“
the Oppenheimers didn’t really operate
as a unit, and when they did things together they mainly did them for
Johanna’s sake. Yes, all five of them got dressed up to see
The Nutcracker
every year, because it was a family tradition. Yes, they walked over the
bridge to Chinatown on Christmas Day and then went to see a movie,
because that was what New York Jews did (if they weren’t actually observing
the holiday!). Yes, they celebrated the magical anniversary of the (scheduled)
birth together on Martha’s Vineyard. These were things the five
Oppenheimers undertook together, but it didn’t mean they had tangible
intimacy with one another’s lives, or (especially) that they actually liked one
another. Sally’s family was not given to warm gestures, reassurances,
encouragements, deferrals. They were not one another’s “biggest fans” or
“persons.” They didn’t have one another’s backs. They weren’t, you know,
close,
and despite the tragic efforts of our mother, none of them ever tried to
pretend they were.
”
”