“
If you once forfeit the confidence of your fellow citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem. It is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time; you can even fool some of the people all of the time; but you can't fool all of the people all of the time. -Speech at Clinton, Illinois, September 8, 1854.
”
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Abraham Lincoln
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Chasing a man is not winning. The only thing you win is the loss of your dignity. Confidence is knowing your value, instead of expecting a man’s love to provide you with value.
”
”
Shannon L. Alder
“
What kept you distant from me?” she asked. By now, she had regained enough confidence to start a discussion.
“Fear,” he replied.
“What kind of fear?”
“Fear of facing people’s objections. Fear of putting both of our lives at risk. Fear of exploiting your reputation and mine as well. Fear of beginning a new relationship with you when everybody already knows I am a mentor to you. Fear of…losing you and never having you again in my life.” He struggled with words while speaking the last line.
“I love you Ahmar and I would not leave you. Ever.
”
”
Sara Naveed (Undying Affinity)
“
Controlling your mindset is one of the most powerful badass things you can do.
”
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Bonnie Marcus (Not Done Yet!: How Women Over 50 Regain Their Confidence and Claim Workplace Power)
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I don’t care how old you are—fifty, sixty, or seventy. Your value doesn’t diminish with each birthday.
”
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Bonnie Marcus (Not Done Yet!: How Women Over 50 Regain Their Confidence and Claim Workplace Power)
“
Don’t be stingy with your praise and support of other women. What goes around comes around. It’s great karma.
”
”
Bonnie Marcus (Not Done Yet!: How Women Over 50 Regain Their Confidence and Claim Workplace Power)
“
They are searching for purpose, to dream again, to be present in their lives, to regain their confidence. Some just want to have fun, to escape tedious routine, to break out of their ruts.
”
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Joan Anderson (A Weekend to Change Your Life: Find Your Authentic Self After a Lifetime of Being All Things to All People)
“
It is your duty to advance the aims of the organization and also to help those who serve it. If you once forfeit the confidence of your fellow citizens you can never regain their respect and esteem
”
”
Donald T. Phillips (Lincoln On Leadership: Executive Strategies for Tough Times)
“
(...) ClanFintan's gaze captured mine once more.
"I said nothing because I hoped that you would trust me enough to confide in me." His voice had finally regained its emotion, and I was upset to hear the sadness that filled his words.
"I do trust you! It's just that there didn't seem to be a right time. And then, well, I didn't tell you because I didn't want to chance loosing your love."
My voice had become a whisper.
(...) So, I stood there trying to blink away the tears that were threatening to spill from my eyes. ClanFintan sighed heavily and closed the space between us before I could start bawling. He touched my face and cupped my chin in the warmth of his hand.
"My love is something you will never lose." He bent and kissed me softly, then smiled at my undoubtedly goofy expression.
"My patience, perhaps, but never my love.
”
”
P.C. Cast
“
Who should you trust? Yourself first of all. Many people have lost their self-confidence. Through the rediscovery of your inner treasures you also regain your self-confidence.
”
”
Maheshwarananda (The Hidden Power in Humans - Chakras and Kundalini)
“
You now have more experience and wisdom than ever before. Age enhances your value.
”
”
Bonnie Marcus (Not Done Yet!: How Women Over 50 Regain Their Confidence and Claim Workplace Power)
“
Make it your mission to finish your career on your terms with a bang, not a whimper.
”
”
Bonnie Marcus (Not Done Yet!: How Women Over 50 Regain Their Confidence and Claim Workplace Power)
“
Be proud of how you show up every day, feeling comfortable in your own skin, being your magnificent you.
”
”
Bonnie Marcus (Not Done Yet!: How Women Over 50 Regain Their Confidence and Claim Workplace Power)
“
All this drinking and dancing and flirting,” Mr. Kent said with a sigh, balancing a glass on the railing for me. “Dreadful business, isn’t it?”
“Yes, I don’t understand it,” I mumbled, accepting the champagne as if it could magically transport me away. No, still here. What on earth was he getting at? Was he toying with me?
“That’s just it. Perspective is a curious thing. One day, you see everything from one angle and you think you know what’s important,” he continued, looking out at the dancers. Then he turned to me, smiling wryly. “Then another day, from another angle, you see what’s really important, and everything else just . . . melts away.”
“I see,” I said without meeting his eyes, hoping he’d be dissuaded. He wasn’t. His hand slid across the railing and caught mine.
“I have never seen you here before. Are you one of Mrs. Shine’s girls?” he asked. Seen you here before? Downstairs, the tempo of the violins and cellos quickened. As my blood boiled, I could barely hear my own thoughts, and the response left my lips compulsively.
“No.”
“Excellent, then might I ask, who is your—”
“I’m sorry, I can’t help you,” I interrupted, hurrying away past the bar and the horrible paintings toward the stairs.
“Please, wait!” he called from behind, chasing after me. “What is your name?”
“Evelyn Wyndham,” I said, giving him a false name. Dammit. Champagne and Mr. Kent did not mix well.
“M-miss Wyndham!” he exclaimed. For a moment, it was rather strange to see the confident man look so confused, but he quickly regained himself with a smile. “I . . . I was just having a bit of fun. I knew it was you.”
“Oh, was that before or after you propositioned me?”
“That is a question with no right answer, but keep in mind what I was saying about perspective earlier—
”
”
Tarun Shanker (These Vicious Masks (These Vicious Masks, #1))
“
When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic. – Ben Franklin
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do. – Ben Franklin
Malcolm X once said, Time is on the side of the oppressed today. It’s against the oppressor. Truth is on the side of the oppressed today. It’s against the oppressor. You don’t need anything else.
President Abe Lincoln uttered a profound and prophetic maxim approximately 150 years ago, If you once forfeit the confidence of your fellow citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem. It is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time; you can fool some of the people all of the time; but you cannot fool all the people all of the time.
”
”
J. Lee Cooper-Giles
“
Is that the only reason you’re helping me?”
“Isn’t it enough?”
“It is. I’m just wondering if there’s something else.”
“No,” he harrumphed. “Wait, yes. Now I remember—I also want to fuck you again.”
I tripped over my own feet, about to dive into the ground. He caught me by the hem of my shirt, jerking me upright.
I’ll always catch you. When have I ever let you take the hit for something, Dot?
“You did not just say that.” I slapped branches out of my way as I regained my balance.
“Did too. Fair warning—I want much more than fucking this time around. I want dates. I want laughs. I want you to be honest with me. All the stuff that freaks you out for some reason. No strings attached. No commitment. Just fun. A perfect do-over.”
“Why do you need a do-over?”
“So my last memory of us won’t be you almost vomiting because we had sex.”
“I almost vomited because your sister caught us!” I shrieked. “Which is exactly why this won’t happen again. You’re high if you think I’m betraying her trust a second time around.”
“Thought you’d say that. I have great news for you.”
“What?”
“She no longer gives a fuck.”
“That’s not tru—”
“It is. Ask her yourself.”
The confidence with which he’d said that made my heart twist like Play-Doh. What had changed between then and now? Why was she okay with us hooking up all of a sudden?
“Why wouldn’t she care?” I asked in a panic.
“Because it no longer matters.”
“How c—”
“Come on, Bitchy. Put two and two together.”
Bitchy.
He’d called me Bitchy.
The rain intensified, knocking on our faces. I skidded to an abrupt stop. A wave of memories crashed into me all at once, nearly knocking me down on my ass. Everything became crystal clear in one swift moment.
Row defending me when Dylan caught us having sex.
Row teaching me how to slow dance in his room before my very first prom because I knew I would be too terrified to ever dance with anyone else and didn’t want to miss out.
Row and I sitting on the hood of his car, in front of an endless ocean, the moon, and the stars. Me saying, “Isn’t it beautiful?” and him answering, “Yes, you are.”
Row being essentially in love with me.
I couldn’t even touch the other revelation right now. It was too much to process.
Bitchy. Bitchy. Bitchy.
McMonster. Selfless, sweet McMonster. Who seemed to know me inside out. Who could read me like an open book. Could it be?
But it couldn’t be.
No. It couldn't.
Not him.
not the shinest boy in Staindrop.
"No more running." I planted my feet on the pavement, clutching my knees, panting. Tears prickled the back of my eyeballs. Row looked on high alert. Neither of us seemed ready to acknowledge the fact that he was McMonster and I was Bitchy.
For the first time since I'd known him, he looked like a boy. Not a heartthrob, not a world-famous chef, not a formidable boss-- just a boy.
”
”
L.J. Shen (Truly Madly Deeply (Forbidden Love, #1))
“
If we follow Jesus, our status before God is righteous. The gavel has come down and our righteousness is secure in the work of Jesus Christ. God’s verdict is not subject to change based on our performance. We didn’t become righteous because of our performance, and we can’t lose our righteousness because of our performance. We don’t have to worry about getting escorted off God’s premises. We have access, we have resources, and we have blessings because of Jesus. It is easy to hear this sort of message and get excited about it. We hear a preacher talking about God’s forgiveness and grace on Sunday, and we’re like, “Woohoo! I’m in! This is great!” But then Monday comes around, and it’s really hard to apply this reality when we’re having one of those moments when we lose our minds, or make dumb decisions, or go off on somebody, or do that stupid, ridiculous thing we swore we’d never do again. Suddenly, here comes the negative emotion. Here come the bad feelings. Here comes that sense that our status cannot possibly be the same as it was in church yesterday. That’s what the Bible calls condemnation. It’s a very real phenomenon. If you are a follower of Jesus, a Christian, and have never experienced condemnation, you might be God. For the rest of us mortals, we’ve all experienced it. Guilt. Shame. A sense that our status has changed. I’m going to take this a step further. This might sound weird at first, but I think we actually, in a very sadistic way, enjoy condemnation. Why? Because condemnation is logical; and in a weird, twisted, dark sense, it gratifies our flesh. It actually feels right to feel horrible, to feel depressed, to feel dejected, to feel despair. “I messed up. I did something so stupid. This serves me right.” But in fact, condemnation doesn’t serve us at all. In the verses above, the Bible says that condemnation should have no part in our existence on this planet if we belong to Jesus. As humans, we are experts at confusing our feelings with reality. We take our negative emotions and thoughts at face value, and we think, I feel bad, so I must be bad. I feel guilty, so I must be guilty. And if I’m disappointed and mad at myself, God must be way more disappointed and mad at me. Since we feel condemned, we think we are condemned. And since we think we are condemned, we work harder to regain our lost status. Instead of going confidently to God and asking for his grace to get back up and move forward in life, we try to patch ourselves up and put ourselves back together so we can attain the status of righteous before God again. Ironically, since we will never measure up to perfection, the more we try to earn our righteousness, the worse we feel. It’s the cycle of condemnation. I find it’s far easier to believe we are sinners than to believe we are righteous. But we are already righteous through Jesus. It’s a gift, and it’s called grace. How much time do we waste as Jesus followers trying to recover what we have had all along?
”
”
Judah Smith (Life Is _____.: God's Illogical Love Will Change Your Existence)
“
After you’ve gone through a major breakup and a time of healing, you start to think about going back out there. Even if you haven’t thought about it, people in your life may be prompting you to start dating again. Some think that getting right back out there is essential, but that’s usually not the case. You need time to grieve, rebuild your life, and regain your self-confidence. This is done on your timetable and no one else’s.
”
”
Susan J. Elliott (Getting Back Out There: Secrets to Successful Dating and Finding Real Love after the Big Breakup)
“
Consider what would happen if you saved $1 every month from 1900 to 2019. You could invest that $1 into the U.S. stock market every month, rain or shine. It doesn’t matter if economists are screaming about a looming recession or new bear market. You just keep investing. Let’s call an investor who does this Sue. But maybe investing during a recession is too scary. So perhaps you invest your $1 in the stock market when the economy is not in a recession, sell everything when it’s in a recession and save your monthly dollar in cash, and invest everything back into the stock market when the recession ends. We’ll call this investor Jim. Or perhaps it takes a few months for a recession to scare you out, and then it takes a while to regain confidence before you get back in the market. You invest $1 in stocks when there’s no recession, sell six months after a recession begins, and invest back in six months after a recession ends. We’ll call you Tom. How much money would these three investors end up with over time? Sue ends up with $435,551. Jim has $257,386. Tom $234,476.
”
”
Morgan Housel (The Psychology of Money)
“
Sir, if reasons respecting simply your own commerce, which is your own convenience, were the sole grounds of the repeal of the five duties, why does Lord Hillsborough, in disclaiming in the name of the king and ministry their ever having had an intent to tax for revenue, mention it as the means "of reëstablishing the confidence and affection of the colonies?" Is it a way of soothing others, to assure them that you will take good care of yourself? The medium, the only medium, for regaining their affection and confidence is that you will take off something oppressive to their minds.
”
”
Edmund Burke (The Works of the Right Honourable Edmund Burke, Vol. 02 (of 12))
“
Sadly, a child often “misbehaves” because she has lost her sense of belonging or connection. Misbehavior “works” for a very good reason; that is, it regains a parent’s attention and involvement, even if that attention is negative. Believe it or not, children don’t “act out” to get attention. While all children need attention, what they really seek is safe, secure connection. When your child knows that she is securely connected to you, her misbehavior will diminish.
”
”
Jane Nelsen (Positive Discipline: The First Three Years: From Infant to Toddler--Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident Child)
“
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his very thorough checkup, the doctor sent the husband into the waiting area and called the wife into his office for a confidential assessment. In a concerned tone, he said, “Your husband is suffering from a severe disease combined with horrible stress. It looks as though he may die soon unless you commit to the following actions: Each morning fix him a full, warm, healthy breakfast. Always be in a good mood. Be constantly pleasant to make sure he doesn’t feel any additional stress. Make him a nice lunch, and for the next year really try to go overboard and cook his favorite meals for dinner. Don’t burden him with household chores; he can’t handle the additional pressure. Don’t discuss your problems with him; it will only increase the tension. And most importantly, try to satisfy his every physical desire. If you can do this for the next ten to twelve months, I’m confident your husband will fully regain his health.” On the way home, the husband asked, “So, what did the doctor say to you?” His wife paused for a long time and then responded, “He said you are going to die.
”
”
Jim Burns (Getting Ready for Marriage: A Practical Road Map for Your Journey Together)
“
I beg your pardon, my ladies, Mr. Trottenham. I did not realize I’d be intruding unannounced.” “Deene, good day.” Trottenham rose and bowed, smacking his heels together audibly. “The more the merrier, I say, what? Saw your colt beat Islington’s by two lengths. Well done, jolly good and all that. Islington’s made a bit too much blunt off that animal in my opinion.” Trottenham apparently had a nervous affliction of the eyebrows, for they bounced up and down as he spoke, suggesting either a severe tic or an attempt to indicate some sort of shared confidence. “Perhaps the ladies would rather we save the race talk for the clubs?” “The ladies would indeed,” Louisa said. “Sit you down, Deene, and do the pretty. Mr. Trottenham was just leaving.” She gave a pointed look at the clock, while Eve, who had said nothing, busied herself pouring tea, which Deene most assuredly did not want. “Leaving?” Trottenham’s eyebrows jiggled around. “Suppose I ought, but first I must ask Lady Eve to join me at the fashionable hour for a drive around The Ring. It’s a beautiful day, and I’ve a spanking pair of bays to show off.” Deene accepted his cup of tea with good grace. “Afraid she’s not in a position to oblige, Trottenham, at least not today.” He smiled over at Eve, who blinked once then smiled back. Looking just a bit like Louisa when she did. “Sorry, Mr. Trottenham.” She did not sound sorry to Deene. “His lordship has spoken for my time today.” Trottenham’s smile dimmed then regained its strength. “Tomorrow, then?” Jenny spoke up. “We’re supposed to attend that Venetian breakfast with Her Grace tomorrow.” “And the next day is His Grace’s birthday. Couldn’t possibly wander off on such an occasion as that,” Louisa volunteered. “Why don’t I see you out, Mr. Trottenham, and you can tell me where you found these bays.” She rose and took him by the arm, leaving a small silence after her departure, in which Deene spared a moment to pity poor Trottenham. “I have an appointment at the modiste,” Lady Jenny said, getting to her feet. “Lucas, I’m sure you’ll excuse me.” She swanned off, leaving Eve sitting before the tea tray and Deene wondering what had just happened. “Did you tell them I’ve a preference for leeks?” “I did not, but I cannot vouch for the queer starts my sisters take.
”
”
Grace Burrowes (Lady Eve's Indiscretion (The Duke's Daughters, #4; Windham, #7))
“
Notice what your inner critic is saying, and issue a cease and desist! Regain control. Resist, and refuse to listen.
”
”
Susan C. Young (The Art of Being: 8 Ways to Optimize Your Presence & Essence for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #1))
“
PARTIES, CONFERENCES AND NETWORKING EVENTS. You’ve got to be honest with yourself; this was the actual lesson you’ve been dreading, only if you are a natural extrovert, there are some things that are more stressful than going to parties and other networking activities. Today is going to be a bit tough, so you are going to have to be tougher. This is where all the lessons you’ve learnt so far will pay off. When you’re in a party, a conference or networking event, you are likely to hold one of four possible roles. How you react to the event will depend on this role. The possibilities include: Host/Greeter. Guest. Networker. Support. People will definitely come to you if you’re in the first category, making introduction moderately easy and opportunities for small talk plentiful. You may be in charge of giving a presentation or attending to a table at a convention or any similar event. Make sure to create eye contact and smile at strangers to acknowledge them, someone will approach you in no time. Topics that may outstand may include how successful the turnout was or other positive factors that craved out of the event. If you happen to be a guest or a visitor, the challenge is on you to approach and kick start conversations. The golden rule for breaking ice at events and starting small talks ate networking arena are remarkably the same. You have to keep one thing in mind; everyone attends a party with the intention of meeting a new person and talking with them. So, if you find out that your introduction is not so much an imposition as making it up to meet new people, you will find it much compelling and easy. Your best topics in this case are basically probing enquires about what brings your other party to the event and if you have mutual acquaintances. Your own work as a networker is a little bit different from being a host or guest. As a networker, you have to join groups, or even groups of groups in a cohesive way. You may need to go in to many conversations in the middle. The best way to go about this is to smile or enthusiastically go with something that was just said. When this is done, be careful not to shoehorn your conversation topics in to small talks, but try to carefully merge in to each of them as if you’re approaching from a highway on- ramp. Support is the final role, and the sad part about this is that you might find yourself at the end catering an event or working as a neutral staff. Even with that, you may still create opportunities for personal networking or even very revealing small talks during the course of the event. Conversation with other staff, special guests or even the host can turn out to invaluable connections that you can make use of later. With this at the back of your mind, always prepare for short conversations when you’re working an event just as seriously as if you were attending the event as a special guest. Maybe you’re not that kind of person that can withstand large crowd, take a break to regain who you are and review the topical assessments you prepared in the previous lessons. Don’t forget to excuse yourself so you can move around in the event centre on a regular basis, perhaps going for another role you think you’re capable of. This particular aspect does not have any other way to go about it. In fact, it might take the next 5 days before you put the whole concept together, and you may need to combine the zeal with tomorrow’s lesson. Now, you should go for a party or be the host to one yourself so you can utilize all these principles you learnt today. There’s no way to wave this, you have to learn it and be perfect. Bring your partner who has been your support all this while along to tackle the four roles and many more within the time frame. Until then, maintain the free flow with ease.
”
”
Jack Steel (Communication: Critical Conversation: 30 Days To Master Small Talk With Anyone: Build Unbreakable Confidence, Eliminate Your Fears And Become A Social Powerhouse – PERMANENTLY)
“
Injecting logic works best when: You catch the build-up of emotion, such as tilt or fear, before reaching your emotional threshold. If not, you have a major uphill battle to regain the ability to think clearly and play well without having to take a break or quit. Why? Once your emotions have crossed the threshold, it becomes harder and harder to think clearly. Injecting logic is really just thinking. Therefore, if your emotions have shut off your ability to think, trying to inject logic is the equivalent of trying to run on a sprained or broken ankle. Your logic also corrects the underlying flaw. The fastest way to resolve a mental game problem is by injecting logic that also corrects the underlying flaw that is causing it. Basically, you’re working toward two goals at once.
”
”
Jared Tendler (The Mental Game of Poker: Proven Strategies For Improving Tilt Control, Confidence, Motivation, Coping with Variance, and More (The Mental Game of Poker Series Book 1))
“
Today, I wish you to know that you are much more wiser, bigger & powerful than your circumstances. Don’t let the testing, upsetting or confusing moments hit you hard & steal away your ability to do what you do the best.
Darling listen – you can no longer avoid what’s possible & good for you.
I want you to remind yourself of your capabilities, how you did all the things in the past & how your old self has won so many battles despite all the barriers.
Sweetheart, retrace & regain your confidence & strength. It's time for you to upgrade, transform & live patiently (purposefully).
Sweetheart (the person reading this), I wish to assure you that whatever battle you’re facing right now, just know that you’ll make it out & soon you will witness yourself in the greatest form.
Very soon things will start accelerating towards the outcomes you want & you will see God’s hand working for you.
Enjoy the blessings & congratulations in advance! Wishing you a great week ahead!
”
”
Rajesh Goyal
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The advertising executive “straightened himself out” and regained his confidence within a short time, once he saw clearly that for several years he had been motivated by strong personal goals that he wanted to attain, including securing his present position. These goals, which were important to him, kept him on the track. However, once he got the promotion, he ceased to think in terms of what he wanted, but in terms of what others expected of him, or whether he was living up to other people’s goals and standards. He was like the skipper of a ship who had relinquished his hold upon the wheel, and hoped that he would drift in the right direction. He was like a mountain climber, who as long as he looked upward to the peak he wished to scale, felt and acted courageously and boldly. But when he got to the top, he felt there was nowhere else to go, and began to look down, and became afraid. He was now on the defensive, defending his present position, rather than acting like a goal-striver and going on the offensive to attain his goal. He regained control when he set himself new goals and began to think in terms of “What do I want out of this job? What do I want to achieve? Where do I want to go?” “Functionally, a man is somewhat like a bicycle,” I told him. “A bicycle maintains its poise and equilibrium only so long as it is going forward towards something. You have a good bicycle. Your trouble is you are trying to maintain your balance sitting still, with no place to go. It’s no wonder you feel shaky.
”
”
Maxwell Maltz (Psycho-Cybernetics: Updated and Expanded (The Psycho-Cybernetics Series))
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Trustablemedas
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Our minds are generally lazy and like to get rid of problems as quickly as possible, so they surround first ideas with a lot of positive chemicals to make us “fall in love” with them. Do not fall in love with your first idea. This relationship almost never works out. Most often, our first solutions are pretty average and not very creative. Humans have a tendency to suggest the obvious first. Learning to use great ideation tools helps you overcome this bias toward the obvious and helps you regain a sense of creative confidence.
”
”
Bill Burnett, Dave Evans
“
When we, for some reason, can’t own our flaws and mistakes, we’re in fact ashamed of who we are. This has a tremendous impact on our self-worth and on our true core confidence. Anxiety breeds on the gap between the image we want others to have of us, and who we know we really are.
”
”
Geert Verschaeve (Badass Ways to End Anxiety & Stop Panic Attacks!: A counterintuitive approach to recover and regain control of your life)
“
An interesting study found that meditation and other forms of relaxation have the power to shrink the amygdala, thus allowing you to become much more calm, cool, collected and more importantly, confident.[9]
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Geert Verschaeve (Badass Ways to End Anxiety & Stop Panic Attacks!: A counterintuitive approach to recover and regain control of your life)
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