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How much is caregiver part of your identity? In what ways might you be keeping others down in order to stay up?” Caroline, the intuitive therapist, wasn’t letting me off the hook. “Do you need to remain the parent, even in adult relationships?” I was quiet—I had to sit with that, chew on it, metabolize it—but she filled the silence. “Think about what caregiving requires—people who need you. Even if you’re not trying to dominate, caregiving is a kind of dominance. Have you surrounded yourself with people who are more submissive? Needier?
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