Rodney Dangerfield Wife Quotes

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

I tell ya, my wife’s a lousy cook. After dinner, I don’t brush my teeth. I count them.

I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex. Last night, she called me from a motel.

I tell ya one thing, my wife keeps me in line. No matter how many guys are ahead of me.

I told my doctor, “I think my wife has VD.” He gave himself a shot of penicillin.

I asked my wife, “Last night, were you faking it?” She said, “No, I was really sleeping.

I tell ya, my wife is never nice. She won a trip to Las Vegas for two. She went twice.

My wife can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.

The day my wife and I got married—that was a beauty. I gave her the ring and she gave me the finger.