Retail Humor Quotes

We've searched our database for all the quotes and captions related to Retail Humor. Here they are! All 17 of them:

It was February sixth: eight days until Valentine's Day. I was dateless, as usual, deep in the vice grip of unrequited love. It was bad enough not having a boyfriend for New Year's Eve. Now I had to cope with Valentine datelessness, feeling consummate social pressure from every retailer in America who stuck hearts and cupids in their windows by January second to rub it in.
Joan Bauer (Thwonk)
(Eve)"Hold on. You have to give them a gift for moving?" "Uh-huh. Plus they're shacking, so it should be a couple thing." She (Mavis) ate another canape, fed on to Leonardo. "Why does there have to be a gift for every damn thing?" Eve complained. "Retail conspiracy." Roarke patter her knee. "I bet it is," Eve said darkly. "I just bet it is.
J.D. Robb (Visions in Death (In Death, #19))
Retail therapy—usually one of my first resorts—wasn’t working; I felt like a cat that smelled pit bull.
M.L.N. Hanover (Vicious Grace (The Black Sun's Daughter, #3))
The smell of new office supplies is so satisfying while being kicked out of Staples for inappropriate behavior with a file folder is so embarrassing.
Ryan Lilly (Write like no one is reading)
Could dump two Chinee down in one of our maria and they would get rich selling rocks to each other while raising twelve kids. Then a Hindu would sell retail stuff he got from them wholesale--below cost at a fat profit. We got along.
Robert A. Heinlein
As a result of these news stories, millions of people must have become aware of "niggardly," who otherwise would never have heard it, let alone thought to use it. If this is right, and the word has a new currency, it is probably not the currency I would wish for. The word's new lease of life is probably among manufacturers and retailers of sophomoric humor. I bet that even as I write, some adolescent boys, in the stairwell of some high school somewhere in America, are accusing each other of being niggardly, and sniggering at their own outrageous wit. I bet … Wait a minute. Sniggering? Oh, my God …
John Derbyshire
My poor Eunice looked so tired when she huffed off the bus with her many bags that I nearly tackled her in a rejuvenating embrace, but I was careful not to make a scene, waving my roses and champagne at the armed men to prove that I had enough Credit to afford Retail, and then kissed her passionately on one cheek (she smelled of flight and moisturizer), then on the straight, thin, oddly non-Asian nose, then the other cheek, then back to the nose, then once more the first cheek, following the curve of freckles backward and forward, marking her nose like a bridge to be crossed twice. The champagne bottle fell out of my hands, but, whatever futuristic garbage it was made of, it didn't break.
Gary Shteyngart (Super Sad True Love Story)
Well, I can't give you a retailed prescription of the guy
Slip aka Mugsy aka Terence Aloysius Mahoney The Bowery Boys
The small stores are holding the one card that large retailers cannot, personal service. A clean bathroom, lounge chairs, and a sympathetic ear concerning weight gain, sagging skin, and "batwing" arms round it all off. C.L. McManus, Adventures in Small Business
C.L. McManus (Adventures in Small Business: The surprising humor and realities in owning and running a small retail store.)
Owning a small business is like getting married. You're in it for the long haul, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer. And like marriage, there's a learning curve. You learn it's best to keep your mouth shut more often than not.
C.L. McManus (Adventures in Small Business: The surprising humor and realities in owning and running a small retail store.)
Running a small business is a lot like spinning a roulette wheel. You can win big, you could lose everything, or maybe you'll do ok. The problem is, even after you've landed on a good space, you MUST take another spin at the wheel. On a particular day in March 2020, the wheel landed on Covid-19.
C.L. McManus (Adventures in Small Business: The surprising humor and realities in owning and running a small retail store.)
My expectations were pretty conventional regarding opening, operating, and ultimately closing my small store. I certainly didn't expect much emotion, nor did I expect that the faces, voices and stories would stay with me a lifetime, but they will. In reality, I ran the scale of emotions. Every significant interaction changed me. Though you can say that about most anything in life, these moments combined were, for me, truly "life-changing." My lifetime of annoyingly repetitive prayers was for exactly what I was to receive by operating that little store. I had an about-face with confidence, and although my patience will probably never be perfect, it went from a two to maybe a seven?
C.L. McManus (Adventures in Small Business: The surprising humor and realities in owning and running a small retail store.)
The tears the laughs the lessons learned The products bought and then returned The skin that was thin Is now like buckskin A degree in resilience well-earned
C.L. McManus (Adventures in Small Business: The surprising humor and realities in owning and running a small retail store.)
He tips his head to the side and grins. “That’s too bad. It’s lonely on this side of the store,” he says and glances at the register beside us. “It’s lonely over there too,” I say honestly, thinking of the lack of real connection between me and Camilla. Blaine’s eyes light with humor, and I smack a hand over my mouth as I realize I said that out loud. He leans closer to me and whispers, “We’ll both survive somehow.
Kayla Krantz (The OCD Games)
Jack was excellent at his job as long as he stuck to Mr Lemon’s instructions, ‘Always be nice to the customers, even if some of them are arrogant assholes.
Jim Lowe (New Reform (New Reform Quartet #1))
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