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ReaÂsons Why I Loved BeÂing With Jen
I love what a good friend you are. Youâre reÂally enÂgaged with the lives of the peoÂple you love. You orÂgaÂnize lovely exÂpeÂriÂences for them. You make an efÂfort with them, youâre paÂtient with them, even when theyâre sideÂtracked by their chilÂdren and canât priÂorÂiÂtize you in the way you priÂorÂiÂtize them.
Youâve got a genÂerÂous heart and it exÂtends to peoÂple youâve never even met, whereas I think that evÂeryÂone is out to get me. I used to say you were naive, but reÂally I was jealÂous that you alÂways thought the best of peoÂple.
You are a bit too anxÂious about beÂing seen to be a good perÂson and you defÂiÂnitely go a bit overÂboard with your left-wing polÂiÂtics to prove a point to evÂeryÂone. But I know you reÂally do care. I know youâd sign peÂtiÂtions and help peoÂple in need and volÂunÂteer at the homeÂless shelÂter at ChristÂmas even if no one knew about it. And thatâs more than can be said for a lot of us.
I love how quickly you read books and how abÂsorbed you get in a good story. I love watchÂing you lie on the sofa readÂing one from cover-to-cover. Itâs like Iâm in the room with you but youâre in a whole other galÂaxy.
I love that youâre alÂways tryÂing to imÂprove yourÂself. Whether itâs running marathons or setÂting yourÂself chalÂlenges on an app to learn French or the fact you go to therÂapy evÂery week. You work hard to beÂcome a betÂter verÂsion of yourÂself. I think I probÂaÂbly didnât make my adÂmiÂraÂtion for this known and inÂstead it came off as irÂriÂtaÂtion, which I donât reÂally feel at all.
I love how dedÂiÂcated you are to your famÂily, even when theyâre anÂnoyÂing you. Your loyÂalty to them wound me up someÂtimes, but itâs only beÂcause I wish I came from a big famÂily.
I love that you alÂways know what to say in conÂverÂsaÂtion. You ask the right quesÂtions and you know exÂactly when to talk and when to lisÂten. EvÂeryÂone loves talkÂing to you beÂcause you make evÂeryÂone feel imÂporÂtant.
I love your style. I know you think I probÂaÂbly never noÂticed what you were wearÂing or how you did your hair, but I loved seeÂing how you get ready, sitÂting in front of the full-length mirÂror in our bedÂroom while you did your make-up, even though there was a mirÂror on the dressÂing taÂble.
I love that youâre mad enough to swim in the English sea in NoÂvemÂber and that youâd pick up spiÂders in the bath with your bare hands. Youâre brave in a way that Iâm not.
I love how free you are. Youâre a very free perÂson, and I never gave you the satÂisÂfacÂtion of sayÂing it, which I should have done. No one knows it about you beÂcause of your borÂing, high-presÂsure job and your stuffy upÂbringÂing, but I know what an adÂvenÂturer you are unÂderÂneath all that.
I love that you got drunk at JackÂsonâs chrisÂtenÂing and you alÂways wanted to have one more drink at the pub and you never comÂplained about getÂting up early to go to work with a hangÂover. Other than Avi, you are the perÂson Iâve had the most fun with in my life.
And even though I gave you a hard time for alÂways tryÂing to for alÂways tryÂing to imÂpress your dad, I acÂtuÂally found it very adorable beÂcause it made me see the child in you and the teenager in you, and if I could time-travel to anyÂwhere in hisÂtory, I swear, Jen, the only place Iâd want to go is to the house where you grew up and hug you and tell you how beauÂtiÂful and clever and funny you are. That you are specÂtacÂuÂlar even withÂout all your sports trophies and muÂsic cerÂtifiÂcates and inÂcredÂiÂble grades and OxÂford acÂcepÂtance.
Iâm sorry that I loved you so much more than I liked myÂself, that must have been a lot to carry. Iâm sorry I didnât take care of you the way you took care of me. And Iâm sorry I didnât take care of myÂself, eiÂther. I need to work on it. Iâm pleased that our break-up taught me that. Iâm sorry I went so mental.
I love you. I always will. I'm glad we met.
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