β
Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently.
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Maya Angelou
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I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.
(Popular misquote of "You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.")
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Maya Angelou (Letter to My Daughter)
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You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.
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Marcus Aurelius (Meditations)
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Don't be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.
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Jalal ad-Din Muhammad ar-Rumi (The Essential Rumi)
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You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
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Sharon Salzberg
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Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.
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Harvey Fierstein
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Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.
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Anne Frank
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Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.
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Marilyn Monroe
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.
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Maya Angelou
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The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it.
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Jordan Belfort
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It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson (The Complete Prose Works Of Ralph Waldo Emerson)
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I have been and still am a seeker, but I have ceased to question stars and books; I have begun to listen to the teaching my blood whispers to me.
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β
Hermann Hesse (Demian)
β
Don't let the expectations and opinions of other people affect your decisions. It's your life, not theirs. Do what matters most to you; do what makes you feel alive and happy. Don't let the expectations and ideas of others limit who you are. If you let others tell you who you are, you are living their reality β not yours. There is more to life than pleasing people. There is much more to life than following others' prescribed path. There is so much more to life than what you experience right now. You need to decide who you are for yourself. Become a whole being. Adventure.
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Roy T. Bennett
β
When someone tells me "no," it doesn't mean I can't do it, it simply means I can't do it with them.
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β
Karen E. Quinones Miller
β
You may tell a tale that takes up residence in someone's soul, becomes their blood and self and purpose. That tale will move them and drive them and who knows that they might do because of it, because of your words. That is your role, your gift.
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Erin Morgenstern (The Night Circus)
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The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.
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β
Michel de Montaigne (The Complete Essays)
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The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I'm not going to let myself pull me down anymore.
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C. JoyBell C.
β
Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are
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β
Kurt Cobain
β
We can't be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don't have something better.
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β
C. JoyBell C.
β
Make the most of yourself....for that is all there is of you.
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β
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Believe you can and you're halfway there.
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Theodore Roosevelt
β
Strong people have a strong sense of self-worth and self-awareness; they donβt need the approval of others.
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β
Roy T. Bennett (The Light in the Heart)
β
Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn't have the time to sit around and talk about you. What's important to me is not others' opinions of me, but what's important to me is my opinion of myself.
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β
C. JoyBell C.
β
Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.
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β
William Faulkner
β
Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.
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β
Albert Einstein
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Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
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β
John Wooden
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One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.
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Friedrich Nietzsche
β
We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.
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β
Steve Maraboli (Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience)
β
You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
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β
Sharon Salzberg
β
Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.
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β
Shannon L. Alder
β
Don't think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It's self-conscious and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can't "try" to do things. You simply "must" do things.
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β
Ray Bradbury
β
I think that we are like stars. Something happens to burst us open; but when we burst open and think we are dying; weβre actually turning into a supernova. And then when we look at ourselves again, we see that weβre suddenly more beautiful than we ever were before!
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β
C. JoyBell C.
β
Never dull your shine for somebody else.
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β
Tyra Banks
β
Dare to love yourself
as if you were a rainbow
with gold at both ends.
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β
Aberjhani (Journey through the Power of the Rainbow: Quotations from a Life Made Out of Poetry)
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No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you've come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.
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β
Madonna
β
Oh the places you'll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all.
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Dr. Seuss (Oh, The Places Youβll Go!)
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The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don't let them put you in that position.
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β
Leo F. Buscaglia
β
It's not what you say out of your mouth that determines your life, it's what you whisper to yourself that has the most power!
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Robert T. Kiyosaki
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Don't think about making life better for other people who don't even deserve you, rather, focus on making your life the best, for yourself and those who love you.
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β
C. JoyBell C.
β
It does not matter how long you are spending on the earth, how much money you have gathered or how much attention you have received. It is the amount of positive vibration you have radiated in life that matters,
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Amit Ray (Meditation: Insights and Inspirations)
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Live the Life of Your Dreams
When you start living the life of your dreams, there will always be obstacles, doubters, mistakes and setbacks along the way. But with hard work, perseverance and self-belief there is no limit to what you can achieve.
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Roy T. Bennett (The Light in the Heart)
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Donβt let others tell you what you canβt do. Don't let the limitations of others limit your vision. If you can remove your self-doubt and believe in yourself, you can achieve what you never thought possible.
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Roy T. Bennett (The Light in the Heart)
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You save yourself or you remain unsaved.
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Alice Sebold
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What you have to decide... is how you want your life to be. If your forever was ending tomorrow, would this be how you'd want to have spent it? Listen, the truth is, nothing is guaranteed. You know that more than anybody. So dont be afraid. Be alive.
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Sarah Dessen (The Truth About Forever)
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I do not believe in taking the right decision, I take a decision and make it right.
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Muhammad Ali Jinnah
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Never respond to an angry person with a fiery comeback, even if he deserves it...Don't allow his anger to become your anger.
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Bohdi Sanders (Warrior Wisdom: Ageless Wisdom for the Modern Warrior)
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If you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be.
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β
Joseph Campbell
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Even if things don't unfold the way you expected, don't be disheartened or give up. One who continues to advance will win in the end.
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Daisaku Ikeda
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When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.
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Napoleon Hill (Think and Grow Rich)
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You are the only you God made... God made you and broke the mold.
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Max Lucado (Cure for the Common Life: Living in Your Sweet Spot)
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Donβt worry if people think youβre crazy. You are crazy. You have that kind of intoxicating insanity that lets other people dream outside of the lines and become who theyβre destined to be.
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Jennifer Elisabeth (Born Ready: Unleash Your Inner Dream Girl)
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Envy is ignorance,
Imitation is Suicide.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson (Self-Reliance)
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The best relationships in our lives are the best not because they have been the happiest ones, they are that way because they have stayed strong through the most tormentful of storms.
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Pandora Poikilos (Excuse Me, My Brains Have Stepped Out)
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What would you do if you weren't afraid?
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Sheryl Sandberg (Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead)
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Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
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β
Eleanor Roosevelt
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I am my own biggest critic. Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself. But for the rest of my life, I am going to be with me and I don't want to spend my life with someone who is always critical. So I am going to stop being my own critic. It's high time that I accept all the great things about me.
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C. JoyBell C.
β
Done is better than perfect.
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Sheryl Sandberg (Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead)
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Self-respect is the root of discipline: The sense of dignity grows
with the ability to say no to oneself.
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Abraham Joshua Heschel
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A creative life cannot be sustained by approval any more than it can be destroyed by criticism.
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Will Self
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Do your own thing on your own terms and get what you came here for
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Oliver James
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Love is the Answer, God is the Cure!
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Aimee Cabo Nikolov (Love is the Answer God is the Cure)
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I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime.
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β
Antoine de Saint-ExupΓ©ry
β
Bottom line is, even if you see 'em coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.
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β
Joss Whedon
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If you don't know who you truly are, you'll never know what you really want.
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β
Roy T. Bennett
β
I don't fit into any stereotypes. And I like myself that way.
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C. JoyBell C.
β
You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don't know it, all of that doesn't even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It's not like you have forever, so don't waste any of your seconds, don't throw even one of your moments away.
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C. JoyBell C.
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You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it courageously.
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β
Steve Maraboli (Life, the Truth, and Being Free)
β
A fight is going on inside me," said an old man to his son. "It is a terrible fight between two wolves. One wolf is evil. He is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other wolf is good. he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you."
The son thought about it for a minute and then asked, "Which wolf will win?"
The old man replied simply, "The one you feed.
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Wendy Mass (Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life)
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How would your life be different ifβ¦You stopped allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions? Let today be the dayβ¦You stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others.
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Steve Maraboli (Life, the Truth, and Being Free)
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A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self.
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Charles Dickens (A Tale of Two Cities)
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Your time is way too valuable to be wasting on people that can't accept who you are.
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Turcois Ominek
β
He not busy being born is busy dying.
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Bob Dylan
β
Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. Your really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.
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Lucille Ball
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Be yourself; no base imitator of another, but your best self. There is something which you can do better than another. Listen to the inward voice and bravely obey that. Do the things at which you are great, not what you were never made for.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson (Self-Reliance and Other Essays (Dover Thrift Editions: Philosophy))
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Life is essentially an endless series of problems. The solution to one problem is merely the creation of another.
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Mark Manson (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life)
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I cannot compromise my respect for your love. You can keep your love, I will keep my respect.
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Amit Kalantri (Wealth of Words)
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I want to be the best version of myself for anyone who is going to someday walk into my life and need someone to love them beyond reason.
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Jennifer Elisabeth (Born Ready: Unleash Your Inner Dream Girl)
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We're so self-important. So arrogant. Everybody's going to save something now. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. And the supreme arrogance? Save the planet! Are these people kidding? Save the planet? We don't even know how to take care of ourselves; we haven't learned how to care for one another. We're gonna save the fuckin' planet? . . . And, by the way, there's nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. The planet is fine. The people are fucked! Compared with the people, the planet is doin' great. It's been here over four billion years . . . The planet isn't goin' anywhere, folks. We are! We're goin' away. Pack your shit, we're goin' away. And we won't leave much of a trace. Thank God for that. Nothing left. Maybe a little Styrofoam. The planet will be here, and we'll be gone. Another failed mutation; another closed-end biological mistake.
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George Carlin
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Don't blow off another's candle for it won't make yours shine brighter.
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Jaachynma N.E. Agu (The Prince and the Pauper)
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I am who I am; no more, no less.
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Terry Goodkind (Wizard's First Rule (Sword of Truth, #1))
β
it is impossible to build one's own happiness on the unhappiness of others. This perspective is at the heart of Buddhist teachings.
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Daisaku Ikeda
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Anyone who knows me, should learn to know me again;
For I am like the Moon,
you will see me with new face everyday.
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Jalal ad-Din Muhammad ar-Rumi
β
Falling in love is very real, but I used to shake my head when people talked about soul mates, poor deluded individuals grasping at some supernatural ideal not intended for mortals but sounded pretty in a poetry book. Then, we met, and everything changed, the cynic has become the converted, the sceptic, an ardent zealot.
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E.A. Bucchianeri (Brushstrokes of a Gadfly (Gadfly Saga, #1))
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Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledgeβ¦ is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in anotherβs world. It requires profound purpose larger than the self kind of understanding.
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Bill Bullard
β
To call woman the weaker sex is a libel; it is man's injustice to woman. If by strength is meant brute strength, then, indeed, is woman less brute than man. If by strength is meant moral power, then woman is immeasurably man's superior. Has she not greater intuition, is she not more self-sacrificing, has she not greater powers of endurance, has she not greater courage? Without her, man could not be. If nonviolence is the law of our being, the future is with woman. Who can make a more effective appeal to the heart than woman?"
[To the Women of India (Young India, Oct. 4, 1930)]
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Mahatma Gandhi
β
The decisions I made after that moment were not the ones she would have made. They were the choices of a changed person, a new self.
You could call this selfhood many things. Transformation. Metamorphosis. Falsity. Betrayal.
I call it an education
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β
Tara Westover (Educated)
β
Itβs dark because you are trying too hard.
Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly.
Yes, feel lightly even though youβre feeling deeply.
Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.
I was so preposterously serious in those days, such a humorless little prig.
Lightly, lightly β itβs the best advice ever given me.
When it comes to dying even. Nothing ponderous, or portentous, or emphatic.
No rhetoric, no tremolos,
no self conscious persona putting on its celebrated imitation of Christ or Little Nell.
And of course, no theology, no metaphysics.
Just the fact of dying and the fact of the clear light.
So throw away your baggage and go forward.
There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet,
trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair.
Thatβs why you must walk so lightly.
Lightly my darling,
on tiptoes and no luggage,
not even a sponge bag,
completely unencumbered.
β
β
Aldous Huxley (Island)
β
Always believe in yourself and always stretch yourself beyond your limits. Your life is worth a lot more than you think because you are capable of accomplishing more than you know. You have more potential than you think, but you will never know your full potential unless you keep challenging yourself and pushing beyond your own self imposed limits.
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β
Roy T. Bennett (The Light in the Heart)
β
The person in life that you will always be with the most, is yourself. Because even when you are with others, you are still with yourself, too! When you wake up in the morning, you are with yourself, laying in bed at night you are with yourself, walking down the street in the sunlight you are with yourself.What kind of person do you want to walk down the street with? What kind of person do you want to wake up in the morning with? What kind of person do you want to see at the end of the day before you fall asleep? Because that person is yourself, and it's your responsibility to be that person you want to be with. I know I want to spend my life with a person who knows how to let things go, who's not full of hate, who's able to smile and be carefree. So that's who I have to be.
β
β
C. JoyBell C.
β
If you live in a past dream, you don't enjoy what is happening right now because you will always wish it to be different than it is. There is no time to miss anyone or anything because you are alive. Not enjoying what is happening right now is living in the past and being only half alive. This leads to self pity, suffering and tears.
β
β
Miguel Ruiz (The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom)
β
To those human beings who are of any concern to me I wish suffering, desolation, sickness, ill-treatment, indignitiesβI wish that they should not remain unfamiliar with profound self-contempt, the torture of self-mistrust, the wretchedness of the vanquished: I have no pity for them, because I wish them the only thing that can prove today whether one is worth anything or notβthat one endures.
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β
Friedrich Nietzsche (The Will to Power)
β
Get Off The Scale!
You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.
Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.
Itβs true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. Thatβs it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Donβt give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!
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β
Steve Maraboli (Life, the Truth, and Being Free)
β
I was suffering the easily foreseeable consequences. Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never dared to admit you wanted-an emotional speedball, perhaps, of thunderous love and roiling excitement. Soon you start craving that intense attention, with a hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is witheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy, and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but now refuses to pony up the good stuff anymore-- despite the fact that you know he has it hidden somewhere, goddamn it, because he used to give it to you for free). Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbors just to have 'that thing' even one more time. Meanwhile, the object of your adoration has now become repulsed by you. He looks at you like you're someone he's never met before, much less someone he once loved with high passion. The irony is,you can hardly blame him. I mean, check yourself out. You're a pathetic mess,unrecognizable even to your own eyes. So that's it. You have now reached infatuation's final destination-- the complete and merciless devaluation of self." - pg 20-21
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β
Elizabeth Gilbert
β
We travel, initially, to lose ourselves; and we travel, next to find ourselves. We travel to open our hearts and eyes and learn more about the world than our newspapers will accommodate. We travel to bring what little we can, in our ignorance and knowledge, to those parts of the globe whose riches are differently dispersed. And we travel, in essence, to become young fools again- to slow time down and get taken in, and fall in love once more.
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β
Pico Iyer
β
There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried.
β
β
Ralph Waldo Emerson (Self Reliance)
β
There is no need to search; achievement leads to nowhere. It makes no difference at all, so just be happy now! Love is the only reality of the world, because it is all One, you see. And the only laws are paradox, humor and change. There is no problem, never was, and never will be. Release your struggle, let go of your mind, throw away your concerns, and relax into the world. No need to resist life, just do your best. Open your eyes and see that you are far more than you imagine. You are the world, you are the universe; you are yourself and everyone else, too! It's all the marvelous Play of God. Wake up, regain your humor. Don't worry, just be happy. You are already free!
β
β
Dan Millman (Way of the Peaceful Warrior: A Book That Changes Lives)
β
When I was little and running on the race track at school, I always stopped and waited for all the other kids so we could run together even though I knew (and everybody else knew) that I could run much faster than all of them! I pretended to read slowly so I could "wait" for everyone else who couldn't read as fast as I could! When my friends were short I pretended that I was short too and if my friend was sad I pretended to be unhappy. I could go on and on about all the ways I have limited myself, my whole life, by "waiting" for people. And the only thing that I've ever received in return is people thinking that they are faster than me, people thinking that they can make me feel bad about myself just because I let them and people thinking that I have to do whatever they say I should do. My mother used to teach me "Cinderella is a perfect example to be" but I have learned that Cinderella can go fuck herself, I'm not waiting for anybody, anymore! I'm going to run as fast as I can, fly as high as I can, I am going to soar and if you want you can come with me! But I'm not waiting for you anymore.
β
β
C. JoyBell C.
β
I have realized; it is during the times I am far outside my element that I experience myself the most. That I see and feel who I really am, the most! I think that's what a comet is like, you see, a comet is born in the outer realms of the universe! But it's only when it ventures too close to our sun or to other stars that it releases the blazing "tail" behind it and shoots brazen through the heavens! And meteors become sucked into our atmosphere before they burst like firecrackers and realize that they're shooting stars! That's why I enjoy taking myself out of my own element, my own comfort zone, and hurling myself out into the unknown. Because it's during those scary moments, those unsure steps taken, that I am able to see that I'm like a comet hitting a new atmosphere: suddenly I illuminate magnificently and fire dusts begin to fall off of me! I discover a smile I didn't know I had, I uncover a feeling that I didn't know existed in me... I see myself. I'm a shooting star. A meteor shower. But I'm not going to die out. I guess I'm more like a comet then. I'm just going to keep on coming back.
β
β
C. JoyBell C.
β
Why Not You?
Today, many will awaken with a fresh sense of inspiration. Why not you?
Today, many will open their eyes to the beauty that surrounds them. Why not you?
Today, many will choose to leave the ghost of yesterday behind and seize the immeasurable power of today. Why not you?
Today, many will break through the barriers of the past by looking at the blessings of the present. Why not you?
Today, for many the burden of self doubt and insecurity will be lifted by the security and confidence of empowerment. Why not you?
Today, many will rise above their believed limitations and make contact with their powerful innate strength. Why not you?
Today, many will choose to live in such a manner that they will be a positive role model for their children. Why not you?
Today, many will choose to free themselves from the personal imprisonment of their bad habits. Why not you?
Today, many will choose to live free of conditions and rules governing their own happiness. Why not you?
Today, many will find abundance in simplicity. Why not you?
Today, many will be confronted by difficult moral choices and they will choose to do what is right instead of what is beneficial. Why not you?
Today, many will decide to no longer sit back with a victim mentality, but to take charge of their lives and make positive changes. Why not you?
Today, many will take the action necessary to make a difference. Why not you?
Today, many will make the commitment to be a better mother, father, son, daughter, student, teacher, worker, boss, brother, sister, & so much more. Why not you?
Today is a new day!
Many will seize this day.
Many will live it to the fullest.
Why not you?
β
β
Steve Maraboli (Life, the Truth, and Being Free)
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There is probably no better or more reliable measure of whether a woman has spent time in ugly duckling status at some point or all throughout her life than her inability to digest a sincere compliment. Although it could be a matter of modesty, or could be attributed to shyness- although too many serious wounds are carelessly written off as "nothing but shyness"- more often a compliment is stuttered around about because it sets up an automatic and unpleasant dialogue in the woman's mind.
If you say how lovely she is, or how beautiful her art is, or compliment anything else her soul took part in, inspired, or suffused, something in her mind says she is undeserving and you, the complimentor, are an idiot for thinking such a thing to begin with. Rather than understand that the beauty of her soul shines through when she is being herself, the woman changes the subject and effectively snatches nourishment away from the soul-self, which thrives on being acknowledged."
"I must admit, I sometimes find it useful in my practice to delineate the various typologies of personality as cats and hens and ducks and swans and so forth. If warranted, I might ask my client to assume for a moment that she is a swan who does not realzie it. Assume also for a moment that she has been brought up by or is currently surrounded by ducks.
There is nothing wrong with ducks, I assure them, or with swans. But ducks are ducks and swans are swans. Sometimes to make the point I have to move to other animal metaphors. I like to use mice. What if you were raised by the mice people? But what if you're, say, a swan. Swans and mice hate each other's food for the most part. They each think the other smells funny. They are not interested in spending time together, and if they did, one would be constantly harassing the other.
But what if you, being a swan, had to pretend you were a mouse? What if you had to pretend to be gray and furry and tiny? What you had no long snaky tail to carry in the air on tail-carrying day? What if wherever you went you tried to walk like a mouse, but you waddled instead? What if you tried to talk like a mouse, but insteade out came a honk every time? Wouldn't you be the most miserable creature in the world?
The answer is an inequivocal yes. So why, if this is all so and too true, do women keep trying to bend and fold themselves into shapes that are not theirs? I must say, from years of clinical observation of this problem, that most of the time it is not because of deep-seated masochism or a malignant dedication to self-destruction or anything of that nature. More often it is because the woman simply doesn't know any better. She is unmothered.
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Clarissa Pinkola EstΓ©s (Women Who Run With the Wolves)