β
In life you have to learn to count the good days. You have to tuck them in your pocket and carry them around with you. So Iβm putting today in my pocket and Iβm off to bed.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
You always know when itβs your first time, donβt you? But you rarely know when itβs your final time.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
It was a well-known fact that there were no calories in homemade cakes.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Itβs great to be the fastest runner, but not when youβre running in the wrong direction.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
...There are silly, proper tears now. I'll let them fall. If you don't cry sometimes, you'll end up crying all the time.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
We all have a sob story, but we don't all go around killing people.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Some people love their children more than they love their partner,β says Ibrahim, βand some people love their partner more than their children. And no one can ever admit to either thing.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Donna has always been headstrong, always acted quickly and decisively. Which is a fine quality when you are right, but a liability when you are wrong. Itβs great to be the fastest runner, but not when youβre running in the wrong direction.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Always look where the action isn't, because that's where the action is.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
The sun is up, the skies are blue, and murder is in the air
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
because you know that getting out of a garden chair at our age is a military operation. Once you are in one, you can be in it for the day.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
I'm afraid I don't know WTF. I only discovered LOL from Joyce last week
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
I know the difference between alone and lonely,
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
No regrets. We live our lives forwards, not backwards. So always make the best of what's in front of you.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
I would never have therapy, because who wants to unravel all that knitting? Not wroth the risk, thank you. My daughter, Joanna, has a therapist, although you'd be hard-pressed to know why if you saw the size of her house.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
If you donβt cry sometimes, youβll end up crying all the time.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
If you have any sort of personality, someone will eventually want to kill you.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
It was a community, and in Ibrahim's opinion that was how human beings were designed to live. At Coopers Chase, anytime you wanted to be alone, you would simply close your front door, and anytime you wanted to be with people, you would open it up again. If there was a better recipe for happiness than that, then Ibrahim was yet to hear it.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
At least I have discovered that online dating is not for me. You can have too much choice in this world. And when everyone has too much choice, it is also much harder to get chosen. And we all want to be chosen.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Thank you so much for reading The Thursday Mystery Club. Unless you havenβt read it yet and have just turned straight to the acknowledgments, which I accept is a possibility. You must live your life as you choose.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
You got to be careful with money. Don't let it be in charge.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Have you ever shot anyone before?β Rosie asks Steve, while snapping through Amyβs cable ties. βNo,β says Steve. βBut the Coldplay T-shirt made it easier.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
You know when you look into someone's eyes for the first time and the whole world breaks apart And you just think, "Of course, of course, this is what I've been waiting for all this time"?
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
The God of Imagination lived in fairytales. And the best fairytales made you fall in love. It was while flicking through "Sleeping Beauty" that I met my first love, Ivar. He was a six-year-old bello ragazzo with blond hair and eyebrows. He had bomb-blue eyes and his two front teeth were missing.
The road to Happily Ever After, however, was paved with political barbed wire. Three things stood in my way.
1. The object of my affection didn't know he was the object of my affection.
2. The object of my affection preferred Action Man to Princess Aurora.
3. The object of my affection was a boy and I wasn't allowed to love a boy.
β
β
Diriye Osman (Fairytales for Lost Children)
β
Steve is grateful that at least he feels loved. Because if you donβt feel loved, itβs difficult to feel anything at all.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
You always know when itβs your first time, donβt you? But you rarely know when itβs your final time.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
I'm afraid I don't know WTF. I only discovered LOL from Joyce last week. I'm going to assume that it doesn't refer to the Warsaw Transit Facility, as that was shut down in 1981 when the Russians came sniffing.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Do you know how to pick locββ Rosieβs question is interrupted by Amy taking a large rock and smashing one of Scroggieβs back windows. βAh, I see you do.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
Of all the things to lose, to lose one's mind? Let them take a leg or a lung; let them take anything before they take that. Before you become "poor Rosemary" or "poor Frank," catching the last glimpses of the sun and seeing them for what they were. Before there were no more trips, no more games, no more Murder Clubs. Before there was no more you.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Everyone is taking the best shot theyβve got, and some shots are just luckier than yours. Anytime you feel your unhappiness turning into bitterness, you have to check yourself. You can live with unhappiness, but bitterness will kill
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
There are friendships forged in fire, which end up disappearing like smoke, and other casual, nodding friendships, which will stay with you for the rest of your life.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
I know many people enjoy your books, and surely they canβt all be wrong?
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
Amy smiles. She loves Adam to the moon and back too, and decides she should tell him.
Same.
She is a romantic fool sometimes.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
One by one, the lights of the village switch off. The only remaining illumination comes from behind the thick hospital blinds of Willows. The business of dying keeps different hours than the business of living.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Whatever they say about time healing, some things in life just break and can never be fixed.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
I keep Gerry in a tight little ball just for me. I think if I let him loose here, it would overwhelm me, and I worry he might just blow away.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Big is the same as small. There's just more of it.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
He had read a headline about Diet Coke once, which was so worrying he had chosen not to read the article.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
The only way anyone can afford to buy a house these days is to have bought it fifteen years ago.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
I don't think you're supposed to use your mobile telephone in here, Elizabeth," says John.
She gives a kindly shrug. "Well, imagine if we only ever did what we were supposed to, John."
"You have a point there, Elizabeth," agrees John, and goes back to his book.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Everyone is vulnerable. For some people, for Steve, it comes out as fear, avoiding situations where the vulnerability is exposed. For others, for an awful lot of people these days, vulnerability comes out as anger, pushing away anything that feels like it might pierce their shell. Steve watches
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
I am not a vegan and have no intention of ever becoming one, but I still feel like it's something that should be encouraged. I read that if mankind doesn't stop eating meat, there will be mass starvation by 2050. With respect, I am nearly eighty, and so this won't be my problem, but I do hope they sort it out.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
I see,β says Elizabeth, lips pursing. βAnd what happens if I still choose to say WPC? Will there be a warrant for my arrest?β
βNo, but Iβll think a bit less of you,β says Donna. βBecause itβs a really simple thing to do, and itβs more respectful to me.β
βDamn, checkmate, okay,β says Elizabeth, unpursing her lips.
βThank you,β says Donna.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Joyce turns her face up to the sun and closes her eyes. 'Well, isn't this lovely, Ron? I never knew I liked beer. Imagine if I'd died at seventy? I never would have known.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
I would never have therapy, because who wants to unravel all that knitting?
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Ron, I didn't really know how to ask for just an instant coffee, so I got us Caramel Frappuccinos.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
The only remaining illumination comes from behind the thick hospital blinds of Willows. The business of dying keeping different hours from the business of living.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
He always found it easy to wake up in the morning; he just found it hard to sleep at night
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Iβm just organized,β says Joyce. βItβs out of fashion. If I say Iβm going to Zumba, I go to Zumba.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
DCI Chris Hudson is addressing the team. He always seems nice enough. He once opened some double doors for her without looking like he wanted a medal for it.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Serves me right for mixing marijuana and tequila.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
I never take offense,β says Tony. βSaved me a lot of time over the years.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
donβt do nuance either,β says Max. βNuance is too woke.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
Every criminal wants to tell the truth eventually. Enough of the truth to be seen but not enough of the truth to be convicted.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
Itβs not every daughter-in-law who will high-five you when youβve shot a drug dealer in a Coldplay T-shirt, is it?
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
Itβs South Carolina,β says Carlos. βSweatingβs what we do.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
You may not have recognized me,β says Max. This, he has learnt, is politer than βDonβt you know who I am?
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
The back is ramrod straight. It would be the most uncomfortable chair that Chris had ever sat in, had he not just made the flight to Cyprus on Ryanair.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
one rule in life: if you see a door, walk through it.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
What unfortunate timing. If sheβd known she was going to die this morning, she would have ordered the pancakes.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
if you donβt feel loved, itβs difficult to feel anything at all.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
He doesnβt get casinos or infidelity. Why earn money, just to lose it, and why look for love, just to betray it?
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
Any time you feel your unhappiness turning into bitterness, you have to check yourself. You can live with unhappiness, but bitterness will kill you.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
If you look at the stars, the sky seems full. But if you look at the darkness, the sky seems empty.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
I think that if I have a special skill, it is that I am often overlooked. Is that the word? Underestimated, perhaps?
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
And, despite his assiduous preparation, it had taken him by surprise. You can think something often enough, but you will never be prepared for your heart disintegrating.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
Funny to think of the year 2000 as ancient history.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
at the very least, you made it through to the end. Unless you are one of those people who reads the acknowledgments first, in which case I honestly believe you are a dangerous sociopath.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
But Steve has learnt you must never resent other people for their happiness. Everyone is taking the best shot they've got, and some shots are just luckier than yours. Anytime you feel your unhappiness turning into bitterness, you have to check yourself. You can live with unhappiness, but bitterness will kill you.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
Like someone reached in and took out my heart and my lungs and told me to keep living. Keep waking up, keep eating, keep putting one foot in front of the other. For what? I donβt think I ever really found an answer to that.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
After writing an email, a text, anything really, you can simply run the whole thing through ChatGPT and it instantly deletes your personality. It flattens you out, irons your creases, washes you away, quirk by quirk, until you disappear.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
Steve stops by the window of the estate agent and peers through the glass. If he was moving to the village today, he wouldn't be able to afford it. The only way anyone can afford to buy a house these days is to have bought it fifteen years ago.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
Chess is easy,' says Bogdan, continuing the walk between the lines of graves and now flicking on a torch. 'Just always make the best move.'
'Well, I suppose,' says Elizabeth. 'I've never quite thought about it like that. But what if you don't know what the best move is?'
'Then you lose.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Was he a content man, doing the things he liked alone? Or was he a lonely man making the best out of what he had? Alone, or lonely? This question cropped up so often these days, Chris could no longer be confident of his answer. Though if he was a betting man, his money would be on lonely.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
How many more autumns for Elizabeth? How many more years of slipping on a pair of
comfortable boots and walking through the leaves? One day, spring will come without her. The daffodils will always come up by the lake, but you wonβt always be there to see them. So it goes; enjoy them while you can.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Steve has learned you must never resent other people for their happiness. Everyone is taking the best shot theyβve got, and some shots are just luckier than yours. Anytime you feel your unhappiness turning into bitterness, you have to check yourself. You can live with unhappiness, but bitterness will kill you.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
When are your hunches ever wrong?β says Ron.
βActually, quite often,β says Joyce. βShe just says them with confidence. Sheβs like a consultant.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club / The Man Who Died Twice (Thursday Murder Club, #1-2))
β
I remember dabbing at my mouth before I answered, like you see on television sometimes. It makes you look clever, try it.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
I still haven't quite worked out how my Instagram works, which is very frustrating. As @GreatJoy69 now has over 200 private messages.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club / The Man Who Died Twice (Thursday Murder Club, #1-2))
β
Anytime you would see a photograph of him in the paper, the caption would always be something like, "Talks collapsed late last night.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
One of the first things you learn at Coopers Chase is that some people can still actually hear.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Elizabeth looks to Donna like the sort of teacher who terrifies you all year but then gives you a grade A and cries when you leave.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
So we were all witnesses to a murder" says Elizabeth "Which, needless to say, is wonderful
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Who killed Tony Curran though? Ventham. Typical Blairite.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Bit by bit, Donna was intent on dragging Chris from his century into hers.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
If you hit women, you hit women
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Normal is an illusory concept, Bogdan," adds Ibrahim.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Sitting in their gardens, doing a sudoku, knowing they had got away with murder.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Donna, like any modern woman, I am any number of things, as and when the need arises. We have to be chameleons, donβt we?
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
What does she fear? Amy feels like she got all her fears out of the way in childhood. If the worst possible things have happened to you already, what can the world do to you?
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
We live our lives forwards, not backwards, so always make the best of what's in front of you.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
She is in danger of relaxing. Feels it creeping up on her. Amy hates relaxing. Too much time to think. She prefers to do.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
You will go completely mad waiting for life to be fair
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
Chris takes a swig of Diet Coke. He sometimes worries he is addicted to it. He had read a headline about Diet Coke once, which was so worrying he had chosen not to read the article.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
If you know what a chemical engineer is, then you are a better woman than me. Donβt get me wrong, I know what an engineer is and I know what chemicals are, but I canβt join the dots.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
More than anything, she is supposed to be a reassuring presence in a terrifying world. Donna understands that, and it also gets her out of both the station and paperwork, so she volunteers.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
for an awful lot of people these days, vulnerability comes out as anger, pushing away anything that feels like it might pierce their shell. Steve watches people on TV sometimes, shouting the odds about this, that, or the other, railing against the truth of reality, and he always sees the pain first. They have lost someone, or they never had someone, and so now they have lost themselves.
β
β
Richard Osman (We Solve Murders (We Solve Murders, #1))
β
We normally meet in the Jigsaw Room, you see,β says Joyce. βBut itβs not Thursday and the Jigsaw Room is being used by Chat and Crochet.β
βChat and Crochet is a fairly new group, Detective Chief Inspector,β says Ibrahim. βFormed by members who had become disillusioned with Knit and Natter. Too much nattering and not enough knitting, apparently.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
So, he would go home, and have a night in by himself, with a curry. He knew that was where this was heading. There was a darts tournament on Sky.
Chris wondered if this was a tragic plan, or whether it was simply the sort of plan that people would think was tragic. Was he a content man, doing the things he liked alone? Or was he a lonely man making the best out of what he had? Alone, or lonely?
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))
β
For Ibrahim one of the beauties of Coopers Chase was that it was so alive. So full of ridiculous committees and ridiculous politics, so full of arguments, of fun, and of gossip. All the new arrivals, each one subtly shifting the dynamic. All the farewells too, reminding you that this was a place that could never stay the same. It was a community, and in Ibrahim's opinion that was how human beings were designed to live. At Coopers Chase, anytime you wanted to be alone, you would simply close your front door, and anytime you wanted to be with people, you would open it up again. If there was a better recipe for happiness than that, then Ibrahim was yet to hear it.
β
β
Richard Osman (The Thursday Murder Club (Thursday Murder Club, #1))