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The fact that I forgo having a father precisely because I do not recognize him as my genitor is an altogether different matter. I seek a man for whom I can feel respect. This is possible even in Eumeswil, albeit exceptional. One finds spiritual foster fathers. The bonds one forms with them are stronger than those of blood.
Of course, such a statement must be handled with care, for a material substratum will always be present. In this respect, one owes one's father the link to an infinite network. In the act of procreation, he celebrates a mystery that is unknown even to him. His intrinsic nature might perish in it. Thus, we could be more closely related to an uncle or a distant forebear than to him. Genealogists and also biologists are familiar with such surprises; they often shatter their system. The genetic burden is endless; it reaches all the way into the inanimate world. It can bring forth creatures that died out long ago.
This digression may indicate why I prefer adoption to natural kinship. The fatherhood becomes spiritual; we are chosen relaÂtives and not natural ones. Thus, Eros must also prevail in spiriÂtual kinship; adoption is a more sublime repetition of godfatherÂing. We pick the godfather, the pater spiritualis; and he recognizes himself in us—he accepts us. That is a contact to which we owe life, albeit in a different, an—I dare say—immortal manner. I do not wish to speak of the heart; this is not the right place.
My birth and the surroundings in which I was put may explain why I felt this kinship with three academic teachers, three profesÂsors. If I had had a vocation for craft, art, religion, war, I would have had different models—and different ones again had I opted for a criminal career.
During the tuna fishing, I watch the rais and his fishermen performing the drudgery; their obedience is simply the equipÂment of the trust that binds them to him; he is their leader, they have elected him. More fatherhood is to be felt here—even when he treats them severely—than when I sit with my old man, who swims in stagnant waters.
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