Richard Carlson Quotes

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness.

Choose to be kind over being right and you'll be right everytime.

The key to a good life is this: If you're not going to talk about something during the last hour of your life, then don't make it a top priority during your lifetime.

Something wonderful begins to happen with the simple realization that life, like an automobile, is driven from the inside out, not the other way around. As you focus more on becoming more peaceful with where you are, rather than focusing on where you would rather be, you begin to find peace right now, in the present. Then, as you move around, try new things, and meet new people, you carry that sense of inner peace with you. It's absolutely true that, "Wherever you go, there you are.

Don't sweat the small stuff...and it's all small stuff.

One of the mistakes many of us make is that we feel sorry for ourselves, or for others, thinking that life should be fair, or that someday it will be. It's not and it won't. When we make this mistake we tend to spend a lot of time wallowing and/or complaining about what's wrong with life. "It's not fair," we complain, not realizing that, perhaps, it was never intended to be.

Effective listening is more than simply avoiding the bad habit of interrupting others while they are speaking or finishing their sentences. It's being content to listen to the entire thought of someone rather than waiting impatiently for your chance to respond.

...when you let go of your expectations, when you accept life as it is, you're free.To hold on is to be serious and uptight. To let go is to lighten up.

You are what you practice most.

If we would just slow down, happiness would catch up to us.

Choose being kind over being right and you'll be right every time.

True happiness comes not when we get rid of all of our problems,but when we change our relationship to them, when we see our problems as a potential source of awakening, opportunities to practice, and to learn.

Life is a process--just one thing after another. When you lose it, just start again.

Even though we often mess up, most of us are doing the best that we know how with the circumstances that surround us.

Reading is a gift. It's something you can do almost anytime and anywhere. It can be a tremendous way to learn, relax, and even escape. So, enough about the virtues of reading. Time to read on.

One of the most dynamic and significant changes you can make in your life is to make the commitment to drop all negative references to your past, to begin living now.

Meanwhile, life keeps moving forward. The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Criticism, like swearing, is actually nothing more than a bad habit.

If, however, you take a moment to observe how you actually feel immediately after you criticise someone, you'll notice that you will feel a little deflated and ashamed, almost like you're the one who has been attacked. The reason this is true is that when we criticise, it's a statement to the world and to ourselves, "I have a need to be critical." This isn't something we are usually proud to admit.

We deny the parts of ourselves that we deem unacceptable rather than accepting the fact that we're all less than perfect.

I’m merely talking about learning to be less bothered by the actions of people.

Your heart, the compassionate part of you, knows that it’s impossible to feel better at the expense of someone else.

Many people live as if life were a dress rehearsal for some later date.

Try to maintain the perspective that, in time, everything disintegrates and returns to its initial form.

Learning to stop sweating the small stuff involves deciding what things to engage in and what things to ignore. From a certain perspective, life can be described as a series of mistakes, one right after another with a little space in between.

Life didn't come with a fool-proof manual.

Every day, tell at least one person something you like, admire, or appreciate about them.

Being heard and understood is “one of the greatest desires of the human heart.

The old adage, 'If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is' isn't always correct. In fact, the suspicion, cynicism, and doubt that are inherent in this belief can and does keep people from taking advantage of excellent opportunities.

as you begin to eliminate your need for perfection in all areas of your life, you'll begin to discover the perfection in life itself

we need to break the habit of overreacting because of our speedy assumption and judgments

If we could only live the way we know deep down we should, we would guarantee ourselves a life of richness & fulfillment.

I guess it´s safe to say that practice makes perfect. It makes sense, then, to be careful what you practice

What interferes with this peaceful feeling is our expectation of reciprocity.

As Mother Teresa reminds us, “We cannot do great things on this earth. We can only do small things with great love.

A low mood is not the time to analyze your life. To do so is emotional suicide. If you have a legitimate problem, it will still be there when your state of mind improves. The trick is to be grateful for our good moods and graceful in our low moods—not taking them too seriously. The next time you feel low, for whatever reason, remind yourself, “This too shall pass.” It will.

Children listen best with their eyes. What you do is what they hear.

mistakes are really not that big of a deal. in fact , as most of us acknowledge we need to make mistakes in order to learn and grow

Don't sweat the small stuff.

There are two rules for living in harmony. #1) Don’t sweat the small stuff and #2) It’s all small

Happiness is a state of mind, not a set of circumstances.

When you take time , often to reflect on the miracle of life - the miracle that you are even able to read this book - the gift of sight ,of love and all the rest , it can hep to remind you that many of the things that you think as "big stuff" are really just "small stuff" that you are turning into big tuff

When you have what you want (inner peace), you are less distracted by your wants, needs, desires, and concerns. It’s thus easier to concentrate, focus, achieve your goals, and to give back to others.

Find your true path. It’s so easy to become someone we don’t want to be, without even realizing it’s happening. We are created by the choices we make every day. And if we take action in order to please some authority figure, we’ll suddenly wake up down the road and say, “This isn’t me. I never wanted to be this person.

To a large degree, the measure of our peace of mind is determined by how much we are able to live in the present moment. Irrespective of what happened yesterday or last year, and what may or may not happen tomorrow, the present moment is where you are—always!

Many people spend their entire lifetimes wishing that other people would acknowledge them. They feel this especially about their parents, spouses, children, and friends.

Almost universally, when people look back on their lives while on their deathbed [...] they wish they had spent more time with the people and activities they truly loved and less time worrying about aspects of life that, upon deeper examination, really don't matter at all that much. Imagining yourself at your own funeral allows you to look back at your life while you still have the chance to make some important changes.

slowing down your responses and becoming a better listeners aids you in becoming a more peaceful person

Being listened to and heard is one of the greatest desires of the human heart. And those who learn to listen are the most loved and respected.” –Richard Carlson

Ironically, when you surrender your need to hog the glory, the attention you used to need from other people is replaced by a quiet inner confidence that is derived from letting others have it.

You’ll also notice that, as you reach out and let others be “right,” they will become less defensive and more loving toward you.

Ask yourself this question: will this matter a year from now?

Fear is the single most self-defeating emotion in our lives.

Now is the only time we have, and the only time we have any control over.

Life isn't all it's cracked up to be. Nothing is ever good enough the way it is.

They will pass away just as surely as the sun sets in the evening.

It is in our lowest moods, when we are least equipped to do so, that we are tempted to try to solve problems or resolve issues with others.

I am certain that a quiet mind is the foundation of inner peace. And inner peace translates into outer peace.

Humility and inner peace go hand in hand. The less compelled you are to try to prove yourself to others, the easier it is to feel peaceful inside.

Change the things that can be changed, accept those that cannot, and have the wisdom to know the difference.

speaking, as your level of understanding rises, you will have the experience of deeper feelings such as gratitude, calmness, peace, hope, and joy.

Inner peace is accomplished by understanding and accepting the inevitable contradictions of life—the pain and pleasure, success and failure, joy and sorrow, births and deaths. Problems can teach us to be gracious, humble, and patient.

Your job is to try to determine what the people in your life are trying to teach you. You’ll find that if you do this, you’ll be far less annoyed, bothered, and frustrated by the actions and imperfections of other people.

Do not sweat the small stuff.

Most of us spend too much time wishing that people would be other than they are.

Proving yourself is a dangerous trap.

One of the cardinal rules of joyful living is that judging others takes a great deal of energy and, without exception, pulls you away from where you want to be.

Seeking first to understand isn't about who's right or wrong; it is a philosophy of effective communication.

its helpful to step back and see the bigger picture

Irrespective of what happened yesterday or last year, and what may or may not happen tomorrow, the present moment is where you are—always!

Be the First One to Act Loving or Reach Out

It is our ability to forget our problems, through the process of thought, rather than the passage of time, that frees us from the circumstances of our past.

to enjoy each step along the way and live a life filled with love, it’s far easier for me to control my obsession with completing my list of things to do.

People are no longer human beings. We should be called human doings.

The fact that we can't see the beauty in something doesn't suggest that it's not there. Rather, it suggests that we are not looking carefully enough or with a broad enough perspective to see it.

You always feel good when you give to others. Rather than diluting the positive feelings by telling others about your own kindness, by keeping it to yourself you get to retain all the positive feelings.

Trust your intuitive heart. How often have you said to yourself, after the fact, “I knew I should have done that”? How often do you intuitively know something but allow yourself to think yourself out of it?

It's always a good idea to ask yourself, Where is this decision likely to lead? When you do, you can avoid many hassles and mistakes that are otherwise inevitable. By asking this simple question, you can keep your energy directed in areas that will serve you and others well.

If you want your life to stand for peace and kindness, it's helpful to do kind, peaceful things.

We take simple preferences and turn them into conditions for our own happiness.

we tend to focus on the annoying expectation

Admit that you're wrong- or that you've made a mistake.

Now is the only time we have, and the only time that we have any control over.

One of the most important questions you can ever ask yourself is, “Do I want to be ‘right’—or do I want to be happy?” Many times, the two are mutually exclusive!

I find that if I remind myself (frequently) that the purpose of life isn’t to get it all done

If you don’t want to “sweat the small stuff,” it’s critical that you choose your battles wisely.

The trick is to be grateful for our good moods and graceful in our low moods—not taking them too seriously.

We take our own goals so seriously that we forget to have fun along the way, and we forget to cut ourselves some slack.

We form opinions and then spend our entire lifetimes validating what we believe to be true.

there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.

When we’re busy making “other plans,” our children are busy growing up, the people we love are moving away and dying, our bodies are getting out of shape, and our dreams are slipping away. In short, we miss out on life.

Remember, when you die, there will still be unfinished business to take care of. And you know what? Someone else will do it for you! Don’t waste any more precious moments of your life regretting the inevitable.

Most people have it backward. When they are feeling down, they roll up their sleeves and get to work. They take their low moods very seriously and try to figure out and analyze what’s wrong. They try to force themselves out of their low state, which tends to compound the problem rather than solve it.

As our appreciation of happiness in relationship increases, we take notice of the things that tend to take us away from this feeling. One major catalyst taking us away is the need to be right. An opinion that is taken too seriously sets up conditions that must be met first before you can be happy. In relationships, this might sound like 'You must agree with or see my point of view in order for me to love and respect you.' In a more positive feeling state, this attitude would seem silly or harmful. We can disagree, even on important issues, and still love one another - when our own thought systems no longer have control over our lives and we see the innocence in our divergent points of view. The need to be right stems from an unhealthy relationship to your own thoughts. Do you believe your thoughts are representative of reality and need to be defended, or do you realize that realities are seen through different eyes? Your answer to this question will determine, to a large extent, your ability to remain in a positive feeling state. Everyone I know, who has put positive feeling above being right on their priority list has come to see that differences of opinion will take care of themselves.

Bragging actually dilutes the positive feelings you receive from an accomplishment or something you are proud of. To make matters worse, the more you try to prove yourself, the more others will avoid you, talk behind your back about your insecure need to brag, and perhaps even resent you.

Get Comfortable Not Knowing There once was a village that had among its people a very wise old man. The villagers trusted this man to provide them answers to their questions and concerns. One day, a farmer from the village went to the wise man and said in a frantic tone, “Wise man, help me. A horrible thing has happened. My ox has died and I have no animal to help me plow my field! Isn’t this the worst thing that could have possibly happened?” The wise old man replied, “Maybe so, maybe not.” The man hurried back to the village and reported to his neighbors that the wise man had gone mad. Surely this was the worst thing that could have happened. Why couldn’t he see this? The very next day, however, a strong, young horse was seen near the man’s farm. Because the man had no ox to rely on, he had the idea to catch the horse to replace his ox—and he did. How joyful the farmer was. Plowing the field had never been easier. He went back to the wise man to apologize. “You were right, wise man. Losing my ox wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened. It was a blessing in disguise! I never would have captured my new horse had that not happened. You must agree that this is the best thing that could have happened.” The wise man replied once again, “Maybe so, maybe not.” Not again, thought the farmer. Surely the wise man had gone mad now. But, once again, the farmer did not know what was to happen. A few days later the farmer’s son was riding the horse and was thrown off. He broke his leg and would not be able to help with the crop. Oh no, thought the man. Now we will starve to death. Once again, the farmer went to the wise man. This time he said, “How did you know that capturing my horse was not a good thing? You were right again. My son is injured and won’t be able to help with the crop. This time I’m sure that this is the worst thing that could have possibly happened. You must agree this time.” But, just as he had done before, the wise man calmly looked at the farmer and in a compassionate tone replied once again, “Maybe so, maybe not.” Enraged that the wise man could be so ignorant, the farmer stormed back to the village. The next day troops arrived to take every able-bodied man to the war that had just broken out. The farmer’s son was the only young man in the village who didn’t have to go. He would live, while the others would surely die. The moral of this story provides a powerful lesson. The truth is, we don’t know what’s going to happen—we just think we do. Often we make a big deal out of something. We blow up scenarios in our minds about all the terrible things that are going to happen. Most of the time we are wrong. If we keep our cool and stay open to possibilities, we can be reasonably certain that, eventually, all will be well. Remember: maybe so, maybe not.

The truth is, we don’t know what’s going to happen—we just think we do. Often we make a big deal out of something. We blow up scenarios in our minds about all the terrible things that are going to happen. Most of the time we are wrong. If we keep our cool and stay open to possibilities, we can be reasonably certain that, eventually, all will be well. Remember: maybe so, maybe not.

Something wonderful begins to happen with the simple realization that life, like an automobile, is driven from the inside out, not the other way around. As you focus more on becoming more peaceful with where you are, rather than focusing on where you would rather be, you begin to find peace right now, in the present. Then, as you move around, try new things, and meet new people, you carry that sense of inner peace with you. It’s absolutely true that “Wherever you go, there you are.

Wise people throughout history have been those who saw that while life is real, life’s problems are an illusion, they are thought-created. These people know that we manufacture and blow problems way out of proportion through our own ability to think. They also know that if we can step outside the boundaries of our own thinking, we can find the answer we are looking for. This, in a nutshell, is wisdom: the ability to see an answer without having to think of an answer. Wisdom is the ‘ah ha, that’s so obvious’ experience most of us have had many times. Few people seem to understand that this voice is always available to us. Wisdom is indeed your inner sense of knowing. It is true mental health, a peaceful state of mind where answers to questions are as plentiful as the problems you see when you aren’t experiencing wisdom. It’s as if wisdom lies in the space between your thoughts, in those quiet moments when your ‘biological computer’ is turned off.

In our relationships, weatherproofing typically plays itself out like this: You meet someone and all is well. You are attracted to his or her appearance, personality, intellect, sense of humor, or some combination of these traits. Initially, you not only approve of your differences with this person, you actually appreciate them. You might even be attracted to the person, in part because of how different you are. You have different opinions, preferences, tastes, and priorities. After a while, however, you begin to notice little quirks about your new partner (or friend, teacher, whoever), that you feel could be improved upon. You bring it to their attention. You might say, “You know, you sure have a tendency to be late.” Or, “I’ve noticed you don’t read very much.” The point is, you’ve begun what inevitably turns into a way of life—looking for and thinking about what you don’t like about someone, or something that isn’t quite right. Obviously, an occasional comment, constructive criticism, or helpful guidance isn’t cause for alarm. I have to say, however, that in the course of working with hundreds of couples over the years, I’ve met very few people who didn’t feel that they were weatherproofed at times by their partner. Occasional harmless comments have an insidious tendency to become a way of looking at life. When you are weatherproofing another human being, it says nothing about them—but it does define you as someone who needs to be critical. Whether you have a tendency to weatherproof your relationships, certain aspects of your life, or both, what you need to do is write off weatherproofing as a bad idea. As the habit creeps into your thinking, catch yourself and seal your lips. The less often you weatherproof your partner or your friends, the more you’ll notice how super your life really is.