Yo Mama Quotes

What happened next, I would never have been able to predict. But it happened. We both went “OOOOOOOOH” at the bullshit that came out of his mouth like we were in fifth grade and had made a really good “yo mama” joke. We went “OOOOOOOOH” so deep and into it, totally unexpected, that it lasted maybe three seconds before we both burst out laughing, my head crying no at the movement and my back aching, but I did it anyway.

Pheoby, yuh got tuh go there tuh know there. Yo' papa and yo' mama and nobody else can't tell yuh and show yuh. Two things everybody's got tuh do fuh theyselves. They got tuh go tuh God and they got tuh find out about livin fuh theyselves.

Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball everyone thought she was pregnant again.   Yo

Yo mama so ugly even Hello Kitty said good bye.

Yo mama so ugly when she looks in the mirror her reflection ducks.   Yo

Yo mama so fat she uses Google Earth to take a selfie.

It’s uh known fact...you got tuh go there tuh know there. Yo’ papa and yo’ mama and nobody else can’t tell yuh and show yuh.

Yo mama so stupid, she watches Fox News and voted for Trump.

Yo mama is so stupid… she went to a dentist to fix her Bluetooth!

YO MAMA SO POOR... Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving." Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention. Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush. Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers. Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk. Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp. Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of garbage bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage." Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning. Yo mama so poor she has the ducks throw bread at her.

Then he gave a sad little smile. "Yo Mama better watch his back," he said.

Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.

Yo mama is so ugly… she made the Devil go to church!

Yo mama so slutty, Trump still owes her hush money.

... 'Course, talkin' don't amount tuh uh hill uh beans when yuh can't do nothin' else. And listenin' tuh dat kind uh talk is jus' lak openin' yo' mouth and lettin' de moon shine down yo' throat. It's uh known fact, Pheopby, you got tuh go there tuh know there. Yo' papa and yo' mama and nobody else can't tell yuh and show yuh. Two things everybody's got tuh do fuh theyselves. They got tuh go tuh God, and they got tuh find out about livin' fuh theyselves.

It’s uh known fact, Pheoby, you got tuh go there tuh know there. Yo’ papa and yo’ mama and nobody else can’t tell yuh and show yuh. Two things everybody’s got tuh do fuh theyselves. They got tuh go tuh God, and they got tuh find out about livin’ fuh theyselves.

Yo Mama's so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes.

Yo mama is so fat… when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride her!

Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio.

Yo mama so hairy people think she's an Ewok.

Yo mama so poor she has the ducks throw bread at her.

Yo mama is so fat… when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.

De girl baby ain’t born and her mama is dead, dat can git me tuh spend our money on her. Ah told yo’ before dat you got de keys tuh de kingdom. You can depend on dat.

PARENTHOOD is journey of being driven to the BRINK of INSANITY and BACK...Like a YO YO!!

Yo momma's so stupid, when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver she asked, "Cherry or grape?

Yo momma's so fat, when we went to a kid's birthday party, everyone thought she was the bounce house.

Yo Mama better watch his back,” he said.

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo Mama’s so poor, when I lit her house on fire, the cockroaches came out singing, “Clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got some heat!

Yo Mama sucks so much d***, her lips went double platinum.

Yo Mama's like a library, open to the public.

Yo Mama's so fat, her ass has its own congressman!

Yo momma's breath smells so bad her teeth didn't fall out, they ran away.

Yo momma's so dirty homeless people throw change at her when she sits on a park bench.

Yo momma's so fat she sank the Titanic.

Yo momma's so skinny I can blindfold her with dental floss.

Yo momma's so fat, she went to Red Lobster for endless shrimp last month and she's still there. Yo

Yo momma's so old, when God said, "Let there be light," she flipped the switch.

Yo Momma So Fat……Even Dora Can’t Explore Her”                               1.

Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror her reflection screamed in horror.

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a mattress store and slept on the floor.

yo mama so fat, she falls off both sides of the bed. yo mama so fat i took a picture of her last year and its still printing

Yo momma's so short she has to use a ladder to get up on the curb.

Yo momma's breath smells so bad, it's considered a weapon of mass destruction.

Yo momma's so old she used to hitch a ride to work with Fred Flintstone.

yo mama so fat when she walked by the t.v. I missed three episodes! sincerely, yo daddi

Yo mama is so fat that she left the house in high heels and came back wearing flip flops.

Yo mama is so fat that you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through!

Yo mama is so fat that she looks like she´s smuggling a Volkswagen.

Yo momma's so fat, she went to Red Lobster for endless shrimp last month and she's still there.

Yo momma's breath smells so bad her teeth didn't fall out, they ran away. Yo

Yo momma's so dirty homeless people throw change at her when she sits on a park bench. Yo

Yo momma's breath smells so bad I don't know if I should give her a Tic Tac or a piece of toilet paper. Yo

9. Yo Momma’s so Cheap Yo

Yo mama is so skinny… she turned sideways and disappeared.

Yo mama is so short … she broke her legs jumping off the toilet!

Yo mama is so lazy… she's got a remote control just to operate her remote control!

Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving.

Yo mama is so ugly… when she plays Mortal Kombat, Scorpion says, “Stay over there!

Yo mama is so old… she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

Yo mama is so old… that when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo momma's so ugly, when we went to a haunted house, she came out with a paycheck. Yo momma's so ugly, when she was doing door-to-door sales, someone told her it wasn't Halloween yet.

YO MAMA SO STUPID... Yo mama so stupid she tried to put her M&Ms in alphabetical order. Yo mama so stupid she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK." Yo mama so stupid she went to the dentist to get a blue tooth. Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a mattress store and slept on the floor. Yo mama so stupid she failed a survey. Yo mama so stupid she got fired from a blow job. Yo mama so stupid she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company. Yo mama so stupid she tried to climb Mountain Dew. Yo mama so stupid she went to the YMCA thinking it's Macy's. Yo mama is so stupid, she won't play Candy Crush cause she has diabetes.

Yo momma's so dirty homeless people throw change at her when she sits on a park bench. Yo momma’s so dirty, when she told your daddy to take out the trash, he put her out on the curb. Yo momma’s so dirty, when I called her on the

It's uh known fact, Pheoby, you got tuh go there tuh know there. Yo' papa and yo' mama and nobody else can't tell yuh and show yuh. Two things everybody's got tuh do fuh theyselves. They got tuh go tuh God, and they got tuh find out about livin' fuh theyselves.

YO MAMA SO FAT... Yo mama so fat she wears a sock on each toe. Yo mama so fat her belly button got an echo. Yo mama so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her. Yo mama so fat when she takes a bath there's no room left for any water in the tub. Yo mama so fat when I pictured her in my head I almost broke my neck. Yo mama so fat her blood type is Nutella. Yo mama so fat she gave Dracula high cholesterol. Yo mama so fat her ass has its own zip code. Yo mama so fat she uses bacon as breath mints. Yo mama so fat she uses Google Earth to take a selfie.

YO MAMA SO OLD... Yo mama so old the back of her head looks like a raisin. Yo mama so old her social security number is 1. Yo mama so old when she was a child rainbows were still in black and white. Yo mama so old when she was in school there was no history class. Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. Yo mama so old she was a crossing guard when Moses parted the red sea. Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper. Yo mama so old she has an autographed bible. Yo mama so old she knew Mr. Clean when he had an afro. Yo mama so old she knew Gandalf before he had a beard.

YO MAMA SO SKINNY... Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio. Yo mama so skinny she can grate cheese on her ribs. Yo mama so skinny her nipples touch. Your mama is so skinny she can dodge raindrops. Yo mama's so skinny when her pimp slapped her he got a paper cut. Yo mama so skinny she uses Chapstick for deodorant. Yo mama so skinny she uses a tea bag as her pillow. Yo mama so skinny she uses a Band-Aid as a maxi-pad. Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball everyone thought she was pregnant again. Yo mama so skinny if she had a yeast infection she'd be a Quarter Pounder with cheese.

wasting water. Yo

momma's

If he don’t see, love, and respect that shit, he ain’t the one for you. I could give a fuck about history. Understanding is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. There is no love without understanding. With your mother, I understand that she has to sleep with her cold ass feet on me. And, I hate feet. They sweaty. They stank. They ugly. Yo mama got a fat ass corn on her right pinky toe too. Owee,” he went on, causing me to chuckle.

He leans over and snarls, “Yo’ mama.” I grin. “She’s yo’ mama too, and I’m telling her you said that.” He opens up his arms, taunting me, “Do it. I’ll tell her the real story about the dried basil leaves in your sock drawer.” The motherfucker. “It was yours! I was hiding it for you!” He shrugs. “She don’t know that.

Den we git hurtee again. Somebody call hisself a deputy sheriff kill de baby boy now. (Over)1 “He say he de law, but he doan come ’rest him. If my boy done something wrong, it his place come ’rest him lak a man. If he mad wid my Cudjo ’bout something den he oughter come fight him face to face lak a man. He doan come ’rest him lak no sheriff and he doan come fight him lak no man. He have words wid my boy, but he skeered face him. Derefo’, you unnerstand me, he hidee hisself in de butcher wagon and when it gittee to my boy’s store, Cudjo walk straight to talk business. Dis man, he hidin’ hisself in de back of de wagon, an’ shootee my boy. Oh, Lor’! He shootee my boy in de throat. He got no right shootee my boy. He make out he skeered my boy goin’ shoot him and shootee my boy down in de store. Oh, Lor’! De people run come tellee me my boy hurtee. We tookee him home and lay him in de bed. De big hole in de neck. He try so hard to ketchee breath. Oh, Lor’! It hurtee me see my baby boy lak dat. It hurtee his mama so her breast swell up so. It make me cry ’cause it hurt Seely so much. She keep standin’ at de foot of de bed, you unnerstand me, an’ lookee all de time in his face. She keep telling him all de time, ‘Cudjo, Cudjo, Cudjo, baby, put whip to yo’ horse!’ “He hurtee so hard, but he answer her de best he kin, you unnerstand me. He tellee her, ‘Mama, thass whut I been doin’!’ “Two days and two nights my boy lay in de bed wid de noise in de throat. His mama never leave him. She lookee at his face and tellee him, ‘Put whip to yo’ horse, baby.’ “He pray all he could. His mama pray. I pray so hard, but he die. I so sad I wish I could die in place of my Cudjo. Maybe, I doan pray right, you unnerstand me, ’cause he die while I was prayin’ dat de Lor’ spare my boy life. “De man dat killee my boy, he de paster of Hay Chapel in Plateau today. I try forgive him.

just had to, no matter how scared I was.” Mama went on. “An’ those people, the ones we never met and ain’t ever gonna meet, who were called by God to make somethin’ that ain’ ever been before—a college for everyone that let a Negro woman learn. That’ a miracle, baby. A miracle that blessed yo’ life!” A huge chill swept through Jordan at the truth of her mother’s words. “The Sower

Nunca la había visto así por la sencilla razón de que nunca había sido así. Mi madre me miraba con amor. Esa mirada suya -que yo había esperado y mendigado toda mi infancia y por la que me habría desprendido voluntariamente de todo mi capital de niño ahorrador- la recibía ahora gratis. [...] Habría querido tirarla de la silla de una patada, como había hecho ella conmigo a lo largo de aquellos siete meses. Me habría gustado meterle aquel amor por los ojos a puñetazos y decirle que se lo guardara para el otro mundo, en el que, si tenía suerte, conseguiría engatusar a alguien y convencerle de que era capaz de amar. Me habría gustado arrancarle en aquel segundo, con unas tenazas al rojo vivo, todos los cuentos no contados, todas las nanas no cantadas, todas las caricias en el pelo que me correspondían, pero que ella me había escamoteado como una roñosa.

Yo momma's so old, her butt crack

Yo momma's so ugly when people see her face they say "Hey,lady!It ain't Halloween yet!

Yo momma's so skinny she can use a bracelet as a hula hoop. Yo momma's so thin that if she stands in front of a wall she looks like a crack. Yo momma's so skinny she can't sideways when taking a selfie. Yo momma's so skinny she played the part of the staff in the story of Moses. Yo momma's so skinny she hid behind a stick during a game of hide and seek. Yo momma's so skinny, her pants have one belt loop. Yo momma's so skinny when she is taking a shower, she has to run around to get wet. Yo momma's legs so skinny, she looks like a blow pop. Yo momma's so skinny she can hang glide off a dorito. Yo momma's so skinny I put a dime on her head and people mistook her for a Nail. Yo momma's so skinny, she can grate cheese on her ribs. Yo momma's so skinny, when I slapped her I got a paper cut! Yo momma's so skinny, if she had a sesame seed on her head, she'd look like a push pin. Yo momma's so skinny the Olsen Twins called and said they want their eating disorder back. Yo momma's so skinny, if she turned sideways and stuck out her tongue, she would look like a zipper. Yo momma's so skinny, she can see out the peephole with both eyes. Yo momma's so skinny, she could dive through a fence.

Yo momma's so tall when I tell her to bend over she's still taller than me. Yo momma's so tall, she did a push-up and burned her back on the sun. Yo momma's so tall she went to Leeds and her legs were still at home. Yo momma's so tall she called the Ocean a kitty pool. Yo momma's so tall, she can see her house from anywhere. Yo momma's so tall when she jump in the sky it hit jesus' balls. Yo momma's so tall she could "69" big foot. Yo momma's so tall she has to take a bath in Niagra falls. Yo Momma's so Stupid   Yo momma's so stupid, she told me everything she knows during a commercial break. Yo momma's so stupid, that if I need a brain transplant I'll take hers, because it's barely been used. Yo momma's so stupid she sent me a fax with a stamp on it. Yo momma's so stupid. She went to the eye doctor to buy an iPad. Yo momma's so stupid she threw the clock out the window to see time fly! Yo momma's so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl. Yo momma's so stupid, if her brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill a M&M. Yo momma's so stupid if you stand close enough to her you can hear the ocean. Yo momma's so stupid, the smartest thing to come out of her mouth was a penis. Yo momma's so stupid, the government banned her from homeschooling her kids. Yo momma's so stupid, she's the reason women only make 75 cents on the dollar. Yo momma's so stupid, she filled her car with water so she can drive in the Car Pool lane. Yo momma's so stupid, I would ask her how old she is, but I know she can't count that high. Yo momma's so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check. Yo momma's so stupid she put cheese on my dad because he's a cracker. Yo momma's so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back. Yo momma's so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners. Yo momma's so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death. Yo momma's so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone. Yo momma's so Stupid when i said One mans trash is another mans Treasure she jump in a trash bin. Yo momma's so stupid she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate". Yo momma's so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order.

Yo Mama’s so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white.

Yo Mama’s so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said, “Sorry, no professionals.

If Yo Mama and Yo Daddy got a divorce, they'd still be brother and sister.

Yo Mama's like mustard, she spreads easy.

What’s the difference between Yo Mama and a 747? -About 20 pounds. -Yo mama carries more passengers. -Not everyone's been on a 747.

RATED R  42. Yo mama so dumb,v she sticked cat food down her

everybody puts their balls on her!

Yo Mama so ugly,

Yo Mama so ugly, not even Sherlock Holmes could solve that mystery.

Yo mama so ugly, One Direction went the other way!

Yo mama’s so dumb, she put two M&m’s in her ears and thought she was listening go Eminen.

Yo momma's so fat the national weather service gives a name to each one of her farts.

Yo momma's so fat when I stabbed her in the stomach the whole McDonalds value meal came out of her

Yo mama is so fat… she broke a branch in her family tree!

Yo mama is so poor… she can't afford to pay attention!

Yo mama is so poor… a tornado hit her house and did a home improvement!

Yo mama is so fat… when she dives into the ocean there is a tsunami-warning!

Target!

Yo mama is so stupid… when they said that it is chilly outside, she went outside with a bowl and a spoon.