What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20 Quotes

There's a big difference between trying to do something and actually doing it. We often say we're trying to do something-losing weight, getting more exercise, finding a job. But the truth is, we're either doing it or not doing it.

Never miss an opportunity to be fabulous.

Attitude is perhaps the biggest determinant of what we can accomplish.

[I]t's important to know whether you're putting energy into something that has the potential to pay off. This is one of life's biggest challenges. We often stay in dead-end situations way too long...hoping the situation will improve.

the key to success is not dodging every bullet but being able to recover quickly.

First, opportunites are abundant. At any place and time you can look around and identify problems that need solving....regardless of the size of the problem, there are ususally creative ways to use the resources already at your disposal.

The bigger the problem, the bigger the opportunity. Nobody will pay you to solve a non-problem.”4

T-shaped people " those with a depth of knowledge in at least one discipline and a breadth of knowledge about innovation and entrepreneurship that allows them to work effectively with professionals on other disciplines to bring their ideas to life.

[I]f you have talent in an area and there's a big market for your skills, then that is a great area to find a job.

Uncertainty is the essence of life, and it fuels opportunity.

Even though it is always difficult to abandon a project, it is much easier in the early stages of a venture, before there is an enormous escalation of committed time and energy.

The night before brain surgery, I thought about death. I searched out my larger values, and I asked myself, if I was going to die, did I want to do it fighting and clawing or in peaceful surrender? What sort of character did I hope to show? Was I content with myself and what I had done with my life so far? I decided that I was essentially a good person, although I could have been better--but at the same time I understood that the cancer didn't care. I asked myself what I believed. I had never prayed a lot. I hoped hard, I wished hard, but I didn't pray. I had developed a certain distrust of organized religion growing up, but I felt I had the capacity to be a spiritual person, and to hold some fervent beliefs. Quite simply, I believed I had a responsibility to be a good person, and that meant fair, honest, hardworking, and honorable. If I did that, if I was good to my family, true to my friends, if I gave back to my community or to some cause, if I wasn't a liar, a cheat, or a thief, then I believed that should be enough. At the end of the day, if there was indeed some Body or presence standing there to judge me, I hoped I would be judged on whether I had lived a true life, not on whether I believed in a certain book, or whether I'd been baptized. If there was indeed a God at the end of my days, I hoped he didn't say, 'But you were never a Christian, so you're going the other way from heaven.' If so, I was going to reply, 'You know what? You're right. Fine.' I believed, too, in the doctors and the medicine and the surgeries--I believed in that. I believed in them. A person like Dr. Einhorn [his oncologist], that's someone to believe in, I thought, a person with the mind to develop an experimental treatment 20 years ago that now could save my life. I believed in the hard currency of his intelligence and his research. Beyond that, I had no idea where to draw the line between spiritual belief and science. But I knew this much: I believed in belief, for its own shining sake. To believe in the face of utter hopelessness, every article of evidence to the contrary, to ignore apparent catastrophe--what other choice was there? We do it every day, I realized. We are so much stronger than we imagine, and belief is one of the most valiant and long-lived human characteristics. To believe, when all along we humans know that nothing can cure the briefness of this life, that there is no remedy for our basic mortality, that is a form of bravery. To continue believing in yourself, believing in the doctors, believing in the treatment, believing in whatever I chose to believe in, that was the most important thing, I decided. It had to be. Without belief, we would be left with nothing but an overwhelming doom, every single day. And it will beat you. I didn't fully see, until the cancer, how we fight every day against the creeping negatives of the world, how we struggle daily against the slow lapping of cynicism. Dispiritedness and disappointment, these were the real perils of life, not some sudden illness or cataclysmic millennium doomsday. I knew now why people fear cancer: because it is a slow and inevitable death, it is the very definition of cynicism and loss of spirit. So, I believed.

You can’t learn to play soccer by reading the rulebook, you can’t learn to play the piano by studying sheets of music, and you can’t learn to cook by reading recipes.

the harder you work, the luckier you get.

We hire people who have experience not just because of their successes but also because of their failures. Failures offer learning opportunities and increase the chance that you won’t make the same mistake again.

If you throw gasoline on a log, all you get is a wet log. But if you throw gasoline on a small flame, you get an inferno.”7

Planning a career should be like traveling in a foreign country. Even if you prepare carefully, have an itinerary and a place to stay at night, the most interesting experiences usually aren’t planned. You might end up meeting a fascinating person who shows you places that aren’t in the guidebook, or you might miss your train and end up spending the day exploring a small town you hadn’t planned to visit.

Keep in mind that failure is a natural part of learning process. If you aren't failing sometimes, then you probably aren't taking enough risks.

Ideas are like babies because everyone thinks theirs is cute, therefore be objective when judging your own ideas.

Sometimes quitting is the bravest alternative, because it requires you to face your failures and announce them publicly.

The key to success is the ability to extract the lessons out of each of these experiences and to move on with that new knowledge.

Willingness to take risks and reactions to failure differ dramatically around the world. In some cultures the downside for failure is so high that individuals are allergic to taking any risks at all. These cultures associate shame with any type of failure, and from a young age people are taught to follow a prescribed path with a well-defined chance of success, as opposed to trying anything that might lead to disappointment. In some places, such as Thailand, someone who has failed repeatedly might even choose to take on a brand-new name in an attempt to reboot his or her entire life. In fact, in the 2008 Olympics, a Thai weight lifter attributed her victory to changing her name before the games.

Just as evolution is a series of trial-and-error experiments, life is full of false starts and inevitable stumbling. The key to success is the ability to extract the lessons out of each of these experiences and to move on with that new knowledge. For

We can and should challenge ourselves every single day. That is, we can choose to view the world through the lens of possibilities. The more we take on problems, the more confident and proficient we become at solving them. And the better able we are to see them as opportunities.

All the cool stuff happens when you do things that are not the automatic next step.” The well-worn path is there for everyone to trample. But the interesting things often occur when you are open to taking an unexpected turn, to trying something different, and when you are willing to question the rules others have made for you. All agreed that it is easy to stay on the prescribed path, but it is often much more interesting to discover the world of surprises lurking just around the corner. Knowing

The first step to solving big problems is to identify them. In the world of product design, this is called “need finding.

Failure is inevitable, and that the key to success is not dodging every bullet but being able to recover quickly.

Craft the story now so you'll be proud to tell it later.

afraid

Life isn’t a dress rehearsal, and you won’t always get a second chance to do your best.

entrepreneurship requires a range of skills, from leadership and team building to negotiation, innovation, and decision-making.

experimenting until you are finally successful.

This message is echoed by author Guy Kawasaki, who says it is better to “make meaning than to make money.”5

But when is a rule really just a suggestion? And when do suggestions morph into rules?

They recognized that they had a fabulously valuable asset—that others didn’t even notice—just waiting to be mined.

Make meaning than to make money

У жизни нет репетиций, a у человека есть лишь один шанс хорошо сделать свою работу.

Вам необходимо смириться с тем фактом, что если вы по-настоящему хотите чего-то достичь, то все зависит только от вас.

Don’t be in a rush to get to your final destination—the side trips and unexpected detours quite often lead to the most interesting people, places, and opportunities.

Essentially, the ecosystem in which you live and work is a huge factor in predicting the types of opportunities that will present themselves.

Passions are just a starting point. You also need to know your talents and how the world values them.

On reflection, there appear to be five primary types of risks: physical, social, emotional, financial, and intellectual.

an entrepreneur is someone who is always on the lookout for problems that can be turned into opportunities and finds creative ways to leverage limited resources to reach their goals.

I hated reunions. It made myself felt so little afterwards. When I was there, I couldn’t help not knowing. But after I knew things, I couldn’t stop comparing. I was congratulating people when they told me the good news, but deep inside I was wondering whether their good news was better than mine. Life wasn’t supposed to be a competition, but it really felt like one.

great ideas require a tremendous amount of work to reach a successful outcome, it’s incredibly hard to know when to keep pushing on a problem, hoping for a breakthrough, and when to walk away.

failure résumé. That is, to craft a résumé that summarizes all their biggest screwups—personal, professional, and academic. For every failure, each student must describe what he or she learned from that experience.

If your goal is to make meaning by trying to solve a big problem in innovative ways, you are more likely to make money than if you start with the goal of making money, in which case you will probably not make money or meaning.

There’s a big difference between trying to do something and actually doing it. We often say we’re trying to do something—losing weight, getting more exercise, finding a job. But the truth is, we’re either doing it or not doing it.

as well as for the team making restaurant reservations, experimenting along the way paid off. The iterative process, where small changes are made in response to customer feedback, allowed them to optimize their strategy on the fly.

Carlos Vignolo, a masterful professor at the University of Chile, told me that he provocatively suggests that students take classes from the worst teachers in their school because this will prepare them for life, where they won’t have talented educators leading the way.

Don’t sit around waiting for a yes that will never come. It’s better to get to no sooner rather than later so you can put your energy into opportunities with a higher likelihood of success. This applies to job hunting, finding business funding, dating, and most other endeavors.

You think an idea's bad but to others, it's a brilliant idea. Instead of thinking that an idea is bad, look at it differently and the final outcome of this "bad" idea will shock you. Rules should be followed. It is a tradition to know what can and can't be done. But innovation doesn't require the boundaries rules provide. It is when you stop following that you start having unexpected fun.

Quitting is actually incredibly empowering. It’s a reminder that you control the situation and can leave whenever you like. You don’t have to be your own prison guard, keeping yourself locked up in a place that isn’t working. But that doesn’t mean quitting is easy. I’ve quit jobs that were a bad match and abandoned failing projects, and in each case it was terribly difficult. We’re taught that quitting is a sign of weakness, although in many circumstances, it’s just the opposite. Sometimes quitting is the bravest alternative, because it requires you to face your failures and announce them publicly. The great news is that quitting allows you to start over with a clean slate. And, if you take the time to evaluate what happened, quitting can be an invaluable learning experience.

success is sweet but transient. When you’re in a position of influence, authority, and power, the benefits are wonderful. But once the position is gone, the perks evaporate. Your “power” comes from the position you hold. When you’re no longer in that position, all that goes with it quickly fades away. Therefore, you should not define yourself by your current position or believe all your own press.

A quote attributed to the Chinese Taoist philosopher Lao-Tzu sums this up: The master of the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his education and his recreation, his love and his religion. He simply pursues his vision of excellence in whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him, he is always doing both.

I then ask them to turn these things upside down—to imagine the exact opposite of each one. For example, the new list would include a small tent, no animals, expensive seats, no barkers, one act performing at a time, sophisticated music, and no clowns or popcorn. They then pick the things they want to keep from the traditional circus and the things they want to change. The result is a brand-new type of circus, à la Cirque du Soleil.

In reality, when you look closely at the graph for most successful people, there are always ups and downs. When viewed over a longer period of time, however, the line generally moves up and to the right. When you’re in a down cycle, it’s sometimes hard to see that the temporary dip is actually a setup for the next rise. In fact, the slope of the upward line is often steeper after a down cycle, meaning you’re really achieving more than if you had stayed on a steady, predictable path.

When I came out into the outside room again, I saw her shoe still lying there, where it had come off in the course of our brief wrestle. It looked so pathetic there by itself without an owner, it looked so lonely, it looked so empty. Something made me pick it up arid take it in to her. Like when someone's going away, you help them on with their coat, or their jackboots, or whatever it is they need for going away. I didn't try to put it back on her, I just set it down there beside her close at hand. You're going to need this, I said to her in my mind. You're starting on a long walk. You're going to keep walking from now on, looking for your home. I stopped and wondered for a minute if that was what happened to all of us when we crossed over. Just keep walking, keep on walking, with no ahead and no in-back-of; tramps, vagrants in eternity. With our last hope and horizon - death - already taken away. In the Middle Ages they had lurid colors, a bright red hell, an azure heaven shot with gold stars. They knew where they were, at least. They could tell the difference. We, in the Twentieth, we just have the long walk, the long walk through the wispy backward-stringing mists of eternity, from nowhere to nowhere, never getting there, until you're so tired you almost wish you were alive again. ("Life Is Weird Sometimes" - first chapter of unpublished novel THE LOSER)

But when is a rule really just a suggestion? And when do suggestions morph into rules? Every day, physical signs tell all of us what to do, written instructions direct us how to behave, and social guidelines urge us to act within specific parameters. In fact, we also make lots of rules for ourselves, in large part encouraged by others. These rules become woven into our individual fabric as we go through life. We draw imaginary lines around what we think we can do—lines that often limit us much more than the rules imposed by society at large. We define ourselves by our professions, our income, where we live, the car we drive, our education, and even by our horoscope. Each definition locks us into specific assumptions about who we are and what we can do.

[Chang Yu relates the following anecdote of Kao Tsu, the first Han Emperor: “Wishing to crush the Hsiung-nu, he sent out spies to report on their condition. But the Hsiung-nu, forewarned, carefully concealed all their able-bodied men and well-fed horses, and only allowed infirm soldiers and emaciated cattle to be seen. The result was that spies one and all recommended the Emperor to deliver his attack. Lou Ching alone opposed them, saying: “When two countries go to war, they are naturally inclined to make an ostentatious display of their strength. Yet our spies have seen nothing but old age and infirmity. This is surely some ruse on the part of the enemy, and it would be unwise for us to attack.” The Emperor, however, disregarding this advice, fell into the trap and found himself surrounded at Po-teng.”] 19.  Thus one who is skillful at keeping the enemy on the move maintains deceitful appearances, according to which the enemy will act. [Ts’ao Kung’s note is “Make a display of weakness and want.” Tu Mu says: “If our force happens to be superior to the enemy’s, weakness may be simulated in order to lure him on; but if inferior, he must be led to believe that we are strong, in order that he may keep off. In fact, all the enemy’s movements should be determined by the signs that we choose to give him.” Note the following anecdote of Sun Pin, a descendent of Sun Wu: In 341 B.C., the Ch’i State being at war with Wei, sent T’ien Chi and Sun Pin against the general P’ang Chuan, who happened to be a deadly personal enemy of the later. Sun Pin said: “The Ch’i State has a reputation for cowardice, and therefore our adversary despises us. Let us turn this circumstance to account.” Accordingly, when the army had crossed the border into Wei territory, he gave orders to show 100,000 fires on the first night, 50,000 on the next, and the night after only 20,000. P’ang Chuan pursued them hotly, saying to himself: “I knew these men of Ch’i were cowards: their numbers have already fallen away by more than half.” In his retreat, Sun Pin came to a narrow defile, with he calculated that his pursuers would reach after dark. Here he had a tree stripped of its bark, and inscribed upon it the words: “Under this tree shall P’ang Chuan die.” Then, as night began to fall, he placed a strong body of archers in ambush near by, with orders to shoot directly they saw a light. Later on, P’ang Chuan arrived at the spot, and noticing the tree, struck a light in order to read what was written on it. His body was immediately riddled by a volley of arrows, and his whole army thrown into confusion. [The above is Tu Mu’s version of the story; the SHIH CHI, less dramatically but probably with more historical truth, makes P’ang Chuan cut his own throat with an exclamation of despair, after the rout of his army.] ] He sacrifices something, that the enemy may snatch at it. 20.  By holding out baits, he keeps him on the march; then with a body of picked men he lies in wait for him. [With an emendation suggested by Li Ching, this then reads, “He lies in wait with the main body of his troops.”] 21.  The clever combatant looks to the effect of combined energy, and does not require too much from individuals.

Tina Seelig, author of What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20,

My Father knew no Romanian and by that time I had become the mover and shaker in our family. I took along a Waterman fountain pen, covered with silver filigree, which Uncle Morris had left us on one of his visits to Europe. That was intended as a "thank you" for an officer, if needed. All the way from home to City Hall Father was mumbling, talking to himself. When I asked what he was saying, he said: "Nishmas" (Hear, oh God ... an appeal to God to hear his prayer in this hour of need.) We came into a big hall. About 20 officers were seated along a table. The officer at the letter S looked through the identification papers of all three of us. As I was showing him what he was asking for, I tried to talk lightheartedly, to cover up my fear. Without asking many questions, he signed the certificate, stamped it and wished me good luck and added: "You'll need it.

زمان زیادی طول کشید تا متوجه شوم این ذهنیتِ رقابتی که «به‌قیمت باخت دیگری برنده می‌شوید»، کاملاً زیان‌بخش و دارای نتیجهٔ معکوس است. در زندگی تقریباً همه‌چیز تیمی انجام می‌شود و کسانی که نمی‌دانند چطور دیگران را به موفقیت برسانند، ایراد بزرگی دارند. * . گاهی ترک‌کردن شجاعانه‌ترین راه چاره است؛ چون لازم است با شکست‌های خود رودررو شوید و آن‌ها را علناً اعلام کنید. * ای کاش کسی به من گفته بود که تردید را با آغوشِ باز بپذیرم * قرار نیست همه را دوست داشته باشید و قرار هم نیست همه شما را دوست داشته باشند؛ اما لازم نیست برای خود دشمن بتراشید. * مردی بود که به‌نظر می‌رسید در رابطه با زن‌ها خیلی خوش‌شانس است؛ به‌خصوص که نه دلربا بود نه بامزه، باهوش یا حتی جذاب. به‌خاطر همین هم معمایی بود برای خودش. روزی دوست من از او می‌پرسد که چطور توانسته است کاری کند که زنان پرشماری پیوسته در زندگی‌اش حضور داشته باشند. او گفت رازش خیلی ساده است: به هر زنِ جذابی پیشنهاد قرار ملاقات می‌دهد و برخی از آن‌ها قبول می‌کنند. راضی بود دراِزای تعداد کمی موفقیت، سهم پس‌زده‌شدنِ خودش را بپذیرد. این ابتدایی‌ترین درسی است که می‌توان آموخت. اگر جلو بروید و خیلی چیزها را امتحان کنید، به‌احتمال زیاد در مقایسه با کسی که منتظر است خبرش کنند، موفقیتِ بیش‌تری کسب می‌کنید. * «خیلی اوقات مردم نگران سوارشدن قطار در زمان درست هستند؛ ولی نگران سوارشدن در قطار درست نیستند.» * «همیشه به‌اندازهٔ یک تصمیم از زندگی‌ای کاملاً متفاوت جدا هستید.» * به خودتان اجازه دهید به باورِ همگانی شک کنید و در قواعد پیرامونِ خود تجدیدنظر کنید. * اگر گاهی اوقات شکست نمی‌خورید، در آن صورت احتمالاً به‌اندازهٔ کافی خطر نمی‌کنید.