Vanessa Van Edwards Quotes

Being a highlighter is about constantly searching for the good in people. When you tell people they are good, they become better. When you search for what’s good, you feel great.

Next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival—to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated. —Stephen Covey

When you try to be the same as everyone else, it’s boring. When you try to fit into a mold, you become forgettable. When you try to be “normal,” you become dull. Just be yourself, because no one is like you. If you’re a little weird, own it. The right people will like you for it.

If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.

Whether we like to admit it or not, we decide if we like someone, if we trust someone, and if we want a relationship with someone within the first few seconds of meeting them.

Don’t try to impress people, let them impress you.

There is an African proverb that says: If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.

Vulnerability is sexy—it shows we are relatable, honest, and real. That is attractive. And the science proves it: “A blunder tends to humanize him and, consequently, increases his attractiveness.”5

When someone does a kindness for you, they are more likely to like you.6 This is dubbed the Franklin effect.

With a first impression, you are a Triple Threat when you use your hands, your posture, and your eye contact. These are the three nonverbal weapons you can use to pass through all three levels of trust.

Leading people is about communicating a mission and then letting them take part in it. If you want to motivate a colleague, empower a team, or inspire a friend, all you have to do is figure out how to give them ownership.

When you produce dopamine during a conversation, you not only give your partner more enjoyment, you are also assigned more significance, which increases your memorability.

Most people’s choices make sense to them. When they don’t make sense to you, it’s usually because you are being driven by a different primary value.

people skills are the social lubricant of life.

In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and—SNAP—the job’s a game. —Mary Poppins

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When you Name, Understand, and Transform someone out of their difficulty, you become their ally.

trying to get to the root of her fear. This helps him comprehend what’s going on and allows her to sort out her emotions. Once she feels heard and validated, then she moves into stage two of the NUT Job: understanding.

Humans are purpose-driven creatures. We want to believe there are reasons behind everything we do. Before leaders can inspire action, they have to get emotional buy-in. When we explain the motivations behind a goal, it allows listeners to feel partial ownership of that goal.

Instead of randomly delegating or hoping people will self-select, you want to divide the list by skills. This highlights people’s abilities so they feel capable, as opposed to burdened. To do this, use what I call Skill Solicitation. Skill Solicitation is when you ask people to self-identify based on capability: Is anyone good at _____? Do you know anything about _____? I need someone who is strong with ______.

The power of our first impression lies not in what we say, but how we say it. The most popular TED Talkers leveled up their audiences before even getting to their big idea. They did this by using what I call: HACK #2: The Triple Threat Make a powerful first impression by nonverbally hacking all three levels of trust.

Assume intimacy with people before you have it.

Just be yourself, because no one is like you. If you’re a little weird, own it. The right people will like you for it.

They remembered more when the story was printed in Comic Sans compared to Arial or Bodoni fonts.