Viking Funny Quotes

Jack followed me around the deck, alternating between Abba hits (Vikings are huge Abba fans) and telling me stories about the old days when he and Frey would roam the Nine Worlds, spreading sunshine and happiness and occasionally killing people.

My traitorous vagina was putting on war paint and blowing a Viking horn like it was about to go ransack Jacob's village.

Let her go in with him." (...) "Actually, I feel quite endangered by her presence. Dont you, Lila?" "Absolutely," said Lila. "She terrifies me. Right Sean?" "Shit." Sean wiped a hand over his face. (...) Lila raised her eyebrows and the Viking groaned in defeat. "Never been so scared in my life. She's so small and ...wounded." "Please, Finn," said Ali, her eyes full of warmth and good humor. "Save us. You're our last hope." "F***ing ridiculous." Finn pulled a set of keys out of his pocket and shoved one into the lock.

I, a half naked German, was about to be discovered by her cruel Viking dad in his own bedroom, having smudged his daughter just hours ago. Full of gratitude I contemplated that I would at least not die a virgin.