Microscope Funny Quotes

Oh diary, I love her, I love her, I love her so much. Jordana is the most amazing person I have ever met. I could eat her. I could drink her blood. She's the only person I would allow to be shrunk to microscopic size and explore me in a tiny submersible machine. She is wonderful and beautiful and sensitive and funny and sexy. She's too good for me, she's too good for anyone! All I could do was let her know. I said: "I love you more than words. And I am a big fan of words.

What is unfair is, not life, but our demanding—as microscopic a part of life and as unnecessary to life as we are—that life happen as per our desires, which are always selfish … and almost always petty.

Dear Mommy I’m doing really good, I get all A’s in school And I don’t cry at bedtime anymore, Though my new mom said I could. I remember how much you hate tears, You slapped them out of me To make me strong, I think it worked. I learned to use a microscope And my hair grew two inches. It’s pretty, just like yours. I’m not allowed to clean the house, Only my own room, Isn’t that a funny rule? You say kids are so much trouble Getting born, they better pay it back. I’m not supposed to take care Of the other kids, only me, I sort of like it. I still get the hole in my stomach When I do something wrong, I have a saying on my mirror “Kids make mistakes, It’s OK,” I read it every day, Sometimes I even believe it. I wonder if you ever think of me Or if you’re glad the troublemaker’s gone, I never want to see you again. I love you, Mommy.

Now as you plumb out into the universe and explore it astronomically, it gets very strange. You begin to see things in the depths that at first sight seem utterly remote. How could they have anything to do with us. They are so far off and so unlikely. And in the same way, when you start probing into the inner workings of the human body you come across all kinds of funny little monsters and wiggly things that bear no resemblance to what we recognize as the human image. Look at a spermatozoon under a microscope. That little tadpole! And how can that have any connection with a grown human being. It’s so unlike, you see. It’s foreign feeling. And you get the creeps, a foreign feeling, about yourself...But what we will always find out in the end when we meet the very strange thing, there will one day be the dawning recognition: Why that’s me.

There exists a microscopic breed of brain beetle, commonly known as an ‘idea’. An idea desires only one thing: To catch the perfect brain wave.

It's a funny thing, dreaming. It ebbs when we flow, knowing the precise moment we are about to wake, unleashing dramatic vignettes in rapid succession so when we snap awake it's not in comfort but desperation to catch what is so transient, hoping to capture just one of those moments so we might do as humans do: break it up, stuff it under a microscope and dissect it until what remains is an approximation of the whole - a dismantled sum that has lost all depth, mystery, or romance.

The idea of putting raisins in cookies originated with my microscope. 'Chocolate chips? Nope! I'm using dehydrated grapes instead.

My microscope got a waitress fired because she referred to a tomato as a vegetable. 'It's a fruit! Learn your taxonomy, bitch!

Yeah, that’s real funny Wade,” Scarlett shouted. “You know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna go find a nice tiny jar that I can store your little baby balls in. And when I find it, you better hide because I’m coming for you and your microscopic balls.