Susan Jeffers Quotes

Feel the fear and do it anyway!

The less you need someone's approval, the more you are able to love them.

Taking responsibility means never blaming anyone else for anything you are being, doing, having, or feeling.

THE ONLY WAY TO GET RID OF THE FEAR OF DOING SOMETHING IS TO GO OUT AND DO IT.

Patience means knowing it will happen . . . and giving it time to happen.

security is not having things; it’s handling things.

We fear beginnings; we fear endings. We fear changing; we fear “staying stuck.” We fear success; we fear failure. We fear living; we fear dying.

Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the fear which comes from the feeling of helplessness.

I will handle it

WHEN WE GIVE FROM A PLACE OF LOVE, RATHER THAN FROM A PLACE OF EXPECTATION, MORE USUALLY COMES BACK TO US THAN WE COULD HAVE EVER IMAGINED.

Every time you encounter something that forces you to “handle it,” your self-esteem is raised considerably. You learn to trust that you will survive, no matter what happens. And in this way your fears are diminished immeasurably.

Remember that underlying all our fears is a lack of trust in ourselves.

IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD HANDLE ANYTHING THAT CAME YOUR WAY, WHAT WOULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE TO FEAR? The answer is: NOTHING!

It is a paradox. The less you need someone’s approval, the more you are able to love them.

We have been taught to believe that negative equals realistic and positive equals unrealistic

Taking responsibility means not blaming yourself.

… when you blame any outside force for any of your experience of life, you are literally giving away all your power and thus creating pain, paralysis and depression.

If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.

Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.

The biggest pitfall as you make your way through life is impatience. Remember that being impatient is simply a way of punishing yourself. It creates stress, dissatisfaction, and fear.

One step at a time is enough for me. Impatience is simply a way of beating yourself up. (from Kammy haynes)

… the secret in handling fear is to move yourself from a position of pain to a position of power.

THE FEAR WILL NEVER GO AWAY AS LONG AS I CONTINUE TO GROW.

For many of us, the people we find most difficult to praise are the ones closest to us—our mates, our children, our parents, and sometimes our friends.

Take a risk a day - one small or bold stroke that will make you feel great once you have done it.

Negative thoughts take away your power …

A self-assured woman who is in control of her life draws like a magnet. She is so filled with positive energy that people want to be around her.

Say YES to life. Participate. Move. Act. Write. Read. Sign up. Take a stand. Or do whatever it takes for you. Get involved in the process.

We have been taught to believe that negative equals realistic and positive equals unrealistic. SUSAN JEFFERS

The only time you will fear anything is when you say no and resist the universe. You may have heard the expression “Go with the flow.” This means consciously accepting what is happening in your life.

Trust your feelings. If the path you’re on isn’t providing you joy, satisfaction, creativity, love, and caring, that’s not it.

Finding out what you don’t like is, paradoxically, as valuable as finding out what you do like.

As I began to do things on my own, I began to taste the deliciousness of an emerging self-confidence.

all my life I have never heard a mother call out to her child as he or she goes off to school, “Take a lot of risks today, darling.” She is more likely to convey to her child, “Be careful, darling.” This “Be careful” carries with it a double message: “The world is really dangerous out there” … and … “you won’t be able to handle it.” What Mom is really saying, of course, is, “If something happens to you, I won’t be able to handle it.” You see, she is only passing on her lack of trust in her ability to handle what comes her way.

THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU CAN HANDLE ANYTHING THAT COMES YOUR WAY IS THE KEY TO ALLOWING YOURSELF TO TAKE HEALTHY, LIFE-AFFIRMING RISKS.

... life is an ongoing process of learning.

ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF PAIN IS VERY IMPORTANT; DENIAL IS DEADLY.

WHY CHOOSE TO BE RIGHT INSTEAD OF HAPPY WHEN THERE IS NO WAY TO BE RIGHT?

... things such as losing a job, the death of a loved one, divorce, bankruptcy, illness. Once you have handled any of those things, you emerge a much stronger person.

The truth is that love and power go together.

Rejection is rejection—wherever it is found. So you begin to protect yourself, and, as a result, greatly limit yourself. You begin to shut down and close out the world around you.

It’s a problem” is another deadening phrase. It’s heavy and negative. “It’s an opportunity” opens the door to growth. Each time you can see the gift in life’s obstacles, you can handle difficult situations in a rewarding way. Each time you have the opportunity to stretch your capacity to handle the world, the more powerful you become.

No one is more unloving than a person who can’t own his or her own power. Such people spend their lives trying to pull it out of everyone else. Their need creates all sorts of manipulative behavior.

The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow.

IN SAYING “YES” LIES THE ANTIDOTE TO OUR FEAR.

You can’t avoid pain, but you can say yes to the pain, understanding that it is a part of life.

... security is not having things; it’s handling things.

You have to do something to make your real life match your visualization.

THE ONLY WAY TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF IS TO GO OUT . . . AND DO IT.

They had to push through a tremendous amount of fear to get where they are today . . . and they are still pushing.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO TO DIMINISH YOUR FEAR IS TO DEVELOP MORE TRUST IN YOUR ABILITY TO HANDLE WHATEVER COMES YOUR WAY!

For some reason we feel we should be perfect, and forget that we learn through our mistakes. Our need to be perfect and our need to control the outcome of events work together to keep us petrified when we think about making a change or attempting a new challenge.

TRUTH 2 THE ONLY WAY TO GET RID OF THE FEAR OF DOING SOMETHING IS TO GO OUT AND DO IT. This

No one is more unloving than a person who can’t own his or her own power.

Each time we confront some intense difficulty, we know there is something we haven’t learned yet, and the universe is now giving us the opportunity to learn.

The Path is much like the experience of climbing a mountain. The climb is tough. But each time you stop to look around, the view becomes more spectacular.

SAY YES TO YOUR UNIVERSE.

We are all winners when we say yes

Our intuition is always operating for us.

We can’t escape fear.

they begin to see how attractive people become as they open up and share their feelings.

Aikido in Everyday Life by Terry Dobson and Victor Miller. Their premise is that “the best victory is the one in which everyone wins.

I believe that if something is troubling you, simply start from where you are and take the action necessary to change it.

Security is not having things, it’s handling things.

Nothing is as satisfying as those moments of breakthrough when you discover something about yourself and the universe that adds another piece to the jigsaw puzzle. The joy of discovery is delicious.

In all my life I have never heard a mother call out to her child as he or she goes off to school, “Take a lot of risks today, darling.” She is more likely to convey to her child, “Be careful, darling.

I know it is hard to accept, but an upset in your life is beneficial, in that it tells you that you are off course in some way and you need to find your way back to your particular path of clarity once again.

You may be surprised and encouraged to learn that while inability to deal with fear may look and feel like a psychological problem, in most cases it isn’t. I believe it is primarily an educational problem, and that by reeducating the mind, you can accept fear as simply a fact of life rather than a barrier to success.

We cannot escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us on all our exciting adventures.... Take a risk a day-one small or bold stroke that will make you feel great once you have done it. SUSAN JEFFERS

The phrase “say yes” means “to agree to” those things that life hands us. Saying yes means letting go of resistance and letting in the possibilities that our universe offers in new ways of seeing the world. It means to relax bodily and calmly survey the situation, thereby reducing upset and anxiety. Aside from the emotional benefits, the physical benefits are enormous.

The sense of "having a goal in your life "will put you in the side of "giving" instead of "getting" ...... most of people focus "more" on what they want from their lives and that could lead to thinking in a (victim-of-life) way ... when you start to play the role of a person who's having a meaning and a goal for his/her life, you will get back the self-esteem you deserve.

The term “universe” refers to that life plan that seems to take over despite what we have in mind— that “force” operating, seemingly on its own, that often interferes with our picture of how we would like things to be. It refers to a certain flow in our lives and the lives of others over which we have little or no control.

TRUTH 1 THE FEAR WILL NEVER GO AWAY AS LONG AS I CONTINUE TO GROW. As

complaining about anything. You will be surprised how difficult this is. You will also be surprised to learn how much complaining and criticizing you do. By

Just changing your attitude can affect the world around you.

As you go through each day, it is important to realize that at every moment you are choosing the way you feel.

Usually inner strength is respected—we get back what we put out.

YOU'RE NOT A FAILURE IF YOU DONT MAKE IT; YOU'RE A SUCCES BECAUSE YOU TRY ...not only does talking bring valuable information, it clarifies your intention to have it happen!

Lighten up! We live in a world where most people take themselves and their decisions seriously. I have good news for you: nothing is that important. Honestly!

be aware of where you find yourself hesitating, and start planning your future risks based on these observations.

What matters is that you begin now to develop trust in yourself until you reach the point where you will be able to say: WHATEVER HAPPENS TO ME, GIVEN ANY SITUATION, I CAN HANDLE IT!

Positive thinking changes everything in your life. It makes you laugh a lot and love a lot more. You will draw more and more positive people into your life. You will be healthier physically. You will be happy to be alive.

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s way. The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity—even in the most difficult circumstances—to add a deeper meaning to his life.

Positive thinking takes a special commitment and requires a great deal of practice. And once you get it all down perfectly, a maintenance program is a must. From my experience, if you don't practice, you lose the skill. You must practise positive thinking regularly just as you need to exercise your body regularly to keep it in shape.

Hear my voice and the voice of my ancestors, Chief Seattle said. The destiny of your people is a mystery to us. What will happen when the buffalo are all slaughtered? The wild horses tamed? What will happen when the secret corners of the forest are heavy with the scent of many men? When the view of the ripe hills is blotted by talking wires? Where will the thicket be? Gone. Where will the eagle be? Gone! And what will happen when we say good-bye to the swift pony and the hunt? It will be the end of living, and the beginning of survival.

The irony, of course, is that by not choosing, we are choosing--to starve. For some reason we feel we should be perfect, and forget that we learn through our mistakes. You keep looking back and berating yourself with "If only I had..." You waste valuable energy, and you also make yourself miserable. Each path is strewn with opportunities--despite the outcome. YOU'RE NOT A FAILURE IF YOU DON'T MAKE IT; YOU'RE A SUCCESS BECAUSE YOU TRY Before making a decision: 1. Focus on the No-Lose Model 2. Do your homework 3. Establish Your priorities 4. Trust your impulses 5. Lighten up After making a decision 1. Throw away your picture 2. Accept total responsibility 3. Don't protect, correct.

I learned an amazing way to demonstrate the effectiveness of positive versus negative thinking from Jack Canfield, President of Self-Esteem Seminars, which I now use in my workshops. I ask someone to come up and stand facing the rest of the class. After making sure the person has no problems with her (or his) arms, I ask my volunteer to make a fist and extend either arm out to the side. I then tell her to resist, with as much strength as she can muster, as I stand facing her and attempt to push her arm down with my outstretched hand. Not once have I succeeded in pushing her arm down on my initial trial. I then ask her to put her arm down, close her eyes and repeat ten times the negative statement “I am a weak and unworthy person.” I tell her really to get into the feel of that statement. When she has repeated the statement ten times, I ask her to open her eyes and extend her arm again exactly as she had before. I remind her to resist as hard as she can. Immediately, I am able to bring down her arm. It is as though all strength has left her. I wish I could record the expressions on my volunteers’ faces when they find it impossible to resist my pressure. A few have made me do it again. “I wasn’t ready!” is their plea. Lo and behold, the same thing happens on the second try—the arm goes right down with little resistance. They are dumbfounded. I then ask the volunteer once again to close her eyes, and repeat ten times the positive statement “I am a strong and worthy person.” Again I tell her to really get into the feeling of the words. Once again I ask her to extend her arm and resist my pressure. To her amazement (and everyone else’s) I cannot budge the arm. In fact, it is more steadfast than the first time I tried to push it down. If I continue interspersing positive with negative, the same results occur. I can push the arm down after the negative statement, I am not able to push it down after the positive statement. By the way—for you skeptics out there—I tried this experiment when I was unaware of what the volunteer was saying. I left the room, and the class decided whether the statement should be negative or positive. It didn’t matter. Weak words meant a weak arm. Strong words meant a strong arm.

The pathway is smooth. Why do you throw rocks before you?’ Using the Pain-to-Power Chart to help, you can begin to clear the rocks in front of you. These steps will help you clear the way: 1. Draw a large copy of the Pain-to-Power Chart and stick it on your wall. Just the simple act of making it larger will make you feel a little more powerful. You are already taking action! Remember that much of the trick of moving from pain to power is taking action – action is very powerful! Once the chart is on your wall it will always remind you of where you want to go in life – from pain to power. Awareness, knowledge, is half the battle. Having the chart on your wall will also help you to keep moving forward. 2. Put a pin at the place on the chart where you see yourself at this moment in your life. Are you in the middle, where you sometimes feel depressed and stuck, and at other times more in control? Or do you find yourself on the far left side, where there is little you are able to do to pull yourself out of the rut? Or perhaps you are already on the right side, where you feel you are really moving ahead with your life, with only a few areas that need to be worked on. I doubt that anyone reading this book has reached their goal of gaining total power over the self. Even the Buddhas don’t have power over their selves all the time! There are always new events that challenge a sense of personal power. 3. Each day look at the chart and ask yourself, ‘Do I see myself at the same place, or have I moved?’ Move the pin if you have moved. 4. If you keep in mind the way you want to go, it will help you make choices about what you are doing in your life. Before you take any action in life, ask yourself: ‘Is this action moving me to a more powerful place?’ If it isn’t, think again about doing it. A word of warning – if you go ahead anyway, knowing the action will keep you in a place of pain, don’t get angry with yourself about it. Use your mistakes to learn more about yourself. 5. Make your use of the chart fun. Having it as a game keeps you relaxed about how you are getting on. If you have children, they can create their own charts, and you can make a family game out of the fun of growing. 6. You might want to make different charts for different areas of your life. To be really powerful, you need to be in charge of all aspects of your life – your work, relationships, home, body, and so on. Often people are very powerful in some parts of their lives and very weak in others. For example, I am very powerful in terms of my career, but need to work on the area of exercise. To help you on your Pain-to-Power path, it’s important that you begin to develop Pain-to-Power words. The way you use words has a huge impact on the quality of your life. Certain words make you weaker; others make you powerful. Choose to move to Pain-to-Power Words as follows: PAIN-TO-POWER VOCABULARY • ‘I can’t’ suggests you have no control over your life, but ‘I won’t’ puts an issue in the area of choice. From this moment on, stop saying, ‘I can’t’.

How can you buy the sky? Chief Seattle began. How can you own the rain and the wind? My mother told me, Every part of this earth is sacred to our people. Every pine needle. Every sandy shore. Every mist in the dark woods. Every meadow and humming insect. All are holy in the memory of our people.

How can you buy the sky? Chief Seattle began. How can you own the rain and the wind?

My father said to me, I know the sap that courses through the trees as I know the blood that flows in my veins. We are part of the earth and it is part of us. The perfumed flowers are our sisters. The bear, the deer, the great eagle, these are our brothers. The rocky crests, the meadows, the ponies--all belong to the same family.

The voice of my ancestors said to me, The shining water that moves in the streams and rivers is not simply water, but the blood of your grandfather’s grandfather. Each ghostly reflection in the clear waters of the lakes tells of memories in the life of our people. The water’s murmur is the voice of your great-great-grandmother. The rivers are our brothers. They quench our thirst. They carry our canoes and feed our children. You must give to the rivers the kindness you would give to any brother.

The voice of my grandfather said to me, The air is precious. It shares its spirit with all the life it supports. The wind that gave me my first breath also received my last sigh. You must keep the land and air apart and sacred, as a place where one can go to taste the wind that is sweetened by the meadow flowers.

When the last Red Man and Woman have vanished with their wilderness, and their memory is only the shadow of a cloud moving across the prairie, will the shores and forest still be here? Will there be any of the spirit of my people left? My ancestors said to me, This we know: The earth does not belong to us. We belong to the earth.

The voice of my grandmother said to me, Teach your children what you have been taught. The earth is our mother. What befalls the earth befalls all the sons and daughters of the earth.

This we know: All things are connected like the blood that unites us. We did not weave the web of life, We are merely a strand in it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves.

We love this earth as a newborn loves its mother’s heartbeat. If we sell you our land, care for it as we have cared for it. Hold in your mind the memory of the land as it is when you receive it. Preserve the land and the air and the rivers for your children’s children and love it as we have loved it.

Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway (New York: Random House, 1987) Susan Jeffers

Susan Jeffers’ book, entitled Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway (New York: Random House, 1987) is a quick, powerful read that can help you dramatically change the way you see fear.

I have often told my students that perhaps the “lucky” ones in life are those who have been forced to face things in their lives that we all hope we will never have to face – things such as losing a job, the death of a loved one, divorce, bankruptcy, illness. Once you have handled any of those things, you emerge a much stronger person… They have discovered the security is not having things; it’s handling things.