“
I'm backing down now. I really do love you. That's why I'm doing this.
”
”
Richelle Mead (Last Sacrifice (Vampire Academy, #6))
“
You think my first instinct is to protect you. Because you're small, or a girl, or a Stiff. But you're wrong."
He leans his face close to mine and wraps his fingers around my chin. His hand smells like metal. When was the last time he held a gun, or a knife? My skin tingles at the point of contact, like he's transmitting electricity through his skin.
"My first instinct is to push you until you break, just to see how hard I have to press." he says, his fingers squeezing at the word break. My body tenses at the edge in his voice, so I am coiled as tight as a spring, and I forget to breathe.
”
”
Veronica Roth (Divergent (Divergent, #1))
“
FYI, when I type WTF, you are supposed to read What the Fuck? Same with OMG, and OMFG, which are Oh My God and Oh My Fucking God. Only a completely lame Disney Channel nimnode pronounces the letters.
”
”
Christopher Moore (Bite Me (A Love Story, #3))
“
From Jess:
FANG.
I've commented your blog with my questions for THREE YEARS. You answer other people's STUPID questions but not MINE. YOU REALLY ASKED FOR IT, BUDDY. I'm just gonna comment with this until you answer at least one of my questions.
DO YOU HAVE A JAMAICAN ACCENT? No, Mon
DO YOU MOLT? Gross.
WHAT'S YOUR STAR SIGN? Dont know. "Angel what's my star sign?" She says Scorpio.
HAVE YOU TOLD JEB I LOVE HIM YET? No.
DOES NOT HAVING A POWER MAKE YOU ANGRY? Well, that's not really true...
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THE SOULJA BOY? Can you see me doing the Soulja Boy?
DOES IGGY KNOW HOW TO DO THE SOULJA BOY? Gazzy does.
DO YOU USE HAIR PRODUCTS? No. Again,no.
DO YOU USE PRODUCTS ON YOUR FEATHERS? I don't know that they make bird kid feather products yet.
WHAT'S YOU FAVORITE MOVIE? There are a bunch
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SONG? I don't have favorites. They're too polarizing.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SMELL? Max, when she showers.
DO THESE QUESTIONS MAKE YOU ANGRY? Not really.
IF I CAME UP TO YOU IN A STREET AND HUGGED YOU, WOULD YOU KILL ME? You might get kicked. But I'm used to people wanting me dead, so.
DO YOU SECRETLY WANT TO BE HUGGED? Doesn't everybody?
ARE YOU GOING EMO 'CAUSE ANGEL IS STEALING EVERYONE'S POWERS (INCLUDING YOURS)? Not the emo thing again.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? Anything hot and delicious and brought to me by Iggy.
WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING? Three eggs, over easy. Bacon. More Bacon. Toast.
DID YOU EVEN HAVE BREAKFAST THIS MORNING? See above.
DID YOU DIE INSIDE WHEN MAX CHOSE ARI OVER YOU? Dudes don't die inside.
DO YOU LIKE MAX? Duh.
DO YOU LIKE ME? I think you're funny.
DOES IGGY LIKE ME? Sure
DO YOU WRITE DEPRESSING POETRY? No.
IS IT ABOUT MAX? Ahh. No.
IS IT ABOUT ARI? Why do you assume I write depressing poetry?
IS IT ABOUT JEB? Ahh.
ARE YOU GOING TO BLOCK THIS COMMENT? Clearly, no.
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? A Dirty Projectors T-shirt. Jeans.
DO YOU WEAR BOXERS OR BRIEFS? No freaking comment.
DO YOU FIND THIS COMMENT PERSONAL? Could I not find that comment personal?
DO YOU WEAR SUNGLASSES? Yes, cheap ones.
DO YOU WEAR YOUR SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT? That would make it hard to see.
DO YOU SMOKE APPLES, LIKE US? Huh?
DO YOU PREFER BLONDES OR BRUNETTES? Whatever.
DO YOU LIKE VAMPIRES OR WEREWOLVES? Fanged creatures rock.
ARE YOU GAY AND JUST PRETENDING TO BE STRAIGHT BY KISSING LISSA? Uhh...
WERE YOU EXPERIMENING WITH YOUR SEXUALITY? Uhh...
WOULD YOU TELL US IF YOU WERE GAY? Yes.
DO YOU SECRETLY LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE CALL YOU EMO? No.
ARE YOU EMO? Whatever.
DO YOU LIKE EGGS? Yes. I had them for breakfast.
DO YOU LIKE EATING THINGS? I love eating. I list it as a hobby.
DO YOU SECRETLY THINK YOU'RE THE SEXIEST PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD? Do you secretly think I'm the sexiest person in the whole world?
DO YOU EVER HAVE DIRTY THOUGHTS ABOUT MAX? Eeek!
HAS ENGEL EVER READ YOUR MIND WHEN YOU WERE HAVING DIRTY THOUGHT ABOUT MAX AND GONE "OMG" AND YOU WERE LIKE "D:"? hahahahahahahahahahah
DO YOU LIKE SPONGEBOB? He's okay, I guess.
DO YOU EVER HAVE DIRTY THOUGHT ABOUT SPONGEBOB? Definitely
CAN YOU COOK? Iggy cooks.
DO YOU LIKE TO COOK? I like to eat.
ARE YOU, LIKE, A HOUSEWIFE? How on earth could I be like a housewife?
DO YOU SECRETLY HAVE INNER TURMOIL?
Isn't it obvious?
DO YOU WANT TO BE UNDA DA SEA? I'm unda da stars.
DO YOU THINK IT'S NOT TOO LATE, IT'S NEVER TOO LATE? Sure.
WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO PLAY POKER? TV.
DO YOU HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE? Totally.
OF COURSE YOU HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE. DOES IGGY HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE? Yes.
CAN HE EVEN PLAY POKER? Iggy beats me sometimes.
DO YOU LIKE POKING PEOPLE HARD? Not really.
ARE YOU FANGALICIOUS? I could never be as fangalicious as you'd want me to be.
Fly on,
Fang
”
”
James Patterson (Fang (Maximum Ride, #6))
“
Maybe I’m already sure, “ he says, “and I just don’t want to frighten you.” I laugh a little. “Then you should know better.” “Fine,” he says. “Then I love you.
”
”
Veronica Roth (Divergent (Divergent, #1))
“
..."Are you okay?" he says, still looking at me, and I feel my smile slip, fade, and the silence that falls over us then is so total I can’t hear anything, not the rush-hiss of my heart pounding in my chest, not the sounds all around us; insects, wind, and the distant clatter of others’ lives in houses built close but not too close because when we look out our windows we all like to pretend that everything we see is ours. But Ryan is not mine.
”
”
Elizabeth Scott (The Unwritten Rule)
“
OMG! I DESIGNED THIS NEW SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM! IT'S CALLED "POETRY" - YOU HAVE TO READ AMY KING'S POEMS TO GET AN INVITE ~
”
”
Amy King (I'm the Man Who Loves You)
“
mad maddie: I GOT ACCEPTED TO SANTA CRUZ!!!!
SnowAngel: omg!!!
zoegirl: maddie!!!! yay!!!!!
mad maddie: i know! it's incredible!
SnowAngel: *squeals and hugs sweet maddie*
SnowAngel: tell us every single detail!!!
mad maddie: well, i got home from school and saw this big thick envelope on the kitchen counter, with "Santa Cruz Admissions Office" as the return address. i got really fidgety and just started screaming, right there in the house. no one was there but me, so i could be as loud as i wanted.
zoegirl: omg!!!
mad maddie: i took a deep breath and tried to calm down, but my hands were shaking. i opened the envelope and pulled out a folder that said, "Welcome to Santa Cruz!" inside was a letter that said, "Dear Madigan. You're in!"
mad maddie: isn't that cool? i LOVE that, that instead of being all prissy and formal, they're like, "you're in! yahootie!"
SnowAngel: oh maddie, i am sooooo happy for u!
mad maddie: i ran out to my car all jumping and hopping around and drove to ian's, cuz i knew neither of u would be home yet. i showed him my letter and he hugged me really hard and lifted me into the air. it was AWESOME.
zoegirl: i'm so proud of u, maddie!
SnowAngel: me 2!
”
”
Lauren Myracle (l8r, g8r (Internet Girls, #3))
“
To anyone who is brave enough to love me,
Do you know that the human body is approximately sixty percent water? When I walk into a room full of people all I see is an ocean.
”
”
Rudy Francisco (Helium (Button Poetry))
“
Meal sharing? Like a date?”
“Nope. Sharing a meal in a non-dating capacity?”
“Let me get this straight…you’re sharing a meal twice a week, alone with him?”
“That’s right. In a non-dating capacity.”
“Which means what? You won’t be fucking at the end of the night?”
I sipped my drink. “Exactly.”
Jules cracked up. “He talked you into this crap?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re dating him and don’t even know it. I might love this man.”
I wasn’t dating him. Was I? We were just sharing a meal twice a week. Getting to know each other. Not seeing other people. And thinking of each other while we took care of ourselves. OMG. I am dating him!
”
”
Vi Keeland (Bossman)
“
Such a nice little pastiche. Of course, a true Elizbethan theater wouldn't have a roof, would it? Or such comfortable chairs. All the same quite charming.I wonder what play they're putting on now?
Oh, its ... Love's Labour Lost.
Well, isn't that apropos?
Is it?
I wonder if it's modern dress. No, I don't wonder at all.On that particular question, I have been quite driven from the firld. Everywhere one goes now it's Uzis at Agincourt, Imogen in jeans, the Thane of Cawdor in a three-button suit. Nest thing you know, Romeo and Julie will simply text each other. Damn the balcony. OMG,Romeo. ILY 24-7.
”
”
Louis Bayard (The School of Night)
“
OMG, did he just sext you?"
Alisha clapped the phone to her chest, as good as clutching pearls. "No!"
"Yeah, right." Simone tilted her head sideways, gold hoops catching the light. "You're guilty as all get-out. What did he send you, a dick pic?"
The waitress sailed up to the table with a wide smile. Alisha slumped down in her seat, resisting the urge to continue the slide until she was hidden underneath the table. "What can I get for you ladies?"
How about two eggs with a side of mortification?
"I'll have an egg white spinach omelet," Simone said, holding loosely clasped hands by her cheek, her upturned face a ringer for a baroque saint. "But better bring my sister a smoothie, because she's so thirsty.
”
”
Chandra Blumberg (Digging Up Love (Taste of Love, #1))
“
We’ve got the guest room all set up.” He gives me a fond look before saying, “Lara Jean put in a new pair of slippers and a robe for you, Ravi.”
Before Ravi can reply, Margot says, “Oh, that’s so nice. But actually, I think Ravi’s just going to stay with me in my room.”
It’s as if Margot has dropped a stink bomb in the middle of our living room. Kitty and I are looking at each other with huge OMG eyes; Daddy just looks stunned and at a complete loss for words. When I made up the guest room for Ravi, folded a set of towels for him on the side of the bed, and put out the robe and slippers, it never occurred to me that he’d be staying in Margot’s room. Clearly, the thought never occurred to Daddy either.
Daddy’s face is growing redder by the second. “Oh, um…I don’t know if…”
Margot purses her lips nervously as she waits for Daddy to finish his sentence. We’re all waiting, but he can’t seem to figure out what to say next. His eyes dart over to Ms. Rothschild for help, and she puts her hand on the small of his back in support.
Poor Ravi looks supremely uncomfortable. My first thought was that he was a Ravenclaw like Margot; now I’m thinking he’s a Hufflepuff like me. In a soft voice he says, “I truly don’t mind staying in the guest room. I’d hate to make things awkward.”
Daddy starts to answer him, but Margot gets there first. “No, it’s totally fine,” she assures Ravi. “Let’s go get the rest of our stuff out of the car.”
The second they leave, Kitty and I turn to each other. At the same time we say, “Oh my God.
”
”
Jenny Han (Always and Forever, Lara Jean (To All the Boys I've Loved Before, #3))
“
Alice's Cutie Code TM Version 2.1 - Colour Expansion Pack
(aka Because this stuff won’t stop being confusing and my friends are mean edition)
From Red to Green, with all the colours in between (wait, okay, that rhymes, but green to red makes more sense. Dang.)
From Green to Red, with all the colours in between
Friend Sampling Group: Fennie, Casey, Logan, Aisha and Jocelyn
Green
Friends’ Reaction: Induces a minimum amount of warm and fuzzies. If you don’t say “aw”, you’re “dead inside”
My Reaction: Sort of agree with friends minus the “dead inside” but because that’s a really awful thing to say. Puppies are a good example. So is Walter Bishop.
Green-Yellow
Friends’ Reaction: A noticeable step up from Green warm and fuzzies. Transitioning from cute to slightly attractive. Acceptable crush material. “Kissing.”
My Reaction: A good dance song. Inspirational nature photos. Stuff that makes me laugh. Pairing: Madison and Allen from splash
Yellow
Friends’ Reaction: Something that makes you super happy but you don’t know why. “Really pretty, but not too pretty.” Acceptable dating material. People you’d want to “bang on sight.”
My Reaction: Love songs for sure! Cookies for some reason or a really good meal. Makes me feel like it’s possible to hold sunshine, I think. Character: Maxon from the selection series. Music: Carly Rae Jepsen
Yellow-Orange
Friends’ Reaction: (When asked for non-sexual examples, no one had an answer. From an objective perspective, *pushes up glasses* this is the breaking point. Answers definitely skew toward romantic or sexual after this.)
My Reaction: Something that really gets me in my feels. Also art – oil paintings of landscapes in particular. (What is with me and scenery? Maybe I should take an art class) Character: Dean Winchester. Model: Liu Wren.
Orange
Friends’ Reaction: “So pretty it makes you jealous. Or gay.”
“Definitely agree about the gay part. No homo, though. There’s just some really hot dudes out there.”(Feenie’s side-eye was so intense while the others were answering this part LOLOLOLOLOL.) A really good first date with someone you’d want to see again.
My Reaction: People I would consider very beautiful. A near-perfect season finale. I’ve also cried at this level, which was interesting.
o Possible tie-in to romantic feels? Not sure yet.
Orange-Red
Friends’ Reaction: “When lust and love collide.” “That Japanese saying ‘koi no yokan.’ It’s kind of like love at first sight but not really. You meet someone and you know you two have a future, like someday you’ll fall in love. Just not right now.” (<-- I like this answer best, yes.) “If I really, really like a girl and I’m interested in her as a person, guess. I’d be cool if she liked the same games as me so we could play together.”
My Reaction: Something that gives me chills or has that time-stopping factor. Lots of staring. An extremely well-decorated room. Singers who have really good voices and can hit and hold superb high notes, like Whitney Houston. Model: Jasmine Tooke. Paring: Abbie and Ichabod from Sleepy Hollow
o Romantic thoughts? Someday my prince (or princess, because who am I kidding?) will come?
Red (aka the most controversial code)
Friends’ Reaction: “Panty-dropping levels” (<-- wtf Casey???).
“Naked girls.” ”Ryan. And ripped dudes who like to cook topless.”
“K-pop and anime girls.” (<-- Dear. God. The whole table went silent after he said that. Jocelyn was SO UNCOMFORTABLE but tried to hide it OMG it was bad. Fennie literally tried to slap some sense into him.)
My Reaction: Uncontrollable staring. Urge to touch is strong, which I must fight because not everyone is cool with that. There may even be slack-jawed drooling involved. I think that’s what would happen. I’ve never seen or experienced anything that I would give Red to.
”
”
Claire Kann (Let's Talk About Love)
“
So Japan is allied with Germany and they’re like “Sweet the rest of the world already hates us let’s take their land!” So they start invading China and Malaysia and the Philippines and just whatever else but then they’re like “Hmm what if America tries to stop us? Ooh! Let’s surprise attack Hawaii!” So that’s exactly what they do. The attack is very successful but only in a strictly technical sense. To put it in perspective, let’s try a metaphor. Let’s say you’re having a barbecue but you don’t want to get stung by any bees so you find your local beehive and just go crazy on it with a baseball bat. Make sense? THEN YOU MUST BE JAPAN IN THE ’40s. WHO ELSE WOULD EVER DO THIS? So the U.S. swarms on Japan, obviously but that’s where our bee metaphor breaks down because while bees can sting you they cannot put you in concentration camps (or at least, I haven’t met any bees that can do that). Yeah, after that surprise attack on Pearl Harbor everybody on the West Coast is like “OMG WE’RE AT WAR WITH JAPAN AND THERE ARE JAPANESE DUDES LIVING ALLLL AROUND US.” I mean, they already banned Japanese immigration like a decade before but there are still Japanese dudes all over the coast and what’s more those Japanese dudes are living right next door to all the important aircraft factories and landing strips and shipyards and farmland and forests and bridges almost as if those types of things are EVERYWHERE and thus impossible not to live next door to. Whatever, it’s pretty suspicious. Now, at this point, nothing has been sabotaged and some people think that means they’re safe. But not military geniuses like Earl Warren who points out that the only reason there’s been no sabotage is that the Japanese are waiting for their moment and the fact that there has been no sabotage yet is ALL THE PROOF WE NEED to determine that sabotage is being planned. Frank Roosevelt hears this and he’s like “That’s some pretty shaky logic but I really don’t like Japanese people. Okay, go ahead.” So he passes an executive order that just says “Any enemy ex-patriots can be kicked out of any war zone I designate. P.S.: California, Oregon, and Washington are war zones have fun with that.” So they kick all the Japanese off the coast forcing them to sell everything they own but people are still not satisfied. They’re like “Those guys look funny! We can’t have funny-looking dudes roaming around this is wartime! We gotta lock ’em up.” And FDR is like “Okay, sure.” So they herd all the Japanese into big camps where they are concentrated in large numbers like a hundred and ten thousand people total and then the military is like “Okay, guys we will let you go if you fill out this loyalty questionnaire that says you love the United States and are totally down to be in our army” and some dudes are like “Sweet, free release!” but some dudes are like “Seriously? You just put me in jail for being Asian. This country is just one giant asshole and it’s squatting directly over my head.” And the military is like “Ooh, sorry to hear that buddy looks like you’re gonna stay here for the whole war. Meanwhile your friends get to go fight and die FOR FREEDOM.
”
”
Cory O'Brien (George Washington Is Cash Money: A No-Bullshit Guide to the United Myths of America)
“
We both landed on the ground. Daisy was standing nearby, greeting the villagers. She saw what happened and said, “OMG! Are you guys okay?” “Ughhhh… owww…” I stumbled as I tried to get up. I was super dizzy from all that tumbling. Bob got up fine, he didn’t take as bad of a fall as I did. “Well, that’s a quick way to get down the mound. What’s going on?” he asked me. “Uhhh… we… w-we gotta get home fast!” I said. “What do you mean?” “The Sage… he told me… something is gonna happen back at home.” Bob gasped. “Is our town in trouble?” “It sounds like it may be.” “I’ll round everyone up and we’ll head back right now.” “Thanks, I’m gonna sit here for a second. My brain feels like it has been scrambled from that fall.” A few minutes later, my party was in front of me. I explained to them the situation. “We should get back on the double,” said Arceus. I nodded. “I got some speed potions from Cindy. We can feed them to the horses to make them run extra fast.” “Good idea,” said Bob. “How many speed potions do you have?” asked the ranger. “Only four,” I replied. “What about your pet?” “Oh…” I thought for a moment. “I’ll just carry him.” “Okay, let’s mount up.” We all got on our horses. Daisy came over to us. “Are you leaving already?” she asked. “Yeah, sorry. We would love to stay longer, but something just came up,” I answered. “I understand. We’ll be here if you ever decide to come back to visit.” “Thank you, Daisy.” “Safe travels to you all,” she said and waved. We waved and turned toward the west and our horses took us to the horizon.
”
”
Steve the Noob (Diary of Steve the Noob 22 (An Unofficial Minecraft Book) (Diary of Steve the Noob Collection))
“
Title: Professional Bridesmaid for Hire—w4w—26 (NYC) Post: When all of my friends started getting engaged, I decided to make new friends. So I did—but then they got engaged also, and for what felt like the hundredth time, I was asked to be a bridesmaid. This year alone, I’ve been a bridesmaid 4 times. That’s 4 different chiffon dresses, 4 different bachelorette parties filled with tequila shots and guys in thong underwear twerking way too close to my face, 4 different prewedding pep talks to the bride about how this is the happiest day of her life, and how marriage, probably, is just like riding a bike: a little shaky at first, but then she’ll get the hang of it. Right, she’ll ask as she wipes the mascara-stained tears from her perfectly airbrushed face. Right, I’ll say, though I don’t really know. I only know what I’ve seen and that’s a beautiful-looking bride walking down, down, down the aisle, one two, three, four times so far this year. So let me be there for you this time if: — You don’t have any other girlfriends except your third cousin, twice removed, who is often found sticking her tongue down an empty bottle of red wine. — Your fiancé has an extra groomsman and you’re looking to even things out so your pictures don’t look funny and there’s not one single guy walking down the aisle by himself. — You need someone to take control and make sure bridesmaid #4 buys her dress on time and doesn’t show up 3 hours late the day of the wedding or paint her nails lime green. Bridesmaid skills I’m exceptionally good at: — Holding up the 18 layers of your dress so that you can pee with ease on your wedding day. — Catching the bouquet and then following that moment up with my best Miss America–like “OMG, I can’t believe this” speech. — Doing the electric and the cha-cha slide. — Responding in a timely manner to prewedding email chains created by other bridesmaids and the maid of honor.
”
”
Jen Glantz (Always a Bridesmaid (For Hire): Stories on Growing Up, Looking for Love, and Walking Down the Aisle for Complete Strangers)
“
Dom, did you just sway your hips?” Busted. Though shrouded in the dark, I see her eyes bugging wide along with her smile. “O.M.G. Did you just dance a little with me?!” Sighing, I press my forehead to hers. “Cecelia?” “Yes?” She beams back at me. “When you call me out for this shit, it stops. Haven’t you figured that out by now?” “That you’re a closet romantic and love it,” she drops drastically. “Yes. I figured that out ages ago. You’re really not that smart nor smooth, King.
”
”
Kate Stewart (One Last Rainy Day: The Legacy of a Prince (Ravenhood Legacy, #1))
“
SORRY YOU FOUND OUT THIS WAY… Anitra: Hi Dave, I found some cum on me and your fathers that, what were you and Lisa doing on your room? Love, mom.
Rubin: OMG, im sooooo sorry you found out this way! OMG, I’m so sorry mom!
Anitra: I meant gum… What HAVE you been doing??
Rubin: Oh shit
”
”
James MacBrowning (Best Autocorrect Fails: Text Messages That Didn't Mean to Send)
“
O.M.G. Lucca, what are you feeding her? Everyday I look at you, and I swear those twinnes must double in size. Look at your bump in this dress, how are you managing to cart that around? Rather you than me chubby." ~Hazel
”
”
S.J. Molloy (Luminoso (Luminara, #4))
“
Shakespeare Sonnet XVIII: Twilight Vampires
Shall I compare thee to a Twilight brute?
Thou art more alluring and far too cute.
Thy skin like marble quarried from Carrara's mines,
Stands an Augustan temple of flawless white.
Thy complexion like gems sparkle in heaven's vault
When fair sun rises and bids adieu to Stygian night.
Thy teeth, like Wolverine's talons, lie hidden
Until primed to pierce their prey.
(OMG, you'd be one badass X-Men
If only you could work by day).
Thy eyes turn crimson like the devil's cock,
When upon human blood ye feast.
Who can turn their gaze from thee,
Not I, nor king, nor priest.
So long as mortals can breathe or Children of the Moon can see,
Take my love, my freshest blood, which bequeaths immortal life to thee.
”
”
Beryl Dov
“
Love?
Love…what is love?
These emotions… are to confusing
This pain… won't go away
That kiss you gave me…
That's what stole me away
~omg i wrote this 4 years ago... XP
i found it in a old post i made on a different site
”
”
Leticia Sanchez me
“
To anyone who is brave enough to love me,do you know that human body is sixty percent water approximately.So when I walk into a room filled with water all I see is an ocean
”
”
Rudy Francisco (Helium (Button Poetry))
“
Brit: OH MY GOD. Tyler. It’s a woman, isn’t it? You’re dating someone! Who is she? What’s her name? When do we get to meet her? Are you bringing her home for Christmas? Is she a bunny, or is she someone else? Wait! Wait! Are you dating one of your teammates’ sisters? OH MY GOD. You’re dating the coach’s daughter and you’re trying to make a good impression, aren’t you? Tyler: *picture of a skinny white guy with big glasses* Haha! Psych. I stole this phone. This is me. I’m Bernard. You guys sound like fun. Will you adopt me? I’ll send you my real number. Dad: That’s a funny Grand Canyon of a vagina, Tyler, my favorite son, god of the sun and moon, he who bangs best. Dad: Grand Canyon of a vagina. Dad: WHO CHANGED MY PHONE TO INSULT YOUR YO-YO MA’S SEX TAPE? Dad: BEEEEEEEEEEEP. Keely: OMG, I’m wheezing. Allie: My favorite part of this is that Tyler’s going to get blamed for changing the autocorrect setting in Dad’s phone. Again. Brit: I can’t believe no one changed “joke” in his phone before now. Dad: I CAN STILL SEE YOUR MESSAGES.
”
”
Pippa Grant (I Pucking Love You (The Copper Valley Thrusters #5))
“
There's no use being a sad person or constantly looking at your past because it won't do anything but push you down and stop you from achieving your goals... The goal of the century should be "To be happy and enjoy the today " cuz one day you're gonna take a look back at your life and you would never want to be like "I wish I enjoyed it more than being hesitant and sad but " omg look what I have been I've enjoyed my life a lot and look how I was the best version of myself"...
”
”
literary grizzly
“
She looks up at me with misty eyes. ‘Talking of boys- are you eager about tonight?’ ‘About what?’ I say acting like I don't know what is going to go down, or don’t even know what she’s talking about. I play dumb! Her words are all running past me, faster than how she drives, everything is distorted together. Jenny always talks like that when she gets upset. Her words go into overdrive. I’m holding on to the bedpost, trying not to fall over, or on top of Jenny, I would love to sit down yet, Jenny is hogging up my single bed. She said- ‘I think you should back up with Ray or do him already.’ She throws me a condom from her purse.
I said- ‘Who do you think would be my type then?’ ‘You, Marcel, some worm Bud Lite, and his Star Wars sheets. OMG that would be perfect and she giggles. ‘How romantic,’ she shouted. Though, I was thinking OMG Jenny you’re always right. Like it would be so romantic, yet little did she know I felt that way, already… I never realized how much of a weirdo I am. I have fallen to a complete nerd, on the outside, I have completely changed, but on the inside, I am one too! We all try to be something we're not in high school, even Jenny has everyone fooled.
Nevertheless, the ones that seem the most put together are the ones that are falling apart the most. No one’s life is as good as it seems, and it’s even worse when you’re like Jull’s and Madilyn that have us throwing crap in their faces. I stand here feeling like such an ass hole, not even hearing what Jenny is rambling on about, because it’s nonsense, compared to what I have done in my thoughts.
-White teeth teens are out-
#- Hashtag: (unperfect girls, the charmed life, we want real love)
I go pee one last time, and Jenny flows me in the bathroom and sits on the edge of the tube looking at me as I go. Then after I got up, she went, I was thinking like we didn’t need to do this together, yet how Jenny is we have to do everything together. That is when my sis walks into my room and says- ‘I have to Ba-bath Karly, would I get my stuff Re-ready and help me take a bath?’ I try to close the door saying get mom to bath you, but she wedges her hand in at the last minute and pushes into the bathroom.
”
”
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh Dreaming of you Play with Me)
“
I love my family and they have always been my world. But, now my world has you in it, and with the way things are those two worlds can’t be together.
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Nicole Gulla (The Lure of the Moon (The Scripter Trilogy, #1))
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How could you keep this from me? How could you let me fall for you?” I shouted, as I uncontrollably shoved him, repeatedly. “I meant nothing to you, did I?”
“Look at me!” he yelled, gesturing his arms as the rain cascaded off of him. “I’m standing here. What more do I have to do to prove what you mean to me?” he proclaimed, as he engulfed the space between us, steeling my breath. Intense passion radiated from him as he spoke.
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Nicole Gulla
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2 to 2gether together 4 for 4eva forever any1 anyone BFF best friends forever BFFAE best friends forever and ever b-room bathroom b/t between c See caf cafeteria comm committee comp computer DEK don’t even know def definitely diff different disc discussion fab fabulous fac faculty fave favorite fone phone fyi for your information gtg gotta go gn good night gnight good night hw homework ICB I can’t believe IDC I don’t care IDK I don’t know IHNC I have no clue IK I know ILY I love you ILYSM I love you so much JK just kidding K okay L8r later LMK let me know lol laugh out loud luv love n e way anyway nums numbers obv obviously obvi obviously OMG oh my God peeps people pgs pages plzzzz please pos possibly q question r are rlly really sci science sec second sem semester scheds schedules SWAK sealed with a kiss TBH to be honest thx thanks tm tomorrow tmrw tomorrow tomrw tomorrow tomw tomorrow totes totally u you ur your vv very, very w/ with wb write back w/o without WIGO what is going on whatev whatever wut what wuzzzz what’s Y why
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Lisa Greenwald (TBH, This Is So Awkward (TBH, #1))