“
Happiness depends on your mindset and attitude.
”
”
Roy T. Bennett (The Light in the Heart)
“
The only time you fail is when you fall down and stay down.
”
”
Stephen Richards (Cosmic Ordering: You can be successful)
“
The mind is just like a muscle - the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets and the more it can expand.
”
”
Idowu Koyenikan (Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability)
“
Those with a grateful mindset tend to see the message in the mess. And even though life may knock them down, the grateful find reasons, if even small ones, to get up.
”
”
Steve Maraboli (Life, the Truth, and Being Free)
“
The mind has a powerful way of attracting things that are in harmony with it, good and bad.
”
”
Idowu Koyenikan (Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability)
“
When you connect to the silence within you, that is when you can make sense of the disturbance going on around you.
”
”
Stephen Richards
“
...an optimistic mind-set finds dozens of possible solutions for every problem that the pessimist regards as incurable.
”
”
Robert Anton Wilson (Cosmic Trigger: Die letzten Geheimnisse der Illuminaten oder An den Grenzen des erweiterten Bewusstseins)
“
Mind is a flexible mirror, adjust it, to see a better world.
”
”
Amit Ray (Mindfulness Living in the Moment - Living in the Breath)
“
It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
You must have a level of discontent to feel the urge to want to grow.
”
”
Idowu Koyenikan (Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability)
“
The victim mindset dilutes the human potential. By not accepting personal responsibility for our circumstances, we greatly reduce our power to change them.
”
”
Steve Maraboli (Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience)
“
The pleasure we derive from journeys is perhaps dependent more on the mindset with which we travel than on the destination we travel to.
”
”
Alain de Botton (The Art of Travel)
“
Life is like a game of chess.
To win you have to make a move.
Knowing which move to make comes with IN-SIGHT
and knowledge, and by learning the lessons that are
acculated along the way.
We become each and every piece within the game called life!
”
”
Allan Rufus (The Master's Sacred Knowledge)
“
Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it.
”
”
Steve Maraboli (Life, the Truth, and Being Free)
“
Happy people produce. Bored people consume.
”
”
Stephen Richards
“
If a tree’s strength is judged while it is still a seed, it is mistaken as weak.
”
”
Idowu Koyenikan (All You Need Is a Ball: What Soccer Teaches Us about Success in Life and Business)
“
Whenever you are going through life’s challenges, remember that for iron to be cast into its desired form, it must first go through intense heat.
”
”
Idowu Koyenikan (All You Need Is a Ball: What Soccer Teaches Us about Success in Life and Business)
“
If you want to love what you do, abandon the passion mindset (“what can the world offer me?”) and instead adopt the craftsman mindset (“what can I offer the world?”).
”
”
Cal Newport (So Good They Can't Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love)
“
A relationship built on lies and trickery will not last; only truthfulness can uphold a relationship
”
”
Idowu Koyenikan (Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability)
“
Becoming is better than being
”
”
Carol S. Dweck (Mindset: The New Psychology of Success)
“
Life is like a sandwich!
Birth as one slice,
and death as the other.
What you put in-between
the slices is up to you.
Is your sandwich tasty or sour?
Allan Rufus.org
”
”
Allan Rufus
“
Happiness has to do with your mindset, not with outside circumstance.
”
”
Steve Maraboli (Life, the Truth, and Being Free)
“
If you walked away from a
toxic, negative, abusive,
one-sided, dead-end
low vibrational
relationship or friendship
— you won.
”
”
Lalah Delia
“
A grateful mindset can set you free from the prison of disempowerment and the shackles of misery.
”
”
Steve Maraboli (Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience)
“
I don’t mind losing as long as I see improvement or I feel I’ve done as well as I possibly could.
”
”
Carol S. Dweck (Mindset: The New Psychology of Success)
“
Open the window of your mind. Allow the fresh air, new lights and new truths to enter.
”
”
Amit Ray (Walking the Path of Compassion)
“
6 Ways To Give Your Mind A Break:
1. Stop stressing
2. Stop worrying
3. Give rest to the problems weighing you down
4. Lighten up
5. Forgive yourself
6. Forgive others
”
”
Germany Kent
“
We like to think of our champions and idols as superheroes who were born different from us. We don’t like to think of them as relatively ordinary people who made themselves extraordinary.
”
”
Carol S. Dweck (Mindset: The New Psychology of Success)
“
If we remain rooted in our integrity and envision life in its intense, original beauty, we can create an authentic mindset allowing us to surf freely on the waves of our aspirations. ("Into a new life")
”
”
Erik Pevernagie
“
Peace of mind arrives the moment you come to peace with the contents of your mind.
”
”
Rasheed Ogunlaru
“
There is nothing either ' good or bad ' but ' thinking ' makes it so. It is the "perception" that makes things what they are. Good and bad is in our mind. It is our mindset, our mental attitude that determines how we will interpret and respond to situations.
Erik pevernagie - ("Is that all there is ?")
”
”
Erik Pevernagie
“
I’m sure you've heard the adage "thoughts are things" or perhaps "believe and you will achieve". There are variations on these principles, but they drill down to the same basic concept; it's a mindset and it works.
”
”
C. Toni Graham
“
When love stealthily settles down in our inner world as we dwell through fields of expectations with eyes wide open, unfurling sceneries of wonderment slowly unroll on our path and overwhelm our mindset. ("I seek you")
”
”
Erik Pevernagie
“
no matter what your ability is, effort is what ignites that ability and turns it into accomplishment.
”
”
Carol S. Dweck (Mindset: The New Psychology of Success)
“
When we dare to think differently and decide to expand our thinking, we instill fresh energy in our drained mindset. By infusing new life into our neural web, we create inner space in our journey to self-knowledge and deeper insight.( "Lost dreams")
”
”
Erik Pevernagie
“
When the murmuring of love swells the river of our inner and overflows the boundaries of our emotions, the banks of oblivion start bursting, and its healing power overwhelms the numbness of our mindset. ("Crystallization under an umbrella")
”
”
Erik Pevernagie
“
When love is roaming in our mind, looping in the deepest fringes of our heart, undreamt spaciousness emerges, repealing the constraints of triviality and letting stifling narrowness fade away. While our mindset is besieged by a revolving burst of emotion, our world is ultimately opening up. (Cape of good hope)
”
”
Erik Pevernagie
“
As we might be overwhelmed by the dictate of a mindset at odds with reality, and cannot get a grip on our unconsciousness, rather than curling up in the hive of uncomfortable expectations, let us cry out and unshackle our free will. ("Transcendental journey")
”
”
Erik Pevernagie
“
People who feel imprisoned in a pen of alienation, in a world of misfits, clobbered by unresponsiveness and indifference, may find release by ring-fencing a mental space to reflect on their mindset and to recover their true self. ("Did not expect it would ever happen there" )
”
”
Erik Pevernagie
“
Never underestimate the power you have to take your life in a new direction.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
It is easier for one to take risks and to chase his dreams with a mindset that he has nothing to lose. In this lies the immense passion, the great advantage of avoiding a materialistic, pleasure-filled way of life.
”
”
Criss Jami (Killosophy)
“
Picture your brain forming new connections as you meet the challenge and learn. Keep on going.
”
”
Carol S. Dweck (Mindset: The New Psychology of Success)
“
Persistence guarantees that results are inevitable.
”
”
Paramahansa Yogananda
“
You make a difference about your life it's a knock on the head of mind setting your life you see the stars they shine across the way you build a bridge you make it shine the only way to make a difference is to help the community!
”
”
Demi Lovato
“
If the light in our hearts can brighten up the darkness in the mindset of our neighbors, we liberate them from a prison of distrust and prejudice. The healing glow unshackles the frozen atoms of their minds. ("Le ciel c'est l'autre")
”
”
Erik Pevernagie
“
True self-confidence is “the courage to be open—to welcome change and new ideas regardless of their source.” Real self-confidence is not reflected in a title, an expensive suit, a fancy car, or a series of acquisitions. It is reflected in your mindset: your readiness to grow.
”
”
Carol S. Dweck (Mindset: The New Psychology of Success)
“
How to win in life:
1 work hard
2 complain less
3 listen more
4 try, learn, grow
5 don't let people tell you it cant be done
6 make no excuses
”
”
Germany Kent
“
Goals want to realize themselves.
”
”
Zoltan Andrejkovics (The Invisible Game: The Mindset of a Winning Team)
“
He didn’t ask for mistake-free games. He didn’t demand that his players never lose. He asked for full preparation and full effort from them. “Did I win? Did I lose? Those are the wrong questions. The correct question is: Did I make my best effort?” If so, he says, “You may be outscored but you will never lose.
”
”
Carol S. Dweck (Mindset: The New Psychology of Success)
“
The abusive man’s high entitlement leads him to have unfair and unreasonable expectations, so that the relationship revolves around his demands. His attitude is: “You owe me.” For each ounce he gives, he wants a pound in return. He wants his partner to devote herself fully to catering to him, even if it means that her own needs—or her children’s—get neglected. You can pour all your energy into keeping your partner content, but if he has this mind-set, he’ll never be satisfied for long. And he will keep feeling that you are controlling him, because he doesn’t believe that you should set any limits on his conduct or insist that he meet his responsibilities.
”
”
Lundy Bancroft (Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men)
“
The mindset isn’t about seeking a result—it’s more about the process of getting to that result. It’s about the journey and the approach. It’s a way of life. I do think that it’s important, in all endeavors, to have that mentality.
”
”
Kobe Bryant (The Mamba Mentality: How I Play)
“
If you think you can then you can.
”
”
Stephen Richards
“
Crippled in the mind, some can no longer bring home their soul in the mosaic of their thinking pattern. By changing the logic model of our mindset, becoming an apprentice of new matters, and turning our emotional approach upside down, we can bring dormant energy to life and restore mental balance. (The freedom of new thinking)
”
”
Erik Pevernagie
“
A soul mate is not found. A soul mate is recognized.
”
”
Vironika Tugaleva (The Love Mindset: An Unconventional Guide to Healing and Happiness)
“
This is something I know for a fact: You have to work hardest for the things you love most.
”
”
Carol S. Dweck (Mindset: How You Can Fulfil Your Potential)
“
I don't stop when I'm tired. I stop when I'm done
”
”
David Goggins (Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds)
“
Almost all arguments are needless because the two ideas being fought over are both broken ideas that stem from a faulty system that’s poisoned by money and power. If you take away money from the equation, people would find that most of the broken ideas and labels they argue over would instantly evaporate. It would behoove humanity to focus on addressing the root issue to solve the myriad of problems stemming from it, and many a root’s problem is money. Money is the main problem that’s holding us back from advancing as a civilization. Well, if you want to be exact, the main problem is the mindset of those who govern, regulate, and influence this planet, which is mostly done with money. So humanity’s mindset is the main problem, and I say ‘humanity’s mindset’ instead of the elite’s mindset because those who govern and regulate the world disseminate their skewed mindset to the common man like an infection, so it also becomes the common man’s mindset. But money is the main problematic tool that those with the skewed mindset who govern and regulate the world utilize to fulfill their agendas.
”
”
Jasun Ether (The Beasts of Success)
“
Sometimes we have to soak ourselves in the tears and fears of the past to water our future gardens.
”
”
Suzy Kassem (Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem)
“
The greatest win is walking away and choosing not to engage in drama and toxic energy at all.
”
”
Lalah Delia
“
Life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy by yourself and for yourself. Happiness comes from within. You have the power to change your own mindset so that all the negative, horrible thoughts that try to invade your psyche are replaced with happy, positive, wonderful thoughts.
”
”
Ellen DeGeneres (Seriously... I'm Kidding)
“
Why waste time proving over and over how great you are, when you could be getting better? Why hide deficiencies instead of overcoming them? Why look for friends or partners who will just shore up your self-esteem instead of ones who will also challenge you to grow? And why seek out the tried and true, instead of experiences that will stretch you? The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of the growth mindset. This is the mindset that allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times in their lives.
”
”
Carol S. Dweck (Mindset: The New Psychology of Success)
“
Finding a balance between living in the present and planning for the future is a key to navigating uncertainty. It's about aligning our mindset with the understanding that expectations and strategies should be adaptable and fluid, not rigid or dogmatic. ("Life had taken them by Surprise “)
”
”
Erik Pevernagie
“
Mindset change is not about picking up a few pointers here and there. It's about seeing things in a new way. When people...change to a growth mindset, they change from a judge-and-be-judged framework to a learn-and-help-learn framework. Their commitment is to growth, and growth take plenty of time, effort, and mutual support.
”
”
Carol S. Dweck (Mindset: The New Psychology of Success)
“
I am wired by nature to love the same toys that the world loves. I start to fit in. I start to love what others love. I start to call earth "home." Before you know it, I am calling luxeries "needs" and using my money just the way unbelievers do. I begin to forget the war. I don't think much about people perishing. Missions and unreached people drop out of my mind. I stop dreaming about the triumphs of grace. I sink into a secular mind-set that looks first to what man can do, not what God can do. It is a terrible sickness. And I thank God for those who have forced me again and again toward a wartime mind-set.
”
”
John Piper (Don't Waste Your Life)
“
Perhaps the most liberating moment in my life was when I realized that my self-loathing was not a product of my inadequacy but, rather, a product of my thoughts.
”
”
Vironika Tugaleva (The Love Mindset: An Unconventional Guide to Healing and Happiness)
“
Sure, the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaned like everyone else said it would, the mountains of Tibet were more beautiful than you had ever expected, and the Pyramids of Egypt stood mysteriously in the sea of sand like in the pictures; yet is it the environment or rather the openness in mindset, that makes up the elusive essence of happiness that we experience when we travel?
”
”
Forrest Curran
“
...when people already know they're deficient, they have nothing to lose by trying.
”
”
Carol S. Dweck (Mindset: The New Psychology of Success)
“
In the fixed mindset, everything is about the outcome. If you fail—or if you’re not the best—it’s all been wasted. The growth mindset allows people to value what they’re doing regardless of the outcome . They’re tackling problems, charting new courses, working on important issues. Maybe they haven’t found the cure for cancer, but the search was deeply meaningful.
”
”
Carol S. Dweck (Mindset: The New Psychology of Success)
“
Hard work does not go unnoticed,
and someday the rewards will follow
”
”
Allan Rufus (The Master's Sacred Knowledge)
“
So what should we say when children complete a task—say, math problems—quickly and perfectly? Should we deny them the praise they have earned? Yes. When this happens, I say, “Whoops. I guess that was too easy. I apologize for wasting your time. Let’s do something you can really learn from!
”
”
Carol S. Dweck (Mindset: The New Psychology of Success)
“
Some incidents can make us angry. Anger may accompany us along a road we have not always chosen freely to walk. Outrage can be the emanation of our resentment or an outcry against guilty indifference. However, no matter how harrowing it may be, rage must not take control of our mindset, steer the wheel of our actions, and blind our vision. (“The infinite Wisdom of Meditation“)
”
”
Erik Pevernagie
“
Convince yourself everyday that you are worthy of a good life. Let go of stress, breathe. Stay positive, all is well.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
Success in life is not for those who run fast, but for those who keep running and always on the move.
”
”
Bangambiki Habyarimana (Pearls Of Eternity)
“
If you find yourself easily provoked,
then just change the channel.
”
”
Toba Beta (Betelgeuse Incident: Insiden Bait Al-Jauza)
“
Liberty is lost through complacency and a subservient mindset. When we accept or even welcome automobile checkpoints, random searches, mandatory identification cards, and paramilitary police in our streets, we have lost a vital part of our American heritage. America was born of protest, revolution, and mistrust of government. Subservient societies neither maintain nor deserve freedom for long.
”
”
Ron Paul
“
The people who invented the twenty-first century were pot-smoking, sandal-wearing hippies from the West Coast like Steve, because they saw differently,” he said. "The hierarchical systems of the East Coast, England, Germany, and Japan do not encourage this different thinking. The sixties produced an anarchic mind-set that is great for imagining a world not yet in existence.
”
”
Walter Isaacson (Steve Jobs)
“
it’s not always the people who start out the smartest who end up the smartest.
”
”
Carol S. Dweck (Mindset: How You Can Fulfil Your Potential)
“
Don't live the same day over and over again and call that a life. Life is about evolving mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
I've come to the point where I never feel the need to stop and evaluate whether or not I am happy. I'm just 'being', and without question, by default, it works.
”
”
Criss Jami (Diotima, Battery, Electric Personality)
“
Like most North Americans of his generation, Hal tends to know way less about why he feels certain ways about the objects and pursuits he's devoted to than he does about the objects and pursuits themselves. It's hard to say for sure whether this is even exceptionally bad, this tendency.
”
”
David Foster Wallace (Infinite Jest)
“
If a person studies too much and exhausts his reflective powers, he will be confused, and will not be able to apprehend even that which had been within the power of his apprehension. For the powers of the body are all alike in this respect.
”
”
Maimonides
“
Always have a 'Plan C
”
”
Zoltan Andrejkovics (The Invisible Game: The Mindset of a Winning Team)
“
Today and onwards, I stand proud, for the bridges I've climbed, for the battles I've won, and for the examples I've set, but most importantly, for the person I have become. I like who I am now, finally, at peace with me...
”
”
Heather James (Things a Mother Should Know)
“
Letting go of attachments to material possessions, relationships, or past experiences that stifle or no longer serve us can be liberating and allow us to move forward with our lives. When we contain our 'loss aversion,' we learn to bounce back from setbacks and master the qualities for navigating life's challenges. We can
convert the terror of loss aversion into a mindset leading to greater freedom and personal empowerment. (“Paper Boats Forever »)
”
”
Erik Pevernagie
“
I believe ability can get you to the top,” says coach John Wooden, “but it takes character to keep you there.… It’s so easy to … begin thinking you can just ‘turn it on’ automatically, without proper preparation. It takes real character to keep working as hard or even harder once you’re there. When you read about an athlete or team that wins over and over and over, remind yourself, ‘More than ability, they have character.'
”
”
Carol S. Dweck (Mindset: The New Psychology of Success)
“
If we don’t find the magic to keep living on the bright side of life, we must cultivate our mindset. Let us learn to be grateful for the present moment, the morning dew enchanting our eyes, the random smile of uplifting people we encounter, and the happy flashes sprinkling our life canvas. Compassion to others and ourselves gives us a sense of belonging, fulfillment, and satisfaction, brightening up the sidewalk of our day. ("Côté cour…Côté jardin")
”
”
Erik Pevernagie
“
After seven experiments with hundreds of children, we had some of the clearest findings I’ve ever seen: Praising children’s intelligence harms their motivation and it harms their performance. How can that be? Don’t children love to be praised? Yes, children love praise. And they especially love to be praised for their intelligence and talent. It really does give them a boost, a special glow—but only for the moment. The minute they hit a snag, their confidence goes out the window and their motivation hits rock bottom. If success means they’re smart, then failure means they’re dumb. That’s the fixed mindset.
”
”
Carol S. Dweck (Mindset: The New Psychology of Success)
“
By declaring our Prophet infallible and not permitting ourselves to question him, we Muslims had set up a static tyranny. The Prophet Muhammad attempted to legislate every aspect of life. By adhering to his rules of what is permitted and what is forbidden, we Muslims supressed the freedom to think for ourselves and to act as we chose. We froze the moral outlook of billions of people into the mind-set of the Arab desert in the seventh century. We were not just servants of Allah, we were slaves.
”
”
Ayaan Hirsi Ali (Infidel)
“
Should we be capable of ‘forgiving or forgetting’ to be happy? If anger is too powerful and overwhelming, and we cannot tame or cage our rage, let us forget about forgiving. But if real life does not stop crying out for us, telling us to store new energy and experiences and inviting us to sort out the tools for cleaning up our boisterous interior, a new reality may start taking shape, transmitting joy, and letting us tune in with ourselves. When we are in line with the world, we can feel a new mindset has absorbed us and eventually sense what is essential in our lives.
”
”
Erik Pevernagie
“
But I'm different now than I was then. Just like I was different at the end of the trip than I'd been in the beginning. And I'll be different tomorrow than i am today. And what that means is that i can never replicate that trip. Even if I went to the same places and met the same people, it would'nt be the same. My experience would'nt be the same. To me, that's what traveling should be about. Meeting people, learning to not only appreciate a different culture, but really enjoy it like a local, following whatever impulse strikes you. So how could I recommend a trip to someone else, if I don't even know what to expect? My advice would be to make a list of places on some index cards, shuffle them, and pick any fice at random. Then just . . . go and see what happens. If you have the right mind-set, it does'nt matter where you end up or how much money you brought. It'll be something you'll remember forever.
”
”
Nicholas Sparks (The Guardian)
“
I believe the best managers acknowledge and make room for what they do not know—not just because humility is a virtue but because until one adopts that mindset, the most striking breakthroughs cannot occur. I believe that managers must loosen the controls, not tighten them. They must accept risk; they must trust the people they work with and strive to clear the path for them; and always, they must pay attention to and engage with anything that creates fear. Moreover, successful leaders embrace the reality that their models may be wrong or incomplete. Only when we admit what we don’t know can we ever hope to learn it.
”
”
Ed Catmull (Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration)
“
The most incredible architecture
Is the architecture of Self,
which is ever changing, evolving, revolving and has unlimited beauty and light inside which radiates outwards for everyone to see and feel.
With every in breathe
you are adding to your life
and every out breathe you are releasing what is not contributing to your life.
Every breathe is a re-birth.
”
”
Allan Rufus (The Master's Sacred Knowledge)
“
Life has a tendency to provide a person with what they need in order to grow. Our beliefs, what we value in life, provide the roadmap for the type of life that we experience. A period of personal unhappiness reveals that our values are misplaced and we are on the wrong path. Unless a person changes their values and ideas, they will continue to experience discontentment.
”
”
Kilroy J. Oldster (Dead Toad Scrolls)
“
For me, and for many of us, our first waking thought of the day is “I didn’t get enough sleep.” The next one is “I don’t have enough time.” Whether true or not, that thought of not enough occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it. We spend most of the hours and the days of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don’t have enough of. ...Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we’re already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something. And by the time we go to bed at night, our minds are racing with a litany of what we didn’t get, or didn’t get done, that day. We go to sleep burdened by those thoughts and wake up to that reverie of lack. ...This internal condition of scarcity, this mind-set of scarcity, lives at the very heart of our jealousies, our greed, our prejudice, and our arguments with life.
”
”
Brené Brown (Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead)
“
I saw a meme the other day with a picture of Marilyn Manson and Robin Williams. It said about the former, this isn’t the face of depression, and about the latter, this is. This really struck a chord and it’s been on my mind since then. As someone who has continuously dipped in and out of chronic depression and anxiety for close to three decades now, and I’ve never previously spoken about the subject, I finally thought it was time I did.
These days it’s trendy for people to think they’re cool and understanding about mental illness, posting memes and such to indicate so. But the reality is far different to that. It seems most people think if they publicly display such understanding then perhaps a friend will come to them, open up, and calmly discuss their problems. This will not happen. For someone in that seemingly hopeless void of depression and anxiety the last thing they are likely to do is acknowledge it, let alone talk about it. Even if broached by a friend they will probably deny there is a problem and feel even more distanced from the rest of the world.
So nobody can do anything to help, right? No. If right now you suspect one of your friends is suffering like this then you’re probably right. If right now you think that none of your friends are suffering like this then you’re probably wrong. By all means make your public affirmations of understanding, but at least take on board that an attempt to connect on this subject by someone you care about could well be cryptic and indirect.
When we hear of celebrities who suffered and finally took their own lives the message tends to be that so many close friends had no idea. This is woeful, but it’s also great, right? Because by not knowing there was a problem there is no burden of responsibility on anyone else. This is another huge misconception, that by acknowledging an indirect attempt to connect on such a complex issue that somehow you are accepting responsibility to fix it. This is not the case. You don’t have to find a solution. Maybe just listen. Many times over the years I’ve seen people recoil when they suspect that perhaps that is the direct a conversation is about to turn, and they desperately scramble for anything that can immediately change the subject. By acknowledging you’ve heard and understood doesn’t mean you are picking up their burden and carrying it for them.
Anyway, I’ve said my piece. And please don’t think this is me reaching out for help. If this was my current mindset the last thing I’d ever do is write something like this, let alone share it.
”
”
R.D. Ronald
“
You get that one chance; and damn it, you’ve got to take it! If there’s one lesson I know I will take with me for eternity, its that there are those things that might happen only once, those chances that come walking down the street, strolling out of a café; if you don’t let go and take them, they really could get away! We can get so washed out with a mindset of entitlement– the universe will do everything for us to ensure our happiness– that we forget why we came here! We came here to grab, to take, to give, to have! Not to wait! Nobody came here to wait! So, what makes anyone think that destiny will keep on knocking over and over again? It could, but what if it doesn’t? You go and you take the chance that you get; even if it makes you look stupid, insane, or whorish! Because it just might not come back again. You could wait a lifetime to see if it will...but I don’t think you should.
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C. JoyBell C.
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For me, and for many of us, our first waking thought of the day is "I didnt get enough sleep." The next one is "I don't have enough time." Whether true or not, that thought of not enough occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it. We spend most of the hours and the days of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don't have enough of... Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we're already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something. And by the time we go to bed at night, our minds are racing with a litany of what we didn't get, or didn't get done, that day. We go to sleep burdened by those thoughts and wake up to that reverie of lack... This internal condition of scarcity, this mind-set of scarcity, lives at the very heart of our jealousies, our greed, our prejudice, and our arguments with life
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Lynne Twist (The Soul of Money: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Life)
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If you believe that hard work pays off, then you work hard; if you think it’s hard to get ahead even when you try, then why try at all? Similarly, when people do fail, this mind-set allows them to look outward. I once ran into an old acquaintance at a Middletown bar who told me that he had recently quit his job because he was sick of waking up early. I later saw him complaining on Facebook about the “Obama economy” and how it had affected his life. I don’t doubt that the Obama economy has affected many, but this man is assuredly not among them. His status in life is directly attributable to the choices he’s made, and his life will improve only through better decisions. But for him to make better choices, he needs to live in an environment that forces him to ask tough questions about himself. There is a cultural movement in the white working class to blame problems on society or the government, and that movement gains adherents by the day.
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J.D. Vance (Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis)
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Parents think they can hand children permanent confidence—like a gift—by praising their brains and talent. It doesn’t work, and in fact has the opposite effect. It makes children doubt themselves as soon as anything is hard or anything goes wrong. If parents want to give their children a gift, the best thing they can do is to teach their children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and keep on learning. That way, their children don’t have to be slaves of praise. They will have a lifelong way to build and repair their own confidence.
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Carol S. Dweck (Mindset: How You Can Fulfil Your Potential)
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Know that...there's plenty of food and of course popcorn on the dining-room table. Just...help yourself. If that runs out just let me know. Don't panic. And there's coffee, both caff and decaf, and soft drinks and juice in the kitchen, and plenty of ice in the freezer so...let me know if you have any questions with that.' And lastly, since I have you all here in one place, I have something to share with you. Along the garden ways just now...I too heard the flowers speak. They told me that our family garden has all but turned to sand. I want you to know I've watered and nurtured this square of earth for nearly twenty years, and waited on my knees each spring for these gentle bulbs to rise, reborn. But want does not bring such breath to life. Only love does. The plain, old-fashioned kind. In our family garden my husband is of the genus Narcissus , which includes daffodils and jonquils and a host of other ornamental flowers. There is, in such a genus of man, a pervasive and well-known pattern of grandiosity and egocentrism that feeds off this very kind of evening, this type of glitzy generosity. People of this ilk are very exciting to be around. I have never met anyone with as many friends as my husband. He made two last night at Carvel. I'm not kidding. Where are you two? Hi. Hi, again. Welcome. My husband is a good man, isn't he? He is. But in keeping with his genus, he is also absurdly preoccupied with his own importance, and in staying loyal to this, he can be boastful and unkind and condescending and has an insatiable hunger to be seen as infallible. Underlying all of the constant campaigning needed to uphold this position is a profound vulnerability that lies at the very core of his psyche. Such is the narcissist who must mask his fears of inadequacy by ensuring that he is perceived to be a unique and brilliant stone. In his offspring he finds the grave limits he cannot admit in himself. And he will stop at nothing to make certain that his child continually tries to correct these flaws. In actuality, the child may be exceedingly intelligent, but has so fully developed feelings of ineptitude that he is incapable of believing in his own possibilities. The child's innate sense of self is in great jeopardy when this level of false labeling is accepted. In the end the narcissist must compensate for this core vulnerability he carries and as a result an overestimation of his own importance arises. So it feeds itself, cyclically. And, when in the course of life they realize that their views are not shared or thier expectations are not met, the most common reaction is to become enraged. The rage covers the fear associated with the vulnerable self, but it is nearly impossible for others to see this, and as a result, the very recognition they so crave is most often out of reach. It's been eighteen years that I've lived in service to this mindset. And it's been devastating for me to realize that my efforts to rise to these standards and demands and preposterous requests for perfection have ultimately done nothing but disappoint my husband. Put a person like this with four developing children and you're gonna need more than love poems and ice sculpture to stay afloat. Trust me. So. So, we're done here.
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Joshua Braff (The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green)