Shea Serrano Quotes

[Macklemore]'s always nervous about messing up, like how a guy who's caught the attention of a girl who's too pretty for him behaves.

I wish there was a way that 1988 Ice Cube could be introduced to 2014 Ice Cube. He would be as astounded as a motherfucker.

(For sale: basketball shoes, once worn.)

I trust Steph Curry to destroy everyone on a basketball court. Off the court, I trust him to destroy a cashmere turtleneck or a suede long coat and that’s about it.

I want to marry his smile, and if his smile is already married to someone else, then I want to marry his eyebrows and eyes. They're remarkable. Nobody's ever made better use of his or her eyes or eyebrows as a rapper than Kurtis Blow.

DMX Death Threats Gun Death: 35, Generic Threat: 20, Beat Up to Death: 6, Non-Gun Weapon: 5, Robbery Death: 2, Death by Truth: 1 “Niggas wanna lie/Then niggas wonder why/Niggas wanna die” There are 69 death threats on DMX’s It’s Dark and Hell Is Hot

A fast note about Ice-T's autobiography: There's a section where he tells a story about hanging out with Flavor Flav that involves going to Red Lobster in a Ferrari. I suspect the phrase "going to Red Lobster in a Ferrari" is the most accurate description of Flavor Flav anyone will ever come up with.

Why the name change, Mr. Hard?’ the country clerk asked as he prepared to stamp the eight-year-old John’s paperwork official. ‘It’s just two little letters,’ the clerk said with a smile. ‘And where are your parents, anyway?’ John took the toothpick he was chewing out of his mouth. ‘Just stamp the fucking paper,’ he said, then he flicked the toothpick at the clerk. John Harder was born.

Rule NO 3 [of the Fictional Basketball Player Draft]: Rick Fox isn't allowed to participate in any capacity. There's no real reason for this rule other than pettiness. In all actuality, his character from "OZ", a superstar-NBA-player-turned-felon named Jackson Vahue, would've probably gone very high in the draft. It's just that I don't like Rick Fox, is all. So he ain't invited.

So in a six-minute stretch we see display fearlessness, tenacity, intelligence, savvy, a firm allegiance to team, assertiveness, toughness, and a willingness to obliterate a man in front of the woman that man's supposed to marry. Jim Halpert [The Office] is a winner.

I suppose you could have learned to kick game from “Bonita Applebum”—meager, mealymouthed, soothing “Bonita Applebum” for your meager, mealymouthed, soothing game. Good luck, guy. I’ll take “Around the Way Girl” any day, and twice on days my hair looks good.

It was a full-time job that paid like a part-time job.

then they couldn’t gather a rebound after a miss → then Alonzo Mourning slit their throats. It was rough.5 It doesn’t rate as painful or regretful as some of the other ones because there’s not one specific person we can pin it on and also

My favorite thing is to imagine Elle meeting up with some of her friends a few weeks after her fight with Beatrix and someone asking her what happened to her one good eye and Elle saying that it was yanked out and then one of her friends being like, “Again?!

Because what I've grown to learn over the past twelve or so years of being married is that both people in the marriage often experience the same thing in very different ways.

I'd somehow missed her, which does not seem possible, given that she has the gravity of the sun.