Olsen Twins Quotes

Lifelong full-body salving is why Black folks look so young. Black doesn’t snap, crackle, or pop—why? Because: moisture. It’s why some of us look twelve at thirty. Listen to me, white folks. I’m dropping life secrets here. Why else do you think the Olsen twins (born in 1986) look the same age as Nia Long (born in 1970)? You haven’t used the BUTTERS.

Nick is right, the Olsen twins do have a worrisome co-dependent relationship. I understand those bitches, though, I really do.

Manuelo: Have another muffin. They're still warm from the oven. Chloe: My life is a mess, Manuelo. Another muffin isn't going to help. Manuelo: It can't hurt.

Chloe Carlson: But don't think I'm all alone without Lennon. Oh, no. I'll be perfectly fine. I still have my friends, Ben and Jerry. Riley Carlson: They're my friends too!

I pride myself on being able to read whole chapters into a single syllable, you know? What girl doesn't? So when Lennon said "Hi", I ran through a whole list of possibilities. Was it, "Hi, I wish you were Chloe instead of Riley so I could make up with you"? Or did he mean, "You look exactly like the girl I'm totally over, so get out of my sight"? Or was it just, "Hi, I hope you're not as down on me as your sister is and, by the way, could you be careful not to spill anything, either"? But none of those sounded right. Finally I had to admit that he might have just been trying to say hello. Call me crazy, but it could be true!

The phone ringing came on the heels of several shitty weeks of being spread thinner than an Olsen twin.

Riley Carlson: So I guess I know what you wanted to tell me. I mean, you made it pretty clear that you don't want to go out with an average girl. Marc Hudson: That's right, I don't. I want to go out with YOU. There's nothing average about you, Riley.

Yo momma's so skinny she can use a bracelet as a hula hoop. Yo momma's so thin that if she stands in front of a wall she looks like a crack. Yo momma's so skinny she can't sideways when taking a selfie. Yo momma's so skinny she played the part of the staff in the story of Moses. Yo momma's so skinny she hid behind a stick during a game of hide and seek. Yo momma's so skinny, her pants have one belt loop. Yo momma's so skinny when she is taking a shower, she has to run around to get wet. Yo momma's legs so skinny, she looks like a blow pop. Yo momma's so skinny she can hang glide off a dorito. Yo momma's so skinny I put a dime on her head and people mistook her for a Nail. Yo momma's so skinny, she can grate cheese on her ribs. Yo momma's so skinny, when I slapped her I got a paper cut! Yo momma's so skinny, if she had a sesame seed on her head, she'd look like a push pin. Yo momma's so skinny the Olsen Twins called and said they want their eating disorder back. Yo momma's so skinny, if she turned sideways and stuck out her tongue, she would look like a zipper. Yo momma's so skinny, she can see out the peephole with both eyes. Yo momma's so skinny, she could dive through a fence.

If you're having a bad hair day or a bad boy day, he'll whip up one of his yummy mango smoothies for you, sit you down, and say, "Little one, remember what's really important in life: a family that loves you, good friends, and not putting too much garlic in the pesto." — Chloe Carlson

Don’t ever feel inadequate when you look at magazines. Just remember that every person you see on a cover has a bra and underwear hanging out a gaping hole in the back. Everyone. Heidi Klum, the Olsen Twins, David Beckham, everybody.

For a brief moment, Trump looked to be taking seriously the twin problems of contagion and economic contraction. His approval rating began to rise. It reached a high of 47 percent in the RealClearPolitics average on April 1. That put him in the zone for reelection, according to Washington Post columnist Henry Olsen.21

We watched Victoria Beckham shrink into her seat at the World Cup and traced the curves of Kate Moss's thighs in her gold lurex Glastonbury minidress. We swelled with longing as sequins dripped from the narrow shoulders of the Olsen twins and signed with envy as the inky daisies tattooed around Peaches Geldof's stomach squeezed her into a smaller, more angular shape. We watched Alexa Chung form a long black line in her skinny jeans and ogled Cassie from Skins, angel-haired in a green-gold dress, spun out on pills in the dawn.

Once your hair and makeup are done, you’ll slip into your first look. It will most definitely be one of the dresses that didn’t even come close to fitting you, so Lot’s Wife will bridge the gap with a thick piece of white elastic and some safety pins. Don’t ever feel inadequate when you look at magazines. Just remember that every person you see on a cover has a bra and underwear hanging out a gaping hole in the back. Everyone. Heidi Klum, the Olsen Twins, David Beckham, everybody.