Rachel Levine Quotes

Rachel Bloom "Oh Hi Rocky!

When we think of the Berlin salons in the Romantic period, of the role played in them by a Henrietta Herz or a Rachel Levin, of the friendship between the latter and Crown Prince Louis-Ferdinand; and when we then think that if such women had lived in this century they would have died in some gas chamber, we cannot help considering the belief in progress as the falsest and stupidest of superstitions.

Jesus meets a woman at a well and concerns about marriage emerge, just as with Abraham’s servant and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel, Moses and Zipporah.

A deactivating strategy is any behavior or thought that is used to squelch intimacy. These strategies suppress our attachment system, the biological mechanism in our brains responsible for our desire to seek closeness with a preferred partner.

We can honestly say that everyone we've known who has used effective communication has been grateful for it in the long run. Often, effective communication brings about huge relief by showing you just how strongly your partner feels about you -- and by strengthening the bond between you two. And even though in some instances the response may not be what you hoped for and you'll be convinced that you've ruined everything -- if only you had said or done something else, he would surely have come around -- we've never heard anyone say in retrospect that they regretted raising an important issue in a dating or relationship setting. In fact, they overwhelmingly express gratitude that effective communication got them that one step closer to their long-term goal of either finding the right person or strengthening their existing bond.

... people with a secure attachment style view their partners' well-being as their responsibility. As long as they have reason to believe their partner is in some sort of trouble, they'll continue to back him or her. Mario Mikulincer and Phillip Shaver, in their book Attachment in Adulthood, show that people with a secure attachment style are more likely than others to forgive their partner for wrongdoing. They explain this as a complex combination of cognitive and emotional abilities: "Forgiveness requires difficult regulatory maneuvers . . . understanding a transgressor's needs and motives, and making generous attributions and appraisals concerning the transgressor's traits and hurtful actions . . . Secure people are likely to offer relatively benign explanations of their partners' hurtful actions and be inclined to forgive the partner." Also, as we've seen previously in this chapter, secure people just naturally dwell less on the negative and can turn off upsetting emotions without becoming defensively distant. The good news is that people with a secure attachment style have healthy instincts and usually catch on very early that someone is not cut out to be their partner. The bad news is that when secure people do, on occasion, enter into a negative relationship, they might not know when to call it quits--especially if it's a long-term, committed relationship in which they feel responsible for their partner's happiness.

The key to finding a mate who can fulfill those needs is to first fully acknowledge your need for intimacy, availability, and security in a relationship - and to believe that they are legitimate. They aren't good or bad, they are simply your needs. Don't let people make you feel guilty for acting "needy" or dependent." Don't be ashamed of feeling incomplete when you're not in a relationship, or for wanting to be close to your partner and to depend on him.

Meanwhile, biological men in women’s clothing have increasingly encroached on celebrity, sports, and politics. TIME magazine’s “Woman of the Year” Caitlyn Jenner, the first “female” four-star admiral in the Commissioned Corps Rachel Levine and the NCAA “female” swimming champion Lia Thomas are all lauded as examples of female achievement, despite their radically distinct hormonal baselines, higher testosterone levels, and greater physical strength, especially in the upper body.

Bağlanma prensipleri bize insanların ancak giderilmemiş ihtiyaçları kadar muhtaç olduklarını öğretir. Duygusal ihtiyaçları karşılandığında ise ilgiyi dışarıya yöneltirler. Bu, bağlanma literatüründe "bağımlılık paradoksu" olarak geçer. İnsanlar, bir diğerine ne kadar etkin şekilde bağlanırsa, o kadar cesur ve bağımsız olurlar.

The point of apocalyptic texts is not to predict the future,” explained biblical scholar Amy-Jill Levine in The Meaning of the Bible; “it is to provide comfort in the present. The Bible is not a book of teasers in which God has buried secrets only to be revealed three millennia later.” Rather, she argued, apocalyptic texts “proclaim that a guiding hand controls history, and assure that justice will be done.”7 But a lot of Christians, especially American Christians, prefer instead, wild, futuristic stories about children vanishing out of their clothes, airplanes dropping from the sky, pestilence overtaking the earth, and a Democrat getting elected president—the stuff of paperbacks and Christian B movies. And I think that’s because Americans, particularly white Americans, have a hard time catching apocalyptic visions when they benefit too much from the status quo to want a peek behind the curtain.

Attachment principles teach us that most people are only as needy as their unmet needs. When their emotional needs are met, and the earlier the better, they usually turn their attention outward.

The study demonstrates that when two people form an intimate relationship, they regulate each other’s psychological and emotional well-being. Their physical proximity and availability influence the stress response. How can we be expected to maintain a high level of differentiation between ourselves and our partners if our basic biology is influenced by them to such an extent?

Capturing life's moments, one click at a time." - Rachel Levine Photography

We’ve been programmed by evolution to single out a few specific individuals in our lives and make them precious to us.

Fortunately, Marsha went on to meet someone with whom she has a happy life. While with her new partner, she was able to change her job to one more rewarding and to develop a new hobby. She's never again experienced the emotional turmoil that she felt with Craig.

love alone isn't enough to make the relationship work.

They are in the field where they protect their animals: they represent those who care for the vulnerable. They may also remind us of other shepherds: Rebecca, Rachel, Moses, and David.

Before we learned about attachment theory, we took the secures of the world for granted, and even dismissed them as boring. But looking through the attachment prism, we've come to appreciate secure people's talents and abilities. The goofy Homer Simpson like colleague whom we barely noticed was suddenly transformed into a guy with impressive relationship talent who treats his wife admirably, and our get-a-life neighbor suddenly became a perceptive, caring person who keeps the entire family emotionally in check. But not all secure people are homebodies or goofy. You are not settling by going secure! Secures come in all shapes and forms. Many are good-looking and sexy. Whether plain or gorgeous, we've learned to appreciate them all for what they really are—the "supermates" of evolution—and we hope that you will too.

We do have to go out into the world.

If you have a mild form of high blood pressure, being in a satisfying marriage is good for you; spending time in the presence of your partner actually benefits you by lowering your blood pressure to healthier levels.

When our partner is unable to meet our basic attachment needs, we experience a chronic sense of disquiet and tension that leaves us more exposed to various ailments. Not only is our emotional well-being sacrificed when we are in a romantic partnership with someone who doesn't provide a secure base, but so is our physical health.

Our brain assigns our partner the task of being our secure base, the person we use as an emotional anchor and a safe haven, the one we turn to in time of need. We are programmed to seek their emotional availability.

Our partners powerfully affect our ability to thrive in the world. There is no way around that.

You'll learn the emotional price of connecting with someone who has drastically different intimacy needs from your own.

Is love enough?

I found the fact that I caught his eye very flattering.

The comfort of belonging to someone, of not being alone in the world.

All I had to guide me was the common belief that many of us grow up with: The belief that love conquers all. And so I let love conquer me. Nothing was more important to me than being with him.

I shrugged them off, confident that with me, things would be different. Of course, I was wrong.

Inside I had a sinking feeling that something was wrong, but what?

From then on I was always anxious

From then on I was always anxious.

Despite my better judgement, I'd avoid making plans with friends in case he called. I completely lost interest in everything else that was important to me.

Her vitality gave way to anxiousness and insecurity.

Why was such a successful woman acting in such a helpless way? Why would someone whom we've known to be so adaptive to most of life's challenges become so powerless in this one?

Why would Greg send out such mixed signals, although it was clear, even to us, that he did love her?

Adults show patterns of attachment to their romantic partners similar to the patterns of attachment of children with their parents.

Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving; anxious people crave intimacy, are often preoccupied with their relationships, and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back; avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.

In romantic situations, we are programmed to act in a predetermined manner.

Learning about the powerful force of attachment and ways in which to harness it will make a significant difference in your life, as it has in ours.

What happens when the person we rely on most - and in fact depend on emotionally and physically - doesn't fulfill their attachment role?

Physical contact with a spouse can help reduce anxiety in a stressful situation.

Get to know yourself and those around you from an attachment perspective.

The person you know best - yourself.

Attachment styles are stable but plastic.

Although your senses are often accurate, you take your partner's behaviors too personally.

When people hear about attachment styles, they often have no difficulty recognizing their own style.

She takes longer to calm down, and even when she does, it is only temporary.

Without even knowing it - most people give away almost all the information you need.

The trick is to to know what to look for, be a keen observer and ardent listener.

Having a partner who fulfills our intrinsic attachment needs and feels comfortable acting as a secure base and safe haven can help us remain emotionally and physically healthier and live longer. Having a partner who is inconsistently available or supportive can be a truly demoralizing and debilitating experience that can literally stunt our growth.

The quality of their response will speak volumes.

The next time a conflict comes along, you'll be better prepared.

When our partners are thoroughly dependable and make us feel safe, and especially if they know how to reassure us during the hard times, we can turn our attention to all the other aspects of life that make our existence meaningful.

Past failures will be seen in a new light.

You'll start to experience change - change for the better, of course.

It was assumed that adult attachment styles were primarily a product of your upbringing.

If your parents were sensitive, available, and responsive, you should have a secure attachment style; if they were inconsistently responsive, you should develop an anxious attachment style; and if they were distant, rigid, and unresponsive, you should develop an avoidant attachment style.

Attachment styles in adulthood are influenced by a variety of factors, one of which is the way our parents cared for us, but other factors also come into play, including our life experiences.

Though he wanted to be close to her, he felt compelled to push her away.

He pushed her away, because he felt the closeness and intimacy increasing.

Against her better judgment and the advice of close friends, she would do almost anything to try to be close to him.

Their behaviour no longer seemed baffling and complex, but rather predictable under the circumstances.

The need to be close in a relationship is embedded in our genes.

We’ve been programmed by evolution to single out a few specific individuals in our lives and make them precious to us. We’ve been bred to be dependent on a significant other. The need starts in the womb and ends when we die.

In prehistoric times, being close to a partner was a matter of life and death, and our attachment system developed to treat such proximity as an absolute necessity.

For Tamara, the need to remain with Greg was triggered by the very slightest feeling of danger - danger that her lover was out of reach, unresponsive, or in trouble.

Understanding is only the beginning.

While the research made it easy to understand romantic liaisons better, how can we make a difference in them?

Their relationship developed so smoothly she barely discussed it.

Dependency is not a bad word.

He didn't want to succumb to her every whim.

The more effectively dependent people are on one other, the more independent and daring they become.

We've come a long way (but not far enough).

Attachment needs: they're not just for children.

Keep the focus on yourself" and stay on an even keel.

They are a part of me and I will do anything to save them.

Avoidants have attachment needs but actively suppress them.

Most people are only as needy as their unmet needs. When their emotional needs are met, and the earlier the better, they usually turn their attention outward.

How can we be expected to maintain a high level of differentiation between ourselves and our partners if our basic biology is influenced by them to such an extent?

The ability to step into the world on our own often stems from the knowledge that there is someone besides us whom we can count on.

Unfortunately, she later gave in to common misconceptions and viewed her instinct as a weakness.

Once we choose someone special, powerful and often uncontrollable forces come into play. New patterns of behaviour kick in regardless of how independent we are and despite our conscious wills. Once we choose a partner, there is no question about whether dependency exists or not. It always does.

If you want to take the road to independence and happiness, find the right person to depend on and travel it with that person.

The worst possible case scenario is that you will end up needing your partner, which is equated with "addiction" to them, and addiction we all know, is a dangerous prospect.

Our need for someone to share our lives with is part of our genetic makeup and has nothing to do with how much we love ourselves or how fulfilled we feel on our own.

An elegant coexistence that does not include uncomfortable feelings of vulnerability and fear of loss sounds good but is not our biology.

Your well-being is not their responsibility, and theirs is not yours. Each person needs to look after himself or herself.

Adults are capable of a higher level of abstraction, so our need for the other person's continuous physical presence can at times be temporarily replaced by the knowledge that the person is available to us psychologically and emotionally.

The need for intimate connection and the reassurance of our partner's availability continues to play an important role throughout our lives.

Today the significance of adult attachment goes unappreciated. Among adults, the prevailing notion is still that too much dependence in a relationship is a bad thing.

Today's experts offer advice that goes something like this: Your happiness is something that should come from within and should not be dependent.

Once we become attached to someone, the two of us form one psychological unit. Our partner regulates our blood pressure, our heart rate, our breathing, and the levels of hormones in our blood. We are no longer separate entities.

Dependency is a fact; it is not a choice or a preference.

Why would Greg send out such mixed messages, although it was clear, even to us that he did love her?

Why was such a successful woman acting in such a helpless way? Why would somebody whom we've known to be so adaptive to most of life's challenges become powerless in this one?

Are such behaviors effective or worthwhile?

The theory does not label behaviors as healthy or unhealthy.

Tamara's thoughts were focused on assessing whether the new people she met had the capacity to be close and loving in the way that she wanted them to be.

Use their attachment instincts rather than fight them.