Richard Carlson Quotes

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness.

Choose to be kind over being right and you'll be right everytime.

The key to a good life is this: If you're not going to talk about something during the last hour of your life, then don't make it a top priority during your lifetime.

Don't sweat the small stuff...and it's all small stuff.

Something wonderful begins to happen with the simple realization that life, like an automobile, is driven from the inside out, not the other way around. As you focus more on becoming more peaceful with where you are, rather than focusing on where you would rather be, you begin to find peace right now, in the present. Then, as you move around, try new things, and meet new people, you carry that sense of inner peace with you. It's absolutely true that, "Wherever you go, there you are.

Effective listening is more than simply avoiding the bad habit of interrupting others while they are speaking or finishing their sentences. It's being content to listen to the entire thought of someone rather than waiting impatiently for your chance to respond.

One of the mistakes many of us make is that we feel sorry for ourselves, or for others, thinking that life should be fair, or that someday it will be. It's not and it won't. When we make this mistake we tend to spend a lot of time wallowing and/or complaining about what's wrong with life. "It's not fair," we complain, not realizing that, perhaps, it was never intended to be.

...when you let go of your expectations, when you accept life as it is, you're free.To hold on is to be serious and uptight. To let go is to lighten up.

You are what you practice most.

If we would just slow down, happiness would catch up to us.

Choose being kind over being right and you'll be right every time.

True happiness comes not when we get rid of all of our problems,but when we change our relationship to them, when we see our problems as a potential source of awakening, opportunities to practice, and to learn.

Life is a process--just one thing after another. When you lose it, just start again.

Reading is a gift. It's something you can do almost anytime and anywhere. It can be a tremendous way to learn, relax, and even escape. So, enough about the virtues of reading. Time to read on.

Even though we often mess up, most of us are doing the best that we know how with the circumstances that surround us.

Meanwhile, life keeps moving forward. The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

One of the most dynamic and significant changes you can make in your life is to make the commitment to drop all negative references to your past, to begin living now.

Criticism, like swearing, is actually nothing more than a bad habit.

We deny the parts of ourselves that we deem unacceptable rather than accepting the fact that we're all less than perfect.

Try to maintain the perspective that, in time, everything disintegrates and returns to its initial form.

If, however, you take a moment to observe how you actually feel immediately after you criticise someone, you'll notice that you will feel a little deflated and ashamed, almost like you're the one who has been attacked. The reason this is true is that when we criticise, it's a statement to the world and to ourselves, "I have a need to be critical." This isn't something we are usually proud to admit.

Your heart, the compassionate part of you, knows that it’s impossible to feel better at the expense of someone else.

Many people live as if life were a dress rehearsal for some later date.

I’m merely talking about learning to be less bothered by the actions of people.

Being heard and understood is “one of the greatest desires of the human heart.

Learning to stop sweating the small stuff involves deciding what things to engage in and what things to ignore. From a certain perspective, life can be described as a series of mistakes, one right after another with a little space in between.

Life didn't come with a fool-proof manual.

Every day, tell at least one person something you like, admire, or appreciate about them.

as you begin to eliminate your need for perfection in all areas of your life, you'll begin to discover the perfection in life itself

The old adage, 'If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is' isn't always correct. In fact, the suspicion, cynicism, and doubt that are inherent in this belief can and does keep people from taking advantage of excellent opportunities.

we need to break the habit of overreacting because of our speedy assumption and judgments

If we could only live the way we know deep down we should, we would guarantee ourselves a life of richness & fulfillment.

I guess it´s safe to say that practice makes perfect. It makes sense, then, to be careful what you practice

What interferes with this peaceful feeling is our expectation of reciprocity.

As Mother Teresa reminds us, “We cannot do great things on this earth. We can only do small things with great love.

mistakes are really not that big of a deal. in fact , as most of us acknowledge we need to make mistakes in order to learn and grow

Children listen best with their eyes. What you do is what they hear.

A low mood is not the time to analyze your life. To do so is emotional suicide. If you have a legitimate problem, it will still be there when your state of mind improves. The trick is to be grateful for our good moods and graceful in our low moods—not taking them too seriously. The next time you feel low, for whatever reason, remind yourself, “This too shall pass.” It will.

When you take time , often to reflect on the miracle of life - the miracle that you are even able to read this book - the gift of sight ,of love and all the rest , it can hep to remind you that many of the things that you think as "big stuff" are really just "small stuff" that you are turning into big tuff

Happiness is a state of mind, not a set of circumstances.

There are two rules for living in harmony. #1) Don’t sweat the small stuff and #2) It’s all small

Don't sweat the small stuff.

When you have what you want (inner peace), you are less distracted by your wants, needs, desires, and concerns. It’s thus easier to concentrate, focus, achieve your goals, and to give back to others.

Many people spend their entire lifetimes wishing that other people would acknowledge them. They feel this especially about their parents, spouses, children, and friends.

To a large degree, the measure of our peace of mind is determined by how much we are able to live in the present moment. Irrespective of what happened yesterday or last year, and what may or may not happen tomorrow, the present moment is where you are—always!

Find your true path. It’s so easy to become someone we don’t want to be, without even realizing it’s happening. We are created by the choices we make every day. And if we take action in order to please some authority figure, we’ll suddenly wake up down the road and say, “This isn’t me. I never wanted to be this person.

Ironically, when you surrender your need to hog the glory, the attention you used to need from other people is replaced by a quiet inner confidence that is derived from letting others have it.

slowing down your responses and becoming a better listeners aids you in becoming a more peaceful person

Almost universally, when people look back on their lives while on their deathbed [...] they wish they had spent more time with the people and activities they truly loved and less time worrying about aspects of life that, upon deeper examination, really don't matter at all that much. Imagining yourself at your own funeral allows you to look back at your life while you still have the chance to make some important changes.

You’ll also notice that, as you reach out and let others be “right,” they will become less defensive and more loving toward you.

Being listened to and heard is one of the greatest desires of the human heart. And those who learn to listen are the most loved and respected.” –Richard Carlson

Fear is the single most self-defeating emotion in our lives.

Now is the only time we have, and the only time we have any control over.

Trust your intuitive heart. How often have you said to yourself, after the fact, “I knew I should have done that”? How often do you intuitively know something but allow yourself to think yourself out of it?

The trick is to be grateful for our good moods and graceful in our low moods—not taking them too seriously.

It is in our lowest moods, when we are least equipped to do so, that we are tempted to try to solve problems or resolve issues with others.

Ask yourself this question: will this matter a year from now?

Humility and inner peace go hand in hand. The less compelled you are to try to prove yourself to others, the easier it is to feel peaceful inside.

Change the things that can be changed, accept those that cannot, and have the wisdom to know the difference.

The need for perfection and the desire for inner tranquility conflict with each other.

speaking, as your level of understanding rises, you will have the experience of deeper feelings such as gratitude, calmness, peace, hope, and joy.

One of the cardinal rules of joyful living is that judging others takes a great deal of energy and, without exception, pulls you away from where you want to be.

I am certain that a quiet mind is the foundation of inner peace. And inner peace translates into outer peace.

Life isn't all it's cracked up to be. Nothing is ever good enough the way it is.

They will pass away just as surely as the sun sets in the evening.

there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.

to enjoy each step along the way and live a life filled with love, it’s far easier for me to control my obsession with completing my list of things to do.

If you want to be a more peaceful person you must understand that being right is almost never more important than allowing yourself to be happy.

It is our ability to forget our problems, through the process of thought, rather than the passage of time, that frees us from the circumstances of our past.

We form opinions and then spend our entire lifetimes validating what we believe to be true.

Benjamin Franklin said it best: “Our limited perspective, our hopes and fears become our measure of life, and when circumstances don’t fit our ideas, they become our difficulties.

When we’re busy making “other plans,” our children are busy growing up, the people we love are moving away and dying, our bodies are getting out of shape, and our dreams are slipping away. In short, we miss out on life.

Your job is to try to determine what the people in your life are trying to teach you. You’ll find that if you do this, you’ll be far less annoyed, bothered, and frustrated by the actions and imperfections of other people.

The fact that we can't see the beauty in something doesn't suggest that it's not there. Rather, it suggests that we are not looking carefully enough or with a broad enough perspective to see it.

Inner peace is accomplished by understanding and accepting the inevitable contradictions of life—the pain and pleasure, success and failure, joy and sorrow, births and deaths. Problems can teach us to be gracious, humble, and patient.

Irrespective of what happened yesterday or last year, and what may or may not happen tomorrow, the present moment is where you are—always!

Do not sweat the small stuff.

People are no longer human beings. We should be called human doings.

Being listened to and heard is one of the greatest desires of the human heart. And those who learn to listen are the most loved and respected.

Seeking first to understand isn't about who's right or wrong; it is a philosophy of effective communication.

Proving yourself is a dangerous trap.

its helpful to step back and see the bigger picture

If you don’t want to “sweat the small stuff,” it’s critical that you choose your battles wisely.

Most of us spend too much time wishing that people would be other than they are.

We take simple preferences and turn them into conditions for our own happiness.

Success originates in the mind and translates into the material world.

I find that if I remind myself (frequently) that the purpose of life isn’t to get it all done

Admit that you're wrong- or that you've made a mistake.

two rules of harmony. #1) Don’t sweat the small stuff, and #2) It’s all small stuff.

In low moods we lose our perspective and everything seems urgent.

Love your plant whether it blooms or not, whether it lives or dies.

we tend to focus on the annoying expectation

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. Richard Carlson

لقد سأل الكاتب ستيفن ليفين السؤال التالي: لو تبقى من عمرك ساعة واحدة، ولم يكن أمامك سوى مكالمة هاتفية واحدة فمن الذي تحب أن تكلمه عبر الهاتف؟ وماذا ستقول له؟ ولماذا تنتظر حتى الآن!؟

You always feel good when you give to others. Rather than diluting the positive feelings by telling others about your own kindness, by keeping it to yourself you get to retain all the positive feelings.

Remember, when you die, there will still be unfinished business to take care of. And you know what? Someone else will do it for you! Don’t waste any more precious moments of your life regretting the inevitable.

Trust in your own instincts and wisdom, and not in the words and fears of experts.

If you want your life to stand for peace and kindness, it's helpful to do kind, peaceful things.

Now is the only time we have, and the only time that we have any control over.

The sooner we accept the inevitable dilemma of not being able to win the approval of everyone we meet, the easier our lives will become.

Often a single act of kindness sets a series of kind acts in motion.

One of the most important questions you can ever ask yourself is, “Do I want to be ‘right’—or do I want to be happy?” Many times, the two are mutually exclusive!

A low mood is not the time to analyze your life. To do so is emotional suicide.

Be the First One to Act Loving or Reach Out

We take our own goals so seriously that we forget to have fun along the way, and we forget to cut ourselves some slack.

While most of us wouldn’t write ourselves a nasty letter, read it, and then feel offended, this is precisely what we do with regard to our thinking. We

In a low state of mind, everything seems really bad and worse than it probably is.

when you judge someone else or their opinion, it really doesn’t say anything about the other person, but it says quite a bit about your need to be judgmental.

Accepting people's quirks or flaws doesn't just take changing them off your to-do list—it also gives you the time and energy to change the things you can.

The next time you feel low, for whatever reason, remind yourself, “This too shall pass.” It will.

Let’s be honest. Being part of a family is a privilege and certainly rewarding, but it can also be a little difficult, even when things are going well.

If you’re feeling a little jealous, greedy, or angry, rather than deny or bury your feelings, you can open to them, which helps you move through them quickly and grow beyond them.

Most people have it backward. When they are feeling down, they roll up their sleeves and get to work. They take their low moods very seriously and try to figure out and analyze what’s wrong. They try to force themselves out of their low state, which tends to compound the problem rather than solve it.

my favorite is Richard Hittleman’s Yoga Twenty-eight-Day Exercise Plan. There are also many fine videos you can learn from as well as a magazine dedicated solely to yoga called Yoga Journal.

98. Look for the Extraordinary in the Ordinary I heard a story about two workers who were approached by a reporter. The reporter asked the first worker, “What are you doing?” His response was to complain that he was virtually a slave, an underpaid bricklayer who spent his

It's always a good idea to ask yourself, Where is this decision likely to lead? When you do, you can avoid many hassles and mistakes that are otherwise inevitable. By asking this simple question, you can keep your energy directed in areas that will serve you and others well.

I used to be the type of person who would jump in and try to solve a problem without being asked. Not only did my efforts prove fruitless, they were also almost always unappreciated, and sometimes even resented.

reminding yourself over and over again (with loving kindness and patience) that you have a choice in how you respond to life.

Those who are in the habit of correcting others are often resented and avoided.

The trick is to be grateful for our good moods and graceful in our low moods--not taking them too seriously.

Ask yourself this question: 'Will this matter a year from now?

Your thoughts always create your emotions. Understanding the significance of this fact is the first step in escaping from unhappiness and depression.

It doesn’t seem to make any difference how much we have; we just keep expanding our list of desires,

Fortunately, there is an inviolable law in our emotional environment that goes something like this: Our current level of stress will be exactly that of our tolerance to stress.

El ahora es lo único que tenemos, y el único tiempo sobre el que tenemos algún control.

Any success that you do have is despite your fear, not because of it.

it is we who must rise to the occasion and take responsibility for our own happiness.

The greater our surrender to the truth of the moment, the greater will be our peace of mind.

If you do, there will come a day when you’ll rarely feel the need to do battle at all.

When you hurry someone along, interrupt someone, or finish his or her sentence, you have to keep track not only of your own thoughts but of those of the person you are interrupting

Contrary to popular belief, negative feelings don’t need to be studied and analyzed. When you analyze your negative feelings, you’ll usually end up with more of them to contend with. The

One of my favorite posters says, “Life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been a real life you would have been instructed where to go and what to do.” Whenever I think of this humorous bit of wisdom, it reminds me to not take my life so seriously.

As our appreciation of happiness in relationship increases, we take notice of the things that tend to take us away from this feeling. One major catalyst taking us away is the need to be right. An opinion that is taken too seriously sets up conditions that must be met first before you can be happy. In relationships, this might sound like 'You must agree with or see my point of view in order for me to love and respect you.' In a more positive feeling state, this attitude would seem silly or harmful. We can disagree, even on important issues, and still love one another - when our own thought systems no longer have control over our lives and we see the innocence in our divergent points of view. The need to be right stems from an unhealthy relationship to your own thoughts. Do you believe your thoughts are representative of reality and need to be defended, or do you realize that realities are seen through different eyes? Your answer to this question will determine, to a large extent, your ability to remain in a positive feeling state. Everyone I know, who has put positive feeling above being right on their priority list has come to see that differences of opinion will take care of themselves.

Regardless of who you are or what you do, however, remember that nothing is more important than your own sense of happiness and inner peace and that of your loved ones. If you’re obsessed with getting everything done, you’ll never have a sense of well-being!

My best friend, Benjamin Shield, taught me this valuable lesson. Often our inner struggles come from our tendency to jump on board someone else’s problem; someone throws you a concern and you assume you must catch it, and respond.

Bragging actually dilutes the positive feelings you receive from an accomplishment or something you are proud of. To make matters worse, the more you try to prove yourself, the more others will avoid you, talk behind your back about your insecure need to brag, and perhaps even resent you.

Without getting too psychoanalytical about it, the reason we are tempted to put others down, correct them, or show them how we’re right and they’re wrong is that our ego mistakenly believes that if we point out how someone else is wrong, we must be right, and therefore we will feel better.

Circumstances don't make a person, they reveal him or her.

So many people spend so much of their life energy 'sweating the small stuff' that they completely lose touch with the magic and beauty of life.

We cannot do great things on this earth. We can only do little things with great love.

No one has the right to force you to violate your own privacy.

Mark Twain said, “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

Do I want to be ‘right’—or do I want to be happy?

Life isn’t an emergency.

You never need to be frightened by your own thoughts.

Compassion is something you can develop with practice. It involves two things: intention and action.

Let Go of the Idea that Gentle, Relaxed People Can’t Be Superachievers

Be Grateful when You’re Feeling Good and Graceful when You’re Feeling Bad

He chuckles at all the people he knows who have taken out bank loans to travel to exotic places like Europe but who have never seen a single state park right here near home.

You don’t need to change your core beliefs or your deepest held positions. All you’re doing is expanding your mind and opening your heart to new ideas.

Life is a practice and what you practice grows like a seedling that gets water and sunlight. What you practice grows stronger.

So perhaps the best thing to do is simply be aware of how much venting is okay and how much is too much.

Being listened to and heard is one of the greatest desires of the human heart.

In low moods we lose our perspective and everything seems urgent. We completely forget that when we are in a good mood, everything seems so much better.

100: Live This Day as if It Were Your Last.

The more patient you are, the more accepting you will be of what is, rather than insisting that life be exactly as you would like it to be.

Something wonderful begins to happen with the simple realization that life, like an automobile, is driven from the inside out, not the other way around. As you focus more on becoming more peaceful with where you are, rather than focusing on where you would rather be, you begin to find peace right now, in the present. Then, as you move around, try new things, and meet new people, you carry that sense of inner peace with you. It’s absolutely true that “Wherever you go, there you are.

My guess is that if you can be more forgiving of your own outbursts and those of others, the downs you experience and your tendency to sweat the small stuff at home will lessen substantially.

The fact that we can't see the beauty in something doesn't suggest that it's not there. Rather, it suggests that were are not looking carefully enough or with a broad enough perspective to see it.

Get Comfortable Not Knowing There once was a village that had among its people a very wise old man. The villagers trusted this man to provide them answers to their questions and concerns. One day, a farmer from the village went to the wise man and said in a frantic tone, “Wise man, help me. A horrible thing has happened. My ox has died and I have no animal to help me plow my field! Isn’t this the worst thing that could have possibly happened?” The wise old man replied, “Maybe so, maybe not.” The man hurried back to the village and reported to his neighbors that the wise man had gone mad. Surely this was the worst thing that could have happened. Why couldn’t he see this? The very next day, however, a strong, young horse was seen near the man’s farm. Because the man had no ox to rely on, he had the idea to catch the horse to replace his ox—and he did. How joyful the farmer was. Plowing the field had never been easier. He went back to the wise man to apologize. “You were right, wise man. Losing my ox wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened. It was a blessing in disguise! I never would have captured my new horse had that not happened. You must agree that this is the best thing that could have happened.” The wise man replied once again, “Maybe so, maybe not.” Not again, thought the farmer. Surely the wise man had gone mad now. But, once again, the farmer did not know what was to happen. A few days later the farmer’s son was riding the horse and was thrown off. He broke his leg and would not be able to help with the crop. Oh no, thought the man. Now we will starve to death. Once again, the farmer went to the wise man. This time he said, “How did you know that capturing my horse was not a good thing? You were right again. My son is injured and won’t be able to help with the crop. This time I’m sure that this is the worst thing that could have possibly happened. You must agree this time.” But, just as he had done before, the wise man calmly looked at the farmer and in a compassionate tone replied once again, “Maybe so, maybe not.” Enraged that the wise man could be so ignorant, the farmer stormed back to the village. The next day troops arrived to take every able-bodied man to the war that had just broken out. The farmer’s son was the only young man in the village who didn’t have to go. He would live, while the others would surely die. The moral of this story provides a powerful lesson. The truth is, we don’t know what’s going to happen—we just think we do. Often we make a big deal out of something. We blow up scenarios in our minds about all the terrible things that are going to happen. Most of the time we are wrong. If we keep our cool and stay open to possibilities, we can be reasonably certain that, eventually, all will be well. Remember: maybe so, maybe not.

Your home is your haven, an escape from the outside world. When you allow too much of the craziness from the outside to enter your home, you eliminate, or at least reduce, a potential source of peace.

When you allow yourself to be bored, it takes an enormous amount of pressure off you to be performing and doing something every second of every day. Now, when either of my two children says to me, “Daddy, I’m bored,” I respond by saying, “Great, be bored for a while. It’s good for you.” Once I say this, they always give up on the idea of me solving their problem.

The truth is, we don’t know what’s going to happen—we just think we do. Often we make a big deal out of something. We blow up scenarios in our minds about all the terrible things that are going to happen. Most of the time we are wrong. If we keep our cool and stay open to possibilities, we can be reasonably certain that, eventually, all will be well. Remember: maybe so, maybe not.

Just like a garden that flourishes best under certain conditions, your home operates more smoothly when the emotional climate is well thought out. Rather than simply reacting to each crisis and circumstance as it arises, setting an emotional climate gives you a head start in fending off potential sources of stress and conflict. It helps you respond to life rather than react to it.

This is pretty simple stuff. But the truth is, the reality of making money and wise decisions isn't very complicated. However, not many people understand the importance of a don't-worry attitude. If you do, you're one step ahead of the game.

Life’s minor annoyances can become kindling to a fire, and crisis can become the melting point for many not knowing where to turn for help.

Running late makes us feel stressed out and encourages us to sweat the small stuff!

Mental health has commonly been called conscience, instinct, wisdom, common sense, or the inner voice. We

Praise and blame are all the same is a fancy way of reminding yourself of the old cliché that you’ll never be able to please all the people all the time.

Although airing your grievances with others may help you feel less alone and on rare occasions gets you good advice, more often than not it keeps you stuck in a bad mood.

Protecting and respecting your own privacy is a statement to yourself and others that you value yourself and your own peace of mind.

Praise and blame are all the same is a fancy way of reminding yourself of the old cliché that you’ll never be able to please all the people all the time. Even in a landslide election victory in which a candidate secures 55 percent of the vote, he or she is left with 45 percent of the population that wishes someone else were the winner. Pretty humbling, isn’t it?

Living in the present simply means living life now, with your attention fully engaged in this present moment, not allowing your mind to carry you away to experiences removed from this moment.

If you can begin to see that your thoughts are not the real thing – they’re just thoughts, and as thoughts they can’t hurt you – your entire life will begin to change today. I have witnessed many times this very same realization transform someone from a life of fear and depression into a life of happiness.

If we all based our love on our children’s behavior, it would often be difficult to love them at all. If love were based purely on behavior, then perhaps none of us would ever have been loved as a teenager!

True happiness comes not when we get rid of all out problems, but when we change our relationship to them, when we see our problems as a potential source of awakening, opportunities to practice, and to learn.

Wise people throughout history have been those who saw that while life is real, life’s problems are an illusion, they are thought-created. These people know that we manufacture and blow problems way out of proportion through our own ability to think. They also know that if we can step outside the boundaries of our own thinking, we can find the answer we are looking for. This, in a nutshell, is wisdom: the ability to see an answer without having to think of an answer. Wisdom is the ‘ah ha, that’s so obvious’ experience most of us have had many times. Few people seem to understand that this voice is always available to us. Wisdom is indeed your inner sense of knowing. It is true mental health, a peaceful state of mind where answers to questions are as plentiful as the problems you see when you aren’t experiencing wisdom. It’s as if wisdom lies in the space between your thoughts, in those quiet moments when your ‘biological computer’ is turned off.

Happy people know that regardless of what happened yesterday, last month, years ago—or what might happen later today, tomorrow, or next year—now is the only place where happiness can actually be found and experienced.

I’m the first to admit that I always prefer approval over disapproval. It feels better and it’s certainly easier to deal with. The more content I’ve become, however, the less I depend on it for my sense of well-being.

To combat fear, the best strategy is to learn to bring your attention back to the present. Mark Twain said, “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” I don’t think I can say it any better. Practice keeping your attention on the here and now. Your efforts will pay great dividends.

In our relationships, weatherproofing typically plays itself out like this: You meet someone and all is well. You are attracted to his or her appearance, personality, intellect, sense of humor, or some combination of these traits. Initially, you not only approve of your differences with this person, you actually appreciate them. You might even be attracted to the person, in part because of how different you are. You have different opinions, preferences, tastes, and priorities. After a while, however, you begin to notice little quirks about your new partner (or friend, teacher, whoever), that you feel could be improved upon. You bring it to their attention. You might say, “You know, you sure have a tendency to be late.” Or, “I’ve noticed you don’t read very much.” The point is, you’ve begun what inevitably turns into a way of life—looking for and thinking about what you don’t like about someone, or something that isn’t quite right. Obviously, an occasional comment, constructive criticism, or helpful guidance isn’t cause for alarm. I have to say, however, that in the course of working with hundreds of couples over the years, I’ve met very few people who didn’t feel that they were weatherproofed at times by their partner. Occasional harmless comments have an insidious tendency to become a way of looking at life. When you are weatherproofing another human being, it says nothing about them—but it does define you as someone who needs to be critical. Whether you have a tendency to weatherproof your relationships, certain aspects of your life, or both, what you need to do is write off weatherproofing as a bad idea. As the habit creeps into your thinking, catch yourself and seal your lips. The less often you weatherproof your partner or your friends, the more you’ll notice how super your life really is.

I’ve never met anyone (myself included) who hasn’t turned little things into great big emergencies. We take our own goals so seriously that we forget to have fun along the way, and we forget to cut ourselves some slack. We take simple preferences and turn them into conditions for our own happiness. Or, we beat ourselves up if we can’t meet our self-created deadlines.

People who learn to not sweat the small stuff with family and around the home have an enormous edge in life. They expend far less energy being irritated and frustrated and have more left over for having fun and being productive and loving. The energy that used to be spent being “stressed out” is now focused on creativity and the creation of joyful experiences and memories.

Bob Hope: You live here? Richard Carlson: Yes. Bob Hope: Well, maybe you know what a zombie is? Richard Carlson: When a person dies and is buried, it seems a certain voodoo priest will have the power to bring him back to life. Paulette Goddard: That's horrible! Richard Carlson: It's worse than horrible, because a zombie has no will of his own. You see them some times, walking around blindly with dead eyes, following orders, not knowing what they do, not caring. Bob Hope: You mean, like Democrats?

I find that if I remind myself (frequently) that the purpose of life isn’t to get it all done but to enjoy each step along the way and live a life filled with love, it’s far easier for me to control my obsession with completing my list of things to do.

Life is what’s happening while we’re busy making other plans.” When we’re busy making “other plans,” our children are busy growing up, the people we love are moving away and dying, our bodies are getting out of shape, and our dreams are slipping away. In short, we miss out on life.

A failure to live from the heart creates a great deal of internal conflict, which in turn encourages you to become short-tempered, easily bothered, and reactive. Deep down, you know what is true for you, what kind of life you want to be living, and what type of person you want to be.

Each of us places varying degrees of significance on what’s really relevant and important, and we can almost always find fault with the way someone else is thinking or behaving. We can usually validate our own versions of reality by focusing on examples that, we believe, prove us to be right. In short, the way we see life will always seem justified, logical, and correct—to ourselves. The problem is, everyone else has the same assumption.

When you take time, often, to reflect on the miracle of life—the miracle that you are even able to read this book—the gift of sight, of love, and all the rest, it can help to remind you that many of the things that you think of as “big stuff” are really just “small stuff” that you are turning into big stuff.

Once you understand that you are the thinker of your own thoughts, and that your mind doesn‘t produce ‘reality’, it produces ‘thoughts’, you won’t be as affected by what you think. You’ll see your thinking as something that you are doing – an ability you have that brings your experience of life – rather than as the source of reality. Do you remember the old saying ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me’? Thoughts could be substituted for words. Your thoughts can’t hurt or depress you once you understand that they are just thoughts. When you start to view your own thinking in this more impersonal way (in other words, looking at your thinking instead of being caught in it), you will find yourself becoming free of depression. Your thinking goes on and on, and it will continue to do so for as long as you live. But when you step back from your thinking and simply observe that you are doing it, your mind becomes free, and you open the door to experience.

The happiest person on earth isn’t always happy. In fact, the happiest people all have their fair share of low moods, problems, disappointments, and heartache. Often the difference between a person who is happy and someone who is unhappy isn’t how often they get low, or even how low they drop, but instead, it’s what they do with their low moods. How do they relate to their changing feelings? Most people have it backward. When they are feeling down, they roll up their sleeves and get to work. They take their low moods very seriously and try to figure out and analyze what’s wrong. They try to force themselves out of their low state, which tends to compound the problem rather than solve it.

Often, the answer to a problem or dilemma is not immediately obvious, and we simply don’t know what to do next. As we mentioned earlier, a problem cannot be solved at the same level of thinking in which it was created; we need a shift in our level of understanding. This logic reminds us that if we do not know the answer to a specific problem, recycling the same information over and over usually will not produce a solution. It will, however, keep our minds busy and speeded up. It will create stress. We’ve all had the experience of being stuck in “thought quicksand,” where our mental struggling sucks us deeper into our analytical thinking. This is an example of the misuse of the analytical thought process.

CNN journalist Tucker Carlson?

I guess it´s safe to say that practice makes perfect. It makes sense, then, to be careful what you practice. (Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, 1997)

it turns out that when we reach a certain age. for some of us High school. for some of us college. for some of us full career. like Tucker. a moment comes and that's where Tucker is, when he realizes he has been lied to. he has been misled. he has been miseducated. he is not only upset to learn it. but he is angry. why was this done to us? Why have we been told this silly story?

In addition, you’ll discover that when you’re not running late you’ll be able to enjoy rather than rush through the different things you do each day. Even simple, ordinary events can be great fun when you’re not in such a hurry.

If you want to have an effective, loving experience of family, you must learn to be patient and to not let the little things drive you crazy and take over your life. There are certainly enough difficult things to deal with regarding family and home life. So, the truth is, if you sweat the small stuff at home, you’re probably setting yourself up to be a nervous wreck. To me, this is a very important topic to cover. The stakes are high—the harmony in your home, even your own sanity.

A bigger problem, I believe, than a outburst is the way we beat ourselves up after the fact. We tell ourselves what bad people we are, or what a bad job we’re doing at home. We feel guilty and fill our minds with negativity and self-pity. Sadly, this self-defeating inner talk doesn’t accomplish anything positive—and may even actually encourage us to repeat the very behavior we are upset about by keeping our attention and focus on the problem.

The happiest person on earth isn’t always happy. In fact, the happiest people all have their fair share of low moods, problems, disappointments, and heartache. Often the difference between a person who is happy and someone who is unhappy isn’t how often they get low, or even how low they drop, but instead, it’s what they do with their low moods. How do they relate to their changing feelings? Most people have it backward. When they are feeling down, they roll up their sleeves and get to work. They take their low moods very seriously and try to figure out and analyze what’s wrong. They try to force themselves out of their low state, which tends to compound the problem rather than solve it. When you observe peaceful, relaxed people, you find that when they are feeling good, they are very grateful. They understand that both positive and negative feelings come and go, and that there will come a time when they won’t be feeling so good. To happy people, this is okay, it’s the way of things. They accept the inevitability of passing feelings. So, when they are feeling depressed, angry, or stressed out, they relate to these feelings with the same openness and wisdom. Rather than fight their feelings and panic simply because they are feeling bad, they accept their feelings, knowing that this too shall pass. Rather than stumbling and fighting against their negative feelings, they are graceful in their acceptance of them. This allows them to come gently and gracefully out of negative feeling states into more positive states of mind. One of the happiest people I know is someone who also gets quite low from time to time. The difference, it seems, is that he has become comfortable with his low moods. It’s almost as though he doesn’t really care because he knows that, in due time, he will be happy again. To him, it’s no big deal. The next time you’re feeling bad, rather than fight it, try to relax. See if, instead of panicking, you can be graceful and calm. Know that if you don’t fight your negative feelings, if you are graceful, they will pass away just as surely as the sun sets in the evening.

One day, a farmer from the village went to the wise man and said in a frantic tone, “Wise man, help me. A horrible thing has happened. My ox has died and I have no animal to help me plow my field! Isn’t this the worst thing that could have possibly happened?” The wise old man replied, “Maybe so, maybe not.” The man hurried back to the village and reported to his neighbors that the wise man had gone mad. Surely this was the worst thing that could have happened. Why couldn’t he see this? The very next day, however, a strong, young horse was seen near the man’s farm. Because the man had no ox to rely on, he had the idea to catch the horse to replace his ox—and he did. How joyful the farmer was. Plowing the field had never been easier. He went back to the wise man to apologize. “You were right, wise man. Losing my ox wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened. It was a blessing in disguise! I never would have captured my new horse had that not happened. You must agree that this is the best thing that could have happened.” The wise man replied once again, “Maybe so, maybe not.” Not again, thought the farmer. Surely the wise man had gone mad now. But, once again, the farmer did not know what was to happen. A few days later the farmer’s son was riding the horse and was thrown off. He broke his leg and would not be able to help with the crop. Oh no, thought the man. Now we will starve to death. Once again, the farmer went to the wise man. This time he said, “How did you know that capturing my horse was not a good thing? You were right again. My son is injured and won’t be able to help with the crop. This time I’m sure that this is the worst thing that could have possibly happened. You must agree this time.” But, just as he had done before, the wise man calmly looked at the farmer and in a compassionate tone replied once again, “Maybe so, maybe not.” Enraged that the wise man could be so ignorant, the farmer stormed back to the village. The next day troops arrived to take every able-bodied man to the war that had just broken out. The farmer’s son was the only young man in the village who didn’t have to go. He would live, while the others would surely die. The moral of this story provides a powerful lesson.