“
It's the imperfections that make things beautiful
”
”
Jenny Han (The Summer I Turned Pretty (Summer, #1))
“
He didn’t give me flowers or candy. He gave me the moon and the stars. Infinity
-Belly Conklin-
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Maybe that was how it was with all first loves. They own a little piece of your heart, always.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
He was marrying my girl, and I couldn’t do anything about it. I just had to watch it happen, because he was my brother, because I promised. Take care of him, Connie. I’m counting on you .
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
But just because you bury something, that doesn’t mean it stops existing.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
But just because you bury something, that doesn’t mean it stops existing. Those feelings, they’d been there all along. All that time. I had to face it. He was part of my DNA. I had brown hair and I had freckles and I would always have Conrad in my heart.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I love Jere more than anybody. He’s my brother, my family. I hate myself for doing this. But when I see you two together, I hate him too.” His voice broke.
“Don’t marry him. Don’t be with him. Be with me.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Don’t marry him. Don’t be with him. Be with me.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
A fight is like a fire. You think you have it under control, you think you can stop it whenever you want, but before you know it, it’s living, breathing thing and there’s no controlling it and you were a fool to think you could.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I knew I had to be careful. I had to keep my distance. If she knew how much I still cared, it was all over. I wouldn’t be able to walk away again. The first time was hard enough.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
There hadn’t been one specific moment. It was like gradualy waking up. You go from being asleep to the space between dreaming and awake and then into consciousness. It’s a slow process, but when you’re awake, there’s no mistaking it. There was no mistaking that it had been love.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Sometimes I think I’ll never trust another girl the way I trust you.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I never once cheated on you. I never even looked at another girl when we were together.”
Conrad Fisher
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I’ve only ever loved two boys—both of them with the last name Fisher. Conrad was first, and I loved him in a way that you can really only do the first time around. It’s the kind of love that doesn’t know better and doesn’t want to—it’s dizzy and foolish and fierce. That kind of love is really a one-time-only thing.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Sometimes it hurts to look at you,” I said. I loved that I could say that and he knew exactly what I meant.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I would rather have had someone shoot me in the head with a nail gun, repeatedly, than have to watch the two of them cuddling on the couch together all night. --Conrad
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I don’t just want a part of you. I want all of you
Jeremiah Fisher
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
You Are The Milk To My Shake, forever and ever. Love, J
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
My two great loves. I think I always knew I would be Belly Fisher one day. I just didn't know it was going to happen like this.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I go wherever you go,' he says, launching us into the water.
This is our start. This is the moment it becomes real. We are married. We are infinite. Me and Conrad. The first boy I ever slow danced with, ever cried over. Ever loved.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Lying here and looking up at the stars like this, it makes me feel like I’m lying on a planet. It’s so wide. So infinite
-Belly Conklin
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Firsts were important
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
It’s a known fact that in life, you can’t have everything. In my heart I knew I loved them both, as much as possible to love two people at the same time. Conrad and I were linked, we would always be linked. That wasn’t something I could do away with. I knew that now—that love wasn’t something you could erase, no matter how hard you tried.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
You can't put being in love on a scale. Either you are or you aren't.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I need you to know that no matter what happens, it was worth it to me. Being with you, loving you. It was all worth it.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I spun away from him. I didn’t need his pity.
I started walking in the opposite direction of the house. I didn’t know where I was going, I just wanted to get away from him.
He called out, “I still love you.”
I froze. And then slowly,
I turned around to look at him. “Don’t say that
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
There are moments in every girls life that are bigger than we know at the time. when you look back, you say that was one of those life-changing fork in the road moments and I didn't see it coming and then there are the moments that you know are big that whatever you do next there will be an impact. Your life could go one of two directions, DO or DIE
- Belly Conklin
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I won’t be the reason you don’t go to him. I won’t be your excuse. You’ve got to see for yourself, or you’l never be able to let him go
Jeremiah Fisher
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I’m sorry for screwing everything up. I hurt you again, and for that I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I don’t want to do that anymore. So … I’m not going to stay
for the wedding. I’m just going to take off now. I won’t see you again, not for a long time. Probably for the best. Being near you like this, it hurts. And
Jere”—Conrad cleared his throat and stepped backward, making space between us—“he’s the one who needs you.”
Hoarsely, he said, “I need you to know that no matter what happens, it was worth it to me. Being with you, loving you. It was all worth it
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Firsts were important. But I was pretty sure lasts were even more important.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
And then there was Jeremiah. When I looked at Jeremiah, I saw past, present, and future. He didn’t just know the girl I used to be. He knew the right-now me, and he loved me anyway.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
He came up and kissed me on my forehead, and before he stepped away, I closed my eyes and tried hard to memorize this moment. I wanted to remember him exactly as he was right then, how his arms looked brown against his white shirt, the way his hair was cut a little too short in the front. Even the bruise, there because of me.
Then he was gone.
Just for that moment, the thought that I might never see him again… it felt worse than death. I wanted to
run after him. Tell him anything, everything. Just don’t go. Please just never go. Please just always be near me, so I can at least see you.
Because it felt final. I always believed that we would find our way back to each other every time. That no matter what, we would be connected—by our history, by this house. But this time, this last time, it felt final. Like I would never see him again, or that when I did, it would be different, there would be a mountain between us.
I knew it in my bones. That this time was it. I had finally made my choice, and so had he. He let me go. I was relieved, which I expected. What I didn’t expect was to feel so much grief.
Bye bye, Birdie.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I laid myself fucking bare last night! I put it all out there, and you shut me down. Rightfully so. I get that I shouldn’t have said any of that stuff to you. But now here I am trying to find a way to come out of this with just a little fragment of pride so I can look you in the eye when this is all over, and you won’t even let me have that. You broke my heart last night, all right? Is that what you want to hear?
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
The first time I saw him again, it was another year, at my college graduation. And I just knew.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Things weren’t the same with us, not right away, and maybe not ever. We were growing up. We were still figuring out how to be in each other’s lives without being everything to each other.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
All night, I talked to other people. I didn't look in his direction, but I always knew where he was. I was painfully aware of him. When he was nearby, my body hummed. When he was away, there was this dull ache. With him near, I felt everything.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Suddenly I had this feeling, this absolute certainty, that I was never going to be able to let him go. It was as simple and as hard as that. I had clung to him like a barnacle all these years, and now I couldn’t cut away. It was my own fault, really. I couldn’t let go of Conrad.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I finally said it. The actual words, out loud, to her face. It was a relief, not carrying it around anymore, and it was a rush, actually telling her. I was in an elated sort of daze, on a high. She loved me. I didn’t need to hear her say it out loud, I knew it innately in the way she looked at me just then.
Conrad Fisher
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
We are married. We are infinite. Me and Conrad. The first boy I ever slow danced with, ever cried over. Ever loved
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
The promises you make on your mother’s deathbed are promises that are absolute; they’re titanium. There’s no way you’re breaking them. I promised my mother that I would take care of my brother. That I would look after him. I kept my word. I did it the best way I could. By leaving.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
There are moments in every girl’s life that are bigger than we know at the time. When you look back, you say, that was one of those life-changing,
fork-in-the-road moments and I didn’t even see it coming. I had no idea.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
It's not all of a sudden," he said, his eyes locked on mine. "It's always.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
We didn’t know what was ahead of us then. We were just two teenagers, looking up at the sky on a cold February night. So no, he didn’t give me flowers or candy. He gave me the moon and the stars. Infinity.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
He took a step closer. "I don't know if I'll ever get you out of my system, not completely. I have this... feeling. That you'll always be there. Here." Conrad clawed at his heart and then dropped his hand.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
So are you gonna cry about it like a punk, or are you gonna do something?
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I might have been a fuckup and a failure and a disappointment, but I wasn’t a liar.
I did lie to Belly, though. Just that one time in that crappy motel. I did it to protect her. That’s what I kept telling myself. Still, if there was one moment in my life I could redo, one moment out of all the shitty moments, that was the one I’d pick. When I thought back to the look on her face—the way it just crumpled, how she’d sucked in her lips and wrinkled her nose to keep the hurt from showing—it killed me. God, if I could, I’d go back to that moment and say all the right things, I’d tell her I loved her, I’d make it so that she never look that way again.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
When it's finals week and you've been studying for five hours straight, you need three things to get you through the nigh.The biggest Slurpee you can find,half cherry half Coke.Pajama pants, the kind that have been washed so many times they are tissue-paper thin. And finally,dance breaks. Lots of dance breaks.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Do you remember infinity?”
Slowly, I turned around. “What about it?”
Tossing something toward me, he said, “Catch.”
I reached out and caught it in the air. A silver necklace. I held it up and examined it. The infinity necklace.
It didn’t shine the way it used to; it looked a bit coppery now. But I recognized it. Of course I recognized it.
“What is this?” I asked.
“You know what it is,” he said.
I shrugged. “Nope, sorry.”
I could see that he was both hurt and angry. “Okay, then. You don’t remember it. I’ll remind you. I bought
you that necklace for your birthday.”
My birthday.
It had to have been for my sixteenth birthday. It was the only year he ever forgot to buy me a birthday
present—the last summer we’d all been together at the beach house, when Susannah was still alive.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Hearing him say it now, that is was my birthday present, touched me in the last place I wanted him to touch me. My heart.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I punched my hand through the water. I wanted to kick his ass. 'This is between me and Belly.' Smug piece of shit." - Conrad Fisher
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
He will let you down, because that's what he does. That's who he is.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I loved him in a way you can really on do the first time around. It's the kind of love that doesn't know better and doesn't want to - it's dizzy and foolish and fierce.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I’d stayed away for two years. I had to. I knew I shouldn’t even be at the summer house, because being there, being near her, I would just want what I couldn’t have. It was dangerous. She was the one person I didn’t trust myself around. The day she showed up with Jere, I called my friend Danny to see if I could crash on his couch for a while, and he’d said yes. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I couldn’t leave.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
And after, when it was bedtime, I would sing, “We love you, Conrad, oh yes we do. We love you, Conrad, and we’ll be true” into the bathroom mirror with a mouthful of toothpaste. I would sing my eight-nine-ten-year-old heart out. But I wasn’t singing to Conrad Birdie. I was singing to my Conrad. Conrad Beck Fisher, the boy of my preteen dreams.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
But just because you bury something, that doesn't mean it stops existing. Those feelings, they'd been there all along. All that time. I had to just face it.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
So no, he didn't give me flowers or candy. He gave me the moon and the stars. Infinity.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I sank onto the deck. My heart was pounding a million trillion times a minute. I never felt more alive. Anger, sadness, joy. He made me feel it all. No one else had that kind of effect on me. No one.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I knew that now—that love wasn’t something you could do away with, no matter how hard you tried.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Necesito que sepas que pase lo que pase, ha valido la pena para mí. Estar junto a ti, amarte. Siempre valió la pena.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Maybe that was how it was with all first loves. They own a little piece of your heart, always. Conrad at twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, even seventeen years old. For the rest of my life, I would think of him fondly, the way you do your first pet, the first car you drove. Firsts were important.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
It's a known fact in life that you can't have everything
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
If only summer could last forever.
”
”
Jenny Hanning (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
We were still figuring out how to be in each other's lives without being everything to each other.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I decided Conrad was right after all. Ilsa was meant to be with Laszlo. That was the way it was always supposed to end. Rick was nothing but a tiny piece of her past, a piece that she would always treasure, but that was all, because history is just that. History.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
It’s a known fact that in life, you can’t have everything.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
You were gullible," he said. And then, "When you were really little, you hated carrots. You wouldn't eat them. But then I told you that if you ate carrots, you'd get X-ray vision. And you believed me. You believed everything I said."
I did. I really did.
I believed him when he said that carrots could give me X-ray vision. I believed him when he told me that he'd never cared about me. And then, later that night, when he tried to take it back, I guess I believed him again. Now I didn't know what to believe. I just knew I didn't believe in him anymore.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
When did you know you were in love?"
I didn't have an answer to that question. There hadn't been one specific moment. It was like gradually waking up. You go from being asleep to the space between dreaming and awake and then into consciousness. It's a slow process, but when you're awake, there's no mistaking it.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
It’s the kind of love that doesn’t know better and doesn’t want to—it’s dizzy and foolish and fierce.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
He acted like he didn't hear me. "He will let you down, because that's what he does. That's who he is."
For the rest of my life, I was going to remember those words. Everything Jeremiah said to me that day, our wedding day, I would remember. I would remember the words Jeremiah said and the way he looked at me with them. With pity, and with bitterness. I hated myself for being the one who made him bitter, because that was one thing he'd never been.
I reached up and laid my palm on his cheek. He could have pushed my hand away, he could have recoiled at my touch. He didn't. Just that one tiny thing told me what I needed to know - that Jere was still Jere and nothing could ever change that.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
We never did see a shooting star, but it didn't matter to me one bit. Before the night was over I said, this is one of my top moments. He said mine too.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
If I kept you with me, I was going to hurt you somehow. I knew it. I couldn't have it. So I let you go.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Tonight, it's—the is like--” I searched for the right word to encapsulate how it made me feel, how beautiful it was. “Lying here and looking up at the stars like this, it makes me feel like I'm lying on a planet. It's so wide. So infinite.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I loved him in a way that you really can only do the first time around. It's the kind of love that doesn't know better, and doesn't want to- it's dizzy, and foolish and fierce. That kind of love is really a one-time-only thing.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Hans axlar skakade. Han grät. Det kändes som om hjärtat skulle brista i mig när jag hörde honom vädja så där, när jag såg honom så blottad och sårbar.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
So no, he didn’t give me flowers or candy. He gave me the moon and the stars. Infinity.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer, #3))
“
This is our start. This is the moment it becomes real. We are married. We are infinite.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Looking up at him, I had this sudden thought. Oh my God. I still love you.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer, #3))
“
Interplanetary dust,” I repeated, liking the feel of the words on my tongue.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Somewhere outside, a goldfinch was singing. Or maybe it was a song sparrow. My dad tried to teach me different kinds of bird songs, but I couldn't quite remember.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Smiling, he said, “Did you know that astronomers call them interplanetary dust?
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
That night, I didn't sleep at all. I stayed up, thinking about what to do. What was the right thing to do? Because I knew I loved you. But I knew I shouldn't. I didn't have the right to love anybody then.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
It was turning it into a secret that gave it power.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Girls with boyfriends, she'd said, limit themselves to a certain kind of college experience.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Él no me dio flores o dulces. Me dio la luna y las estrellas. El infinito.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer, #3))
“
He was going to be my last and my every and my always.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
We're always looking for the full open leaf, the open warmth, the promise that we'll one day soon surely be able to lie back and have summer done to us; one day soon we'll be treated well by the world.
”
”
Ali Smith (Summer (Seasonal Quartet, #4))
“
For a while we pretended
That we never had to end it
But we knew we'd have to say goodbye
You were crying at the airport
When they finally closed the plane door
I could barely hold it all inside
Torn in two
And I know I shouldn't tell you
But I just can't stop thinking of you
Wherever you are
You
Wherever you are
Every night I almost call you
Just to say it always will be you
Wherever you are
I could fly a thousand oceans
But there's nothing that compares to
What we had, and so I walk alone
I wish I didn't have to be gone
Maybe you've already moved on
But the truth is I don't want to know
Torn in two
And I know I shouldn't tell you
But I just can't stop thinking of you
Wherever you are
You
Wherever you are
Every night I almost call you
Just to say it always will be you
Wherever you are
You can say we'll be together
Someday
Nothing lasts forever
Nothing stays the same
So why can't I stop feeling this way
Torn in two
And I know I shouldn't tell you
But I just can't stop thinking of you
Wherever you are
You
Wherever you are
Every night I almost call you
Just to say it always will be you
Wherever you are
”
”
5 Seconds of Summer
“
What else had I remembered wrong? I was a person who loved to play Remember When in my head. I’d always prided myself on how I remembered every detail. It scared me to think that my memories could be just ever-so-slightly wrong.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
I didn't know where I was going, I just wanted to get away from him. He called out, "I still love you." I froze. And then slowly, I turned around to look at him. "Don't say that." He took a step closer. "I don't know if I'll ever get you out of my system, not completely. I have ... this feeling. That you'll always be there. Here." Conrad clawed at his heart and then dropped his hand.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
When did you guys even start speaking again?”
Ernie shrugged and popped a peanut into his mouth. “He’s probably just sniffing around here so I leave him my property when I kick it.” He drank his beer and leaned back into his easy chair. “Eh, he’s a good kid. My sister’s only son. He’s family. Family’s family. Never forget that, Conrad.”
“Ernie, two commercial breaks ago, you told me that if I didn’t try and break up my brother’s wedding, I was a punk!”
Picking at his teeth, Ernie said, “If a girl’s the one, all bets are off, family or no family.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Even now, all these years later, I still read them—Conrad’s letters to me when I was studying abroad in Spain. Just every once in a while, I pull them all out and sit down and read each one. I know them all by heart, but they still touch me, they still make me feel it all over again.… To think that once we were both very young, and very far apart, and still finding our way back to each other.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer, #3))
“
There are moments in every girl's life, that are bigger than we know at the time. When you look back, you say, that was one of those life-changing fork-in-the-road moments and I didn't even see it coming. I had no idea. And then there are the moments that you know are big. That whatever you do next, there will be an impact. Your life could go in one of two directions, Do or die.
This is one of those moments. Big. They didn't get much bigger than this.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
And summer's surely really all about an imagined end. We head for it instinctually like it must mean something. We're always looking for it, looking it, heading towards it all year, the way a horizon holds the promise of a sunset. We're always looking for the full open leaf, the open warmth, the promise that we'll one day soon surely be able to lie back and have summer done to us; one day soon we’ll be treated well by the world. Like there really is a kinder finale and it's not just possible but assured, there's a natural harmony that'll be spread at your feet, unrolled like a sunlit landscape just for you. As if what it was always all about, your time on earth, was the full happy stretch of all the muscles of the body on a warmed patch of grass, one long sweet stem of that grass in the mouth.
Care free.
What a thought.
Summer.
”
”
Ali Smith (Summer (Seasonal Quartet, #4))
“
I was nodding. I took the necklace from him. "I'm sorry for screwing everything up. I hurt you again, and for that I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't want to do that anymore. So ... I'm not going to stay for the wedding. I'm just going to take off now. I won't see you again. Not for a long time. Probably for the best. Being near you like this, it hurts. And Jere" - Conrad cleared his throat and stepped backward, making the space between us - "he's the one who needs you." I bit my lip to keep from crying. Hoarsely, he said, "I need you to know that no matter what happens, it was worth it to me. Being with you, loving you. It was all worth it." Then he said, "I wish you both the best. Take good care of each other." ... He came up and kissed me on my forehead, and before he stepped away, I closed my eyes and tried to memorize this moment ... Then he was gone.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
One last dance.
We’re both quiet. It’s not over yet. We still have the whole summer ahead. But high school, the two of us here together, Lara Jean and Peter as we are today, that part is done. We’ll never be here exactly like this again.
I’m wondering if he’s feeling sad too, and then he whispers, “Check out Gabe over there trying to casually rest his hand on Keisha’s butt.”
He turns me slightly so I can see. Gabe’s hand is indeed hovering at Keisha Wood’s lower back/butt area, like an indecisive butterfly looking for a landing spot. I giggle. This is why I like Peter so much. He sees things I don’t see.
“I know what our song should be,” he says.
“What?”
And then, like magic, Al Green’s voice fills the hotel ballroom. “Let’s Stay Together.”
“You made them play this,” I accuse. I’m tearing up a little bit.
He grins. “It’s fate.”
Whatever you want to do…is all right with me-ee-ee.
Peter takes my hand and puts it on his heart. “Let’s, let’s stay together,” he sings. His voice is clear and true, everything I love about him.
”
”
Jenny Han (Always and Forever, Lara Jean (To All the Boys I've Loved Before, #3))
“
We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire.
The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza. He said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."
This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have. Stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy.
”
”
Crystal Boyd
“
When I couldn’t take the hunger anymore, I called Taylor and told her everything. She screamed so loud, I had to hold the phone away from my ear. She came right over with a black-bean burrito and a strawberry-banana smoothie. She kept shaking her head and saying, “That Zeta Phi slut.”
“It wasn’t just her, it was him, too,” I said, between bites of my burrito.
“Oh, I know. Just you wait. I’m gonna drag my nails across his face when I see him. I’ll leave him so scarred, no girl will ever hook up with him again.” She inspected her manicured nails like they were artillery. “When I go to the salon tomorrow, I’m gonna tell Danielle to make them sharp.”
My heart swelled. There are some things only a friend who’s known you your whole life can say, and instantly, I felt a little better. “You don’t have to scar him.”
“But I want to.” She hooked her pinky finger with mine. “Are you okay?”
I nodded. “Better, now that you’re here.”
When I was sucking down the last of my smoothie, Taylor asked me, “Do you think you’ll take him back?”
I was surprised and really relieved not to hear any judgement to her voice. “What would you do?” I asked her.
“It’s up to you.”
“I know, but…would you take him back?”
“Under ordinary circumstances, no. If some guy cheated on me while we were on a break, if he so much as looked at another girl, no. He’d be donzo.” She chewed on her straw. “But Jeremy’s not some guy. You have a history together.”
“What happened to all that talk about scarring him?”
“Don’t get it twisted, I hate him to death right now. He effed up in a colossal way. But he’ll never be just some guy, not to you. That’s a fact.”
I didn’t say anything. But I knew she was right.
“I could still round up my sorority sisters and go slash his tires tonight.” Taylor bumped my shoulder. “Hmm? Whaddyathink?”
She was trying to make me laugh. It worked. I laughed for the first time in what felt like a long time.
”
”
Jenny Han (We'll Always Have Summer (Summer #3))
“
Loftus grew up with a cold father who taught her nothing about love but everything about angles. A mathematician, he showed her the beauty of the triangle's strong tip, the circumference of the circle, the rigorous mission of calculus. Her mother was softer, more dramatic, prone to deep depressions. Loftus tells all this to me with little feeling "I have no feelings about this right now," she says, "but when I'm in the right space I could cry." I somehow don't believe her; she seems so far from real tears, from the original griefs, so immersed in the immersed in the operas of others. Loftus recalls her father asking her out to see a play, and in the car, coming home at night, the moon hanging above them like a stopwatch, tick tick, her father saying to her, "You know, there's something wrong with your mother. She'll never be well again. Her father was right. When Loftus was fourteen, her mother drowned in the family swimming pool. She was found floating face down in the deep end, in the summer. The sun was just coming up, the sky a mess of reds and bruise. Loftus recalls the shock, the siren, an oxygen mask clamped over her mouth as she screamed, "Mother mother mother," hysteria. That is a kind of drowning. "I loved her," Loftus says. "Was it suicide?" I ask. She says, "My father thinks so.
Every year when I go home for Christmas, my brothers and I think about it, but we'll never know," she says. Then she says, "It doesn't matter." "What doesn't matter?" I ask. "Whether it was or it wasn't," she says. "It doesn't matter because it's all going to be okay." Then I hear nothing on the line but some static. on the line but some static. "You there?" I say. "Oh I'm here," she says. "Tomorrow I'm going to Chicago, some guy on death row, I'm gonna save him. I gotta go testify. Thank God I have my work," she says. "You've always had your work," I say. "Without it," she says, "Where would I be?
”
”
Lauren Slater (Opening Skinner's Box: Great Psychological Experiments of the Twentieth Century)
“
Todd wrapped his arm around her. They stood together in silent awe, watching the sunset. All Christy could think of was how this was what she had always wanted, to be held in Todd's arms as well as in his heart.
Just as the last golden drop of sun melted into the ocean, Christy closed her eyes and drew in a deep draught of the sea air.
"Did you know," Todd said softly, "that the setting sun looks so huge from the island of Papua New Guinea that it almost looks like you're on another planet? I've seen pictures."
Then, as had happened with her reflection in her cup of tea and in her disturbing dream, Christy heard those two piercing words, "Let go."
She knew what she had to do. Turning to face Todd, she said, "Pictures aren't enough for you, Todd. You have to go."
"I will. Someday. Lord willing," he said casually.
"Don't you see, Todd? The Lord is willing. This is your 'someday.' Your opportunity to go on the mission field is now. You have to go."
Their eyes locked in silent communion.
"God has been telling me something, Todd. He's been telling me to let you go. I don't want to, but I need to obey Him."
Todd paused. "Maybe I should tell them I can only go for the summer. That way I'll only be gone a few months. A few weeks, really. We'll be back together in the fall."
Christy shook her head. "It can't be like that, Todd. You have to go for as long as God tells you to go. And as long as I've known you, God has been telling you to go. His mark is on your life, Todd. It's obvious. You need to obey Him."
"Kilikina," Todd said, grasping Christy by the shoulders, "do you realize what you're saying? If I go, I may never come back."
"I know." Christy's reply was barely a whisper. She reached for the bracelet on her right wrist and released the lock. Then taking Todd's hand, she placed the "Forever" bracelet in his palm and closed his fingers around it.
"Todd," she whispered, forcing the words out, "the Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make His face to shine upon you and give you His peace. And may you always love Jesus more than anything else. Even more than me."
Todd crumbled to the sand like a man who had been run through with a sword. Burying his face in his hands, he wept.
Christy stood on wobbly legs. What have I done? Oh, Father God, why do I have to let him go?
Slowly lowering her quivering body to the sand beside Todd, Christy cried until all she could taste was the salty tears on her lips.
They drove the rest of the way home in silence. A thick mantle hung over them, entwining them even in their separation. To Christy it seemed like a bad dream. Someone else had let go of Todd. Not her! He wasn't really going to go.
They pulled into Christy's driveway, and Todd turned off the motor. Without saying anything, he got out of Gus and came around to Christy's side to open the door for her. She stepped down and waited while he grabbed her luggage from the backseat. They walked to the front door.
Todd stopped her under the trellis of wildly fragrant white jasmine. With tears in his eyes, he said in a hoarse voice, "I'm keeping this." He lifted his hand to reveal the "Forever" bracelet looped between his fingers. "If God ever brings us together again in this world, I'm putting this back on your wrist, and that time, my Kilikina, it will stay on forever."
He stared at her through blurry eyes for a long minute, and then without a hug, a kiss, or even a good-bye, Todd turned to go. He walked away and never looked back.
”
”
Robin Jones Gunn (Sweet Dreams (Christy Miller, #11))