Ned Flanders Quotes

We've searched our database for all the quotes and captions related to Ned Flanders. Here they are! All 7 of them:

[Ned Flanders]: Well looks like someone's having a pre-rapture party. [Homer Simpson]: No, Flanders. Its a meeting of gay witches for abortion, you wouldn't be interested.
Matt Groening
Who is this guy? Cowboy Ned Flanders?
Elsie Silver (Reckless (Chestnut Springs, #4))
Pastor Jim had both Michael J. Fox and Ned Flanders vibes, an ultimately likable combination.
Rufi Thorpe (Margo's Got Money Troubles)
I remember one time, when members of a particular sect of Christian Protestant came to our house on a Sunday afternoon, my father asked them to describe their concept of the kingdom of heaven. A well-groomed man with a Ned Flanders mustache said, sipping some coffee, “Well, sometime in the near future, there will be a great rumbling from above, lightning will strike, and there will be terrible storms. The sky will open up, and down will come Jesus Christ on a cloud with a great trumpet blast. There will be an incredibly beautiful city with gold and silver turrets that descends with angels on it, and this is the kingdom of God. The good Christians will get into the city, and it will float away with Jesus to be with God, the Father, and the rest of the people will be left behind, left on earth to perish.” And then he politely responded with something to the effect of, “What is the Baha’i concept?” My dad, a wise spiritual teacher and public speaker, responded, “Well, in a lot of ways, it’s very similar. There will be great storms and lightning and thunder, and the skies will open up. Down from a hole in the clouds doesn’t come a city or Jesus or anything but rather a bunch of bags of cement. Some shovels and hammers. Bricks and mortar and nails and lumber. And finally, at the very end, a note floats down on the breeze and lands on top of all the supplies. It reads: ‘Kingdom of God on Earth: Build-It-Yourself Kit.
Rainn Wilson (Soul Boom: Why We Need a Spiritual Revolution)
Cowboy Ned Flanders?
Elsie Silver (Reckless (Chestnut Springs, #4))
Ned Flanders’s real name was Park Jones. He was a child molester who’d befriended a boy who had easy access to young girls. She thinks of Ben’s handwritten note at the library: BROOD-ROBOT LLC-FAGIN JONES. Ben loved to read; he’d referenced Boo Radley. And Fagin is an infamous character from a Dickens novel—a despicable man who used children to commit his crimes. Flanders used Artemis to lure girls.
Alex Finlay (What Have We Done)
We have to weigh every decision, because a butterfly flapping its wings in Nova Scotia could cause a hurricane in Guam. Or, as Homer Simpson taught us, if you kill a mosquito in dinosaur times, Ned Flanders might become the unquestioned lord and master of the universe.
Johnny B. Truant (The Universe Doesn't Give a Flying Fuck About You)