Stressed Mom Quotes

For kids like me, the part of the brain that deals with stress and conflict is always activated...We are constantly ready to fight or flee, because there is a constant exposure to the bear, whether that bear is an alcoholic dad or an unhinged mom (p228)....I see conflict and I run away or prepare for battle. (p246)

Despite her obvious stress, my mom still managed to pour the hot chocolate into mugs, cover them with whipped cream and a pinch of cayenne, and add a cinnamon stick to them. She was like the Jedi master of hot chocolate.

His chest swelled with pride at her words. “Good, because no one touches my girl unless she wants to be touched. No woman should ever be violated. That’s something my mom made sure we understood. She said a woman’s body was a temple, and you should never enter it without an invitation. I was just a kid and didn’t understand at the time, but she stressed it so much that I remember.

Never got a detention,” Mom says, “had perfect grades, got plenty of scholarships. No matter how stressful anything else was, we always knew Harriet was fine.' Wyn gives me a look I can’t read, a tenderness around his mouth but concern in his brow.

Even if that thing makes you very uncomfortable at times. Even if that thing puts a lot of pressure on you. Even if that thing is very stressful. Sometimes it’s just nice to feel good at something.

The hood is also a low-stress, comfortable life. All your mental energy goes into getting by, so you don’t have to ask yourself any of the big questions. Who am I? Who am I supposed to be? Am I doing enough? In the hood you can be a forty-year-old man living in your mom’s house asking people for money and it’s not looked down on. You never feel like a failure in the hood, because someone’s always worse off than you, and you don’t feel like you need to do more, because the biggest success isn’t that much higher than you, either. It allows you to exist in a state of suspended animation.

I became a student of my own depressed experience, trying to unthread its causes. What was the root of all this despair? Was it psychological? (Was it Mom and Dad's fault?( Was it just temporal, a 'bad time' in my life? (When the divorce ends will the depression end with it?) Was it genetic? (Melancholy, called by many names, has run through my family for generations, along with its sad bride, Alcoholism.) Was it cultural? (Is this just the fallout of postfeminist American career girl trying to find balance in an increasingly stressful alienting urban world?) Was it astrological? (Am I so sad because I'm a thin-skinned Cancer whose major signs are all ruled by unstable Gemini?) Was it artistic? (Don't creative people always suffer from depression because we're so supersensitive and special?) Was it evolutionary? (Do I carry in me the residual panic that comes after millennia of my species' attempting to survive a brutal world?) Was it karmic? (Are all these spasms of grief just the consequences of bad behavior in previous lifetimes, the last obstacles before liberation?) Was it hormonal? Dietary? Philosophical? Seasonal? Environmental? Was I tapping into a universal yearning for God? Did I have a chemical imbalance? Or did I just need to get laid?

I threw everything into loving my mom because where she went, I went. She was my mom, my dad, my best friend, my everything. Then, when she was sick, I spent years worried and stressed and heartbroken that I was going to lose the one person I had let myself love with all my

Be nice to her,” she said, low and fast. “My mom keeps a lot of stuff inside, but her thoughts are really loud. I know she’s been scared and lonely. She has a disability, but you probably know that. It’s a barometric-pressure thing. When it rains or snows or gets really hot or really cold too fast, she hurts. But alcohol, stress, loud noises, and weird smells do it, too. You have to learn her triggers. And please, just be patient with her. Sometimes she has to lie down for a long time. You might feel bored or lonely or even rejected, but she can’t help being sick.” Audre rested her hand on Shane’s shoulder. “Mom feels guilty about who she is. Make her feel happy about herself.

I’d been brief with her, not wanting her to stress over me and Lia. I mean, she knew I’d narrowly escaped death in freeing Lia from Castel o Paratore, but she didn’t know all of the details. That, like, I’d almost been killed a dozen times. You just didn’t tell your mom that kind of thing—not if you were trying to keep her from rushing you off to some safe tower.

Even if that thing makes you very uncomfortable at times. Even if that thing puts a lot of pressure on you. Even if that thing is very stressful. Sometimes it’s just nice to feel good at something.

Everything will be okay. Trust me. I don't know how many times he's said that to me, not just here in prison but my whole life. When I was scared for the first day of school, or stressed about a big test; when I fell off my bike in sixth grade and split my lip. When my mom got sick. I always believed him. He's my father, he wouldn't lie to me; he's a grown-up, he knows the truth. But now I see his promises for what they really are: hopeful prayers, a mantra he says as much to reassure himself as me. He can't fix this, not even close.

I threw everything into loving my mom because where she went, I went. She was my mom, my dad, my best friend, my everything. Then, when she was sick, I spent years worried and stressed and heartbroken that I was going to lose the one person I had let myself love with all my heart.

Maternal stress during pregnancy has effects on the emotional and stress hormone reactions, particularly in female offspring. These effects were measured in goat kids. The stressed female kids ended up startling more easily and being less calm and more anxious than the male kids after birth. Furthermore, female kids who were stressed in utero showed a great deal more emotional distress than female kids who weren’t. So if you’re a girl about to enter the womb, plan to be born to an unstressed mom who has a calm, loving partner and family to support her. And if you are a mom-to-be carrying a female fetus, take it easy so that your daughter will be able to relax.

Just be here, I thought to myself one night. Just be right where I am now, I vowed as I snuggled in close. Don’t think about the dishes piled in the sink, or the messages in the inbox, or the trash needing to go curbside, or the ache in your hip in need of an ice pack. Just think about the precious girl in need of a little time with her mom.

A FATHER’S GREATEST FEAR is usually that he won’t be able to provide for his family. A mom’s greatest fear is typically that something will happen to one of her children. Fear is a funny thing. It sometimes provides healthy caution, but more times than not it seems to produce undue stress and anxiety regarding things over which we have little to no control.

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” —WILLIAM JAMES I don’t know what superpower William James enjoyed, but I can no more choose my thoughts than choose my name. The way he talked about thoughts was the way I experienced them—not as a choice but as a destiny. Not a catalog of my consciousness, but a refutation of it. When I was little, I used to tell Mom about my invasives, and she would always say, “Just don’t think about that stuff, Aza.” But Davis got it. You can’t choose. That’s the problem.

Like a good southern boy should, I'll start with my mom. She's a true baller, living proof that the value of denial depends on one's level of commitment to it. She beat two types of cancer on nothing more than aspirin and denial. She's a woman that says I'm going to before she can, I would before she could, and I'll be there before she's invited. Fiercely loyal to convenience and controversy, she's always had an adversarial relationship with context and consideration because they ask permission. She might not be the smartest person in the room but she ain't crying. She's 88 now, and seldom do I go to bed after her or wake up before her. Her curfew when she was growing up was when she danced holes big enough in the feet of her pantyhose that came up around her ankles. Nobody forgives himself quicker than she does and therefore, she carries zero stress. I once asked her if she ever went to bed with any regrets. She quickly told me, ‘Oh every night son, I just forget him by the time I wake up.’ She always told us, ‘Don't you walk into a place like you want to buy it, walk in like you own it.’ Obviously, her favorite word in the English language is ‘Yes.

I’m talking about the soul-crushing drudgery of day-to-day parenthood that we’re too embarrassed to talk about. The boredom, the stress, the nagging dissatisfaction, and the sense of personal failure that parents feel when raising a kid isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Perhaps worst of all is the guilt that so many women buy into because they’re too ashamed to admit that despite the love they have for their kids, child rearing can be a tedious and thankless undertaking.

To be honest, I hadn’t been emotionally prepared for the emptiness that seemed to accompany my senior year, the many reminders of my mom’s absence. Senior pictures, homecoming, college applications, prom, graduation; as everyone I knew got excited about those high school benchmarks, I got stress headaches because nothing felt the way I’d planned for it to feel. Everything felt… lonely.

You all right, sis?” Kaden asked, pausing between heaping spoonfuls of oatmeal. “Of course.” “You look a little stressed.” “You would, too, if you were going to run the country,” I teased. “Sometimes I think about that,” he said, getting all serious. “Like, what if a disease swept over all of Illéa, and you and Mom and Dad and Ahren got sick and died. Then I’d be in charge and have to figure out everything on my own.” In my periphery I saw Dad lean forward, listening to his son. “That’s a little morbid, Kaden.” Kaden shrugged. “It’s always good to plan ahead.” I

When a baby gets hungry and cries his levels of stress hormones will move upward. But if Mom or Dad regularly comes to feed him, they go back down, and over time, they become patterned and repetitive thanks to the daily routine. At times, nonetheless, the baby will feel distress and cry: not hungry, not wet, not in discernible physical pain, she will appear inconsolable. When this happens most parents hug and rock their children, almost instinctively using rhythmic motion and affectionate touch to calm the child. Interestingly, the rate at which people rock their babies is about eighty beats per minute, the same as a normal resting adult heart rate. Faster and the baby will find the motion stimulating; slower and the child will tend to keep crying. To soothe our children we reattune them physically to the beat of the master timekeeper of life.

The licking and grooming behavior that occurred in the pups’ first ten days of life predicted changes to their stress response that lasted for the entire lifetime. Even more startling, the changes continued into the next generation, because female pups who had high-licker moms became high lickers themselves when they had their own kids.

You need to consider the constraints on your time, your current family and work responsibilities, your energy levels, the ages of your children, and so forth. For instance, a mom of three young children, one of whom has special needs, should have a much different level of expectation for herself than a woman who is young, single, and has no kids.

Harlow concluded that contact comfort, or touch, is critical to the formation of a parent-child bond and that a lack of this contact is psychologically stressful.

She calls repeatedly. I pull over, swipe my phone open, and push block. It feels good. It feels right. A surge of built-up stress leaves my body. I can breathe normally again.

I ALWAYS ASK Stella and Nolan, “Do I seem like a stressed-out mom or a happy mom?” And they say, “You seem happy.

I took on my depression like it was the fight of my life, wich of course, it was. I became a student of my own depressed experience, trying to unthread its causes. What was the root of all this dispair? Was it psychological? (Mom and Dad's fault?) Was it just temporal, a "bad time" in my life? (When the divorce ends, will the depression end with it?) Was it genetic? (Melancholy, called by many names, has run through my family for generations, along with its sad bride, Alcholisme.) Was it cultural? (Is this just the fallout of a postfeminist American career girl trying to find balance in an increasingly stressful and alienating urban world?) Was it astrological? (Am I so sad because I'm a thin-skinned cancer whose major signs are all ruled by unstable Gemini?) Was it artistic? (Don't creative people always suffer from depression because we're so supersensitive and special?) Was it evolutionary? (Do I carry in me the residual panic that come after millennia of my species' attempting to survive a brutal world?) Was it Karmic? (Are all these spasms of grief just the consequences of bad behavior in previous lifetimes, the last obstacles before liberation?) Was it hormonal? Dietary? Philosophical? Seasonal? Environmental? Did I have a chemical imbalance? Or did I just need to get laid?

Jill was born into an inner-city home. Her father began having sex with Jill and her sister during their preschool years. Her mother was institutionalized twice because of what used to be termed “nervous breakdowns.” When Jill was 7 years old, her agitated dad called a family meeting in the living room. In front of the whole clan, he put a handgun to his head, said, “You drove me to this,” and then blew his brains out. The mother’s mental condition continued to deteriorate, and she revolved in and out of mental hospitals for years. When Mom was home, she would beat Jill. Beginning in her early teens, Jill was forced to work outside the home to help make ends meet. As Jill got older, we would have expected to see deep psychiatric scars, severe emotional damage, drugs, maybe even a pregnancy or two. Instead, Jill developed into a charming and quite popular young woman at school. She became a talented singer, an honor student, and president of her high-school class. By every measure, she was emotionally well-adjusted and seemingly unscathed by the awful circumstances of her childhood. Her story, published in a leading psychiatric journal, illustrates the unevenness of the human response to stress. Psychiatrists long have observed that some people are more tolerant of stress than others.

Often, women's symptoms are brushed off as the result of depression, anxiety, or the all-purpose favorite: stress. Sometimes, they are attributed to women's normal physiological states and cycles: to menstrual cramps, menopause, or even being a new mom. Sometimes, other aspects of their identity seem to take center stage: fat women report that any ailment is blamed on their weight; trans women find that all their symptoms are attributed to hormone therapy; black women are stereotyped as addicts looking for prescription drugs, their reports of pain doubted entirely. Whatever the particular attribution, there is often the same current of distrust: the sense that women are not very accurate judges of when something is really, truly wrong in their bodies.

For kids like me, the part of the brain that deals with stress and conflict is always activated - the switch flipped indefinitely. We are constantly ready to fight or flee, because there is constant exposure to the bear, whether that bear is an alcoholic dad or an unhinged mom. We become hard-wired for conflict. And that wiring remains, even when there's no more conflict to be had.

Even if that thing makes you very uncomfortable at times. Even if that thing puts a lot of pressure on you. Even if that thing is very stressful. Sometimes it’s just nice to feel good at something. 19.

…Ten minutes later I pulled the van into the loading dock behind the hospital and removed my gurney. It was a bit of a farce to use a full-sized adult gurney for a few babies, but I didn’t think walking through the corridors with my arms filled with them was a particularly good plan either. I had an image of fumbling and dropping them, like a stressed out mom carrying too many grocery bags to avoid the extra trip in from the car.

A note about me: I do not think stress is a legitimate topic of conversation, in public anyway. No one ever wants to hear how stressed out anyone else is, because most of the time everyone is stressed out. Going on and on in detail about how stressed out I am isn’t conversation. It’ll never lead anywhere. No one is going to say, “Wow, Mindy, you really have it especially bad. I have heard some stories of stress, but this just takes the cake.” This is entirely because my parents are immigrant professionals, and talking about one’s stress level was just totally outlandish to them. When I was three years old my mom was in the middle of her medical residency in Boston. She had been a practicing obstetrician and gynecologist in Nigeria, but in the United States she was required to do her residency all over again. She’d get up at 4:00 a.m. and prepare breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my brother and me, because she knew she wouldn’t be home in time to have dinner with us. Then she’d leave by 5:30 a.m. to start rounds at the hospital. My dad, an architect, had a contract for a building in New Haven, Connecticut, which was two hours and forty-five minutes away. It would’ve been easier for him to move to New Haven for the time of the construction of the building, but then who would have taken care of us when my mom was at the hospital at night? In my parents’ vivid imaginations, lack of at least one parent’s supervision was a gateway to drugs, kidnapping, or at the very minimum, too much television watching. In order to spend time with us and save money for our family, my dad dropped us off at school, commuted the two hours and forty-five minutes every morning, and then returned in time to pick us up from our after-school program. Then he came home and boiled us hot dogs as an after-school snack, even though he was a vegetarian and had never eaten a hot dog before. In my entire life, I never once heard either of my parents say they were stressed. That was just not a phrase I grew up being allowed to say. That, and the concept of “Me time.

Accept the Things You Cannot Change During our weekend visits with his kids I tried to change things, such as poor eating habits. Big mistake. It wasn’t my job. The biological mom was fine with how they ate. It wasn’t a “hill to die on,” and the battle only created stress.

Yes, it’s nice to make Mom feel good, but it’s also nice to feel good at something. Even if that thing makes you very uncomfortable at times. Even if that thing puts a lot of pressure on you. Even if that thing is very stressful. Sometimes it’s just nice to feel good at something.

what happens when a baby doesn’t get those positive, nurturing responses? Say, if a mom is on her own with no help, or depressed, or in a violent relationship? She may really want to be a loving, responsive parent, but is that possible under those circumstances? Dr. Perry: This is one of the central problems in our society; we have too many parents caring for children with inadequate supports. The result is what you would expect. An overwhelmed, exhausted, dysregulated parent will have a hard time regulating a child consistently and predictably. This can impact the child in two really important ways. First, it affects the development of the child’s stress-response systems (see Figure 3). If the hungry, cold, scared infant is inconsistently responded to—and regulated—by the overwhelmed caregiver, this creates an inconsistent, prolonged, and unpredictable activation of the child’s stress-response systems. The result is a sensitization of these important systems.

It’s important that Jennette wants to act, in order for her to do well,” he says. “Oh, she wants this more than anything,” Mom says as she signs on the next page’s dotted line. Mom wants this more than anything, not me. This day was stressful and not fun, and if given the choice, I would choose to never do anything like it again. On the other hand,

Your childhood, teens, and college years are the stuff of Han Solo, beer, road trips, random sexual encounters, and self-discovery. Pure magic. From your mid-twenties through your mid-forties, though, shit gets real—work, stress, and the realization that, despite what your teachers and your mom told you, you likely won’t be a senator or have a fragrance named after you.

In the 1980s, the American researcher Roger Ulrich discovered that simply having a room with a view of a natural environment rather than a brick wall helped patients at a Philadelphia hospital recover more quickly from gallbladder surgery. They also reported being less depressed and having less pain. Other studies have shown that being immersed in nature can lower blood pressure, reduce stress, and lessen ADHD symptoms.

Do we stop needing our mom? Not at all. Over time, without maternal comfort, we do learn to bury the need. But the need doesn’t go away. Unmet needs for maternal nurturance and protection fester like an angry infection. The body holds the memory of emotional pain and, over time, may generate chronic distress and insecurity. When distress is the norm, it becomes toxic. Toxic stress creates physiological inflammation, weakening the immune system.

There’s something about sleeping in your own bed of years ago, in seeing your mom in the kitchen, in smelling zaatar2 in the streets; something to hearing the squeaky horn of the kaak3 seller’s motorcycle, to seeing familiar streets and faces, and hearing the familiar language and noises that just set your heart beating faster, get your breath coming quicker, get your smile to flash in a second and your stress to melt away into the heat… Take me home.

She rambled on and on about how my attending a new private school was going to be a “stressful time of tremendous personal growth” and how my best “coping mechanism” would be to “communicate” my “thoughts and feelings.” I was absolutely ECSTATIC because you can communicate with a NEW CELL PHONE! Right?! I kind of zoned out on most of what my mom was saying because I was DAYDREAMING about all of the cool ring tones, music, and movies I was going to download. It was going to be LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!

ACEs instead of obesity, exercise and nutrition would still have been an important part of that. It wasn’t our initial intention to treat our patients’ toxic stress with dodgeball and cooking classes, but we were pleasantly surprised to see how much the kids improved when we added healthy diet and exercise incentives to therapy. I sat down to check in with the moms and grandmas each week, and they reported that when they changed their children’s diet and their levels of exercise went up, the kids slept better and felt healthier, and in many cases, their behavioral issues

Like a good southern boy should, I'll start with my mom. She's a true baller, living proof that the value of denial depends on one's level of commitment to it. She beat two types of cancer on nothing more than aspirin and denial. She's a woman that says I'm going to before she can, I would before she could, and I'll be there before she's invited. Fiercely loyal to convenience and controversy, she's always had an adversarial relationship with context and consideration because they ask permission. She might not be the smartest person in the room but she ain't crying. She's 88 now, and seldom do I go to bed after her or wake up before her. Her curfew when she was growing up was when she danced holes big enough in the feet of her pantyhose that came up around her ankles. Nobody forgives themselves quicker than she does and therefore, she carries zero stress. I once asked her if she ever went to bed with any regrets. She quickly told me, ‘Oh every night son, I just forget him by the time I wake up.’ She always told us, ‘Don't you walk into a place like you want to buy it, walk in like you own it.’ Obviously, her favorite word in the English language is ‘Yes.

You all right, sis?” Kaden asked, pausing between heaping spoonfuls of oatmeal. “Of course.” “You look a little stressed.” “You would, too, if you were going to run the country,” I teased. “Sometimes I think about that,” he said, getting all serious. “Like, what if a disease swept over all of Illéa, and you and Mom and Dad and Ahren got sick and died. Then I’d be in charge and have to figure out everything on my own.” In my periphery I saw Dad lean forward, listening to his son. “That’s a little morbid, Kaden.” Kaden shrugged. “It’s always good to plan ahead.” I propped my chin on my hand. “So what would be King Kaden’s first order of business?” “Vaccinations, obviously.” I

Nadine began to ask: If that is the wrong approach, what’s the right way to respond? How could she help Robert, and all the other kids in her care like him? She told me that she starts by explaining to parents: “I believe this [inability to focus] is being caused by your [child’s] body making too many stress hormones. So here’s how we fix them. We have to create an environment. We have to limit the amount of scary or stressful things that [your child] is experiencing and witnessing. And we have to layer on lots of buffering, lots of caregiving, lots of nurturing. In order for you to be able to do that, you, Mom, have to recognize and address your own history of what’s gone on in your life.

In the vast majority of cultures—and throughout human history—parents don’t discuss with children what activity they’ll do next, or debate whether a child wants a peanut butter sandwich or pasta for lunch. Parents don’t ask “Do you want” questions: “Do you want butter or tomato sauce on your pasta?” “Do you want to go to the store with me?” “Do you want to take a bath?” Instead, the parent just takes action. The mom makes black beans for lunch; the dad grabs his jacket and heads out the door to the store; the grandma goes to the bathroom and draws water for bath time. I think this low-talk parenting style is a big reason kids in these cultures seem so calm. Fewer words create less resistance. Fewer words cause less stress.

...the fight or flight response is a destructive constant companion. As Dr. Nadine Burke Harris put it, the response is great "If you're in a forest and there is a bear... When that happens, the Harvard researchers found, the sector of the brain that deals with highly stressful situations takes over. "Significant stress in early childhood, ' they write, "... result[s] in a hyperresponsive or chronically activated physiological stress response, along with increased potential for fear and anxiety" For kids like me, the part of the brain that deals with stress and conflict always activted- the switch flipped indefinitely. We are constantly ready to fight or flee, because there is constant exposure to the bear, whether that bear is an alcoholic dad or an unhinged mom. We become hard-wired for conflict. And that wiring remains, even when there's no more conflict to be had.

In attunement, it is the infant who leads and the mother who follows. “Where their roles differ is in the timing of their responses,” writes John Bowlby, one of the century’s great psychiatric researchers. The infant initiates the interaction or withdraws from it according to his own rhythms, Bowlby found, while the “mother regulates her behaviour so that it meshes with his... Thus she lets him call the tune and by a skillful interweaving of her own responses with his creates a dialogue.” The tense or depressed mothering adult will not be able to accompany the infant into relaxed, happy spaces. He may also not fully pick up signs of the infant’s emotional distress, or may not be able to respond to them as effectively as he would wish. The ADD child’s difficulty reading social cues likely originates from her relationship cues not being read by the nurturing adult, who was distracted by stress. In the attunement interaction, not only does the mother follow the child, but she also permits the child to temporarily interrupt contact. When the interaction reaches a certain stage of intensity for the infant, he will look away to avoid an uncomfortably high level of arousal. Another interaction will then begin. A mother who is anxious may react with alarm when the infant breaks off contact, may try to stimulate him, to draw him back into the interaction. Then the infant’s nervous system is not allowed to “cool down,” and the attunement relationship is hampered. Infants whose caregivers were too stressed, for whatever reason, to give them the necessary attunement contact will grow up with a chronic tendency to feel alone with their emotions, to have a sense — rightly or wrongly — that no one can share how they feel, that no one can “understand.” Attunement is the quintessential component of a larger process, called attachment. Attachment is simply our need to be close to somebody. It represents the absolute need of the utterly and helplessly vulnerable human infant for secure closeness with at least one nourishing, protective and constantly available parenting figure. Essential for survival, the drive for attachment is part of the very nature of warm-blooded animals in infancy, especially. of mammals. In human beings, attachment is a driving force of behavior for longer than in any other animal. For most of us it is present throughout our lives, although we may transfer our attachment need from one person — our parent — to another — say, a spouse or even a child. We may also attempt to satisfy the lack of the human contact we crave by various other means, such as addictions, for example, or perhaps fanatical religiosity or the virtual reality of the Internet. Much of popular culture, from novels to movies to rock or country music, expresses nothing but the joys or the sorrows flowing from satisfactions or disappointments in our attachment relationships. Most parents extend to their children some mixture of loving and hurtful behavior, of wise parenting and unskillful, clumsy parenting. The proportions vary from family to family, from parent to parent. Those ADD children whose needs for warm parental contact are most frustrated grow up to be adults with the most severe cases of ADD. Already at only a few months of age, an infant will register by facial expression his dejection at the mother’s unconscious emotional withdrawal, despite the mother’s continued physical presence. “(The infant) takes delight in Mommy’s attention,” writes Stanley Greenspan, “and knows when that source of delight is missing. If Mom becomes preoccupied or distracted while playing with the baby, sadness or dismay settles in on the little face.

I have one priority in life and it’s not making millions as it once was. I have all the money I could ever want, too much, India claims. I’m business driven but it’s my girl who is the most important part of my life. My whole life. It’s that very reason I’m reluctant to bring any shift in our happy bubble. We both work hard. We play hard together. That woman is my equal in every aspect of life. She thrills me, and intrigues me. I’ve loved peeling back India’s layers. She’s vulnerable is my mean girl and I love the place we’ve gotten to where she trusts me with all her sad, unsure moments. She will grieve for her brother for the rest of her life. She’ll always worry about her mom becoming manic depressive again. She’ll forever be a woman who puts everyone else before her own needs. But what’s different in India’s life is she now has me who makes sure she’s first. In everything. It’s going to kill me to see the happiness drop from her eyes. She’ll go into fix it mode and when she can’t, she’ll get angry and stressed.

The next morning I showed up at dad’s house at eight, with a hangover. All my brothers’ trucks were parked in front. What are they all doing here? When I opened the front door, Dad, Alan, Jase, and Willie looked at me. They were sitting around the living room, waiting. No one smiled, and the air felt really heavy. I looked to my left, where Mom was usually working in the kitchen, but this time she was still, leaning over the counter and looking at me too. Dad spoke first. “Son, are you ready to change?” Everything else seemed to go silent and fade away, and all I heard was my dad’s voice. “I just want you to know we’ve come to a decision as a family. You’ve got two choices. You keep doing what you’re doing--maybe you’ll live through it--but we don’t want nothin’ to do with you. Somebody can drop you off at the highway, and then you’ll be on your own. You can go live your life; we’ll pray for you and hope that you come back one day. And good luck to you in this world.” He paused for a second then went on, a little quieter. “Your other choice is that you can join this family and follow God. You know what we stand for. We’re not going to let you visit our home while you’re carrying on like this. You give it all up, give up all those friends, and those drugs, and come home. Those are your two choices.” I struggled to breathe, my head down and my chest tight. No matter what happened, I knew I would never forget this moment. My breath left me in a rush, and I fell to my knees in front of them all and started crying. “Dad, what took y’all so long?” I burst out. I felt broken, and I began to tell them about the sorry and dangerous road I’d been traveling down. I could see my brothers’ eyes starting to fill with tears too. I didn’t dare look at my mom’s face although I could feel her presence behind me. I knew she’d already been through the hell of addiction with her own mother, with my dad, with her brother-in-law Si, and with my oldest brother, Alan. And now me, her baby. I remembered the letters she’d been writing to me over the last few months, reaching out with words of love from her heart and from the heart of the Lord. Suddenly, I felt guilty. “Dad, I don’t deserve to come back. I’ve been horrible. Let me tell you some more.” “No, son,” he answered. “You’ve told me enough.” I’ve seen my dad cry maybe three times, and that was one of them. To see my dad that upset hit me right in the gut. He took me by my shoulders and said, “I want you to know that God loves you, and we love you, but you just can’t live like that anymore.” “I know. I want to come back home,” I said. I realized my dad understood. He’d been down this road before and come back home. He, too, had been lost and then found. By this time my brothers were crying, and they got around me, and we were on our knees, crying. I prayed out loud to God, “Thank You for getting me out of this because I am done living the way I’ve been living.” “My prodigal son has returned,” Dad said, with tears of joy streaming down his face. It was the best day of my life. I could finally look over at my mom, and she was hanging on to the counter for dear life, crying, and shaking with happiness. A little later I felt I had to go use the bathroom. My stomach was a mess from the stress and the emotions. But when I was in the bathroom with the door shut, my dad thought I might be in there doing one last hit of something or drinking one last drop, so he got up, came over, and started banging on the bathroom door. Before I could do anything, he kicked in the door. All he saw was me sitting on the pot and looking up at him while I about had a heart attack. It was not our finest moment. That afternoon after my brothers had left, we went into town and packed up and moved my stuff out of my apartment. “Hey bro,” I said to my roommate. “I’m changing my life. I’ll see ya later.” I meant it.

The market is the first force that has led to the shriveling of citizenship. The classic case is the Wal-Mart effect. A town has a Main Street of small businesses and mom-and-pop shops. The shopkeepers and their customers have relationships that are not just about economic transactions but are set in a context of family, neighborhood, people, and place. Then Wal-Mart comes to town. It offers lower prices. It offers convenience. Because of its scale and might in the marketplace, it can compensate its workers stingily and drive out competition.   The presence of Wal-Mart leads the townspeople to think of themselves primarily as consumers, and to shed other aspects of their identities, like being neighbors or parishioners or friends. As consumers first, they gravitate to the place with the lowest prices. Wal-Mart thrives. The small businesses struggle and lay off workers. They cut back on their sponsorship of tee ball, their support of the food bank. As the mom-and-pops give way to the big box, and commutes become necessary, lives become more frenetic and stressful. People see each other less often. The sense of mutual obligation that townsfolk once shared starts to evaporate. Microhabits of caring and sociability fall away. In this tableau of libertarian citizenship, market forces triumph and everyone gets better deals—yet everyone is now in many senses poorer.

What’s perhaps strange to say is that I’m not sure I would have gotten there without the period of enforced stillness and the steadiness I found inside of knitting. I’d had to go small in order to think big again. Shaken by the enormity of everything that was happening, I’d needed my hands to reintroduce me to what was good, simple, and accomplishable. And that turned out to be a lot. I now knit while talking to my mom on the phone, during Zoom meetings with my team from the office, and on summer afternoons when friends come to sit on our back patio. Knitting has made watching the evening news a little less stressful. It has made certain hours of the day less lonely, and it’s helped me think more reasonably about the future. I’m not here to tell you that knitting is a cure for anything. It won’t end racism or demolish a virus or vanquish depression. It won’t create a just world or slow climate change or heal anything big that’s broken. It’s too small for that. It’s so small that it hardly seems to matter. And this is part of my point. I’ve come to understand that sometimes the big stuff becomes easier to handle when you deliberately put something small alongside it. When everything starts to feel big and therefore scary and insurmountable, when I hit a point of feeling or thinking or seeing too much, I’ve learned to make the choice to go toward the small. On days when my brain apprehends nothing but monolithic catastrophe and doom, when I feel paralyzed by not-enoughness and my agitation begins to stir, I pick up the knitting needles and give my hands a chance to take over, to quietly click us out of that hard place. In knitting, when you create the first stitch of a new project, you cast on. When an item is finished, you bind off. Both of these actions, I’ve found, are incredibly satisfying—the bookends of something manageable and finite. They give me a sense of completion in a world that will always and forever feel chaotic and incomplete.

We had to look down every driveway and Mom was getting really stressed.

...research points to a particularly female aspect of human interaction called "emotional labor"...They found that the women "expressed optimism, calmness, and empathy even when these were not the emotions they were feeling" - a repressive facade familiar to many a mom. This is emotional labor and it is debilitating...And it contributes to an enduring stress gap between men and women, as observed by Kristin Wong...emotional labor is not circumstantial. It's an enduring responsibility based on the socialized gender role of women.

In Meaney’s rat studies, when the daughters of stressed, neglectful rat moms became mothers themselves, they behaved no better toward their own pups. His study found that the effect could last for several generations, suggesting that the stress experienced by the mother, and the ensuing effect on her behavior toward her pups, could somehow be passed to their offspring.

I thought my being cast as a series regular might help her lighten up a bit, but it hasn’t. She’s still so critical. It’s stressful. I

They fear being forced into some unflattering or dangerous archetype that the world told them they’d be if they expressed the faintest glimmer of rage. The bitter ex, the stressed-out mom, the bossy exec, the man-hating feminist – the countless racist or sexist cliches that would be tossed at them for getting angry at the systemic injustices of the world (because misogyny has a thousand words for “unhinged bitch” but not a single one for “multiple female orgasm”).

A 4-year-old loves her toy puppy’s golden brown fur. Her teenage brother is annoyed by its loud bark. Her mom sees it as a tool to keep the 4-year-old busy. Her baby sister finds the puppy’s big teeth scary. Her dad considers it an overpriced piece of plastic. The same toy evokes different feelings depending on how one looks at it. We see what we seek. When you don’t attend to attention — when you’re inattentive — life may pass you by. The tulips come and go, the seasons change, and the baby climbs out of the crib, off the bunk bed and on to the college dorm. We forget that joy is in the details. As a Jewish prayer says, “Days pass, and the years vanish, and we walk sightless among miracles.” Intentional trained attention is directed by your will. This trained attention pulls you away from distractions to savor a more wholesome morsel of life. Trained attention doesn’t deny or repress reality. It gives you temporary freedom from negativity. You stop carrying the entire load of the past and the future in your head. Trained attention is focused, relaxed, compassionate, nonjudgmental, sustained, deep and intentional. This meditative attention is essential to experiencing flow. Its optimal practice helps you forget yourself, immerses you in the world’s novelty, and frees your mind for creativity and joy.

I hung up with Josh, and the switch flipped in my head. Sloan called it my velociraptor brain because it made me fierce and sharp. Something big had to trigger it, and when it did, my compulsive, laser-focused, primal side activated. The one that got me a near perfect score on my SATs and got me through college finals and Mom. The one that made me clean when I was stressed and threatened to launch into full-scale manic OCD if left unchecked—that kicked in.

When Parker first started separating the young monkeys from their moms, she predicted that the early life stress would lead to emotional instability. But instead, the stress led to resilience. As they grew up, the monkeys who had experienced early life stress were less anxious than the more sheltered monkeys. They explored more in new environments and showed greater curiosity toward new objects—a young monkey’s version of courage. They were quicker to solve new mental challenges that the experimenters gave them. As juveniles—the equivalent of teenagers—the previously stressed monkeys even showed greater self-control. All of these effects lasted into adulthood. The early life stress had set the young monkeys on

But if a sensitive child is securely attached to Mom, there is no long-term cortisol effect from the stress. Without secure attachment, however, a startling experience will produce long-term arousal. One can see why it is important that young HSPs (and older ones,

it's also nice to feel good at something. Even if that thing makes you very uncomfortable at times. Even if that thing puts a lot of pressure on you. Even if that thing is very stressful. Sometimes it's just nice to feel good at something.

When dealing with something beyond your control, make letting go of it your goal.

With one phone call, I turned my mom into a single parent. I hardly remember what those six months were like without him, except for the fact that everything was harder. My dad was the one who drove Julio and me to school. He picked us up, cooked us dinner, and took me to my basketball games and dance practices. My mom did the best she could to make up for his absence, but she wasn’t as organized. The house was a constant mess, and I was late to every practice. I didn’t have to deal with my dad’s anger and drinking, but that didn’t mean I didn’t miss and need my dad. I wish I didn’t grow up feeling afraid of him. But I also thought if he was mean all the time, then hating him wouldn’t hurt so much. The stress also brought out another side of my mom. One day, Julio and I were playing in the living room, and he hit me really hard with his toy sword. I hit him back and he started crying.

To let go of worry in a hurry, challenge your assumptions.

When you feel worry brewing, instead of sitting there stewing, get up and start doing.

They “can’t eat” right now, they tell me. I envy them. I envy that their sadness and stress translate to a lack of hunger.

I’m on my period,” I tell him. “We can’t have bathroom sex.” “I know. We heard you girls.” “You heard …?” My voice trails off when I realize what he means. Narrowing my eyes, I demand. “Were you in the men’s bathroom with the Kings?” The rooms share a wall. I didn’t hear them, but I wasn’t really listening either. Now I know it’s because after they were beating the shit out of some guy, they were spying on us. He doesn’t answer. But he doesn’t have to. I already know that answer. “You had no right …” “You should have told me you thought you were pregnant,” he snaps. “Why? To push you away?” He lets out a long sigh and steps into me. Cupping my cheeks, he frowns. “You think I’d leave you?” “The thought crossed my mind,” I admit softly. I’ve taken five pregnancy tests, and they all said negative, but none of them helped ease my fear. What my mom would say. How I would tell him. It has consumed my every thought. I think to the point that I was convincing my body I was growing a baby. The stress alone probably kept me from starting. “Haven, I’m never going to leave you.” He pulls me into him. “I just wish you would have told me. My job is to take care of you. And if we get pregnant, then I’ll take care of both of you.” “If we get pregnant?” I arch a brow. “Of course. You’re not alone in this relationship, Haven.” I went that very next day to get on the shot. I told my mother about my pregnancy scare and that I had missed some pills, so I chose the shot instead. I wonder how long I’ll be able to keep getting them. “I didn’t read the contract,” I blurt out. I need him to understand that I don’t know all that is required of me. He stays silent, but he’s no longer snoring, so I know I woke him up. “I do love you,” I whisper. “And I’d love to have a family with you, but I won’t allow you to harm any child of mine.” He shifts, and I close my eyes. “Haven. Haven, look at me,” he orders, placing his hand on my face to tilt it toward him. I open my eyes, and they sting from unshed tears. “I may be my father’s son, but I’m nothing like him. I don’t want my parents’ marriage. And I would never, ever hurt you or our children.” He presses his lips gently to my forehead, and the first tear rolls down the side of my face.

Researchers began finding that habit replacement worked pretty well for many people until the stresses of life—such as finding out your mom has cancer, or your marriage is coming apart—got too high, at which point alcoholics often fell off the wagon. Academics asked why, if habit replacement is so effective, it seemed to fail at such critical moments. And as they dug into alcoholics’ stories to answer that question, they learned that replacement habits only become durable new behaviors when they are accompanied by something else. One group of researchers at the Alcohol Research Group in California, for instance, noticed a pattern in interviews. Over and over again, alcoholics said the same thing: Identifying cues and choosing new routines is important, but without another ingredient, the new habits never fully took hold. The secret, the alcoholics said, was God.

didn’t think that my mom was stressed, until that moment. But his line got me thinking, as in, why was my mom stressed at all? She didn’t work; all she did was basically get us up for school, then to after-school activities, and feed us,

We’ll never make it three months. Do you have any of the details worked out?” “Well,” she said. “Sure. Some.” He leaned toward her and smiled pleasantly. “Care to share?” “What would you like to know?” “Well, there’s nothing to suggest we have a high-risk pregnancy, but it’s pretty common for the mothers of twins to go on bed rest for a while to delay labor while they grow and get stronger. And when babies come, it’s often early and fast. And taking care of them as newborns is pretty demanding. Also, you have a financial situation that’s giving you some stress. And—” “Okay, okay,” she said. “Sheesh. I’m not too worried about bed rest, I’m in good health and I have Vanni and Mel. John Stone is watching real close for early and fast. My mom will come as soon as they arrive and—” “So will mine,” he said, and she actually grabbed her belly. “What?” “Oh yeah. We can hold her off for a week, maybe, but these are her grandchildren and she’s never missed a grandchild’s debut.” “Have you told her?” she asked, aghast. “Not yet,” he said, twirling a little spaghetti around his fork. “But I have to do that. It’s going to be hard enough to explain not telling her sooner and making sure she had a chance to meet you. They’re not just our children, Ab. They have grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins…et cetera…on my side of this family as well as yours.” “Oh God,” she said, dropping her fork. “I don’t feel so good.” He just laughed lightly. “Relax. Nothing to worry about. They’re fantastic people and you’ll be real happy to have them in your life, I guarantee it.” “But won’t they think… I mean, we’re not married and—” He shrugged, got up and fetched himself a beer from the old refrigerator, using the underside of his heavy class ring to pop the top. “I’m sure they’ve heard of things like this before. A man and woman, not married, having children. But telling my family is just one item on this list. Abby, the list is long. We have so many things to work through before you go into labor. And not all that much time to do it.” She

I have friends like that—very straightforward and responsible, good at what they do, good home life. But they get stressed, and they blow off steam by posting aggressive comments on the web. Their web personality is different from their real personality. They keep them separate. They just laugh and say it’s okay to write whatever you can’t say in the real world, no matter how critical or negative it is. That does seem to be one purpose of the Internet for a lot of people.” Kotaro nodded. “But I think my friends are wrong. Their posts will never disappear. They think they’re just putting opinions out there. They don’t use real names. They say what they think. They assume no one pays attention for more than a few moments. That’s a big mistake.” “Most of what goes on the net, stays on the net—somewhere.” “That’s not what I mean. No matter how carefully they choose their words, whatever they say, the words they use stay inside them. Everything is cumulative. Words don’t ‘disappear.’ “Maybe they post a comment saying a certain actress should just die. They think they’ve blown off steam by criticizing someone no one likes anyway. But those words—’I hope she dies’—stay inside the writer, along with the feeling that it’s acceptable to write things like that. All that negativity accumulates, and someday the weight of it will change the writer. “That’s what words do. However they’re expressed, there’s no way people can separate their words from themselves. They can’t escape the influence of their own thoughts. They can divide their comments among different handles and successfully hide their identity, but they can’t hide from themselves. They know who they are. You can’t run from yourself.” Mom would say, “What goes around, comes around.” “So be careful, Kotaro. If the real world is stressing you out, deal with your stress in the real world, no matter how dumb you think it makes you look. Okay?

When evaluating a new client for degree of independence, I consider four factors: 1. Emotional issues: Does the person have good resources within himself or herself for coping independently with emotional issues that come up, or does he or she turn to parents not only for advice, but for cues as to how to react to the event in question? 2. Financial issues: Does the adult child earn an adequate living on his or her own, or does he or she rely heavily on parental input for things such as job contacts, supplemental funds, or housing? 3. Practical issues/interactive situations: Can the person manage day-to-day living, finances, nutrition, exercise, and housekeeping? 4. Career/Education issues: Does the person have a rewarding job or career that is commensurate with his or her abilities and offers the potential for further success? Is the person willing to learn new things to increase his or her productivity or compensation? These are the basic skills of living, many of which are addressed in the social ability questionnaire. Just as there are levels of social functioning, so too there are levels of independent functioning. All three of the following levels describe an adult with some degree of dependency problems. A healthy adult is someone who is independent financially, is able to manage practical and interactive issues, and who stays in touch with family but does not rely almost solely on family for emotional support. Level 1—Low Functioning Emotional issues: Lives at home with parent(s) or away from home in a fully structured or supervised environment. Financial issues: Contributes virtually nothing financially to the running of the household. Practical issues: Chooses clothes to wear that day, but does not manage own wardrobe (i.e., laundry, shopping, etc.). Relies on family members to buy food and prepare meals. Does few household chores, if any. May try a few tasks when asked, but seldom follows through until the job is finished. Career/education issues: Is not table to keep a job, and therefore does not earn an independent living. Extremely resistant to learning new skills or changing responsibilities. Level 2: Moderately functioning Emotional issues: Lives either at home or nearby and calls home every day. Relies on parents to discuss all details of daily life, from what happened at work or school that day to what to wear the next day. Will call home for advice rather than trying to figure something out for him- or herself. Financial issues: May rely on parents for supplemental income—parents may supply car, apartment, etc. May be employed by parents at an inflated salary for a job with very few responsibilities. May be irresponsible about paying bills. Practical issues: Is able to make daily decisions about clothing, but may rely on parents when shopping for clothing and other items. Neglects household responsibilities such as laundry, cleaning and meal planning. Career/education issues: Has a job, but is unable to cope with much on-the-job stress; job is therefore only minimally challenging, or a major source of anxiety—discussed in detail with Mom and Dad. Level 3: Functioning Emotional issues: Lives away from home. Calls home a few times a week, relies on family for emotional support and most socializing. Few friends. Practical issues: Handles all aspects of daily household management independently. Financial issues: Is financially independent, pays bills on time. Career/education issues: Has achieved some moderate success at work. Is willing to seek new information, even to take an occasional class to improve skills.

There appears to be a large duffel bag in my bedroom.” “I’m moving in for a while, unless you throw me out. My mom is at Luke’s for the evening. She and I will spend tomorrow afternoon with Rosie while you’re in Redding at work. I thought I’d take babysitting duty while you do your twenty-four-hour shift. If that’s okay with you. Wednesday morning, while Rosie’s at preschool and day care, I’m driving my mom to the airport. She’s going home to get some things done around her condo so she can come right back. I guess the plants are dying, and the bills need to be paid. On the way over here this afternoon, after picking up my things at Luke’s, I scoped out the pumpkin patch and bought new pajamas.” He grinned at her. “I thought you might be annoyed we didn’t invite you along, so I took lots of pictures.” “Weren’t you going to ask?” she said. “About the pumpkin patch?” he returned. “About the pajamas,” she stressed. He straightened and his expression was serious. “I was going to beg. I have four weeks of leave, if they don’t call me in early. Can you put up with me? If I’m neat?” Her heart swelled, but she was afraid to let it show. He’d always been neat. In fact, he was a little on the fussy side. Things he valued had to be perfectly maintained—his home, his car, his man toys. Put up with him? “We’ve never actually done this before, you know,” she pointed out to him. “We’ve never really lived together.” The look in his eyes was tender. “We should have.” *

Instead, incest occurs in families where there is a great deal of emotional isolation, secrecy, neediness, stress, and lack of respect. In many ways incest can be viewed as part of a total family breakdown. But it is the aggressor and the aggressor alone who commits the sexual violence. Tracy described what it was like in her house: We never talked about how we felt. If something bothered me, I just pushed it down. I do remember my mom cuddling me when I was little. But I never saw any affection between my mother and father. We did things together as a family, but there was no real closeness. I think that was what my father was looking for. Sometimes he would ask me if he could kiss me and I would say I didn’t want to. Then he’d beg me and say he wouldn’t hurt me, he just wanted to be close to me. It had not occurred to Tracy that if her father was lonely and frustrated, he had alternatives to molesting his daughter. Like many aggressors, Tracy’s father looked within the family, to his daughter, in an attempt to make up for whatever deprivation he experienced. This distorted use of a child to take care of an adult’s emotional needs can easily become sexualized if that adult cannot control his impulses.

An empowered mom must have the courage of a warrior and the persistence of a bull.

Transparency allows your children to see you exactly as you are, and promotes the deepest kind of connection. It is also a show of true self-confidence and self-love that you accept yourself as you are, in all of your humanness.

How many times have you carried the burden of thinking you have to live up to some ideal “fairy-tale” image of a good mother?

Abandoning perfectionism is such a relief for us, and them.

Being a mom is a big job, with small and memorable moments calling on our patience and building our character every day.

I have two sons. Jude is five, with dark, curly hair. He looks just like his mom. Moses is two, with bright eyes and a wide smile. I love watching my boys play together. They are never anxious. Never depressed. But every once in a while, they wake up in the middle of the night scared. Sometimes it’s a bad dream. Other times it’s a monster in the closet (that turns out to be a blanket). You know the drill. When they wake up crying, all they need to calm down is a minute or two in my arms. Once they feel that security—that safety, the fact that dad is present—they are fine. The implications are obvious. Jesus calls us to have faith like a child. I wonder if that means we need to trust God like my sons trust me. To climb up into his arms, take a deep breath, and know we are safe, as long as we are with him. I sleep much better these days. It still takes me a while to fall asleep at times. Like my boys, I still wake up with fears, concerns, thoughts that are out of control. My heart still picks up pace. My mind begins to race. But I’m learning to call out to God, to remember my place, and to take my thoughts captive. I’m learning to take a deep breath, to dwell on his scriptures, and to learn from my boys. After all, when was the last time you met a stressed-out five year old? I don’t think they exist. When was the last time you met a stressed-out child of God? They are all over the place.

a dark and empty place without our feelings. Put on a pair of sunglasses and rock on, Mom! If you answered FALSE to #3, let’s brainstorm right now about some healthy ways you can vent negative emotions, anger, and stress. We talked about a few at the end of the chapter (resting properly, exercising regularly, and eating well), but there are hundreds of other ways you can get the emotional release you need. Laughter is a big one. Do you maintain a sense of humor about your life and about your emotional challenges in particular? Connecting with friends is another important one. And what about those times when you find yourself needing what I like to call a “sanity moment”? Write

Being with my mom in the morning can be pretty stressful. She's always in a huge rush. If you didn't know any better, you might think she was being chased by villains or something.

But numerous studies have shown that the actual act of cleaning and organizing can be a stress reliever for the whole family.  Why is this?  The best exercise to calm the brain is exercise and that is what happens when you create a “clean” team and work with your child to organize their space.

Typical things you will see on a to-do list: “Mom” “Bank” “Doctor” “Baby-sitter” “VP Marketing” etc. Looking at these often creates more stress than relief, because, though it is a valuable trigger for something that you’ve committed to do or decide something about, it still calls out psychologically, “Decide about me!” And if you do not have the energy or focus at the moment to think and decide, it will simply remind you that you are overwhelmed. Stuff

Ninja Mom's can't be all their called to be, if their so stressed out about how their going to pay their Mastercard bill

Fi pulls up another section of hair to braid. “Not to mention Dad is going to shit puppies when he finds out. Mom will probably bake a ten-tiered stress cake, then kick it.

Aric glanced at Jaxon, Jake and Kel. “So who wants to help me plan a wedding? Jaxon slapped his whiskey on the poker table. “How long is she withholding sex?” Jake laughed. “I don’t think it has anything to do with that.” “It must,” Jaxon said. “No man ever wants to plan a wedding. That’s the stuff horror movies are made of.” “Tell me about it,” Aric growled. “Jordan’s stressed. I’ve noticed her lack of sleep and I want to make it easier for her.” “So just go do what Nic and I did,” Jake grinned. “Minus her throwing herself at you drunk in front of the Elvis impersonator and trying to strip you naked so you could ‘hit that’.” Aric grinned. “Was it really that bad?” Jake leaned back in the cushion of his sofa chair. “It was great! She was all over me. Elvis asked if we wanted to say anything after our vows and she turned to the people waiting to use the chapel and mom and said ‘he’s really good in bed. He does this thing with his mouth’ but then got interrupted when mom cleared her throat and Elvis started coughing.” Jaxon chuckled. “Your wives are a handful, but they sure are

When we try to create a blessing the way the world does, we create problems for ourselves. Whether its compromising on taxes, cheating on an exam or something else; when we operate this way we are allowing weeds to choke out God’s promise that he will supply all of our needs. The end result is stress and turmoil.            Often times we seek help from people when it’s God we should be seeking. The end result is that people get the praise and glory for our deliverance. There are times in our lives when God wants to show up mightily in lives; He doesn’t want to share the glory with someone else. But like Sarah, we doubt that God could possible work out our situation and we turn to friends and family when we should be turning to His promises.

ave you noticed the focus these days is back on the simple things of life? What's the first thing you do when you pick a rose? You smell the fragrance. Maybe it brings back a memory of the time you picked flowers for your mom. Perhaps it's time to recapture some of that girlhood simplicity. A lavender sachet in your drawer can be an unexpected and simple pleasure. Spray a little cologne on your notepaper or even on the bathroom throw rug. Or better yet, boil a little pot of cinnamon and enjoy the aroma. Put on lively music while you do your housework. Light candles for a quiet yet festive atmosphere. When we find satisfaction in the little things in life, we are happier and more willing to look for the positive in bigger things. olor in your home can make a world of difference. It can help you redefine spaces. If an area is too large, add a throw rug in a complementary color and create a "get together" spot. Add some soft colored curtains for a change of seasons. The idea is to create intimacy, a place that's inviting on a chilly evening or a warm spring afternoon. The richer the colors, the more welcoming the space. Red is great for warmth. Go for it! And shades of cranberry and plum work well. Experiment and step out of your comfort zone. Your home can be a place that gives you a feeling of quiet for thinking about what really counts in life and also be a festive atmosphere for celebrating. on't put all your emotional eggs in one basket. Our work consumes much of our time, and that's natural. And for some of you, that's 95 percent of your awake hours. Is it time to change your focus-to make life a little easier and less stressful for

Making your partner first on your “to do” list, and not last, will help you keep your priorities in line and will also be the salvation of your loving connection.

Conscious parenting is really about self-awareness; the more self-aware you are, the better you can set your family’s conditions and boundaries.

Most important, through your mindfulness, you can break any chains of negative and abusive behavior that have been passed down through your relatives.

Of course, the ways we carry dysfunction through our family lineage are not so funny. To break the chain, I must pause to ask myself: What dysfunctional behaviors do I practice by habits that come from my own subconscious psychological patterning because of my upbringing? Emotional patterns and ways of being are handed down from generation to generation like family heirlooms—and while many may be positive, many can also be oppressive.

Personal growth isn’t about beating yourself up, it’s about celebrating your ability to refine and enhance yourself, and increase your personal development through awareness.

Personal growth is all about reflecting and noticing the thoughts that simply don’t serve my family or me. Past grudges, regrets, anger, resentment, fears, and other emotional baggage only hinder the happiness in my spirit and our home. In essence, it is a spring-cleaning of unhealthy attachments.

Being a mom often makes it challenging to take time for personal growth; I’ve never had a positive insight or come into a new awareness that didn’t directly affect my marriage or my children in a positive way.

Make it fun—make it count—and teach your kids through your example that nourishing our spirit and doing our inner work makes life a whole lot brighter for everyone.

Priscilla has made it a mission to disabuse the students who still come to L’Abri of the Schaeffer mythology. She makes no secret of her nervous breakdowns, her dependence on Prozac, her depression and anxiety attacks, her alcohol-related struggles. She will tell anyone who asks that being a Schaeffer child—and the pressure from Mom to be part of the ministry and, above all, from strangers to live up to their “Schaeffer expectations”—didn’t help. When I called her to ask if she would allow me to write about her problems, and she gave me the okay, she also said “Mom drove me crazy, but in fairness I would have suffered from stress and depression anywhere. I would push too hard in L’Abri, then crash. If I had been doing something else just as intense, it would have happened, too.” Susan

My dad had struggled and been forgiven too. He knew what it was like to be judged and looked down upon for his past. Later on in another conversation, we talked more about forgiveness. “Son, you’ll want your kids to have as sinless a life as possible. But it’s not possible to be perfect although some people, like your brother Jase, have lived a less sinful life than others.” Jase is a strong man. But Dad and I are different from Jase and from others who somehow are able to stay on the straight and narrow just about all the time. “Those people will never understand forgiveness as you and I will,” said Dad. “You and I could have died. People who’ve done something like that really understand forgiveness.” I also talked to my mom and told her what had happened. She loved Jess and knew she was a good person. I told my mom that Jess was so much like her, and that made her happy. When I left Mom and Dad’s house that night, the stress was gone, lifted away by Bible verses we’d read together. A week later I was at church, and I saw an elder, a different one. He’d heard what had happened at the meeting, and he came up to me and put his arm around me. I wasn’t expecting him to say anything, and I was really surprised when he told me this: “Son, some people around here are idiots. That girl is right by God. If you love her, son, get married, start a family, and name one of ‘em after me.” In the end, I didn’t blame the elder or my friends for anything they said or did. They were trying to watch out for me and didn’t want to lose me. It’s just that they were wrong. Jessica was forgiven. And I also knew what it was to be forgiven. I’d been through my own share of struggles and understood what it meant to feel the love and mercy of God. I knew in my heart that I was to show that same forgiveness to Jessica. She was still worried, though. “I don’t want you to choose me over your friends,” she said one day at my house. “I don’t want them to hate me even more.” “What they’re saying isn’t right. I know it’s not right. And they’ll get over it.” I was starting to realize how deep my feelings were for her, and I wanted to let her know. “I love who I am when I’m with you. We took the long way around, but we were destined to be together. I love you.” “I love you too,” she said. “We’ll just go to a different church if we have to. Don’t worry about my friends.” She smiled. “I choose you,” I said and reached out my arms to her.

I don’t care if you have a big mansion with all the comforts! I am Mom, and I know what is best! You can have her back when she is all better! I know that you miss her and you want nothing more than to hover over her…but that is my job. You just settle yourself, mister, and do what you do best and I will do what I do best! I have done a good job of it for thirty-two years!” I sat up, biting my lip when she grew silent, obviously listening to him. I wished I could hear the rough and lovely voice on the other end. “And she loves you too, Liam…she is safe here…and I will tell her you called. If she is up to it I will even let her call you,” she teased. “If you will behave yourself and not get her worked up! She’s in healing mode now. No…I am not bringing her there! You want to see her…you bring your little tush here. Oh, you don’t like that idea? Well then, you will just have to be patient! The doctor said she needs to rest for a few days. The wound is fine…but after the shock she went through she doesn’t need added stress…so stop your pushing!” I covered my mouth to stifle my laugh. My mom had never been afraid of anyone…not even powerful billionaires! She laughed at something he said now. “I really like you, you know that? I’m glad she has you!” She was silent for another moment. “I will make sure she is awake in an hour to receive the package Stewart brings over,” she promised. ”Take care!

Finally, I offer to go pick up some Burger King for all of us because I’m desperate for a distraction. And food is the perfect distraction. None of the boys want anything. They ‘can’t eat’ right now, they tell me. I envy them. I envy that their sadness and stress translate to a lack of hunger.

A LITTLE GIRL SHOULDN’T HAVE to worry about her entire family,” Grandpa says to me one afternoon. He can tell I’m stressed. I’ve been pacing back and

Mom wants this more than anything, not me. This day was stressful and not fun, and if given the choice, I would choose to never do

By the age of four, a child of professionals would have heard 32 million more words than a child on welfare. This 'thirty-million word gap' appears to have a huge impact in the child's development. 'With few exceptions, the more parents talked to their children, the faster the children's vocabularies were growing and the higher the children's IQ test scores at age three and later,' Hart and Risley wrote. They continued to follow the children until they were nine years old and found that the number of words young children heard seemed to have a substantial impact on their brain development, IQ, and school performance. Later research has confirmed their findings, as well as their conclusion that by school age poor children are often so far behind that it is difficult for them to catch up. Moreover, many of the words low-income children heard were stern ones of scolding, while professional parents praised their children at every opportunity. Children on welfare heard two words of discouragement for every encouraging one, while children of professionals received six encouraging words for every discouraging one. As David Olds and many other researchers have found, it's not that poor families are averse to talking to their babies or to praising them...By and large, parents of every background love their kids, want them to succeed, and are happy to help them thrive. The problem is that struggling single moms living in poverty are stressed and busy, don't realize that talking to a baby is critical, and often are accustomed to a parenting style that is authoritarian.

Trying my very best to avoid falling into a fatalistic mood. It's scary because there is so much information coming at us from dozens of sources we don't know who or what to believe. Yes, take precautions, but will this help? Live your life as usual, but will this help? Have faith, but will this help? I definitely don't have an answer and the ones that should, it seems don't know better either! What I do know is stressing over something completely out my control is futile. This fear of the little known is only heightening hysteria. Handle it the best way you know how but stop, take a breath, make a plan, roll with the changes and ride this out. It's already in motion. Now we just have to decide if the situation controls us or we control our response to it. I checked on my mom and Dad. Made sure they are ok and told them I love them. Dont let fear make you lose sight of who and what is important. When life gets rough all we have is each other. What would happen if the person you love was taken from you today? That is so much more worthy of your emotions than stressing over a sickness most people don't even understand yet. Stay safe friends and fam. Pray for us, and we'll pray for you. We'll get through this. It will be hard and we may come out battered and bruised, but we are fighters!!! Peace beautiful people.

Yes, it’s nice to make Mom feel good, but it’s also nice to feel good at something. Even if that thing makes you very uncomfortable at times. Even if that thing puts a lot of pressure on you. Even if that thing is very stressful. Sometimes it’s just nice to feel good at something.

p 68. its also nice to feel good at something. even if that thing makes you very uncomfortable at times. even if that thing puts a lot of pressure on you. even if that thing is very stressful. sometimes it’s just nice to feel good at something.

There’s just something about hugging your mom. The instant whoosh of stress and worry that leaves your body. Like in that single moment, you know you’re safe, you know you’re loved, and you know your burdens aren’t just your own.

Mom wants this more than anything, not me. This day was stressful and not fun, and if given the choice, I would choose to never do anything like it again. On the other hand, I do want what Mom wants, so she’s kind of right.

If we didn’t put so much pressure on our children to accomplish what they were never intended to, I think we’d enjoy them a lot more.

but it’s also nice to feel good at something. Even if that thing makes you very uncomfortable at times. Even if that thing puts a lot of pressure on you. Even if that thing is very stressful. Sometimes it’s just nice to feel good at something.

Emotions are like waves; they ebb and flow, they come and go. Accept your feelings without trying to hold onto the ones you want to keep or force away the ones you don't want. Remember, peace always returns.

Upon your seeing a dirty kitchen, your inner voice may say something like, “I am such a hot mess,” but challenge yourself to think of something else it could mean. “I cooked my family dinner three nights in a row” is a true statement. If care tasks are morally neutral, then having not showered or brushed your hair in three weeks does not mean “I am disgusting” but instead simply means “I am having a hard time right now.” Let me tell you what the mess in my home means. It means I’m alive. Dirty dishes mean I’ve fed myself. Scattered hobby supplies mean I am creative. Scattered toys and mess mean I am a fun mom. The stacked boxes in the hall mean I was thoughtful enough to order what we need. The clothes strewn on the floor mean I had a full day. And occasionally mess means I’m struggling with depression or stress. But those aren’t moral failings either—and neither is that moldy coffee cup I keep not taking to the kitchen.

According to research, fathers with children under eighteen spend about three more hours per week on leisure time than mothers. And while leisure activities for men generally include playing sports, exercising, or watching TV or other media, mothers' activities are often expected to be normal day-to-day activities chalked up to self-care. "Go take a bath! Go take a nap! Go to bed early!" Gee, thanks, society. When we aren't momming, we are expected to be working; and when we aren't working we are expected to be momming! Maybe this is why mothers feel more exhausted and stressed during their leisure time than fathers do, and why co-opting a business trip for some R&R is the best excuse there is to do business.

With all that taken care of, she was officially off duty for the day. And out of excuses to not call her mother back. Was she being a healthy adult by avoiding unnecessary stress? Or was this an immature defense mechanism left over from a tumultuous childhood? She picked up the phone and scrolled to her mother’s contact. Andrea. Not Mom. Andrea hadn’t earned the title. “Mackenzie!” her mother trilled when she answered, and Mack automatically shifted into carefully listening mode for any signs of alcohol, her mother’s favorite hobby. “Hi, Mom.

He Googled ‘Does penis enlargement really work?’ When I asked him about it, he said he was worried about me being . . . stretched out after having a baby.” I look at her with an embarrassed smirk and shudder. “But obviously at this point I know he was researching for Croella.” My mom stares at me. “So while we were all madly trying to help him and figure out what was physically wrong with him. While you stopped producing enough milk for your newborn baby because you were so stressed about the e-mail and his personality change. He was Googling how to make his penis bigger for his twenty-two-year-old girlfriend?

I’d wake up earlier if I wasn’t up so late stressing about money,” Mom always says. “Maybe if your father got a job that PAID THE BILLS for once so I wouldn’t have to depend on a CHILD…

I feel this intense pressure to step in and be this amazing “bonus mom.” Everyone expects me to just naturally be maternal and love my step-kids and take care of everything for them. I feel like I do all the hard work of parenting, but I don’t get any of the benefits that bio-parents get. I don’t get love, loyalty, or affection from the kids, no matter how kind I am to them. They never hug me or say thank you. I certainly don’t get acknowledged on Mother’s Day. I really try to be a good stepmom, but I feel like all my efforts are looked at with suspicion or resentment from my step-kids, because they think I’m “trying too hard.” It also feels like my husband wants it both ways. He expects me to love his kids “just like they’re my own,” and he expects me to take care of them and be involved and support them and help raise them. But then he gets defensive and territorial, and he resists my input if I try to be involved in any actual parenting, because they’re “his” kids, not mine. And his ex-wife gets threatened, and she basically tells me to “butt out and stay in my place.” So, my husband and his ex both expect me to help them do the hard work of parenting and provide childcare for them, but only on their terms. Apparently, I don’t get a place at the decision-making table. I feel like an unpaid babysitter, not a partner. And it seems like the harder I work and the nicer I am, the less anyone appreciates me. I can’t win.

I have two missed text messages from Ryle and one from my mother. Ryle: Hey. Naked Truth commencing in 3… 2… Ryle: I was worried that being in a relationship would add to my responsibilities. That’s why I’ve avoided them my whole life. I already have enough on my plate, and seeing the stress my parents’ marriage seemed to cause them, and the failed marriages of some of my friends, I wanted no part in something like that. But after tonight, I realized that maybe a lot of people are just doing it wrong. Because what’s happening between us doesn’t feel like a responsibility. It feels like a reward. And I’ll fall asleep wondering what I did to deserve it. I pull my phone to my chest and smile. Then I screenshot the text because I’m keeping it forever. I open up the third text message. Mom: A doctor, Lily? AND your own business? I want to be you when I grow up. I screen-shot that one, too.

Even if that thing puts a lot of pressure on you. Even if that thing is very stressful. Sometimes it’s just nice to feel good at something.

In landmark experiments that began in the late 1980s, Michael Meaney, a neuroscientist at McGill University, in Montreal, studied how the interactions between rat moms and pups played out in the lives of the pups. His research team took genetically identical rat mothers and videotaped and analyzed their behaviors while the pups were infants. Then they let the pups grow up, and checked how the pups of nurturing rat moms fared compared with the offspring of stressed-out moms. The pampered pups grew into adults that were more laid-back, less reactive to stress, and less prone to addictive behaviors, such as overdoing it when given a free supply of alcohol or cocaine. They were also more social with other rats, more daring, and more willing to explore new places. Pups of stressed, negligent moms grew into loners prone to the rat equivalents of anxiety, depression, and addictive behaviors. Studies of monkey moms and their infants turned up similar results. Stressed macaque infants whose moms are inconsistent, erratic, and sometimes dismissive grow up timid, submissive, fearful, less gregarious, and more prone to depression than their better-nurtured peers. These early findings were the beginning of a paradigm shift in our understanding of how experiences in childhood can affect our health and the dialogue between the gut and the brain.

What did I miss?" he asks, smile falling at the tension at the table. Mom crosses her arms. She turns her ire on my father. "Centuries of pressuring women to be agreeable and conform to unrealistic emotional expectations." "That doesn't seem fair." My father frowns. "You're telling me," Mom huffs. Her jaw sets. I'm sure she's daydreaming about mutiny. Burning down the patriarchy. You know, little things.

We looked down every driveway, and Mom was becoming very stressed.

Chloe talked Clare through the information she needed to hack into the system and guided her screen by screen. Her fingers flew over the keyboard and her laptop screen lit up with lines of white code. "I'm in," Chloe said after five stressful minutes. "It wasn't that secure at all." "I'm looking at the screen, but I don't see anything," Clare said over the video chat. "Where are the files?" "I didn't give you access. I gave me access." Chloe shot me a sly grin. "You and Vito can meet us here and Simi can share what we find." Clare's lips pressed into a thin line. "I didn't think subterfuge was your style." "You never made an effort to get to know me," Chloe said. "Never trust a hacker." "My mom is the bomb." Olivia pumped her fist. "I'm going to be a hacker just like her." "You can be a white-hat hacker and help people," Chloe replied. "If I ever catch you doing black-hat hacking like this, I'll take your phone away forever.

When I was a kid I got sick,” Ben says. “Like really sick. Um, you know, like cancer. I wasn’t supposed to live past ten.” Slowly I register his words. I turn to him. “I spent a year in bed, by myself, just sort of thinking about what was going to happen when I died. I can’t really … it was dark. My mom was always trying not to cry around me, but I could hear her at night. It’s what broke my parents up, the stress of it. My dad was kind of a dick about it, but that’s just how he is.” Leaves sailing through the wind. “None of my friends know about it, it was a long time ago, and it’s not, you know, easy to talk about. And I mean I lived, so it’s not … I don’t know. Anyway, I guess I never expected illness to be the biggest part of my life again. Or maybe I’ve been expecting it all along, in some part of myself I try to ignore. But I never expected to be the healthy one and to lose the people I love. It didn’t really occur to me that that was a possibility.

whispers. “She loves talking about food.” I’m surprised that Elizabeth has picked up on it. “How do you know she’s not always this serious?” I whisper back. “Your mom is friendly. Last week she kept a smile on her face, even when kids were giving her a hard time.” Mama is definitely like that. Always smiling. The thought of the big stack of bills on the kitchen table rises in my mind. Another person would have been crying at the idea of debt, or at least getting angry or stressed out. But not her. “That’s my

HalleBeauty: Beauty Without Boundaries At HalleBeauty, we’re rewriting the beauty rules—starting with effortless glam that’s as fierce as you are. Say goodbye to complicated routines and hello to glueless wigs that let you glow on your terms. This is beauty for women who wear many crowns—entrepreneurs, students, creatives, moms, and queens of every kind. No stress. No glue. Just pure, flawless confidence. Real Hair. Real Life. Real Gorgeous. HalleBeauty’s glueless wigs are the ultimate hack for bold women who want it all: quality, ease, and style. Each wig is made with premium human hair, giving you the look and feel of natural beauty without compromise. Forget salon appointments and sticky glue. These wigs are breathable, adjustable, and beginner-friendly. Snap it on, style it your way, and go conquer your day—your beauty, your pace. Designed to Move with You Whether you're headed to a 9 AM meeting or a 9 PM date night, HalleBeauty keeps up. Our beauty solutions are built for women on the move. With glueless wigs that don’t budge and makeup that lasts all day, you never have to choose between busy and beautiful. Fast, flawless, and fierce—that’s how we do it. Styles That Speak Volumes Every mood deserves a look. HalleBeauty’s collection of glueless wigs lets you switch things up whenever inspiration strikes: Sleek straight styles for boss moves Curly crowns for bold statements Soft waves for laid-back glam There’s no wrong way to wear your power. You get the flexibility to express yourself—without the stress. What Sets HalleBeauty Apart We’re not just another beauty brand. We’re a movement. HalleBeauty exists to celebrate the beauty, brilliance, and strength of every woman. With us, you get: High-quality glueless wigs that are made to last Makeup must-haves that fit your vibe A community of women who uplift and inspire We’re not here to cover you up—we’re here to help you stand out. Luxury That Feels Like You Luxury should be effortless. With HalleBeauty, it is. Our wigs are breathable, lightweight, and ready to wear in seconds. No stylist needed. No damage done. It’s all the glam, none of the guesswork. Step Into Your Spotlight You were never meant to blend in. At HalleBeauty, we’re here to help you shine even brighter—with looks that match your lifestyle and beauty that never holds you back.

Before I ventured into the world of cryptocurrency, my mom warned me that it wasn’t a "real" investment. "You can’t see or touch it like real estate," she said, "and it’s too unstable." I brushed off her concerns, thinking they stemmed from old-fashioned skepticism. The world was changing rapidly, and I didn’t want to be left behind. I started small with a company that traded Bitcoin and stocks, along with energy and raw materials a mix that seemed smart and promising. After receiving steady payouts in the first month, my confidence grew, and I decided to invest more. That was my big mistake. Once I deposited $92,700, the company vanished without a trace. I lost access to my account, and customer support was non-existent just silence. I had fallen for a classic scam: they reeled me in with small profits before disappearing with my hard-earned money. Panicked and desperate, I considered hiring a hacker to track them down. Initially, I kept my situation a secret, but as the stress became unbearable, I confessed to my dad. Instead of lecturing me, he surprised me with a potential solution: RAPID DIGITAL RECOVERY, a team his friend had successfully used in the past to recover lost funds. I contacted them. It felt like a miracle to recover lost funds , and I was overwhelmed with relief. I couldn’t believe that I had gotten my money back after such a harrowing experience. Looking back, I realize my parents’ warnings weren’t just "old-school" thinking they were based on wisdom and experience. The world of cryptocurrency can be incredibly risky, and scams are everywhere, preying on unsuspecting investors. If you ever find yourself trapped in a similar nightmare, I highly recommend RAPID DIGITAL RECOVERY. They have the expertise and resources to help you navigate these treacherous waters. This has taught me a valuable lesson: always listen to the advice of those who care about you. I’ve learned to approach investments with caution and to thoroughly research any opportunity before diving in. I now understand the importance of being vigilant and informed, especially in a landscape as volatile as cryptocurrency and stocks. They gave me a second chance, and I am forever grateful. I recovered all the money. VISIT THEM OUT: WhatSapp: +1 4 14 80 71 4 85 Telegram Info: https:// t.me / Rapid digital recovery519 Email Info: rapid digital recovery (@) execs. com

The next morning, while everyone else sat in the waiting area, Mia and I met with the doctor. “Well, I have good news and bad news,” Dr. Genecov said. “The bad news is that she needs this surgery, and we need to get it on the books right now. The good news is that I’ve worked with a company to invent a new device. Instead of using the halo, I can now do everything internally.” What? Did I just hear what I think I heard? He continued talking, but I honestly didn’t hear anything for the next few seconds while I tried to process this new information. Seriously? I can’t believe this! I thought. Where did this come from? I knew he was working on a better bone graft procedure before we needed it, but this just came out of nowhere! I tried my best to hold myself together. All I wanted to do was call Jase and tell him this news. Actually, I wanted to climb the nearest mountain (if there were mountains in Dallas) and shout it from the top of my lungs! After thanking him profusely, Mia and I walked down the hall for our appointment with Dr. Sperry. “Do you know what you just avoided?” Dr. Sperry asked, grinning from ear to ear. “A shaved head, the intensive care unit for a week, and a much longer recovery period.” That was it. I couldn’t hold back any longer and let my tears flow. Mia looked at me in surprise. If I was embarrassing her, I didn’t care. It was for a good reason. “Dr. Genecov has been working hard to perfect this procedure, and he has done it one time so far.” She looked right at Mia and said, “And I’m convinced he did that one to get ready for you.” Mia smiled and said, “Cool.” Mia had enjoyed her honeymoon period. She felt no stress or anxiety about the future, which was a great blessing. I was thankful that I had not told her about the distraction surgery and glad that my eleven-year-old daughter didn’t understand all that she had been spared because of this development. When I filled in my mom, Bonny, and Tori on this unexpected and exhilarating news, they all gasped, then shouted and hugged me. All I could think of was how grateful I was to my Father in heaven. He had done this. Why? I don’t know. But I knew He had chosen this moment for Dr. Genecov to perfect a new invention that would spare my daughter, at this exact time in her life, the ordeal of a device that would have been surgically screwed into her skull. After getting to the parking lot, I immediately called Jase with this incredible news. Like me, he was having a hard time wrapping his head around it. “How many of these has he done?” I hesitated, then said, “One.” “One? He’s done one? I don’t know about this, Missy.” I quickly reminded him of Dr. Genecov’s success in the new bone graft surgery and said, “Babe, I think it’s worth the risk. He’s proven to us just how good he is.” Jase is not one to make a quick decision about anything, but before our phone call ended, he agreed that we should move forward with the surgery.

Instead, learn to seek and embrace the unique life God has for you at this age and stage of motherhood. Take a deep breath. Pause. Stop stressing. Quit running. Just relax.

We put undue pressure on our kids to keep us happy (or at least to behave well so we can pretend to be happy). But this expectation is misaligned. The truth is, if we are living by emotions that are based on circumstances, we will inevitably be disappointed. If we didn’t put so much pressure on our children to accomplish what they were never intended to, I think we’d enjoy them a lot more.

Elisabeth Elliot emphasizes why it’s hard to capture thoughts: “The taking of captives is not a gentle business. They don’t want to come.”[2] In other words, we have to expect a fight as we change our thought patterns. We need to show up dressed for battle, not with our yoga pants around our ankles.

I want to be excited for the life God has for me—even if it includes blowout diapers, too-loud dinners, and a lack of massages.

Stress comes from pressure—the tensions, emergencies, and the everyday minutia of life. In short, life is a pressure cooker and whether you remain serene or become stressed-out depends on how you handle that pressure.

The logistics of getting them around were just completely insurmountable,” said Hanson-Press. “I was really stressed every single day about getting them around.” Cue HopSkipDrive, a Los Angeles start-up that has been described as ride-hailing for children. Founded by three Angelenos who are also moms, the service chauffeurs only children ages 7 to 17. In many ways, it's similar to transport network companies such as Uber, Lyft and SideCar (Uber requires customers to be over 18). Drivers are contractors who use their own vehicles to transport passengers. All drivers undergo third-party background checks and vehicle inspections. Parents can book rides for their kids through a mobile app and pay through a cashless transaction. But there are also significant differences. Unlike Uber, whose drivers simply need to have experience behind the wheel, HopSkipDrive drivers are required to have at least five years of experience caring for children (this can mean people who are themselves parents, nannies, teachers, camp counselors, etc.). And like Shuddle, a similar service that operates in the San Francisco Bay Area, all drivers are vetted in person. HopSkipDrive checks drivers' references and will even go for a ride with each driver it signs up. All rides are covered by insurance specific to transporting minors.

How to handle the stress of it all when you don’t even know that your life is stressful? Women saying “my nerves are shot” was the closest anyone came to examining the situation. What they didn’t discuss, though, they felt. That’s what substances were for. Every adult I knew was addicted to something—mostly cigarettes or booze. Also pills, both prescribed and gotten by other means. The women of my mom’s family, who had grown up in Wichita with doctors nearby during decades when health care was cheaper, were sold on the idea of prescriptions for symptoms rooted in psychological strife. Most of them were on “thyroid medicine” for exhaustion, “nerve pills” for anxiety.

Nail these markers at the expected times and your social age is right on track. But if you dare deviate, your social age may fall much younger or older than the norm, which could affect you in ways you might not expect. Being a teenage mom, feeling the pressure to be in a serious relationship or on a career track, going back to school in your thirties, or not being financially able to retire are just a few deviations from the norm that could bring on what scientists call “social stress.

Ihung up with Josh, and the switch flipped in my head. Sloan called it my velociraptor brain because it made me fierce and sharp. Something big had to trigger it, and when it did, my compulsive, laser-focused, primal side activated. The one that got me a near perfect score on my SATs and got me through college finals and Mom. The one that made me clean when I was stressed and threatened to launch into full-scale manic OCD if left unchecked—that kicked in. Emotion drained away, the tiredness from staying up all night crying dissipated, and I became my purpose. I didn’t do hysterics. Never had. When in crisis, I became systematic and efficient. And the transition was now complete. I weighed only for a second whether to call Sloan and tell her or go pick her up. I decided to pick her up. She would be too upset to drive properly, but knowing her, she would try anyway. From Josh’s explanation of the situation, Brandon wouldn’t be out of the hospital anytime soon. Sloan wouldn’t leave Brandon, and I wouldn’t leave her. She would need things for the stay. People would need to be called. Arrangements made. I began to compile a list in my head of things to do and things to pack as I quickly but methodically drove to Sloan’s. Phone charger, headphones, blanket, change of clothes for Sloan, toiletries, and her laptop. It took me twenty minutes to get to her house, and I got out of my car ready for a surgical extraction. I stood there, surrounded by the earthy smell of Sloan’s just-watered potted porch flowers. The door opened, and I took in her blissfully ignorant face one more time. “Kristen?” It wasn’t unusual for me to stop by. But she knew me well enough to instantly know something was wrong. “Sloan, Brandon has been in an accident,” I said calmly. “He’s alive, but I need you to get your purse and come with me.” I knew immediately that I’d been right to come get her instead of calling. One look at her and I knew she wouldn’t have been able to put a foot in front of the other. While I mobilized and became strong under stress, she froze and weakened. “What?  ” she breathed. “We have to hurry. Come on.” I pushed past her and systematically executed my checklist. I gave myself a two-minute window to grab what was needed. Her gym bag would be in the laundry room, already filled with toiletries and her headphones. I grabbed that, pulled a sweater from her closet, selected a change of clothes for her, and stuffed her laptop inside the bag. When I came out of the room, she had managed to grab her purse as instructed. She stood by the sofa looking shaken, her eyes moving back and forth like she was trying to figure out what was happening. Her cell phone sat by her easel and I snatched it, pulling the charger from the wall. I grabbed her favorite throw blanket from the sofa and stuffed that in the bag and zipped it. List complete. Then I took her by the elbow, locked her front door, and dragged her to the car. “Wha…what happened? What happened!” she screamed, finally coming out of her shock. I opened up the passenger door and put her in. “Buckle yourself up. I’ll tell you what I know on the way.” When I got around to the driver’s side, she had her phone to her ear. “He’s not answering. He’s not answering! What happened, Kristen?!” I grabbed her face in my hands. “Listen to me. Look at me. He is alive. He was hit on his bike. Josh went on the call. He was unconscious. It was clear he had some broken bones and a possible head injury. He’s at the ER, and I need to get you to the hospital to be with him. But I need you to be calm.” Her brown eyes were terrified, but she nodded. “Right now your job is to call Brandon’s family,” I said firmly. “Relay what I just said to you, calmly. Can you do that for Brandon?” She nodded again. “Yes.” Her hands shook, but she dialed.

Happy Mother’s Day to all moms on earth! By your wombs, humanity got its birth. Though no one’s perfect, some even faltered, your worth to the world has never altered. Must we yet count all your sacrifices? Can we weigh all your worries and stresses? You’re always there both in our tears and laughs, thanking you today seems just not enough!

While it may take some ingenuity to create the space in your day, taking time to nourish your spirit is the single most important thing you can do for the well-being of all.

Remember that loving yourself and nourishing your spirit is loving the family you care for, and there is no better way to start your day than connecting with the beauty inside you.

There are so many things to remember, and I guess what ultimately stresses me out is the idea that other moms—at school or out there in the wild world—are somehow way better at keeping track of this than I am. I am one of the most organized people I have ever met, and even with all of my planning, I still am constantly forgetting things—or remembering them at midnight the night before they’re due. And no matter what I do or create or volunteer for, some mythical “other mom” at school has done it better. “Yes, Mommy, you can buy the T-shirt we need for make-your-own-T-shirt day, but Liam’s mom grew organic cotton plants. Then she hand-separated the seed from the fiber before spinning it into thread and fabric for the shirt she sewed him herself.” I can’t even begin to keep up, and the stress of trying to do so can make me crazy. So this year I made a big decision. I’m over it. I am utterly over the idea of crushing back-to-school time—or any other part of school for that matter! I do some parts of it well. Our morning routine might be choreographed chaos, but we are never late to school. My kids (with the exception of the four-year-old) are well groomed and well mannered, and they get good grades. Beyond that, they are good people—the kind of kids who befriend the outcasts and the loners. Sure, they attack each other at home and are dramatic enough about their lack of access to technology to earn themselves Oscars, but whatever. We are doing pretty good—and pretty good is way better than trying to fake perfection any day of the week.

A few years ago, I was desperate to have a fertile, round-bellied body like hers. But now I understood that if I had gotten pregnant, I would have been dealing with Hugh’s infidelity, coping with a toxic level of stress at the height of my vulnerability. That’s what Kelly was facing. My life would have gone one of two ways: either I would have divorced Hugh and become a single mom, or stayed and raised a child in a marriage filled with mistrust and resentment. I did not envy Kelly. For the first time, I entertained the idea that I’d gotten off easy with Hugh.

don’t want to beat a dead lamb, but let me say again that contradictions between Old Testament laws aren’t exactly an industry secret. Jewish tradition has wrestled with them since before Christianity. Biblical scholars write books about it. Who knows, perhaps a future episode of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel will have Midge’s mom stressed out about how exactly to prepare the Passover lamb.

need sleep? I need to do whatever it takes to restore physically. 2. Have I been reading my Bible? Even if it is putting an app on my phone with a voice I can listen to while still in bed in the mornings or at night, I need to hear from the God who walks through these valleys with me. 3. Do I feel alone? I need to call someone who is a spiritually engaging friend, one who loves God, loves me, and whom I can completely trust. I will meet that person for coffee or lunch to share my heart and to ask for prayer. 4. Am I watching my health? Exercise is a stress reducer and helps happy hormones to develop. I have developed the habit of walking and hiking. 5. How can I get help? Is there someone who can help me clean my home? Do I have a friend I can ask to keep my kids, so I can have a little time away? 6. What do I need to invest in the joy factor of my life? Am I creating spaces of beauty for my own soul—candles, music, fresh flowers, and other such life-giving things? Perhaps it’s as simple as going to a movie with my husband or friend, or buying a new scarf.

Those early months with Penn, he told me - how anxious and stressed-out I was - were really hard on him. He didn't know if he could do it again...In that moment, I was certain it was my fault: if I'd been a better mother when our baby was new, if I'd been less of a nightmare as a wife, he wouldn't be saying no now. If I could have just done better, been calmer, worked harder at being relaxed...Those months had been hard. They were hard for me, as I cried and raged and cried. I felt terrible, and I felt alone. When I was having a bad time, my husband was having his own bad time, too. I hadn't realized how alone he felt, too. How alone we'd both been.

My mom used to bug me and say the Virgo in me would stress clean. I laughed her off, but the older I get, the more I wonder if she was onto something.

Picture an overwhelmed, anxious fifteen-year-old. How do you think being told “anxiety is a belief issue”8 would affect her? Because that’s what she would read in Lies Young Women Believe, and our already anxious girl might wonder if she has failed God. That same girl might hear something similar watching “5 Tips for Overcoming Crazy Girl Emotions” on the Girl Defined YouTube channel, run by Bethany Beal and Kristen Clark. In their video, Beal and Clark explain: “If our hearts and thoughts are in a godly place, our emotions will be peaceful. . . . Our emotions are a reflection of what’s going on in our hearts. . . . Our emotions are a dictator of where our heart is.” Listing the fruits of the Spirit, they conclude, “[The fruits of the Spirit] result in awesome emotions. If that’s what’s on the inside, the emotions will be stable on the outside, not like a hurricane. The opposites of the fruits of the Spirit are things like anger, anxiety, worry, things the Bible actually calls sin.”9 Read the Prophets, though, and you won’t exactly see accounts of people who were emotionally placid—but you will see a lot of hurricanes of emotion. Hearing that we need to take every thought captive and confront our depression and worry and focus on gratitude may work wonderfully for the stressed-out thirty-five-year-old who gets a bit grumpy sometimes. But for the fifteen-year-old who feels isolated and alone and wonders how she can get up in the morning? When you’re dealing with all-or-nothing thinking, this advice, when not paired with an acknowledgment of how deep and debilitating depression can be, can cause shame, as we’ve heard from these mothers: • “My daughter asked to stop going to church because of the predominant views taught in youth group about mental health (all depression/anxiety is a spiritual problem). She loves Jesus and seeks to know God/understand how she was made by him uniquely and perfectly. To be told she isn’t yielding to God or knowing who she is in Christ as a result of autism and related anxiety was as un-Christlike as it comes. I stay home on Sundays with her now.” • “My children were told during a chapel service at their Christian school that it was a sin against God to feel anxious or depressed. One of them was in therapy at the time for issues that were in part aggravated by the school environment. My children are no longer at that school.” These moms protected their kids. But it’s an embarrassment to the gospel that our Christian spaces can be so cold and unfeeling toward those in our midst who need the most compassion.

The biggest threat to your changed behavior comes from your past habits. The behavior change sticks around for awhile, but when stress or boredom strikes, your old ways show up again. Before long, your new habit has all but disappeared.

Doesn’t it stress you out? Having to babysit her so she doesn’t forget she has a daughter she needs to bring with her when she moves?” “Yeah.” She tugged her sweater over her head. “But I’m used to it.” I recognise the defensiveness in her tone. It was the same one I used to Elton whenever he’d put down my mom, even though I complained about her constantly. It was okay for me to be angry, but if anyone else commented, I’d defend her with my last breath. The complication of having a complicated parent.

High-sugar and high-carbohydrate food causes inflammation. Psychological stress, obesity and blood sugar also activate your platelets to clot by stirring up more inflammation. Small clumps of stuck together platelets, called blood clots, circulate throughout the blood vessels. These clots lodge into the tiniest of blood vessels and stop flow inside organs like the brain and heart.

weren’t even sure if mom’s stress hormones could reach her baby. But they do, and that has long-lasting behavioral consequences, especially if the woman is severely or chronically stressed in those hypersensitive last months of pregnancy. What kind of consequences?

Maybe Becca is right. Maybe I should take up yoga. Except that I tried it that one time with Lilly and her mom at the 92nd Street Y, and they made you stick your butt up in the air the whole time. How is sticking your butt up into the air supposed to make you feel less stressed? It just made me feel MORE stressed, because I kept wondering what everyone was thinking about my butt.

At the center of this reaction is a region of the brain called the amygdala, our internal alarm system. When faced with the unknown, the amygdala triggers stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol—heart pounding, senses on edge, stomach uneasy, mom's spaghetti—great for real danger but breeding anxiety when the ‘threat’ is only abstract.

I don’t have to admit anything.’ He took a small mug and scooped pasta water into the pan with the garlic and the oil. Iris watched with interest. She was going to accuse him of being a food snob, but it all looked and smelled so good, that mocking him just seemed absurd now. He strained the spaghetti and tossed that in the pan, too, coating the pasta with the oil and garlic. Iris’s stomach grumbled in anticipation. He took two plain white bowls from the cabinet and twirled a perfect nest of pasta in each bowl, sprinkling some fresh parsley and parmesan cheese on each portion. Iris wanted to crawl inside and live in that pasta nest forever. ‘That looks so good,’ she nearly moaned. Damn this man and his pasta-making skills! Resisting his adorable dad-ness was one thing, but serving up a big ol’ bowl of carbs and cheese was going to be another thing altogether. ‘Buon appetito.’ ‘Jesus, man. Just give me the food and cut that out.’ Archer smirked and slid the bowl across the island. As expected, the meal was incredible. Like insanely good. Like so good that an hour ago Iris was planning her ‘I quit’ speech and now she was considering declaring her undying love for this man and his food. It was concerning. But she was full and exhausted from this stressful day and between the food and the wine and Archer’s dimple, she had been lulled into a cozy contentment she hadn’t felt in a very long time. Maybe not since those days in Josie’s kitchen, watching her neighbor cook while she chatted to her about everything from her mom’s latest boyfriend to the bike she wanted for her birthday. Was this why people wanted a partner? This feeling at the end of a rough day that they’d survived something together? She had to admit it was nice. She’d always had her mom and her aunt and her cousin. She collected friends like she collected new careers. But maybe having a partner would be different. Sitting here, laughing and drinking with Archer. Decompressing after taking care of a sick kid all day, it was … it was something she could maybe see herself wanting. Someday. Not today.

Art and Craft: A Journey of Creativity and Expression Craft is the skill to create things with your hands and creative resources. Paper folding, furnishing, painting, cutting shapes, recycling, fabric crafts, and plenty other activities are all included. Art and Craft is present in every location, including homes, workplaces, festivals, and schools. It inspires creativity and teaches how to transform everyday things into beautiful creations. Art and Craft is a bright, imaginative, and colorful the cosmos. It enables people of all ages to use basic materials like paper, glue, cloth, and more to express their thoughts. At The Force Strike, we think that crafting is a great method to foster creativity, confidence, and skill development in addition to being a fun pastime. For this reason, we feel happy to present Art and Craft after school programme by The Force Strike, our unique curriculum. What You Will Learn Background IconBackground Icon Here’s a list of exciting topics and activities included in the Art and Craft after school programme by The ForceStrike: Paper Crafts Paper flowers, greeting cards, and origami (paper folding) Paper shapes and animals; ornamental wall hangings Recycled Craft Eco-friendly home décor goods; crafts made from used boxes, bottles, and newspapers; and best-out-of-waste activities Festival & Seasonal Crafts Making Rakhi, Diwali lanterns and diyas, and Christmas ornaments Ideas for birthday decorations School Project Models Models of the solar system, water cycle, volcanoes, and cities Innovative presentation boards Benefits of Art and Craft Learning at The Force Strike Background IconBackground Icon A stress-free setting that fosters creativity Through projects, gain experience in time management and planning. Improve motor skills, especially in younger students. All ability levels can benefit from it, from total novices to imaginative students. Appreciation of each student's work Who Can Join? The Art and Craft after school programme is open to: Kids (ages 5 and above) School and college students Moms or homemakers who enjoy creativity No experience or special background is needed—just the love of making things!

Okay honestly, I’m sitting here right now with my third coffee trying to figure out how to start this because I keep thinking about this one client. She called me up last month, absolutely panicked. Just bought a 4BHK in DLF, probably cost her close to 4 crores, and she’s standing in this blank space crying because she has no idea what to do with it. Her words were literally “I feel like I’ve made a huge mistake.” She didn’t make a mistake though. What she needed was a luxury interior designer in DLF Gurgaon who actually knew their way around these properties and genuinely gave a shit about making her feel at home instead of just impressing her with some trendy design nonsense. That’s where I came in. That’s what being a real luxury interior designer in DLF Gurgaon is about. That’s what got me into this business honestly. It wasn’t because I dreamed of being an interior designer since I was five. It was because I saw my parents buy this beautiful house and hire someone who basically turned it into a showroom. My mom hated it. She felt uncomfortable in her own home. So I dragged my dad to fire the designer and I said “let me try.” I was maybe 25, completely clueless, but I listened to what my mom actually wanted instead of what I thought looked cool. And you know what? It turned out amazing. My parents still live in that house thirty years later and they still tell people their son designed it. That’s when I realized – this isn’t about being a designer. It’s about being a listener and someone who genuinely cares about how people live in their spaces. Understanding Luxury Interior Design in DLF Gurgaon What Makes Luxury Interior Design Different Alright so here’s what pisses me off – people throw the word “luxury” around like it means something. You see these Instagram accounts with all these pristine, perfect rooms that nobody actually lives in. They’re like museums. Nobody’s watching TV in those spaces, nobody’s eating dinner there, nobody’s having a bad day and just collapsing on the couch with a glass of wine. Real luxury? That’s completely different. That’s walking into a space and feeling like you can breathe. That’s sitting on your sofa and thinking “this is exactly where I want to be right now.” That’s your friends coming over and feeling welcome and comfortable instead of like they’re in some fancy hotel lobby where they can’t touch anything. I had this meeting last year with a couple, right? Super wealthy, they could buy whatever they wanted. And the husband told me something that stuck with me. He said “I don’t want to feel like I’m living in a catalog.” That hit me because that’s what happens when designers prioritize looking good over feeling good. When I start working with someone, I’m asking all kinds of weird questions that probably don’t sound like designer questions. I want to know – do you have kids? How old? What do they do? Are they messy? Do you have pets? What’s your work like? Are you stressed or relaxed when you come home? Do you cook? What’s your biggest complaint about your current space? What time do you wake up? Do you like natural light or do you hate it? What’s something that makes you genuinely happy?

One of Dr. Epel's studies found that caregiving mothers of chronically ill children had shorter telomeres than their counterparts of the same age. This biological age deficit was proportionate to both the number of years of caregiving and the degree of stress as perceived by the moms. Similar results were seen in caregivers of people with dementia: shortened telomeres and impaired immunity, reinforcing the idea that "chronic psychological stress has a negative impact on immune cell function and may accelerate their aging." In other words, stress ages our chromosomes, and therefore ages us.

Common Narcissistic Phrases (Parent) “I sacrificed everything for you” “You owe me for all I’ve done for you” “You’re so ungrateful” “I’m the best parent you could ever have” “You’ll never find someone who loves you as much as me” “You’re just like “ (negative comparison in the family) “I know what’s best for you” “You’re the reason for my stress” “Why can’t you be more like your sibling?” “You’ll never survive on your own” “I did it for your own good” “I’m the only one who will ever understand you” When Your Mother Is a Narcissist Being raised by a narcissistic mother means that she was emotionally immature. She was either explosive or forgot you were there until she needed something. Maybe you didn’t get attention for doing well because that’s what was expected. However, the moment you were less than perfect, her mask would come off. You grew up being unfairly compared to your siblings or even your cousins outside the home. You grew up with a lack of privacy. In your childhood home, it was ALWAYS about mom. Her mood set the tone for the entire household. If mom wasn’t happy, nobody was happy.