“
Imagine smiling after a slap in the face. Then think of doing it twenty-four hours a day.
”
”
Markus Zusak (The Book Thief)
“
You guessed? You must have been pretty sure, considering you could have killed me."
"I was ninety percent sure."
"I see," Clary said. There must have been something in her voice, because he turned to look at her. Her hand cracked across his face, a slap that rocked him back on his heels. He put his hands on his cheek, more in surprise than pain.
"What the hell was that for?"
"The other ten percent.
”
”
Cassandra Clare (City of Bones (The Mortal Instruments, #1))
“
My palms itched to have a close encounter of the bitch-slap kind with his face.
”
”
Jennifer L. Armentrout (Obsidian (Lux, #1))
“
What's wrong, little sis? You look upset."
She could barely catch her breath. "Cracked...my...nail polish slapping your... worthless face. See?" She showed him her finger - just one of them.
"Cute" He snorted.
”
”
Cassandra Clare (City of Lost Souls (The Mortal Instruments, #5))
“
Woman?” She chuckled. “Is that meant to insult me? I would return the slap, if I took you for a man.” Dany met his stare. “I am Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, the Unburnt, Mother of Dragons, khaleesi to Drogo’s riders, and queen of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros.
”
”
George R.R. Martin (A Storm of Swords (A Song of Ice and Fire, #3))
“
Andrea raised her hand. “This is the hand that slapped Aunt B.”
“Maybe you should have it gold-plated.”
“Here, you can touch it, since you’re my best friend.
”
”
Ilona Andrews (Magic Slays (Kate Daniels, #5))
“
Jace?"
"Yeah?"
"How did you know I had Shadowhunter blood? Was there some way you could tell?"
The elevator arrived with a final groan. Jace unlatched the gate and slid it open. The inside reminded Clary of a birdcage, all black metal and decorative bits of gilt. "I guessed," he said, latching the door behind them. "It seemed like the most likely explanation."
"You guessed? You must have been pretty sure, considering you could have killed me."
He pressed a button in the wall, and the elevator lurched into action with a vibrating groan that she felt all through the bones in her feet. "I was ninety percent sure."
"I see," Clary said.
There must have been something in her voice, because he turned to look at her. Her hand cracked across his face, a slap that rocked him back on his heels. He put a hand to his cheek, more in surprise than pain. "What the hell was that for?"
The other ten percent," she said, and they rode the rest of the way down to the street in silence.
”
”
Cassandra Clare (City of Bones (The Mortal Instruments, #1))
“
Jace looked as if she had slapped him. "Why are you determined not to believe us?"
"Because she loves you," said Valentine.
Clary felt the blood drain out of her face.
”
”
Cassandra Clare (City of Bones (The Mortal Instruments, #1))
“
sometimes no matter how many eyelashes or dandelion seeds you blow, no matter how much of your heart you tear out and slap on your sleeve, it just ain't gonna happen.
”
”
Melissa Jensen (The Fine Art of Truth or Dare)
“
I was in the biggest breakdown of my life when I stopped crying long enough to let the words of my epiphany really sink in. That whore, karma, had finally made her way around, and had just bitch-slapped me right across the face. The realization only made me cry harder.
”
”
Jennifer Salaiz
“
Well, someone slap my butt and give me a hero cookie. (Nick)
”
”
Sherrilyn Kenyon (Infinity (Chronicles of Nick, #1))
“
I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her.
”
”
Stephenie Meyer (New Moon (The Twilight Saga, #2))
“
And if he left me of his own free will, then he should get ready for the bitch-slapping of his life.
”
”
L.J. Smith
“
Then, in the spirit of benevolence, "Your face is well balanced." She slapped him encouragingly on the back, "You have very long eyelashes. Like a cow.
”
”
C.S. Pacat (Captive Prince: Volume Two (Captive Prince, #2))
“
Butch tightened his grip on his cell and wished there were an app that let you reach through a phone and bitch slap someone.
”
”
J.R. Ward (Lover Unleashed (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #9))
“
I want to slap him. But the asshole would probably like it, and then turn around and slap me back. And my dumbass self would probably like it, too.
”
”
H.D. Carlton (Haunting Adeline (Cat and Mouse, #1))
“
If a guy is taking his girl for granted, he really deserves a slap, with a baseball bat.
”
”
Louis Tomlinson
“
Do you remember,” he said, “when we first met and I told you I was ninety percent sure putting a rune on you wouldn’t kill you—and you slapped me in the face and told me it was for the other ten percent?” Clary nodded.
“I always figured a demon would kill me,” he said. “A rogue Downworlder. A battle. But I realized then that I just might die if I didn’t get to kiss you, and soon.” Clary licked her dry lips. “Well, you did,” she said. “Kiss me, I mean.”
He reached up and took a curl of her hair between his fingers. He was close enough that she could feel the warmth of his body, smell his soap and skin and hair.
“Not enough,” he said, letting her hair slip through his fingers. “If I kiss you all day every day for the rest of my life, it won’t be enough.
”
”
Cassandra Clare (City of Lost Souls (The Mortal Instruments, #5))
“
Lord, Give me the strength not to bitch slap this woman.
”
”
J.D. Robb
“
Have you ever seen anything quite as pathetic?" said Malfoy. "And he’s supposed to be our teacher!"
Harry and Ron both made furious moves toward Malfoy, but Hermione got there first - SMACK!
She had slapped Malfoy across the face with all the strength she could muster. Malfoy staggered. Harry, Ron, Crabbe, and Goyle stood flabbergasted as Hermione raised her hand again.
"Don’t you dare call Hagrid pathetic you foul—you evil—"
"Hermione!" said Ron weakly and he tried to grab her hand as she swung it back.
"Get off Ron!"
Hermione pulled out her wand. Malfoy stepped backward. Crabbe and Goyle looked at him for instructions, thoroughly bewildered.
"C’mon," Malfoy muttered, and in a moment, all three of them had disappeared into the passageway to the dungeons.
"Hermione!" Ron said again, sounding both stunned and impressed.
”
”
J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Harry Potter, #3))
“
Are you going to apologize for slapping me?"
"No."
"I didn't think so," he said.
”
”
Andrea Cremer (Nightshade (Nightshade, #1; Nightshade World, #4))
“
I'd bitch slap the devil for you.
”
”
Janet Evanovich
“
Next time I want to do something nice, slap me.
”
”
Simone Elkeles
“
The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as
obvious. In fact, even among women who have experienced violence from a partner, half or more report that the man’s emotional abuse is what is causing them the greatest harm.
”
”
Lundy Bancroft (Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men)
“
Don't look now, but that's my ex over there."
Surely I'm not the only one who takes "don't look now" as "there's no better time than now." I looked.
"Bad, Ali!" Another slap to my arm. "Bad, bad, bad Ali! Have you no self control?
”
”
Gena Showalter (Alice in Zombieland (White Rabbit Chronicles, #1))
“
When you say gorgeous,” Jen started, “are we talking Brad Pitt boyish good looks, or Johnny Depp make ya want to slap somebody?” “No, we’re talking Brad and Johnny need to bow down and recognize” Jacque answered.
”
”
Quinn Loftis (Prince of Wolves (The Grey Wolves, #1))
“
I would love to slap you right now, but I’m currently wielding a nine pound ball and I’m afraid that would be called murder.
”
”
Sara Wolf (Lovely Vicious (Lovely Vicious, #1))
“
Woman, you bray like an ass, and make no more sense."
"Woman? Is that meant to insult me? I would return the slap, if I took you for a man.
”
”
George R.R. Martin (A Storm of Swords (A Song of Ice and Fire, #3))
“
His arms went round my waist. He had a big grin, full of teeth like stars. "You saying you're the jealous sort,Scar?"
"I'm saying that some girls slap, but I have knives.
”
”
A.C. Gaughen (Scarlet (Scarlet, #1))
“
If you catch me saying ‘I am a serious actor,’ I beg you to slap me.
”
”
Johnny Depp
“
Why don't I just pretend I'm on camera, Plutarch?" I say.
"Yes! Perfect. One is always much braver with an audience," he says. "Look at the courage Peeta just displayed!"
It's all I can do not to slap him.
”
”
Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
“
He jerked back. "What is this? Be like you were with me the other times! When you melted for me."
"That was before I fully understood what a nasty piece of work you are."
"Because of a few shifter beheadings? Come on, Lizvetta, it's not as if I went around cock-slapping gnomes."
Her jaw dropped.
”
”
Kresley Cole (Lothaire (Immortals After Dark, #11))
“
You’ve got a lot of responsibility now,” Jace said to Julian. “You’ll have to make sure Emma winds up with a guy who deserves her.”
Julian was strangely white-faced. Maybe he was feeling the effects of the ceremony, Emma thought. It had been strong magic; she still felt it sizzling through her blood like champagne bubbles. But Jules looked as if he’d been slapped.
“What about me?” Emma said, quickly. “Don’t I have to make sure Jules winds up with someone who deserves him?”
“Absolutely. I did it for Alec, Alec did it for me — well, actually, he hated Clary at first, but he came around.”
“I BET you didn’t like Magnus much, either,” said Julian, still with the same odd, stiff look on his face.
“Maybe not,” said Jace, “but I never would have said so.”
“Because it would have hurt Alec’s feelings?” Emma asked.
“No,” said Jace, “because Magnus would have turned me into a hat rack.
”
”
Cassandra Clare (Lady Midnight (The Dark Artifices, #1))
“
She gave him the wide, green-eyed expression that she would have described as I will slap you so far into next week that it will take a team of surgeons just to get Wednesday out of your ass.
”
”
Christopher Moore (You Suck (A Love Story, #2))
“
Saiman picked up a coffee mug, stared at it, and hurled it against the wall. It shattered into a dozen pieces. We looked at him.
“Your date appears to be hysterical,” Rene told me.
“You think I should slap some man into him?"
Saiman stared at me, speechless. I had to give it to Rene—she didn't laugh. But she really wanted to.
”
”
Ilona Andrews (Magic Strikes (Kate Daniels, #3))
“
What mattered is I was different. The naive girl in me had been bitch-slapped into womanhood. ~Livvie
”
”
C.J. Roberts (Seduced in the Dark (The Dark Duet, #2))
“
Now-what’s our game plan?”
Coach Hedge belched. He’d already had three espressos and a plate of doughnuts, along with two napkins and another flower from the vase on the table. He would’ve eaten the silverware, except Piper had slapped his hand.
“Climb the mountain,” Hedge said. “Kill everything except Piper’s dad. Leave.”
“Thank you General Eisenhower,” Jason grumbles.
”
”
Rick Riordan (The Lost Hero (The Heroes of Olympus, #1))
“
His fingers traced the curve of my shoulder softly, as his gaze fell. I gasped sharply. If he tried to kiss me, I'd slap the crap out of him. Bond or no bond.
”
”
Courtney Allison Moulton (Angelfire (Angelfire, #1))
“
Then his eyes focus on something over my shoulder, and he starts walking. I turn to see Uriah jogging from the elevator bank. He is grinning.
“Heard a rumor you were a dirty traitor,” Uriah says.
“Yeah, whatever,” says Zeke.
They collide in an embrace that looks almost painful to me, slapping each other’s backs and laughing with their fists clasped between them.
”
”
Veronica Roth (Insurgent (Divergent, #2))
“
She could not bear to look at him just now. If she did, she might well slap him again. Or cry. Or kiss him. And never know which was right and which was wrong and which was madness.
”
”
George R.R. Martin
“
Jennifer," Decebel growled.
"Decebel," Jen growled back, mimicking his tone.
"Sally," Sally added comically, mimicking them both. She slapped a hand over her mouth when Decebel turned and glared at her.
”
”
Quinn Loftis
“
Great,” I said. “Now get out.”
“It’s my coach.”
“The deal was only for kicking. It did not prohibit slapping, punching, biting or cutting you in half.
”
”
Leigh Bardugo (Siege and Storm (The Shadow and Bone Trilogy, #2))
“
Both destiny's kisses and its dope-slaps illustrate an individual person's basic personal powerlessness over the really meaningful events in his life: i.e. almost nothing important that ever happens to you happens because you engineer it. Destiny has no beeper; destiny always leans trenchcoated out of an alley with some sort of Psst that you usually can't even hear because you're in such a rush to or from something important you've tried to engineer.
”
”
David Foster Wallace
“
Some words hit you like a tree branch slapping you in the face. And some words rip into your flesh, leaving scars so deep, they never completely fade.
”
”
Corrine Jackson (If I Lie)
“
I think grief is like a really ugly couch. It never goes away. You can decorate around it; you can slap a doily on top of it; you can push it to the corner of the room—but eventually, you learn to live with it.
”
”
Jodi Picoult (Leaving Time)
“
We all have a limit. What we’re willing to put up with before we break. When I married your father, I knew exactly what my limit was. But slowly . . . with every incident . . . my limit was pushed a little more. And a little more. The first time your father hit me, he was immediately sorry. He swore it would never happen again. The second time he hit me, he was even more sorry. The third time it happened, it was more than a hit. It was a beating. And every single time, I took him back. But the fourth time, it was only a slap. And when that happened, I felt relieved. I remember thinking, ‘At least he didn’t beat me this time. This wasn’t so bad.
”
”
Colleen Hoover (It Ends with Us (It Ends with Us, #1))
“
Was true love when you wanted to slap someone and kiss him madly at the same time?
”
”
Nancy Werlin (Impossible (Impossible, #1))
“
I once again fought against the desire to bitch-slap a faerie
”
”
Maggie Stiefvater (Lament: The Faerie Queen's Deception (Books of Faerie, #1))
“
I told myself that it took forty-two facial muscles to frown and only four to stretch out my arm and bitch-slap the witch.
”
”
Kathy Lette (To Love, Honour and Betray (Till Divorce Us Do Part))
“
Maybe next time we just open the door and start out with some bitch slapping.
”
”
Janet Evanovich (Three to Get Deadly (Stephanie Plum, #3))
“
Your date appears to be hysterical," Rene told me.
"You think I should slap some man into him?
”
”
Ilona Andrews (Magic Strikes (Kate Daniels, #3))
“
I like her," Brad said, chuckling.
"For a Red Sox tee shirt wearing woman I guess she's okay," Jason grumbled.
"Does no one care that she just manhandled me?" Trevor demanded, facing the men who should be properly outraged on his behalf.
Jason snorted. "A s long as she brings me food she can bitch slap you and call you spanky."
Trevor narrowed his eyes on the men who dared laugh at his pain.
Betraying bastards.
”
”
R.L. Mathewson (Perfection (Neighbor from Hell, #2))
“
I'm tired of this. It's like, just when I think our goal is within reach, it slips right through our fingers. It's happened time and again. Now, when we finally in our grasp, the truth slaps us in the face.
”
”
Hiromu Arakawa (Fullmetal Alchemist, Vol. 3 (Fullmetal Alchemist, #3))
“
This isn't over. I won't give up on you."
"I've given up on you," he said back, voice also soft. "Love fades. Mine has."
I stared at him in disbelief. All this time, he'd never phrased it like that. His protests had always been about some greater good, about the remorse he felt over being a monster of how it had scarred him from love. I've given up on you. Love fades. Mine has.
I backed up, the sting of those words hitting me as hard as if he'd slapped me. Something shifted in his features, like maybe he knew how much he'd hurt me. I didn't stick around to see. Instead, I pushed my way out of the aisle and ran out the doors in the back, afraid that if I stayed any longer, everyone in the church would see me cry.
”
”
Richelle Mead (Spirit Bound (Vampire Academy, #5))
“
Why were you watching me change?" I explain. "Uh, 'cause I'm a guy?" He flips the pillow and slaps it, fluffing it. Then he rolls over and closes his eyes again.
”
”
Miranda Kenneally (Catching Jordan (Hundred Oaks, #1))
“
Snow in April is abominable," said Anne. "Like a slap in the face when you expected a kiss.
”
”
L.M. Montgomery (Anne of Ingleside (Anne of Green Gables, #6))
“
And you told me the biggest lie of all. You told me you loved me,” It was my turn to wince like he’d slapped me. “I don’t remember saying that” “You would if it had been true. You would feel something
”
”
Jennifer Echols (Forget You)
“
What's going on with you? Jared asked out of the blue.
Beginning a new era of journalistic history, Kami told him, sending her cheer through their connection. Also, to be perfectly honest, Angela and I were slapping our asses.
As one does.
”
”
Sarah Rees Brennan (Unspoken (The Lynburn Legacy, #1))
“
He should accept me as I am!” says the woman who is too nice.
Accept you? Oh no, sister. Slap yourself. He should want you
madly. Acceptance has nothing to do with it. He accepts a
doormat. But he desires his dreamgirl.
”
”
Sherry Argov (Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl―A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship)
“
Just slap anything on when you see a blank canvas staring you in the face like some imbecile. You don't know how paralyzing that is, that stare of a blank canvas is, which says to the painter, ‘You can't do a thing’. The canvas has an idiotic stare and mesmerizes some painters so much that they turn into idiots themselves. Many painters are afraid in front of the blank canvas, but the blank canvas is afraid of the real, passionate painter who dares and who has broken the spell of `you can't' once and for all.
”
”
Vincent van Gogh
“
At fifty times the distance, you dispatched that ko-bold with three arrows to the neck. I’ve earned a trio to the chest. Seems you slapped him while you’re tickling me. You doona want to kill me, which is a good sign. Maybe this is your way of flirting?
”
”
Kresley Cole (Pleasure of a Dark Prince (Immortals After Dark, #8))
“
The guys were totally skuzzy, grinning horribly, showing holes where teeth should be.
“Boys, God doesn’t like you,” Fang intoned behind them.
Whaaat? I thought, dumbfounded.
“Wha!” they said, whirling.
At that moment, Fang snapped out his huge wings and shone the penlight under his chin so it raked his cheekbones and eyes. My mouth dropped open. He looked like the angel of death.
His dark wings filled the hallway almost to the ceiling, and he moved them up and down. “God doesn’t like bad people,” he said, using a really weird, deep voice.
“What the heck?” one of the squatters murmured shallowly, his mouth slack, his eyes bugging out of his head.
I whipped my own wings open. Fun, anyway.
“This was a test,” I said, using my best spooky voice. “And guess what? You both failed.”
The bums stopped dead, looks of horror and amazement on their faces.
Then Fang growled, “Rowr!” He stepped forward, sweeping his wings up and down: the avenging demon. I almost cracked up.
“Rowr!” I said myself, shaking my wings out.
“Ahhhhh!” the guys yelled, backpedaling fast. Unfortunately, they were standing at the top of the staircase. They fell awkwardly, trying to grab each other, and rolled down two flights like lumpy bags of potatoes, shrieking the whole way.
Fang and I slapped each other a quick high five—and we were out of there, jack.
”
”
James Patterson (School's Out—Forever (Maximum Ride, #2))
“
Sometimes I just want to go in a room and break things and scream. Like, it’s so much pressure all the time and if you get upset or angry, people say, ‘Are you on the rag of something?’ And it’s like I want to say, ‘No. I’m just pissed off right now. Can’t I just be pissed off? How come that’s not okay for me?’ Like my dad will say, ‘I can’t talk to you when you’re hysterical.’ And I’m totally not being hysterical! I’m just mad. And he’s the one losing it. But then I feel embarrassed anyway. So I slap on that smile and pretend everything’s okay even though it’s not.
”
”
Libba Bray (Beauty Queens)
“
He pats his way around the the bed and slides back in. "Ow," he says.
"yes?"
"My belt. Would it be weird..."
I'm thankful he can't see me blush."Of course not." And I listen to the slap of leather, s he pulls it out of his belt loops. He lays it gently on my hardwood floor.
"Um," he says. "Would it be weird-"
"yes"
"Oh, piss off. I'm not talking trousers. I only want under the blankets. That breeze is horrible." He slides underneath, and now we're lying side-by-side. In my narrow bed. Funny, but I never never imagined my first sleepover with a guy being, well, a sleepover.
”
”
Stephanie Perkins (Anna and the French Kiss (Anna and the French Kiss, #1))
“
You forgot my birthday, too."
"And mine."
The girls looked miserable. The King opened his mouth, then shut it.
"Sir!" whined Lord Teddie. "You forgot my birthday, too!"
Bramble gave a surprised laugh, then slapped her hand over her mouth, as though shocked at letting it out. The tension broke. The girls laughed sheepishly, and Lord Teddie beamed. He probably did not have many ladies think him funny. In fact, he probably got slapped by a lot of them.
”
”
Heather Dixon Wallwork (Entwined)
“
At the rear of the bus, the driver wrenched a big chunk of smoking metal out of the engine compartment. The bus shuddered, and the engine roared back to life.
The passengers cheered.
Darn right!" yelled the driver. He slapped the bus with his hat. "Everybody get back on board!
”
”
Rick Riordan (The Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #1))
“
I haul around and slap him. It’s a stinging blow, smearing the gold on his cheekbone and causing his skin to redden. We stare at each other for long moments, breathing hard. His eyes are bright with something entirely different from anger. I am in over my head. I am drowning.
”
”
Holly Black (The Queen of Nothing (The Folk of the Air, #3))
“
You’re human. No one cares if you sleep with a whore. (Artemis)
(Tory did something she’d never in her life done before. She slapped another person.)
You ever insult Acheron again and so help me, I’ll do to you what you allowed your brother to do to him. I’ll cut your tongue out for it. Acheron is the man I love and no one, ever, takes issue with him without having issues with me. (Tory)
”
”
Sherrilyn Kenyon (Acheron (Dark-Hunter, #14))
“
What stops me from taking myself seriously, even though I am essentially a serious person, is that I find myself extremely ridiculous, not in the sense of the small-scale ridiculousness of slap-stick comedy, but rather in the sense of ridiculousness that seems intrinsic to human life and that manifests itself in the simplest actions and the most extraordinary gestures.
”
”
Gustave Flaubert
“
She was my mother. I couldn't threaten to slap, stab, beat or even name call her. I tried to think of something to scare her into never mentioning the predicament with the Dreamsnatcher again.
I'll become a swinger," I said. her eyes bugged. Uptight rearing made her uncomfortable with alternate lifestyles. "That's right. threesomes, foursomes, and more. bones knows about a thousand chicks who'd love to hop into bed with us. It'll be kinky, we'll get out freak on.-
”
”
Jeaniene Frost (Destined for an Early Grave (Night Huntress, #4))
“
Can we move this along?" a bored voice stated. "I have places to be and people to shag."
"Ian, I'm not going to hug you," I stated as I approached him. "I know you like this better."
With that, I slapped him hard enough to rock his head to the side. When he'd straightened, he flashed me a wicked grin.
"Finally, you give me what I want. Knew you loved me, Reaper.
”
”
Jeaniene Frost (Up from the Grave (Night Huntress, #7))
“
Now let's move on to the subject of how a real man treats his wife. A real man doesn't slap even a ten-dollar hooker around, if he's got any self respect, much less hurt his own woman. Much less ten times over the mother of his kids. A real man busts his ass to feed his family, fights for them if he has to, dies for them if he has to. And he treats his wife with respect every day of his life, treats her like a queen - the queen of the home she makes for their children.
”
”
S.M. Stirling (Dies the Fire (Emberverse, #1))
“
Sassenach, I've been stabbed, bitten, slapped, and whipped since supper - which I didna get to finish. I dinna like to scare children an I dinna like to flog men, and I've had to do both. I've two hundred English camped three miles away, and no idea what to do about them. I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I'm sore. If you've anything like womanly sympathy about ye, I could use a bit!
”
”
Diana Gabaldon (Dragonfly in Amber (Outlander, #2))
“
There are weak men; men who run and hide when life slaps them in the ass. Then there are men; men who have a backbone yet occasionally, when life slaps them in the ass, will rely on others. And then there are real men; men who don’t cry or complain, who don’t just have a backbone, they are the backbone. Men who make their own decisions and live with the consequences, who accept responsibility for their actions or words. Men who, when life slaps them in the ass, slap back and move on. Men who live hard and die even harder.
Men like my father and my uncles. Men I loved with all my heart.
Men like Deuce.
”
”
Madeline Sheehan (Undeniable (Undeniable, #1))
“
Jonah Griggs.
Not just a name but a state of mind I never want to revisit, although I do keep him at the back of my mind for those times I get me hopes raised about something. So then I can slap myself into reality and remind myself of what happens when you let someone into your sacred space. Jonah Griggs is my second reminder to never ever trust another human being. My mother was first.
”
”
Melina Marchetta (On the Jellicoe Road)
“
Madame Bellwings, Memoir Elf Coordinator, was not at all pleased with this request, because elves who write the memoirs of teenage girls have the habit of returning to the magical realm with atrocious grammar. They can't seem to shake the phrases "watever" and "no way," and they insert the word like into so many sentences that the other elves start slapping them...and for no apparent reason occasionally call out the name Edward Cullen.
”
”
Janette Rallison
“
Sevro." I lean forward. "Your eyes..."
He leans in close. "Do you like 'em?"
"Bloodydamn. Did you get Carved?"
"By the best in the business. Do you like 'em?"
"They're bloodydamn marvelous. Fit you like a glove."
He punches his hands together. "Glad you said that. Cuz they're yours."
I blanch. "What?"
"They're yours."
"My what?"
"Your eyes!"
"My eyes..."
"Do you want the eyes back?" Sevro asks, suddenly worried. "I can give them back."
"No!" I say. "It's just I forgot how crazy you are."
"Oh." He laughs and slaps my shoulder. "Good. I thought it might be something serious. So I'm prime keeping them?"
"Finders keepers," I say with a shrug.
”
”
Pierce Brown (Morning Star (Red Rising Saga, #3))
“
Then I realize from the hollow sound of her gun's click that her gun isn't loaded. Apparently she just wants to slap me around with it.
The Girl doesn't move her gun away. "How old are you?"
"Fifteen."
"That's better." The Girl lowers her gun a little. "Time for a few confessions.Were you responsible for the break-in at the Arcadia bank?"
The ten-second place. "Yes."
"Then you must be responsible for stealing sixteen thousand five hundred Notes from there as well."
"You got that right."
"Were you responsible for vandalizing the Department of Intra-Defense two years ago, and destroying the engines of two warfront airships?"
"Yes."
"Did you set fire to a series of ten F-472 fighter jets parked at the Burbank air force base right before they were to head out to the warfront?"
"I'm kinda proud of that one."
"Did assault a cadet standing guard at the edge of the Alta sector's quarantine zone?"
"I tied him up and delivered food to some quarantined families.Bite me.
”
”
Marie Lu (Legend (Legend, #1))
“
In a lightning-fast move, he placed both of his hands on the brick wall, caging me with his body. He leaned toward me and my heart shifted into a gear I didn't know existed. His warm breath caressed my neck, melting my frozen skin. I tilted my head, waiting for the solid warmth of his body on mine. I could see his eyes again and those dark orbs screamed hunger .
"I heard a rumor."
"What's that?" I struggled to get out.
"It's your birthday."
Terrified speaking would break the spell, I licked my suddenly dry lips and nodded.
"Happy birthday." Noah drew his lips closer to mine; that sweet musky smell overwhelmed my senses. I could almost taste his lips when he unexpectedly took a step back, inhaling deeply. The cold air slapped me into the land of sober.
”
”
Katie McGarry (Pushing the Limits (Pushing the Limits, #1))
“
If I was gay, I wouldn't need an asterisk beside my name. I could stop worrying if the girl I like will bounce when she finds out I also like dick. I could have a coming-out party without people thinking I just want attention. I wouldn't have to explain that I fall in love with minds, not genders or body parts. People wouldn't say I'm 'just a slut' or 'faking it' or 'undecided' or 'confused.' I'm not confused. I don't categorize people by who I'm allowed to like and who I'm allowed to love. Love doesn't fit into boxes like that. It's blurry, slippery, quantum. It's only limited by our perceptions and before we slap a label on it and cram it into some category, everything is possible.
”
”
Leah Raeder (Black Iris)
“
Life is truly a ride. We're all strapped in and no one can stop it. When the doctor slaps your behind, he's ripping your ticket and away you go. As you make each passage from youth to adulthood to maturity, sometimes you put your arms up and scream, sometimes you just hang on to that bar in front of you. But the ride is the thing. I think the most you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair's messed, you're out of breath, and you didn't throw up.
”
”
Jerry Seinfeld
“
I saw a picture of you and Vincent in a 1968 newspaper that said you died in a fire," I said, turning to Ambrose.
He nodded at me with a little smile, urging me on.
"So how can you be here now?"
"Well, I'm glad we're starting with the easy questions," he said, stretching his powerful arms and then leaning toward me. "The answer would be ... because we're zombies!" and he let out a horrible groan, stretching his mouth open and baring his teeth as he curled his hands into claws.
Seeing my terrified expression, Ambrose began cracking up and slapping his knee with his hand. "Just kidding," he cackled, and then, calming down, looked at me sedately. "But no, seriously. We're zombies."
"We are not zombies!" said Charlotte, her voice rising with annoyance.
”
”
Amy Plum (Die for Me (Revenants, #1))
“
Miki held up a tennis ball, looked at Sara’s new Pack, and tossed it out into the forest away from the ongoing rave. They all watched it go, then they turned back to Miki.
“Okay. Go…”
Sara and Angelina slapped their hands over their friend’s mouth before the word “fetch” could come out of it.
They pulled her over to one of the food tables.
“Are you out of your ever-loving mind?! Everyone here but us is like Sara.” Angelina snapped.
“And after seeing them in action I’d rather not fuck with them!”
Miki gave that innocent smile. “It was just a little experiment.
”
”
Shelly Laurenston (Go Fetch! (Magnus Pack, #2))
“
Don't be an asshole"
Rhage summed up the regurgitation with two words: "Kettle.Black."
Fucking hell. "Did you guys plan that out?"
"Yeah and if you don't fight us"- Hollywood bit down on the grape Tootsie Pop-"we'll do it again- only with the dance moves this time"
"Spare me."
"Fine.Unless you agree to home it,we WILL rock the dance moves." To prove the point ,the moron linked his palms behind his head and started doing something obscene with his hips. Which was backed up by a series of,"Uh-huh,uh-huh,ohhhh, yeeeeeeah,who's your daddy..."
The others looked at Rhage like he'd grown a horn in the middle of his forehead. Nothing unusual there. And Tohr knew that, in spite of this ridiculous diversion,if he didn't cave,the lot of them would crawl so far up his ass,he'd be coughing up shitkickers.
Rhage wheeled around,shoved out his butt,and started slapping his moneymaker like it was bread dough.
"For the love of the Virgin Scribe,"Z muttered "put us out of this misery, and go the fuck home"
Someone else chimed in, "You know, I never thought there were advantages to being blind..."
"Or deaf"
"Or mute," somebody added
”
”
J.R. Ward (Lover Reborn (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #10))
“
Stop. Vibrating." Ryodan plucks a paper out of the air and slaps it back down on his desk.
I wonder if he cleans it. How many tushes have been on that thing? I'm never touching it again. "Can't help it," I say around a mouthful of candy bar. I know what I look like: a smudge of black leather and hair. "It happens when I get really excited. The more excited I get, the more I vibrate."
"Now there's a thought," Lor says.
"If you mean what I think you mean, you want to shut the fuck up and never think it again," Ryodan says.
"Just saying, boss," Lor says. "You can't tell me you didn't think it, too.
”
”
Karen Marie Moning (Iced (Fever, #6))
“
You were dancing with Yuki and I looked at you. And you turned away and held her closer. Why did you do that? If you didn't want to hurt me, then why?"
He looked away, as though he'd been slapped, but he didn't look guilty. He looked pained. "I closed my eyes," he said, his voice so low and strangled she could hardly hear him.
"What?" she asked, not understanding.
"Tamani held up a hand and Laurel realized he hadn't finished-he was having trouble speaking at all. "I closed my eyes," he repeated after a few shallow breaths, "and imagined she was you."He looked at her, his face open, his eyes honest, his voice a song of anguish.
”
”
Aprilynne Pike (Illusions (Wings, #3))
“
I would argue that masturbation is the human animal's most important adaptation. The very cornerstone of our technological civilization. Our hands evolved to grip tools, all right—including our own. You see, thinkers, inventors, and scientists are usually geeks, and geeks have a harder time getting laid than anyone. Without the built-in sexual release valve provided by masturbation, it's doubtful that early humans would have ever mastered the secrets of fire or discovered the wheel. And you can bet that Galileo, Newton, and Einstein never would have made their discoveries if they hadn't first been able to clear their heads by slapping the salami (or "knocking a few protons off the old hydrogen atom"). The same goes for Marie Curie. Before she discovered radium, you can be certain she first discovered the little man in the canoe.
”
”
Ernest Cline (Ready Player One (Ready Player One, #1))
“
Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every human being who ever lived?”
“Or who will ever live, yes.”
“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”
“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.
“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.
“And you’re the millions he killed.”
“I’m Jesus?”
“And you’re everyone who followed him.”
You fell silent.
“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.
”
”
Andy Weir (The Egg)
“
Lawyers are alright, I guess — but it doesn't appeal to me", I said. "I mean they're alright if they go around saving innocent guys' lives all the time, and like that, but you don't do that kind of stuff if you're a lawyer. All you do is make a lot of dough and play golf and play bridge and buy cars and drink Martinis and look like a hot-shot. And besides, even if you did go around saving guys' lives and all, how would you know if you did it because you really wanted to save guys' lives, or because you did it because what you really wanted to do was be a terrific lawyer, with everybody slapping you on the back and congratulating you in court when the goddam trial was over, the reporters and everybody, the way it is in the dirty movies? How would you know you weren't being a phony? The trouble is you wouldn't.
”
”
J.D. Salinger (The Catcher in the Rye)
“
I can't - Kestrel, you must understand that I would never claim you. Calling you a prize - my prize - it was only words. But it worked. Cheat won't harm you, I swear that he won't, but you must...hide yourself a little. Help a little. Just tell us how much time we have before the battle. Give him a reason to decide you're not better off dead. Swallow your pride."
"Maybe it's not as easy for me as it is for you."
He wheeled on her. "It's not easy for me," "You know that it's not. What do you think I have had to swallow these past ten years? What do you think I have had to do to survive?"
"Truly," she said, "I haven't the faintest interest. You may tell your sad story to someone else."
He flinched as if slapped. His voice came low: "You can make people feel so small.
”
”
Marie Rutkoski (The Winner's Curse (The Winner's Trilogy, #1))
“
There’s power in the touch of another person’s hand. We acknowledge it in little ways, all the time. There’s a reason human beings shake hands, hold hands, slap hands, bump hands.
“It comes from our very earliest memories, when we all come into the world blinded by light and color, deafened by riotous sound, flailing in a suddenly cavernous space without any way of orienting ourselves, shuddering with cold, emptied with hunger, and justifiably frightened and confused. And what changes that first horror, that original state of terror?
“The touch of another person’s hands.
“Hands that wrap us in warmth, that hold us close. Hands that guide us to shelter, to comfort, to food. Hands that hold and touch and reassure us through our very first crisis, and guide us into our very first shelter from pain. The first thing we ever learn is that the touch of someone else’s hand can ease pain and make things better.
“That’s power. That’s power so fundamental that most people never even realize it exists.
”
”
Jim Butcher (Skin Game (The Dresden Files, #15))
“
Stop!” His voice rings out sharply, hard as a slap. He releases me and I stumble backward. “Alex is dead, do you hear me? All of that—what we felt, what it meant—that’s done now, okay? Buried. Blown away.”
“Alex!”
He has started to turn away; now he whirls around. The moon lights him stark white and furious, a camera image, two-dimensional, gripped by the flash. “I don’t love you, Lena. Do you hear me? I never loved you.”
The air goes. Everything goes. “I don’t believe you.” I’m crying so hard, I can hardly speak.
He takes one step toward me. And now I don’t recognize him at all. He has transformed entirely, turned into a stranger. “It was a lie. Okay? It was all a lie. Craziness, like they always said. Just forget about it. Forget it ever happened.
”
”
Lauren Oliver (Requiem (Delirium, #3))
“
I’m not asking you to live for me. Even though that would be nice because I’m in love with you. And yeah, yeah, you can tell me I’m misusing that word, but I don’t care. That’s how I feel. But this isn’t even about me, or how I feel about you. I want you to live for you because I know there’s so much more waiting for you. There’s so much more for you to discover and experience. And you deserve it, you might not think you do, but you do. I’m here to tell you that you deserve it. And I know I sound cheesy as hell. Believe me, six weeks ago, I would’ve slapped myself for saying shit like this, but knowing you... Knowing you has helped me see things differently. See myself differently. And all I want is for you to see yourself the way that I do.
”
”
Jasmine Warga (My Heart and Other Black Holes)
“
Slow Dance:
Have you ever watched kids, On a merry-go-round? Or listened to the rain, Slapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight? Or gazed at the sun into the fading night? You better slow down. Don't dance too fast. Time is short. The music won't last. Do you run through each day, On the fly? When you ask: How are you? Do you hear the reply? When the day is done, do you lie in your bed, With the next hundred chores, Running through your head? You'd better slow down, Don't dance too fast. Time is short, The music won't last. Ever told your child we'll do it tomorrow? And in your haste, Not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch, Let a good friendship die, Cause you never had time, To call and say Hi? You'd better slow down. Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last. When you run so fast to get somewhere, You miss half the fun of getting there. When you worry and hurry through your day, It is like an unopened gift thrown away. Life is not a race. Do take it slower. Hear the music, Before the song is over.
”
”
Timothy Ferriss (The 4-Hour Workweek)
“
It’s been a long time since I’ve loved someone, but I know what it feels like. When you turn from me, it hurts. When you think badly of me, I think badly of myself. When you do stupid, suicidal things, I want to slap you upside the head and demand to know how you can be so brilliant and so blind at the same time.” Tybalt’s expression was calm. “If that’s not love, what is it?”
“Why are you telling me this?” I whispered.
“Because we’re probably going to die today.” He waved his free hand toward the street. “I’ve always tried not to lie to you; I’ve seen how you react when others do. Dying without telling you how I felt would be lying. I’ve been patient. I’ve given you time to recognize my feelings, and I’ve seen you choose a man who loved the girl you were, not the woman you are. Now he’s gone, and I can’t be patient anymore. I love you, October. I’ll be sorry if we die here, but I won’t be sorry I helped you… and I won’t be sorry I finally told you.”
“Tybalt…”
“Cats never regret anything,” he said, and he turned and kissed me.
”
”
Seanan McGuire (Ashes of Honor (October Daye, #6))
“
Today," she told it, "death comes to all your circuits. Will it be slow and systematic or fast and brutal?" Considering, she circled it, "Tough decision. I've waited so long for this moment. Dreamed of it."
Showing her teeth, she began to roll up her sleeves.
"What," Roarke asked from the doorway that connected their work areas, "is that?"
"The former bane of my existence. The Antichrist of technology. Do we have a hammer?"
Studying the pile on the floor, he walked in. "Several, I imagine, of various types."
"I want all of them. Tiny little hammers, big, wallbangers, and everything in between."
"Might one ask why?"
"I'm going to beat this thing apart, byte by byte, until there's nothing left but dust from the last trembling chip."
"Hmmm." Roarke crouched down, examined the pitifully out-of-date system. "When did you haul this mess in here?"
"Just now. I had it in the car. Maybe I should use acid, just stand here and watch it hiss and dissolve. That could be good."
Saying nothing, Roarke took a small case out of his pocket, opened it, and chose a slim tool. With a few deft moves, he had the housing open.
"Hey! Hey! What're you doing?"
"I haven't seen anything like this in a decade. Fascinating. Look at this corrosion. Christ, this is a SOC chip system. And it's cross-wired."
When he began to fiddle, she rushed over and slapped at his hands. "Mine. I get to kill it."
"Get a grip on yourself," he said absently and delved deeper into the guts. "I'll take this into research."
"No. Uh-uh. I have to bust it apart. What if it breeds?
”
”
J.D. Robb (Witness in Death (In Death, #10))
“
He squeezed my shoulder and smiled at me.
I realized that I hadn't kissed him hello, I always kissed him hello. Of course, I was still covered in blood and other bodily fluids, and none of them were his, but he might not understand that that was why I hadn't wanted to get too close. Some of my confusion must have shown on my face, because his smile widened. He turned me around by the shoulders, gave me a little push towards the bathroom, and slapped me on the ass. "Get cleaned up, I'll take care of things here."
"I can't believe that you just did that," I said.
"Did what?" he said, and he was grinning at me.
I could probably count on one hand the number of times Micah had grinned at me. His eyes were sparkling with laughter as if it were all he could do not to let it out. I was happy to see him having a good time, really I was. But I wasn't sure what was funny, and I didn't have the courage to ask. It was probably something that would be at my expense, or something I'd just done that he found cute. I was not cute. Confused, fucked-up, bruised, but not cute. Nathaniel and Damian knew better, but as I passed Gregory, I had to say, "If you touch my ass, I will rip you a new one." I said it as I moved past him, not even pausing.
"You're no fun," he growled.
I looked back just before I turned out of sight of him. "Oh, I'm a lot of fun, just not around you."
He snarled at me. "Bitch."
"Woof, woof," I said, and finally made it into the bathroom.
”
”
Laurell K. Hamilton (Incubus Dreams (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, #12))
“
We are the centuries... We have your eoliths and your mesoliths and your neoliths. We have your Babylons and your Pompeiis, your Caesars and your chromium-plated (vital-ingredient impregnated) artifacts. We have your bloody hatchets and your Hiroshimas. We march in spite of Hell, we do – Atrophy, Entropy, and Proteus vulgaris, telling bawdy jokes about a farm girl name of Eve and a traveling salesman called Lucifer. We bury your dead and their reputations. We bury you. We are the centuries. Be born then, gasp wind, screech at the surgeon’s slap, seek manhood, taste a little godhood, feel pain, give birth, struggle a little while, succumb: (Dying, leave quietly by the rear exit, please.) Generation, regeneration, again, again, as in a ritual, with blood-stained vestments and nail-torn hands, children of Merlin, chasing a gleam. Children, too, of Eve, forever building Edens – and kicking them apart in berserk fury because somehow it isn’t the same. (AGH! AGH! AGH! – an idiot screams his mindless anguish amid the rubble. But quickly! let it be inundated by the choir, chanting Alleluias at ninety decibels.)
”
”
Walter M. Miller Jr. (A Canticle for Leibowitz (St. Leibowitz, #1))
“
Bramble's lips were tight. Her fists still shook.
"Take it back," she said. She gazed at the floor, but the words whipped. "We don't want the picture. We don't want your charity. Take it back!"
Teddie drew himself up to his full, towering taffy height.
"N-dash it-O!" he said. "It's not charity and I won't take it back! It's a gift! A gift, dash it all! Because I liked your mum! And I like your sisters! And you, Bramble! I love you!"
The words echoed. Everyone's hands clasped over their mouths, and they stared at Lord Teddie, who panted but kept a tight chin up. Bramble's lips were still pursed. They were white.
"Young man," said the King gently. "Your ship leaves soon?"
Azalea guessed that, with the fiasco of everything, the King had annulled any arrangements between Bramble and Lord Teddie. Lord Teddie's entire taffylike form slumped. He turned to go, all bounciness dissolved.
"Do you mean it?"
Lord Teddie turned quickly. Bramble's lips remained tight, but her gaze was up, blazing yellow.
"Gad, yes," said Lord Teddie. "I love you so much, my fingers hurt!"
"Oh!" Bramble slapped he hand over her mouth and doubled over. "Oh-oh-oh-oh!" She shook. It was hard to tell if she was crying, or coughing, or ill. "Oh!"
In a billow of skirts, Bramble leaped. It was a grand jete worthy of the Delchastrian prima ballerina. She landed right on Lord Teddie, who had no choice but to catch her, and threw her arms around his neck. Then, to everyone's shock, she pressed her lips full on his.
"Oh...my," said Clover.
No one seemed more surprised than Lord Teddie who stumbled back under Bramble's assault.
”
”
Heather Dixon Wallwork (Entwined)
“
She said, “Do you see how I’m wearing this apron? It means I’m working. For a living.”
The unconcerned expression didn’t flag. He said, “I’ll take care of it.”
She echoed, “Take care of it?”
“Yeah. How much do you make in an hour? I’ll take care of it. And I’ll talk to your manager.”
For a moment, Blue was actually lost for words. She had never believed people who claimed to be speechless, but she was. She opened her mouth, and at first, all that came out was air. Then something like the beginning of a laugh. Then finally, she managed to sputter, “I am not a prostitute.”
The Aglionby boy appeared puzzled for a long moment, and then realization dawned. “Oh, that was not how I meant it. That is not what I said.”
“That is what you said! You think you can just pay me to talk to your friend? Clearly you pay most of your female companions by the hour and don’t know how it works with the real world, but . . . but . . .” Blue remembered that she was working to a point, but now what that point was. Indignation had eliminated all higher functions and all that remained was the desire to slap him. The boy opened his mouth to protest, and her thought came back to her all in a rush. “Most girls, when they’re interested in a guy, will sit with them for free.”
To his credit, the Aglionby boy didn’t speak right away. Instead, he thought for a moment and then he said, without heat, “You said you were working for living. I thought it’d be rude to not take that into account. I’m sorry you’re insulted. I see where you’re coming from, but I feel it’s a little unair that you’re not doing the same for me.”
“I feel you’re being condescending,” Blue said.
In the background, she caught a glimpse of Soldier Boy making a plane of his hand. It was crashing and weaving toward the table surface while Smudgy Boy gulped laughter down. The elegant boy held his palm over his face in exaggerated horror, fingers spread just enough that she could see him wince.
“Dear God,” remarked Cell Phone boy. “I don’t know what else to say.”
“Sorry,” she recommended.
“I said that already.”
Blue considered. “Then ‘bye.’”
He made a little gesture at his chest that she thought was supposed to mean he was curtsying or bowing or something sarcastically gentleman-like.
”
”
Maggie Stiefvater (The Raven Boys (The Raven Cycle, #1))