Rachel Stafford Quotes

Being responsible for someone’s childhood is a big deal. We not only create our own memories, but we create our child’s memories.

It is not always possible for me to choose love in the midst of challenging situations, but I can definitely try to soften—soften my voice, my touch, my opinion, and my timetable.

This journey is not about what happened yesterday; it is about the choices I make today.

Because being fully present and active in the life of someone you love is the best gift anyone can offer.

When there is love to be given, I will resist the impulse to decide if I have time, because I know there is always, always time for love.

One day at a time – this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering. Ida Scott Taylor

Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives. Such striving may seem admirable, but it is the way of foolishness. Help them instead to find the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life. Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes, apples and pears. Show them how to cry when pets and people die. Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand. And make the ordinary come alive for them. The extraordinary will take care of itself. William Martin*

When we see each other’s scars, we love each other more.

The most meaningful life experiences don’t happen in the “when,” they happen in the “now.

So let us begin right now. Let us feed our sparkle and light up our life.

No matter how personal the attack, it is about them — their insecurities

The most life-changing experiences happen when I stop trying to control and simply let things unfold.

A compassionate response holds saving power—power to save a bond, save a line of communication, save a person’s pride, save a moment, save a day, maybe even save a life.

Let love start this day. Let love end this day. Let love transform the minutes in between.

from an article called “Three Things to Say to Your Child Every Day” by Lisa A. McCrohan, Wellness Counselor at Georgetown University.* She explains the power of these three phrases: I see you. You matter. I love to watch you.

You are never too far gone to come back. You are never too tarnished to be made new. You are never too broken to be made whole. It’s never too late to make changes. It’s never too late to begin again. It’s never too late to choose love.

I am going to do things a little differently today. Today the clock will not run my life. My heart will run my life. When there is love to be given, I will resist the impulse to decide if I have time, because I know there is always, always time for love.

Just be here, I thought to myself one night. Just be right where I am now, I vowed as I snuggled in close. Don’t think about the dishes piled in the sink, or the messages in the inbox, or the trash needing to go curbside, or the ache in your hip in need of an ice pack. Just think about the precious girl in need of a little time with her mom.

You can do anything, but you can’t do everything,

You have the power to pursue the passions of your heart without sacrificing your job or your daily responsibilities.

There is more to life than simply increasing its speed. Mahatma Gandhi

The truth hurts, but the truth heals — and brings me closer to the person I aspire to be.

Today you too are presented with a blank page. A beautifully flawed, memorable, and gratitude-filled life is at your fingertips. All you have to do is open your hands. And say yes. Say it loud enough for the world to hear. Or just say it loud enough for the people who matter most to hear.

THE ULTIMATE HANDS FREE LIFE HABIT BUILDER If I Live to Be 100 If I live to be 100, it won’t be because I tidied up the house before I left each day. It will be because of the glorious mess I made while I was living life.

What if you missed hearing the best part of your child’s day because you were on the phone? What if you missed a chance to inhale the sweet scent of your energetic child because you insisted on folding that basket of laundry before bedtime? What if you missed a chance to console your worried spouse because of your mile-long to-do list?

If you should happen to catch a glimpse of what really matters in life, regard it with care. Decorate it with flowers. Cover it with love. Hold it in the sunshine. Give it a little bit of time and attention. And when the world tries to push you forward, listen to your heart instead. Because if you don’t make time for what really matters, no one is going to do it for you. Taking a few minutes to savor everyday wonders makes the heart fuller, the inner doubts quieter, and the human connections stronger. And that’s when the ordinary becomes extraordinary for yourself and those who share your life.

THERE WILL COME A DAY . . . There will come a day when she no longer wants to hold my hand. So I will hold it while I still can. There will come a day when she no longer tells me what’s on her mind. So I will listen while she still wants to talk to me. There will come a day when she no longer says, “Watch me, Mama!” So I will observe and encourage while I still can. There will come a day when she no longer invites me to eat school lunch with her. So I will join her while I still can. There will come a day when she no longer needs my help to bake cookies or hit the tennis ball in the sweet spot. So I will stand beside her gently guiding and instructing while I still can. There will come a day when she no longer wants my opinion about clothes, friendship, death, and heaven. So I will share my views while she still wants to hear them. There will come a day when she no longer allows me to hear her prayers and her dreams. So I will fold my hands and absorb every word while I still can. There will come a day when she no longer sleeps with her beloved stuffed animal. And that day may come sooner than I think. Because sometimes unexpected events happen, causing the days to rush by, the years to tumble ahead. Sometimes what I thought I would have time to do, Like listen to her laugh, Wipe her tears, Breathe her scent, And hold her close, Will no longer be available to me. What I thought I had all the time in the world to do, May no longer be an option. The little pink dog that my child must now learn to sleep without after eight precious years reminds me that tomorrow may not allow for all the things I planned to do. So instead of being too busy, Too tired, Or too distracted when she seeks my love and attention, I will be ready and waiting To make her a well-loved child While I still can.

That red leaf is so much more than an ordinary leaf; it is a day in my life, and quantities are limited. Whether it be a frantic Monday or a draining Wednesday, each day is a leaf drifting down, down, down. It might not be a vibrant, red leaf that takes my breath away, but it's a leaf that will never be on my tree of life again.

Cherishing every moment until my child leaves home is not possible. After all, there are jobs to do, bills to pay, and deadlines to meet. There are school assignments, extracurricular activities, home duties, and volunteer duties. But there are moments in between life’s obligations when we are in the presence of our loved ones that can be made sacred.

It is in the times I least want to be Hands Free that I most need to be Hands Free.

Be an example of what it means to live presently, and continually verbalize the benefits you receive from living Hands Free.

Choosing connection over distraction offers a chance to nurture your most sacred relationships — now and in the future.

In what ways does your daily pace interfere with your ability to sit, relax, and be available to the ones you love?

You have the power to live in the now despite that inner nudge pushing you out of the moment toward perfection and productivity.

when it comes to building up a human being, unconditional attention is just as important as unconditional love.

Nothing was more important than being with the God-given gift of the person in front of me.

At least three times every day take a moment and ask yourself what is really important. Have the wisdom and the courage to build your life around your answer.

The only person who could protect my time was me.

That More Peaceful Person started with one calm reaction in the midst of chaos.        That

So go on, extraordinary one. Live and let live. Love and be loved. Bloom in time—in your own time. Now I see you for who you really are. And you are a wonder.

Ban the mirror. It cannot reflect how much you are loved.

I just want to celebrate you as you are instead of waiting for you to become what the world expects you to be.

Because it is in the moments that I choose what matters over distraction that I make lasting connections and create priceless memories with the people I love.

In that moment I made a vow. No matter what happens around me, no matter what I feel I need to do, I will never be the first to let go.

You halved my pain and I halved yours: it’s together for each other that we find strength to ask, learn, and never fold up and disappear.

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It’s critical to see all you are rather than what’s missing, imperfect, unattractive, or broken. You see, there’s someone who looks at you and sees something he or she can hold on to. You’re a keeper.

What would love do? I ask myself as I look in the mirror and start picking myself apart. Love would look past the reflection and say, “Look how far I’ve come.” Love would say, “I’m grateful for another day.

Simply let go of distraction for one moment. In that moment, you have the power to make a significant connection with another human being. You have the opportunity to be in the right place at the right time.

Today I will set aside my insecurities and ask my spouse, child, parent, or loved one if I can hold them close. I will listen to their heartbeat, breathe in their scent, and tell them how much I love them. There will be obstacles and challenges that will interfere in carrying out these moments of connection, but I will not let the distractions of my life stop me from investing in what matters most — at least not today.

allow yourself to rest, I will renew you and fill you with peace.” It suddenly occurred to me that perhaps “doing” for God was not the way he intended for me to live. Instead, perhaps I should try “being” for God.

What would love do when hate-filled words and cliques build barriers that keep people out? Love would look for the lonely, excluded, and alienated. Love would reach out a hand and say, “Come as you are. There’s a place for you here.

The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change. So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding and love. Jennifer Edwards

Suddenly those little pockets of time that were so easily devoured in the name of productivity were viewed as opportunities to focus my undivided attention on what really mattered. Making it a daily practice to be fully present while in the company of loved ones meant the difference between intimately knowing and superficially knowing the people I love. It meant the difference between living each day catching glimpses of joy or just barely surviving each day without even a smile. Filling

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon — instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. Dale Carnegie

Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.

beautifully illustrated what it means to live in authenticity: to acknowledge unpleasant feelings, like shame and humiliation, and give voice to them. She then asked someone she trusted to sit with her in her sadness — without smoothing over the negative feelings or brushing them away.

If it’s love, those tears are a sign of distress, not an act of defiance.        If it’s love, her bold fashion statement is something to be celebrated, not criticized.        If it’s love, his mistakes are evidence of trying and learning, not simply messes to clean up.        If it’s love, her slow pace is a reflection of her “stop and smell the roses” approach to life, not a time waster.        If it’s love, his early morning wake-ups are something he’ll outgrow, not a plot to exhaust us.        If it’s love, her poor choice is a chance to respond thoughtfully, not give a knee-jerk reaction.        If it’s love, our voice has a little more calm; our eyes have a little more perspective; our hands have a little more gentleness.        We won’t always choose love. We are human, after all.        But when we choose love over anger, hurry, condemnation, shame, and sarcasm, there is space for goodness to enter the conversation.        When love speaks, we are all better heard.        When love looks, we are all better seen.        Let us look and speak love today. As much as we possibly can, let us allow goodness in. TODAY’S REMINDER In the busyness of life, it’s easy to fall into the habit of saying my loved one’s name as if it’s just a word or a way to get his or her attention. Before I address my loved one today, I will take a moment to remember the time, thought, and care that went into choosing the name of this precious person, and then I’ll say it with genuine love. This one simple action holds the power to bring love into the conversation.

On this journey to grasp what really matters, discomfort often comes before growth; hurt before healing; regret before promise. By going to the darkest places in our soul, we find light. This first and most difficult step in the journey offers the chance of a new beginning — a chance to grasp the moments that matter from this day forward.

Let me consider the possibilities for a moment: What might result if love becomes my default choice today? What opportunities might open up? What connections might be repaired? What moments might I capture that otherwise might be missed? Who might I start becoming? Today I have the chance to make grand possibilities come to life. I will choose love as much as I humanly can.

Despite the choices of the past, today we are presented with a blank page. A beautifully flawed, yet memorable and gratitude-filled life is at our fingertips. But we must dig in—dig in to the gooey, heavenly mess that is life. When we make the choice to grasp what really matters, things often turn out better than expected. May you find a moment today to open your hands, say yes, and dig in.

No matter what I am in the middle of doing, No matter how inconvenient it is to look up, No matter how busy I think I am, When my children walk in the room, When my children hop in the car, When my children and I are reunited after a separation, The world is going to stop for a moment. And I will shine my love into their eyes and into their hearts, So my children see and feel how much I love them.

I just want to hear you laugh. I don’t care about perfect pitch. I just want to see you smile. I don’t care about golden trophies that shine. I just want to give you a soft place to land. I don’t care about what place you come in. I just want you to be comfortable in your skin. I don’t care about the blemish on your nose or the size of your jeans. I just want to love you today, as you are. I don’t care about what the world expects you to be.

THE HANDS FREE PLEDGE I’m becoming Hands Free. I want to make memories, not to-do lists. I want to feel the squeeze of my child’s arms, not the pressure of overcommitment. I want to get lost in conversation with the people I love, not consumed by a sea of unimportant emails. I want to be overwhelmed by sunsets that give me hope, not by overloaded agendas that steal my joy. I want the noise of my life to be a mixture of laughter and gratitude, not the intrusive buzz of cell phones and text messages. I’m letting go of distraction, disconnection, and perfection to live a life that simply, so very simply, consists of what really matters. I’m becoming Hands Free.

Upon learning that a certain precious nursing home resident we knew never had any visitors, Avery said, “We can be her family, Mama!” So for several months, we visited Annie and gathered small details from the staff about what she loved most. We were warned that sometimes Annie got confused and upset, but we never experienced anything other than a sweet and cooperative woman who loved Elvis Presley, arts and crafts, and being outside

If we allow it, the world can take hold with a fierce, all-consuming grasp that puts us in the passenger seat. But I’ve discovered the world does not know what is best for me; my heart does

3. What do you need most right now?

Change begins with a behavioral action, and when you change your behavior, your perspective starts to shift, too.

I spent much of my life allowing outside opinions to determine what was best for me. But I’ve decided I will not sabotage myself that way anymore. My body is precious, and it knows what I need if I stop long enough to love it by listening.

Just because you didn’t experience a close, loving relationship doesn’t mean you can’t cultivate one. Just because you didn’t hear people own their mistakes doesn’t mean you can’t accept your humanness. Just because you were loved conditionally doesn’t mean you have to keep proving your worth. Just because you felt misunderstood in life doesn’t mean your complexity is too much. Just because you were denied your feelings doesn’t mean it’s too late to honor your needs. Just because you made mistakes doesn’t mean you are forever defined by them. Just because you took an unauthentic path doesn’t mean you must stay the course.

There’s no time limit on learning how to love the parts of ourselves we have long abandoned.

Boundaries are an expression of self-worth. They communicate to other people who we are, what we think, how we feel, and what we will and will not tolerate.

Work, technology, and life bled into each other to the point that there were no longer any protected areas. Daily distraction was invited into the sacred spaces of my life. It didn’t matter if it was a moving vehicle, the bedroom, Saturday mornings, family vacations, or even the middle of the night — these times and places were all open to distraction’s overpowering and damaging presence. Needless to say, I walked

Life is meant to be lived not managed, not controlled, not screamed, not stressed, not hurried, not guilt-ridden, not regretted, not scripted, not consumed by distractions, big or small, obvious or subtle.

I’m keeping track of life. I’m making the moments count . . . In the kisses In the hugs In the words of my loved ones that ease my cluttered mind. I’m finding joy in the now . . . In the blessings In the do-nothing moments In the sacred pauses of life that heal my frenzied soul. I’m keeping track of life By cupping it in my two free hands Because I don’t want to miss a childhood a marriage a friendship or the moments that make life worth living. I’m keeping track of life Because now I see what’s important cannot be measured, purchased, or checked off a list It must be felt through the open hands and heart of an awakened soul.

INSPIRING BOOKS to READ • Chasing Slow by Erin Loechner • Only Love Today by Rachel Macy Stafford • The Lifegiving Home by Sally and Sarah Clarkson • Slow by Brooke McAlary • Simple Matters by Erin Boyle • The Little Book of Hygge by Meik Wiking • Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist • Simply Tuesday by Emily P. Freeman

Within days of beginning to live Hands Free, I felt like I’d stepped into a new life. As my hands were freed, my eyes were opened. And what I saw were hundreds of opportunities to connect with what really mattered. I had been too distracted, too hurried, too stressed out to see them before.