“
Come here, cat. You wouldn’t want to destroy the space-time continuum, would you? Meow. Meow.
”
”
Connie Willis (To Say Nothing of the Dog (Oxford Time Travel, #2))
“
I had a dream about you last night... you kept meowing at people and licking yourself it was not unlike you normally.
”
”
Nicole Riekhof (I Had a Dream About You)
“
You should make her call you ‘Miss Georgina,’” added Hugh with a mocking southern drawl. “Or at least ‘ma’am.’”
Niphon’s presence and Jerome’s lecture had put me in a grouchy mood. “I’m not doing any mentoring. She’s so gungho to take on the world’s male population, she doesn’t even need me.”
The three men exchanged more smirks. Cody made some hissing and meowing sounds, scratching at the air.
"This isn’t funny,” I said.
"Sure it is,” said Cody.
”
”
Richelle Mead (Succubus Dreams (Georgina Kincaid, #3))
“
Today 5:14 p.m.
"Mrrrrrowl. Mrrrrrowl."
"Ow! Ow, stupid cat! Ahem. You told me, 'stop calling, Isabelle,' but I'm not the one calling you. Church is calling you. Mine are merely the fingers that work the phone.
"See, here's something you may not have known before you committed your recent rash acts. Our cat, Church, and your cat, Chairman Meow? They're in love. I've never seen such love before. I never knew such love could exist in the heart of a... cat. Some people say that love between two dude cats is wrong, but I think it's beautiful. Love makes Church happier than I've ever seen him. Nothing makes him happy like Chairman Meow. Not tuna. Not shredding centuries-old tapestries. Nothing. Please don't keep these cats apart. Please don't take the joy of love away from Church.
"Look, this is really just a warning for your own good. If you keep Church and Chairman Meow apart, Church will start to get angry.
"You wouldn't like Church when he's angry."
Beep
”
”
Cassandra Clare (The Bane Chronicles)
“
Ah, the farmer, he kicks the first sack, ‘Meow,’ and so on. He kicks the second sack, and the boy inside says, ‘Woof!’ Pretending to be—” Kolya pointed at me to finish the sentence. “A cow.” “A dog. When he kicks the third sack, the boy inside says, ‘Potatoes!’ ” We walked in silence. “Well,” said Kolya at last, “other people think it’s funny.” On
”
”
David Benioff (City of Thieves)
“
While Brambleclaw paused to taste the air, she crouched down beside one of the puddles and touched the ice with her tongue, grateful for the tingling freshness. “Come on,” the Clan deputy meowed. “This way.” Hollyleaf tried to jump up, only to stop with a strangled cry of dismay. Her tongue had frozen to the ice; a sharp pain shot through it as she tried to wrench herself free. “What’s the matter?” Lionblaze asked. “My tongue . . .” Hollyleaf could hardly get the words out. “It’th thtuck!” Lionblaze snorted as he suppressed a mrrow of laughter. Birchfall stooped down until he was nose to nose with Hollyleaf; irritation swelled inside her when she saw amusement dancing in his eyes. “It’th not funny!” she mumbled as clearly as she could with her tongue plastered to the ice. “Stand back.” Brackenfur’s calm voice came from behind Hollyleaf. “Let me have a look.” He leaned beside Birchfall, gently shouldering the younger cat out of the way. “Well, you’re certainly stuck,” he went on. Hollyleaf could tell that he was struggling not to laugh, too. “I suppose we could break off the ice. Then you’d have to carry it until it melts.” “Hey, you’ve discovered a new way to fetch water for the elders!” Hazeltail put in. Her pelt itching with frustration, Hollyleaf tried again to wrench her tongue free, only getting another stab of pain for her efforts. “It hurt-th! Do thomething!” She pictured herself crouched on the hard ground with her tongue stretched out, and suddenly she felt laughter bubbling up inside her. I guess I do look pretty funny. She couldn’t remember the last time she had found anything to laugh at.
”
”
Erin Hunter (Sunrise (Warriors: Power of Three #6))
“
11 Funny Things to Do on an Elevator Say “DING” on every floor. Walk in with a small cooler and let everyone know there is a human heart in it. Make meow sounds like a kitten. Every time someone pushes a button make a small explosion noise. Every few seconds open your briefcase or purse just a crack, peer in and say “Do you have enough air in there?” Stand facing into a corner with your back to everyone and at every stop clap your hands and say yippee! Act real surprised, as if you passed gas and announce to everyone “Excuse me!” Slap your face and say, “Hush! All of you, be quiet!” Put a puppet on one hand and talk to other passengers with it. With your finger, draw an imaginary square on the floor, step in it and tell everyone this is your private space. Keep muttering to yourself, “it’s okay…. you can do this.…it’s okay.…we’re almost there….
”
”
Peter Jenkins (Funny Jokes for Adults: All Clean Jokes, Funny Jokes that are Perfect to Share with Family and Friends, Great for Any Occasion)
“
Enigma!" I call, adding a "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!" because obviously it's the universal language for feline summoning. And maybe it is -- no sooner do I croon that magic phrase than I hear an answering meow.
”
”
Kelley Armstrong (A Stitch in Time (A Stitch in Time, #1))
“
You’re a funny kitty.”
“Meow.
”
”
Briggs (The Acid Actor: Volume 1)
“
o
m
e
b
u d i t
r t t s yg
.
e t
”
”
Nevaeh Ricardo (Meow Butts: A funny book about cat books for kids, by a 10 yr old Author (Funny Animal Butt Books))
“
Funny thing about cats,” she said, slowing way down to look but still walking. “Scientists say they don’t meow to each other, to dogs, to mice, to nobody but us. So it’s talking only to you!” “Well, it hasn’t really officially ‘meowed’ yet? Not sure what it’s doing, to tell you the truth. It’s been pretty patient, all things considered,” I said, then I frowned. “So are you saying if you wake a cat up during a nightmare, you might get to hear its real voice before it switches back to meows?
”
”
David James Keaton (She Was Found in a Guitar Case)
“
Q: How do cats greet each other at Christmas? A: A furry merry Christmas and happy meow year!
”
”
Arnie Lightning (Christmas Jokes: Funny Jokes Christmas for Kids)