From the depths of terror we suddenly shoot up to victory. It’s time to fill our empty bellies and raise our voices around the campfire to sing of our deeds. Old wounds and grievances are forgotten. The story of our journey is already being woven. You pull apart from the rest, strangely quiet. In the leaping shadows you remember those who didn’t make it, and you notice something. You’re different. You’ve changed. Part of you has died and something new has been born. You and the world will never seem the same.

If you’ve ever played Destiny, Diablo, or EverQuest, or even games like Call of Duty, you know leveling systems are beyond addicting. You’ll play a game far after it’s stopped being fun simply because there’s the possibility of an increased level, a new achievement, or additional item. That’s why you’ll spend five hours killing rats just to get to the next level, as you’ll then unlock a new sword or spell that gives you a chance to gain . . . yup, another level. These leveling systems are designed specifically with human behavioral psychology in mind. As I told you earlier in the book, our brains love progress, and we love to be rewarded when we make progress. It’s the same psychology behind why we feel good when somebody likes the photos we post to Facebook: we take an action, and we are rewarded for it. What’s going on here? When these activities take place, our brains release dopamine, which makes us feel better and more accomplished. And then we chase that feeling. In fact, our brains can actually create new pathways with each repeated cue and reward. Once we understand this process, it becomes our responsibility to use it for good rather than for evil. Although I don’t play games like EverQuest very often anymore due to the time commitment they require and to my own admitted addiction to these types of games, I am still addicted to progress and leveling up. I just do it in real life now.

OUR PAST BRINGS US TO OUR FUTURE “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten.” —Joel 2:25 I believe in a very deep way that our past is what brings us to our future. I understand the temptation to draw an angry X through a whole season or a whole town or a whole relationship, to crumple it up and throw it away, to get it as far away as possible from a new life, a new future. In my worst moments, I want to slam the door on the hard parts of our life in Grand Rapids. Deadbolt it, forget it, move forward, happier without it. But I don’t want to lose six years of my own history behind a slammed door. These days I’m walking over and retrieving those years from the trash, erasing the X, unlocking the door. It’s the only way that darkness turns to light. I’m mining through, searching for light, and the more I look, the more I find all sorts of things Grand Rapids gave me. I see moments of heartbreak that led to honesty about myself I wouldn’t have been able to get to any other way. I am thankful for what I learned, what I became, what God gave me and what God took away during that season. WHAT HAVE the hard, dark seasons of your life yielded in light and insight and growth and gifts? Have you sifted through those times, looking for those gifts? Ask God to bring light out of that darkness. May 11 WHY WE WRITE Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. —Psalm 100:1 A writer friend came over yesterday. She’s written a novel. She brought over a fat, beautiful binder full of story, and I can’t wait to read it. We talked about publication and agents and sharing your work, about marketing and the internet and a million other things. And we talked about why we write. You know those conversations when you think you’re helping someone, sharing from your vast well of knowledge, only to realize that this person is actually instructing you, reminding you of something fundamental that you’ve forgotten? My friend sat across the table from me, and it seemed like she could have combusted into flames, burning with sheer, clean passion about this story. After she left, I realized that some days I forget why we write, and she reminded me. I write because other writers’ words changed my life a million and one ways, and I want to be a part of that. I began writing because there were things I wanted to say with so much urgency and soul I would have climbed a tower and shouted them, would have written them in skywriting, would have spelled them out in grains of rice if I had to.

Confidence is key. You’ve heard the phrase before, maybe even a little too often. You need the same key to unlock your professional success, to open the door to your happiness, to break in to the mother lode of love and abundance, to go down the rabbit hole. It is the same key, yet opens many doors, horizons and perspectives.

Crazy" In a church by the face He talks about the people going under Only child know A man decides after seventy years That what he goes there for Is to unlock the door While those around him criticize and sleep And through a fracture on that breaking wall I see you my friend and touch your face again Miracles will happen as we trip But we're never gonna survive unless We get a little crazy No we're never gonna survive unless We are a little Cray cray crazy Crazy are the people walking through my head One of them got a gun to shoot the other one And yet together they were friends at school Get it, get it, get it, yeah! If all were there when we first took the pill Then maybe then maybe then maybe then maybe Miracles will happen as we speak But we're never gonna survive unless We get a little crazy No we're never gonna survive unless We are a little Crazy No no we'll never survive unless we get a little bit A man decides to go along after seventy years Oh darling In a sky full of people only some want to fly Isn't that crazy In a world full of people only some want to fly Isn't that crazy Crazy In a heaven of people there's only some want to fly Ain't that crazy Oh babe Oh darlin' In a world full of people there's only some want to fly Isn't that crazy Isn't that crazy Isn't that crazy Isn't that crazy Oh But we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy crazy No we're never gonna to survive unless we are a little crazy But we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy crazy No we're never gonna to survive unless we are a little crazy No no never survive unless we get a little bit And then you see things The size of which you've never known before They'll break it Someday Only child know Them things The size Of which you've never known before Someday

Be genuine: Why is it said that the truth will set you free? People are punished and ostracized all the time for telling the truth. Lies often succeed. A polite agreement to go along and make no waves has brought money and power to many people. But “The truth shall set you free” wasn’t meant as practical advice. There’s a spiritual intent behind the words, saying in essence, “You cannot set yourself free, but truth can.” In other words, truth has the power to set aside what is false, and doing so can set us free. The ego’s agenda is to keep itself going. At crucial moments, however, the truth speaks to us; it tells us how things really are, not forever or for all people but right at this moment for us alone. This impulse must be honored if you wish to break free. When I think of what a flash of truth is like, some examples come to mind: Knowing that you can’t be what someone else wants you to be, no matter how much you love the other person. Knowing that you love, even when it’s scary to say so. Knowing that someone else’s fight isn’t yours. Knowing that you are better than what you appear to be. Knowing that you will survive. Knowing that you have to go your own way, no matter what the cost. Each sentence begins with the word knowing because the silent witness is that level where you know yourself, without regard for what others think they know. To speak your truth isn’t the same as bursting out with all the unpleasant things you’ve been too afraid or too polite to say. Such outbursts always have a feeling of pressure and tension behind them; they are grounded in frustration; they carry anger and hurt. The kind of truth that comes from the knower is calm; it doesn’t refer to how anyone else is behaving; it brings clarity to who you are. Value these flashes. You can’t make them appear, but you can encourage them by being genuine and not letting yourself fall into a persona created just to make you feel safe and accepted.

you shouldn’t get stuck in the success you’ve had in the past. If you do, you take more things for granted. It’s hard to get out of your comfort zone then. Keep challenging yourself.

Let go of the past, apply what you’ve learned in the present, and get ready to shape your future.