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Fear never keeps anyone safe
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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No matter how far you have run, no matter how long you have been lost, it is never too late to be found.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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No one ever told you what to do when love went away. It was always about capturing love, and keeping love. Not about watching it walk out the door to die alone rather than in your arms.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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(She) didn't believe in resilience. She believed in imagination.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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She said we are all part of a secret club. Someday, she said, we will take over the earth. It will be people like us that save the world, she said: those who have walked the side of sorrow and seen the dawn.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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Hope springs eternal. Just remember: so does evil. Sometimes they are impossible to tell apart.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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America was an iceberg shattered into a billion fragments, and on each stood a person, rotating like an ice floe in a storm.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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In the years since, she had discovered the sacrament of life did not demand memory. Like a leaf that drank from the morning dew, you didnβt question the morning sunrise or the sweet taste on your mouth. You just drank.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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Everyone needs faith: faith that even though the world is full of evil, a suitor will come and kiss us awake; faith that the girl will escape the tower, the big bad wolf will die, and even those poisoned by malevolence can be reborn, as innocent as purity itself.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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She knelt over the grave, until her nose was touching the dirt. βWhen you are ready to inhabit a new skin,β she said, βwe will be waiting for you.
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β
Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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Snow girl was glad she had left her own feelings behind.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
β
But he saw Naomi as the wind traveling over the field, always searching, never stopping, and never knowing that true piece is when you curl around one little piece of something. One little fern. One little frond. One person to love.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
β
Shame was a peculiar beast, Naomi knew. She suspected everyone had it: the dragon they wanted to slay. But for her it was different. Naomi wanted to bathe in it, to stand under its waterfall and come out blessed.
β
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
β
There are so many of us now that we threaten to devour the world with our touching, starting with the things we adore most. At the same time, we obviously yearn for contact, and I fear what would happen if we were cut off from a distinctive, on-the-ground relationship with the past.
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Craig Childs (Finders Keepers: A Tale of Archaeological Plunder and Obsession)
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Youβre not swimming in glory until you find someone to swim with you. Glory isnβt glory if you donβt have someone to share it with. Itβs just pride and bullshit on your own.β
Unbelievable. Will Jones wasnβt only one badass cowboy; he pretty much could have been the love child of John Wayne and Yoda.
β
β
Nicole Williams (Finders Keepers (Lost & Found, #3))
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It will be people like us that save the world, she said: those who have walked the side of sorrow and seen the dawn.
β
β
Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
β
This is something I know: no matter how far you have run, no matter how long you have been lost, it is never too late to be found.
β
β
Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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Stop thinking that you have to know everything to understand it.
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β
Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
β
Everyone was harmless until you knew better.
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β
Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
β
The moon, B had noticed, awakened the dawn, and so the two β like pale cousins β never saw each other. Even on the most hopeful of days the moon could only peep, from a distant sky, at the sun.
β
β
Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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Each child she found was a molecule, a part of herself still remaining in the scary world she had left behind.
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β
Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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Are the stories we tell ourselves true or based on what we dream them to be?
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β
Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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Outside a pale dawn threaded the sky with silver.
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β
Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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Regrets?β Diane asked cheerfully. She made a gusty little sandwich out of crackers and cheese.
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β
Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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Be careful the purpose doesn't destroy you.
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β
Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
β
She stopped by an empty field, the soil abandoned, gone to mustard weed and grass. Lush bundles of crimson clover lined the fence. At the far end was a cluster of trees. As always, her eyes sought movement at the edge of the woods.
β
β
Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
β
But he saw Naomi as the wind traveling over the field, always searching, never stopping, and never knowing that true peace is when you curl around one little piece of something. One little fern. One little frond. One person to love.
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β
Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
β
Det er sΓ₯ lidt kΓ¦rlighed i verden, at vi fremfor alt mΓ₯ elske den, som de andre har overset. Den det er et arbejde at elske, den vi inderst inde finder afskyelig, fordi han forhinder os i at have det behageligt. Den lidende, den forurettede, den Γ₯ndeligt armodige, og det anonyme barn der hver morgen mΓ₯ sette sig pΓ₯ plads ved en skolepult, der stinker kvΓ¦lende af mange generationers angst.
There is so little love in the world that we must above all love those that others have overlooked. The ones it's a chore to love, the ones we find deep down disgusting because they prevent us from feeling comfortable. The suffering, the aggrieved, the spiritually impoverished, and the anonymous child who every morning has to sit down at a school desk with the suffocating stench of many generations of fear.
Ansigtene
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Tove Ditlevsen
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I'm afraid," she confessed, her voice quiet.
"Of what?"
"That if the box is opened I might want and want and never be filled." She took a breath. "That you will get tired of filling it." She paused and spoke her deepest fear, turning to his ear. "That you will use me and throw me away.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
β
When she finally reached it, she bent forward and looked through the peephole.
Jay was grinning back at her from outside.
Her heart leaped for a completely different reason.
She set aside her crutches and quickly unbolted the door to open it.
"What took you so long?"
Her knee was bent and her ankle pulled up off the ground. She balanced against the doorjamb. "What d'you think, dumbass?" she retorted smartly, keeping her voice down so she wouldn't alert her parents. "You scared the crap out of me, by the way. My parents are already in bed, and I was all alone down here."
"Good!" he exclaimed as he reached in and grabbed her around the waist, dragging her up against him and wrapping his arms around her.
She giggled while he held her there, enjoying everything about the feel of him against her. "What are you doing here? I thought I wouldn't see you till tomorrow."
"I wanted to show you something!" He beamed at her, and his enthusiasm reached out to capture her in its grip. She couldn't help smiling back excitedly.
"What is it?" she asked breathlessly.
He didn't release her; he just turned, still holding her gently in his arms, so that she could see out into the driveway. The first thing she noticed was the officer in his car, alert now as he kept a watchful eye on the two of them. Violet realized that it was late, already past eleven, and from the look on his face, she thought he must have been hoping for a quiet, uneventful evening out there.
And then she saw the car. It was beautiful and sleek, painted a glossy black that, even in the dark, reflected the light like a polished mirror. Violet recognized the Acura insignia on the front of the hood, and even though she could tell it wasn't brand-new, it looked like it had been well taken care of.
"Whose is it?" she asked admiringly. It was way better than her crappy little Honda.
Jay grinned again, his face glowing with enthusiasm. "It's mine. I got it tonight. That's why I had to go. My mom had the night off, and I wanted to get it before..." He smiled down at her. "I didn't want to borrow your car to take you to the dance."
"Really?" she breathed. "How...? I didn't even know you were..." She couldn't seem to find the right words; she was envious and excited for him all at the same time.
"I know right?" he answered, as if she'd actually asked coherent questions. "I've been saving for...for forever, really. What do you think?"
Violet smiled at him, thinking that he was entirely too perfect for her. "I think it's beautiful," she said with more meaning than he understood. And then she glanced back at the car. "I had no idea that you were getting a car. I love it, Jay," she insisted, wrapping her arms around his neck as he hoisted her up, cradling her like a small child."
"I'd offer to take you for a test-drive, but I'm afraid that Supercop over there would probably Taser me with his stun gun. So you'll have to wait until tomorrow," he said, and without waiting for an invitation he carried her inside, dead bolting the door behind him.
He settled down on the couch, where she'd been sitting by herself just moments before, without letting her go. There was a movie on the television, but neither of them paid any attention to it as Jay reclined, stretching out and drawing her down into the circle of his arms. They spent the rest of the night like that, cradled together, their bodies fitting each other perfectly, as they kissed and whispered and laughed quietly in the darkness.
At some point Violet was aware that she was drifting into sleep, as her thoughts turned dreamlike, becoming disjointed and fuzzy and hard to hold on to. She didn't fight it; she enjoyed the lazy, drifting feeling, along with the warmth created by the cocoon of Jay's body wrapped protectively around her.
It was the safest she'd felt in days...maybe weeks...
And for the first time since she'd been chased by the man in the woods, her dreams were free from monsters.
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Kimberly Derting (The Body Finder (The Body Finder, #1))
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Listen,β I said. βThere was once this legendary French acrobat named Charles Blondin, okay? He was famous in the nineteenth century for doing these impossible daredevil tightrope-walking stunts. He strung a rope across Niagara Falls, a thousand feet long. And this crowd gathered and he walked on the tightrope over the falls, hundreds of feet above the gorge, and the crowd went crazy when he got to the other side, clapping and cheering.β Gabe gave me a skeptical glance. βYeah?β βAnd then he said to the crowd, βDo you believe I can do it again?β and the crowd cheered, βYes!β And he did it. And the crowd cheered even louder, and he said, βDo you believe I can do it wearing a blindfold?β And some people in the crowd got scared and shouted, βNo, donβt do it,β and others said, βYes! You can do it!ββ βAnd he fell,β Gabe said. I shook my head. βHe did it, and the crowd cheered even louder, and he said, βDo you believe I can do it on stilts this time?β And the crowd shouted out, βYes! You can do it!β And he did it, and the crowd roared and got even wilder. So then he said, βDo you believe I can do it pushing a wheelbarrow along the rope?β And the crowd roared and cheered and said, βYes!β And Blondin said, βYou really think I can? You believe it?β And they shouted, βYes! Yes, you can!β β Despite himself, despite his teenage cynicism, he was actually listening. For a moment he almost seemed to be a child again, listening to a bedtime story. βIs this true?β βYes.β βHe actually did it?β βYep. He did it. He walked across the tightrope hundreds of feet above the gorge pushing a wheelbarrow, and when he made it to the other side the audience had grown huge and frenzied and totally worked up and they cheered. Really went crazy. So Blondin said, βDo you believe I can do it again but this time pushing a man in this wheelbarrow?β And the crowd roared and said, βYes!β He said, βYou really believe I can do it?β And they all went, βYes, definitely! You can do it! We believe in you! Yes! Absolutely!β By that time the crowd was completely behind him. They thought he could do anything. So Blondin said, βThen who will volunteer to sit in the wheelbarrow?β And the crowd suddenly went quiet. Totally silent. And he said, βWhatβs the matter? You donβt believe in me anymore?β And they were silent for a long time before someone from the crowd finally said, βYes, we believe in you. But not that much.β β βHuh. Did anyone ever volunteer to get in the wheelbarrow?β I shrugged. βHowβd the guy die?β βIn bed. Forty years later. From diabetes.
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Joseph Finder (Vanished (Nick Heller, #1))
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Are you trying to talk your way into my bed?β she asked, her voice thick with emotion. βNo.β His voice sounded warm. βIβm trying to talk my way into your heart.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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Her entire life she had been running from terrifying shadows she could no longer seeβand in escape she ran straight into life. In the years since, she had discovered the sacrament of life did not demand memory. Like a leaf that drank from the morning dew, you didnβt question the morning sunrise or the sweet taste on your mouth. You just drank.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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guess?β Naomi sank into a chair. βJerome,β she
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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This is something I know: no matter how far you have run, no matter how long you have been lost, it is never too late to be found.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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A farm without stock, a home without children. The world here was dying.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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Her entire life she had been running from terrifying shadows she could no longer see - and in escape she ran straight into life.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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Death hit people differently. She was getting by. He had all but given up.
There was no middle ground as woman. She was used to it, but it still pissed her off. Frigid, or a slag. Girly, or one of the boys. Hrad, or emotionally unstable.
When USA sneezed , the UK caught the cold.
Her face was often difficult to read, but at that moment it told him whatever McEvoy found Margie Knight o not, she'd tear every dodgy sauna, massage parlour and tin-pot knocking shop in the city apart trying.
It might have been a few minutes, it might have been an hour, when he heard Holland's voice...
The mood she is in right now, Holland, if you're so much as suggest that it might be her time of the month, I'm guessing she'll kill you on the spot.
I think the poison inside me has eaten away every ounce of courage there might ever have been. I need to find just a little more.
"Look, I'm getting tired of saying sorry"
"Well I'm not tired of hearing you say it, OK?"
Maybe they bred them somewhere, taught then how to put their hair in a bun and look down their pointed noses, before sending them out into the world with a pair of bug glasses, a fondness for tweed and something uncomfortable up their backside.
"I'm going to kill Holland. No, I'm going to make him listen to some proper country music and then I'm going to kill him."
"Actually, fuck that, the music would be wasted on him anyway. I'll just kill him."
"fuckfuckbullocksfuck..."
"What? I make you sick? I make you want to hurt me?"
"You knock, you wait, you get asked to come in, you come in. It's pretty bloody straightforward."
...sat at home like Tom Throne, trying to keep the rest of the world well away.
Police officer and prison staff are old enemies. The finders and the keepers resenting each other.
'Everybody says it switches around when you get old and they have to look after you. The parent becomes the child...It's non sense though., it really is. Even when they're cooking for you and getting your shopping in, you know? Even when they're doing up the buttons on your pyjamas and pretending to listen to your stupid stories, even when they're wiping your arse, you're still the father--It never stops, never. You're still the father and he's still the son. Still the son...'
A thin layer across the top of the cistern in the ladies, invisible unless used in some of the more drugs-conscious clubs.
...Depending on how it looks, thy either do nothing, or break it again, re-set it.'
'Do they need volunteers?'
"Don't talk to me. Not like that, do you understand? Not 'are you all right?' Not 'sorry'..."
"I don't..."
"Talk to me like a murdered."
Holland couldn't believe what he was hearing. Palmer?
'Sorry?' Throne shouted. 'Fucking sorry...?'
'Shut your fucking stupid cunt's mouth. I will kill you, is that clear? I'm not afraid, certainly not of you. I don't care what happens. He can shoot the pair of us, I don't give a fuck. But if I hear so much as a breath coming out of you before this is finished, a single poisonous whisper, I'll rip your face off with my bare hands. I'll take it clean off, Nicklin, I'll make you another nice, new identity...
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Mark Billingham (Scaredy Cat (Tom Thorne, #2))
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The land beyond rose into dizzying mountains. Far across the way a frozen waterfall resembled a charging lion. The trees were shrouded in white, a vision of the heavens.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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Naomi felt very small, hiking through this endless dark forest. Fresh snow dusted the ground.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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Every day I donβt kill the woman, I admire her more.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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But her favorite state was right here, home in prickly Oregon, where every turn of the road seemed to bring her to an entirely different vista.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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In the years since, she had discovered the sacrament of life did not demand memory.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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Love wasnβt about numbers, Naomi realized then. It wasnβt about selling yourself or wanting anything in return. It wasnβt about hoping for safety. It was justβ That purr.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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Remember when we used to share our secrets?" he asked. The moon captured a handsome face, full of longing. His dark hair brushed his shoulders.
"The Stone," she laughed.
"I loved you then. I loved you no matter where you came from. No - scratch that." His voice floated up to her. "I loved you because you came from wherever it was. It must have been a magic place, to produce you.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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Not everyone likes a ceiling,β her mommy said. βSome of us like the sky.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))
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His mild efforts at curiosity had been rebuffed--not with coldness but with her single-minded focus on her cases. And yet he could sense something deeply vulnerable about her. It was that part of her that spoke to his soul. He wasn't a ledge talker for nothing.
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Rene Denfeld (The Child Finder (Naomi Cottle, #1))