Ricky Gervais Quotes

Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right.

You won’t burn in hell. But be nice anyway.

I see Atheists are fighting and killing each other again, over who doesn't believe in any God the most. Oh, no..wait.. that never happens.

Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others. The same applies when you are stupid.

The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.

It’s a strange myth that atheists have nothing to live for. It’s the opposite. We have nothing to die for. We have everything to live for.

A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.

The existence of God is not subjective. He either exists or he doesn’t. It’s not a matter of opinion. You can have your own opinions. But you can’t have your own facts.

If you can't joke about the most horrendous things in the world, what's the point of jokes? What's the point in having humor? Humor is to get us over terrible things.

They keep saying that sea levels are rising an' all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science.

Mondays are fine. It's your life that sucks.

That’s the other thing I learned that day, that the truth, however shocking or uncomfortable, in the end leads to liberation and dignity.

Ignorance might be bliss for the ignorant, but for the rest of us it's a right fucking pain in the arse :)

You should bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. It doesn't matter what that is. It doesn't matter if it's a table or a film or gardening - everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say, "I did that.

Science seeks the truth. And it does not discriminate. For better or worse it finds things out. Science is humble. It knows what it knows and it knows what it doesn’t know. It bases its conclusions and beliefs on hard evidence -­- evidence that is constantly updated and upgraded. It doesn’t get offended when new facts come along. It embraces the body of knowledge. It doesn’t hold on to medieval practices because they are tradition.

Remember, if you don't sin, then Jesus died for nothing

My greatest hero is Nelson Mandela. What a man. Incarcerated for 25 years, he was released in 1990 and he hasn't reoffended. I think he's going straight, which shows you prison does work.

Never confuse your right to say what you believe with a right to never be disagreed with and ridiculed for saying what you believe.

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth . . . Then he said, "Let there be light." Which means he made the entire universe in the dark! How fucking good is that? He's brilliant.

Beliefs do not change facts. Facts, if one is rational, should change beliefs.

You do your own thing and you see if you survive.

Life is just a series of peaks and troughs. And you don't know whether you're in a trough until you're climbing out, or on a peak until you're coming down. And that's it you know, you never know what's round the corner. But it's all good. "If you want the rainbow, you've gotta put up with the rain." Do you know which "philosopher" said that? Dolly Parton. And people say she's just a big pair of tits.

It’s better to create something that others criticize than to create nothing and criticize others. Ricky Gervais

As an atheist, I see nothing “wrong” in believing in a God. I don’t think there is a God, but belief in him does no harm. If it helps you in any way, then that’s fine with me. It’s when belief starts infringing on other people’s rights when it worries me. I would never deny your right to believe in a God. I would just rather you didn’t kill people who believe in a different God, say. Or stone someone to death because your rulebook says their sexuality is immoral. It’s strange that anyone who believes that an all-powerful all-knowing, omniscient power responsible for everything that happens, would also want to judge and punish people for what they are.

Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.

… Science is constantly proved all the time. You see, if we take something like any fiction, any holy book… and destroyed it, in a thousand years’ time, that wouldn’t come back just as it was. Whereas if we took every science book, and every fact, and destroyed them all, in a thousand years they’d all be back, because all the same tests would [produce] the same result.

No one wants to see cool people doing brilliantly. I want to see the struggle. That's the fun bit.

It wouldn't happen... There hasn't been one publication by a monkey

I could eat a knob at night.

Your critics want you to be as unhappy, unfulfilled and unimportant as they are. Let your happiness eat them up from inside

You could easily spot any Religion of Peace. Its extremist members would be extremely peaceful.

If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.

Spirituality really lost its way when it became a stick to beat people with: ‘Do this or you’ll burn in hell.

The best thing about being dead is that you don't know about it. It's like being stupid - it's only painful for others.

If you try to please everyone you'll please no one.

Humanity Is A Plague. We’re A Disgusting, Narcissistic, Selfish Parasite, And The World Would Be A Better Place Without Us.

I love how people walk around with crucifixes, skullcaps, pointy hats, funny beards and then say 'you should keep your atheism to yourself.

Do unto others…’ is a good rule of thumb. I live by that. Forgiveness is probably the greatest virtue there is. But that’s exactly what it is - a virtue. Not just a Christian virtue. No one owns being good. I’m good. I just don’t believe I’ll be rewarded for it in heaven. My reward is here and now. It’s knowing that I try to do the right thing. That I lived a good life. And that’s where spirituality really lost its way. When it became a stick to beat people with. ‘Do this or you’ll burn in hell.’ You won’t burn in hell. But be nice anyway.

Relax. No one else knows what they’re doing either.

Saying atheism is a belief system is like saying not going skiing is a hobby.

Well, I think life is precious because you can’t watch it again. I mean you can believe in an after life if that makes you feel better but once you realize you’re not going to be around forever, I think that’s what makes life so magical.

You can't censor stupidity.

I’ve never been insulted by hateful Satanists for not believing in their devil. Only by loving Christians for not believing in their God.

We want to see a struggle. We want to see people falling over but getting themselves back up on their feet, and that's what's extraordinary- ordinary people and their struggle. There's nothing as interesting as real life out your window. You walk down the street for half an hour, I'll give you half an hour of drama.

Suggesting I hate people with religion because I hate religion is like suggesting I hate people with cancer because I hate cancer.

Telling someone with depression to pull themselves together is about as useful as telling someone with cancer to just stop having cancer

Being an atheist makes someone a clearer thinking, fairer person. They [atheists] are not doing things to be rewarded in heaven; they're doing things because they're right, because they live by a moral code.

Just because you're offended doesn't mean your right.

Basically, you deny one less God than I do. You don’t believe in 2,999 gods. And I don’t believe in just one more.

Animals are not here for us to do as we please with. We are not their superiors, we are their equals. We are their family. Be kind to them.

Same-sex marriage isn’t a gay privilege, it’s equal rights. Privilege would be something like gay people not paying taxes. Like churches don’t.

Next time someone tells me they believe in God, I’ll say ‘Oh which one? Zeus? Hades? Jupiter? Mars? Odin? Thor? Krishna? Vishnu? Ra?…’ If they say ‘Just God. I only believe in the one God,’ I’ll point out that they are nearly as atheistic as me. I don’t believe in 2,870 gods, and they don’t believe in 2,869.

It annoys me that the burden of proof is on us. It should be "You came up with the idea. Why do you believe it?" I could tell you I've got superpowers. But I can't go up to people saying "Prove I can't fly." They'd go: "What do you mean 'Prove you can't fly'? Prove you can!

Life is an amazing gift, but it’s only a gift if you’re able to enjoy it.

We’re All Screwed Up In One Way Or Another. It Sort Of Makes You Normal.

Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.

We are on a rock travelling around 1 of 100 billion stars. Our species is 1 of over half a billion that have ever existed. Our chances of being born are about 1 in 400 trillion. You're not special, but you are fucking lucky. Enjoy your amazing life. You'll never exist again.

I believe the greatest privilege in this world is to use your freedom of speech for those who have no voice.

I don't miss doing things with her. I miss doing nothing with her.

I'd rather be nowhere with her then somewhere without her.

If there is a God, why did he make me an atheist?

If all the Atheists & Agnostics left America, they'd lose 93% of The National Academy of Sciences & less than 1% of the prison population.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but if you believe in god, you're wrong.

Screw it. I'll be in my Mansion soon.

I'd rather be no where without her than somewhere without her

Arrogance is asking a god who wouldn't stop the holocaust to find your car keys.

Good People Do Things For Other People. That’s It. The End.

I'm a militant fundamentalist atheist. I'm going to get on a crowded train, unbutton my coat and say rational things. People will be hurt.

Take a picture not a trophy This is how real men shoot animals

Unlike religious people, I look at all religions equally.

If you can laugh in the face of adversity, you're bullet-proof.

Here lies Ricky Gervais: He had a laugh then found a lump.

It always comes back to us - why are we here? Well, we just happened to be here, we couldn't choose it. The chance of us being born - that sperm hitting that egg - is 400 trillion to 1. We're not special, we're just lucky; and this is a holiday. We didn't exist for 14 and a half billion years. Then we get 80 or 90 years if we're lucky, and then we'll never exist again. So we should make the most of it.

Religion's greatest trick wasn't making some people believe there was a God, it was telling you you shouldn't ever ridicule the ide, that it was sacred, to question this dogma> And of course it's not. As a scieentist,philosopher and comic that is something that is really important to me. NOTHING is sacrad.

I don't think it matters if there is a god or not. I've met people who believe in God that are good and that are bad. And I've met people who don't believe in God that are good and that are bad. So, just be good. I'm good. Not cos I think I'll go to heaven but because when I do something bad, I feel bad. And when I do something good, I feel good.

Science makes us understand how to stay alive longer - feelings give us the reason to want to

PC culture isn’t killing comedy, it’s driving it. As it always did.

If you can laugh in the face of adversity, you’re bullet-proof.

You can laugh at bad things without being bad people.

If you enjoy seeing an animal terrified or in pain you are a cunt.

There have been nearly 3000 Gods so far but only yours actually exists. The others are silly made-up nonsense. But not yours. Yours is real.

There have been nearly 3000 Gods so far but only yours actually exists. The others are silly made-up nonsense. But not yours. Yours is real.

I've always said, just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right.

Well, I think life is precious because you can't watch it again. I mean, you can believe in an afterlife if that makes you feel better. Doesn't mean it's true. But once you realize you're not gonna be around forever, I think that's what makes life so magical. One day you'll eat your last meal, smell your last flower, hug your friend for the very last time. You might not know it's the last time, so that's why you should do everything you love with passion, you know? Treasure the few years you've got because that's all there is.

I've always wanted to kick a duck up the arse.

7. Ricky Gervais as David Brent Only people who have seen the British Office will remember the moment when David Brent says, “I think there’s been a rape up there” in a sensitivity training seminar he is holding. As my friend B. J. Novak described it, it was such a profoundly funny moment on television that there was a paradigm shift in comedy after he said it. With the character of David Brent, Ricky Gervais guaranteed that he would live in the pantheon forever, even if he did years of terrible, mediocre stuff. (I’m not saying he will, but he could if he wanted.) He’s like Woody Allen, and the original The Office is his Annie Hall.

Ricky Gervais: “Nunca he sido insultado por un malévolo satanista por no creer en su diablo, solamente por amorosos cristianos por no creer en su dios”.

When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you're stupid.

Ricky Gervais, Louis CK, Anthony Jeselnik and I have the same sense of humor. They're just better at it than I am.

It's funny, comedians tell a joke and they get in trouble; Donald Trump says a terrible thing and means it, and he gets elected. I get it, though, Trump hit a vein. He hit the peak of political correctness, and he's an antidote to all that. People are tired of being told they can't say things, so he's suddenly this poster boy for saying what's on your mind, however terrible it is.

The existence of God is not subjective. He either exists or he doesn't. It's not a matter of opinion. You can have your own opinions. But you can't have your own facts.

A society grows great when old men plant trees in whose shade they know they shall never sit in