Revenge Funny Quotes

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I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. If a Jew wrong a Christian, what is his humility? Revenge. If a Christian wrong a Jew, what should his sufferance be by Christian example? Why, revenge. The villany you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction.
William Shakespeare
May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch
Keisha Keenleyside
There was no doubt in my mind that Daemon believed revenge was a dish best served in my face.
Jennifer L. Armentrout (Obsidian (Lux, #1))
No one messes around with a nerd’s computer and escapes unscathed.
E.A. Bucchianeri (Brushstrokes of a Gadfly (Gadfly Saga, #1))
The trouble with aggressive nonsmokers is that they feel they are doing you a favor by not allowing you to smoke. They seem to think that one day you'll look back and thank them for those precious fifteen seconds they just added to your life. What they don't understand is that those are just fifteen more seconds you can spend hating their guts and plotting revenge.
David Sedaris (Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays)
Funny thing about revenge. It could make a killer out of a nun.
Kevis Hendrickson
FIGHT FOR EQUALITY, NOT TO SEEK REVENGE, PLEASE!
Jimmy Tudeski (Comedian Gone Wrong)
I was performing my ritual of sipping tea, shooting flirtatious glances and planning murder
Mingmei Yip (Peach Blossom Pavilion)
We are way less likely to love someone just because they love us than we are to hate someone just because they hate us.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Can I just ask, after we find this guy, can we talk about the Vibrator Ceremony? I’m thinking of making us all kind of choir like robes to wear but with sequins and some satin sashes as belts. Maybe in chartreuse.
Kristen Ashley (Rock Chick Revenge (Rock Chick, #5))
So Jason, in England, do you eat these ‘Farmer burgers?’” Wong Tong asked. “Farmer burgers? I don’t know what they are?” “Maybe I have the name wrong. I remember the name from the song,” Wong Tong explained. “What song?” Jason asked. “You know the ‘E, I, E, I, O’ song.” ‘E, I, E, I, O’ song? Jason started to roar with laughter. He tried to speak but was laughing, much to the annoyance of Wong Tong. He held his chest, laughing still hurt his ribs. “You mean the ‘Old Macdonald had a farm’ song. You mean Macdonald’s burgers,” he said, laughing. “Yes, I have had them. They’re good.
Mark A. Cooper (Revenge (Jason Steed, #2))
Hate was a funny thing. It gnawed at her insides like poison. It made every muscle in her body tense, made her veins boil so hot she thought her head might split in half, and yet it fueled everything she did. Hate was its own kind of fire and if you had nothing else, it kept you warm
R.F. Kuang (The Poppy War (The Poppy War, #1))
In some cases, you can tell how somebody is being treated by their own boss from the way they are treating someone to whom they are a boss.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Uncle Vito is going to make his own nephew swim with the fishes?
Kristen Ashley (Rock Chick Revenge (Rock Chick, #5))
Impressive," Court offered, gallantly bending to retrieve the shoe. "You should join the theater." "Fuck you." "I owed you that." "Revenge is a dish best served with a side of handcuffs and a hard ass-fucking. Remember that." Really is a dirty fighter. Goddamn.
Finn Marlowe (Forever in One Second)
This wasn’t what she expected. Never, in her wildest dreams. This... this was the Blood Queen of Garbhán Isle? Scourge of the Madron lands? Destroyer of Villages? Demon Killer of Women and Children? She who had blood pacts with the darkest of gods? This was Annwyl the Bloody? Talaith watched, fascinated, as Annwyl held onto Morfyd the Witch’s wrists. Morfyd — the Black Witch of Despair, Killer of the Innocent, Annihilator of Souls, and all around Mad Witch of Garbhán Isle or so she was called on the Madron lands — had actually tried to sneak up on Annwyl to put ointment on the nasty wound the queen had across her face. But as soon as the warrior saw her, she squealed and grabbed hold of her. Now Annwyl lay on her back, Morfyd over her, trying her best to get Annwyl to stop being a ten year old. “If you just let me—” “No! Get that centaur shit away from me, you demon bitch!” “Annwyl, I’m not letting you go home to my brother looking like that. You look horrific.” “He’ll have to love me in spite of it. Now get off!” ... “Ow!” “Crybaby.” No, this isn’t what Talaith expected. Annwyl the Blood Queen was supposed to be a vicious, uncaring warrior bent on revenge and power. She let her elite guard rape and and pillage wherever they went, and she used babies as target practice while their mothers watched in horror. That’s what she was supposed to be and that’s what Talaith expected to find. Instead, she found Annwyl. Just Annwyl. A warrior who spent most of her resting time reading or mooning over her consort. She was silly, charming, very funny, and fiercely protective of everyone. Her elite guard, all handpicked by Annwyl, were sweet, vicious fighters and blindingly loyal to their queen.
G.A. Aiken (About a Dragon (Dragon Kin, #2))
If I lived by some code, my actions would become predictable. The enemy would take advantage of this and I’d be killed. An honorable death doesn’t exist. Death is death. But it’s funny that survival and revenge require the same thing: no honor codes, no supposed higher principles to aspire to, no mercy
Frank Beddor (Seeing Redd)
Are you kidding me? The last time I saw a face like yours, I fed it a banana.
TheFlamingPopsicle (Better Than Revenge)
I’m looking for Fat Hoochie Prom Queen,” I declared. He did not respond. “It’s a book,” I said. “Not a person.” Nope. Nothing. “At the very least, can you tell me the author?” He looked at his computer, as if it had some way to speak to me without any typing on his part. “Are you wearing headphones that I can’t see?” I asked. He scratched at the inside of his elbow. “Do you know me?” I persisted. “Did I grind you to a pulp in kindergarten, and are you now getting sadistic pleasure from this petty revenge? Stephen Little, is that you? Is it? I was much younger then, and foolish to have nearly drowned you in that water fountain. In my defense, your prior destruction of my book report was a completely unwarranted act of aggression.” Finally, a response. The information desk clerk shook his shaggy head. “No?” I said. “I am not allowed to disclose the location of Fat Hoochie Prom Queen,” he explained. “Not to you. Not to anyone. And while I am not Stephen Little, you should be ashamed of what you did to him. Ashamed.
Rachel Cohn (Dash & Lily's Book of Dares (Dash & Lily, #1))
Tex looked at Duke “She’s got spunk,” he said. “Where I come from, we call it sass,” Duke replied. “Where I come from, we call it attitude,” Smithie put in. “Oh for the love of God, whatever you call it, are you in or are you out?” Jules clipped.
Kristen Ashley (Rock Chick Revenge (Rock Chick, #5))
Huevos up. Swing up to the window, swing back to Al B. Hall, who says, "Bless you," and would I get him a bottle of Satan's Red-Hot Revenge for the eggs? Sure thing, Pastor.
Joan Bauer (Hope Was Here)
It's funny, most people think that revenge is a passionate affair, driven by rage and pain. But it can't be. Feelings such as those make you weak. They overwrite thought and cause reckless impulses that lead to poor decisions.
Carrie Ryan (Daughter of Deep Silence)
I started to crawl off; then I remembered my leftover pizza, and I peeled off the salami, pepperoni, and anchovies and placed them on the CD tray (whicn no one used these days with flash drives around)on Boone's computer. I hit the close button and watched the smelly part of my delicious dinner slide away. Boone would have a great time wondering 'where's that smell coming from?
Duffy Brown (Iced Chiffon (Consignment Shop Mystery, #1))
You shut your door to these poor women," he said so they could hear him, "and you'll answer for it the rest of your lives. You won't sleep. You'll choke on drinks. The food you eat'll block up your bowels and you'll die of your own shit.
Glendon Swarthout (The Homesman)
Revenge of the Giant Grill Man.
Joan Bauer (Hope Was Here)
You’re gorgeous. You’re sexy. You’re … asking me to cut that dress off you? I’m praying for strength.
Cristin Harber (Revenge (Delta, #2))
Justice is about harmony... revenge is about you making yourself feel better.
COMPTON GAGE
You tell your brother he's gonna pay for that car in silver.
Neal Shusterman (Red Rider's Hood (Dark Fusion, #2))
This many pretty girls in the room, all watching you boys like you’re a wedding-reception one-night stand waiting to happen—
Cristin Harber (Revenge (Delta, #2))
Marlowe said that the food combined with anonymity was like a narcotic.
Sarai Walker (Dietland: a wickedly funny, feminist revenge fantasy novel of one fat woman's fight against sexism and the beauty industry)
Funny, I think I’ve finally had my fill of revenge now. And with luck, I’ve at last started you out on the road to your own recovery.
Kanae Minato (Confessions)
This sunball-watching person doesn't fit with my mental image of the Shadow of Death.' 'Sorry to disappoint.' Hunt's turn to lift a brow. 'What do you think I do with my spare time?' 'I don't know. I assumed you cursed at the stars and brooded and plotted revenge on all your enemies.
Sarah J. Maas (House of Earth and Blood (Crescent City, #1))
Eros mumbled something. "I'm sorry?" said Aphrodite. "Whatwouldjesusdo." "What would Jesus do?" said Aphrodite. "Let me tell you something. Jesus was a very good boy. He would do exactly what his mother told him to." "But-" "Jesus was supposed to be a god, right?" said Aphrodite. "Ergo, he did revenge. All gods do revenge." "Not exactly. He said you should turn the other-" "What else does your Jesus say?" Aphrodite interrupted. "I thought you didn't care." "Let me see," said Aphrodite. "I remember. 'Honour thy father and mother'." "One, that wasn't Jesus. And two, it's hard to honour your father when there are so many candidates for who he might be." "That's not very nice," said Aphrodite. "You know who your father is. It's your cousin Ares." [...] "I wish the Virgin Mary was my mother," grumbled Eros eventually.
Marie Phillips (Gods Behaving Badly)
But the funny thing about all this, Marcus didn’t know Louise had been looking at him for a week already. If he had, I doubt if he would have wanted Louise. Because, you see, he wanted her only for revenge. He wanted to get to her, not her getting to him. He wanted to clown for her, he probably would have stood on his head for her, probably would have walked on his hands for her—until he got into those drawers. Then that would have been the end. If they lynched him after, it wouldn’t have meant a thing. Because, you see, they couldn’t take away what he had got. No, he probably would have laughed at his lynchers.
Ernest J. Gaines (Of Love and Dust)
Groin' is a funny word," Babe said quietly. "I don't know the German for it, but I'm sure you do." He began to talk more quickly then, because he could tell Szell was starting to die. "Oh, maybe you didn't see it in the papers, but they've made this fabulous theological discovery, do you know what they've found? People don't go to heaven or hell, they all go to one spot first, sort of a way station, and that's were things happen, because, you probably won't believe this, but some people on this earth have been known to do bad things to other people, innocent people, and at this way station, the innocent people wait, and then when their savager comes, they get to exact a little portion of revenge. God says revenge is good for the soul. Do you know who's waiting for you, Mr. Szell? All the Jews. They're all there, and you know what else? They've all got drills, like you used on me - remember how you said how wonderful it was, anyone could learn that, how to use them? Well, they have and they're waiting, and I don't know about you, but I think it's gonna be terrific." Szell was almost dead now, but Babe just had time to get it in. Have a swell eternity," Babe said...
William Goldman (Marathon Man)
If you eat healthy food and exercise, then it doesn’t really matter what size you are.
Sarai Walker (Dietland: a wickedly funny, feminist revenge fantasy novel of one fat woman's fight against sexism and the beauty industry)
Then I’d eat something bad. I couldn’t stand hunger. Hunger is what death must feel like.
Sarai Walker (Dietland: a wickedly funny, feminist revenge fantasy novel of one fat woman's fight against sexism and the beauty industry)
To survive my job I needed the callousness of an emergency room doctor
Sarai Walker (Dietland: a wickedly funny, feminist revenge fantasy novel of one fat woman's fight against sexism and the beauty industry)
Sooner or later, each of us reaches that point where the evil ghost that's been stalking us since childhood is trying to murder everyone we care about
J.L. Bryan (The Keeper (Ellie Jordan, Ghost Trapper #8))
wondered what it was like for the tiny Latina immigrant to spend her days in this basement room, her face in women’s vulvas and asses, making perfect Hitler mustaches. The American dream, I thought.
Sarai Walker (Dietland: a wickedly funny, feminist revenge fantasy novel of one fat woman's fight against sexism and the beauty industry)
It’s not right that women should cover themselves from our gaze. Who has the problem here: women, who have committed the heinous crime of merely existing, or men, who choose to objectify women? If the sight of uncovered women offends you, stay at home or wear a blindfold. Better yet, pour acid into your eyes. Then you’ll never have to see anything that offends you again.” Was New York next? That’s what everyone wanted to know.
Sarai Walker (Dietland: a wickedly funny, feminist revenge fantasy novel of one fat woman's fight against sexism and the beauty industry)
me to see a therapist and take Y ——. The medication took away my sadness and replaced it with something else—not happiness, but more like a low dull hum, a weak radio frequency of feeling that couldn’t be turned up or down.
Sarai Walker (Dietland: a wickedly funny, feminist revenge fantasy novel of one fat woman's fight against sexism and the beauty industry)
Fundamentalists who demand that their creation myths be inserted into science classes tend to look at you funny when you suggest that likewise, we could insert passages from On the Origin of Species into the book of Genesis.
Peter Watts (Peter Watts Is An Angry Sentient Tumor: Revenge Fantasies and Essays)
The other good thing was that I had enough rank to strong-arm Marjit into confessing that she'd been the one who'd told everything to Pa about my first invisibility cap, which was how Pa knew to come steal it. Unfortunately, since my rank in the surface world hung off Pa's, I did NOT have enough rank to take him to task for stealing my cap. So I just put him to sleep during a fancy dinner, so that he went facedown into the sour soup. Just the once. It eased my ire terrifically.
Merrie Haskell (The Princess Curse)
All right, she thought I was a funny little geezer, but my charred Phaethon had impressed her, I was very obviously available, and she was out for revenge. What makes Greek tragedies great is that this brand of psychological nonsense doesn't enter into it at all. I had wanted to tell her that too, but unfortunately conversations consist for the most part of things one does not say. We are descendents, we do not have mythical lives, but psychological ones. And we know everything, we are always our own chorus.
Cees Nooteboom (The Following Story)
This is Glesca.... Any time you're confused, take a wee minute to remind yourself of that inescapable fact: this is Glesca. We don't do subtle, we don't do nuanced, we don't do conspiracy. We do pish-heid bampot bludgeoning his girlfriend to death in a fit of paranoid rage induced by forty-eight hours straight on the batter. We do coked-up neds jumping on a guy's heid outside a nightclub because he looked at them funny. We do drug-dealing gangster rockets shooting other drug-dealing gangster rockets as comeback for something almost identical a fortnight ago. We do bam-on-bam. We do tit-for-tat, score-settling, feuds, jealousy, petty revenge. We do straightforward. We do obvious. We do cannaemisswhodunit. When you hear hoofbeats on Sauchiehall Street, it's gaunny be a horse, no' a zebra...'.
Christopher Brookmyre (Where the Bodies Are Buried (Jasmine Sharp and Catherine McLeod, #1))
To tell the truth and undo some of the damage that Mama did, if that’s possible. My family made a fortune exploiting vulnerable people and now that fortune is mine. It’s ill gotten, of course, and it weighs on me. Sometimes at night when I think of it I can’t breathe.
Sarai Walker (Dietland: a wickedly funny, feminist revenge fantasy novel of one fat woman's fight against sexism and the beauty industry)
She gasped as he captured the picture from her hands, “Pining over what could have been? Funny, if you hadn’t spread your legs for anyone with a pulse, you might be standing here married to the other Karasphalous brother right now,” Nikos growled as he placed the photo back in its original spot and turned just as Adriana's hand made contact with the side of his smug face. “Go to hell!” she spat as she grasp the long folds of her dress and stormed toward the master bedroom like the hounds of hell were on her heels. Just before slamming the door behind her she heard him bark, “I’m already there!
Julie Garver (The Greek Tycoon's Revenge)
Of course- I loathe him. I can't stand the sight of him or the sound of his voice, and I want to get out of here before he returns so I never have to see him again.' 'Let's do that then. Although I would love to wait until he returns so that I can stab him in the heart and then cook it over a fire. But I suppose I can do that another day,' Lala mused.
Stephanie Garber (A Curse for True Love (Once Upon a Broken Heart, #3))
He was the only male on a staff of twenty-one white women; he was also Latino and gay, a triple hit of diversity. He told me once that he became irritable and moody at certain times of the month, prone to outbursts of unprovoked rage, caught up in the synchronized menstrual cycles of the women in the office and pulled along for the hormonal ride by mistake
Sarai Walker (Dietland: a wickedly funny, feminist revenge fantasy novel of one fat woman's fight against sexism and the beauty industry)
It's funny, most people think that revenge is a passionate affair, driven by rage and pain. But it can't be. Feelings such as those make you weak. They overwrite thought and cause reckless impulses that lead to poor decisions. If anything, revenge is the absence of emotion. It's pure, calculated thought stripped bare of entangling emotions. It's cold, deliberate action.
Carrie Ryan (Daughter of Deep Silence)
You know what they say about living well as the best revenge. I did well because it was the one defense I had. Escape has been the motivating force in my life. Getting away from him, getting away from her, putting that household behind me. The funny this is, I haven't moved an inch, and the harder I run, the faster I keep slipping back to them...There are laws for everything except the harm families do.
Sue Grafton (D is for Deadbeat (Kinsey Millhone, #4))
The mummy felt betrayed, like when a spouse agrees on a movie you decided to watch only to put on a different movie as you go to the bathroom, having to sit through the whole movie and not argue about it because it’s not worth fighting over, just boiling up inside and remembering it for later when they want their coffee with half-and-half, knowing that you put 2-percent milk in there and they won’t know, but you will.
J.S. Mason (The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats)
I have added bonemeal to my bread,' Aslog says. 'Ground just as fine as any grain. My loaves will be more famed than ever before, though not for the same reason. And if I served Queen Gliten the bones of her own consort, at her own table, what of it? It is no more than she deserves, and unlike her, I do pay my debts.' He snorts, and she looks at him in surprise. 'Well,' he says, 'that's awful, but a little bit funny, too. I mean, did she have him with butter or jam?' 'You always did laugh when you would have been better served staying silent,' she says with a glower. 'I recall that now.' Cardan doesn't add that he laughs when he is nervous.
Holly Black (How the King of Elfhame Learned to Hate Stories (The Folk of the Air, #3.5))
I know it’s late, but could you find a book for me? It’s called The Slavs: The Study of Pagan Traditions by Osvintsev.” Barabas sighed dramatically. “Kate, you make me despair. Let’s try that again from the top, except this time pretend you are an alpha.” “I don’t need a lecture. I just need the book.” “Much better. Little more growl in the voice?” “Barabas!” “And we’re there. Congratulations! There is hope for you yet. I will look into the book.” I hung up the phone and glared at Curran. “What’s so funny?” “You.” “Laugh while you can. You have to sleep eventually, and then I’ll take my revenge.” “You’re such a violent woman. Always with the threats. You should look into some meditation techniques . . .” I jumped on the couch and put the Beast Lord into an arm-lock.
Ilona Andrews (Magic Slays (Kate Daniels, #5))
Throughout history, there have been many wars fought for many different reasons. Some reasons are very serious, like politics, power, economics, or just revenge. Some reasons are as simple as a difference in opinion or just not liking each other. Then there are reasons that are so stupid you wonder what was going through the minds of people at the time. According to “The Vintage News,” the “War of the Bucket” was fought between two Italian city-states, Bologna and Modena, in 1325. To fully understand why two city-states went to war over a bucket, you need to understand the history behind it. From the 12th to the 14th century, the different powers of Europe fought a series of wars, which are known as the Guelph and Ghibelline Wars. During that time, the two Italian city-states of Modena and Bologna both took opposing sides. In 1325, a group of soldiers from Modena snuck into the city of Bologna and stole a bucket from the city’s central well. It wasn’t the fact that they stole the bucket that angered the people of Bologna. They were angered by the fact that their enemies were able to sneak into their city undetected and steal something. They saw it as dishonorable and demanded the return of their bucket. Modena refused to do so. At this point, both of them should have realized that a fight over a bucket was a bit silly, but they didn’t. Bologna mobilized its forces, and so did Modena. Modena was severely outnumbered during the war, and the Bolognese had the high ground. Even with these circumstances, Modena still managed to win the war and steal a second bucket from the city for good measure. This is a funny tale, but let’s not forget that 2,000 people died in this war and the Modenese soldiers destroyed most of the city of Bologna in the process. They even destroyed a sluice on the local river so that the Bolognese had no need for a bucket because they couldn’t get water anymore.
Larry Baz (The Eye-Opening Facts: The Crazy and Amazing Stories Behind the World’s Most Interesting Facts)
Well, this is a fine mess you’ve gotten us into, Good Ava said into my ear. Oo, we’re in Luke’s bed, Bad Ava cooed into my other one. Shit.
Kristen Ashley (Rock Chick Revenge (Rock Chick, #5))
Hopkit held up his paw. Although the infection had gone, his foot was limp and flat, and he had no feeling in it. “But how can I be a warrior with this?” “You can walk on it, can’t you?” Hawkheart wasn’t giving a drop of sympathy. “I can limp.” Hawkheart snorted. “If you can limp, you can walk. If you can walk, you can hunt.” “What about fighting?” Hopkit persisted. “What if I can’t fight?” “Then you’ll just have to argue your enemies to death.” Hawkheart settled onto his side and half closed his eyes. “You’re great at arguing.
Erin Hunter (Tallstar's Revenge (Warriors Super Edition, #6))
What? Why are you making the glee nose? The death of my world is funny? The final vengeance of my people? I will kill you.
Jackson Lanzing (Joyride Vol. 2)
John does a funny thing in traffic. If someone cuts him off or veers in and out of his lane and he ends up next to them at a stoplight, he cranes his neck sideways and glares at them. It’s as if he’s scolding them with his facial expression, like they’ll sense his eyes on them and think, Why is that man looking at me? Oh, it must have been the way I was tailing his car back there. What a mistake I’ve made! The regrets! How will I live with myself? In reality, the other driver never notices. John is wasting his energy, wanting some kind of revenge he’s not going to get. It’s one
Mary Laura Philpott (Bomb Shelter: Love, Time, and Other Explosives)
But Damien just laughs, tipping his head back. He finds me . . . funny.
Morgan Elizabeth (Tis the Season for Revenge (Seasons of Revenge, #1))
I know it’s late, but could you find a book for me? It’s called The Slavs: Study of Pagan Tradition by Osvintsev.” Barabas sighed dramatically. “Kate, you make me despair. Let’s try that again from the top, except this time pretend you are an alpha.” “I don’t need a lecture. I just need the book.” “Much better. Little more growl in the voice?” “Barabas!” “And we’re there. Congratulations! There is hope for you yet. I will look into the book.” I hung up the phone and glared at Curran. “What’s so funny?” “You.” “Laugh while you can. You have to sleep eventually, and then I’ll take my revenge.” “You’re such a violent woman. Always with the threats. You should look into some meditation techniques . . .” I jumped on the couch and put the Beast Lord into an armlock.
Ilona Andrews (Magic Slays (Kate Daniels, #5))
You have strength born of years of grief and anger... The strength of a man denied revenge.
COMPTON GAGE
Laughing at "Rapper's Delight"'s no revenge, and anyway it wasn't your idea, and anyway it's funny. Dean Street's another story, a realm of knowledge unapplicable here. You've just about finished leaving Dean Street, and Aeroman, behind. If this means avoiding the one who protected your ass all through junior high, the one you once ached to emulate, the one whose orbit you were happy just to swing in - if it means leaving the million-dollar kid's regular phone messages in Abraham's precise handwriting unreturned - that's a small price to pay for growing up, isn't it? This ain't no party, this ain't no disco, this ain't no foolin' around. It's the end, the end of the seventies.
Jonathan Lethem
The world says, “Gimme.” Jesus says, “Give.” The world says, “Take revenge.” Jesus says, “Turn the other cheek.” The world says, “Might makes right.” Jesus says, “When you’re weak, I’m strong.” The world says, “you can’t have enough.” Jesus says, “My grace is sufficient for you.” The world says, “Better watch out. God’s gonna getcha.” Jesus says, “I come to give you abundant life.” The world says, “God is dead. Angels we can handle, crystals we can handle, but God is dead.” Jesus says, “I am.” The world doesn’t have a clue.
Karen Scalf Linamen (Welcome to the Funny Farm: The All-True Misadventures of a Woman on the Edge)
The bomb went off in Laboratory Three in the Electrical Engineering Department at K University. Your bomb, detonated by your own hand. Funny—I think I’ve finally had my fill of revenge now. And with luck, I’ve at last started you out on the road to your own recovery.
Kanae Minato (Confessions)
To hold on to the hate for over a century, though, to hold it so close that they were willing to risk everything for revenge after all these years, reminded me of how important it was to let certain things go. Some things you just had to accept the loss and move on.
Brian Yansky (The Librarian and the Witch (Strangely Scary Funny #4))
but only after our own respective prides slowly melted away, like a lion family ice sculpture being left near those restaurant heaters that a maître d’ was going to have to blame a waiter for so she could keep her job and he could lose his as payback for him dumping her for the ice sculptor.
J.S. Mason (The Satyrist...And Other Scintillating Treats)
You always liked stories,' I remind him. 'You said you wanted to create sparks of stories. Well, the tale of a twin who murders her sister's betrothed is a good one, don't you think?
Holly Black (The Wicked King (The Folk of the Air, #2))
Scout.’ ‘Yes, boss. Off we go. To infinity and beyond!’ He was a good driver, good enough almost for her to relax. Almost. So, elderly aunt here we come, ready or not, Louise thought. The impostor aunt. The farce had grown more farcical. Except it wasn’t funny, but then farces rarely were in Louise’s opinion, she was drawn more to revenge tragedies. Patrick, surprisingly (or perhaps not), liked Restoration comedy. And Wagner. Should you marry a man who liked Wagner?
Kate Atkinson (When Will There Be Good News? (Jackson Brodie, #3))
He calls you naranja. It’s not because he thinks it’s funny that you like pink and hate the color orange, Abbie.” More blinking. “He’s calling you his soulmate when he says it.
Morgan Elizabeth (Tis the Season for Revenge (Seasons of Revenge, #1))
Bullying is about judging. It’s about establishing who is more worthy or important. The more powerful kids judge the less powerful kids. They judge them to be less valuable human beings, and they rub their faces in it on a daily basis. And it’s clear what the bullies get out of it. Like the boys in Sheri Levy’s study, they get a boost in self-esteem. It’s not that bullies are low in self-esteem, but judging and demeaning others can give them a self-esteem rush. Bullies also gain social status from their actions. Others may look up to them and judge them to be cool, powerful, or funny. Or may fear them. Either way, they’ve upped their standing. There’s a big dose of fixed-mindset thinking in the bullies: Some people are superior and some are inferior. And the bullies are the judges. Eric Harris, one of the Columbine shooters, was their perfect target. He had a chest deformity, he was short, he was a computer geek, and he was an outsider, not from Colorado. They judged him mercilessly. When we hear about acts of school violence, we usually think it’s only bad kids from bad homes who could ever take matters into their own hands. But it’s startling how quickly average, everyday kids with a fixed mindset think about violent revenge. In our study, the students with the growth mindset were not as prone to see the bullying as a reflection of who they were. Instead, they saw it as a psychological problem of the bullies, a way for the bullies to gain status or charge their self-esteem: “I’d think that the reason he is bothering me is probably that he has problems at home or at school with his grades.” Or “They need to get a life—not just feel good if they make me feel bad.” Their plan was often designed to educate the bullies: “I would really actually talk to them. I would ask them questions (why are they saying all of these things and why are they doing all of this to me).” Or “Confront the person and discuss the issue; I would feel like trying to help them see they are not funny.” The students with the growth mindset also strongly agreed that: “I would want to forgive them eventually” and “My number one goal would be to help them become better people.
Carol S. Dweck (Mindset: The New Psychology of Success)
The four guys were just staring at me—or Rome—their mouths a little unhinged. “Did she say that she set a building on fire?” Yael rasped. “And knocked someone out and stuffed them into a cupboard?” Aros, this time. “And set a bunch of panteras free.” Coen was scratching his head. “That’s my girl.” Siret was the only one who seemed pleased by my overload of information. “Rome is messing with us.” Yael was shaking his head. “This is too fucked-up.” “I’m not.” I tried to sound as convincing as possible, but Yael only shook his head and stepped closer to Rome, his fists clenched. “Cut this shit out right now,” he seethed, “or I’ll hit you so hard she’ll have to start calling you Crushed.” “That’s not very nice—” I started to say, but apparently Yael wasn’t in the mood for pacifications. He pulled his arm back and slammed it into the side of Rome’s face. I couldn’t feel the actual blow, but my vision swam to the side, and then suddenly I was staring at the sky—I hadn’t paid much attention to where we were, but the sky was bluer than blue, the clouds all happy and perfect. They were still in Topia. “You hit me!” I yelled at the sky, and it was almost humorous to hear Rome’s deep voice so full of feminine outrage. “Oh.” Yael sounded genuinely shocked. “It really is her. Rome just dropped like a bag of rocks.” “He’s still not moving,” Coen noted, his head appearing in my field of vision. “You okay in there, dweller-baby?” “He hit me!” I repeated. “I think she’s fine.” Yael’s head appeared beside Coen’s. “Rome’s head is too damn thick for any of the pain to reach her—right, Willa-toy?” “You still hit me!” This time, it was a growl, and Siret’s head popped up beside Yael’s. “You should get revenge,” he suggested helpfully. “You have so many muscles right now. You’re the God of Strength right now. The possibilities are endless.” “No they aren’t,” I said, “Rome is going to wake up soon. I don’t always black out for long. But you have a point.” I struggled to get back to my feet, but controlling Rome wasn’t so easy. His limbs were bigger than expected, and I accidently knocked over a low wooden table, up-ending a bowl of fruit and sending apples and oranges scattering over the marble floor. When I was finally standing, I focussed on Yael, and tried to swing a punch at him. Unfortunately, I miscalculated the distance to his face, and Rome’s fist connected with the pillar just to the right of Yael’s head. I watched in fascination as the stone cracked beneath Rome’s fist, caving in around his hand. I was so fascinated that I didn’t even realise I was stuck until I tried to pull his fist back again and it wouldn’t budge. “Well … this is awkward.” Yael was smirking, turned to the side so that he could see the fist I had embedded into the pillar.
Jane Washington (Seduction (Curse of the Gods, #3))
Funny - I think I’ve finally had my fill of revenge now. And with luck, I’ve at last started you out on the road to your own recovery.
Kanae Minato (Confessions)
That would be vandalism.
Lois McMaster Bujold (Falling Free (Vorkosigan Saga, #4))
Hello, umbrella girl.” I chuckled remembering our first meeting. She was walking down the stairs from her house, it was raining, she elegantly spread her umbrella, her friends were on the sides, who followed her moves. All of them slowly walked past me and my male friends, rolling their eyes and smirking, we were getting wet in the rain while they were protected from the icy drops from the sky. “Wanna be friends?” She repeated her proposal again and pierced me with her dark brown eyes. “Yes.” I simply answered and a new connection had been formed between her and me.
Dari A. Malaunt (Horns of Revenge (Horns Unveiled Book 1))
It is quite beautiful, that level of death, although to some it could be considered nightmarish. Whatda see old pal? Do you see death? Is he waiting at your doorstep for you and ya kin? Does he carrya scythe? Is he hooded like the healers? Or are you fortunate enough to gaze upon his face? Do you see an old, wrinkled man there? Eyes the only thing darker than his skin, with his hair in stark contrast? You kow what they say, black isn’t a colour, but a shade. Void of all colour, just like my pal there is void of all life. Or do you see a young man hell bent on revenge, trying to bring a loved one back from the grave? Trying so hard he will put every living soul in the ground to lift his love out of it? Is he pissed off that he can grant death, but the one thing he wants, life, is out of his grasp? Does he speak to you at night? When you sleep, with all the lights out, does he glide silently to your bedside and touch you? Does it hurt? Or do you not feel anything, just close your eyes and never open them again? Do you fear death, Steven?
Finn Eccleston (The Community: A Funny and Disturbing Conspiracy Mystery Novel (Project M Book 1))
there was just a game. They had killed someone and they thought it was funny. How had she allowed that to happen? How had
Martina Cole (Get Even: A dark thriller of murder, mystery and revenge)
This might have been a funny story if it weren't for the fact that people need a little loving and, God, sometimes it's sad all the shit they have to go through to find some.
Richard Brautigan (Revenge of the Lawn: Stories 1962-1970)
She stuck out in Argameri like the proverbial dick in the hotdog bowl.
Eden Hudson (Jubal Van Zandt & the Revenge of the Bloodslinger (Jubal Van Zandt #1))
The tea was brought. Mumbling her thanks, she took the cup in her hands, not bothering with the saucer. She drank it all without tasting it. “What are you using to dress the wound?” West asked, looking over the collection of bottles on the table. “Glycerin and disinfecting drops, and a layer of oiled muslin.” “And you’re keeping him packed with ice.” “Yes, and trying to make him take a sip of water at least once every hour. But he won’t . . .” Garrett paused as a swoosh went through her head. She closed her eyes—a mistake—the entire room seemed to tilt. “What is it?” she heard West ask. His voice seemed to come from very far away. “Dizzy,” she mumbled. “Need more tea, or . . .” Her lashes fluttered upward, and she had to fight to keep her eyes open. West was in front of her, easing the china cup from her lax fingers before it could drop. His assessing gaze ran over her, and it was then that she realized what he’d done. “What was in my tea?” she asked in a panic, trying to rise from her chair. “What did you put in it?” The room revolved. She felt his arms close around her. “Nothing but a pinch of valerian,” West said calmly. “Which wouldn’t have had nearly this much of an effect if you weren’t ready to drop from exhaustion.” “I’m going to kill you,” she cried. “Yes, but to do that you’ll have to have a nice little rest first, won’t you?” Garrett tried to strike him with her fist, but he ducked easily beneath her flailing arm, and picked her up as her knees buckled. “Let go! I have to take care of him—he needs me—” “I can manage the basics of nursing him while you sleep.” “No, you can’t,” Garrett said weakly, and was horrified to hear a sob breaking from her throat. “Your patients all have four legs. H-he only has two.” “Which means he’ll be half the trouble,” West said reasonably. Garrett writhed with helpless rage. Ethan was on his deathbed, and this man was making light of the situation. He contained her struggles with maddening ease. As West carried her along the hallway, Garrett desperately tried to stop crying. Her eyes were on fire. Her head throbbed and ached, and it had become so heavy that she had to rest it on his shoulder. “There, now,” she heard him murmur. “It’s only for a few hours. When you awaken, you’ll have any revenge you want.” “Going to dissect you,” she sobbed, “into a million pieces—” “Yes,” West soothed, “just think about which instrument you’ll start with. Perhaps that two-sided scalpel with the funny handle.” He brought her into a pretty bedroom with flowered paper on the walls. “Martha,” he called. “Both of you. Come see to Dr. Gibson.
Lisa Kleypas (Hello Stranger (The Ravenels, #4))
For the first time in recent memory, Caleb wanted something other than revenge. He wanted the girl. He wanted Livvie. He knew her name now, but it was the least of what he now knew. He knew all kinds of things about her--too much maybe. She wore shapeless clothing to school because she wanted her mother to love her. Her eyes were sad because she knew her mother didn't. She had brothers and sisters. She felt responsible for them and jealous of them. She was funny, and shy, but also fierce and brave. Her first kiss had been a disaster. She'd grown up without anyone to protect her. And no one but Caleb had brought her physical pleasure. Livvie was a survivor. That much he'd known, but what he hadn't known was what she'd had to survive. She deserved better. Better than them and certainly better than him. He'd seen it in her eyes and her manner, but he had tried not to know why. He had wanted her nameless. He wanted to forget she had ever had a past, a history, dreams and hopes and all of those other things that made her ... Livvie.
C.J. Roberts (Captive in the Dark (The Dark Duet, #1))
I was about to start breaking out the "bloody hells!" and I wasn't even British! See! She was driving me crazy! I was officially changing nationalities! Her hand slipped. I swear it had to have slipped because she was actually now almost cupping a feel! OOOOOOH CANADA!!!
Rachel Van Dyken (The Consequence of Revenge (Consequence, #2))
That’s ridiculous,” Christopher said. “It is as if one was bitten by a duck and years later one shot a completely different duck and ate it for dinner, and called that revenge.
Cassandra Clare (Chain of Gold (The Last Hours, #1))