Notification Squad Quotes

We found the girl’s body and I had to go tell the parents. It was around midnight, but this wasn’t the sort of thing that could wait until morning. I called our contact number for the Catholic diocese in Colorado Springs, looking for a priest to accompany me so he could console this deeply religious family. The priest who answered the phone at the diocese residence said, “We don’t go out at night.” That was it. His team kept banker’s hours. I hung up on the soulless priest and called a good-guy rabbi I’d known for years. I told him that the daughter of a Catholic family had been murdered but I couldn’t get a priest to go with me for the notification. “Why not?” the rabbi asked. “Apparently, they don’t go out at night.” “Bastards,” he said. I had no interest in igniting a holy war, or an unholy war, I just needed someone from the God Squad to be there when I delivered horrible news to these nice people. “Come pick me up, I’ll wing it,” he said. The rabbi wore a yarmulke skullcap but delivered a full round on the rosary in perfect Catholic. He stepped up and had the entire family on their knees praying in front of a Madonna statue in the living room. On the ride home, I told my Jewish friend how impressed I was with his priest impersonation. The rabbi replied: “I keep up with the competition.