Premature Ejaculation Quotes

We've searched our database for all the quotes and captions related to Premature Ejaculation. Here they are! All 21 of them:

The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that it's coming quickly.
Mel Brooks
we, with our propensity for murder, torture, slavery, rape, cannibalism, pillage, advertising jingles, shag carpets, and golf, how could we be seriously considered as the perfection of a four-billion-year-old grandiose experiment? perhaps as a race, we have evolved as far as we are capable, yet that by no means suggests that evolution has called it quits. in all likelihood, it has something beyond human on the drawing board. we tend to refer to our most barbaric and crapulous behavior as "inhuman," whereas, in point of fact, it is exactly human, definitively and quintessentially human, since no other creature habitually indulges in comparable atrocities. this negates neither our occasional virtues nor our aesthetic triumphs, but if a being at least a little bit more than human is not waiting around the bend of time then evolution has suffered a premature ejaculation.
Tom Robbins (Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas)
Outside of muttering his way through Sunday service, Aaron had not voiced a conscious prayer in more than ten years. He supposed it wouldn’t help his chances in the hereafter if he returned to the fold with Saints preserve me from premature ejaculation. No matter how sincerely uttered.
Tessa Dare (Beauty and the Blacksmith (Spindle Cove, #3.5))
Cade Winston, by drinking this shot, you hereby swear to do something out of character tonight. Should you fail, you'll be cused to a lifetime filled with premature ejaculation.' 'Seriously, man?' He held up his hands and laughed, 'Hey, the alcohol gods giveth and they taketh away.
Cora Carmack
Say what you want, princess. You are a recipe for premature ejaculation, if I’ve ever seen one.
Rosanna Leo (For the Love of a God (Greek God, #1))
It's often the way that people who take their work seriously laugh at stupid jokes; it's as if they are under-humored and, as a consequence, suffer from premature laugh-ejaculation.
Nick Hornby (High Fidelity)
The impatient man of courage is like a premature ejaculation.
Elizaveta Mikhailichenko (Preemptive Revenge)
Managing a combined deal between Facebook and Twitter was like trying to engineer simultaneous orgasm between a premature ejaculator and a frigid woman: nigh impossible, fraught with danger, and requiring a very steady hand.
Antonio García Martínez (Chaos Monkeys: Inside the Silicon Valley Money Machine)
Since many men believe that adequate sexual functioning is being able to delay ejaculation, some develop strategies to prevent what they consider to be premature ejaculation-strategies that exaggerate emotional distancing, phallocentrism, the focus on orgasm, and objectification.
Michael S. Kimmel (The Gender of Desire: Essays on Male Sexuality)
What makes ejaculating on the outside degrading... while ejaculating inside... sacred? Do guys learn to come on a woman from porn or from premature ejaculation? [...] For that matter, masturbating guys ejaculate on their own bodies all the time, and not one says, 'Oh God, I just degraded myself.
James R. Petersen
The repentant, run-to-seed ultra-Leftists who have converted to humanitarianism, artificial inseminators of the widow and the orphan, themselves orphans of reality and malades imaginaires of politcs, premature ejaculators of posthistory and hypochondriacs from the dead body of ideology and morality.
Jean Baudrillard (Fragments)
Don’t go playing hero,” he said. “Just find out if he’s there. Something gets out of hand, you get out of there pronto.” “Okay.” “And we should have a code word. Something you say if you need me.” Esperanza nodded, feigning seriousness. “If I say the words premature ejaculation, it means I want you to come.
Harlan Coben (Back Spin (Myron Bolitar, #4))
Many women live in sexless marriages because the husband prefers pornography. Or he’s used porn so much for so long that he suffers from erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or delayed ejaculation, all of which increase with porn use. Without the stimulation of pornography and masturbation, many men are unable to maintain an erection or reach climax.
Sheila Wray Gregoire (The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You've Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended)
Prostitution is the relationship or marriage without the romance, commitment, promises, lies, etc.… and the mattering of the man’s sexual performance.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The following are a few of the ways Nice Guys unconsciously maintain a monogamous bond to their mothers. Look over the list. Note any of the behavior patterns that may serve to keep you monogamous to your mother. Share this information with a safe person. •​Over-involvement with work or hobbies. •​Creating relationships with people who need fixing. •​Addictions to drugs or alcohol. •​Sexual addictions to pornography, masturbation, fantasy, chat lines, or hookers. •​Affairs. •​Sexual dysfunction — lack of desire, inability to get or maintain an erection, or premature ejaculation. •​Forming relationships with women who are angry, sick, depressive, compulsive, addicted, unfaithful, or otherwise unavailable. •​Avoiding intercourse or taking vows of celibacy.
Robert A. Glover (No More Mr. Nice Guy)
While I have seen some cases of rape turn into murder as a result of premature ejaculation or failure to achieve or maintain erection on the part of the attacker, it tends to be with two specific rapist typologies—the anger-retaliatory rapist and the exploitative rapist. These guys tend to focus on adult women as their victims, and if the premature ejaculation or similar embarrassment results in either a mocking response from the victim or a loss of face for the attacker, then the situation can turn dire.
John E. Douglas (The Killer Across the Table)
You cracked up. You were looking at me and laughing. And I said, What? And you said, I love you. And we were both completely shocked. Because it was a little premature, surely. And you said it again, as though you were checking the flavor, and it tasted perfectly right. You said it again, softly, I love you; you were looking right into my heart. You said it again, almost shouting. And you were laughing and it was as though you were so happy you couldn't believe that someone had given you this good thing. And it was partly that, and it was partly because you were thinking you'd had a premature decision, whereas guys your age were more generally associated with premature ejaculation. As well as inability to speak girl and commitment problems to anything other than games with buttons. And the best part was when you said, You love me, too. And all I had to do was nod. Because it was true.
Fiona Wood
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The Enfield I’ve realized, is really a temperamental woman disguised as a motorcycle and ours is not a relationship of convenience. Sometimes she can be adamant and uncooperative and very difficult to reason with. She can sense my moods and even my intentions. Once, attracted to a more advanced model, I had considered a trading alliance with her. The modern motorcycle beckoned me enticingly from billboards and newspapers in full seductive colour. I visited the showroom and took a test ride on the sleeker machine. This new one felt different. Lighter and easily excited into full flight with her ‘0 to 100 in x seconds’ flat! To an Enfield, that’s premature ejaculation.
Ajit Harisinghani (One Life To Ride: A Motorcycle Journey To The High Himalayas)
The whole thing was as disappointing as premature ejaculation. It was over before I’d even had a chance to appreciate any of the flavors.
Holly Bloom (Killer Candy (Lapland Underground, #1))
The English version of this term, putting the cart before the horse, suggests haste – and there is indeed a kind of premature quality to this play that is so shaped by youthful impatience and hurry, with its adolescent protagonists rushing towards their destiny, heedless of Friar Lawrence’s caution: ‘Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow’ (2.5.15). Lots of elements of this play are about coming too soon, and the sexual pun is somehow unavoidable: Romeo and Juliet is shaped as the structural equivalent of premature ejaculation. If, as many theorists have conjectured, the pleasure we take in narrative is somehow paced like sexual pleasure – enjoying anticipation, foreplay and climax – then this play needs to learn to take its time.
Emma Smith (This Is Shakespeare)