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I really canβt say why I did it, exactly. It was a mix of things. I had these feelings that I couldnβt express. I hated who I was, I was pathetic, I was this incomplete person, something wasnβt right with me, everybody else seemed to take things in their stride but it felt harder for me, I wanted to send a message to people, I wanted to send a message to myself, I wanted somebody to help me, I wanted me to help me, but there was no reason for me to get special treatment and I was sorry for everything and I was angry, angry at myself and angry with people and angry with how things were, but it wasnβt normal anger, it was something else, it was a sad anger. I didnβt know what it was.
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