Pm Forni Quotes

When the healthy pursuit of self-interest and self-realization turns into self-absorption, other people can lose their intrinsic value in our eyes and become mere means to the fulfillment of our needs and desires.

....a crucial measure of our success in life is the way we treat one another every day of our lives.

RUDENESS IS THE WEAK MAN’S IMITATION OF STRENGTH. —Eric Hoffer

Few things would gratify me as much as a rediscovered respect for things belonging to others. Not abusing the property of others (or that of the community) is one of the ways in which we respect others. It is an essential part of being considerate guests, no matter where we are: in an airplane, in a friend's home, in a movie theater, in a doctor's office, in a public library, or in a public square.

The principle that first you try to solve your problems on your own and only turn to others as a last resort applies to friends. We have an obligation to show our friends that we are turning to them for a favor not because it happens to be convenient for us to do so but because of a compelling reason.

A WORD OF KINDNESS IS SELDOM SPOKEN IN VAIN, WHILE WITTY SAYINGS ARE AS EASILY LOST AS THE PEARLS SLIPPING FROM A BROKEN STRING. —George Prentice

WHEREVER THERE IS A HUMAN BEING, THERE IS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR A KINDNESS' —Lucius Annaeus Seneca (p.3).

How can you respond to an unwelcome and self-serving invitation to chill out? More or less like this: "No, I'm not going to chill out, and I'm telling you why. By telling me to chill out you are saying that I'm overreacting, which is like saying that I shouldn't feel the way I feel. I hope you'll allow me to have my feelings and express them the way I choose. Since I happen to feel strongly about this issue, there is no reason I should look the other way. I suggest that instead of making me fee bad about my reaction, you come to terms with the seriousness of your actions.

Instead of unthinkingly rushing into action, we can ask ourselves: Do I really want to do this? Is anybody going to be hurt by this? Will I like having done this?

Greatness is not just in the truth itself but in what we can do with it.

A human moment occurs anytime two or more people are together, paying attention to one another. — Edward M. Hallowell (p. 34)

…rudeness begets conflict with others but also conflict within ourselves, and the latter can prove as hurtful as the former (p. 43).

yielding our seat on a bus whenever it seems appropriate; alerting the person sitting behind us on a plane when we are about to lower the back of our seat; standing close to the right-side handrail on an escalator; stopping to give directions to someone who is lost; stopping at red lights; disagreeing with poise; yielding with grace when losing an argument, these diverse behaviors are all imbued with the spirit of civility.

Perhaps we don't respect things because we have so many of them.

The problem is not that humans are by nature incapable of knowing how to love, but that the circumstances of their lives often prevent them from learning.

Reading literature can develop the kind of imagination without which civility is impossible. To be fully human, we much be able to imagine others' hurt and relate it to the hurt we would experience if we were in their place. Consideration is imagination on a moral track.

[Re: Committing attention] WHEN I SHOW YOU THAT YOU ARE WORTHY OF MY ATTENTION, I AM ACKNOWLEDGING AND HONORING YOUR WORTH (p.38).

We must be as courteous to a man as we are to a picture, which we are willing to give the advantage of a good light (p. 41).

Some may say that by being civil to each other we stifled our self-expression. But we can also say that we chose to express one part of ourselves rather than another. Although it may appear that we give up self-expression when we exercise it, in truth restraint can be as much an expression of our Selves as is unfettered behavior. Yes, practicing civility may limit our immediate gratification. That's why we are tempted to be rude (p.24).

…we can learn to love. How do we do that? …First things first. First we discipline our ego to look beyond the narrow confines of its immediate needs; then we will have a change to understand what real love is. First manners, then love (pp.19-20).

THERE IS NO JOY EXCEPT IN HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS' — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (p.16).

[Re: Positive reactions to non-positive events] Our feelings are the products of our thoughts. A positive thought produces a feeling of contentment or happiness, a negative one a feeling of sadness or despondency. If we have control over how we feel about it as well. This means, in turn, that we can be the makers of our own happiness ( p.16).

I am convinced that, to a significant extent, life is what our relationships make it. …To learn how to be happy we must learn how to live well with others, and civility is a key to that (p. 6).

[Regarding the purpose of asking questions while listening.] Rather than satisfying your curiosity, helping the speaker achieve a higher level of clarity should be the goal of your questions (p.53).

In the midst of a culture that glorifies indulgent, self-expression, we may find…that when we find the strength to engage in considerate listening we are in fact expressing ourselves. At our best (p. 53).