“
Me: Not happening.
Him: How bout tmrw night? I’m free at eight.
Me: Can’t. I have the Spanish Flu. Highly contagious. I just saved your life, dude.
Him: Aw, I appreciate the concern. But I’m immune to pandemics that wiped out 40-mil ppl from 1918 to 1919.
Me: How is it u know so much about pandemics?
Him: I’m a history major, baby. I know tons of useless facts.
”
”