Oliver Reed Quotes

Do what you must, but do it well, above all enjoy yourself!

A bird sings in the morning, an owl hoots at night...it's still a bloody bird.

Yo Mama's so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes.

Conner looking at the text he sent Jeff the night before: 8:42pm..Reed:Need you to go to Denver w me. 8:46pm..Jeff: in meeting. give me 1 hr. 8:53pm..Reed: no can do. want wife back. going now. think i cn talk her into it wth sperm. Hell.Please don't let him have called her. 8:53pm..Jeff: R U drinking? 8:55pm..Reed: have wht she wants. solllid plan. better than hers. 8:56pm..Jeff: leaving now. wait 4 me. 9:02pm..Reed: don't worry botu it. 9:02pm..Jeff: WAIT 4 ME. 9:04pm..Jeff: PICKUP YOU PHONE 9:57pm..Jeff: you should stop for drink @ that bar in terminal with the big olives b4 flight. 10:22pm..Reed: hey, UR at the bar. you look pissed.

Put it on record --I am an Arab And the number of my card is fifty thousand I have eight children And the ninth is due after summer. What's there to be angry about? Put it on record. --I am an Arab Working with comrades of toil in a quarry. I have eight childern For them I wrest the loaf of bread, The clothes and exercise books From the rocks And beg for no alms at your doors, --Lower not myself at your doorstep. --What's there to be angry about? Put it on record. --I am an Arab. I am a name without a tide, Patient in a country where everything Lives in a whirlpool of anger. --My roots --Took hold before the birth of time --Before the burgeoning of the ages, --Before cypess and olive trees, --Before the proliferation of weeds. My father is from the family of the plough --Not from highborn nobles. And my grandfather was a peasant --Without line or genealogy. My house is a watchman's hut --Made of sticks and reeds. Does my status satisfy you? --I am a name without a surname. Put it on Record. --I am an Arab. Color of hair: jet black. Color of eyes: brown. My distinguishing features: --On my head the 'iqal cords over a keffiyeh --Scratching him who touches it. My address: --I'm from a village, remote, forgotten, --Its streets without name --And all its men in the fields and quarry. --What's there to be angry about? Put it on record. --I am an Arab. You stole my forefathers' vineyards --And land I used to till, --I and all my childern, --And you left us and all my grandchildren --Nothing but these rocks. --Will your government be taking them too --As is being said? So! --Put it on record at the top of page one: --I don't hate people, --I trespass on no one's property. And yet, if I were to become starved --I shall eat the flesh of my usurper. --Beware, beware of my starvation. --And of my anger!

American men like their women to have these special teeth...

Chuck Norris CAN understand women.

Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight, the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo Mama’s so poor, when I lit her house on fire, the cockroaches came out singing, “Clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got some heat!

Yo Mama sucks so much d***, her lips went double platinum.

Yo Mama's like a library, open to the public.

Yo Mama's so fat, her ass has its own congressman!

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.

He began to get the feeling that dear Uncle Carol "was drifting about in an Edwardian summer

The gallinule's candy-corn bill--- yellow at the tip, orange toward the eye---points at the waterline, and the blue and green of the feathers glint in the sunlight. I sketch the light blue cap and the oval body, hinting at its iridescence. The bird pokes her head sharply into the water, swallows, and beings to meander. She walks across floating lilies, pad to pad, and then into the reeds until I can't see her anymore, no matter how I steer the canoe. When she's gone, I look at my drawing. "Hee-hee!" I say aloud, sketching a few more quick studies to indicate her motion and the intensity of her stare, with notes on the deep iris blue of the head and breast, the aqua of the back and wings graduating to olive at the tips, and underneath an inky black.

The actual house not of beams and nails but of existence itself— is all of earth, with no door, no address separate from oceans or stars, or from pleasure or wretchedness either, or hope, or weakness, or reed. How wonderful that the universe is beautiful in so many places and in so many ways.

Secondly, we worship creatures by [109] honouring those places or persons whom God has associated with the work of our salvation, whether before our Lord's coming or since the dispensation of His incarnation. For instance, I venerate Mount Sinai, Nazareth, the stable at Bethlehem, and the cave, the sacred mount of Golgotha, the wood of the Cross, the nails and sponge and reed, the sacred and saving lance, the dress and tunic, the linen cloths, the swathing clothes, the holy tomb, the source of our resurrection, the sepulchre, the holy mountain of Sion and the mountain of Olives, the Pool of Bethsaida and the sacred garden of Gethsemane, and all similar spots. I cherish them and every holy temple of God, and everything connected with God's name, not on their own account but because they show forth the divine power, and through them and in them it pleased God to bring about our salvation. I venerate and worship angels and men, and all matter participating in divine power and ministering to our salvation through it. I do not worship the Jews. They are not participators in divine power, nor have they contributed to my salvation. They crucified my God, the King of [110] Glory, moved rather by envy and hatred against God their Benefactor. "Lord, I have loved the beauty of Thy house," (Ps. 26.8) says David, "we will adore in the place where his feet stood. And adore at His holy mountain." (Ps. 132.7; 99.9) The holy Mother of God is the living holy mountain of God. The apostles are the teaching mountains of God. "The mountains skipped like rams, and the hills like the lambs of the flock." (I Cor. 10.11) The

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order.

Yo Mama’s so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white.

Yo Mama’s so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said, “Sorry, no professionals.

If Yo Mama and Yo Daddy got a divorce, they'd still be brother and sister.

Yo Mama's like mustard, she spreads easy.

What’s the difference between Yo Mama and a 747? -About 20 pounds. -Yo mama carries more passengers. -Not everyone's been on a 747.

No One Fucks With Chuck Norris

on the eve of scoring his biggest ever movie triumph with Gladiator. What follows is the story of four

Being academically gifted Burton was saved from a life of drudgery down the mines but when his family hit a rocky financial patch he was forced to quit school and take a job as a shop assistant, his way out of the valleys through education seemingly strangled at birth. It was then that acting presented itself as a new means of escape when Burton joined a local club and began performing in shows, so impressing the youth leader who managed to persuade the council to readmit the boy to school after almost two years’ absence. It was an unprecedented move.

And he might have added we are an imagining reed—we can conjure with the universe that so casually could destroy us. And that’s the paradox, he said, of the grandeur of this species and also its infinite vulnerability.

The articles were written by a journalist under the pseudonym Amos Dixon. An introductory note in the first installment described Dixon as a white southerner who had covered the murder trial in Sumner and “talked freely to those who knew what happened.”79 Unlike Huie, Dixon maintained that Milam and Bryant had accomplices, and he names them. His account aligns more closely with the testimonies of Willie Reed, Mandy Bradley, and Add Reed, which “Shocking Story” ignored completely. Midway through publication of the series, a thirty-five-page booklet appeared, titled Time Bomb: Mississippi Exposed and the Full Story of Emmett Till, and it told a similar story as Dixon had provided. It was written by Olive Arnold Adams, wife of New York Age Defender publisher Julius Adams. A seven-page chapter dealt specifically with the Till case.80 Dr.

Jerusalem, 61 AD Mariamne dipped her reed pen into the shallow wooden bowl of charcoal and olive oil ink and began writing her last entry on the parchment page in front of her.