L.r.knost Quotes

It's not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It's our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.

Life is amazing. And then it's awful. And then it's amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it's breathtakingly beautiful.

Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things break. And all things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you.

Some say they get lost in books, but I find myself, again and again, in the pages of a good book. Humanly speaking, there is no greater teacher, no greater therapist, no greater healer of the soul, than a well-stocked library.

Saying someone can't be sad because someone else may have it worse is like saying someone can't be happy because someone else may have it better. ~Unknown

It is time for a return to childhood, to simplicity, to running and climbing and laughing in the sunshine, to experiencing happiness instead of being trained for a lifetime of pursuing happiness. It is time to let children be children again.

Books on the bookshelves And stacked on the floor Books kept in baskets And propped by the door Books in neat piles And in disarray Books tucked in closets And books on display Books filling crannies And books packed in nooks Books massed in windows And mounded in crooks Libraries beckon And bookstores invite But book-filled rooms welcome Us back home at night!

Forgiveness empties the past of its power to empty the present of its peace.

Don't make yourself small. Not for anyone. If someone tells you you're too much... too loud, too sensitive, too fierce, too caring, too intellectual, too optimistic, too realistic, too logical, too emotional... just smile and move on, my friend. Clearly, they aren't enough for you.

Taking care of myself doesn't mean 'me first.' It means 'me, too.

When you're lying in bed at night and regrets from the day come to steal your sleep... "I should have" "If only I'd" "I wish I'd" ...grab one of them and turn it into an "I will" and sleep peacefully knowing tomorrow will be a better day.

Instead of raising children who turn out okay despite their childhood, let's raise children who turn out extraordinary because of their childhood.

When life feels too big to handle, go outside. Everything looks smaller when you're standing under the sky.

Discipline is helping a child solve a problem. Punishment is making a child suffer for having a problem. To raise problem solvers, focus on solutions, not retribution.

Tell your story. Shout it. Write it. Whisper it if you have to. But tell it. Some won't understand it. Some will outright reject it. But many will thank you for it. And then the most magical thing will happen. One by one, voices will start whispering, 'Me, too.' And your tribe will gather. And you will never feel alone again.

Life doesn't always get better. But you do. You get stronger. You get wiser. You get softer. With tattered wings you rise. And the world watches in wonder at the breathless beauty of a human who survived life.

Remember, no matter the problem, kindness is always the right response. When your child is having a problem, stop, listen, then respond to the need, not the behavior. The behavior can be addressed later, after the need has been met, because only then is the door to effective communication truly open.

Parenting has nothing to do with perfection. Perfection isn’t even the goal, not for us, not for our children. Learning together to live well in an imperfect world, loving each other despite or even because of our imperfections, and growing as humans while we grow our little humans, those are the goals of gentle parenting. So don’t ask yourself at the end of the day if you did everything right. Ask yourself what you learned and how well you loved, then grow from your answer. That is perfect parenting.

When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions, it's our job to share our calm, not join their chaos.

Want to help stop the bullying epidemic? Don’t act like a bully. Don’t hit, threaten, ignore, isolate, intimidate, ridicule, or manipulate your child. Children really do learn what they live…

Taking care of yourself doesn't mean me first, it means me too.

Do not be hardened by the pain and cruelty of this world. Be strong enough to be gentle, to be soft and supple like running water, gracefully bending around sudden turns, lithely waving in strong winds, freely flowing over sharp rocks, all the while quietly sculpting this hard world into ever deeper beauty, gently eroding rigid rock into silken sand, tenderly transforming human cruelty into humankindness. Remember, true strength is not found in the stone, but in the water that shapes the stone.

Fairy tales in childhood are stepping stones throughout life, leading the way through trouble and trial. The value of fairy tales lies not in a brief literary escape from reality, but in the gift of hope that goodness truly is more powerful than evil and that even the darkest reality can lead to a Happily Ever After. Do not take that gift of hope lightly. It has the power to conquer despair in the midst of sorrow, to light the darkness in the valleys of life, to whisper “One more time” in the face of failure. Hope is what gives life to dreams, making the fairy tale the reality.

Here's to the bridge-builders, the hand-holders, the light-bringers, those extraordinary souls wrapped in ordinary lives who quietly weave threads of humanity into an inhumane world. They are the unsung heroes in a world at war with itself. They are the whisperers of hope that peace is possible. Look for them in this present darkness. Light your candle with their flame. And then go. Build bridges. Hold hands. Bring light to a dark and desperate world. Be the hero you are looking for. Peace is possible. It begins with us.

For a child, it is in the simplicity of play that the complexity of life is sorted like puzzle pieces joined together to make sense of the world.

It’s not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It’s our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.

Parents, choose your words wisely, carefully, thoughtfully. In the same way that violence begets violence and anger begets anger, kindness begets kindness and peace begets peace. Sow words of peace, words that build, words that show respect and belief and support.

Until our world decides that every human matters, that everyone has a right to food and safety and freedom and healthcare and equality, it is the obligation of those privileged to have food and safety and freedom and healthcare and equality to fight tirelessly for those who do not.

Respecting a child teaches them that even the smallest, most powerless, most vulnerable person is worthy of respect. And that is a lesson our world desperately needs to learn.

Leave a trail of light behind you Everywhere you go. Whose darkness you'll illuminate You may never know.

As Maya Angelou, American author, poet, and self-described Renaissance Woman, wrote, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.

No matter the problem, kindness is always the right response.

Keep working on you. Remind yourself that it’s your emotions and experiences and expectations that are causing your outbursts, not your little one’s behavior.

Here’s the thing, effective parenting and, more specifically, effective discipline, don’t require punishment. Equating discipline with punishment is an unfortunate, but common misconception. The root word in discipline is actually disciple which in the verb form means to guide, lead, teach, model, and encourage. In the noun form disciple means one who embraces the teaching of, follows the example of, and models their life after.

We are imperfect humans growing imperfect humans in an imperfect world, and that's perfectly okay.

It is helpful to remember that the most strong-willed children tend to be the ones who identify the most strongly with their parents. So instead of viewing their seemingly constant challenges as defiance or attempts to thwart authority, work to parent from a place of understanding that your strong-willed child is actually on a discovery mission and is doing endless 'research' on you by testing and retesting and digging and chiseling to discover all of your quirks and foibles and ups and downs and strengths and weaknesses.

If perfection were possible, the Cross wouldn’t have been necessary. (Galatians 2:21)

Patience is an inner pause, a brief stillness, a moment we give ourselves to breathe through our initial reaction so we can move to the place where a calm, thoughtful response is born. Patience is a gift of time we give ourselves so we can give the gift of peace to others.

And just when the darkness became too much to bear and the struggle too hard, the light broke through and the caterpillar emerged a butterfly delicate but unbroken, wild and gentle, finally free to spread its lovely wings and fly away on the wind.

Be kind. Be friendly. Be likable. But don't worry if someone doesn't like you. You won't be everyone's cup of tea, and that's okay. You can be someone's cup of coffee instead. And coffee is AWESOME.

YELLING silences your message. Speak quietly so your children can hear your words instead of just your voice.

We don't lose ourselves in parenthood. We find parts of ourselves we never knew existed.

The parents’ perceptions all too often become the reality. In other words, who they believe they are raising is who they will raise.

Pieces of who I was shattered reassembled into who I am; Shards shaping into prisms casting arcs of soul-fire into who I will be; I am a kaleidoscope of all the versions of myself I was and am and will become.

One day your child will make a mistake or a bad choice and run to you instead of away from you and in that moment you will know the immense value of peaceful, positive, respectful parenting.

Giving our children rest means being their safe harbor, their place to retreat when life hurts and the world looms large and people disappoint and mistakes are made. Becoming that safe harbor means being free ~ freely available, freely offered, freely welcoming.

New mothers are often told that once they've fed, burped, and changed their baby they should leave their baby alone to self-soothe if they cry because all of their needs have been met. One day I hope all new mothers will smile confidently and say, "I gave birth to a baby, not just a digestive system. My baby as a brain that needs to learn trust and a heart that needs love. I will meet all of my baby's needs, emotional, mental, and physical, and I'll respond to every cry because crying is communication, not manipulation.

Growing independence, though, doesn’t have to mean growing separation. Humans were created to be relational beings. We may outgrow our dependency, but we never outgrow the need for community, interaction, appreciation, reassurance, and support.

Strong-willed children often grow into strong-willed adults who become world leaders, world shapers, and world changers. Parenting them peacefully is not only possible, it’s imperative because sowing peace in their hearts now while they’re in our care will grow a future of peace later when the world is in their care.

If I leave this world with only kindness as my legacy, it will be enough.

Let love always lead you to listen more deeply, understand more fully, connect more securely, forgive more freely, communicate more clearly, and respond more gently.

It is when speaking is not safe that we must speak. It is when taking a stand hurts that we must stand. Whenever freedom is threatened, we must resist. When forces oppress us, we must persist. And when hope deserts us, we must rest... then pick up the torch again and again and again until all are free to do the same.

Equating discipline with punishment is an unfortunate, but common misconception. The root word in discipline is actually disciple which in the verb form means to guide, lead, teach, model, and encourage. In the noun form disciple means one who embraces the teaching of, follows the example of, and models their life after.

When you see a dandelion do you see a wish or a weed? When you hear a child cry do you hear a need or a demand? When you wash a sticky face do you feel blessed or burdened? As parents, our perspective determines our response, and our response determines our children's reality. So let's wish wishes, meet needs, and count blessings to make childhood a magical, peaceful, joy-filled reality for both our children and ourselves.

Consciously, intentionally, and consistently living out how we want our children to turn out is the most powerful and effective character training there is.

Don't ask yourself at the end of the day if you did everything right. Ask yourself how well you loved and then grow from your answer. Repeat for a lifetime.

the fact is that hurting people hurt people, and children raised with condemnation in whatever form it takes are hurting people. Period. Words matter.

Keep in mind, the most challenging, independent children tend to be the ones who need the most intentional parental reconnection. Strong will = Strong need!

Children don’t ‘mis’behave. They behave, either positively or negatively, to communicate. Small children communicate through their behavior because that is the only method of communication they have. Even when they become verbal, though, they still aren’t able to articulate big feelings and subtle problems well verbally, so as parents it’s our role to ‘listen between the lines’ of our children’s behavior to discern the need being communicated. Setting boundaries is not about ‘mis’behavior. It’s about guiding behavior, and guidance is something we provide through everyday interactions with our children.

Glass ceilings can't stop me. Glass slippers don't interest me. Glass mirrors don't define me. I decide who I will or I will not be. And I choose to be unbreakable untakeable unshakeable me.

Life is amazing. And then it's awful. And then it's amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful, it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it's breathtakingly beautiful.

Take some time to tell your child you like them today and list the reasons why. Then watch in wonder as they blossom before your eyes. Words of recognition and appreciation to a child are like sunshine and rain to a flower.

Don't hide your scars, your stretch marks, your laugh lines, your calloused hands. They are your life story, telling of struggles won and lost, challenges faced, losses overcome, life grown and birthed and nurtured, hard work accomplished, stars reached for, hopes dashed, dreams realized, rock bottoms and mountain tops. They tell the story of your one amazing, awful, beautiful life written in the curves and lines of extraordinary, miraculous, beautiful you.

I'm just a human standing in front of other humans reminding them that we're all human.

Join them in their world when they're little so you'll be welcome in their world when they get big.

Little eyes watch what we do far more than little ears hear what we say. It is how we live, not how we demand they live, that has the most impact on who our children will become.

The job of each generation is to solve more problems than they create and to lift up the next generation to be better than the last. Simply repeating the past does neither.

Every day in a hundred small ways our children ask, "Do you hear me?" "Do you see me?" "Do I matter?" Their behavior often reflects our response.

Forgiving ourselves and learning from our inevitable mistakes transforms failure from a stumbling block into a stepping stone.

What if I told you that what the world needs right now is you - flawed, fumbling, wounded, trying-to-figure-it-all-out you? Because that's exactly what it needs, you know - more velveteen-real people who are a little worn and a little weary, but who bring a whole lot of warm and welcoming and wonderful to life.

Sticks and stones may break bones, but words can shatter souls. Choose carefully the words you say to others. Choose wisely the words you say to yourself. Words have a way of becoming truths we believe about ourselves. And what we believe, we become.

Telling a child that something that matters to them isn't important doesn't convince them it doesn't matter. It just convinces them that it doesn't matter to you and often makes them feel like they don't matter, either. Remember, caring about the little things that matter to little people creates big connections.

Instant obedience and mindless compliance are poor goals, indeed, when raising children. A thoughtfully questioning, passionately curious, and humorously resourceful child who delights in inventing ‘compromises’ and who endlessly pushes the boundaries tends to become a thoughtful, passionate, resourceful adult who will change the world rather than being changed by the world.

Don’t forget to bring your funny bone along on your parenting journey. Humor is a universal language that topples walls, connects hearts, and opens the door to communication and cooperation.

Get up off of your knees. Come out of your churches, your mosques, your temples. God can hear your prayers for peace, justice, and hope in this broken world just fine while you're out creating peace, working for justice, and giving hope to this broken world. When are we finally going to realize that humanity is the solution to inhumanity? When will we finally understand that we are all drops of the same ocean, hurting together, healing together, hoping together? Don't just pray for hands to heal the hurting. Pray with hands that are healing the hurting. Don't just pray for arms to help the helpless. Pray with arms that are helping the helpless. Don't just pray for feet to respond to need. Pray on feet that are responding to need. Don't just pray for someone to do something. Be someone who does something. Don't just pray for answers. Be the answer.

You're going to make mistakes as a parent. It's literally inevitable. You're human, and mistakes are just part of being human. It's how you handle your mistakes that matters most. Acknowledge them. Apologize for them. Make them as right as possible. Learn something from them. And then let them go. It's okay. I promise. After all, how else will our little humans learn that it's okay to be human.

Namaste means that my soul acknowledges yours - not just your light, your wisdom, your goodness, but also your darkness, your suffering, your imperfections. It is a recognition and acceptance of the inexplicable divine absurdity, the miraculous woven into the ordinary, light and darkness intimately entwined in magical, messy humanity. It means that I honor all that you are with all that I am. So, namaste, my fellow travelers. I'm so glad we're on this trek through the universe together.

Our children are children for such a small season of life. Let their laughter ring out, their imaginations soar, their feet stomp in puddles, their hands clap for joy. Too soon they will grow up and out of their youthful exuberance and zest and settle into the life and routine of adulthood.

Gentleness is not weakness. Just the opposite. Preserving a gentle spirit in a heartless world takes extraordinary courage, determination, and resilience. Do not underestimate the power of gentleness because gentleness is strength wrapped in peace, and therein lies the power to change the world.

Music speaks the language of the soul, penetrating into the past and resonating into the future, unearthing pain and tenderness and sorrow and joy, reminding us of our infinite fragility and extraordinary strength, reigniting our dreams and passions once again to remind us of who we are meant to be.

I know the concern over the events in our nation doesn't end at our borders. Because there are no borders, really, if you think about it. Everything we do on this planet has repercussions that reverberate around the world. Because we're connected. We belong to each other. And we need each other. We will get through this. Together. And we'll learn and grow and overcome. Together. I believe the good things in this world outnumber the sad. And I believe the good people outnumber the bad. We are the lights sparkling in the darkness, and our hope and love are going to set the world on fire. I believe in us.

Becoming a parent doesn't make you less of a woman. You matter. Your happiness matters. Your health matters. Your dreams matter. Today do at least one thing for you. Take a walk in the rain. Meet a friend for coffee. Write in your journal. Read a book. Plan a trip. Hug a tree. Help a stranger. Create something. Grow something. Sing something. Learn something. Whatever it is that makes you smile, do a little of it each day. Your children are watching. Let them see you happy.

The Dream I Dream For You, My Child ... I hope you search for four-leaf clovers, grin back at Cheshire moons, breathe in the springtime breezes, and dance with summer loons. I hope you gaze in wide-eyed wonder at the buzzing firefly and rest beneath the sunlit trees as butterflies fly by. I hope you gather simple treasures of pebbles, twigs, and leaves and marvel at the fragile web the tiny spider weaves. I hope you read poetry and fairy tales and sing silly, made-up songs, and pretend to be a superhero righting this world's wrongs. I hope your days are filled with magic and your nights with happy dreams, and you grow up knowing that happiness is found in simple things. The dream I dream for you, my child, as you discover, learn, and grow, is that you find these simple joys wherever in life you go.

Peacemakers who challenge the prevailing concept of peace achieved by violence are often, ironically, called disturbers of the peace. That is only true if peace is defined as an uneasy ceasefire in a world dominated by the corrupt, a tenuous subjugation of the weak by the powerful, a hurting humanity suffering silently en mass for the profit of the bloated few. If, though, peace is defined as freedom, equality, safety, health, opportunity, and a voice for all, then we, the peacemakers, aren't disturbers of the peace. We are purveyors of peace because we are disturbers of the status quo.

Many believe that parenting is about controlling children's behavior and training them to act like adults. I believe that parenting is about controlling my own behavior and acting like an adult myself. Children learn what they live and live what they learn.

I hope you gaze at cloud art galleries against azure summer skies and pause to gasp at rainbows and watch butterflies fly by; I hope wildflowers make you happy and sad songs make you cry and old books stacked in dusty nooks are gems you can't pass by; I hope burnt toast mornings are little things you handle with a smile and midnight talks and starlit walks keep you up once in awhile; I hope laundry warm from the dryer brings a sigh of contentment and front porch swings on cool evenings offer rest when you are spent; I hope your life is light in sorrow and heavy with laughter and you greet each season of your life like a new favorite chapter; I hope you honor every soul you meet and always go that extra mile and when you think of me, my love, I hope it's with a smile.

Night waking isn't the sign of a bad baby. It's the sign of a normal baby. Nighttime needs are as valid as daytime needs and nighttime parenting as necessary as daytime parenting. Crying is communication, not manipulation. Respond to your baby's cries, even if all they need is to know you're there. You're not being manipulated. You're being a parent.

Want to raise kind children? Be kind to your children.

Imagination reveals the possibilities beyond the edges of our reality.

Respond to your children with love in their worst moments their broken moments their angry moments their selfish moments their lonely moments their frustrated moments their inconvenient moments because it is in their most unlovable human moments that they most need to feel loved.

Wars are waged by people who were parented by someone. Crimes are committed by people who were parented by someone. Brutality is inflicted by people who were parented by someone. Nations are led by people who were parented by someone. Hope, help, and healing are all shared by people who were parented by someone. We, the parents of today, are that someone for our children, and our children will one day be that someone for their children. We may not be able to eliminate all war, end all crime, or stop all brutality, but sowing peace, kindness, compassion, and empathy into our children is the single most powerful way we can each be someone who changes the world for the better.

When we encourage new parents to 'treasure these moments because they don't last forever' we need to remember to also reassure them that they will survive these moments because they don't last forever. Parenting is hard, and the struggles can sometimes feel like they overshadow the joys. Knowing that struggling is normal and will pass helps us get through the hard times so we can truly treasure the good ones.

Our lives are our stories, each day a fresh new page, each season a whole new chapter. Our parenting chapters become the beginning of our children's stories in glorious, dog-eared, mud-stained, daisy-chain pages of sunshine-filled days and wish-on-a-star nights and shared struggles and triumphs and tears and laughter. Where their stories go from there is up to them, but where they begin is up to us.

Challenging boundaries is not simply social rebellion. It is the catalyst of social evolution. When systems go unchallenged, they grow complacent and corrupt. Raising generation after generation of rule followers and conformists may be more convenient for society, but it inevitably leads to tyranny and, ultimately, revolution. Raising independent thinkers, conscious objectors, and peaceful activists creates a social balance that can endure. Peaceful parenting, then, by its very nature, is socially responsible because it creates the catalysts of social evolution that protect our society from the complacency and corruption that lead to tyranny and revolution.

It will take just one generation choosing gentle, compassionate, respectful parenting to change the world for all future generations. This is our time. Our chance is now. Let's do our part to change the world, one little heart at a time.

The only way to heal from the pain of the past is to walk through that pain in the present. It's terrifying, I know. It feels safer to just let the pain continue to smolder in the darkest parts of yourself. But the dark parts need tending, too, my friend. Don't be afraid to breathe life back into those embers of old pain, to rekindle the fires of unhealed hurts. The flames aren't there to burn you. They are there to light your way through pain to healing. You can walk through courageous and confident or shaking in your boots. It doesn't matter. Just walk through it. Hurt will transform into hope, wounds into wisdom, suffering into scars that tell of battles won and lost and of a human who survived it all.

You know that moment right after your child says or does something that pushes your buttons? That oh-so-brief moment before you say or do something in response? That is the moment you have a choice... to react or relate, to command or communicate, to belittle or to be an adult. That moment is a gift of time that can make a lifetime of difference. Use it wisely.

Safety, equality, security, and freedom for me are rooted in safety, equality, security, and freedom for every human. Peaceful coexistence on this beautiful planet we share cannot be achieved by warfare. It cannot be achieved by power. And it cannot be achieved by ignoring each others' suffering. We cannot kill our way to peace, oppress others to create to peace, or close our eyes to achieve peace. Peace is the only path to peace. Our humanity is indelibly linked to our treatment of one another. Humane treatment grows humanity. Inhumane treatment destroys humanity. At its roots, humanity is an elegantly simple equation - input equals output.

When you feel small and invisible or stretched-too-thin-and-all-used up, when life feels too hard to live and pain feels too much to bear, when guilt and shame and self-condemnation feel too heavy to carry, go outside and stand barefoot in the stardust-speckled dirt with your face tilted up to the universe and whisper to your wounded heart, 'This is not how my story ends. There is so much more to life than this moment, these hours, this day, this season of my life. It's my story. I get to choose. It doesn't end here;' And then take your pen in hand and write the rest of your gorgeous, shredded, pasted-back-together story however you choose to write it. And remember, you're not alone. We're all writing our own jacked up stories our own way, too. Welcome to our tribe of misfits and outcasts and rebels and dreamers. We are the story-weavers. And we're all on this ride through the galaxy together.

Forgiveness isn't telling someone it was okay to hurt you. It's telling yourself it’s okay to stop hurting. It doesn’t mean you have to trust them again. It means you can learn to trust yourself again. It doesn’t mean you have to give them a free pass back into your life. It means you are free to take your life back again. Forgiveness is simply emptying your past of its power to empty your present of its peace.

Every strength has a corresponding challenge and every challenge has a corresponding strength. The inattentive child may be a deep thinker. The uncooperative child may be a good leader. The emotionally-charged child may be gifted with exceptional empathy. The rule-defying child may be an out-of-the-box innovator. When faced with challenging behaviors, look for the corresponding strength, and focus on nurturing that gift while providing gentle guidance and coping techniques for the challenging areas. That is the essence of working with, instead of against, our children.

Focus more on who your child is than what your child does. Remember, you're growing a person, not fixing a problem.

BIG connections are created when BIG people care about the little things that matter to little people.

True strength is forged in gentleness, guided by wisdom, and steeped in peace.

Parenting our children peacefully is a gift of peace to the world. Children learn what they live and live what they learn.

To need to be seen, to be heard, to be understood, is simply to be human.

The most powerful force on the planet is the soul that has awakened to its purpose.

If life is what we make it, let's make it beautiful.

Healing old hurts can only begin when the children we once were feel safe enough to speak their hearts to the adults we are now.

Instead of raising children who turn out okay despite their childhood, let’s raise children who turn out extraordinary because of their childhood.

Remember, you’re growing a person, not fixing a problem.

People always say, “Choose your battles,” in parenting. Let’s choose peace, instead. After all, our children aren’t our enemies, and childhood shouldn’t be a battleground.

I rise. Again. And again. Not as the morning bird whose song springs to sudden glorious life at the dawning of the light, but as the sun who touches the horizon with tender fingertips before reaching open arms across the sky to embrace another day to weather the storms to stand tall and breathe fire and then to descend into rest until it's time to rise again. And again I rise.

The moment you realize that you aren't creating a cut-and-paste version of yourself, but rather nurturing a stunningly unique individual with thoughts and feelings and hopes and fears and opinions and preferences and plans and interests of their own is the moment parenting becomes an adventure instead of a challenge. It's a simple shift in perspective that creates a world of difference.

Learning together to live well in an imperfect world, loving each other despite or even because of our imperfections, and growing as humans while we grow our little humans, those are the goals of gentle parenting. So don’t ask yourself at the end of the day if you did everything right. Ask yourself what you learned and how well you loved, then grow from your answer. That is perfect parenting.

Growing children with an inner compass that guides their steps toward kindness and compassion and generosity of spirit is far, far and away superior to training children to operate on automatic pilot.

Instead of beating yourself up when you make the same old mistakes again and again, break promises to yourself, or fall into destructive habits, close your eyes and silently whisper through time into your past, "I'm here. I'm listening. What do you need? Where does it hurt? How can I help?" Then listen for echoes of pain and loss and fear and unmet needs. Let yourself feel and experience those emotions as they surface. And then treat yourself as tenderly as you would a sad and scared child. Healing old hurts can only begin when the children we once were feel safe enough to speak their hearts to the adults we are now.

Strength is not a roar of thunder in the heart. That is passion Strength is not a process of logic in the mind. That is reason. Strength is a soul-deep voice that whispers 'keep going' when we feel like giving up.

Healing a hurting humanity starts with a sacred pause, to listen, to learn, to understand, to accept, to forgive, to respect. That sacred pause transcends the fear-driven brutality of the primitive human survival intinct and makes way for a thoughtful, intentional, peaceful, humane response. Peaceful coexistence on this lovely planet is not impossible. It is imperative. Our future, our humanity, our very survival depends on it.

I wish you the sweetness of sticky kisses, the fragrance of muddy bouquets of weeds, the simplicity of macaroni necklaces, the warmth of bedtime snuggles, the promise of beautiful tomorrows. I wish you the hope to carry your heart through the hard times, the grace to forgive your inevitable mistakes, the strength to start again every morning, the wisdom to enjoy the journey. I wish you enough joy and laughter in the present to fill the silence that comes too soon when life grows quiet and rooms grow still and your heart beats in constant prayer for the once-small feet that now choose their own path guided by the whisper of their childhood.

At a time when politics and power decide who is important enough to be fed, to be safe, to be free, those of us who have a voice in this world must speak boldly, loudly, insistently for those who cannot speak for themselves.

...and when the world tells you to lower your head and submit in silence to how things are and always will be, lift your voice instead and sing bravely of how things can and should and will be, because that song is why you are here.

Read thought-provoking books. Give long hugs. Grow your own vegetables. Help a neighbor grow theirs. Grind your own coffee. Take a walk in the sunshine. Talk to strangers. Ask questions. Look deeply into people's eyes. Listen. Listen some more. Go somewhere alone. Listen to your own soul. Make something beautiful. Make something messy. Write a letter. Write a poem. Go to the park. Play with your children. Ask them questions. Listen. Listen some more. Make your life beautiful. Plant flowers. Chase dreams. Smile. Cry. Laugh. Hope. Try. Fail. Try again. And again. Peace and happiness come from you, not to you. Don't seek them. Create them. And then help others to do the same. You get one life. Live it well.

Protecting our children from the cruelty of the world doesn't mean shielding them from the realities of the world. Tell them the truth. Teach them to care. Give them a voice. Prepare them not to withstand the world, but to change the world.

This world is teetering on a knife's edge. Light and darkness. Good and evil. Battling for supremacy. Every light bravely flickering in the deep darkness of inhumanity shifts the balance of the universe toward good. That light is you.

Pain patterns are vicious cycles, unconsciously passed from generation to generation in deeply entrenched behavioral and relational paradigms. They cannot be changed from the outside, only from within. Fear gives way to comfort, pain to healing, anger to peace, despair to hope, only when the heart of a person or the soul of a people feel safe enough to emerge from the hardened shell of self-preservation and become open to new possibilities. A hurting humanity cannot be healed by force, by arguing, shaming, threatening, manipulating. Those merely feed the pain patterns and harden their protective shells. Love, acceptance, empathy, compassion, those are the gentle rain that blossoms hurt into healing, transforming pain patterns into the peaceful flowering of a healthy, heart-whole humanity.

Children are compassionate by nature. Engaging their compassion with communication and connection instead of igniting their self-preservation with threats and punishments is not only more effecting in guiding their behavior, it's also more effective in growing their humanity.

Here’s the reality: “Infants and toddlers are natural night-wakers which has been shown to be protective against SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). Children tend to differ not in whether they wake in the night or not, but in whether they need help being soothed back to sleep or not based on their own unique personality, health, environmental factors, etc. Sleeping patterns are neither a sign of a ‘good’ baby or a ‘bad’ baby, just a normal baby. Even adults tend to wake frequently at night, but typically just roll over or adjust their blankets or take a quick trip to the bathroom and then go back to sleep. They just often don’t remember any of it in the morning! In reality, night-waking is simply a biological norm1 that has been misconstrued as ‘problems sleeping’ or ‘sleep issues’ by the demands of our modern, hectic lifestyle.

Forget that old adage 'forgive and forget.' It's an impossible standard. The human heart never forgets its pain. We can and often do choose to forgive and heal and move on. But the scars remain. Like words pounded out on an old typewriter leave impressions that can never truly be erased, the heart remembers.

When parents respond quickly, consistently, and gently to their baby’s cries, the trust relationship that the parent is establishing becomes the cornerstone for later discipline. Boundaries need to be established for a child’s safety and growth into a successful citizen of our world. A child who is secure in the knowledge that he doesn’t have to fight to be heard or to have his needs met tends to be more open to and cooperative with limits. And, when the limit-setter is a person the child trusts, the enforcement of those boundaries becomes a matter of connection and communication instead of conflict and struggle.

Every coin has two sides. Every mountain has a valley. For every strength there is a weakness. Every up has a down. For every in there is an out. For every height there is a depth. Life itself is a mosaic of light and dark. And every human is a study in opposites, a kaleidoscope of good and bad, positive and negative, hopes and losses, dreams and disappointments, successes and failures, courage and fear, confidence and insecurity, power and vulnerability. We do not live in a homogeneous world. We live in a world of brilliant contrasts, vivid diversity, striking polarity, and eloquent disparity...a stunning array of sometimes gorgeous, sometimes glaring, always fascinating differences.

She is fragile as the morning dew melting in the warmth of a child's smile; stirring at the lonely, lovely waft of a butterfly's wings; tender as the curve of a wildflower petal. She is fierce as a summer storm now raging against the fiery sky; now raining tears to soothe the sun-scorched earth. She is soft as a midnight breeze swaying to the sound of waves breaking on distant shores; whispering comfort to a world steeped in the dark night of inhumanity. She is brilliant as the rising Phoenix lifting the suffering from the ashes; her own suffering woven into wings of fire in the long watches of the night. She is serene and turbulent as the silvered water hiding currents unknown beneath the gentle gaze of a human who has walked a thousand miles and still has more to go.

The ultimate gift we can give the world is to grow our tiny humans into adult humans who are independent thinkers, compassionate doers, conscious questioners, radical innovators, and passionate peacemakers. Our world doesn't need more adults who blindly serve the powerful because they've been trained to obey authority without question. Our world needs more adults who question and challenge and hold the powerful accountable.

The belief that children must be punished to learn better behaviors is illogical. Children learn to roll, crawl, walk, talk, read, and other complex behaviors without a need for punishment. Why, then, wouldn't the same gentle guidance, support, and awareness of developmental capabilities that parents employ to help their little ones learn those complex skills also work to help them learn to pet the cat gently and draw on paper instead of walls?

Children need to know that they matter, that someone in this big, scary, beautiful world thinks that they are the sun, moon, and stars all rolled into one lovable little human. The world will hurt and disillusion them at times, no doubt, but knowing that they are loved beyond measure by someone who's got their back, knowing they are not alone, knowing they always have arms to run to when they're hurt or afraid, will help them to pick themselves up and move on, again and again and again.

Daydreamer, dream on. Never forget that you are a one-of-a-kind, never-before-seen, gift-to-the-world, and you've got a special purpose for being here. Raising children is beautiful and chaotic and wonder-filled, but you'll have a lot of life to live once your children are out of the early stages of intense need for your time and attention. So dream your dreams, and journal your thoughts and ideas, and don't be afraid to embrace the present, secure in the knowledge that your time will come.

Parenting has nothing to do with perfection. Perfection isn't even the goal. Not for ourselves or for our children. Learning together to live well in an imperfect world, loving each other despite or even because of our own imperfections, and growing as humans while we grow our little humans, those are the goals. So don't ask yourself at the end of the day if you did everything right. Ask yourself what you learned and how well you loved, then grow from your answer. That is perfectly imperfect parenting.

Peaceful parenting is not permissive. It is not lazy. It is not idealistic. Peaceful parenting is thoughtful, gentle guidance based on respect for the individuality of humans, no matter how small; knowledge of developmental norms and age-appropriate expectations; acceptance of the imperfections of all humans, parent and child alike, and of life itself; and understanding of the unique personality and needs of each individual child. Peaceful parenting takes intention, creativity, self-control, self-awareness, connection, communication, cooperation, and sacrifice. Peaceful parenting is an investment in a peaceful future.

calmer and more content when being worn14 than when they are left alone, though there is always that unique baby who likes his or her own space. Babywearing, as with all other options for parenting gently, needs to be adapted to suit a little one’s own personality and needs. Some high-needs babies may do better taking naps during the day while being worn, giving mama a hands-free break while still meeting her baby’s needs. Other babies do well being worn after nursing to aid in digestion, reducing gassiness and the incidence of reflux.22 Babywearing also aids in hip health when using a properly designed carrier. The International Hip Dysplasia Institute has warned against excessive amounts of time in car seats, walkers, swings, and other devices that keep babies’ legs extended and pushed together. Their recommendation is for a baby’s legs to be in the ‘frog’ position, with their thighs supported and their knees bent.23 This is the positioning you should look for when shopping for a carrier to wear your little one. (Two Thousand Kisses a Day: Gentle Parenting Through the Ages and Stages) Wearing your baby against your heart, where the slightest tilt of your head brings your smile into focus for your tiny one, is not only one of the most beautiful and bonding experiences

As females, most of us have spent a lifetime being inundated with the message that our worth is inextricably linked to our attractiveness. We are trained from our earliest years to turn a critical eye on ourselves: Are we thin enough? Too thin? Tall enough? Too tall? Athletic enough? Too athletic? Curvy enough? Too curvy? And the list goes on. The ideal of attractiveness is mercurial and capricious, ever-shifting and forever-out-of-reach. It is an impossible ideal by its very nature. And it is a lie. To walk through life with calm assurance, clothed in confidence in our femininity and self-worth, requires that we first recognize and reject the lie that our worth is tied to our attractiveness. We must learn to appreciate and accept the endless array of attributes that make each of us a wonderfully and gorgeously unique human. We must discover for ourselves the truth that our worth lies solely in our existence. That to exist is to be worthy of love and acceptance and fulfillment and companionship and tenderness and happiness. When we can see and accept that our existence is what makes us worthy, we will finally be able to accept our own worthiness, to love our female skin in all of its unique glory, and to walk confidently and comfortably in a world desperate for the love that we can now freely give.

If this past election and our present political, social, and environmental upheavals have done nothing else, they have inspired a new generation of thinkers. From poets to activists to journalists to scholars, the raw and gritty realities we face as a nation and as global citizens are being exposed, dissected, and examined. Freedom of the press, freedom of expression, freedom of speech, and the right to peacefully protest are not the luxuries of a free society, they are the defenders,supporters, and protectors of a free society. They are what make a free society possible. The solutions to our problems will no doubt be lengthy, complex, and difficult, but a generation awakened from the lethal sleep of apathy is a beginning. And that offers true hope for our future.

Humanity is so confusing. We cover anguish with a smile, isolate ourselves when we feel lonely, and struggle in silence while insisting we're fine. What would the world be like, I wonder, if we all felt safe enough to share our hurts and fears and battles with others so we didn't feel so alone? The human experience is not so very different at its roots, after all, no matter where we live on this hope-filled, hurting planet. We all suffer. We all love. We're all afraid. We all hope and dream and try and fail and try again...and again. And we all need to be heard and understood and appreciated. What if we tried being honest for a change? What if we shared our deepest pain and hardest battles and darkest fears with each other? What if we shared our dearest hopes and wildest dreams and proudest successes and most crushing defeats? What would life be like if we humans finally accepted our own perfectly imperfect humanity and admitted that we need each other in this wild, wonderful world?

Parents often have the misconception that setting boundaries occurs when a child misbehaves, but the fact is that the word ‘misbehave’ is misused. Children don’t ‘mis’behave. They behave, either positively or negatively, to communicate. Small children communicate through their behavior because that is the only method of communication they have. Even when they become verbal, though, they still aren’t able to articulate big feelings and subtle problems well verbally, so as parents it’s our role to ‘listen between the lines’ of our children’s behavior to discern the need being communicated. Setting boundaries is not about ‘mis’behavior. It’s about guiding behavior, and guidance is something we provide through everyday interactions with our children. Repetition is the hallmark of the early years of parenting, from the endless tasks of diapering and feeding to the endless explorations of a curious toddler. There is no way, and no point in trying, to make a child stop acting like a child. There are, though, gentle ways to guide a child through the normal developmental stages safely and peacefully. The repetitious nature of boundary-setting in the early years is a bit like washing your hair, “Lather, rinse, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat…” Knowing that and accepting it makes the seemingly endless repetitions, reminders, and redirections a bit easier to handle.

In your most challenging parenting moments, take a deep breath and try to remember that the moment your child is at their most challenging is the moment your child is struggling with the most challenges.

Sometimes life hurts. We suffer. We heal. We move on. But sometimes life hits back. Harder. Lethal in its cruelty. Shattering us into a million glittering shards of pain and loss and anguish. And we suffer, too broken to heal, to become what we once were. So we learn to live with the shards of pain and loss and anguish forever embedded in our souls, and with shaking fingers we piece together the bloody fragments of who we were into a mosaic grotesque in its stark reality, exquisite in its sharp-edged story of the tragic, breathless beauty of a human who survived life. And we move on, often unaware of the light glittering behind us showing others the way through the darkness.

The solution to every parenting problem starts with nine little words: 'I'm here.' 'I hear you.' 'How can I help?' When needs are met through connection, hearts are opened to gentle, respectful, compassionate correction.

The purest worship is to simply love -- to see the image of God in every human; to love them as they are, now they are, who they are -- without demand, without condition, without fear.

The goal of parenting shouldn't be to prepare children to withstand the world, but to grow children who will change the world.

Our humanity is indelibly linked to our treatment of one another. Humane treatment grows humanity. Inhumane treatment destroys humanity. At its roots, humanity is an elegantly simple equation - input equals output.

I don't want to stand before God and tell him that I religiously demanded morality from his children. I want to stand beside God and tell him that I religiously demonstrated love for his children.

The world told you that you had to hide your pain, to be small and quiet, so you wouldn't rock the boat. And you believed. Then one day you saw the silent pain in the eyes of a small and quiet girl in a boat bound for nowhere. And a warrior awoke. You freed the girl from the silent shackles and told her that her story mattered, to tell it deep and wide and loud, to set the boat ablaze with every fierce and fiery word so all the world could hear and heal. And you believed.

If we slow down and take the time to listen every soul we encounter can teach us something new. Wisdom comes in every shape and size and color and language and form imaginable. The only true limitation is our own inability to see and hear and understand the infinite beauty and wisdom of the human spirit, regardless of its packaging.

The strength of a nation rests on its future, and its future rests in the hands of its children. True strength is forged in gentleness, guided by wisdom, and steeped in peace. Growing the next generation with gentleness, wisdom, and peace begins by recognizing that we are citizens of the world, that every human matters, and that our children learn how to treat the world by how we treat them. To be a nation at peace, we must treat all humans peacefully and raise peaceful humans. The only path to peace is peace.

It's okay to slow down, to turn your face to the sun, to breathe deeply under the stars, to rest in a warm embrace. It’s okay to live in the moment when the moment is worth living in, to cry tears of joy or pain or both when life feels too big or too hard, to twirl with arms wide open when you want to feel young and free and invincible again despite age and time and circumstance. It’s okay to feel, to fail, to try, to win, to laugh, to cry, to live, to die, all on your own terms. It’s okay to be wholly and imperfectly you. It’s okay to be human.

Strength is like the wind now raging with the fierceness of a hurricane determined to overcome any obstacle in its path now vanishing into a breath-stealing stillness when life hits too hard and the soul gasps for relief now stirring softly to whisper that it's okay to struggle, to fail, to suffer, to rest because life goes on and strength will eventually rise again to carry us through... just maybe not right now.

Broken children grow into broken adults. To create a more peaceful future, we need to create a more peaceful present for our children. Our world needs more heart-whole adults, not more refugees from childhood.

The purest worship is to simply love -- to see the image of God in every human; to love them as they are, how they are, who they are -- without demand, without condition, without fear.

Beauty is not found in uniformity, nor value in conformity. It is in our colors and quirks and flaws and scars that true beauty and value unfold, because that is where our stories are told.

Healing is not a straight and narrow road that leads from darkness to light. There's no sudden epiphany to take us from despair to serenity, no orchestrated steps to move us from hurting to healed. Healing is a winding mountain road with steep climbs and sudden descents, breathtaking views and breath-stealing drop-offs, dark tunnels and blinding exposures, dead ends and endless backtracks, rest stops and break downs, sheer rock walls and panoramic vistas. Healing is a journey with no destination, because healing is the journey of every lifetime.

As night falls, let the day's troubles slip away into the darkness and rest well knowing tomorrow brings a new day, a new chance to do things better, a new opportunity to make things right. And when the new day dawns, awaken a little wiser, a little older, a little more prepared for the future. That's simply the pattern of life, my friends, a tapestry of light threaded with darkness, laughter threaded with tears, hope threaded with despair, wisdom threaded with failure, insight threaded with regret. It's just how we learn and grow as humans, and that's okay. It's enough to end each day knowing we've done our best and we'll do our best again tomorrow.

Listen instead of lecture. Communicate instead of command. Relate instead of retaliate. Be flexible instead of being fixated on getting your own way. Seek to be part of the solution instead of part of the problem. In short, behave the way you want your children to learn to behave.

They say that music soothes the soul. I think that's true. Sometimes. But other times music stirs the soul, reaching deep and digging up pain we need to process, thoughts we need to wrestle with, fears we need to work through, sadness we need to sit with, loss we need to lay to rest. Music is powerful because it can reach past the guardhouse of the mind, taking on those dragons that jealously hoard the glittering treasure of the human spirit, and set the tortured soul free.

Not coincidentally, the best way to parent a child is the same as the best way to treat other humans... with kindness, respect, compassion, honesty, acceptance, and peace.

No child is born filled with hate. No child is born crippled by fear. No child is born inflamed by rage. Each life is a chance to make things better. Each generation has a chance to do things better. This is our time, our turn, our chance. Let's do better.

Want world peace? Be peaceful. Think the world needs more kindness? Be kind. Want a better world? Be a better person. #wearetheworld

The secret to loving others despite their imperfections is loving ourselves despite ours.

BIG connections are created by caring about the little things that matter to little people

The most effective way to raise a nice child is to be a nice adult.

The word disciple is the root word in discipline, so in a completely literal sense to discipline our children means to disciple them.

But do you really believe that Jesus’ New Covenant is for everyone except children? That grace, mercy, unconditional love, and forgiveness are for adults only? The disciples made that mistake, and Jesus said to them,   “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” Luke 18:16 Five

Learning together to live well in an imperfect world, loving each other despite or even because of our imperfections, and growing as humans while we grow our little humans, those are the goals of gentle parenting.

Connection, Communication, and Cooperation. These three elements, when interwoven with threads of understanding, respect, and love, are what combine to create the beautiful tapestry of a peaceful, happy home.

And, while working cooperatively with our children may take more time and effort, the fact is that inviting cooperation rather than forcing compliance raises leaders instead of reaping followers.

Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things break. And all things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you

Instead of raising children who turn out okay despite their childhood, let’s raise children who turn out extraordinary because of their childhood.” —L. R. KNOST

It’s not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It’s our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.” (L. R. Knost)