Mega Funny Quotes

You could ask me to teach you.” “Huh?” This night is getting weird in a hurry. “Teach me like you’re teaching a class or something? What are you going to call it: ‘You Too Can Be a Sociopath 101’?” “It would be more like a graduate-level class.” I start to snicker. His sense of humour sneaks up on you. Then I remember who’s talking and bite it off.

Is that all you bought?” His eyes shot to the left. “Um.” I clenched my teeth. “What else?” “A Super Mega Juicer,” he said quickly. “But, Sabina, seriously that juicer is a miracle machine.” “I’m a vampire, Giguhl. The only liquids I drink are blood and alcohol. I don’t do juice.

He gives me a look that says, “Dude, if I knew that do you think I’d have enlisted your puny help?” I snicker. “Something funny here.” “You. All prickly and pissed ’cause there’s something you don’t know. Got to call on the megaservices of the Mega.” “Ever occur to you I’m using you for reasons your inferior human brain can’t begin to understand.

Our Dome is the bottom of the barrel in the Mega City," Asterion said. "The Deep, it's beneath the bottom. Patrols don't even come down yonder no more. This here is where the forgotten live." "That's pretty deep from a guy that talks as funny as you do." I said quietly. "It's not polite to make fun of a man's drawl," he said. I nodded. "You've told me that before too," I said. I still got no idea what 'drawl' even means and have never heard anyone else say it. I'm thinking you made it up." Asterion shook his head. "Y'all never heard of Texas either," he said. "Goes to show what you know." I grinned. "That sounds made up too." He shook his head in disgust. "Don't make no different anyhow," he said, as much to himself as to me. "They say half of it is underwater now anyway.

Again, this week as I walked on Broadway, in front of giant photographs of voluptuous supermodels at a Victoria Secret mega-store, who was rebuilding the sidewalks? With sweaty headbands, ripped-up jeans, and dust on their brown faces? Their muscled hands quivered as they worked the jack-hammers and lugged the concrete chunks into dump trucks. Two men from Guanajuato. Undocumented workers. They both shook my hand vigorously, as if they were relieved I wasn’t an INS officer. I imagined how much money Victoria Secret was making off these poor bastards. I wondered why passersby didn’t see what was in front of their faces. We use these workers. We profit from them. In the shadows, they work to the bone, for pennies. And it’s so easy to blame them for everything and nothing simply because they are powerless, and dark-skinned,and speak with funny accents. Illegal is illegal. It is a phrase, shallow and cruel, that should prompt any decent American to burn with anger.

While tips are not expected, they are appreciated,” Max said. “Where to, sir?” “Why can’t you take anything seriously?” Carlos snapped. “You kill people for a living!” “You just answered your own question,” Max said, his tone turning cold. “When you have the amount of blood on your hands that I do, see how far you’ll go just to fight back the darkness.” “Oh...right,” Carlos replied quietly. “Plus the chicks dig the funny ones,” Max chuckled. “They like it when you tickle their funny bones.

A good ad agency should know to never, ever mess with puppies. Yet somehow, Godaddy.com made the unspeakable blunder of creating a commercial where the puppy is not just unloved but also somewhat mistreated. The ad starts by pulling at the heartstrings, showing the puppy getting thrown from the back of a pick-up truck. The puppy then braves distance, weather, and terrain to get back to his owner, who is excited to see “Buddy” - but only because she had already sold him online with the help of a Godaddy website. The ad closes with this hag of a woman sending Buddy away and shouting, “Ship him out!” While our feelings for our fellow human beings can sometimes be mixed, our adoration for puppies is universal. If there’s one rule in marketing, it is this - thou shalt not mess with the puppies! Godaddy.com received a gargantuan amount of backlash and millions of inquiries regarding the well-being of Buddy the puppy. Can you believe this ad was supposed to run in the Superbowl?

Before anything else, we have to say that President Jimmy Carter was a stand-up guy who had the misfortune of having a less than qualified interpreter with him. When Carter, on a visit to Poland, made a speech saying he wanted to know their people’s “desires for the future,” his interpreter wrongly said that President Carter desired Poland sexually.

        Bees die when they sting you. A bee’s stinger can get stuck in a person’s skin and the bee has to rip itself apart to escape.               If the bee is careful, or doesn’t sting you at a funny angle, it will be fine.               So when people say, “You got stung, but at least the bee is dead,” just remember that those people are liars.