Ll Lol Quotes

Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they'll start using it.

Coach," Annabeth said, "it was an accident. We were talking, and we fell asleep." "Besides," Percy said, "you're starting to sound like Terminus." Hedge narrowed his eyes. "Is that an insult, Jackson? 'Cause I'll-I'll Terminus you, buddy!

What r u doing now? I'm beating my dad at poker. Picturing him with his family, I smiled. Getting ready for bed. Wish I was there. My eyes widened. What the what? Wait r u naked? No!!! I sent back. Perv. Damn, At least I have my imagination. That's all you will ever have. We'll c. No you won't.

If Cameron kidnaps you, kills you, then buries your lifeless body in a shallow grave in the desert where your remains lay decomposing for several decades until they're accidentally discovered by some guy on a journey to awaken his spirit at the Salinas Pueblo Missions, can I have your iMac?" I gaped at her. "You've really thought this out. "I love your iMac." "I love my iMac too, and you're not getting her." "But you'll be decomposing.

Shigure Sohma: So anyway I was wondering if you could stop by the house and take a look at Tohru's cut. That is if it isn't a problem. Hatori Sohma: No problem. I'll stop by the house this evening. Shigure Sohma: Hmmm What's this Hatori I don't think I ever heard you sound so eager to come over. Could it be you have a secret crush on Tohru [long silence from the other end of the phone] Shigure Sohma: [shouts] I knew it You naughty naughty man you Hatori Sohma: No I was simply too amazed by your stupidity to say anything.

When they figure out how to bottle up orgasms and sell them as a food additive, I'll be first in line.

(Some girl) "You said we'd have breakfast!" (Jasper) "If i live, i'll buy you waffles." "You don't have enough money to buy her waffles," Wylan grumbled. "Be quite. We're in a library.

How about I take you to my studio? Much less dangerous. Plus, I need a model and you could sit for me." "You want me to sit for a portrait?" I asked stunned. "Actually, at the moment I'm concentrating on full-length nudes, in the spirit of Modigliani," Jules said. He was making an effort to keep a straight face. "Just kidding, Kates. You're a lady." Jules was trying the guilt-trip method of attack. And it was working. "Ok I'll pose for you," I conceded. "But under no circumstances will any article of clothing leave my body whilst I am in your studio." "And if you're elsewhere?" he asked, breaking into a sly smile. I rolled my eyes.

Kyo Sohma: One of these days I'll make you say you're sorry Yuki Sohma: looking bored I'm sorry. Kyo Sohma: Dammit That's not what I meant Don't you have any shame Yuki Sohma: still looking annoyed Yes I'm ashamed to be seen with you shouting in public. Kyo Sohma: Oh that's it We're taking this outside Yuki Sohma: still looking annoyed We ARE outside you stupid cat.

Helen if you continue to fondle the bastard right in front of me, I'll have to dislocate his other shoulder.

I'll take my clothes off - whatever the job requires.

You be America, alien invaders, and we'll be Vietnam. And the Others go, yeah, okay, right.

Everyone gets tortured these days. Skulduggery by Serpine, who then turned around and did that red right hand thing at you. Then Skulduggery was tortured again by the Faceless Ones. I figured it was my turn, you know? You're not part of the team if you haven't been tortured- that's what I always say. Well, I'll be saying that from now on anyway.

If you really want to do something, you will find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse.

Jane Sinner: I think I can save us some time here. I’ll tell you my only motivation in life. The Doctor: And what motivation is that? Jane Sinner: The lols. It’s the only reason I ever do anything.

What the fuck are you laughing at, Godfrey?” Johnson moved away from Day. “You, daddy’s boy.” “Fuck you. I know Day is just showing off for you.” Johnson turned back to look at Day. “I’ll be sure to catch you when you’re alone.” “I’ll be sure to have my rape whistle,” Day retorted.

She snorts. "Yeah, I'll tape my boobs down and wear my Burger King Crown. That'll fool'em. They see five-foot-seven-inch-tall, hippy eleven-year-olds all the time." She sneers at me. "You on the other hand..." "Did you just call me short?" "And, apparently, boobless." "Sawyer doesn't think so.

The urge to let go of the wheel and just see what happens is compelling. If I live, I’ll wake to find myself in hospital. I won’t have to do anything, deal with anybody, talk, be scared anymore, because I will have become somebody else’s responsibility. And if I die, well then everything’s solved. No more being angry like this.

I'm an open book,' I say, thinking of all the men who have found it illegible. I made mistakes with these men. I dove for their legs as they tried to leave my house. I chased them down the hall with a bottle of Listerine, saying, I can be a beach read, I can get rid of all these clauses, please, I'll just revise. I'M LOL'ING

When we come in, Trey is sitting up in the bed, him arm is a sling and a shadow of stubble on his face. "It's about time," he says. He's got the look of a stoner on his face, and I he's got a morphine drip going. Guess mom and Dad don't think HE'LL get addicted. Eye roll.

I think you're turning into a tree," said Reven. "Forsooth, you see what the trees see. You'll be spouting leaves next.

1. Looks are only a reflection of how you want other people to see you. It’s better to be fucked up on the outside, than fucked up on the inside. Mascara and lip gloss can’t cure a broken heart, and they damn sure don’t do shit for depression. 2. Fuck sponsors. Make friends. Friends are the rare people in your life who’ll tell you when you’re fucking up. Even when you don’t want to hear it and think they’re just being mean or trying to put you down—they’re usually just trying to help and they have your best interests at heart. 3. The smartest person in the room will always be more valuable than the prettiest person in the room. (But you can always be both :-) LOL )

RubyMars: Have you heard anything else about when you’re leaving for good? AHall80: Not yet, but everything seems to be on schedule. Should be about 8 weeks. The longest 8 weeks of my life. RubyMars: I’m sure. AHall80: I want a shitty, greasy, deep dish pizza like you can’t imagine. I can already taste it. AHall80: A hot shower… a real bed… AC everywhere… RubyMars: Clean clothes? AHall80: Clean clothes. Clean socks. No sand. RubyMars: Clean underwear. RubyMars: No sand? I thought you were planning on going to the beach? AHall80: The beach is different. There’s water. It isn’t just desert and more desert. RubyMars: I guess that makes sense. RubyMars: My brother said once that his goal is to never see sand in his life again. AHall80: For real. RubyMars: What I didn’t finish saying was that he said that, but he’s gone to Cancun twice with his boyfriend, LOL. AHall80: It’s different. I’m over this sand shit. AHall80: Never again RubyMars: Does that mean you’re dead set on not re-enlisting? AHall80: … RubyMars: Whatever you want. I’m not judging. We don’t have to talk about it. AHall80: It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it… RubyMars: But you don’t want to talk about it. AHall80: :] Basically. RubyMars: I’ll change the subject then. RubyMars: Have you gone #2 lately? AHall80: Three days ago. RubyMars: Are you joking? AHall80: I wish. RubyMars: AARON AHall80: I know. I KNOW. RubyMars: Does it hurt? AHall80: Uh, when it comes out? RubyMars: Omg RubyMars: Aaron RubyMars: I meant your stomach. RubyMars: Does your stomach hurt? RubyMars: I can’t breathe RubyMars: Or type RubyMars: I didn’t mean your… rectum. RubyMars: Aaron? RubyMars: Aaron? RubyMars: Are you there? RubyMars: AARON? AHall80: You’re not the only one who couldn’t breathe or type. RubyMars: LMAO I’m crying. AHall80: me too AHall80: me too RubyMars: I mean… you can tell me if your butt hurts too, I guess. AHall80: Ruby, stop RubyMars: Seriously. You can tell me. I won’t judge. RubyMars: It happens. RubyMars: I think. AHall80: Stop RubyMars: I can’t breathe AHall80: I don’t know when the last time I laughed so hard was. AHall80: Everyone is looking at me wondering wtf happened. RubyMars: Your rectum happened AHall80: BYE RubyMars: I can’t stop laughing AHall80: You’re never hearing from me again RubyMars: There are tears coming out of my eyes. AHall80: Bye. I’ll write you again when I find my balls. RubyMars: It was nice knowing you. AHall80: BYE

Kristen says, "I keep thinking if I go back to the beginning of the campaign and I say, 'You need to just release all of your emails right now,' it'll be fine. But then I think I should go back further, so i go back to when she's secretary of state and tell her, 'Oh, girl, a private server, no.' But then I remember, LOL, misogyny is the reason we're here, so I need to go back to whenever that didn't exist and I keep going back further and further until I'm all the way back before the Big Bang, and when I get there I whisper to the cloud of dust, 'It's not worth it.' And then I fade away like I'm Marty McFly's siblings.

According to the Bible, God killed 2,391,421 people and Satan only killed 10. Anyone else think we might be following the wrong guy?

I’ll supervise,” Vidrol said, folding his arms and sweeping his gaze across the small clearing outside the hut. “As sovereign, it’s my right to stand by while people do my bidding.” “How about you bid me to break your ass?” Vale muttered, stalking past him with a shake of his head. Vidrol sighed, passing a hand down his face dramatically. “Not even my own brother can resist me.

Why are breakfast food breakfast foods?" I asked them. "Like, why don't we have curry for breakfast?" "Hazel, eat." "But why?" I asked. "I mean seriously: How did scrambled eggs get stuck with breakfast exclusivity? You can put bacon on a sandwich without anyone freaking out. But the moment your sandwich has an egg, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich.” Dad answered with his mouth full. "When you come back, we'll have breakfast for dinner deal?" “I don't want to have breakfast for dinner." I answered, crossing knife and fork over my mostly full plate, "I want to have scrambled eggs for dinner without this ridiculous construction that a scrambled egg inclusive meal is breakfast even when it occurs at dinner time." “You gotta pick your battles in this world Hazel.” My mom said, “But if this is the issue you want to champion, we will stand behind you.” “Quite a bit behind you.” My dad added, and mom laughed. Anyway, I knew it was stupid, but I felt kind of bad for scrambled eggs.

We can put your friends in the tower,” Vidrol added, rubbing a finger along the sharp line of his jaw. “It’s only a matter of time before the Darkness tries capturing them and using them against you. If Calder fails to produce you, that’s exactly where they’ll turn next and the tower is the most secure part of the Keep.” “And me?” I asked, my lip twitching. “Where are you going to put me?” His eyes flashed dark green, his lids growing heavy. “On your back,” he said plainly. “On my bed. On my desk. Over my throne. You pick.

oBITCHuary: So… oBITCHuary: I went back and read through our chats. I totally admitted to you that I’m attracted to my shitty boss, didn’t I? McMonster: Yup. oBITCHuary: Enjoying the ego stroke? McMonster: I’d enjoy it more if you aim south. And, you know, use your tongue. oBITCHuary: I’m never going to be able to look you in the eye. McMonster: May I suggest other organs that will welcome your attention, then? oBITCHuary: I’m so terrified I’m going to yield to temptation. McMonster: Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll fuck it up before we get to it. oBITCHuary: WHY are you even interested? You could have any woman in the world. McMonster: And you’re that woman. Where’s the mystery? oBITCHuary: I’m completely normal. McMonster: Respectfully, Cal, you’re not. oBITCHuary: LOL. I meant average. McMonster: You’re not that either. oBITCHuary: What am I, then? McMonster: If I have a say about it? Mine.

Why are breakfast food breakfast foods?" I asked them. "Like, why don't we have curry for breakfast?" "Hazel, eat." "But why?" I asked. "I mean seriously: How did scrambled eggs get stuck with breakfast exclusivity? You can put bacon on a sandwich without anyone freaking out. But the moment your sandwich has an egg, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich." Dad answered with his mouth full. "When you come back, we'll have breakfast for dinner deal?" "I don't want to have breakfast for dinner." I answered, crossing knife and fork over my mostly full plate, "I want to have scrambled eggs for dinner without this ridiculous construction that a scrambled egg inclusive meal is breakfast even when it occurs at dinner time." “You gotta pick your battles in this world Hazel.” My mom said, “But if this is the issue you want to champion, we will stand behind you.” “Quite a bit behind you.” My dad added, and mom laughed. Anyway, I knew it was stupid but I felt kind of bad for scrambled eggs.

Whenever someone tells me they’re expecting their first baby and they’re nervous, I tell them the following: “Oh my goodness, that’s wonderful. I am so happy for you. Listen, of course you’re nervous but here’s the deal: you’re ready for all the bad stuff. You’ve been very tired before. You’ve been in pain before. You’ve been worried about money before. You’ve felt like an incapable moron before. So you’ll be fine with the difficult parts! You’re already a pro. What you’re NOT ready for is the wonderful parts. NOTHING can prepare you for how amazing this will be. There is no practice for that. There is no warm-up version. You are about to know joy that will blow your fucking mind apart. Happiness before this? HA HA. Mystery? LOL. Wonder? Fuck off! You are about to see something magical and new that you have no map for! None! This is it. Are you ready for that? Are you? No! No, you’re not! Also, please let me babysit when you’re finally ready to let someone else hold your beautiful little nugget! First time’s free, second time is eighteen bucks an hour.” This speech is particularly good for dads-to-be, since they’re usually more nervous than the moms-to-be.

That girl is me. Me and Peter, in the hot tub on the ski trip. Oh my God. I scream. Margot comes racing in, wearing one of those Korean beauty masks on her face with slits for eyes, nose, and mouth. “What? What?” I try to cover the computer screen with my hand, but she pushes it out of the way, and then she lets out a scream too. Her mask falls off. “Oh my God! Is that you?” Oh my God oh my God oh my God. “Don’t let Kitty see!” I shout. Kitty’s wide-eyed. “Lara Jean, I thought you were a goody-goody.” “I am!” I scream. Margot gulps. “That…that looks like…” “I know. Don’t say it.” “Don’t worry, Lara Jean,” Kitty soothes. “I’ve seen worse on regular TV, not even HBO.” “Kitty, go to your room!” Margot yells. Kitty whimpers and clings closer to me. I can’t believe what I am seeing. The caption reads Goody two shoes Lara Jean having full-on sex with Kavinsky in the hot tub. Do condoms work underwater? Guess we’ll find out soon enough. ;) The comments are a lot of wide-eyed emojis and lols. Someone named Veronica Chen wrote, What a slut! Is she Asian?? I don’t even know who Veronica Chen is! “Who could have done this to me?” I wail, pressing my hands to my cheeks. “I can’t feel my face. Is my face still my face?” “Who the hell is Anonybitch?” Margot demands. “No one knows,” I say, and the roaring in my ears is so loud I can hardly hear my own voice. “People just re-gram her. Or him. Am I talking really loud right now?” I’m in shock. Now I can’t feel my hands or feet. I’m gonna faint. Is this happening? Is this my life?

After we finished the interview Paul thanked me for my time and told me he thought I was great on the radio. He suggested I think about it as a career. I thanked him and said I’d consider it. But really all I was thinking about was Jamie. As soon as I got in my car I looked on my phone and saw I had a Facebook friend request from her. I felt schoolgirl giddy. I accepted the request and immediately called my Army buddy Max. Max is one of the guys who came with me on that first Tough Mudder. We are really close friends, and he’s someone I’ve always confided in. Just a few weeks before I had called and told him, “You know what? I’m done with women for the time being, but the next time I talk to a girl, I’m shooting out of my league.” So now I called Max and said, “I’ve met a girl way out of my league and I’m gonna take a shot.” I wasn’t good at asking women out and felt really nervous. I told Max she had sent me a friend request and he urged me to send her a private message on Facebook. I typed out a pretty long message and hit SEND. Then I finally put the keys in the ignition and left the radio station parking lot. Every red light I hit, I checked my phone to see if she had responded. She hadn’t. Why wasn’t she responding? Finally, I pulled over and looked again. The message hadn’t gone through! I panicked and called Max back. “What am I gonna do? What if I send another one and the first one is just floating through the Internet and it eventually goes through? Do I send another one? Do I make it sound exactly the same? I’m gonna look like a crazy person! What do I do? I don’t know what to do!” Max calmed me down again and I rewrote my original message. This time she responded. “Jamie, it was great meeting you and Paul today. Sorry you got stuck with a used bracelet. If I run into you again I will hook you up with a new one. You’ll just have to give that one back. They aren’t free. LOL. Take care.” She responded: “Ha ha. Actually, Noah Galloway, I got the one I wanted ;). Great to meet you, too. Love your story. Tragedy to triumph. I can’t imagine the number of people you inspire every day. Hope to run into you sooner rather than later.

OMG, I'm so sorry, do you want me to come over? You shouldnt be alone." I'm fine, and I'm staying at Connors tonight, he was with me when I got the call." "Seriously Elle? What the hell is going on between the two of you? Did you sleep with him?" "No! We're just friends, and I'm staying in the guest room." "Shut the f**k up and get into that mans bed, let him make you forget about everything bad, at least for tonight." "LOL, good night Peyton, I'll keep in touch." "Live Elle! Have you ever heard of friends with benefits? Nighty night...

JazzyGirl: LOL. Since you and Alex kept in contact, I assume he knows your partner. Evilnbored: Alex is my partner. He didn't have to wait as long for her response this time. In fact, he could almost imagine her screaming through the computer. JazzyGirl: OMG, OMG, OMG. I had no idea. Were the two of you together in high school? Evilnbored: No, not at all. We've only been partners since our senior year in college. Back in high school ... I never admitted to myself I liked guys as well as I did girls, although I had some inkling. And Alex ... I'll let him tell you his story. JazzyGirl: I can't believe you guys never told me. I feel left out. Her words sounded so much like the old Jasmine he really did laugh out loud. 33 Coming Full Circle by Liz Andrews Evilnbored: Sorry? JazzyGirl: Unacceptable. I need to be completely caught up on all the news that's fit to print. And all the other stuff too. Evilnbored: Um, okay, what do you want to know exactly? JazzyGirl: Hehehe, oh, you don't know it, but you gave me the keys to the castle. Evilnbored: Should I be scared? JazzyGirl: I'm not the evil one, LOL. Evilnbored: Oh boy. Ask away before I regret offering to tell you anything. JazzyGirl: You can't see me right now, but I'm rubbing my hands gleefully

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A Juan on Juan.

I’m taking your love of MILF porn to the grave with me, don’t worry.” He stared at me, unblinking, unflinching. And then: “I’ll cut the power at the house when you’re in the shower,” he said so evenly, so crisply, it took me a second to realize he was threatening me… And when it finally did hit me, I burst out laughing, smacking his inner thigh without thinking twice about it. “Who does that?” Aiden Graves, husband of mine, said it, “Me.

A letter from the great-grandson.” He shakes his head sadly. “Sweet boy, but I don’t know how he’s going to make it through school with that name. Eustace .” “Maybe he’ll go by a nickname,” I offer, but Ernie isn’t going for it. “What sort of nickname? Eu? Stace?” He folds the letter and gingerly sets it on the coffee table in front of him. “Ah, well. His mother says she labored with him for two and a half days, so he deserves it.

He always said to me, 'Mildred, one day this will all be yours.'" Simon made a wide gesture, encompassing books, cats, and the door to Samara. "Er, he called you Mildred?" "Often as not" "Maybe he really meant to leave everything to Mildred," said Jinx "If she ever shows up, we'll talk," said Simon. "But I think she may have been a dog he once had.

How long does it take to make scholar?" "Varies" said Wendell. "But only one in ten make it." "One in ten?" "Well yeah, but you'll make it. I can tell you're smart. Most of my roommates have been smart. In fact all of my roommates have gotten through." Wendell smiled like he didn't mind this, and there was an orange puff of hurt that said he minded it very much. "All your roommates? How long have you been here?" Said Jinx. "Four years

Dane?” He lifts his bear head, sad brown eyes hitting me right in the soul. So much sorrow. “Are you okay, big guy? Do you want a hug? Or maybe some berries? Bears like berries, right? I’ll buy you the biggest bag of blackberries I can find if you come back to me in human form.

I see you on television. You’ll jump through hoops to provide fast relief from painful athlete’s foot fungus.” “That’s not me,” I tell her. “I get you a great deal on a new or used vehicle.

I’ll have you know…” I pointing an unsteady finger in the air as I notched my elbow on the table. “I’ve been letting him win.” “And why would you do that?” Fjor asked, the shadow of a mocking smile ghosting the edges of his cruel mouth. “To be a good wife.” I rolled my eyes. “Obviously.” “Good wives go to bed when they’re told to,” he returned calmly. “Yes, well, none of us are perfect.

Michelle: Lol. Funny how often that happens. So, when can I come over and meet him? I’ll be all like, TOLO come over here and impregnate me with your sexy magician babies. Matilda: TOLO…? Michelle: Tits out, legs open. Matilda: Okay. Sorry I asked.

Give me some credit, I text back. If I murder him, I won’t do it today. I’ll wait until we’re hiking in some backwoods location. No bail money necessary if I’m not caught, right?" "You’re so smart. Glad to see you putting that shiny new bachelor’s degree to good use.

I’ll be all hugs and kisses. Especially because he’s wound so tight that if I hug him hard enough, a diamond will probably pop out of his ass. Then I’ll be rich and we can pay for that lawyer." "Your aunt Clara says she isn’t sure which is more disturbing: that image of diamonds popping out or of you collecting them despite knowing where they’ve been

I'll tell Mom,” Creed says, clapping his hands together and beaming like an idiot. I blink in surprise and nod, a little proud of the boy. Yeah… that would probably work. Mom is all about true love and that bullshit. If Creed tells her Nox is keeping him from someone he believes he could have a future with, she would put her youngest son in his place so fast Nox wouldn't know what happened.

More young people are opting not to have kids not only because they can’t afford them but also because they assume they’ll have only a scorched or sodden wasteland to grow up in. An increasingly popular retirement plan is figuring civilization will collapse before you have to worry about it. I’m not sure anyone’s composed a more eloquent epitaph for the planet than the stand-up comedian Kath Barbadoro, who tweeted: “It’s pretty funny that the world is ending and we all just have to keep going to our little jobs lol.” (It’s Time to Stop Living the American Scam, The New York Times)

Why is it that when you talk to God, it’s called praying? Whenever God talks to me, they call it schizophrenia.

What does every heterosexual man realize ten years into marriage? Why “gay” also means happy.

비윈 DU-55.COM 추천코드:ASAS7 첫충10%-매충5% 단폴&크로스가능/네임드사다리1.95 홀짝-좌우-출줄/달팽이-로하이/매쿼실시간/국.해외스타리그&LOL/각종스폐셜등. 많은 이벤트로 여러분을 맞이하고 있으니 구경오셔서 둘러보고 가세요. 모험을 하지 않는다면 넌 네가 무엇을 할 수 있는지조차 절대 알수 없다. “If you never take risks, you’ll never know what you’re capable of.

새축경기 DU-55.COM 추천코드:ASAS7 첫충10%-매충5% 단폴&크로스가능/네임드사다리1.95 홀짝-좌우-출줄/달팽이-로하이/매쿼실시간/국.해외스타리그&LOL/각종스폐셜등. 많은 이벤트로 여러분을 맞이하고 있으니 구경오셔서 둘러보고 가세요. 삶이 힘들수록 넌 더욱 강해지고, 더 강해질수록 삶은 더 쉬워진다. “The harder the life, the stronger you’ll become. The stronger you become, the easier life will be.

Mid May 2012 Dearest Andy, After all these years, you have not changed. You’ll always be the Valet I’ve grown to love and adore. When I read your email, I can hear the sound of your voice as it was so long ago. Although we are miles apart, I continue to feel you close to my heart. After our separation, I looked for a ‘big brother’ and lover like you and failed miserably, until Walter came into my life. He inquires about you persistently. I think he is hoping for a triplet relationship, similar to the one we shared with Oscar. He thinks highly of you. Walter is very similar to you, in that you both know that you are gods who could do no wrong. In the majority of cases, that is how I remember you. Of course we both have our shortcomings, as humans do. The wonderful times we shared definitely overshadowed the negative moments. I fear that having two alpha males in the same house will be a disaster because you’ll both be competing for power and lording your masculinity over me. That’s scary! LOL! That said, my partner and I discuss you frequently. The difference between you two is that he fully supports the writing of my memoirs while you, my friend, have made it clear that writing about my adolescent life experiences isn’t a good idea. I respect both your differing opinions, but this is something I will have to decide on my own. I sincerely believe that now is the moment to tell my story and I will tell it without hurting or exposing anyone unnecessarily. I’ve changed the names of the schools, the society, and, of course, the people that played an important role in my young life. Do you remember when we were in Las Vegas working on “Sacred Sex In Sacred Places”? The Count told us that Howard Hughes was in town and you dragged me along for an audience with the tycoon? You desperately wanted an apprenticeship in his aerodynamics engineering company. I remember the episode well. That experience is definitely worth documenting in my memoirs. We will have many opportunities to reminisce, but for now I am simply happy that we are communicating regularly. Tell me more about yourself in your next correspondence. I love you and miss you. Wishing you all the best! Young.

I hated all of these pursuits, except photography and horseback riding, and little did the organizers know, I was already versed in a variety of social and leadership skills. After these confidence-building challenges, the various units headed off on separate expeditions. As the individual group developed the capacity to face challenges, the instructor would ask his allotted unit to make its own decisions. I was teamed with a group of five older boys between the ages of eighteen and twenty. Our Portuguese-French instructor was a twenty-three-year-old named Jules – the moment I’d set eyes on him, I was enthralled by his handsome ruggedness, and I had made it a point to join his team no matter what it took. Meanwhile, my “gaydar” also detected a half-Chinese and part Hispanic-American teammate called Kim. He, too, was checking out our instructor, and me. I befriended Kim and roomed with him on camping trips. Singapore, being a conservative society, did not condone homosexuality, let alone at this super ‘macho’ outpost. During a swimming sojourn, I decided to pretend to drown to get the instructor to come to my rescue. Sure enough, when I feigned suffocation in the ocean, Jules headed my direction. While swimming to pull me ashore, I reached to brush his groin, as if by accident. I did this several times and felt his growing penis with every touch. By the time he’d pulled me aground, he had sprouted a full erection behind his speedo. When he gave me the kiss of life, I jabbed my tongue into his mouth. Taken aback, he withdrew contact before resuming the revitalization process. This time, he lingered when his mouth was on mine. He played it cool, since our patrol was watching the entire incident. He ordered my teammates back to their respective duties when he carried me to the tent I shared with Kim. Although he knew I was capering with him, no words were exchanged throughout the entire process; neither did he make any attestation that he was aroused by what had transpired. Before leaving the tent, he uttered, “I’ll check in later to make sure you are okay…” He trailed off when Kim entered. My dearest ex, I’m sure you are intrigued to hear the rest of my story. You will… eventually. LOL! For now, I bid you adios, because my significant other is calling me to dinner.☺   Love and hugs. Your loving ex, Young XOXOXO

Christmas Eve 2012 Continuation of my Message to Andy (part one)   Hi Loverboy,               I wish you a very Merry Yuletide, and I hope 2012 had been good to you. I’m back to tantalize you with my 1970 experience at OBSS. LOL!               Without further ado, this is how I remember the unfolding events.               Curious Kim was eager to find out what had transpired after Jules left our tent. I was pretty sure my tent-mate was gay. He, like me, had the hots for our handsome instructor.               Though I revised the story to that of Jules sticking his tongue into my mouth during my resuscitation process rather than the other way round, Kim found my narration titillating. He pressed me to tell him what it was like to kiss Jules.               I queried, “Why don’t you make a move on him to find out?”               He was shocked by my suggestion and exclaimed, “I would never do such a thing!”               “Why not?”               “Because… because I’m not that way inclined,” he said.               Although I did not press him to admit his homosexual tendencies, I asked, “Are you afraid of getting caught?”               He was taken aback by my boldness. He went silent before commiserating, “No one is a homosexual in Singapore, let alone at the Outward Bound School.”               I burst out in laughter. “Are you kidding me? What planet do you come from?”               The Eurasian added, “It’s illegal to be a homosexual in this country.”               I challenged, “Just because the government ruled against homosexuality doesn’t mean gay people don’t exist.”               He looked around conspicuously before he countered, “If you say these kinds of things, you’ll be expelled.”               “Are you telling me you don’t fancy our instructor?” I pressed.               As if I had cornered him, he stammered, “I… er… like him. He’s my teacher. Of course I like him.”               “You don’t get aroused when he’s close to you?” I exerted.

The Week before the New Year of 2013 Andy’s email   Young, you like to keep me in suspense with your OBSS experiences… but I’m patient and don’t mind waiting to read the rest of your story. After all, I’ve waited all these years to reconnect – a few days’ interlude wouldn’t imperil our relationship. LOL!               The New Year is once again upon us. What are you up to this holiday season? In a couple of days I’ll be off to Tasmania with my rowing buddies. We are competing with the Lindisfarne Rowing Club at their annual event. It’ll be an enjoyable excursion.               Well boy, continue writing your memoirs. I love reading your blogs. They have been bringing back memories I had long forgotten.☺               My dear chap, stay healthy, be happy and keep your correspondence coming.               Love, hugs and kisses, Andy XOXOXO

New Year’s Eve 2012 Continuation of my Message to Andy (part 4)   Wishing you a Happy New Year, lover-boy. You are still your flirtatious, charismatic self, you charmer. I may just fall back in love with you after all these years. LOL!               Upon your return from your rowing competition, you’ll get to read the rest of my OBSS experiences. Anyone but you, a seasoned man in such racy matters, would be scandalized.☺

It doesn't matter how negative something is. Just add "LOL" and it'll automatically become positive!

lol I can sleep, i've never had a problem with it. I just never got much. These days if i'm not awake doing something, i'll stay in bed from night til night and have no problems with hiding under the duvet. That's what worries me. It comes to the point sometimes that I don't know what i worry more about when going to sleep - my dreams? my dreams that are nightmares, or the real fact that it doesn't matter if my eyes are closed or open, i'm still living the same thing. Pretty fecking depressing if you ask me lol So I tend to stay awake the longest I can so that when I fall asleep i'm too tired to say or do much that I just sleep and don't think.

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.......we'll see about that.....

We can't do something that might make us look ridiculous, because first impressions last forever. We can't try and fail, because then we'll be ruined forever. Think a scar (or a tattoo, for that matter) is permanent? It's not. Your body was literally formed from stardust and will eventually return there. The duration of a scar doesn't even register on the big time line. In fact, I heard that God watches jewelry commercials and LOL's when they say that diamonds are forever. It's all a big joke up there. There's a drinking game in Heaven, where angels do a shot every time humans invest "for the long term." What are you so fucking worried about?

Eddie the Hot Guy: Hey babe, how’s your shift going? Alex the Sexy Bouncer: Hey sexy, it’s boring without you to brighten it. Eddie smiled to himself. He would have preferred to go dance with Alex too but he didn’t want to be one of those people who ditches all their friends when someone hot comes along. Eddie the Hot Guy: Aww, maybe this will help *image* Eddie sent a photo from the neck down with the covers rolled down, showing just the very base of his cock and top of his pubes. Alex the Sexy Bouncer: Nope. Didn’t help. Now I’m semi hard and wishing I was in your bed. Knowing it’s only a block away is painful. Eddie chuckled. He had a point. Eddie the Hot Guy: Woops, sorry. I’ll make it up to you, call me when you get home. I don’t care what time, my only plans are to sleep in tomorrow anyway xx Alex the Sexy Bouncer: Well, that only seems fair, you did create this problem in my pants after all lol Eddie the Hot Guy: Talk soon xx

Cade: Be a gentleman. Lance: Lol. Cade. Relax. You know I’ll take care of your nanny. Cade: One hair out of place and I’ll kill you. Lance: What about multiple hairs? Cade: Are you fucking kidding me right now? You got a death wish? Lance: You’re the idiot who let her go.

As a reader and analyst of data myself, I get a joyful thrill every time I zoom out on the English language and realize that we’re somewhere in the middle of its story, not at the beginning or end. I don’t know how we’ll be writing in the twenty-second century, but I feel a responsibility to help its linguists gain a broad cross-section of the language of the twenty-first by not lingering overlong in the twentieth. To that end, I’ve chosen to lowercase “internet” and social acronyms like “lol” and “omg” and to write “email” rather than “e-mail,” and when I’ve needed to make a decision on other spelling choices, I’ve looked up which ones are more common in the Corpus of Global Web-Based English and tweets by ordinary people rather than which ones are favored by usage manuals, which has led me to close many compound words.

I’ll pass on California,” I laughed drily. “Too hot for me.” “You can handle me, I’m sure you can handle any amount of hotness.

Weird." When she leans back into her chair, almost relived that I'm not offended by her viper wanting a little lesbian action, I try not to laugh. "Sorry, little viper, I've got enough people in my harem at the moment, but whenever a spot opens, I'll let Mara know." She narrows her eyes at me and says, "No thanks.

Can we keep her?” Eli asked eagerly. “You want to keep the girl that smells like marijuana and tears?” I replied drolly. And Seth’s body wash, my mind supplied unhelpfully. “Why don’t we wake her up first?” Seth muttered, his nose twitching. “Great idea. I’ll lick her face,” Eli responded, more dog than bear. “You will not,

How many marks do you think you’ll get for treason?” “One from the Scholar to make my skin fairer, one from the Weaver to make me taller, one from the King to make me fatter, one from the Inquisitor to make me stronger, and one from the Warmaster to fix whatever it is he doesn’t like about me.” “Probably your general attitude. He gets at least a dozen offers of marriage a week; he doesn’t understand what you don’t like about him.” “Probably his general attitude.

Yes?” “This is your fake emergency call.” Elijah sounded bored. “Blah blah emergency blah.” “Is everything okay?” Kalen bit out. “Clearly not.” “I’ll be there in an hour.” “You’re a terrible actor. You only have one tone: angry.

I’m happy alone,” he told her. “If you ruin that happiness, I’ll fucking ruin yours.

Listen, of course you’re nervous but here’s the deal: you’re ready for all the bad stuff. You’ve been very tired before. You’ve been in pain before. You’ve been worried about money before. You’ve felt like an incapable moron before. So you’ll be fine with the difficult parts! You’re already a pro. What you’re NOT ready for is the wonderful parts. NOTHING can prepare you for how amazing this will be. There is no practice for that. There is no warm-up version. You are about to know joy that will blow your fucking mind apart. Happiness before this? HA HA. Mystery? LOL. Wonder? Fuck off! You are about to see something magical and new that you have no map for! None!

Marie: Well, we’ll miss you at the ball. As for the PhD, I appreciate what you’re doing, but don’t do a degree you don’t want to do. Max: Don’t take this the wrong way. You know I love you, but I want to do a PhD a lot more than I want to . . . do you. LOL.

I have a feeling he’s aware of everything going on around him and that he’ll jump to his feet at the slightest provocation and kill whoever bothered him with that damn sausage. I wonder what my obituary would say in that scenario? Here lies Nicholette Bettencourt, who died from being whipped to death by sausage. Rest in peace. Then again, do the criminals here get obituaries?

Stop letting fear leach into your voice,” Luca snaps from behind Rhiannon. “If the dragons think you’re a coward, you’ll be nothing but a name tomorrow.” “She says,” Ridoc narrates, “inducing more fear.

And what about how she’ll be… divided?” Forrest asks gruffly. I wince at the poor word choice. “Divided?” she asks, her tone outraged. “I’m not a pie!

Live like there is no tommorow cause tommorow is never promised. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. God does not judge us on our fathers sins. Father son and holy spirit I hold you nearest. To be a mother you need to actually be there and represent what a mother is. You don’t get to be the mother if you show up after the kids are already grown up. She’s like all those animals at the end of the story who show up to eat the Little Red Hen’s bread. The train crawls out of the Tapachula station. From here on, he thinks, nothing bad can happen. People come here to prosper. You have nothing here. What have you accomplished? You can't live through or claim there your children if you weren't there for them. The garden is a metaphor of opposites man women good evil up down everything has a opposite. God had already planned my destiny before I was created. Treat others how they treat you or how you want to be treated. My kids are my world and I will protect them from your evil manipulative narcissistic ways. Forgive but never forget. Knowledge is power. You don't own me. I only owe my servitude to the family I created and God. Love thy father who art in heaven. Your only Australian if you live in Australia. If you live in America your American stop trying to get freinds and likes based on where other people think your from. Don't blow your own trumpet. A bad worker blames his tools. No worries mate she'll be right. Couldn't hand a man a grander spanner The game was a fizzer. I wouldn't piss on them even if they were on fire. If you think I'm bad you should see my sister. She gives me cupcakes for my birthday. Happy birthday man whore. She's like that white girl at the gangbang party Your mother and father would be proud lol. narcissistic siblings keep score and feel compelled to outplay a sibling. They often triangulate in the family, playing two against one. Children reared in narcissistic homes rarely feel connected to one another as adults which is a good thing. Suck a big black cock casey. And mum try too lol and dad I'm not even gonna bother keep paying that child support mum and keep it for yourself and your drugs and alcohole dad Lord knows

Yes. Were you in here earlier today?” “I was with my parents, yeah. We came first thing in the morning to check out the new releases in the video game section for my dad.” “Okay,” said Hawk. “And did the lasers touch any part of you when you guys checked out?” Emily thought for a moment, and then remembered she had played with it before her father paid for the game. “Yeah, it did. The employee let me run my hand over the lasers a few times before she scanned the game. She told me there were lasers that read the price of the game and I didn’t believe her, so she let me put my hand over them. All the little laser lights formed a grid on my palm. It was pretty cool.” Cuddly laughed. “Pretty cool, and pretty enchanted!” “You mean those lasers are what brought me here?” Emily asked. Hawk turned to face her. “We believe that’s probably what did it. While none of us in the store are entirely sure, we do know it’s how you can get home and back to your normal size though.” “That sounds crazy. There’s no way that’s even possible,” said Emily. “You’re right,” said Cuddly sarcastically. “I guess the talking teddy bear and toy elf don’t know what they’re speaking about, is that it?” Emily remained silent. “Listen,” said Hawk as he walked toward her. “We only have a short journey ahead of us, and most of the time it’s easy to get people back to their homes. This happens quite often, you’d be surprised. But this time, it’s a little more difficult because you woke Officer Onslaught.” “What’s his deal?” Emily asked. “His deal is that he maintains the facility of Prelude. He’s actually a necessity for the business because he keeps a lot of the rodents out. Every now and again, we’ll get a rogue toy in here trying to sabotage the store, and he helps keep them out too.” “So he’s just doing his job,” said Emily. “Right,” said Cuddly. “He’s a robot though, so thinking ain’t exactly his strong suit. He’s can’t think independently. Just a cog in the machine, and you’re technically not supposed to be here so he’s trying to rid the store of you.” “What’s ‘a cog in the machine’ mean?” “It means he’s just a moving part to this store. He’s only valuable as long as he keeps up with the work he’s assigned. He’s a replaceable toy. The second he breaks down, one of the other Officer Onslaughts will take his place, maintaining the status quo.

From: Gabrielle Katz To: Cecily Anderson, Prianka Basak Subject: SUMMER CAMPING TRIP WOOOO HOOOO Guys, let’s have a meeting with our moms to discuss the summer plans. It’ll be great. I think I’d rather spend the summer with you guys than with my dad. I see him every other night now and we have fun, but you guys are more fun. Don’t tell him. LOL. OK, let’s discuss! XOX ILYSM Gabs

Max-Ernest shook his head. "One day you'll understand. Life is different when you have a kid

AMBER I’ll be black in a minute. Mike Huh?!? AMBER I meant back! Freaking autocorrect. As far as I know, I won’t be black anytime soon. Lol!

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.

Me: Literally any word? And I say it and we leave? Trace: Yup—any word or phrase. Say, for example, you were talking and wanted to go and said wiener. I would know it was time to leave. Me: As if I’d be able to use the word wiener in a sentence casually in front of all those people. Trace: It wouldn’t have to be in front of anyone—you could whisper wiener in my ear. This has got to be the strangest conversation I’ve ever had with a man, in my entire life. Me: Um, yeah, no. Trace: What about smegma. Or moist. Ointment. Me: LOL I laugh, imagining the look on a baseball player’s face—or a wife’s, or a girlfriend’s—if I used any of those words in a sentence. Trace: Wanker. Phlegm. Plunker. Flaps. Me: No! Where are you coming up with these? Trace: It has to be a word that is distinct so there is no mistaking it’s the escape word! Me: I get that, but does it have to be gross? Trace: What’s gross about the word plunker? Me: LOL Trace: Fine. How about…Daddy. Me: LOL Me: Nice try—I am NOT calling you Daddy in public. Trace: So what you’re saying is, you’ll call me Daddy in private? Me: LOL NO!

A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" The priest replied "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."  "Well I'll be," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized, "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"  "I don't have it Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does." A guy is going down on his girlfriend and says, "Man you have a big pussy! Man you have a big pussy!" She snaps back, "Why'd you say it twice?" He replies, "I didn't...

I could list more excuses, but a mind that is set against accomplishing its goals will always have a fresh one close at hand.  Instead, I'll give you first step: set your morning alarm one hour earlier.  Devote that hour to your dreams.  Rip out the snooze button.  Know you will sleep all the better when your project is done.  Think I'm kidding?  Think this is just a clever way to start a book? 

Keep things light and fun by throwing in a joke or two every now and then or being playful in your messages. In your first email to a woman, ask her a silly question that will make her be playful with you. For example, you could ask her “Would you date a man just for his amazing cooking skills?” She will probably respond back “Maybe LOL. Are you a good cook? :)” If you get a response like “Only if he’s good in bed too :)”, ante up the playful vibe by throwing in a multiple response question such as the one below. Have you ever stolen chocolate from a shop? Yes, but I feel very guilty about it (+1) Yes, and I still do it all the time (+3) No, I’m scared that if I do I’ll go to hell (-5) No, I only eat low-calorie treats (0) By assigning points to each of the potential responses, you can highlight your mischievous and fun-loving nature and also gauge how playful a women is by her response. The trick is to assign high point values to socially unacceptable responses and low point values for socially acceptable responses. A “I do everything

If I ever have to get that close to the Prince of Greed again, it’ll be too fuckin’ soon. And I ain’t ever doin’ that Star-Trek teleportation crap again, yah hear? I feel dirty .

I thought there was a big, creepy bug crawling on me. Guess it was just your fingers, William. Terribly sorry about that. Maybe next time you’ll learn to keep them to yourself.