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Therefore, no matter how hard you may have worked to save the marriage, if your partner was unwilling to end an affair in which there was a deep emotional involvement, you were fighting an uphill battle.
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Shirley P. Glass (Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity)
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5. Unfaithful husbands in long-term marriages described their affairs as more emotional than sexual. Men whose affairs were primarily sexual seldom chose to leave. 6. Commitment to working on the marriage was low at the beginning of therapy. Involved spouses who were not committed to do everything possible to save their marriage were more likely to drop out of therapy quickly and leave the marriage.
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Shirley P. Glass (Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity)
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For married lovers, the marriage is bread and butter and the affair is icing on the cake. Affairs between married and single people have an imbalance of power because the affair is the one-and-only for the unmarried person, who has to wait in line for time and attention that isn’t already allocated to the spouse and kids. Ralph
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Shirley P. Glass (Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity)
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For some people, commitment comes with a mindfulness of the need for exclusivity, about which they have no second thoughts. They seem to have a red stoplight built into their senses. For others, commitment is conditional and seems to come with a yellow warning light that can be heeded or ignored. They split hairs and decide that their commitment permits them to do this but does not allow them to do that. Their conditional commitment may also be dependent on the state of their marriage. Still others have turned a forbidden transgression into a reasonable option and have given themselves a green light to go full speed ahead.
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Shirley P. Glass (Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity)
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One man told me, "On a good day, when things are going well, I am committed to my wife. On a day when things are just okay, I am committed to my marriage. And on a day when thing's aren't so great, I satisfy myself by being committed to my commitment.
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Shirley P. Glass (Not "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity)
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The only thing that can prevent you from getting a new, more beautiful marriage is you.
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J.W. Louise (How to Forgive and Recover From Infidelity: Proven Tips to Help Rebuild Your Relationship After Heartbreaking Cheating and Deception)
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Note that he said, “…but I am going to try to work on my marriage.” My mother, a therapist, used to say, “There are those who try and those who do.” I agree wholeheartedly. “Trying” connotes tentativeness, when what
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Michele Weiner-Davis (Healing from Infidelity: The Divorce Busting® Guide to Rebuilding Your Marriage After an Affair)