Positive Self Esteem Quotes

We've searched our database for all the quotes and captions related to Positive Self Esteem. Here they are! All 200 of them:

Dare to love yourself as if you were a rainbow with gold at both ends.
Aberjhani (Journey through the Power of the Rainbow: Quotations from a Life Made Out of Poetry)
Life is like a game of chess. To win you have to make a move. Knowing which move to make comes with IN-SIGHT and knowledge, and by learning the lessons that are acculated along the way. We become each and every piece within the game called life!
Allan Rufus (The Master's Sacred Knowledge)
Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.
Louise L. Hay (You Can Heal Your Life)
Be an Encourager: When you encourage others, you boost their self-esteem, enhance their self-confidence, make them work harder, lift their spirits and make them successful in their endeavors. Encouragement goes straight to the heart and is always available. Be an encourager. Always.
Roy T. Bennett (The Light in the Heart)
Dignity will only happen when you realize that having someone in your life doesn’t validate your worth.
Shannon L. Alder
Once you embrace your value, talents and strengths, it neutralizes when others think less of you.
Rob Liano
Life is like a sandwich! Birth as one slice, and death as the other. What you put in-between the slices is up to you. Is your sandwich tasty or sour? Allan Rufus.org
Allan Rufus
The only real conflict you will ever have in your life won’t be with others, but with yourself.
Shannon L. Alder
Chasing a man is not winning. The only thing you win is the loss of your dignity. Confidence is knowing your value, instead of expecting a man’s love to provide you with value.
Shannon L. Alder
You've been criticising yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.
Louise L. Hay
Your comfort zone is a place where you keep yourself in a self-illusion and nothing can grow there but your potentiality can grow only when you can think and grow out of that zone.
Rashedur Ryan Rahman
It is not until you change your identity to match your life blueprint that you will understand why everything in the past never worked.
Shannon L. Alder
We are exactly what our history made us to be.
Stephen Richards (Boost Your Self Esteem)
Accepting personal responsibility for your life frees you from outside influences – increases your self-esteem – boosts confidence in your ability to decisions – and ultimately leads to achieve success in life.
Roy T. Bennett
Make peace with yourself before you move forward. Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward.
Roy T. Bennett
Hard work does not go unnoticed, and someday the rewards will follow
Allan Rufus (The Master's Sacred Knowledge)
What we perceive about ourselves is greatly a reflection of how we will end up living our lives.
Stephen Richards (Boost Your Self Esteem)
If your love for another person doesn’t include loving yourself then your love is incomplete.
Shannon L. Alder
Sometimes your belief system is really your fears attached to rules.
Shannon L. Alder
You are not an option, a choice or a soft place to land after a long battle. You were meant to be the one. If you can wrap yourself around the idea that you are something incredible, then you will stop excusing behavior that rapes your very soul. You were never meant to teach someone to love you. You were meant to be loved.
Shannon L. Alder
Unrequited love is the only emotion that allows sane people to taste the “life sentence” of someone with bipolar disorder. The longer they hang onto a lost cause the more unstable they look to everyone else. They contradict their own belief systems and statements, by circling the drain with two competing emotions—love and hate.
Shannon L. Alder
To turn your dreams into reality, all your resources, efforts and concentration should be aligned in the same direction.
Roopleen
The way you see people is the way you treat them, and the way you treat them is what they become.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I think your whole life shows in your face and you should be proud of that.
Lauren Bacall
Advice to my younger self: 1 Start where you are with what you have 2 Try not to hurt other people 3 Take more chances 4 If you fail, keep trying
Germany Kent
The first place where self-esteem begins its journey is within us.
Stephen Richards (Boost Your Self Esteem)
Genuine self-acceptance is not derived from the power of positive thinking, mind games or pop psychology. IT IS AN ACT OF FAITH in the God of grace.
Brennan Manning (The Ragamuffin Gospel)
A failure is always in the passenger seat in his or her life.
Stephen Richards (Boost Your Self Esteem)
Each person has got a voice inside them. Communicate with it and take hold of it. Do not let it push and shove you around – you are its master!
Stephen Richards (Boost Your Self Esteem)
Here’s a little secret that’s going to save you a LOT of unnecessary grief in life. Are you ready? Your worth is not tied to any person.
Mandy Hale (The Single Woman–Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass: Embracing Singleness with Confidence)
Don't ever stop believing in your own transformation. It is still happening even on days you may not realize it or feel like it.
Lalah Delia
Unless we take that first step into the unknown, we will never know our own potential!
Allan Rufus (The Master's Sacred Knowledge)
The most incredible architecture Is the architecture of Self, which is ever changing, evolving, revolving and has unlimited beauty and light inside which radiates outwards for everyone to see and feel. With every in breathe you are adding to your life and every out breathe you are releasing what is not contributing to your life. Every breathe is a re-birth.
Allan Rufus (The Master's Sacred Knowledge)
Vulnerability really means to be strong and secure enough within yourself that you are able to walk outside without your armor on. You are able to show up in life as just you. That is genuine strength and courage. Armor may look tough, but all it does is mask insecurity and fear.
Alaric Hutchinson (Living Peace: Essential Teachings For Enriching Life)
Note and Quote to Self – What you think, say and do! Your life mainly consists of 3 things! What you think, What you say and What you do! So always be very conscious of what you are co-creating!
Allan Rufus (The Master's Sacred Knowledge)
A good self-esteem level is mostly dependant on how we value ourselves without any bias.
Stephen Richards (Boost Your Self Esteem)
How we relate with other people is dependent on how we rate ourselves and what we think about ourselves.
Stephen Richards (Boost Your Self Esteem)
Never let the thoughts of self-unworthiness re-arrange your prepared passion for failure. You can do it even if others say you can't. But you cannot do it if you tell yourself you can't.
Israelmore Ayivor
NOTE TO SELF – BOOMERANG EFFECT My words, thoughts and deeds have a boomerang effect. So be-careful what you send out!
Allan Rufus (The Master's Sacred Knowledge)
Dear Child, Sometimes on your travel through hell, you meet people that think they are in heaven because of their cleverness and ability to get away with things. Travel past them because they don't understand who they have become and never will. These type of people feel justified in revenge and will never learn mercy or forgiveness because they live by comparison. They are the people that don't care about anyone, other than who is making them feel confident. They don’t understand that their deity is not rejoicing with them because of their actions, rather he is trying to free them from their insecurities, by softening their heart. They rather put out your light than find their own. They don't have the ability to see beyond the false sense of happiness they get from destroying others. You know what happiness is and it isn’t this. Don’t see their success as their deliverance. It is a mask of vindication which has no audience, other than their own kind. They have joined countless others that call themselves “survivors”. They believe that they are entitled to win because life didn’t go as planned for them. You are not like them. You were not meant to stay in hell and follow their belief system. You were bound for greatness. You were born to help them by leading. Rise up and be the light home. You were given the gift to see the truth. They will have an army of people that are like them and you are going to feel alone. However, your family in heaven stands beside you now. They are your strength and as countless as the stars. It is time to let go! Love, Your Guardian Angel
Shannon L. Alder
Not enough people realize that ADHD is not a disorder about loss of focus. It is a disorder of loss of emotional control, which is triggered by outside influences, self-esteem and our interpretation of events. Whether this is positive or negative it triggers us to hyper focus on what consumes our thoughts. Staying positive is critical and distancing oneself from hurtful people is essential, in order to live a life with purpose.
Shannon L. Alder
Stop giving people the power to control your smile, your worth, your attitude and your day. Don’t give anyone that much power over your life.
Germany Kent
A person today who seems to have a great sense of self-esteem has his or her childhood days to thank for it.
Stephen Richards (Boost Your Self Esteem)
Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward.
Roy Bennett
Many Christians... find themselves defeated by the most psychological weapon that Satan uses against them. This weapon has the effectiveness of a deadly missile. Its name? Low self-esteem. Satan's greatest psychological weapon is a gut level feeling of inferiority, inadequacy, and low self-worth This feeling shackles many Christians, in spite of wonderful spiritual experiences and knowledge of God's Word. Although they understand their position as sons and daughters of God, they are tied up in knots, bound by a terrible feeling inferiority, and chained to a deep sense of worthlessness.
David A. Seamands (Healing for Damaged Emotions (Authentic Classics))
Quotes and notes to self – Find your inner peace! Don’t be caught up in your outer world. Pay greater attention to your inner world
Allan Rufus
When you’re comfortable and content with who you are, the voices of others who try and define, control or direct you are not important.
Rachel Robins (How To Feel Good About Yourself - Boost Your Confidence & Tackle Low Self Esteem. Packed with Self Improvement Techniques, Positive Thinking Tips & Inspirational Quotes)
In a culture which holds the two-parent patriarchal family in higher esteem than any other arrangement, all children feel emotionally insecure when their family does not measure up to the standard. A utopian vision of the patriarchal family remains intact despite all the evidence which proves that the well-being of children is no more secure in the dysfunctional male-headed household than in the dysfunctional female-headed household. Children need to be raised in loving environments. Whenever domination is present love is lacking. Loving parents, be they single or coupled, gay or straight, headed by females or males, are more likely to raise healthy, happy children with sound self-esteem. In future feminist movement we need to work harder to show parents the ways ending sexism positively changes family life. Feminist movement is pro-family. Ending patriarchal domination of children, by men or women, is the only way to make the family a place where children can be safe, where they can be free, where they can know love
bell hooks (Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics)
Winning is great, but if it's not enough then then you'll never have enough!
Stephen Richards
If someone does not consider those around them to be valuable and hold only themselves in high regard, they too have a very bad self-esteem.
Stephen Richards (Boost Your Self Esteem)
Don't water your weeds
Harvey MacKay
Don’t dwell too much on the past. The lessons are useful for the present and a preparation for the future. Move on!
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
The goal is to learn to be nurturing with yourself so you can feel free.
Deborah Day
Enlightenment is the Goal - Love is the Game - Taking steps are the rules! - Allan Rufus
Allan Rufus
Positive thinking is powerful thinking. If you want happiness, fulfillment, success and inner peace, start thinking you have the power to achieve those things. Focus on the bright side of life and expect positive results.
Germany Kent
More often than not, people who are obsessed with their desires and feelings are generally unhappier in life vs. people that refocus their attention on service to others or a righteous cause. Have you ever heard someone say their life sucked because they fed the homeless? Made their children laugh? Or, bought a toy for a needy child at Christmas time?
Shannon L. Alder
Believe in yourself. Under-confidence leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy that you are not good enough for your work.
Roopleen
Attitude is that little thing that will make the most difference in the accomplishment of your goals.
Roopleen
Note to Self – Thoughts design my energy! My thoughts WILL design the energy that moves me!
Allan Rufus
Why should her lover, just because he is male, be in a position to judge her against other women? Why must she need to know her position and hate needing to, and hate knowing? Why should his reply have such exaggerated power? And it does. He does not know that what he says will affect the way she feels when they next make love. She is angry for a number of good reasons that may have nothing to do with this particular man's intentions. The exchange reminds her that, in spite of a whole fabric of carefully woven equalities, they are not equal in this way that is so crucial that its snagged thread unravels the rest.
Naomi Wolf (The Beauty Myth)
Learning is a matter of gathering knowledge; wisdom is applying that knowledge.
Roopleen
Extra miles, extensive preparation and exhaustive efforts usually show astonishing results.
Roopleen
Don't be a reflection of your depression, your dark, or your ugly. Reflect what you want. Your light, your beauty, & your strength. Aspire for greatness - reflect who you are; not which deficits you maintain. Showcase the hidden treasures.
Tiffany Luard
Our own self-esteem is something we can actually twist in whatever way we want.
Stephen Richards (Boost Your Self Esteem)
Every morning, look in the mirror and affirm positive words into your life.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
You cannot wish for happiness but you can work towards your life goals and create lasting happiness.
Roopleen
If we can acquire an attitude of self-belief, then we will surely determine our future actions and our future life opportunities.
Stephen Richards (Boost Your Self Esteem)
You are the hybrids of golden worlds and ages splendidly conceived.
Aberjhani (Journey through the Power of the Rainbow: Quotations from a Life Made Out of Poetry)
Your VISION and your self-willingness is the MOST powerful elements to conquer your goal
Rashedur Ryan Rahman
Celebrating your achievements and applauding your triumphs is a sure way to refuel your enthusiasm and keep yourself motivated for your future endeavours.
Roopleen
Saying thanks to the world, and acknowledging your own accomplishments, is a great way to feel good and stay positive.
Rachel Robins (How To Feel Good About Yourself - Boost Your Confidence & Tackle Low Self Esteem. Packed with Self Improvement Techniques, Positive Thinking Tips & Inspirational Quotes)
Insecurity is the lack of trust in your abilities and worth. When you enter into a secured state of consciousness, everything that helped boost your confidence will return.
Itohan Eghide (The Book of Maxims, Poems and Anecdotes)
The subconscious mind is the guiding force for your entire life.
Kevin Michel (Moving Through Parallel Worlds To Achieve Your Dreams)
To be able to live each day with honor, respect and dignity is the greatest achievement of all.
Roopleen
Like food is to the body, self-talk is to the mind. Don't let any junk thoughts repeat in your head.
Maddy Malhotra (How to Build Self-Esteem and Be Confident: Overcome Fears, Break Habits, Be Successful and Happy)
Happiness is a choice you make when you allow faith through the entry gate and fear through the exit gate.
Roopleen
My priority is not about grades. I seek yearn for knowledge, skills and wisdom.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
All positive interactions with other human beings involve, to some degree, the experience of visibility-- that is, the experience of being seen and understood.
Nathaniel Branden
What I am in the eyes of most people - a nonentity, an eccentric, or an unpleasant person - somebody who has no position in society and will never have; in short, the lowest of the low. All right, then - even if that were absolutely true, then I should like to show by my work what such an eccentric, such a nobody, has in his heart.
Vincent van Gogh
I wish you all an ego free driven day!
Allan Rufus (The Master's Sacred Knowledge)
To experience positive/healthy emotions you don’t need a big house or a nice car or a managerial job or a million dollar in your bank.
Maddy Malhotra (How to Build Self-Esteem and Be Confident: Overcome Fears, Break Habits, Be Successful and Happy)
Why would I want to be like everyone elsewhen I could be myself? I am curious, unique, and proud to be me, so I stumbled out of this box without making a sound.
Kim Hebert (In the Land of Boxes)
Never seek to please anyone. Seek to evolve thyself.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
Hardships refine a man to what he ought to be.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
Everyone at some point in life have faced rejection and failure, it is part of the process to self realisation.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
Let the gladness of your soul blossom.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
Your actions show what you know, and your replies to obstacles give clarity into what you will learn.
Grace Sara (Awakening in the 21st Century: Considering Existence)
You can perhaps, in a number of circumstances, tell yourself that you can't have more than you have until you do better than you're doing, but by all means steer clear of its reverse, the creed of defeat, in saying that you can't do better than you're doing until you can have more than you have.
Criss Jami (Healology)
Why don't we learn about the mental health which affects every minute of our lives? ... Where is the school for learning [about] positive mental health?
Maddy Malhotra (How to Build Self-Esteem and Be Confident: Overcome Fears, Break Habits, Be Successful and Happy)
The grace of endurance is the great power of God at work within us.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
Take the time out to have a look at yourself, it might help you to appreciate yourself better.
Shampa Sharma
God never uses one approach to the get his job done in the world. Each soul has its own way of being reached. He has put inside of each of us an unique song, that only another heart can hear clearly. To wish you were someone else robs another human being of the special blessings, talents and gifts God meant for you to share.
Shannon L. Alder
Depression, anger, and sadness are states of mind, and so are happiness, peace, and contentment. You can choose to be in any of these states because it's your mind.
Maddy Malhotra (How to Build Self-Esteem and Be Confident: Overcome Fears, Break Habits, Be Successful and Happy)
Failing to make it to the list of the best 5 students in class or not being named the team captain should not make anyone feel like they have failed.
Stephen Richards (Boost Your Self Esteem)
Rewriting the negative beliefs you have learned is the essence of becoming the director of your life.
Deborah Day
Beliefs that are good promote your potential and enhance your unique special qualities.
Deborah Day
Don’t believe negative voices. Listen to the divine-instinct of awaken soul.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Think Great: Be Great! (Beautiful Quotes, #1))
The greatest obsession is I believe in myself.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Think Great: Be Great! (Beautiful Quotes, #1))
There is nothing in this world that you cannot do. Every goal is achievable. You just need to focus on your objectives, be persistent in your efforts and work hard to make it happen. There can be no hurdle uncrossable, no obstacle invincible and no stumbling block insurmountable.
Roopleen
Find your bones. Believe in what you are.
Grace Sara
Your body is the piece of the universe you've been given; as long as you have a pulse, it presents you with an ongoing shower of immediate sensate experiences.
Geneen Roth (Women, Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything)
Taking care of yourself will take care of more than yourself.
Grace Sara
It is not important for life to meet your great expectations. What is important is that you hold high expectations of yourself and meet them greatly.
Roopleen
Quotes and notes to self- Divine and Unique Power Find out what my Individual Divine and Unique Power IS and offer it outwards in harmony with all life!
Allan Rufus (The Master's Sacred Knowledge)
Your opinions about me does not change who I am. I am God’s special possession.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Think Great: Be Great! (Beautiful Quotes, #1))
Opinions of others may temporary influence your decisions. But you ought to follow your own inner voice.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Think Great: Be Great! (Beautiful Quotes, #1))
Autumn is a momentum of the natures golden beauty…, so the same it’s time to find your momentum of life
Rashedur Ryan Rahman
By making yourself a life-long leaner you’ll keep discovering new and exciting things about yourself and others.
Rachel Robins (How To Feel Good About Yourself - Boost Your Confidence & Tackle Low Self Esteem. Packed with Self Improvement Techniques, Positive Thinking Tips & Inspirational Quotes)
Good self-esteem comes from positive self-imaging. Positive self-image make you to resist wrong definitions others give about you, guiding you to live life with enthusiasm and will!
Israelmore Ayivor (The Great Hand Book of Quotes)
My sister said Mary Elizabeth is suffering from low self-esteem, but I told her that she said the same thing about Sam back in November when she started dating Craig, and Sam is completely different. Everything can't be low self-esteem, can it? My sister tried to clarify things. She said that by introducing me to all these great things, Mary Elizabeth gained a "superior position" that she wouldn't need if she was confident about herself. She also said that people who try to control situations all the time are afraid that if they don't, nothing will work out the way they want.
Stephen Chbosky (The Perks of Being a Wallflower)
Your traditional EDUCATION is not going to CHANGE your life but the life you are experiencing that can change you. Choose a POSITIVE life STYLE with positive ATTITUDE which could bring you a life with HAPPINESS and WISDOM
Rashedur Ryan Rahman
A person who really likes himself or herself has high self-esteem and therefore a positive self-concept. When you really like yourself in a particular role, you perform at your best in that role.
Brian Tracy (The Psychology of Selling: Increase Your Sales Faster and Easier Than You Ever Thought Possible)
In many situations, the only thing you can control is your own response. Changing self-talk from negative to positive is an excellent way to manage that response. Anger destroys your health and relationships.
Maddy Malhotra (How to Build Self-Esteem and Be Confident: Overcome Fears, Break Habits, Be Successful and Happy)
Jealousy, and attempting to match others in life and stride, is self-abandonment.
Grace Sara (Awakening in the 21st Century)
We are so desperate to be in love with someone else that we forget to love ourself...what a tragedy!
Jasz Gill
What are you addicted to: being thankful for your blessings or moaning about your problems?
Maddy Malhotra (How to Build Self-Esteem and Be Confident: Overcome Fears, Break Habits, Be Successful and Happy)
You can make a difference, wherever you are. It begins with a decision and defined purpose.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Think Great: Be Great! (Beautiful Quotes, #1))
There is no limit to life. The only limit is the limit you put into life.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Think Great: Be Great! (Beautiful Quotes, #1))
Your every positive action in your life will increase your self-esteem and this self-esteem will boost you for more positive action to take you on success
Rashedur Ryan Rahman
Inherent within your soul is a greater light, recognize and radiate it.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
How you think and create your inner world that you gonna become in your outer world. Your inner believe manifest you in the outside
Rashedur Ryan Rahman
Positive mindset, positive lifestyle.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
It's easy and natural to be thankful when your expectations are met. The real test of your faith is when things don't go your way, or when you are in pain.
Maddy Malhotra (How to Build Self-Esteem and Be Confident: Overcome Fears, Break Habits, Be Successful and Happy)
Renew your mind every morning with pure thoughts.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
The surest path to positive self-esteem is to succeed at something which one perceived would be difficult. Each time we steal a student’s struggle by insisting they do work too easy for them, we steal their opportunity to have an esteem-building experience.
Sylvia B. Rimm
How foolish we are to keep repeating the negative memories from the past in our minds, while rarely thinking of the good times, nor being thankful for what we have. Be good to yourself and repeat and focus on the positive.
Maddy Malhotra (How to Build Self-Esteem and Be Confident: Overcome Fears, Break Habits, Be Successful and Happy)
You are not a victim. You are a willing participant that has created your own anxiety through your negative mind, insecurities and actions. If you want to secure your future then the only way is through love, forgiveness and the willingness to admit you have participated in the uncomfortableness you are experiencing now. Stop telling yourself you are justified in hate, indifference, silence or bias. You are not. You can't build a positive life through battling others. The world is full of victims. No one wants to hear that story. People want to know how you did what the majority wouldn't do-you forgave and built up your enemies. It is seems totally rare and unheard of these days to swallow your pain and take the high road, but guess what? Those are the leaders that people admire and want to know. Those are the 1% who change the world and people's lives. So why do you want to be like the world when you can be beyond it?
Shannon L. Alder
If you are not EXCITED enough at your present life its mean your future is not EXITING. Excitement will give you ENTHUSIASM and enthusiasm will give you a positive energetic LIFE STYLE which could give you a successful exiting life…
Rashedur Ryan Rahman
Most people think the more money, luxury or fame they have, the more successful they are; but I think that the true sign of success depends on how many positive emotions they experience each day.
Maddy Malhotra (How to Build Self-Esteem and Be Confident: Overcome Fears, Break Habits, Be Successful and Happy)
Surrendering is not giving up--it is gaining strength.
Grace Sara (Awakening in the 21st Century)
It is not so much about fighting against the ego; it is more about harmonizing with it.
Grace Sara (Awakening in the 21st Century)
What you think of yourself is more important than what other people think of you.
Nicky Verd
Failure is not the end of life. It is the beginning of a greater success, if thy will persist.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
There is no need for comparison. Be happy with yourself and find satisfaction in your work.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Think Great: Be Great! (Beautiful Quotes, #1))
In all spheres of life, there are constraints. You have to develop your own strategy to overcome each constraint.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Think Great: Be Great! (Beautiful Quotes, #1))
Words are life. We are our words. Choose your words carefully.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
In evaluating ourselves, we tend to be long on our weaknesses and short on our strengths.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Exercise promotes positive self-image and good well-being.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Think Great: Be Great! (Beautiful Quotes, #1))
You will find the reality of life by reading.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
Transform from being a fault-finder and blamer to a happiness-finder and appreciator.
Maddy Malhotra (How to Build Self-Esteem and Be Confident: Overcome Fears, Break Habits, Be Successful and Happy)
Hang on! Don’t give up.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
Blessed is the person who desired to read the Holy Scriptures. It’s brings great reward to those who believe, trust and obey the Holy instructions.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
You have to conquer every mountain to fulfill the dream.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
How many green lights do you need in order to proceed?
Torron-Lee Dewar (Creativity is Everything)
We cannot be of any good to other people unless we are first good to ourselves.
Dee Waldeck
Self Love is a romance of its own kind. Remember self love does not imply being selfish and just thinking about your own happiness. I believe it is an idea which revolves around acceptance of yourself as you are so that you can accept others as they are. It is a principle of loving your own being so that you are full of love and positivity. It is about coming to peace with your own self and letting go of your past wounds, it is about healing. Self Love is about becoming a butterfly from a caterpillar. It is about personal development, it is about an evolution. Self Love is about seeing yourself through your own eyes.
Jasz Gill
And a variety of more colorful names. Hypothetically.” The privateer cast him an assessing glance. “Just how did you know I wasn’t who I claimed to be, Mister Brekker?” Kaz shrugged. “You speak Kerch like a native—a rich native. You don’t talk like someone who came up with sailors and street thugs.” The privateer turned slightly, giving Kaz his full attention. His ease was gone, and now he looked like a man who might command armies. “Mister Brekker,” he said. “Kaz, if I may? I am in a vulnerable position. I am a king ruling a country with an empty treasury, facing enemies on all sides. There are also forces within my country that might seize any absence as an opportunity to make their own bid for power.” “So you’re saying you’d make an excellent hostage.” “I suspect that the ransom for me would be considerably less than the price Kuwei has on his head. Really, it’s a bit of a blow to my self-esteem.” “You don’t seem to be suffering,” said Kaz. “Sturmhond was a creation of my youth, and his reputation still serves me well. I cannot bid on Kuwei Yul-Bo as the king of Ravka. I hope your plan will play out the way you think it will. But if it doesn’t, the loss of such a prize would be seen as a humiliating blunder diplomatically and strategically. I enter that auction as Sturmhond or as no one at all. If that is a problem—” Kaz settled his hands on his cane. “As long as you don’t try to con me, you can enter as the Fairy Queen of Istamere.
Leigh Bardugo (Crooked Kingdom (Six of Crows, #2))
One day I realized, I am what I'm looking for. The love I've been searching the world for. When I devoutly love myself it's fulfilling, and it attracts others. They fight to love me twice as much.
Euphoria Godsent
As sinners we are like addicts - addicted to ourselves and our own projects. The theology of glory simply seeks to give those projects eternal legitimacy. The remedy for the theology of glory, therefore, cannot be encouragement and positive thinking, but rather the end of the addictive desire. Luther says it directly: "The remedy for curing desire does not lie in satisfying it, but in extinguishing it." So we are back to the cross, the radical intervention, end of the life of the old and the beginning of the new. Since the theology of glory is like addiction and not abstract doctrine, it is a temptation over which we have no control in and of ourselves, and from which we must be saved. As with the addict, mere exhortation and optimistic encouragement will do no good. It may be intended to build up character and self-esteem, but when the addict realizes the impossibility of quitting, self-esteem degenerates all the more. The alcoholic will only take to drinking in secret, trying to put on the facade of sobriety. As theologians of glory we do much the same. We put on a facade of religious propriety and piety and try to hide or explain away or coddle our sins.... As with the addict there has to be an intervention, an act from without. In treatment of alcoholics some would speak of the necessity of 'bottoming out,' reaching the absolute bottom where one can no longer escape the need for help. Then it is finally evident that the desire can never be satisfied, but must be extinguished. In matters of faith, the preaching of the cross is analogous to that intervention. It is an act of God, entirely from without. It does not come to feed the religious desires of the Old Adam and Eve but to extinguish them. They are crucified with Christ to be made new.
Gerhard O. Forde (On Being a Theologian of the Cross: Reflections on Luther's Heidelberg Disputation, 1518 (Theology))
I think it all basically breaks down to something like this: You have to look and feel great first. If you eat well, exercise and get enough sleep, you will have ample energy and the proper self-confidence to create and produce beyond your wildest dreams! Looking great and radiating positive energy, while presenting your highest quality work, is what will always make you the most valuable and only logical choice in whatever it is that you reach for.
Jennifer Elisabeth (Born Ready: Unleash Your Inner Dream Girl)
Your beliefs can be a prison system created by your mind for yourself. But the door is not locked. If you are aware, you can always come out of that.
Amit Ray (Peace Bliss Beauty and Truth: Living with Positivity)
Never waste your energy to dwell on the past failures and mistakes. May you find renewed energy, courage and hope to pursue new adventures.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
Be confident, be courageous!
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
You are wonderful. You are beautiful.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
You are capable of anything. Dream great dreams.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
It is better to hope than despair.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
Arise and pursue your dreams.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
Life is an individual race of endurance.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Think Great: Be Great! (Beautiful Quotes, #1))
With perseverance and endurance you can survive any storm.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
Be assertive, in speech and in conduct.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Think Great: Be Great! (Beautiful Quotes, #1))
Sometimes life may take you down an unexpected path, but keep an open mind, for that may be the exact path you're supposed to be on at that particular point in time.
Alicia Emamdee (Aloha Self-Esteem?)
If you believe in your dream with all your heart, you can achieve it.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
Positive self-esteem must be preceded by self-respect. To get self-respect you have to do something good.
Louis Zamperini
The courage to dream, the courage to act.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
Every morning, look in the mirror. You are beautiful and wonderful.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
CONFIDENCE is not showing off your VANITY, it’s about to be HUMBLED and KIND to others what are you truly SKILLED and PROFESSIONAL about…
Rashedur Ryan Rahman
Don’t believe the negative criticisms.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Think Great: Be Great! (Beautiful Quotes, #1))
You must passionately pursue all your dreams.
Lailah Gifty Akita (Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind)
Never second guess a BBW
Patrice Brown (A Fat Girl's Confidence: Beating Depression and Building Self Esteem)
24. (fr) Psychologists use the term "socialization” to designate the process by which children are trained to think and act as society demands. A person is said to be well socialized if he believes in and obeys the moral code of his society and fits in well as a functioning part of that society. It may seem senseless to say that many leftists are over-socialized, since the leftist is perceived as a rebel. Nevertheless, the position can be defended. 25. (fr) The moral code of our society is so demanding that no one can think, feel and act in a completely moral way. For example, we are not supposed to hate anyone, yet almost everyone hates somebody at some time or other, whether he admits it to himself or not. Some people are so highly socialized that the attempt to think, feel and act morally imposes a severe burden on them. In order to avoid feelings of guilt, they continually have to deceive themselves about their own motives and find moral explanations for feelings and actions that in reality have a nonmoral origin. We use the term "oversocialized” to describe such people. 26. (fr) Oversocialization can lead to low self-esteem, a sense of powerlessness, defeatism, guilt, etc. One of the most important means by which our society socializes children is by making them feel ashamed of behavior or speech that is contrary to society’s expectations.
Theodore John Kaczynski (Industrial Society and Its Future)
Feeling inferior or unworthy is like a flashing red light letting you know an EIRS or a drama triangle may be sucking you in. If you learn to interpret inferiority sensations as warnings that someone is trying to use you for their own self-esteem needs, you can step back and maintain your autonomy and positive self-concept.
Lindsay C. Gibson (Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries & Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy)
Every morning, you have a choice either to make your day relaxed or stressful. To be thankful for what you have or to complain about what you don’t have. To count your achievements and celebrate them, or to dwell on the mistakes of your past and feel bad. To take action to make things better, or to continue on in mediocrity.
Maddy Malhotra (How to Build Self-Esteem and Be Confident: Overcome Fears, Break Habits, Be Successful and Happy)
You have to evaluate your relationships and eliminate the relationships that are not bringing you positivity and growth. We need to be around people who encourage us, uplift us, and promote positivity.
Tisha Marie Payton, MHR (Live Self-Sufficiently: The 12 Step Living Guide)
Do you want to be in your own story or on the outside writing about it? Everyone battles fear and uncertainty every day. However, the only failure in life is believing that your value relies on other people's approval or resources. The reality is this: When you are living your authentic self and not how people want you to act, then you are free to use the full spectrum of your creativity and gifts. People don't need resources to get out of any life situation. They need creativity to create resources. When you realize that, becoming stuck is impossible.
Shannon L. Alder
You think it's so easy to change yourself. You think it's so easy, but it's not True, things don't stay the same forever: couches are replaced, boys leave, you discover a song, your body becomes forever scarred. And with each of these moments you change again, your true self spinning, shifting positions - but always at last it returns to you, like a dancer on the floor. Because throughout it all you are still always, *you*: beautiful and bruised, known and unknowable. And isn't that - just you - enough?
Leila Sales (This Song Will Save Your Life)
People will often tell me that they have a terrible memory. Hearing that kind of attitude, I believe them. Older adults shown a list of negative words about aging, such as: decrepit, senile, handicapped, feeble. perform worse on memory and physical tests than do same-age subjects shown a list of positive words about aging, such as: wise, elder, vibrant, experienced. Like people, your memory will function better if it has high self-esteem. Speak nicely to and of your memory, and it will remember more and forget less.
Lisa Genova (Remember: The Science of Memory and the Art of Forgetting)
Never give place people in your life with low self-esteem, no vision, negative mindset and stressful. They are your positive energy suckers and make you average of them. Always keep you out of them and save your jet fuel for going more far away.
Lord Robin
This one phrase, "It is my life, I will do what I want," has done more damage than good. People choose to ignore the spirit and derive the meaning that is convenient to them. Such people have tied this phrase to selfishness and I'm sure that was not the intent. These people forget that we don't live in isolation. What you do affects me and what I do affects you. We are connected. We have to realize that we are sharing this planet and we must learn to behave responsibly. There are two kinds of people in this world--takers and givers. Takers eat well and givers sleep well. Givers have high self-esteem, a positive attitude, and they serve society. By serving society, I do not mean a run-of-the-mill pseudo leader-turned- politician who serves himself by pretending to serve others. As human beings, we all have the need to receive and take. But a healthy personality with high self-esteem is one that not only has its need to take but also to give.
Shiv Khera (You Can Win : A Step by Step Tool for Top Achievers)
when you become addict in to MATERIAL things in life then the TRUE natural life start to run away from you, YES! it's can give you certain pleasure in the society but in the same time it will sabotage your true HAPPINESS of life which we could have simply with GRATITUDE and FORGIVENESS
Rashedur Ryan Rahman
Self-esteem is not what the individual consciously thinks about himself; it’s the quality of self-respect manifested in his emotional life and behaviours. By no means are a superficially positive self-image and true self-esteem necessarily identical. In many cases they are not even compatible. People with a grandiose and inflated view of themselves are missing true self-esteem at the core. To compensate for a deep sense of worthlessness, they develop a craving for power and an exaggerated self-evaluation[.]
Gabor Maté (In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction)
Positive Eye Contact Quality time should include loving eye contact. Looking in your child’s eyes with care is a powerful way to convey love from your heart to the heart of your child. Studies have shown that most parents use eye contact in primarily negative ways, either while reprimanding a child or giving very explicit instructions. If you give loving looks only when your child is pleasing you, you are falling into the trap of conditional love. That can damage your child’s personal growth. You want to give enough unconditional love to keep your child’s emotional tank full, and a key way to do this is through proper use of eye contact. Sometimes family members refuse to look at one another as a means of punishment. This is destructive to both adults and children. Kids especially interpret withdrawal of eye contact as disapproval, and this further erodes their self-esteem. Don’t let your demonstration of
Gary Chapman (The 5 Love Languages of Children)
Much popular self-help literature normalizes sexism. Rather than linking habits of being, usually considered innate, to learned behavior that helps maintain and support male domination, they act as those these difference are not value laden or political but are rather inherent and mystical. In these books male inability and/or refusal to honestly express feelings is often talked about as a positive masculine virtue women should learn to accept rather than a learned habit of behavior that creates emotional isolation and alienation.... Self-help books that are anti-gender equality often present women's overinvestment in nurturance as a 'natural,' inherent quality rather than a learned approach to caregiving. Much fancy footwork takes place to make it seem that New Age mystical evocations of yin and yang, masculine and feminine androgyny, and so on, are not just the same old sexist stereotypes wrapped in more alluring and seductive packaging.
bell hooks (All About Love: New Visions)
Most females are dissatisfied with how they look and battle with countless insecurities, not realizing that you look most beautiful when you think you don’t. I wish that women and girls all over the world knew just how uniquely beautiful that we ALL are. Loving yourself for who YOU are is empowering! There’s great freedom in being unbothered by other people’s opinion of you.
Stephanie Lahart
Positively, the delinquent behavior seems to speak clearly enough. It asks for what we can’t give, but it is in this direction we must go. It asks for manly opportunities to work, make a little money, and have self-esteem; to have some space to bang around in, that is not always somebody’s property; to have better schools to open for them horizons of interest; to have more and better sex without fear or shame; to share somehow in the symbolic goods (like the cars) that are made so much of; to have a community and a country to be loyal to; to claim attention and have a voice. These are not outlandish demands. Certainly they cannot be satisfied directly in our present system; they are baffling. That is why the problem is baffling, and the final recourse is to a curfew, to ordinances against carrying knives, to threatening the parents, to reformatories with newfangled names, and to 1,100 more police on the street.
Paul Goodman (Growing Up Absurd: Problems of Youth in the Organized System)
Not enough people realize that ADHD is not a disorder about loss of focus. It is a disorder of loss of emotional control, which is triggered by outside influences, self-esteem and our interpretation of events. Whether this is positive or negative it triggers us to hyper focus on what consumes our thoughts. Staying positive is critical and distancing oneself from hurtful people is essential, in order to live a life with purpose.
Shannon L. Alder
Some people just can’t seem to deal with any uncertainty in their lives, and time and time again they find themselves imprisoned in situations that kill their happiness, push them towards despair and gradually disintegrate their self-esteem. They don’t realise that in their attempt to avoid uncertainty and the short-term discomfort it might bring, they’re actually inadvertently opting for long-term misery. I believe that the happiness you’ll find across all areas of your life – your work, your relationships and everything in between – will positively correlate to your ability to deal with uncertainty.
Steven Bartlett (Happy Sexy Millionaire)
I know a lot of hot, unconventionally beautiful ladies who kick ass and have sex with rock-star dudes and aren't sorry about it at all. I need to say this loud for the girls in the back of the class: if a dude doesn't want to have to use both hands to grab your ass, that's totally cool; its his choice. But that doesn't make you a piece of shit. You hoist up your saddlebags and go find some dude who thinks you're rad and doesn't mind wiping the sweat off your bottom stomach when you switch sex positions. Don't be all down in the dumps (like a truck truck truck) and let opportunists and perverts take advantage of some low self-esteem you're absolutely too awesome to have.
Samantha Irby (We Are Never Meeting in Real Life.)
It's genius, really: saturate the media with ideal bodies, convince women that they can only be happy if they look like those bodies, sell women products promising to give them those bodies, and when those products don't work, tell the women that it's their fault for not having enough willpower, and sell them more. If women begin to achieve the current ideal body, change the ideal so that they'll need to keep buying products (that don't work) to attain the impossible. Rinse and repeat. They go home rolling in their billions and we're left with shattered self-esteem, empty bank accounts, wasted years, and useless products, and we still blame ourselves instead of seeing it for the manipulation that it is. And all along the whole thing rests on that one big lie, that your body needs to look a certain way in order for you to be happy. We bought it. We still buy it.
Megan Jayne Crabbe (Body Positive Power)
What is more, when the funds do run dry, blacks, having never learned how the dollars were earned, will be left in the position of once again needing to beg the government for survival. Handouts absent hard work render men weak, and with depleted self-esteem; they stifle the entrepreneurial spirit, by removing our innate senses of drive and aspiration. Poverty and despair become the life of the man who is given a fish but never learns to cast his own line. And though many will sympathize, prosperity will never be won until we become our own lifeline.
Candace Owens (Blackout: How Black America Can Make Its Second Escape from the Democrat Plantation)
In the car inching its way down Fifth Avenue, toward Bergdorf Goodman and this glamorous party, I looked back on my past with a new understanding. This sickness, the “endo-whatever,” had stained so much—my sense of self, my womanhood, my marriage, my ability to be present. I had effectively missed one week of each month every year of my life since I was thirteen, because of the chronic pain and hormonal fluctuations I suffered during my period. I had lain in bed, with heating pads and hot-water bottles, using acupuncture, drinking teas, taking various pain medications and suffering the collateral effects of them. I thought of all the many tests I missed in various classes throughout my education, the school dances, the jobs I knew I couldn’t take as a model, because of the bleeding and bloating as well as the pain (especially the bathing suit and lingerie shoots, which paid the most). How many family occasions was I absent from? How many second or third dates did I not go on? How many times had I not been able to be there for others or for myself? How many of my reactions to stress or emotional strife had been colored through the lens of chronic pain? My sense of self was defined by this handicap. The impediment of expected pain would shackle my days and any plans I made. I did not see my own womanhood as something positive or to be celebrated, but as a curse that I had to constantly make room for and muddle through. Like the scar on my arm, my reproductive system was a liability. The disease, developing part and parcel with my womanhood starting at puberty with my menses, affected my own self-esteem and the way I felt about my body. No one likes to get her period, but when your femininity carries with it such pain and consistent physical and emotional strife, it’s hard not to feel that your body is betraying you. The very relationship you have with yourself and your person is tainted by these ever-present problems. I now finally knew my struggles were due to this condition. I wasn’t high-strung or fickle and I wasn’t overreacting.
Padma Lakshmi (Love, Loss, and What We Ate: A Memoir)
That people do judge themselves so harshly reflects low self-esteem, not low achievement. Self-esteem, we must realize, is the quality of self-respect that is evident in a person’s emotional life and behavior. A superficially positive self-image and true self-esteem are by no means necessarily identical. In some cases, they are not even compatible. People who have a grandiose and inflated view of themselves on the conscious level are lacking true self-esteem at the core of their psyche. Their exaggerated self evaluation is a defense against their deepest feelings of worthlessness. The professionally successful workaholic suffers from low self-esteem, no matter what his conscious and projected self-image may be.
Gabor Maté (Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It)
I nodded, appreciating the wisdom of her words.‘Yellow is the colour of early spring,’ she said, ‘just look at your garden!’ She gestured towards the borders, which were full of primulas, crocuses and daffodils. ‘The most cheerful of colours,’ she continued, ‘almost reflective in its nature and it is of course the colour of the mind.’ ‘That’s why we surround ourselves with it!’ laughed Phyllis, ‘in the hope that its properties will rub off.’‘Nonsense dear,’ said Mrs Darley dismissively, ‘Yellow light simply encourages us to think more positively. It lifts our spirits and raises our self-esteem in time for summer.’I immediately made a mental note to surround myself with the colour of the season and, like Phyllis, hoped that some of its properties would rub off on me.
Carole Carlton (Mrs Darley's Pagan Whispers: A Celebration of Pagan Festivals, Sacred Days, Spirituality and Traditions of the Year)
Conditional regard” is the psychological term for parental affection that depends on a child meeting certain expectations, whether academic, athletic, or behavioral. Researchers distinguish between two types of conditional regard: positive, like when children feel their parents provide more warmth and affection than usual when expectations are met, and negative, when affection is withheld after expectations aren’t met. Psychologists have shown that conditional regard undermines a child’s self-esteem. Instead of figuring out who they really are, adolescents fixate on pleasing others.
Jennifer Breheny Wallace (Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic-and What We Can Do About It)
Or consider the fraught topic of self-esteem. We tend to assume that having high self-esteem is a good thing, but some psychologists have long suspected that there might be something wrong with the whole notion – because it rests on the assumption of a unitary, easily identifiable self. Setting out to give your ‘self’ one universal positive rating may in fact be deeply perilous. The problem lies in the fact that you’re getting into the self-rating game at all; implicitly, you’re assuming that you are a single self that can be given a universal grade. When you rate your self highly, you actually create the possibility of rating your self poorly; you are reinforcing the notion that your self is something that can be ‘good’ or ‘bad’ in the first place. And this will always be a preposterous overgeneralisation. You have strengths and weaknesses; you behave in good ways and bad ways. Smothering all these nuances with a blanket notion of self-esteem is a recipe for misery. Inculcate high self-esteem in your children, claims Paul Hauck, a psychologist opposed to the concept of self-esteem, and you will be ‘teaching them arrogance, conceit and superiority’ – or alternatively, when their high self-esteem falters, ‘guilt, depression, [and] feelings of inferiority and insecurity’ instead. Better to drop the generalisations. Rate your individual acts as good or bad, if you like. Seek to perform as many good ones, and as few bad ones, as possible. But leave your self out of it.
Oliver Burkeman (The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking)
I learned an amazing way to demonstrate the effectiveness of positive versus negative thinking from Jack Canfield, President of Self-Esteem Seminars, which I now use in my workshops. I ask someone to come up and stand facing the rest of the class. After making sure the person has no problems with her (or his) arms, I ask my volunteer to make a fist and extend either arm out to the side. I then tell her to resist, with as much strength as she can muster, as I stand facing her and attempt to push her arm down with my outstretched hand. Not once have I succeeded in pushing her arm down on my initial trial. I then ask her to put her arm down, close her eyes and repeat ten times the negative statement “I am a weak and unworthy person.” I tell her really to get into the feel of that statement. When she has repeated the statement ten times, I ask her to open her eyes and extend her arm again exactly as she had before. I remind her to resist as hard as she can. Immediately, I am able to bring down her arm. It is as though all strength has left her. I wish I could record the expressions on my volunteers’ faces when they find it impossible to resist my pressure. A few have made me do it again. “I wasn’t ready!” is their plea. Lo and behold, the same thing happens on the second try—the arm goes right down with little resistance. They are dumbfounded. I then ask the volunteer once again to close her eyes, and repeat ten times the positive statement “I am a strong and worthy person.” Again I tell her to really get into the feeling of the words. Once again I ask her to extend her arm and resist my pressure. To her amazement (and everyone else’s) I cannot budge the arm. In fact, it is more steadfast than the first time I tried to push it down. If I continue interspersing positive with negative, the same results occur. I can push the arm down after the negative statement, I am not able to push it down after the positive statement. By the way—for you skeptics out there—I tried this experiment when I was unaware of what the volunteer was saying. I left the room, and the class decided whether the statement should be negative or positive. It didn’t matter. Weak words meant a weak arm. Strong words meant a strong arm.
Susan Jeffers (Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway: Overcome your anxieties and grow confidence with the classic self help bestseller)
The experience of stress has three components. The first is the event, physical or emotional, that the organism interprets as threatening. This is the stress stimulus, also called the stressor. The second element is the processing system that experiences and interprets the meaning of the stressor. In the case of human beings, this processing system is the nervous system, in particular the brain. The final constituent is the stress response, which consists of the various physiological and behavioural adjustments made as a reaction to a perceived threat. We see immediately that the definition of a stressor depends on the processing system that assigns meaning to it. The shock of an earthquake is a direct threat to many organisms, though not to a bacterium. The loss of a job is more acutely stressful to a salaried employee whose family lives month to month than to an executive who receives a golden handshake. Equally important is the personality and current psychological state of the individual on whom the stressor is acting. The executive whose financial security is assured when he is terminated may still experience severe stress if his self-esteem and sense of purpose were completely bound up with his position in the company, compared with a colleague who finds greater value in family, social interests or spiritual pursuits. The loss of employment will be perceived as a major threat by the one, while the other may see it as an opportunity. There is no uniform and universal relationship between a stressor and the stress response. Each stress event is singular and is experienced in the present, but it also has its resonance from the past. The intensity of the stress experience and its long-term consequences depend on many factors unique to each individual. What defines stress for each of us is a matter of personal disposition and, even more, of personal history. Selye discovered that the biology of stress predominantly affected three types of tissues or organs in the body: in the hormonal system, visible changes occurred in the adrenal glands; in the immune system, stress affected the spleen, the thymus and the lymph glands; and the intestinal lining of the digestive system. Rats autopsied after stress had enlarged adrenals, shrunken lymph organs and ulcerated intestines.
Gabor Maté (When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress)
And so, by means both active and passive, he sought to repair the damage to his self-esteem. He tried first of all to find ways to make his nose look shorter. When there was no one around, he would hold up his mirror and, with feverish intensity, examine his reflection from every angle. Sometimes it took more than simply changing the position of his face to comfort him, and he would try one pose after another—resting his cheek on his hand or stroking his chin with his fingertips. Never once, though, was he satisfied that his nose looked any shorter. In fact, he sometimes felt that the harder he tried, the longer it looked. Then, heaving fresh sighs of despair, he would put the mirror away in its box and drag himself back to the scripture stand to resume chanting the Kannon Sutra. The second way he dealt with his problem was to keep a vigilant eye out for other people’s noses. Many public events took place at the Ike-no-o temple—banquets to benefit the priests, lectures on the sutras, and so forth. Row upon row of monks’ cells filled the temple grounds, and each day the monks would heat up bath water for the temple’s many residents and lay visitors, all of whom the Naigu would study closely. He hoped to gain peace from discovering even one face with a nose like his. And so his eyes took in neither blue robes nor white; orange caps, skirts of gray: the priestly garb he knew so well hardly existed for him. The Naigu saw not people but noses. While a great hooked beak might come into his view now and then, never did he discover a nose like his own. And with each failure to find what he was looking for, the Naigu’s resentment would increase. It was entirely due to this feeling that often, while speaking to a person, he would unconsciously grasp the dangling end of his nose and blush like a youngster. And finally, the Naigu would comb the Buddhist scriptures and other classic texts, searching for a character with a nose like his own in the hope that it would provide him some measure of comfort. Nowhere, however, was it written that the nose of either Mokuren or Sharihotsu was long. And Ryūju and Memyoō, of course, were Bodhisattvas with normal human noses. Listening to a Chinese story once, he heard that Liu Bei, the Shu Han emperor, had long ears. “Oh, if only it had been his nose,” he thought, “how much better I would feel!
Ryūnosuke Akutagawa (Rashōmon and Seventeen Other Stories)
Some researchers, such as psychologist Jean Twenge, say this new world where compliments are better than sex and pizza, in which the self-enhancing bias has been unchained and allowed to gorge unfettered, has led to a new normal in which the positive illusions of several generations have now mutated into full-blown narcissism. In her book The Narcissism Epidemic, Twenge says her research shows that since the mid-1980s, clinically defined narcissism rates in the United States have increased in the population at the same rate as obesity. She used the same test used by psychiatrists to test for narcissism in patients and found that, in 2006, one in four U.S. college students tested positive. That’s real narcissism, the kind that leads to diagnoses of personality disorders. In her estimation, this is a dangerous trend, and it shows signs of acceleration. Narcissistic overconfidence crosses a line, says Twenge, and taints those things improved by a skosh of confidence. Over that line, you become less concerned with the well-being of others, more materialistic, and obsessed with status in addition to losing all the restraint normally preventing you from tragically overestimating your ability to manage or even survive risky situations. In her book, Twenge connects this trend to the housing market crash of the mid-2000s and the stark increase in reality programming during that same decade. According to Twenge, the drive to be famous for nothing went from being strange to predictable thanks to a generation or two of people raised by parents who artificially boosted self-esteem to ’roidtastic levels and then released them into a culture filled with new technologies that emerged right when those people needed them most to prop up their self-enhancement biases. By the time Twenge’s research was published, reality programming had spent twenty years perfecting itself, and the modern stars of those shows represent a tiny portion of the population who not only want to be on those shows, but who also know what they are getting into and still want to participate. Producers with the experience to know who will provide the best television entertainment to millions then cull that small group. The result is a new generation of celebrities with positive illusions so robust and potent that the narcissistic overconfidence of the modern American teenager by comparison is now much easier to see as normal.
David McRaney (You Are Now Less Dumb: How to Conquer Mob Mentality, How to Buy Happiness, and All the Other Ways to Outsmart Yourself)
Putting the Other Person Down The manipulator has other options available to help them reach their ultimate goal. One tactic that can be quite effective consists in putting their target down on a regular basis. However, this isn’t done through insults or threats. This covert technique is very useful because the manipulator uses it in a very subtle manner. This can be seen in the abundant use of sarcasm or perhaps passive-aggressive attacks. For example, the manipulator may say, “don’t we look lovely today” when it is clear that the victim is not at their best. A passive-aggressive approach might be something like, “I’m just going to have to take you in for a good scrubbing and a haircut.” It might say in a playful tone, but the subtext is far more sinister. As for the target, they may not realize that they are the subject of manipulation. They may feel terrible as a result of the interaction, but may not realize that they are being deliberately acted upon by the manipulator. Consequently, the target is left to wonder is what the motives might be for being treated in such a manner. Honestly, it doesn’t really matter, at least not to the manipulator. What does matter is that the target is left feeling vulnerable and exposed. This is where the manipulator can make the most of their efforts. When a victim is left feeling defenseless, the manipulator is in a prime position to take advantage ([27]). On the contrary, if a person feels safe and empowered, the likelihood of them being manipulated is quite low. That’s why manipulators prey upon people with low self-esteem. If a person has high self-esteem, then they won’t be easily manipulated. If anything, put-downs and insults will spark a defensive reaction. That would leave the manipulator with no choice but to move on to the next victim.
William Cooper (Dark Psychology and Manipulation: Discover 40 Covert Emotional Manipulation Techniques, Mind Control, Brainwashing. Learn How to Analyze People, NLP Secret ... Effect, Subliminal Influence Book 1))
The problem, Augustine came to believe, is that if you think you can organize your own salvation you are magnifying the very sin that keeps you from it. To believe that you can be captain of your own life is to suffer the sin of pride. What is pride? These days the word “pride” has positive connotations. It means feeling good about yourself and the things associated with you. When we use it negatively, we think of the arrogant person, someone who is puffed up and egotistical, boasting and strutting about. But that is not really the core of pride. That is just one way the disease of pride presents itself. By another definition, pride is building your happiness around your accomplishments, using your work as the measure of your worth. It is believing that you can arrive at fulfillment on your own, driven by your own individual efforts. Pride can come in bloated form. This is the puffed-up Donald Trump style of pride. This person wants people to see visible proof of his superiority. He wants to be on the VIP list. In conversation, he boasts, he brags. He needs to see his superiority reflected in other people’s eyes. He believes that this feeling of superiority will eventually bring him peace. That version is familiar. But there are other proud people who have low self-esteem. They feel they haven’t lived up to their potential. They feel unworthy. They want to hide and disappear, to fade into the background and nurse their own hurts. We don’t associate them with pride, but they are still, at root, suffering from the same disease. They are still yoking happiness to accomplishment; it’s just that they are giving themselves a D– rather than an A+. They tend to be just as solipsistic, and in their own way as self-centered, only in a self-pitying and isolating way rather than in an assertive and bragging way. One key paradox of pride is that it often combines extreme self-confidence with extreme anxiety. The proud person often appears self-sufficient and egotistical but is really touchy and unstable. The proud person tries to establish self-worth by winning a great reputation, but of course this makes him utterly dependent on the gossipy and unstable crowd for his own identity. The proud person is competitive. But there are always other people who might do better. The most ruthlessly competitive person in the contest sets the standard that all else must meet or get left behind. Everybody else has to be just as monomaniacally driven to success. One can never be secure. As Dante put it, the “ardor to outshine / Burned in my bosom with a kind of rage.” Hungry for exaltation, the proud person has a tendency to make himself ridiculous. Proud people have an amazing tendency to turn themselves into buffoons, with a comb-over that fools nobody, with golden bathroom fixtures that impress nobody, with name-dropping stories that inspire nobody. Every proud man, Augustine writes, “heeds himself, and he who pleases himself seems great to himself. But he who pleases himself pleases a fool, for he himself is a fool when he is pleasing himself.”16 Pride, the minister and writer Tim Keller has observed, is unstable because other people are absentmindedly or intentionally treating the proud man’s ego with less reverence than he thinks it deserves. He continually finds that his feelings are hurt. He is perpetually putting up a front. The self-cultivator spends more energy trying to display the fact that he is happy—posting highlight reel Facebook photos and all the rest—than he does actually being happy. Augustine suddenly came to realize that the solution to his problem would come only after a transformation more fundamental than any he had previously entertained, a renunciation of the very idea that he could be the source of his own solution.
David Brooks (The Road to Character)