Matthew Hussey Quotes

Remember, the pain of rejection is nothing compared to the pain of regret.

Having integrity is about knowing what your own standards are and being completely comfortable with them.

We are what we repeatedly do.

women who live passionate lives are inherently sexy.

Certainty turns out to be one of the sexiest qualities you can possess.

every interaction with another human being is a possible gateway to some new world or experience, which could, in turn, introduce you to the love of your life.

Is it ok to sometimes be shy?Yes, of course. The point is,that being that way all the time and using it as an excuse to never be the opposite of shy,it's not good. It's not good for your life, your interactions,strenght of character and how diverse and interesting you can be. You are MORE than shy. Don't be labeled, be what you wanna be in any given moment. And DO what WORKS, not what you think you are.

A guy should receive the amount of time and attention he earns.

Believe in your own value, and every good thing in life will follow.

Being a great conversationalist is about two things: creating intrigue and interest, and creating emotional connection.

I can’t say this enough: A guy must be evaluated based only on what he does for you.

Ordinary things done consistently produce extraordinary results.

The right relationship is one where things get better when you communicate. If your relationship gets worse when one of you speaks the truth, you’re in the wrong relationship.

Every interaction with another human being is a possible gateway to some new world or experience,

All that is good in your life needs continuous nurturing: your body, your profession, your friendships, your familial connections, and yes, your love life.

Uncertain people are followers, looking to others for approval. Frightened to say what they feel in case others don’t feel the same, they adapt to fit in with everyone else.

Being sociable is both a learned behaviour and an attitude.

A woman of integrity doesn’t compromise what she believes in simply in order to seek approval from others, nor does she let bad behavior slide in order to try to fit in.

Once you just get curious about people and places, you lose all that anxiety about approaching people. You lose that ridiculous idea that every interaction has two possible outcomes: approval or rejection.

Attention is not intention.

The fantasy of what someone might be like when we talk to them online is meaningless unless we actually progress to the point of meeting them.

Don’t invest in someone based on how much you like them, invest in someone based on how much they invest in you.

In love, we don’t need everyone to want us. We only need one person.

The love of your life can only ever be the person who chooses you for their life. It can never be the person who doesn’t choose you.

Often, when people advise, ‘Just be yourself,’ it’s a way of saying, ‘Don’t grow and change.’ What’s more, friends offer this advice when just being yourself has left you miserable and lonely. What they are really telling you is to stick with what you know, to stay with what is comfortable. And what I am telling you is that the new and improved you is you. You are not changing who you are, you are becoming who you are.

But there’s another way to look at it. Consider this: the pain doesn’t come from losing your soul mate, but from the disappointment that this guy wasn’t your soul mate. It’s sad, but it’s not catastrophic. And if you look at it this way—that in some regard, he failed to live up to your values and standards, so how could he have been your soul mate?—the pain is likely to be less severe. I don’t mean to minimize the amount it hurts. I’ve been there, believe me. But by grieving only for your disappointment and dashed expectations, you allow yourself to remain open to the next guy who comes along. It’s a much more manageable type of pain. We can now say more easily, “Although I’m hurt right now, this person wasn’t right for me. Now I can allow myself to find the right person.” This might sound like a small difference, but just allowing ourselves to take on this more correct understanding of what has happened can free us to move forward.

What matters most at the moment of heartbreak is the meaning we ascribe to our pain. We may feel devastated because we believe we’ve just lost our soul mate. And that’s often what we do feel in that moment. When we are deep in heartbreak we feel like we have lost the only person in the world for whom we are capable of feeling this level of emotion. We can’t imagine ever loving anyone else. If we invest in this belief, not only will it increase our suffering, it will also make it more difficult for anyone else to come into our life, because we feel like we’ve already lost The One. Nothing else seems to matter. We lose our drive, our ambition, and our ability to take even baby steps forward.

Learning and practicing the art of creating rather than waiting; throwing the net wide in order to meet a lot of people, men and women alike, who will enrich your life; operating from a mindset of abundance, not scarcity; developing and adhering to the attributes of a woman of high value; upholding your own standards; understanding that you are in control of your own choices—these skills strengthen your sense of self-worth and will improve all areas of your life. It’s the project of a lifetime.

The difference is the tourist mindset. Tourists walk around inquisitively. They ask directions, they talk to locals when they meet them, they ask random people about the area, and often they get chatty when they go out because they want to meet people. Because of this everyone in the city seems friendly and responds to them by being warm and open. Tourists, unlike most locals, treat the city as a playground where they can meet anybody

The best life is one in which we’re excited to wake up in the morning. When we have that, we ‘win’ no matter what happens in our love lives. With or without a person to share it with, we have a passionate, fun, exciting and emotionally fulfilling existence. Whatever happens, we become extraordinary, and the truth becomes clear: we don’t enter relationships hoping to create an amazing existence, we come to them to share one with someone else.

The right relationship is one where things get better when you communicate. If your relationship gets worse when one of you speaks the truth, you’re in the wrong relationship.

Even a woman who’s shy in public still sings in the car when she hears her favorite song. She has a side to her that others rarely see, a side that is silly, playful, and spontaneous. Likewise, there are strong, certain women who go nuts for expensive French lingerie, and playful, spontaneous women who’ve disciplined themselves to meditate for thirty minutes every morning for their entire adult life. Do all of their friends know this about them? Not likely.

There will come a day, perhaps not far in the future, when you will look at pictures of yourself at the age you are now, and you’ll be shocked at how young and beautiful you were. Perhaps you will be amazed that you spent any time at all focusing on your perceived flaws and failings instead of pursuing the things you wanted. You will see a person who had all of her life ahead of her, a woman with so many possibilities, so many opportunities and choices. Take advantage of them now.

If I could, I would tattoo this on your palm: Every interaction with another human being is a possible gateway to some new world or experience, which could, in turn, introduce you to the love of your life.

That’s because genuine attraction is a complicated spectrum of the way we move, talk and gesture; of the beliefs we hold and the conviction with which we communicate them; the way our muscles move in our face when we smile; the subtle differences between a look of shyness and a look of playfulness; of our reactions to situations and the way we deal with life.

Most of us have been living life waiting for other people to educate us on what our worth is. But it’s time to start living by a different truth: While there will occasionally be special people in life who uniquely see our worth, it is actually our job to educate others on what our worth is, not the other way around.

She’s adventurous, but knows how to relax; outgoing, but knows how to be cozy and intimate; sexual, but knows how to be sweet.

Your message to him: I am a complete person without you, but I desire to have you be a part of my life because you are worthy of it.

It’s OK to be disappointed that someone didn’t turn out to be the one. But don’t grieve as if they were the one. If they didn’t choose you, they’re not.

it requires two people who actually have a vision for where they want the relationship to go, and the daily execution to move toward that vision. Exceptional relationships are not found. They’re built.

I wince at the lack of compassion I showed myself, and at just how dangerous my determination and tolerance for pain can be when directed at the wrong target—in this case, martyrdom in a relationship where most of my core needs weren’t being met.

The days of me getting excited about someone who’s not excited about me are over. I can’t find the energy to get excited about someone who doesn’t want me. If someone doesn’t want me, it kills it for me, because I know this person will make me so unhappy.

By the way, when a woman does move slower, the guy’s inclination will be to move faster. He’ll wonder why she’s just going with the flow and not pushing him toward commitment. The perceived challenge increases as he wonders what he needs to do to make her want only him. Her perceived value increases as he sees that she’s more discerning than to just rush into commitment with someone who hasn’t really gone out of his way for her yet. He now begins to work for her. As we know, everyone values what they work for, and this valuing continues once they get what they want.

Many women worry that there's too much competition out there. If you find yourself falling into this trap I want to remind you of something: most women aren't doing anything to find the guy, so they're not competing with you. They are either hanging out at home on their Facebook page or out with their friends talking about how there are no guys out there.

Seek values, not facts What we really want to know about someone in our first conversations is what kind of person he or she is. You want to know if he shares your values, whether he's ambitious, kind, intellectual, and curious. You aren't going to find out these things by knowing that he works in investment banking, lives downtown , and likes to go to the movies.

If you’re older, you can play two cards: you bring a level of maturity and knowledge of the world and life (and sex, by the way) that a guy might not be able to get with a younger woman, and you also demonstrate youthful qualities like a desire for fun and adventure. This is a powerful and sexy combination of traits. Men aren’t attracted to young women, they are attracted to youth-fulness. Youth is something we do, not something we are.

If you have those teammate traits—if you’re the one who’s trustworthy, kind, committed, communicative, consistent, generous—then you’ve got the rare stuff that’s worth fighting for. It’s also the rare stuff you should protect. And if someone doesn’t recognize those qualities in you, they’ll never value what’s valuable in you. You should keep them at arm’s length until they do. In the meantime, they’re definitely not a person worth fighting for.

Most lottery winners (even those who win millions) find a way to go broke again. And when they do go broke, they don't know how to make that money again because when it happened the first time it was by pure chance. They have no formula they can replicate. Those who are successful in business, on the other hand, know that going broke isn't the end of the world. They have the skills to get back into the game and create something from nothing, and know that waiting will get them nowhere. Likewise, those who know how to go out and find a relationship don't panic when they're single.

If you consider yourself to be an introvert, I’m about to give you three words That are going to change the way you think of attraction forever. Peak-End Rule The Peak-End Rule: The psychological heuristic in which people judge an experience largely based on how they felt at it’s peak and at it’s end, rather than based on the total sum or average. To understand this rule … you need only think of a Broadway show, a movie, or a concert, and how there are moments in these shows that can actually be quite boring. There are moments in a concert where there are 5 songs in a row that you don’t care about. But if the concert, if the movie, if that Broadway show, ends with a bang, or has a really emotional peak moment somewhere within it … that tends to be the part that we remember. It colors our entire experience of the thing. If you are an introvert the psychology of this is gold to you.

but there’s no poetry in a relationship until the two of you start working together on something that will stand the test of time. Don’t overvalue the poet when there’s no actual poetry.

In this way, curiosity helps you step out of fear, and by doing so you rob the thing you’re afraid of of the power it has over you.

But you lose nothing by communicating. The right relationship is one where things get better when you communicate. If your relationship gets worse when one of you speaks the truth, you’re in the wrong relationship.

If confronted, a guy might slip into vague mumbo-jumbo, but when he’s being up-front he’s likely to say one of the following: She was just nice (there was no edge, no challenge) She was boring She was too aggressive She’s a gold digger She was too superficial She came across as too desperate She was trying too hard to impress She was too negative She’s a drama queen and would be a nightmare over the long term There wasn’t any chemistry

A woman who knows who she is, strong and independent, understands how essential it is to show that she needs her guy in other ways.

Even when the results are just barely different—the difference between a 7 and a 5 on the pain scale—that still represents the wedge you can use to reshape your life.