“
I realized right then and there, in that hallway, that I wanted no other... I became the man she needed me to be because she had sense enough to have requirements-standards that she needed in her relationship in order to make the relationship work for her.
She knew she wanted a monogamous relationship-a partnership with a man who wanted to be a dedicated husband and father. She also knew this man had to be faithful, love God, and be willing to do what it took to keep this family together. On a smaller scale she also made it clear that she expected to be treated like a lady at every turn-I'm talking opening car doors for her, pulling out her seat when she's ready to sit at the table, coming correct on anniversary, Mother's Day, and birthday gifts, keeping the foul talk to a minimum. These requirements are important to her because they lay out a virtual map of what I need to do to make sure she gets what she needs and wants. After all, it's universal knowledge that when mama is happy, everybody is happy. And it is my sole mission in life to make sure Marjorie is happy.
”
”
Steve Harvey (Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment)
“
Those monumental anniversary celebrations aren’t what ultimately determine the actual direction of our marriage. Rather, it’s the here and now. It’s those daily decisions we make individually and together that influence how our relationship actually fares in the long run
”
”
Ashleigh Slater
“
There are lots of real reasons to decide to leave something or someone, but there are lots of other reasons that are less valid and less real and less about a relationship than our own minds: Fear (of screwing up, of being left, of not being good enough), restlessness, resistance to growing up, PMS, not knowing how to live without drama, fearing that you're getting happy, and happiness is boring.
The thing that scared me the most was the knowledge that if I stayed, something was going to change, and that something was probably me. I didn't know what changed me would look like, or if I would like her more or less than I already did. Would I still recognize myself? Would I still be myself?
”
”
Ännä White (Mended: Thoughts on Life, Love, and Leaps of Faith)
“
I shall ask into my shell only those friends with whom I can be completely honest. I find I am shedding hypocrisy in human relationships. What a rest that will be! The most exhausting thing in life, I have discovered, is being insincere. That is why so much of social life is exhausting; one is wearing a mask. I have shed my mask.
”
”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh (Gift from the Sea: 70th Anniversary Edition)
“
my heart when I
stared at you
beat irregularly
and jagged
”
”
Lori Jenessa Nelson
“
There is never a right time to break someone's heart. And anyone with even a microgram of sensitivity in his or her body will agonise for an age over that timing. Only problem is there is always some reason not to make someone unhappy. The day a relationship end, if that relationship was at all important to the suckers involved, becomes as important an anniversary as a wedding day or birthday.
Obviously, the average person doesn't want to kick someone they once loved while that person is down.
It's not just hard times when someone is down that become obstacles to making your getaway. After times of bereavement, unemployment and general unhappiness, those events that should be happy ones also make some times off limits for the eager would- be dumper. Christmas, birthdays, Easter all impossible. A clever person with a sensitive lover that they sense is not quite as into them as he or she used to be, could starve off the inevitable for years by carefully spacing out this crucial dates.
”
”
Chris Manby (Getting Personal (Red Dress Ink))
“
Except for the child, woman’s creation is so often invisible, especially today. We are working at an arrangement in form, of the myriad disparate details of housework, family routine and social life. It is a kind of intricate game of cat’s-cradle we manipulate on our fingers, with invisible threads. How can one point to this constant tangle of household chores, errands and fragments of human relationships, as a creation? It is hard even to think of it as purposeful activity, so much of it is automatic.
”
”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh (Gift from the Sea: 70th Anniversary Edition)
“
Everyone always talks about the effort you have to put into a romantic relationship or a marriage, but why would a friendship be any different? You are always going to be more important to me than some random boy I marry. (At least until the silver wedding anniversary.)
”
”
Allison Raskin (I Hate Everyone But You (I Hate Everyone But You, #1))
“
The Key to a successful and lasting Marriage Relationship is friendship
”
”
Manuel Corazzari
“
Forgiveness breaks the cycle! It doesn’t settle all the questions of blame, justice, or fairness, but it does allow relationships to heal and possibly start over.
”
”
John Baker (Celebrate Recovery 365 Daily Devotional, 35th Anniversary Edition: Healing from Hurts, Habits, and Hang-Ups (365 Devotions for Strength and Encouragement on the Road to Addiction Recovery))
“
Every Great Relationship Begins with the Perfect Meal
”
”
Sharon Esther Lampert (Sex on a Plate: FOOD AS FOREPLAY - 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY EDITION: The Cookbook of Everlasting Love - 5 Star Reviews)
“
Wedding Anniversity: A yearly event held in a life-long institution where the goal is not to graduate but to avoid being expelled.
”
”
Craig D. Lounsbrough
“
The best friendships do not require that anyone keep the upper hand.
”
”
Alan Loy McGinnis (The Friendship Factor: Revised, 25th Anniversary Edition)
“
Sophie has always thought that the first time you get the hysterical giggles with a new female friend is like the first time you sleep with a new boyfriend; it takes your relationship to a new more intimate level.
”
”
Liane Moriarty (The Last Anniversary)
“
But no matter what, you should never marry someone unless you believe you'll die- one way or another- without that person. They should feel more important to you than oxygen. Otherwise you'll suffocate, one damn anniversary at a time.
”
”
Karma Brown (Recipe for a Perfect Wife)
“
But it is the marriage relationship in which the changing pattern is shown up most clearly because it is the deepest one and the most arduous to maintain; and because, somehow, we mistakenly feel that failure to maintain its exact original pattern is tragedy.
”
”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh (Gift from the Sea: 70th Anniversary Edition)
“
If we could combine the teaching of the new scientific and technical achievements with equal emphasis on the interpersonal human relationships we could indeed make progress, but not if the new knowledge is conveyed to the student at the price of less and less interpersonal contact
”
”
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (Remembered Forever, On Grief And Grieving, Mindset Carol Dweck, The Art of Happiness 10th Anniversary 4 Books Collection Set)
“
We form these elaborate fantasies of romantic partnerships, Romeos and Majnus who we’ll spend our days and nights with in a passion of rose petals and fireworks, while discounting our non-romantic relationships (if such distinctions can even be made), often more enduring and authentic. We discard them as soon as some man comes along, flashing his teeth and brandishing his penis. But it’s always the friends in the end, isn’t it, who remain to pick up the pieces when the men have gone, leaving destruction in their wake? Still, only the romantic partner is taken seriously. Friends and family will not gather, ever, to celebrate my partnership with Naima—there will be no anniversaries or acknowledgments, no congratulatory cards, no celebratory ceremonies. And yet, it is this slow burning love of female friendship that actually keeps the world turning.
”
”
Ayesha Manazir Siddiqi (The Centre)
“
If we think of eroticism not as sex per se, but as a vibrant, creative energy, it’s easy to see that Stephanie’s erotic pulse is alive and well. But her eroticism no longer revolves around her husband. Instead, it’s been channeled to her children. There are regular playdates for Jake but only three dates a year for Stephanie and Warren: two birthdays, hers and his, and one anniversary. There is the latest in kids’ fashion for Sophia, but only college sweats for Stephanie. They rent twenty G-rated movies for every R-rated movie. There are languorous hugs for the kids while the grown-ups must survive on a diet of quick pecks. This brings me to another point. Stephanie gets tremendous physical pleasure from her children. Let me be perfectly clear here: she knows the difference between adult sexuality and the sensuousness of caring for small children. She, like most mothers, would never dream of seeking sexual gratification from her children. But, in a sense, a certain replacement has occurred. The sensuality that women experience with their children is, in some ways, much more in keeping with female sexuality in general. For women, much more than for men, sexuality exists along what the Italian historian Francesco Alberoni calls a “principle of continuity.” Female eroticism is diffuse, not localized in the genitals but distributed throughout the body, mind, and senses. It is tactile and auditory, linked to smell, skin, and contact; arousal is often more subjective than physical, and desire arises on a lattice of emotion. In the physicality between mother and child lie a multitude of sensuous experiences. We caress their silky skin, we kiss, we cradle, we rock. We nibble their toes, they touch our faces, we lick their fingers, let them bite us when they’re teething. We are captivated by them and can stare at them for hours. When they devour us with those big eyes, we are besotted, and so are they. This blissful fusion bears a striking resemblance to the physical connection between lovers. In fact, when Stephanie describes the early rapture of her relationship with Warren—lingering gazes, weekends in bed, baby talk, toe-nibbling—the echoes are unmistakable. When she says, “At the end of the day, I have nothing left to give,” I believe her. But I also have come to believe that at the end of the day, there may be nothing more she needs. All this play activity and intimate involvement with her children’s development, all this fleshy connection, has captured Stephanie’s erotic potency to the detriment of the couple’s intimacy and sexuality. This is eros redirected. Her sublimated energy is displaced onto the children, who become the centerpiece of her emotional gratification.
”
”
Esther Perel (Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence)
“
That is how it was with them. A closeness, a rapport that was almost entire, except for these small niggling uncertainties which, most of the time, she [Janey Ashcroft] was able to ignore, but sometimes, like tonight, grew like balloons to such size and importance that she wondered how she was going to be able to cope with them.
['Anniversary']
”
”
Rosamunde Pilcher (A Place Like Home: Short Stories)
“
There was the sudden pleasure of having breakfast alone with the man one fell in love with. Here at the small table, are only two people facing each other. How the table at home has grown! And how distracting it is, with four or five children, a telephone ringing in the hall, two or three school buses to catch, not to speak of the commuter’s train. How all this separates one from one’s husband and clogs up the pure relationship. But sitting at a table alone opposite each other, what is there to separate one? Nothing but a coffee pot, corn muffins and marmalade. A simple enough pleasure, surely, to have breakfast alone with one’s husband, but how seldom married people in the midst of life achieve it.
”
”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh (Gift from the Sea: 70th Anniversary Edition)
“
Upon their meeting in New York in 1958: “We didn’t want to live together. We didn’t have any examples of what a good love relationship between two men could be. And there was always the problem of hiding so no one would know we were gay. There was no question that if I were known to be gay, living with another man, it would make it more difficult for me to get work as an actor.” - Alan Shayne, co-author, Double Life
”
”
Alan Shayne (Double Life: The Story of a Fifty Year Marriage)
“
Paul Bell in Mensa Magazine in 2002 (Mensa is the society of individuals with a high IQ, and their journal not surprisingly includes articles on the one thing that draws them together).56 Bell concluded: ‘Of 43 studies carried out since 1927 on the relationship between religious belief and one’s intelligence and/or educational level, all but four found an inverse connection. That is, the higher one’s intelligence or education level, the less one is likely to be religious or hold “beliefs” of any kind.
”
”
Richard Dawkins (The God Delusion: 10th Anniversary Edition)
“
The phrase was so simple and for most women, so generic. Any other female would have laughed off such a question from a boy she had no interest in. But in my case, it was a landmark moment in my life. Number 23 had gone where no other man had gone before.
Until then, my history with men had been volatile. Instead of a boyfriend or even a drunken prom date, my virginity was forfeited to a very disturbed, grown man while I was unconscious on a bathroom floor. The remnants of what could be considered high school relationships were blurry and drug infused. Even the one long-lasting courtship I held with Number 3 went without traditional dating rituals like Valentine’s Day, birthdays, anniversary gifts, or even dinner.
Into young adulthood, I was never the girl who men asked on dates. I was asked on many fucks. I was a pair of tits to cum on, a mouth to force a cock down, and even a playmate to spice up a marriage.
At twenty-four, I had slept with twenty-two men, gotten lustfully heated with countless more, but had never once been given flowers. With less than a handful of dates in my past, romance was something I accepted as not being in the cards for me. My personality was too strong, my language too foul, and my opinions too outspoken. No, I was not the girl who got asked out on dates and though that made me sad at times, I buried myself too deeply in productivity to dwell on it.
But, that day, Number 23 sparked a fuse. That question showed a glimmer of a simplistic sweetness that men never gave me. Suddenly he went from being some Army kid to the boyfriend I never had.
”
”
Maggie Georgiana Young (Just Another Number)
“
Don't count on me to take you in because I'm angry. I'm angry at you for leading us on such a song and dance all these years, not just these few years but all the years, skipping all those holidays and staying away from beach trips and missing Mom and Dad's thirtieth anniversary and their thirty-fifth and Jeannie's baby and not attending my wedding that time or even sending a card or calling to wish me well. But most of all Denny, most of all: I will never forgive you for consuming every last little drop of our parents' attention and leaving nothing for the rest of us.
”
”
Anne Tyler
“
Woman must come of age by herself. This is the essence of “coming of age”—to learn how to stand alone. She must learn not to depend on another, nor to feel she must prove her strength by competing with another. In the past, she has swung between these two opposite poles of dependence and competition, of Victorianism and Feminism. Both extremes throw her off balance; neither is the center, the true center of being a whole woman. She must find her true center alone. She must become whole. She must, it seems to me, as a prelude to any “two solitudes” relationship, follow the advice of the poet to become “world to oneself for another’s sake.
”
”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh (Gift from the Sea: 70th Anniversary Edition)
“
When you love someone you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity—in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern. The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now.
”
”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh (Gift from the Sea: 70th Anniversary Edition)
“
In Western culture today, you decide to get married because you feel an attraction to the other person. You think he or she is wonderful. But a year or two later—or, just as often, a month or two—three things usually happen. First, you begin to find out how selfish this wonderful person is. Second, you discover that the wonderful person has been going through a similar experience and he or she begins to tell you how selfish you are. And third, though you acknowledge it in part, you conclude that your spouse’s selfishness is more problematic than your own. This is especially true if you feel that you’ve had a hard life and have experienced a lot of hurt. You say silently, “OK, I shouldn’t do that—but you don’t understand me.” The woundedness makes us minimize our own selfishness. And that’s the point at which many married couples arrive after a relatively brief period of time. So what do you do then? There are at least two paths to take. First, you could decide that your woundedness is more fundamental than your self-centeredness and determine that unless your spouse sees the problems you have and takes care of you, it’s not going to work out. Of course, your spouse will probably not do this—especially if he or she is thinking almost the exact same thing about you! And so what follows is the development of emotional distance and, perhaps, a slowly negotiated kind of détente or ceasefire. There is an unspoken agreement not to talk about some things. There are some things your spouse does that you hate, but you stop talking about them as long as he or she stops bothering you about certain other things. No one changes for the other; there is only tit-for-tat bargaining. Couples who settle for this kind of relationship may look happily married after forty years, but when it’s time for the anniversary photo op, the kiss will be forced. The alternative to this truce-marriage is to determine to see your own selfishness as a fundamental problem and to treat it more seriously than you do your spouse’s. Why? Only you have complete access to your own selfishness, and only you have complete responsibility for it. So each spouse should take the Bible seriously, should make a commitment to “give yourself up.” You should stop making excuses for selfishness, you should begin to root it out as it’s revealed to you, and you should do so regardless of what your spouse is doing. If two spouses each say, “I’m going to treat my self-centeredness as the main problem in the marriage,” you have the prospect of a truly great marriage. It Only Takes One to Begin
”
”
Timothy J. Keller (The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God)
“
Fascism rested not upon the truth of its doctrine but upon the leader’s mystical union with the historic destiny of his people, a notion related to romanticist ideas of national historic flowering and of individual artistic or spiritual genius, though fascism otherwise denied romanticism’s exaltation of unfettered personal creativity. The fascist leader wanted to bring his people into a higher realm of politics that they would experience sensually: the warmth of belonging to a race now fully aware of its identity, historic destiny, and power; the excitement of participating in a vast collective enterprise; the gratification of submerging oneself in a wave of shared feelings, and of sacrificing one’s petty concerns for the group’s good; and the thrill of domination. Fascism’s deliberate replacement of reasoned debate with immediate sensual experience transformed politics, as the exiled German cultural critic Walter Benjamin was the first to point out, into aesthetics. And the ultimate fascist aesthetic experience, Benjamin warned in 1936, was war.
Fascist leaders made no secret of having no program. Mussolini exulted in that absence. “The Fasci di Combattimento,” Mussolini wrote in the “Postulates of the Fascist Program” of May 1920, “. . . do not feel tied to any particular doctrinal form.” A few months before he became prime minister of Italy, he replied truculently to a critic who demanded to know what his program was: “The democrats of Il Mondo want to know our program? It is to break the bones of the democrats of Il Mondo. And the sooner the better.” “The fist,” asserted a Fascist militant in 1920, “is the synthesis of our theory.” Mussolini liked to declare that he himself was the definition of Fascism. The will and leadership of a Duce was what a modern people needed, not a doctrine. Only in 1932, after he had been in power for ten years, and when he wanted to “normalize” his regime, did Mussolini expound Fascist doctrine, in an article (partly ghostwritten by the philosopher Giovanni Gentile) for the new Enciclopedia italiana. Power came first, then doctrine. Hannah Arendt observed that Mussolini “was probably the first party leader who consciously rejected a formal program and replaced it with inspired leadership and action alone.”
Hitler did present a program (the 25 Points of February 1920), but he pronounced it immutable while ignoring many of its provisions. Though its anniversaries were celebrated, it was less a guide to action than a signal that debate had ceased within the party. In his first public address as chancellor, Hitler ridiculed those who say “show us the details of your program. I have refused ever to step before this Volk and make cheap promises.”
Several consequences flowed from fascism’s special relationship to doctrine. It was the unquestioning zeal of the faithful that counted, more than his or her reasoned assent. Programs were casually fluid. The relationship between intellectuals and a movement that despised thought was even more awkward than the notoriously prickly relationship of intellectual fellow travelers with communism. Many intellectuals associated with fascism’s early days dropped away or even went into opposition as successful fascist movements made the compromises necessary to gain allies and power, or, alternatively, revealed its brutal anti-intellectualism. We will
meet some of these intellectual dropouts as we go along. Fascism’s radical instrumentalization of truth explains why fascists never bothered to write any casuistical literature when they changed their program, as they did often and without compunction. Stalin was forever writing to prove that his policies accorded somehow with the principles of Marx and Lenin; Hitler and Mussolini never bothered with any such theoretical justification. Das Blut or la razza would determine who was right.
”
”
Robert O. Paxton (The Anatomy of Fascism)
“
You know what sums their relationship up? The time that Tommy was running naked down the hallways of a hotel in Ohio and the police arrived, went to the room next door and arrested Mick for it.
”
”
Nikki Sixx (The Heroin Diaries: Ten Year Anniversary Edition: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star)
“
It's all about great relationships that you maintain with your clients, suppliers, shareholders, employees, and every other person you come in contact
”
”
Radhakrishnan Pillai (Corporate Chanakya, 10th Anniversary Edition—2021)
“
We are doomed, but fortunately, there are holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries that help. We never want to love. We only love, so thank God for dates that make us want.
”
”
Kristian Ventura (The Goodbye Song)
“
Three professional experiences – one striking conclusion: Students grow in their faith through relationships, wounded people heal in relationships, and unbelievers come to the Lord through relationships.
”
”
E. James Wilder (Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You: 15th Anniversary Study Edition)
“
Sophie has always thought that the first time you get the hysterical giggles with a new female friend is like the first time you sleep with a boyfriend; it takes your relationship to a new, more intimate level. The two kookaburras are certainly taking their relationship to a new, more intimate level.
”
”
Liane Moriarty (The Last Anniversary)
“
Often people think of feelings as things to work through or deal with. But feelings were meant to be a barometer to help us maintain our emotional equilibrium. Feelings provide our moment-to-moment experience of life. They tell us the extent to which our perceptions are distorted by our moods and thought systems.
”
”
George S. Pransky (The Relationship Handbook: A Simple Guide to Satisfying Relationships - Anniversary Edition)
“
You can visualize your twenty-fifth and then your fiftieth wedding anniversary. Have your spouse visualize this with you. Try to capture the essence of the family relationship you want to have created through your day-by-day investment over a period of that many years.
”
”
Stephen R. Covey (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People)
“
Whenever Cyrus feels overwhelmed, like on the anniversary of his mother’s death or after arguing with Jules and Asha, he tends to disappear. Why do you think this is this coping mechanism, and what consequences does it have on his relationship with Asha? What did you make of Cyrus’ apology and surprise announcement in Chapter Fifteen? In the end, Asha admits to herself that she gave Cyrus power over her. How much do you agree with Asha’s assessment of what went wrong? How do you feel about Asha’s overall growth, and her willingness to fix what’s broken at WAI? Is it fair for the responsibility of rebuilding to fall on her?
”
”
Tahmima Anam (The Startup Wife)
“
A little over a year.” You’d have thought, after the events of the last half hour, that I was beyond shocking by now. A little over a year wasn’t a fling, a random sexual indiscretion. It was a relationship. It meant that Jen and Wade had an anniversary.
”
”
Jonathan Tropper (This is Where I Leave You)
“
The 15-layer was already spoken for, of course, in its capacity as the sympathy group. The 5-layer seemed to function as the support clique – the small group of people willing to provide unstinting emotional, physical and financial help and advice. I often refer to this layer as the shoulders-to-cry-on friends. The 15-layer is probably where you draw most of your everyday social companions from – the people you invite round for a quiet dinner or an evening out at the pub or theatre. I am inclined to think of the 50-layer as your party friends: the people you would invite round for a weekend BBQ or a celebratory birthday or anniversary party. The 150-layer is what you might call the wedding/bar mitzvah/funeral group – the people that would turn up to your once-in-a-lifetime events. It also probably contains most of the children of your closer friends. Otherwise, our women’s network data suggest that this layer is mainly populated by members of your extended family – people whose friendship does not need much regular reinforcement because it is held in place by the ties of kinship.
”
”
Robin I.M. Dunbar (Friends: Understanding the Power of our Most Important Relationships)
“
Most of us, if we’re honest about it, want to be adored and held dear in our love life. We want to reach that twentieth, or thirty-second, or forty-fifth wedding anniversary and be able to say, “She’s the love of my life, and I can’t possibly imagine a day without her,” or “He’s the very best person I know, and I am so lucky to be in love with him.” We want intimacy, we want sweetness and joy, and we want a grace-filled experience of love. But look around. Who has taught us to love well? Who has given us the skills we need to help make our genuine commitment translate itself into a daily loving practice? For many of us, the answer is: no one. No one has taught us how to do this, so we must teach ourselves.
”
”
JoAnneh Nagler (Naked Marriage: How to Have a Lifetime of Love, Sex, Joy, and Happiness)
“
Thought of bringing you both, a little closer today. Happy Anniversary!"
Time stopped, harmony smiled and love took a bow.
The yellow plate had nothing but gum, glue, and fancy cello tapes.
”
”
Shalaka Kulkarni (Orenda - flash fiction based in modern India)
“
A year. They had known each other a year. They [Janey and David] had this closeness, this rapport. But the final certainty was missing, and it was this void that, because she loved him so much, she was learning to live with.
['Anniversary']
”
”
Rosamunde Pilcher (A Place Like Home: Short Stories)
“
Think of a positive sexual experience from your past. Describe it here, with as many relevant details as you can recall: Now consider what aspects of that experience made it positive: Category Description Mental and physical wellbeing Physical health Body image Mood Anxiety Distractibility Worry about sexual functioning Other Partner characteristics Physical appearance Physical health Smell Mental state Other Relationship characteristics Trust Power dynamic Emotional connection Feeling desired Frequency of sex Setting Private/public (at home, work, vacation, etc.) Distance sex (phone, chat, etc.) See partner do something positive, like interact with family or do work Other life circumstances Work-related stress Family-related stress Holiday, anniversary, “occasion” Ludic factors/play Self-guided fantasy Partner-guided fantasy (“talking dirty”) Body parts that were touched or not Oral sex on you/on partner
”
”
Emily Nagoski (Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life)
“
I know it’s narcissistic to make my best friend’s new relationship about me, but it was only when I heard that Naima was thinking of moving that I realized I’d had a companion all this while in what I’d seen as a well of loneliness. And now she was distracted by this man she claimed to have manifested. And I was like, what about me? Why didn’t you feel like you’d manifested me when we met? We form these elaborate fantasies of romantic partnerships, Romeos and Majnus who we’ll spend our days and nights with in a passion of rose petals and fireworks, while discounting our non-romantic relationships (if such distinctions can even be made), often more enduring and authentic. We discard them as soon as some man comes along, flashing his teeth and brandishing his penis. But it’s always the friends in the end, isn’t it, who remain to pick up the pieces when the men have gone, leaving destruction in their wake? Still, only the romantic partner is taken seriously. Friends and family will not gather, ever, to celebrate my partnership with Naima—there will be no anniversaries or acknowledgments, no congratulatory cards, no celebratory ceremonies. And yet, it is this slow burning love of female friendship that actually keeps the world turning. Truth
”
”
Ayesha Manazir Siddiqi (The Centre)
“
problems instead of giving them a fresh start.
”
”
George S. Pransky (The Relationship Handbook: A Simple Guide to Satisfying Relationships - Anniversary Edition)
“
So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself” (Eph. 5:28). A man does not care for his own body sporadically. As Paul puts it, no one ever hated his own flesh. Imagine a man taking his body out to a restaurant only on its birthday, and giving it a present only on its anniversary. No, a man’s relationship with his body is much more . . . ongoing. A man deals with his own body in one way or another every minute of every day. And when a man does what Paul requires here, he loves his wife in this same ongoing, incarnational way.
”
”
Douglas Wilson (Federal Husband)
“
Take the initiative with deliberate steps to be a polite person:
1. Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze.
2. Reciprocate a thoughtful word or a good deed in kind.
3. Say "excuse me" when you bump into someone, unintentionally violate someone’s space, or need to get someone’s attention.
4. Apologize when you’ve made a mistake or are in the wrong.
5. Live by the "Golden Rule" and treat others the way you would like to be treated.
6. When dining at home or in a restaurant, wait until everyone is served before eating your meal.
7. Acknowledge notable events like birthdays, weddings, and anniversaries.
”
”
Susan C. Young (The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #4))
“
Take the initiative with deliberate steps to be a polite person:
1. Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze.
2. Reciprocate a thoughtful word or a good deed in kind.
3. Say "excuse me" when you bump into someone, unintentionally violate someone’s space, or need to get someone’s attention.
4. Apologize when you’ve made a mistake or are in the wrong.
5. Live by the "Golden Rule" and treat others the way you would like to be treated.
6. When dining at home or in a restaurant, wait until everyone is served before eating your meal.
7. Acknowledge notable events like birthdays, weddings, and anniversaries.
8. Reply to invitations, regardless of whether you will be able to attend.
9. Acknowledge and show gratitude for gifts and gestures of hospitality.
10. Put things back where they belong. Leave the world a better place than how you found it.
”
”
Susan C. Young (The Art of Action: 8 Ways to Initiate & Activate Forward Momentum for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #4))
“
the financial system is so genuinely complex and so many of the relationships within it are non-linear, even chaotic.
”
”
Niall Ferguson (The Ascent of Money: A Financial History of the World: 10th Anniversary Edition)
“
relationships between debtors and creditors brokered or ‘intermediated’ by increasingly numerous institutions called banks. The core function of these institutions was now information gathering and risk management.
”
”
Niall Ferguson (The Ascent of Money: A Financial History of the World: 10th Anniversary Edition)
“
The present moment is
inseparable from life.
I want the present moment
to be my friend. I want
to be friends with anyone
I encounter now.
I want to be friends with Life.
This is a decision I am willing
to make again and again.
It's one I want to and will
make every chance I get.
Ask: what's my relationship with
Life?
”
”
Joshua David Swift (The Coolness of Josh: Expanded 10th Anniversary Edition)
“
Kids are supposed to relax on vacations, and enjoy themselves, not sitting in the back seat of a car making peace with death and gripping a rosary because Mom is playing chicken with oncoming cars in the mountains.
”
”
Joshua David Swift (The Coolness of Josh: Expanded 10th Anniversary Edition)
“
The Concise Oxford Dictionary defines the verb to coach as to “tutor, train, give hints to, prime with facts.” This does not help us much, for those things can be done in many ways, some of which bear no relationship to coaching. Coaching is as much about the way these things are done as about what is done. Coaching delivers results in large measure because of the supportive relationship between the coach and the coachee, and the means and style of communication used. The coachee does acquire the facts, not from the coach but from within himself, stimulated by the coach. Of course, the objective of improving performance is paramount, but how that is best achieved is what is in question.
”
”
John Whitmore (Coaching for Performance Fifth Edition: The Principles and Practice of Coaching and Leadership UPDATED 25TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION)
“
MS. WALKER,” YUKI said to her lovely looking witness, “do you know the defendant, Dr. Candace Martin?” “I’ve never met her. But of course I know who she is.” “Did you know her husband, Dennis Martin?” “Yes. I was seeing Dennis for a couple of years. Until about a month before his death.” Yuki tucked her hair behind her ears and said to Walker, “By ‘seeing’ Dennis Martin, do you mean you were having a sexual relationship
”
”
James Patterson (10th Anniversary (Women's Murder Club, #10))
“
The only time we’re allowed to open this box before our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary is if it’s an emergency.’ ‘What kind of emergency? Like…death?’ He shakes his head. ‘No a relationship emergency. Like…divorce.’ ‘Divorce?’ I hate that word. ‘Seriously?’ ‘I don’t see us needing to open his box for any other reason than to celebrate our longevity, Quinn. But, if one of us ever decides we want a divorce - if we’ve reached the point where we think that’s the only answer - we have to promise not to go through with it until we open this box and read these letters. Maybe reminding each other of how we felt when we closed the box will help change our minds if we ever need to open it early.’ ‘So this box isn’t just a keepsake. It’s also a marriage survival kit?’ Graham shrugs. ‘You could say that. But we have nothing to worry about. I’m confident we won’t need to open this box for another twenty-five years.
”
”
Colleen Hoover (All Your Perfects (Hopeless, #3))
“
Julian added: “The sages taught me that on an average day the average person runs about sixty thousand thoughts through his mind. What really amazed me, though, was that ninety-five percent of those thoughts were the same as the ones you thought the day before!” “Are you serious?” I asked. “Very. This is the tyranny of impoverished thinking. Those people who think the same thoughts every day, most of them negative, have fallen into bad mental habits. Rather than focusing on all the good in their lives and thinking of ways to make things even better, they are captives of their pasts. Some of them worry about failed relationships or financial problems. Others fret over their less-than-perfect childhoods. Still others brood over more trifling matters: the way a store clerk might have treated them or the comment of a co-worker that smacked of ill-will. Those who run their minds in this fashion are allowing worry to rob them of their life force. They are blocking the enormous potential of their minds to work magic and deliver into their lives all that they want, emotionally, physically and, yes, even spiritually. These people never realize that mind management is the essence of life management.
”
”
Robin Sharma (The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, 25th Anniversary Edition)
“
There is no magic bullet, secret formula, or quick fix to success. You don’t make $200,000 a year by spending two hours a day on the internet, lose thirty pounds in a week with a “Hollywood diet,” rub twenty years off your face with a cream, fix your love life with a pill, or find lasting success with a get-rich-quick scheme. It would be great if you could buy your success, fame, self-esteem, good relationships, health, and well-being in a nicely clam-shelled package at the local Walmart, but that’s not how it works.
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Darren Hardy (The Compound Effect (10th Anniversary Edition): Jumpstart Your Income, Your Life, Your Success)
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ST221
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Credibility isn’t just content expertise. It’s content expertise plus “presence,” which refers to how we look, act, react, and talk about our content. It depends not only on the substantive reality of the advisor’s expertise, but also on the experience of the person doing the perceiving. As the chapter on relationship building suggested (Chapter 5), we must find ways not only to be credible, but also to give the client the sense that we are credible. We must illustrate, not assert. Why
”
”
David H. Maister (The Trusted Advisor: 20th Anniversary Edition)
“
We are grateful for a happy marriage and a glorious future. Four years of a happy marriage! Happy Anniversary my dearest husband, Jeremiah Nii Mama Akita! I love you with all my heart, soul and body.
”
”
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
“
The Islamic Republic of Pakistan partition, from the Republic of India, and as entire Secular India, independence from the British Empire enter its 70th anniversary. Unfortunately, both countries fail, within its real conception of freedom as India in its secular system and Pakistan as in its democratic prospect in the perception of Islamic values that cause the partition from India. Consequently, Pakistan bore the lesson of the partition of its East Pakistan, becoming Bangladesh. Beyond all other issues, the both Pakistan and India would have become the great, richest, and powerful nations in the world map if both sides had adopted the vision, dialogue of mutual interests, and toleration for the peace and harmony. In an open fact, enmity, with the diplomatic idiocy damaged, not only the old traditional and literary relationships but also the economic destruction on both sides. Both countries produce and facilitate, and sponsor the extremists and terrorists for self-destruction on self-costs and lives. How long both countries stay on that strategy, which gains nothing, except suffering from that, both sides people?
Ehsan Sehgal
”
”
Ehsan Sehgal
“
Fear and the ego
"All fear is ego's fear of death."
"Ego is vulnerable and insecure, and it sees itself as constantly under threat."
"The emotions is the body's reaction to your mind. What message is the body receiving continuously from the ego, the false mind-made self? DANGER, I am under threat. And what is the emotion generated by this continuous message? Fear, of course"
"Even such a seemingly trivial and "normal" thing as the compulsive need to be right in an argument and make the other person wrong - defending the mental position with which you have identified - is due to the fear of death. if you identify with a mental position, then if you are wrong, your mind-based sense of self is seriously threatened with annihilation. So, you as the ego cannot afford to be wrong. To be wrong is to die."
"Once you have disidentified from your mind, whether you are right or wrong makes no difference to your sense of self at all, so the forcefully compulsive and deeply unconscious need to be right, which is a dorm of violence, will no longer be there. You can state clearly and firmly how you feel or what you think, but there will be no aggressiveness or defensiveness about it. This is the end of all arguments and power games, which are so corrosive to relationships
”
”
Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, The Art of Happiness 10th Anniversary Edition, You Are a Badass, Life Leverage 4 Books Collection Set)
“
Most of us, if we’re honest about it, want to be adored and held dear in our love life. We want to reach that twentieth, or thirty-second, or forty-fifth wedding anniversary and be able to say, “She’s the love of my life, and I can’t possibly imagine a day without her,” or “He’s the very best person I know, and I am so lucky to be in love with him.” We want intimacy, we want sweetness and joy, and we want a grace-filled experience of love. But look around. Who has taught us to love well? Who has given us the skills we need to help make our genuine commitment translate itself into a daily loving practice? For many of us, the answer is: no one. No one has taught us how to do this, so we must teach ourselves.
”
”
Ashley Willis (The Naked Marriage: Undressing the truth about sex, intimacy and lifelong love)
“
The most loving women are the women who will test you the most. She wants you to be your fullest, most magnificent self. She won’t settle for anything less. She knows it is true of you. She knows in your deepest heart you are free, you are Shiva. Anything less than that she will torment. And, as you know, she’s quite good at it."Love is not selective, just as the light of the sun is not selective. It does not make one person special. It is not exclusive. Exclusivity is not the love of God but the "love" of ego. However, the intensity with which true love is felt can vary. There may be one person who reflects your love back to you more clearly and more intensely than others, and if that person feels the same toward you, it can be said that you are in a love relationship with him or her. The bond that connects you with that person is the same bond that connects you with the person sitting next to you on a bus, or with a bird, a tree, a flower. Only the degree of intensity with which it is felt differs
”
”
Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, The Art of Happiness 10th Anniversary Edition, You Are a Badass, Life Leverage 4 Books Collection Set)
“
...it’s always the friends in the end, isn’t it, who remain to pick up the pieces when the men have gone, leaving destruction in their wake? Still, only the romantic partner is taken seriously. Friends and family will not gather, ever, to celebrate my partnership with Naima—there will be no anniversaries or acknowledgments, no congratulatory cards, no celebratory ceremonies. And yet, it is this slow burning love of female friendship that actually keeps the world turning.
”
”
Ayesha Manazir Siddiqi (The Centre)
“
Creating shared experiences and memorable moments is a powerful way to foster a deeper emotional connection. These shared adventures and quality time together reinforce the emotional bond. ● Joint Adventures: Exploring new places, trying new activities, or embarking on adventures together can create lasting memories. These shared experiences offer excitement and deepen the sense of togetherness. ● Travel and Exploration: Traveling as a couple opens the door to shared adventures, challenges, and discoveries. Whether it's a weekend getaway or an international expedition, traveling together strengthens your connection and creates lasting stories. ● Cultural and Intellectual Pursuits: Engaging in cultural or intellectual activities, such as attending art exhibitions, concerts, or book readings, can spark meaningful conversations and emotional connection. It also allows you to explore shared interests. ● Creating Traditions: Establishing traditions, whether celebrating holidays, anniversaries, or simple rituals like Sunday brunch or movie nights, creates a sense of continuity and shared history that strengthens emotional ties.
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”
Taylor Strongbond (Building Better Bonds: A Practical Guide to Stronger Connections, Healthy Relationships and Creating Love Story That Endures Through the Ages)
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Aliya
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Another aspect of the emotional pain that is an intrinsic part of the egoic mind is a deep-seated sense of lack or incompleteness—of not being whole. In some people this is conscious; in others, unconscious. If it is conscious, it manifests as the unsettling and constant feeling of not being worthy or good enough. If it is unconscious, it will only be felt indirectly as an intense craving, wanting, and needing. In either case, people will often enter into a compulsive pursuit of ego gratification and things to identify with in order to fill this hole they feel within. So they strive after possessions, money, success, power, recognition, or a special relationship, basically so they can feel better about themselves—feel more complete. But even when they obtain all these things, they soon find that the hole is still there, that it is bottomless.
”
”
Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, The Art of Happiness 10th Anniversary Edition, You Are a Badass, Life Leverage 4 Books Collection Set)
“
I don’t try to replace existing relationships. My role is to leverage and support key relationships which clients have developed over years. For example, if the client has an investment broker, even though I am securities-licensed, I will simply serve as an advisor/coordinator. I am there to augment, to find ways to add value, to be the quarterback who might pass things to others, not to carry the ball alone (to continue the football analogy).
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David H. Maister (The Trusted Advisor: 20th Anniversary Edition)
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control is an unavoidable feature of human relationships; all that actually varies is the subtlety of the system of reinforcement.
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Alfie Kohn (Punished By Rewards: Twenty-Fifth Anniversary Edition: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise, and Other Bribes)
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To lovers out there …
Do not envy others without knowing what they are truly doing or how they are doing it. Many couples who take international trips, buy each other houses and cars, or host lavish events may not be doing so through honest means. Often, these displays of wealth are funded by money laundering or other illicit activities. Some travel abroad under the guise of a vacation or baecation, but are actually involved in drug trafficking, prostitution, human trafficking, or other crimes. Others throw extravagant celebrations, birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, and exchange expensive gifts as a way to clean dirty money.
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De philosopher DJ Kyos