Kiana Quotes

She was kahuna, creating more life around her than was actually there, heightening the momentousness of each living thing by simply gazing upon it.

Recognizing who you are is not the subtext of a life. It's the main point.

they threw bricks at me. i turned them into an empire. -look at me now

i never got the chance to thank them. thank you for not being kind. thank you for showing me exactly the type of person i do not want to be.

Don’t forget to love her. The little girl you used to be. Perhaps She lies within you. Untucked. Sleeping peacefully. — “Nurture.” By Kiana Llanos (via purgatory-poetry)

True wisdom listens more, talks less, and can get along with all types of people.

Alizeh was no longer smiling. Her heart was beating so hard she thought it might bruise. "What shall I say, then?" "Your name. I want to hear it from your lips." She took a breath. Released it slowly. "My name," she said, "is Alizeh. I am Alizeh of Saam, the daughter of Siavosh and Kiana. Though you may know me better as the lost queen of Arya." He stiffened at that, went silent. Finally he moved, one hand capturing her face, his thumb grazing her cheek in a fleeting moment, there and gone again. His voice was a whisper when he said, "Do you wish to know my name, too, Your Majesty?" "Kamran," she said softly, "I already know who you are." She was unprepared when he kissed her, for the darkness had denied her a warning before their lips met, before he claimed her mouth with a need that stole from her an anguished sound, a faint cry that shocked her.

you are so strong my dear. you have been through a lot and come out on the winning end. the world has tried to break you, but you never let it. thank your past, for it has made you into a better person today. not everyone you have met is meant to stay around forever.

He thinks of all he has seen and learned: that the universe is indifferent to our human endeavors, that what gives our lives meaning is the passion that invades our hearts and burns in us, and maybe even destroys us.

it’s in the eyes.always the eyes.

some people are better left in the past. - you must leave them there

We love that which we corrupt.

They would no longer be time-bound, that they were free to live in the future, the past, in fantasy. She had been a woman preparing to live, not living.

when they ask you about me, i hope you tell them how i was your most beautiful mistake.

When their voices didn't reach my ears, I rebelled against my own skin too young to realize that without their stories I would starve.

thank the ones who left, the ones who never came back, the ones who freed you from their undeserving grasp. thank the ones who tried to destroy you, but failed. thank the ones who were unkind. thank the ones who only fed you lies. it’s time to say thank you to the ones who never treated you as you deserved. the ones who weren’t even worth your time, it is them who you need to thank. they are the ones who taught you more than anyone else. they are the ones who made you stronger. braver. kinder. they are the ones who helped create you. thank them from the cracked curves of your heart and the jagged edges of your soul. thank the people who hurt you the most. thank them deeply. thank them gently. thank them boldly. thank them repeatedly. never stop thanking them. -thank you, truly

Time, the thing we can't beat back... Yet, time is also what it takes to heal, what it takes for certain memory cells to die. Maybe time doesn't heal. Maybe it doesn't even pass. We pass through time, and come out stunned, so rage, and memory, are blurred.

spend some time with yourself. take yourself on dates. buy yourself coffee and flowers. take yourself on a road trip, blaring your favorite music the entire way. sing in the shower, and dance naked in your bedroom. cook dinner alone. eat alone. sleep alone. learn to truly love yourself. you will find yourself growing in directions you never dreamed possible. your dreams and aspiration will become accomplishments; the world will be placed beautifully at your feet. see, the thing about life is, we must learn to love ourselves before we can even think about loving another. we must be comfortable in our own skin before we crawl into someone else’s.

be proud of everything you have gone through, but mostly, what you’ve become. stop being so hard on yourself. everything will make sense to you one day. all the pain, hurt, and frustration will become worth it. you are perfect in every way, especially with your flaws. acknowledge the things making you different while embracing everything making you unique. even though you think you are broken, there is so much beauty in your pain. also, you’re really not as broken as you think you are. you are stronger than anything that has tried to tear you down. you are a survivor, not a victim. so try not to be so hard on yourself. create a meaningful life for yourself, one you can be proud of. promise me you will make the most of it all. never let anyone get in the way of your goals in life. more importantly, never give up on your passions and your dreams. do not waste your time on people who do not believe in you. only surround yourself with people who encourage and inspire you.

my heart. my instinct. my intuition. my gut. they all knew before i did.

The waves dissolve into foaming petals, reminding me that something so powerful can also be quite fragile at the core.

pretty: what a little word to describe me. intelligent, honest, loyal, creative, eloquent. i’m so much more than my looks.

Common sense. Mothers are the last riddle, the worst horror, the only consolation.

Beware of logic.

She tried to show them how women could do anything, and do it competently. How problems could be worked out if they ignored what people said and did what conscience required.

she’s changed. you can see it in her eyes, feel it in her touch, hear it in her tone. she’s not the same. and she’s never coming back.

We must live. Or what have we suffered for? Will these years have been for nothing?

maybe we should start focusing on saving ourselves instead of saving one another.

don’t fall for me because of my body, or my pretty. appearances fade. fall for me: my brains, my soul, my being. drown in all that makes me who i am, not something as superficial as my looks.

Everything breaks down but desire. And because we are old, doctors try to shame that out of us. Young punks! Lose one's youth, and doctors take it as axiomatic that you've lost your mind, your balls.

you will never be foreign. i’ve seen too much, gone farther than most. your fingerprints are stamped all over my skin. there is no denying you once trespassed here. your footprints left dirt tracks, and i can’t clean up your mess. even though we will never return to the lovers we once knew, our past will stay a part of us. we could never be strangers. i have not forgotten you, and with that, i hope you still think of me.

I keep forgetting were Pono's girls. Maybe we're not suppose to be happy.' 'Then we'll pretend to be,' Rachel said. ' We'll make it a habit, no matter what.' That's all we can do, Jess thought. Live in readiness for whatever comes.

Inside the terminal at Keahole, they sat waiting to board, watching husky Hawaiians load luggage onto baggage ramps. Arriving tourists smiled at their dark, muscled bodies, handsome full-featured faces, the ease with which they lifted things of bulk and weight. Departing tourists took snapshots of them. 'That's how they see us', Pono whispered. 'Porters, servants. Hula Dancers, clowns. They never see us as we are, complex, ambiguous, inspired humans.' 'Not all haole see us that way...'Jess argued. Vanya stared at her. 'Yes, all Haole and every foreigner who comes here puts us in one of two categories: The malignant stereotype of vicious, drunken, do-nothing kanaka and their loose-hipped, whoring wahine. Or, the benign stereotype of the childlike, tourist-loving, bare-foot, aloha-spirit natives.

Will once said each galaxy has about a hundred billion stars. He said that ninety-eight percent of what exists around us we can't even see. Sometimes I let go and float out there, staring back at earth. I lose track of time. Will told me to forget time, that it was relative. He said light was the thing. At the speed of light, time stands still. It's the wild card. It makes things happen. (The Speed of Light)

The diaries also revealed a deeply sensitive, intelligent woman, one who had hoped to start a college for Hawaiian women, affording them the 'same education as men.' She had planned to open a bank for women, enabling them to handle their own financial affairs. She recognized the need for more female lawyers and physicians, the need for women's rights over their bodies, and their destinies. And lastly, though she had a fondness for men, she felt women 'basically didn't need them.

You made me realize that love isn't something that should be earned. And so, I severed myself from the people who held their love above my head. True love is loving all of a person, even the parts that terrify them, and especially the parts they hate. I love you, Lila, for all that you are." A smile overcomes me effortlessly. Not because of the praise, but because he really sees me. As a beauty queen, as a ballerina, and as the Queen of Hell too. Despite my demons, Damien still loves me. He forgives me. Maybe it's time I forgive myself.

We human pioneers of the “great camping trip,” as George Attla would dub it, will remain incorporated, as it were, in the fabric that weaves our history. But what of the four hundred pioneer dogs? Those wonders of God’s creation, who weathered Arctic gales, slept in snowbanks, suffered exhaustion, sore, raw feet, and, to some degree, human ignorance, and neglect. What of them? Leaders Genghis, Kiana, and Sonny. Others, who strained in wheel, team, and swing positions, and at times, in lead as well, were Kuchik, Koyuk, Snippy, Eska, Shiak, Flame, Bandit, Casper, and Crazy. Names listed on a sheet of paper seem such a hollow tribute to twelve of a person’s most loyal, tested friends. And hollow that tribute would be, if all twelve of them were not imprinted indelibly in my heart. Those twelve devoted, steadfast trail companions bestowed upon me the one true adventure of my life. In so doing, they became the pathfinders for all ensuing generations of endurance race dogs. Genghis, Kiana, Sonny, Kuchik, Koyuk, Snippy, Eska, Shiak, Flame, Bandit, Casper, and Crazy—a renewed and heartfelt salute.

Well, with every pirouette, we entrust the weight of our bodies on the tips of our toes, with the promise of them delivering us in cyclones. Our arms, always elegant it may appear, struggle beneath the heaviness our muscles battle to stay fluid. It looks effortless--- every allongé, every piqué as simple as the natural flow of water. But every dance, every move our bodies make, is a war against itself. It's magnificently dangerous. Like... blooming into an ocean. That's what it feels like. An ocean. Deep and rich all-encompassing, drowning out everyone in our presence. They sink into the moment, succumb to every movement, and simply just admire.

The offshore north wind built to a gale force. My poor dogs. They would hit a wind-polished spot, loose traction, and literally get rolled into a knot, requiring a frustrating untangling, under something lessthan good picnic conditions. Other times, away would go the sled skidding sideways, with me firmly attached, until it struck an immoveable drift or a crusted snow patch, and over I went, taking the entire team with me, ending, one time, a half block off the trail. Wha, storm. What an experience. Blinding and, at times, breath-sucking Dangerous, scary, but exciting and exhilarating at the same time. One remembrance I have kept—all these years—is thankfulness for the relatively mild temperature at the time. And another is an absolute, set-it-in-concrete admiration for my dogs. In the course of many untangles I rearranged my front end. Genghis, my old faithful, went in front with Kiana. Bandit was placed back in swing. We went. In spite of roll! overs, roll-ups, wraparounds, and tangles, we went. And even when a couple of males—Kuchik and Casper—repeatedly attempted to dive behind snowdrifts, out of the punishing tempest, we went. How gratifying it was to witness my years of training pay off. Uncounted hours: back on Kenai Lake and Resurrection River flats, driving this never-say-die team head-on into fiendish, violent snowstorms.

I love the commanding tone of your voice and how it falls in gentle rhythms. I love how you dance like the waves and pull me in with your tide. You're every ounce as beautiful as the sea and every bit as wild. You have no idea the extent how vibrantly you glow, but perhaps you're learning. And I love that. I love you." A flutter in my chest multiplies, blooming and blooming and blooming, like the kaleidoscope in my dream. Only this time, it doesn't shatter. It holds me there in that rose-gold glow. I burst, but in a way that's expansive, not destructive. I leap forward, pressing my lips to his, obliterated by the dew-damp softness. His eyes widen as he pulls away. I gape at him, flushed. "I---I'm sorry." He hesitates, but then he pounces, drawing me towards his embrace and crushing my open mouth. It happens so fast. He grabs me by the thighs, welling up my skirt as he carries me out of the water. My fingers curl through his hair, and novas explode as he slips his tongue onto mine. He holds me tighter, kissing me over and over again like repeating a melody. It's as natural as language, as wild as the roaring sea. We fall to the ground, and a bed of flowers blossoms beneath us, pale pink and soft. The velvet petals tangle in my hair as he presses into me--- skin on skin, blooming with wild heat. We fold into each other, our arms coiling like serpents, my fingers tracing his body. He pulls away for just a moment, but only to study me like the rarest opal, admiring my every color and curve before kissing my lips--- sweet and soft and slow. We repeat the motions in a ritual that's only our own. I try to catch my thoughts, but they're all tangled up . Though, there's one thing I know for sure. Through my unsteady breathing, I whisper, "I love you, too." Despite what the Devil thinks, I am capable of love, and I won't let him win, not now. Damien and I collapse into the damp petals, surrendering to the night.

Fanning my arms to the side, I draw my pointe shoe forward. As I make my way towards the sea, more twinkles of music unfurl with each step, adding to the present melody. I take a breath, mustering the courage to walk on water. An aquamarine ripple flecked with golden stardust flickers to life beneath me, glowing brightly. I drag my other foot forward. The ocean sparkles, as if accepting the magic I offer. When I find comfort on the water, I relevé--- bringing myself onto pointe. My arms extend in a port de bras, and I begin a series of quick bourrée steps. A ribbon of stardust unravels from my feet, kissing the ocean with that glittering aqua glow. I embrace the beauty I've created, tilting into an arabesque. When I send my arm into the sky, the night illuminates. Stars explode like a shimmering tapestry woven from my body. I smile--- proudly owning the stage--- or in this case, the sea. I ignite the ocean with a piqué manège before leaping into a grand jeté, sending shooting stars as I fly. When I land, I fall into a series of chaîné turns before transitioning into more bourrée steps. Every move leads me closer and closer to Damien. The emptiness between us disappears as I leap into his arms. He lifts me towards the sky, moonlight showering us, before I fall into a fish dive--- my face towards the sea and my legs swept into the air. I glide my fingertips through the water, painting even more color into the night. The ocean radiates with undernotes of jade and lavender, shimmers of bright cyan and pearl. He gently places me down, guiding me into a pirouette. I tether my vision to his as the symphony of the sea blooms into a crescendo. Together, we burst into an allegro--- our own medley of fast, brisk movement. I surrender to his familiar hands around my waist, feeling weightless as he lifts me, as if I'm becoming an angel myself. Damien gives me wings, and I fly across the ocean. The once-black waves have transformed entirely. Plumes of stardust swirl like milk in water, feathering out into a soft iridescence.

I wanted to be recognized in the stories I loved so badly. With ballet, it doesn't matter where you come from. It matters how good you are." "That's why you trained so hard." "Yes, but it wasn't just that." Before things were bad, my mother used to ask why I was so drawn to the sea. I told her that although the sea is dangerous beneath the surface, people still find beauty in it from above. It's still something to be adored, even if it is usually only ever loved at a distance. That's why I loved performing. For a moment, I could just be admired. Not a danger to everyone around me. Like the sea, I have a tendency to destroy things. Beautiful things. Sacred things. The sea takes things she loves--- like coral or shells--- and obliterates them to sand. I've always told myself she doesn't mean to; it's just the way she is. She can't choose when the hurricanes roll in or when the tsunamis rise. They flow out of her as they should. Maybe even in ways she doesn't understand. Ballet makes me feel like the ocean--- silently unfurling with all the rage I've buried deep down, yet still manifesting in something beautiful. For those few moments, with all eyes on me, I'm heard. Ballet tells stories, and this is how I tell mine.

They had left the mountains and entered the world, and he became a predator. She had survived by playing dead.

She had walked on ahead as blue-grey stippled waters had appeared through the trees, and she crossed a gravel track to rest against an old brick wall overlooking the bank. Downriver was a weir, the faint rush mixing with the birdsong from the wood. The sun had gone in while they were amongst the bluebells, and the atmosphere was muted, the waters moving slowly and quietly. When he joined her they took in the serene scene. “I have done bad things too, you know” she said.

I know bad things happen,” she said in a voice that seemed smaller now, sadder. “But if we only ever focused on the bad things, they’d swallow us up.

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You're wrong! [This world] sure isn't all sunshine and rainbows, but there are people who've taught me to never give up. They've been guiding me and showing me all the beautiful things in the world. I love them, and I love what they love. We're connected by this sword. It will burn up the darkness to make way for light! This will be our path back home!

He talks to me about cars, to Barnstorm about sports, and to Mateo about Game of Thrones. He talks to Elaine—I guess car dealers don’t worry about being head-butted down stairs or tossed into garbage dumpsters. He talks to Kiana about practically everything. He asks Rahim’s opinion on the art for new ads for Terranova Motors, and Rahim never so much as yawns when he’s around.

Love can never make you a victim when faith makes you a warrior.

The Atlantic pulls at my heartstrings, as fondly as a bouquet of jasmine blossoms tied up in a bow. I fall before the rising waves, collecting the pearlescent seafoam. It's sacred, just for me, like a gift from a lover or my dearest friend. When I was little, I used to run into the Pacific for a moment of peace. It scared my mother silly watching her only daughter dive into the water's wrath. But I adored the sharp cold, the strength of the undertow, the reckless rush of the currents. The ocean could never hurt me. We were one. We still are, no matter how far from home I've come. My mother always said that, like the sea, I was chaos incarnate.

A burst of florals hypnotizes me towards the cottage. Sweet peas and moonflowers press through the porch's warped wood panels. I make my way up the whitewashed steps, and a velvet orchid wrapped around the banister tickles my hand. Twinkling sea glass wind chimes wreathed with roses send a shiver down my spine as I grip the tarnished doorknob, hopeful that this place will become familiar soon. After all, it is my home now.

A bell chimes as I open the door. It's even more magical inside than out. Spools of ribbon hang from the walls like the atelier of a fairy queen. Tiny jasmine buds lace through the curls of a crystal chandelier. Dresses fill the curves of antique wardrobes, as if this were a princess's closet and not a store. A group of girls squeal as they browse the gowns. They've dressed almost otherworldly, so unlike the yoga pants and sweatshirts I'm used to in San Francisco. Instead, they're ornamented in seafoam trousers made of silk, lace corsets with ruffles across the bustier, satin slips with rose embroidery. They wear seashells in their hair and around their necks--- an iridescent mollusk held together by a string of pearls, an abalone claw clip that flashes different colors beneath the light, pukas threaded between pastel sea glass.

The diamond chandelier casts a warm glow across the shimmering silk dresses, spinning into romantic colors. Rich bright gold, soft blush, and glittering champagne.

Angels waltz around like in one of my daydreams, glitter-dusted as the faeries I was warned about as a child. They're mystic, with spindly limbs and gossamer hair and skin that glows. Their wings unfurl behind them, some gilded and others adorned with pale pink shimmer. They flutter across the flower-filled glade, twirling like falling feathers. A few of the angels thread starlight into garlands or coax the flowers to bloom. A train of them braid baby's breath into one another's hair. Others lay fruit in front of what looks like shrines--- seashells brimming with water and floating petals that gleam with reflections of the moon. It's like something out of a storybook. Lanterns are strung between the evergreens, casting their light over a long table. On top of a silk tablecloth, candelabras drip with wax and flowers are strewn about--- cerise roses, vibrant marigolds, velvet violets, and pale bluebells. Fresh fruit spills out of a giant shell like a cornucopia--- mangoes, peaches, guavas, champagne grapes and deep red cherries. Dark wine fills crystal cups. Rose-jam tarts with wild raspberries and hibiscus petals pile alongside tea cakes piped with custard and sugared primroses. In the center of the feast is a roasted duck glazed with honey and decorated with slices of pineapple. The smell of buttered potatoes lingers in the air, fragrant with hints of rosemary and garlic.

He draws the fruit towards my mouth, the nectar spilling over his hand. My lips part as I go to take a bite. The honey-sweet juice coats my tongue with a satisfying tang. My head falls back as I indulge, nectar dripping down my neck. The flesh of the fruit is radiant. It shimmers like the angel's skin. His skin. I realize I'm touching his skin. Velvet and dripping in juice. Velvet and full of heat. Smooth. Shimmering and smooth. Firecracker freckles burst on his flesh, bumps of chills and shivers, yet he's still warm. Velvet and cashmere and heat. The euphoria has already begun.

We turn weightless as we weave between the trees, all movement effortless as if we're floating. Pink and lilac light radiates off my body, tingling as his skin meets mine. I drape my arms around his neck. He's lovely, brimming with an unnatural brightness--- radiant--- like an angel. I smile. He stumbles back, a crooked look on his face shattering the moment. My heartbeat quickens. "What's wrong?" "Lila, are you doing this?" "Doing what?" He spins me around. "This." Gold-kissed magnolias blossom on the trees, multiplying before my eyes. Bright pink roses and coral-colored dahlias sprout from the ground. The buds hum faintly, a sweet sound that swirls around us in glitter. The roses blossom until they're full and round, shimmering with a faint iridescence.

With a deep breath, I extend my arms, beginning with an adagio, syncing with the melody of the flowers. When I find comfort in the rhythm, I dip into a cambré, sweeping my body into a whirlpool as I rise. I hesitate as plumes of color emerge from the ground, encompassing me in a veil of fuchsia, amber, and gold. The colors gather me, and I move with them like the language of fire--- hot, quick steps, languid and elegant. The forest begins to change, and my eyes widen. When I began my bourrée steps, foxgloves sprout like lace-crafted trumpets, marrying the sound of blooming hibiscuses, rattling like tambourines. With every step I take, more flowers grow, kissing the earth with their velvet lips. I almost swear I hear the ground sing back, harmonizing with the forest's song. I guess the angel was right. With a glimmer of confidence, I burst into a grand jeté, and golden hummingbirds mimic me, tracing my every move as I dive into a piqué manège. Damien's eyes glisten, and it fills my spirit.With every chassé, the forest unravels in color. Fireflies come to life and kiss my cheeks, circling my body in a lattice as I pirouette. New colors rise from the ground--- topaz, lazuli, and chartreuse--- dancing with me like my own ensemble, I transition into my fouettés, leaning into an arabesque, as if to touch the rising moon. I lose all sense of self, leaping into the air. My body transcends into a wind-like creature, moving wildly with mild grace. New life sprouts, as if this world belongs to me and not the angels. Tiny stars emerge in a trail behind my feet, and I climb them like stairs. Damien smiles. I reach for his hand and lift him onto the steps. His hands wrap around my waist, and together we spin higher into the sky. My grip around his shoulders tenses as we rise closer and closer to the Heavens. I can feel Luna radiating over me. I'm in command. Here, I'm free. I wish I could hold on to this moment forever.

Isn't everything cuter heart-shaped?" Roisin asks, gesturing towards the homemade pizza we constructed. She chose to be creative, selecting a pesto base, topped with lavender goat cheese and grilled peaches. Something about her playfulness relaxes me. There's an innocence as she sprinkles cheese into her mouth and leaves handprints on the counter with her powdered palms. It reminds me of being a kid, when things weren't so scary and we could just have fun. That time in my life hadn't lasted long. I always wanted to please my parents. They made sure everything I did was done with heart, and I was cautious not to disappoint them. But being with Roisin reminds me we can still create something while having fun. "You know," I say, "I think heart-shaped cookies would be extra cute with this heart-shaped pizza. Don't you think?" She squeals. "Oh, I love that idea!" In between licking the spoon and adding extra teaspoons of vanilla, I draw kitten whiskers on Roisin's face with the flour. She tosses a handful of powder at me, and I squeal when it hits me in the face. We laugh, sinking onto the hardwood floor. I lean my head against her shoulder as the smell of cinnamon intensifies. We relax for a moment beneath the hot sweet air.

Sea-foam tumbles onto the shore, claiming me gently in the way I've always craved. The ocean gathers me, carrying me over the surface like Cleopatra--- and I, every ounce as lovely as her and Aphrodite combined. Bit by bit the water swallows me, gently nipping at my skin until I dissolve into an aquatic spirit. Only then do I understand the language of angelfish and squid, and I move just as languidly. The sirens gape at me with their jewel-bright eyes and try to steal me as their own. But before I can be taken by those curious witches, I rise to the surface again. Everything glimmers here. I embrace the dusk with a hopeful smile. The sky blends into a watercolor of pastels and ambrosial stars. It's an aurora borealis of magenta and lavender, tempting me into the forest and away from the safety of the shore. Something's in the wind. I can feel it--- like the twinkling stars will finally lead me to the love I desire. I want it more than anything. The thought of it turns me feral, like a vampiress thirsty for a drop of blood. I dart through the forest, trailing a path of golden light. Past the evergreens and pines, underneath the moon, I become wild and free. Sweet summer fruit grows from trees, ripe and sparkling. With every cautious step I take, the flowers blossom. But they don't just grow. They glow. Ultraviolet irises, sugar-dusted peonies, and iridescent rosebuds unravel beneath my feet. Foxgloves bloom like trumpets, playing a regal procession beside twinkling bluebells. As I journey deeper into the forest, fireflies circle me, illuminating my path. And then I see him. I blink. He's awfully familiar, but I can't place my finger on who he is. He's beautiful. A boy with white-blond hair and viridescent eyes. Where have I seen him before? "Hello, Lila," he says. I stumble back. "How do you know my name?" He's peculiar. So unbelievably enchanting. I'm enthralled by the sound of his voice alone. "Don't be scared. You're safe here. I wanted to bring you somewhere special. Somewhere where you can make the forest beautiful with your dance." My dance. Of course, my dance. Witchlight flickers in his eyes. This world is meant for me. A gift wrapped up in velvet petals and sweet perfumes.

An assortment of tea and sweets is laid out. Only the owner of Petals Tea Shop could arrange such a charming display. A smattering of preserves and jams in heart-shaped dishes are nestled between the crooks of crumpets, scones, and other pastries garnished with lavender. Laina grabs a Danish with buttercream frosting dripping from a flaky crescent roll. Crumbles of brown sugar tumble off as she takes a bite. I pour a dash of cream into a teacup. The milk feathers out like a lotus blossom. In China, where my father is from, the lotus symbolizes honesty, goodness, and beauty.

My eyes bloom as I meet a silk as smooth as water. It shines like a pool of opals. The connection is tender and romantic, like how the feeling of summer swelled up within Romeo when he first laid eyes on Juliet. She was beautiful, as fair as their beloved Verona. And here, this dress reminds me of all the loveliness of Luna Island. It's hand dyed soft colors--- blush and blue, lilac and lemon--- like a sunset sky above island waters. A blue sash cinches the waist, and the bow in the back fans out into multiple ribbons, each one a color featured on the dress. Labyrinthine embroidery coils into rose-like shapes, and ruffled sleeves remind me of cream puff shells.

I smooth my hands over the punch-stained ruffles, taking a deep breath. Persephone is still Persephone even in the winter, I remind myself. And I am still Lila even though my dress is stained. Even though I fell onstage. Even though I was banished because of it. I am still Lila. And as Lila, I descend. The crowd erupts in a roar. They holler and cheer and throw just as many flowers as they did for Roisin. Roses, marigolds, and violets hit the glossy marble steps like confetti. Their applause floods me, turning me full, just like it did when I took my final bows onstage after a show. I throw on my best smile, waving like the pageant queen I pretend to be. Roisin howls, screaming my name with the crowd. The praise goes to my head. It's like I'm the Queen of Hell, like Persephone herself. And, as I reach the final step, I re-emerge into spring.

I turn to the full-length mirror ornamented with intricate golden appliqué. The bodice contours my body wonderfully, its sheer fabric extenuating my every arch and dip, with pearls perfectly concealing the parts of me otherwise indecent to expose. Jasmine blossoms ascend the skirt and billowing sleeves, which are as thin as water. I feel like a princess of the sea, held in the most delicate curl of sea-foam. I slowly run my hands down the pearl detailing, imagining a version of myself worth loving--- me as a bride before I say I do, the moment heaven is promised forever.

Is it so much to want to be seen?" He hesitates, before saying, "I notice you. And you shouldn't be ashamed for wanting the spotlight. It's already yours." As much as I don't want to condone the cliché poetry of his words, I can't help but smile. "You're enough." His voice is sharp when he says it. "Don't ever forget it." I meet his eyes, and to my surprise, I do feel seen. Something within me softens, turning my cheeks warm. Maybe it's my glacier of a heart melting down. I untangle my folded arms, welcoming Damien closer. His fingers stroke my throat, rousing a shaky breath. I lean closer, and his lips part wider. The whole world stills, all thoughts fading as I graze the wetness of his bottom lip.

The sun descends as I make my way into the forest, sapphire hues painting the night like a jewel. Lanterns flicker in the distance, guiding me forward. The spread Amelia has set up is illuminated by tall magenta candles bathing the table with a rosy glow. In the center, there's a tiered cake with vanilla frosting, decorated with pink pansies, marigolds, and violets. Beside it is a summer salad with juicy peaches, soft cheese, and pitted cherries--- a perfect pairing to the bruschetta topped with diced tomatoes. Different fruits are scattered across the table, sliced open to show off their vibrant innards--- blood oranges, figs, and plums. Everyone is dressed in white with bright flowers crowning their heads. Carmella pours sangria into crystal cups while Yvette helps Amelia string more lights in the trees. Roisin is seated beside Serena, adding tiny braids into her hair and placing daisies between the plaits.

Her dress blooms around her like a jellyfish moving through water as she twirls around the room. The iridescent pink underlay catches the light beneath layers of pale peach tulle. Delicate magenta flowers cascade from her left shoulder, falling across the bodice.

Back at home, I slip into a milky bath perfumed with chamomile and honey. Lemon slices and flower petals float on the surface of the water. The steam relieves my pores, turning my skin supple and dewy. I light a rose-scented candle, allowing the sweet fragrance to mingle with the herbal steam.

After perfuming my neck with lychee and fig oil, I touch up my barrel curls and apply a fresh coat of lip gloss. As I stare at my reflection, I almost believe I'm the angel I masquerade as. My skin shines like opals, the iridescence catching the fullness of my lips and the high points of my cheeks. Coalescing down to my waist are ribbons of black hair, perhaps my favorite feature about myself. Though my mother has always loved my eyes the most--- upturned and narrow, blooming with feathered lashes. I, for one, have always been frightened by them. Some would mistake their red-honey color for brown. But in the light, they glint with a tint of ruby. Like devil eyes. I shut them. No more ocean of a girl. At least not tonight.

We decorate the heart-shaped snickerdoodles in pink and lilac frosting, topping each one with a tiny rosebud. Roisin brews a pot of passion fruit tea, sweetening it with honey before pouring it over a glass of ice and coconut milk. It turns a cloudy purple color. "This is a specialty at Petals Tea Shop," Roisin says. "Your auntie Laina named it the Midnight Rose Garden. It's one of my favorites." "It's wonderful," I say, taking a sip. It reminds me of family trips I used to take to Hawaii. My parents always said I was such a happy kid and didn't know what went wrong as I grew up. The passion fruit spilling over my tongue transports me back to placid waters--- ones that never whispered. The kind of waves that turtles call home and coral reefs burn bright. The same waves that culled my sunburnt shoulders, kissing my welted flesh and telling me I was okay. I was safe here. The water was safe. With Roisin, I am safe.

I make my way back over to the refreshments table, and with shaky hands, I lift the punch bowl in the air. My eyes squeeze shut as I pour its contents over my dress, staining it red like Carrie White's or Jennifer Check's on prom night. Gasps break out at the sound of the splash. Punch seeps into the pale pink fabric, darkening the chiffon roses. The spill feathers out in fissures, bleeding out like blooming tie-dye. "Lila!" Roisin cries. Amelia throws her head back, laughing. "Wow! A plot twist. The outsider is also a freak." I lower the bowl, steadying my breath. One stain is considered an imperfection. An entire spill is artwork. Persephone didn't become less lovely just because she was dragged to Hell. Carrie was still prom queen. And Jennifer... well, Jennifer was still Megan Fox. The point is, it's not about the dress we wear. It's about how we carry ourselves in it.

I follow her pointed finger to a mannequin wearing a wedding dress made for a goddess of the sea. As I get a closer look, the thin white fabric reflects a golden sheen, layered with an organza decorated with chiffon-spun jasmines stitched to the bottom that trail upwards into evanescence. A mosaic of pearls glistens across the bustier, pale pink and green in the light.

He circles the shrines, scanning each of them. There's one made in exclusively soft shades of pink, with a bouquet of blush roses at the center. It's surrounded by oysters, each one nestling a pearl. Smooth, heart-shaped rose quartz surrounds the perimeter in a perfect circle. Sliced guava reveals its rosy flesh, next to clamshells full of cherry blossoms. Another is built from a large shell in the center, filled with water that reflects the moon. White magnolias float on the surface, along with golden glitter that sparkles like starlight. Oranges with long stems and blossoms surround the shell, paired with sliced mango drizzled with honey. I swear I know who some of these belong to. The one with green grapes and pears decorated with golden butterfly appliqué must be Genevieve's. Beside it is one crafted from fuchsia carnations and obnoxiously large peonies, with different berries in porcelain dishes painted with bright pink flowers. So obviously Amelia's.

The dining room has been transformed into a fairy garden this evening. Flowers are strewn across the long table--- magnolias, anemones, and roses--- paired with hydrangea-and-peony centerpieces. Long taper candles flicker over the display, complemented by the remaining sunlight. A feast sprawls out from one end of the table to the other, a medley of some of my favorites--- crab cioppino with bright tomatoes and red wine, garlic bread flecked with parsley, linguine and clams swimming in broth, seared abalone presented in its opalescent shell, fresh oysters on a bed of ice.

You're sensational. You were born sensational. The Devil can't take that away from you, and you shouldn't let him. I vow to protect you. Wherever you go, whatever you do, I'll be there to watch over you. I'm your guardian angel, from here on out, forevermore." We breathe in sync, our bodies entwined, his chest beating against mine. His vow of protection seeps into my heart, and I don't fight it. I'm too tired. And so, I say, "Take me away from here, angel.

He has all the beauty of an angel--- a chiseled face and a faint glow. But there's something wrong about him. A rawness that never melted down. His smile is crooked, forged by a false sense of happiness. Though, he is undeniably enthralling. Golden hair and sharpened bones. Fox-like eyes that trail my body as if it's for show. Silently undressing me. Ready to pounce. In another world, I might have let him. I smile, fawning naivety as he takes a step closer. His red lips part with a grin as he brushes a weft of hair over my shoulder. I shiver as he trails my bare skin. His touch is delicate, careful not to startle me as my breathing hitches. Slowly, his fingers trace the vulnerable part of my throat, grazing gently instead of drawing blood. He's careful in his movements, taking his time, awakening my senses until I let out a kitten cry. His hand perches beneath my chin. Our eyes lock, trapped in honeyed heat, as his thumb strokes the fullness of my bottom lip. "You're immaculate," he says. His voice is lush and dark. I tense, trying not to tremble as his tether possesses me. It becomes harder when he whispers, "I have never seen such a beautiful girl." Electric shovers rattle my bones. My knees slacken, and he stabilizes my balance. I refuse to give him the upper hand. I press my palm against his chest, grazing right where his blouse parts. My eyes turn doe-like with wonder, honoring his beauty and tending his fragile ego. "Are we to be married now? I can't wait a moment longer." He grins. "Soon, coquette." I move my hand up to his neck. Not slow and delicate like he was with me. But feral, delicious, wanting. "I need you." I nearly pant. That's it. That's enough to make him tick. He drinks me in like nectar, a sweet ambrosia brewed just for him. "Come," he says, offering his arm.

With a wicked smirk, I part the Devil's lips. He invites me eagerly with want, drinking me in like salted chocolate, savoring my blood on his tongue. He thinks he has me. My muscles tense when he weakens, my power growing as his desire burgeons. It shifts too suddenly. I gasp as he grabs me by the waist, pulling me firmly against his body. His hand coils around my neck, lifting my lips to his. My eyes shut instinctually, tasting the blood and honey on his tongue. The taste deepens, layered like spiced sangria. I want more. I want it so much, it consumes me. I press into him harder. He's ravenous, squeezing me, threading his fingers through my hair, ruining my curls. No. My eyes burst open, but I don't shatter his fantasy. Not yet. I come up for breath as his lips find their way to my neck. I tilt my head back, glancing at the stained glass ceiling. The upper hand is mine again when I push him against the stone wall, furiously feeding him kisses to satiate his hunger. He grabs my leg, pulling it around his waist. I balance myself against the cave, and with my touch, crystals start to sprout. Citrine, ruby, and amber. They form into points, my own glittering weapons. Once they're not long enough, I snap a piece off. The Devil mistakes my destruction as rapture. I play into it further. Grabbing him by the collar, I spin us away from the wall, continuing our tango over to the balcony. Wisps of my gossamer gown pool around my thighs as he explores me. My fingers twist into his hair, pulling, stringing up his appetite until he begs for more. And, once I have him truly at my mercy, I jab the crystal straight into his back.

We're not our worst enemies. That's what Damien said too. How lucky am I to be in the presence of such grace? Life is more beautiful when we let go of the hate, the anger, the pain. It frees room for tenderness. And here, tonight, the girls collect it like a ritual bath they dive headfirst into. Finally, it washes us clean. It's Amelia and Yvette, running through the grass as they chase fireflies. It's how Carmella sets the table with a rose on each plate, a special offering for each of us. It's the way Roisin and Serena devour fresh fruit, letting the juice drip down their chins and stain their white dresses as the sun disappears and crickets come alive. It's the butterfly that lands on the table. The slight breeze in the trees. How the world stills and all the girls smile.

We break off into the streets, repairing the cobblestones with our brisk allegro. The townsfolk step aside in awe as my allongés stitch the pastel wood back into cottages and storefronts. Flowers grow from my quick bourrée steps, breathing life back into Luna Island in shades of pink and purple. Rainbows rise from the sea with my grand jeté, summoning the dolphins to leap alongside our dance. Damien catches me in his arms before lifting me into the air as I paint the sky bright blue. We laugh as the beauty of Luna Island blooms once again, running into the forest and turning the ash into lush green trees. Color bursts in the darkness as we chassé through the angels' village and past the glade where our story first began. With my pirouettes, I add extra pink petals to the garden where Damien and I once lay. I break into a series of chaîné turns as we make our way back down to the beach, unleashing the magic Luna bestowed upon me. The townsfolk watch in awe in the midst of the commotion, and I dust them in a veil of starlight that follows my path, healing bruises and stitching wounds until no one bleeds. They gather around me as I finish my dance, thrumming with applause and tossing the freshly spun flowers at my feet.

You're coming to France with me?" He shakes his head, turning to face the horizon. "I'm going to see the world. But I'll always make the trip for a dance with you." I lift a brow. "Will you, now?" He puffs out his chest. "Hey, you're never going to find a better pas de deux partner than me. Besides, what we have together is magic. Literally." I smile. "I suppose you're right, angel." He smirks, taking me in his embrace and dipping me over shimmering water. As the sun glimmers against the waves, we share one last kiss before the starlit sea.

Betty returns in a couple of minutes, setting down our pots of tea and two towers of treats. There are small tea cakes dressed as mini presents, tarts in the shape of flowers, chocolate-covered strawberries sprinkled with edible pearls, macarons decorated with pressed violets, and a tray of scones accompanied by tiny finger sandwiches. She explains each tea before leaving us to indulge. Aphrodite's Ambrosia--- a blend of caramel, rose hips, white chocolate, and raspberry. Midsummer Moondrop--- a confection of violets, butterfly pea flower, and sugar plums. I lift the porcelain cup to my lips, hand painted with tiny cornflowers and gold leaf. The sweet, dark blend relaxes my muscles like a dreamspell.

Damien swims to me slowly before cradling my body, sending twinkles up my veins. "It's true," he says. "You really are magic." A warm glow rouses in my cheeks. The ocean glimmers like a reflection of the Milky Way. I study Damien's face in the twilight. No one's ever believed in me the way he does. When I'm with him, he resurrects a version of myself I thought was dead. With a kiss, I'm confident I could lift the stars from the sea, ascending the illusion as our own stairway to the sky. I feel the power running through me, as if my magic is multiplying. It wouldn't take much to transcend this tapestry to the Heavens.

The entire town comes together in comradery for the Blood Moon, with most shops giving away free gifts to everyone who passes by. Clair De Lune Bakery passes out lychee mooncakes, reminding me of my childhood celebrating the Lunar New Year. Petals Tea Shop hands out sachets of white peony tea and jasmine blossoms. Luna's Love Shack tosses free ribbons out at the front of the store, embroidered with metallic stars and moonflowers. A French restaurant, La Vie en Rose, offers moon water in polished wine glasses to anyone who stops to look at their menu. Some flower stands even hand out moonflowers for free instead of selling them.

I sit down, placing the basket Laina gave me onto the table, and take in the spread before us. All of it is bright pink. Hibiscus and rose hip tea, Persian Love Cake with sugared petals and green pistachios, strawberries-and-cream finger sandwiches, peach macarons with raspberry jam, and guava shortbread.

I was wrong. I'm not fire and I'm not Hell. I was always like the sea. Only, in ways I didn't realize before. I used to think the sea was a beauty to admire but not to touch, that below the surface, there was only violence, destruction, and chaos. But that's not true. The sea is also a life source. Instead of burning out, being made to feel like shells of ourselves emptied against our will, what if we took the pain and made it beautiful? We are art. Living, breathing art. Whatever makes us special still lives within us all.

A pas de deux is more than just a partnered dance. Two souls. One body. Entwining together and weaving a story--- evoking a sensation, a memory, a thought. I shut my eyes, remembering how Damien laid me upon the petals and joined his soul with mine. In the heat of summer, he vowed to love me, and we became a part of each other. We separate, taking our places across the sea. The tension pent up inside my body slips away as the darkness spills into the water. My dance was always powerful, even when I'm imperfect and fragile and completely surrendered. I know that now. I fall into my adagio, weightless. Technique no longer matters. Instead, I'm passive to the waves, allowing the current to spin me in pirouettes. The darkness fans out, blooming like a flower. As I lunge into an arabesque, my fingertips release a nebula. Stars explode across the darkness and create my own galaxy. I fall into a piqué manège, birthing stardust strokes. With quick bourrée steps, constellations sprout across the sea. The water illuminates as I leap into a grand jeté, sending shooting stars as I fly. The sirens coo, and I welcome them to join me. They spin tendrils of gold into the darkness, using their fish tails like paintbrushes. As they circle me, the ragged dress I wear transforms into a glittering gown, reflecting rainbows when hit by the light. Finally, I embrace the angel I always was. Filling the distance between me and Damien, I leap into his arms. When he catches me, his darkness feathers into the sea. We entwine, twirling in a whirlpool as the sirens hold us in a glittering lattice.

He opens the golden vial, dripping the liquid onto his thumb, still red with blood. "Open your mouth," he commands. "Wh-what?" "It's honey." "Oh." My lips tense, swallowing hard before I part my mouth. He draws it open wider, generously placing his thumb onto my tongue. I recoil as the sweetened blood hits my taste buds. It doesn't have an iron tinge like human blood. It's dark and heavy. Like a current of wine. Cigarette smoke. Bitter orange peel or unripe fruit. What disgusts me more is how much I want it. It possesses me, and I let his thumb linger. He grins.

Kiana loved birds," Breena told him late one dusky evening. "When she was just a few summers old, she would run beneath them as they flew, her chubby arms stretched out as if tmo take flight alongside them." She sniffed and wrapped her arms around her stomach. "A few weeks before the attack, she told me that she was still going to fly one day. 'I look at the birds, and I see freedom,' she said. 'To soar above the hurt of the world, to be too high for the wars of men to touch you: that is what it means to fly.

Perhaps she wrote that life is really lived through dreams and intuitions, not fate and circumstance.

some people are better left in the past. -you must leave them there

Since history, war has always been the same. Old men talking, young men dying.

i’m not sure who i am anymore; maybe i never really was. but what i do know is i used to be better than this. kinder, less selfish, more caring, warmer. i think i’ve gotten this all backward. aren’t we supposed to grow with age? aren’t we supposed to be better as each year passes?

friends don’t love like this. - friends with benefits

you are perfect in every way, especially with your flaws. acknowledge the things making you different while embracing everything making you unique. even though you think you are broken, there is so much beauty in your pain.

never let anyone get in the way of your goals in life. more importantly, never give up on your passions and your dreams.

you’ve spent so much of your life doing what others expect of you. i think it’s time you start doing things for yourself.

Yes. Japan will overrun us," the scholar said. "But we will turn them into Chinese. Give us five hundred years. You wait.

Sometimes she even wore cardigans, what she felt women wore when their sex life was over.

~ Not every poem is meant for oral stimulation, some are better devoured mentally.