Judith Lasater Quotes

[Let] go of your attachments: your attachment to being right, to having total control, or to living forever. This process of letting go is integral to the process of becoming whole.

What we learned about love and relationships from our childhood feels normal. But just because something feels familiar doesn't mean it is healthy. Spend five minutes today quietly reflecting on one of your relationships. Does it enrich your life? If you find that it doesn't, consider what changes you need to make so the relationship feeds you.

I believe that perception does not shape your life; it is your life.

Beliefs are rigid thoughts. Beliefs are thoughts that get repeated enough to take on a kind of internal structure. No belief is the truth; it is only a belief.

When carving stone, the sculptor removes everything that is not the statue. […] The art of revealing beauty lies in removing what conceals it. So, too, Patanjali [in the Yoga Sutras] tells us that wholeness exists within us. Our work is to chisel away at everything that is not essence, not Self.

We accept responsibility for ourselves when we acknowledge that ultimately there are no answers outside of ourselves, and no gurus, no teachers, and no philisophies that can solve the problems of our lives. They can only suggest, guide, and inspire. It is our dedication to living with open hearts and our commitment to the day-to-day details of our lives that will transform us.

Integrity is what you do when no one is looking.   LIVING YOUR YOGA: To practice yoga, telling the truth is not enough. We need to practice not lying. Today live with integrity by not lying to yourself about one important thing in your life.

To cultivate empathy means to see the world through the eyes of another without judgement, without trying to "fix" it, without needing it to be different. It is acceptance independent of agreement, understanding without any implied coercion for oneself or the other to change. There is also no sense of wanting to "educate" the other person about how their perspective is wrong and ours is right.

If you expect more from yourself than from others, you are saying that you are better than others and, therefore, must perform at a superior level. I do not mean that you should not set goals for yourself. Rather, the question is, how do you react if you cannot meet these goals? Honestly admitting that you may have not done your best is not judgement. It is judgement when you draw a conclusion about yourself based on your ideas about failure. Honesty involves taking responsibility; judgment has to do with blame. To view yourself as bad or a failure because you did not accomplish what you set out to do is judgment. To state clearly and simply that you did not accomplish your plan is taking responsibility.

For something to be funny, it has to have an element of truth: lies are not funny. So

Choice is at the heart of service.

I came to understand that belief is a preconception about the way reality should be; faith is the willingness to experience reality as it is, including the acceptance of the unknown. An interesting way to understand the difference is to use the words interchangeably in the same sentence: I believe in Santa Claus. I have faith in Santa Claus. Belief can impede spiritual unfoldment; faith is supremely necessary for it.

Now, well beyond my teens, I feel that there is no such thing as wasted love. Any love that we experience holds great power - the power to transform both us and those we love. In fact, without love we cannot be transformed.

I suggest that, before speaking or taking some other action, you first ask yourself these questions: Is it necessary? Is it true? Is it nonharming? If you can answer yes to all these questions, it may be okay to proceed. If not, you must weigh what is the right action in the situation.

Practice is not about what you get, it is about what you give. Whether you are driven or resistant, the medicine is the same: do what is truly possible with unwavering commitment to giving yourself to the moment. Without this intention, practice becomes another task to be completed, and it loses its ability to transform. And, transformation, or freedom, is the reason for all discipline.

If you expect more from yourself than from others, you are saying that you are better than others and therefore must perform at a superior level.

Learning to be present with yourself and to abide in that which is steady and comfortable does not allow space for self-judgment. When you live this way, you are practicing yoga: you are living fully.

The sad thing about being caught up in attachment or aversion is that it interferes with the ability to experience things as they are. Even when these things are painful and difficult, there is an advantage to fully experiencing them as they occur. When you do, you are unburdened. You do not have to carry them with you in an unfinished state. This process of experiencing the difficulty now allows you to begin to heal. Learning to live in the moment, complete with recognizing your preferences and your attachment and aversion, is like a soothing balm on a sunburn.

Physical, emotional, and mental pain are inevitable in life. Suffering is another matter. Suffering is the personalization we bring to our difficulties. [We have no control over the actions of another, but we do have control over our own reactions to them.]

I wanted them to realized that there is enough time, enough love, and certainly enough apple pie in life ... I believed that the cause of many of the world's ills could be directly connected to greed, and that I thought it was crucial that children learn from an early age that there is enough of what they need.

Greed presents itself as the longing for both the material and the nonmaterial, especially wanting more than is needed. However, whatever you stockpile - be it diamonds, big houses, fame, money, proficiency at advanced yoga poses, or less flashy things, you will inevitably encounter two certainties. First, ... all will be lost. Second, these things in and of themselves will never satisfy your cravings, which are expressions of your feelings of fear and emptiness. You see, sometimes we temporarily lose our way, becoming convinced that if we acquire this thing or that skill, we will finally become acceptable to ourselves and to the world. In our fear, we have forgotten that we are already whole.

How do you honor the spirit of karma yoga and also honor your own needs? ... [Y]ou can come to karma yoga by determining what is possible for you right here and right now. You can assess your physical health, energy level, and abilities. You can say no if that is more truthful than a resentful yes. You can notice when you get internal messages that you are helping in order to gain power, or recognition, or love. ... When you serve yourself, you make it possible to serve others. And when you serve others, you acknowledge your interdependence with all of life. ... What kind of servant are you: resentful and manipulative, or joyful and inspiring?

Truthfulness includes the small things that no one but you would ever know about. ... I also realized that I could not lecture on truthfulness and clarity and at the same time lie about my income (or anything else). It is in the nitty-gritty details of your life that you live your yoga. ... I told her that if I used one I would be sending our children a message: It is okay to break the law (or lie) as long as you don't get caught. To do this, I would not be modeling integrity, so I reluctantly declined to purchase a radar detector. ... [I]f I want to live a truthful life, that choice of truthfulness must be part of the decisions that are worth a penny as well as those that are worth a million dollars. ... the results of becoming fully entrenched in the truth: You cannot say anything that does not come true. In other words, if you are living the truth, then you cannot lie-because you are the truth. Everything you say comes true because you and the truth are one. Learning to speak from your place of truth is one of the most difficult - and one of the most important - things you can do in life. It is worth it because it frees you from the separation that lying creates, and it simultaneously supports others in living and speaking their truths.

When you react, you are not in a state of love. When you can love without expectation, you are in a state of pure love. What is usually declared to be love is not. Rather, it is need, or fear, or desire for power over another person. Love in its purest sense is not based upon what you get from the relationship, but on what the relationship allows you to give. The depth of your love is not reflected in what the other makes you feel, but in your willingness to give of yourself. Love's job is to lead you to intimacy with what is enduring in yourself and in others. Whether this connection lasts for seconds or for decades, love is not wasted. Through it, you have been transformed. ... I am not recommending that you accept the actions of others, even those you love, without discrimination. ... let only those things pass through the net that are life affirming. ... never discard the net. It is a reminder of your obligation to yourself to be discriminating. Without it, you may miss the opportunity to love yourself.

... I consciously closed down my energy. He instantly left me alone. I learned a powerful lesson that day. When you open up your heart, it can be out of pride. Had I been wiser, I would have realized that it would be better to keep my energy to myself unless I was truly the loving person that I thought I was. Vulnerability is not an excuse for forgetting to honor the appropriateness of sharing love. Learning to share the deep opening of your heart is life's most important lesson. But it needs discrimination as its partner.

... the only thing I was to do while living was to love everyone. That, she let me know, is the purpose of life.

Perhaps it means that we are, in every moment, to remember the whole, to remember the gift of life, to remember the preciousness of every second. When we do this remembering, something shifts inside us. When we do this remembering, we talk differently, we act differently, and we treat self and others differently. When we keep our awareness on this moment with gratitude, we increase our ability to choose how we act and how we interact with the world. To worship is to remember the sacred, however we conceive of it. ... When we slow down and open our heart and mind, we realize that we can't conclusively answer any of the really big questions about existence, especially questions of meaning. Not that we should stop trying! But slowing own and opening up allows us to enter a state of wonderment and humility in the face of the vastness of creation. This state is one of worship, a silent and embodied worship that is not necessarily shaped by specific ritual. Rather it is shaped by our intention and our willingness to understand on a profound level our small place in the Universe. This embodied worship allows our kinship with all beings and all of nature to become more than just apparent to our conscious mind. This kinship is now lived from our very cells. To experience this level of joy is not only to worship it is also to become worship. ... You could say that to worship is to invite the sacred to fill our body, mind, and soul, to surrender to the great mystery, however we experience it and whatever name we give it. The great benefit of this willingness to invite the sacred in is that it helps us feel healed and whole in that moment. When we worship in this broad way, we surrender our struggling ego and mind to the wholeness of creation and thus feel a little less burdened, a little less overwhelmed, a little less afraid. ... Worship is rather an internal shift stimulated by the external activity that we call ritual. To worship is to assume a new relationship with yourself and all creation - with God. To worship is to be willing to be unsure, unresolved, to admit how much we don't know and will never know. I invite you, dear reader, to be open to daily worship, to set aside any narrow interpretation of what worship is. Instead, allow yourself to imagine the possibility of creating a continuous conversation with the sacred. That is the path of the mystic, and it can live as a comfortable companion in a secular life. Worship is the music of the soul and as much is the ultimate universal language. In the end, to worship is to acknowledge life on the deepest level. Perhaps life itself is the ultimate prayer, the ultimate worship.

Would you be willing to ...

Don't believe your thoughts; they are just neurotransmitters locking into receptor sites, not reality. ... As I studied and practiced more, I began to see that this emerging freedom from the tyranny of my thoughts was the only real freedom. ... This is a key to living yoga. Watching thoughts of anger, greed, boredom, impatience, I was no longer at the mercy of them. I had some space to choose what I would say and do in a way I never had before. I began to recognize patterns; I began to take it all more lightly. By learning to relax, I experienced less physical tension, which allowed me to see my monkey mind, which allowed me to let go of it a bit, which allowed be to feel more connected to the present moment, which is another word for the Infinite.

I realized that the antidote to impatience was allowing myself to reenter the flow of things, that is, to be in sync with the speed with which things were happening. ... All of these times - waiting, sitting, and understanding- are valuable. I can choose not to experience them as wasted time by choosing to be present and actually live these precious moments. After all, to reject them is to reject life itself.

You can say no if that is more truthful than a resentful yes.

In Greek, phren has as its secondary meaning “the mind, as the seat of the intellect or the heart as the seat of the passions.

when we speak, we change the world.

When I hear     , I feel     , because I need     ; would you be willing to     ?

Posture reflects and can greatly influence our mood, how others see and judge us, and simply how we feel about ourselves and about being alive.2

This practice can be done both on and off the yoga mat. It is difficult but rewarding beyond belief. The next time you feel yourself caught in the grip of attachment, such as wanting something to turn out a certain way, take time out—right then and there—to notice what is happening in your body. How does your belly feel? Has your breathing changed? Is your jaw tight? Your forehead drawn? Notice your bodily sensations. They are the manifestations of your attachment.

To practice yoga in the deepest sense is to commit to developing awareness by observing our lives: our thoughts, our words, and our actions. There

Abiding Practice can remind us that there is nothing we need for wholeness that does not already exist within us.

mantra is something that helps you to transcend ordinary ways of thinking. These are meant to be your life-affirming companions throughout the day. You might say that each is a modern-day sutra.

MANTRAS FOR DAILY LIVING ​I am my own authority. ​My life is a work in progress. ​I desire wholeness.

the answers are within me. ​Life is practice, practice is life. ​I commit to living my life fully in this moment.

She interpreted discipline as doing what was possible with consistency. I had interpreted discipline as quantity. I realized that I thought two hours of yoga practice indicated a disciplined life, whereas five minutes did not. In time, I came to realize her wisdom: Do what you can and do it fully.

So if you ask yourself from what exactly are you to be detached, the only possible answer is that you are to give up your attachment to the way you think things are. When you do, you get out of your own way and

If you notice that you have a strong desire to be right, try not venturing an opinion the next time someone else expresses one.

It is our dedication to living with open hearts and our commitment to the day-to-day details of our lives that will transform us.

to practice is to pay attention to your whole life: your thoughts, your bodily sensations, and your speech and other actions.

Commit yourself to doing what is possible. Make a list of what you have to do tomorrow; eliminate activities that are unnecessary, and reschedule those that can and should be postponed

MANTRAS FOR DAILY LIVING ​I give myself fully to each moment. ​Discipline is quality, not quantity. ​I can always make a choice. ​There is enough time. ​My yoga practice is discipline in action.

The basic distinctions that are so important to Nonviolent Communication: • requests and demands, • feelings and evaluations, • observations and judgments, • needs and strategies [to meet needs].

If I wanted to influence their behavior, it had to be through my own. The only real control I had was the choice of my own words and actions, including being clear about my expectations and needs.

1. I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. 2. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape having ill health. 3. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. 4. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them. 5. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground on which I stand. ... I see it as a loving reminder of the life we have given. As such, everything is perfect. Along with things that surely will be lost, impermanence makes way for new possibilities, such as working out a difficulty with a friend, giving birth to a child after years of trying to conceive, recovering from an illness, learning to do a yoga pose that you thought once was beyond your ability, and more.

... [T]ruth has at least three levels. The first is a basic communication that we seek in our daily lives, that is, telling the truth about what we see, what we feel, and what we need. And we want others to do the same for us. ... What we see, feel, and need is not always clear to us nor does it always feel safe safe for us to express. ... I suffer just knowing that I've told a lie, and all lies separate me from myself and from others. ... Integrity is internal honesty. It is telling the truth when no one would ever know. Integrity is refusing to tell a lie for self or for others. ... One of the most powerful understandings about truth that I have learned is that although telling or hearing the truth may help lift a weight from our shoulders, it may simultaneously break our hearts. Telling the truth is often not easy in the short run; it is, however, infinitely valuable in the long run. To lie requires that you turn away from yourself and others, and that creates misery. Living stay is learning to make conscious choices about truthfulness in daily living.

Am I suggesting that we no longer try to achieve our goals? Absolutely not. It is not accomplishment that is the problem. The problem is the belief that accomplishments are the solution to an aching soul. When my children were young, I asked them for lists of what they wanted for Christmas. ... I tried to buy the exact gifts that my children requested. I strove to give my children what they longed for because I wanted them to realize that they could have the material things that seemed so important and still be unhappy. If they never got what they wanted, it would be easy to blame their unhappiness on that. I reasoned that if my kids received the gifts they wanted (again, within limits), they would have a better chance of learning to find satisfaction other than in material goods. As my children matured, they began to ask for gifts that could not be found in a store.

[C]hange comes first and foremost from the process of paying meticulous attention to a thought. When we do, we have a greater chance of separating from it, a process that I call dis-identification. This means that we may continue to have the thought but realize that it is only a thought, that is a neurological-biochemical event: it is not who we are.

Sometimes I notice my yoga students practicing their less-than favorite poses with a ho-hum attitude. At the moments, I remind them that although yoga is powerful, it cannot transform us unless we love it. When we love, we are receptive to the other. When we love, we are vulnerable. Although being vulnerable can be frightening, it is also the doorway to the ultimate freedom.

Another way to listen in a new way to your inner voice is to hear whatever anyone says to you as a request. Specifically, translate everything anyone says to you as either a “please” or a “thank you.” (..) One day I stopped my car at a red light and was a little bit too far into the crosswalk. A man who was crossing yelled at me, calling me a stupid driver. (..) I decided to try hearing what he said as a request, in particular as a “please,” a technique I had just learned. So I said to myself, What if he said it this way: “Please hear how afraid I was that you might have hit me and injured me.” When I translated “stupid driver” into “please hear my fear,” I felt compassion arise in me for him and for myself. I really liked how I felt about the situation then; I was just a human being, as was he, doing the best we could. I felt neither angry at him nor angry at myself. (..) When we choose to hear the other’s statement as “please hear my pain,” we have the choice to act in a way that will connect us with them.

consider that you can commit to little as five minutes a day. The highest form of discipline is consistency: powerful transformation can come from regularity.