Pamela Redmond Satran Quotes

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... a youth she's content to leave behind.... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age.... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..... a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... a feeling of control over her destiny... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to fall in love without losing herself.. EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... HOW TO QUIT A JOB, BREAK UP WITH A LOVER, AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.. EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... what she would and wouldn't do for love or more... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table... or a charming inn in the woods... when her soul needs soothing... EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... what she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year...

Every woman should have a youth she's content to leave behind and a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to telling it in her old age

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..... a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

Most of us fear that in growing old, we’ll become a shell of ourselves. But, of course, it’s the youthful versions of ourselves that are our shells; we must leave them behind like a snakeskin. We must grow out of ourselves to grow beyond our old limits, or else risk being suffocated by the sediment of our own history.

It’s not right to spend money you don’t have to perpetuate a lie about who you are.

So, as women, we’ve got to be pretty damn amazing to realize early on that physical perfection is neither achievable nor useful, and that all that fixing can be toxic.

Making peace with my past was the first step; being grateful for it was the second. Now, at last, I can appreciate the woman those experiences created: me.

I learned not to invest too much in a relationship before I really know how the other person feels.

no one finds a braggart wise. And once I no longer thought of listening as “waiting to talk,” I began to have more meaningful conversations.

[W]hy should you wait for a knight in shining armor to give you a ride when you can afford to buy the horse yourself?

I now believe in growing old gratefully, not gracefully. I haven’t found the secret to life, or love, or eternal youth. But I do know now that youth is not the blossom but the bud, and that though one cannot always be young and wild, if you are willing to learn, to grow, to outrun the mileposts of your own wildest dreams, you can always be winsome and lucky, lovely and free.

It’s rare that I have a boyfriend- that only happens if I fall in love. I’ve noticed that people who are never in a relationship just to be in a relationship keep their childlike spark because they don’t end up settling for things that make them unhappy, and they never feel as if they took less than what was out there for them. So for me, being single is what I do, and falling in love is the exception.

I always say I was one woman before his death and have been another ever since. The one before thought she could fix anything if she just worked hard enough. The woman after was forced to accept that sometimes life has plans for us and our loved ones that are far, far beyond our grasp.

One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received was from my grandmother, who said, “A woman always has to keep something of her own, even if it’s a jar of quarters.” The other was from my agent, another wise woman, who told me twenty years ago: “You don’t have to tell everything you know.

But I have learned that love is the one area where women should give themselves a break and cut bait. Men are better at that—if a guy isn’t feeling great about the relationship, he will leave and not look back. As women, we’re more analytical and more accommodating. We tend to hang in there and try harder. But if you’re with a dude who’s texting other girls, bye-bye.

you were thirty, you were a failure,” she told the audience. “And now a lot of young women think that if they aren’t seriously successful before thirty, they’re a failure. So I want to say to you that there is life and dreams and surprises after thirty—and forty, and fifty, and sixty, and seventy-seven! Believe me, life is one long surprise. And you can’t plan it, but you can prepare.

Love isn’t always enough. It’s a hard lesson because we’re raised to believe that it is—it’s in every story we hear. But just because you love somebody and they love you back doesn’t mean your relationship makes sense or that it’s a good one for you both to be in. Having chemistry with someone is important, yes, but the most important thing is that the person you’re with makes you happy.

You know when you’re in yoga and you’re looking around, thinking, Wow, I wish I were that flexible, or How come she can hold that pose? Well, my friend has a saying: “Stay on your own mat.” Not physically, but mentally. In life, we’re all made differently: our families, our frames, our personalities and talents. Appreciate how you were made, and stay on your mat. That’s where happiness lies.

Nobody wants you to be an artist or a writer, Maggie said. Not only did the world not care if you ever painted a picture or wrote a book, the world kind of wished you wouldn't. Your challenge was to do it anyway.

It was like I had some special strain of Tourette's that made me say exactly the kind of things that would drive him away, even though my biggest fear was that he would leave. Because you know, they always left.

And believing in choice meant you supported it whether someone's choice conformed to your personal beliefs or not.

there is a rock bottom that you can hit, even if you are young and beautiful and smart and loved.

If the means to a well-lived life is to take the road less traveled, first you have to get on the road.

There’s no such thing as telling someone a secret: It stops being a secret the minute it’s told.

But by the time we’re in our thirties, I believe we should strive to own and respect who we are, regardless of our struggles and difficulties. After all, even every little and big mistake, like every scar, can be a lesson in humility—one of the greatest gifts of all.

By thirty, I believe we should all focus more on feeling gratitude for the gifts we’ve been given. The more grateful we feel for our families, for our friends, for the good health we have, the more we will nourish those things for the future.

Love, of course, is a wonderful thing, a grand adventure of the heart. But while it’s thrilling to get caught up in its wake, don’t forget to hold on to who you are—or that incredible person might get swept away.

Before was preparation: leaving home, going to college, launching a career, getting married, having a child, realizing that love might be forever but life was not. After was living with the choices I’d made: that man, that child, that profession, that city, that self.

But I still envisioned thirty—in my own life, in my friends’ lives, in life in general—as a kind of train station. At that station, you got off the train you’d been riding up to that time, the train that had your parents on it, your siblings and your school friends, your textbooks and your pink diary with the lock and key—everything that had been trailing behind you for your entire life. And you got ready to board a different train, a train that would take you the rest of the way.

Dear Reader, that a sense of privacy is the best gift I ever gave myself.

The ability to accept and adapt gracefully to life’s twists and turns is one of the greatest skills you’ll learn. Should you plan for the things you want? Absolutely. But if you’re not exactly where you wanted to be, exactly when you wanted to be there, don’t sweat it.

Why do they say life begins at thirty? Some of the most accomplished women of our time have shared their theories already in this book. We have one, too. Thirty is when you stop the comparathon: the rat race that has you constantly looking over your shoulder to see how everyone else is doing at work/love/fitting into their skinny jeans. It’s tempting, after all, to see your twenties as your chance to make your mark. So you do your best, and you keep one eye on everyone else doing theirs. It can all leave a girl frantically busy. Yeah,

as Glamour editor Emma Rosenblum, who recently turned thirty, says: “We’re all on different time lines and need to realize that life isn’t a race. It’s more like one of those huge celebrity walkathons, where everyone’s ambling along at her own pace, wearing a really dorky hat and lots of sunblock.” By thirty, you should be moving at your own speed.

every woman needs to stop sometimes at the great railway station of life—on the evening of her big birthday, or the end of a big love affair, or even an ordinary afternoon—and take stock of where she is, how she got there, where she’s going, and why. That’s what you’re doing right this very minute. You’ve already started. And you’re already there.

I think a very key thing for women is to refuse to let anyone tell you you’re banned, you’re out of fashion, you don’t look the right way. Put your energy into a career that will be there for you regardless of the naysayers.

Every kiss has its own meaning. As the early-twentieth-century French chanteuse Mistinguett said: “A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point. That’s basic spelling that every woman ought to know.

The day you turn thirty is a big deal; it’s when you’re really starting to come into your own. If you were a rose, you would be just starting to open up and show all your layers of petals.

I had grown up with very little parental input, so I learned to be über-responsible, self-reliant, and self-sufficient. As a result, I never wanted to seem

I had grown up with very little parental input, so I learned to be über-responsible, self-reliant, and self-sufficient. As a result, I never wanted to seem like I needed help or to impose on anyone else.

If you’re successful, you’ll have friends who are with you for the moment. They are there because you can afford to be in the room and because you’re the big deal of the moment. And when you’re not the big deal of the moment, you’ll look around the room and see the only people who truly care about and support you. These are the important people to remember.

What would you attempt to do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” When I got that, I thought, Of course, I would just go for it! And that’s what you’ve got to do every single day of your thirties and beyond. Just go for it! Your life is now.

When your crow’s-feet begin to creep over your cheekbones, you are too old to be out after midnight more than twice a week. Also: If you love one man, don’t flirt and drink with another. It’s not rocket science,

young women around the age of thirty who are concerned with things like finding a husband, starting a family, paying their bills, and succeeding in their careers, as well as with how they look. I think the most important thing for them to know is that it’s really normal to be freaked out about where you are in life, but those things you want so badly will come in due time. Meanwhile, life will be a lot more joyful if you learn how to be comfortable

Why do we apologize when “sorry” is the last thing we feel? You could argue that as women, it’s been drilled into our heads to be sweet, accommodating, and nurturing. But sometimes, “sorry” is a cop-out: It’s easier than saying what we think. But there are times when it’s important to admit that we’re annoyed, angry, or maybe just plain fed up. So next time you’re about to request forgiveness, ask yourself: “Did I hurt this person’s feelings? Inconvenience her? Wrong him in any way?” If the answer is yes, by all means, genuflect away! But if the answer is no, pause and try one of these kind alternatives instead:

young women around the age of thirty who are concerned with things like finding a husband, starting a family, paying their bills, and succeeding in their careers, as well as with how they look. I think the most important thing for them to know is that it’s really normal to be freaked out about where you are in life, but those things you want so badly will come in due time. Meanwhile, life will be a lot more joyful if you learn how to be comfortable in your own skin.

Follow your heart? Forgive me, but that’s the myth of all myths. You should research the man you’re with as thoroughly as you’d research which car to buy. What do other people say about him? What’s his track record? Be aware of what your situation with

The world can't decide what's beautiful. So you decide, okay?

no matter how huge the changes I’d been through, I was still the same person at thirty that I’d been at twenty-seven and fifteen and nine. And would be (I can now attest to the truth of this) at thirty-eight and forty-four and beyond.

love might be forever but life was not.

If the means to a well-lived life is to take the road less traveled, first you have to get

It’s useless to obsess over one standard of beauty, since it can change as soon as you cross a border. My travels have taught me this: The world can’t decide what’s beautiful. So you decide, okay?

Another rule of thumb is that if it doesn’t feel like love—if you’re sad more than you’re happy—that’s a huge indicator that you need to walk. You need to know when to let go.

Alanis Morissette: “You live, you learn. You love, you learn. You cry, you learn. You lose, you learn.” I think there’s something pretty comforting in knowing that even the biggest mistakes I’m inevitably going to make will turn me into who I’ll be at thirty.

But as grateful as I am to everyone who’s ever believed in me, and to all of the kind, generous, hardworking women who have advised me and inspired me, I’ve learned in my thirties that we have to make our own success. Hard work and loving what you do create the only path to greatness. There’s no cheating life. I don’t care if you’re rich; I don’t care if you have connections; I don’t care if you’re beautiful. You can’t rely on others to carry you where you want to go. Build your own path, follow your own dreams, and—I promise—you will discover how powerful you truly are.

Saving up to buy things you want and deserve is a way of taking control of your life and your happiness, of recognizing that no one but you is responsible for getting you what you want in this world.

Life is not a fairy tale; it’s a parade of events that help you accrue wisdom and courage and faith. You learn first that you can and, later, that you should.

You can’t change your past, but you can change your mind about your past.

Love should almost never make you cry. If you’ve sobbed or had too many drinks or felt your stomach knot up over a guy more than once for every month you’ve been together, this is not the love you were meant to have. Thank him for the lessons and move on.

Every relationship we have in our lives, whether it lasts five hours with a stranger on a plane or fifty years with our soulmate, is meant to teach us something.

can tell you with at least 90 percent conviction that we are not doomed to repeat our mistakes—not if we’ve learned everything we can from them. Forgive your old self, and you can be pretty sure she will forgive you too.

But time, as I came to learn, only moves in one direction, and somewhat reluctantly, I traveled with it:

All right, get out a bowl,” I told her. “It has to be a beautiful bowl.” “Why?” “Because then the whole experience will be more pleasurable. Pick one you like.